It will good for Brian to see a woman more often. The only problem is that he doesn't and likely may never fall in love with her. The title of your thread says it all, Btian loves your wife. He will try and compare every woman to her and they will never measure up because he loves Julie. Does Julie feel the same for him? Only she knows for sure, but I'm sure that you have a pretty good idea. I believe that a woman or a man can love more than one person just as a parent loves all of his/her children. Maybe in different ways and for different reasons, but the love is the same for each. I don't know if this is the case at all, but I think julie has never allowed their relationship to be too frequent for precisely that reason. If this woman doesn't work and she won't if Brian doesn't fall in love with her, and quite frankly it shouldnt if he doesn't love her, I think that it might be time for julie to plan more time with Brian. I may be way off base, but I believe I might very well be right.
D+D you make a very astute observation, and I actually agree with your view.
I can tell that Brian does love Juli and has for a long time. I know their time together alone is true lovemaking and not just sex. (It may have started off as "mercy sex" from Juli's perspective, but the relationship has moved well beyond that now). Juli herself has said to me that she.."loves Brian as an intimate friend". And I think she is totally honest about that. She DOES love him, but as you pointed out...there are different levels of love that people can have for others.
I have never felt that Juli's love for Brian comes anywhere close to equaling her love for me as her husband. Ours is a different and much deeper relationship. Our many years as husband and wife, our shared life together, children, grandchildren, life experiences, cannot be equaled by a relatively few sexual encounters. No matter how intimate those encounters are.
But I also know that I do share more than Juli's body with Brian. It gets complex when a woman loves two men, even though the love is different. Brian and I each have our own dynamic love that we co-share with Juli. Mine is more rounded to include the things I mentioned earlier. Brian's is sexual. And I can freely admit that Juli's sexual relationship and emotional bond in the bedroom with Brian is in some ways deeper than what she has with me.
Even though their sex is more infrequent than what I have with Juli, he is able to experience things with her that I cannot. I am thinking mainly of her orgasms with him. Because of his stamina (compared to my lack), he is able to experience sex with her more than I am. Because of that, the time that Brian is literally inside of Juli is probably more than what I am inside her, even though their frequency in bed together is much less than what I have with her. In other words if Brian is engaged in intercourse with her for 30 minutes each time, and I am inside her 5 minutes each time...the math speaks for itself. That is our situation.
So to sum up your point, in a way Brian and Juli do have a marriage within our marriage, and that is not a negative. It actually has been a positive for all three of us. We each are still getting good from the three-way relationship. And like you I actually expect that Brian will soon decide that he wants to continue the sexual relationship with my wife. And I agree that if we start it up again, Juli may need to at least consider meeting more frequently with Brian.