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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Sat Feb 15, 2020 4:35 pm
by regular3
Hope you had an interesting valentine's day.
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2020 9:58 pm
by luckyguy3
Some huge and unexpected changes for us, sorry I have not been communicating but we have been going through a lot of adjustments. Several weeks ago we got a call from our second daughter who lives out West. She has been living out there with her long term significant other for the past few years. She called to tell us she was pregnant, thrilled about it. Three days later she called back totally devastated. Her boyfriend ended up not happy about the pregnancy and urged her to terminate it. She was blown away, totally crushed. Many, many calls back and forth between her and Jen. Net result is that the relationship ended. Our daughter is beyond heartbroken but determined to have the baby. I can only respect her decision, that’s what “choice” is all about. Perhaps the most subjective personal decision can be called upon to make.
Jen has been amazing, so loving a supportive. She came to me and said we had to offer our daughter the opportunity to come home and move in with us to have the baby. Even though it is not due until late September, the changes are happening very fast. Our daughter has given notice at her job, Jen has already been out there for a week to start helping her pack for the move. Looks like our daughter will be here with us before the end of the month and staying with us for many months at a minimum.
This will completely upend our life style. No way that Jen is going to throw another unexpected curve ball at our daughter by telling her about her relationship with Dan. That relationship Will effectively have to end, or at least become much less frequent and very discreet. Dan is not happy about it, suggested that Jen just tell the truth to our daughter and keep spending time with him regularly. Jen rejected that out of hand, said that our daughter (and upcoming grandchild) were her absolute priority.
So we have a lot of changes coming very soon. Not sure how it is all going to sort out. I am worried for our daughter, she is so hurt about the breakup. But like Jen I am one hundred percent there for her. And so proud of Jen and the way she is coming through for our daughter. What an amazing woman I am married to.
LG4
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2020 10:24 pm
by regular3
Family first!
Keeping perspective on this lifestyle and its place in one's life is what makes it so successful for some. Losing that perspective would be disastrous. I do hope everything works out well with your daughter and that her partner can see through his fears.
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2020 1:49 am
by afagehi7
luckyguy3 wrote: ↑Wed Mar 11, 2020 9:58 pm
Some huge and unexpected changes for us, sorry I have not been communicating but we have been going through a lot of adjustments. Several weeks ago we got a call from our second daughter who lives out West. She has been living out there with her long term significant other for the past few years. She called to tell us she was pregnant, thrilled about it. Three days later she called back totally devastated. Her boyfriend ended up not happy about the pregnancy and urged her to terminate it. She was blown away, totally crushed. Many, many calls back and forth between her and Jen. Net result is that the relationship ended. Our daughter is beyond heartbroken but determined to have the baby. I can only respect her decision, that’s what “choice” is all about. Perhaps the most subjective personal decision can be called upon to make.
Jen has been amazing, so loving a supportive. She came to me and said we had to offer our daughter the opportunity to come home and move in with us to have the baby. Even though it is not due until late September, the changes are happening very fast. Our daughter has given notice at her job, Jen has already been out there for a week to start helping her pack for the move. Looks like our daughter will be here with us before the end of the month and staying with us for many months at a minimum.
This will completely upend our life style. No way that Jen is going to throw another unexpected curve ball at our daughter by telling her about her relationship with Dan. That relationship Will effectively have to end, or at least become much less frequent and very discreet. Dan is not happy about it, suggested that Jen just tell the truth to our daughter and keep spending time with him regularly. Jen rejected that out of hand, said that our daughter (and upcoming grandchild) were her absolute priority.
So we have a lot of changes coming very soon. Not sure how it is all going to sort out. I am worried for our daughter, she is so hurt about the breakup. But like Jen I am one hundred percent there for her. And so proud of Jen and the way she is coming through for our daughter. What an amazing woman I am married to.
LG4
1. Dan should understand. He should be happy with occasional meets and if he's not then he isn't the man y'all thought he was.
2. Daughters bf is an asshole. Breaking up over a kid he created. He should have been with her and supported her. It's time for him to man up and be daddy. Get some child support.
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2020 2:56 am
by funcpl477
Wow... Life can change so quickly. Jen is showing her true character, priorities and that her love for you and her family is her absolute. Good on her in huge quantities. My admiration for both of you.
Dan has been a really lucky man - while it is very hard on him now, it is up to him to understand, accept and appreciate the gift you two have given him and where Jen and your priorities are. Whether he moves on or accepts whatever time Jen might be able to share with him, it has been a good and fun run. Hopefully he will celebrate that.
May you daughter have an easy pregnancy, and bring a wonderful new life into this world. The "sperm donor" showed his true character - his loss. Being your daughter, I am sure she is a wonderful young woman and will make a really good mom.
Congratulations!
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2020 6:58 am
by Jcksatter
Thank you for the update, and congratulations on the grandchild.
You and Jen are doing the right thing, being there for your daughter. She will want to be in the state she wants the child support setup in when the child is born, would be the only advice I would have. She should see a lawyer.
As for Dan I hope he was not to insistent on telling your daughter about the arrangements, he has, with Jen and you, so he can still have his fun, if so then that would end it for me. But you would have a better idea on this then I could.
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:26 am
by samlowen
What a curveball you’ve all been thrown! Jen sure has stepped up to the plate and is crushing that curveball right now.
Dan’s response is to be expected and this change is going to be a test for him. Does he have the patience to step back for the foreseeable future? I’m guessing he will be fine as he adjusts to this new normal. After the ramp up that’s been going on for the past year, the suddenness of it all..abrupt changes can be difficult.
Sorry to read that your daughter’s ex turned out to be not what was being advertised. Incredibly poor of him. I’m certain that you and Jen are going to provide her the best environment possible for her pregnancy.
Obviously this has curtailed your adventures with Deb too. How is she doing? Is she dating again?
Thank you for returning and sharing this update. You have been missed and don’t owe us any apologies.
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2020 9:53 am
by Robrt
LG3 I've been checking your thread almost everyday ...... As much as there has been a major change you are dealing with it as caring parents and in an adult fashion. Jen has greatly impressed me. There is no doubt where her loyalties lie. You and your family come first. To me that is a vivid expression of true love. God bless you all.
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2020 6:07 pm
by curiouscouple122
Much love to you and your family LG3. Take care and maybe some day we hope to hear from you again.
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:47 pm
by Whosbeensleeping
Best of luck with all the new developments. Sure you'll be busy. Respect and best wishes to all. Drop us a line now and then please.
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2020 12:38 am
by sabya167
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2020 1:36 am
by afagehi7
Can't y'all still occasionally play at his house? I mean, your daughter is an adult and doesn't need 24-7 supervision. Couldn't you two have a date night once every couple weeks or once a month?
I guess wife doesn't mind if Dan gets it elsewhere?
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2020 3:41 pm
by D+D
Life is life. We all know it we've all had curve balls and some things that are worse. It's always good tho to count the blessings and look at the good. Number 1 is your daughter is okay. Losing the guy might, in the future be a good thing. That baby is not only a good thing, but a miraculous thing. Jen and you will be so happy with the new grand kid. Here's hoping its healthy and full of life. Perhaps this may be the best for the two of you as a couple too. Right now the whole thing is consuming, but one day you'll see it as a wonderful thing. As for as Dan, this is about family. He'll have to deal with it. In my opinion you owe him nothing. He should be supportive and deal with it. Lastly congratulations. Like you said, that's what choice is all about. You're good people be happy.
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2020 8:12 pm
by wingman
LG - I see this as some very positive things here.
1. Your daughter found a very significant kink in “her knight’s” armor....before she got married, or invested/wasted more time!
2. You two are going to be grandparents! I have 6 grandkids, and its incredible!!!!
3. You'll found out Jen's priorities are in the right place.
4. If you can arrange for Jen to spend more time with Dan, you'll be the hero!
5. If Dan doesn't respect "family first", better to find out now!
Seems like that's a very positive list!!!!
Congrats!!!
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2020 7:44 am
by Long Lurker 34
Ditto Wingman - well put.
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 1:21 pm
by Observer1931
funcpl477 » Thu Mar 12, 2020 11:56 am
Wow... Life can change so quickly. Jen is showing her true character, priorities and that her love for you and her family is her absolute. Good on her in huge quantities. My admiration for both of you.
Dan has been a really lucky man - while it is very hard on him now, it is up to him to understand, accept and appreciate the gift you two have given him and where Jen and your priorities are. Whether he moves on or accepts whatever time Jen might be able to share with him, it has been a good and fun run. Hopefully he will celebrate that.
May you daughter have an easy pregnancy, and bring a wonderful new life into this world. The "sperm donor" showed his true character - his loss. Being your daughter, I am sure she is a wonderful young woman and will make a really good mom.
Congratulations!
by Jcksatter » Thu Mar 12, 2020 3:58 pm
Thank you for the update, and congratulations on the grandchild.
You and Jen are doing the right thing, being there for your daughter. She will want to be in the state she wants the child support setup in when the child is born, would be the only advice I would have. She should see a lawyer.
As for Dan I hope he was not to insistent on telling your daughter about the arrangements, he has, with Jen and you, so he can still have his fun, if so then that would end it for me. But you would have a better idea on this then I could.
These two posts reflect my thoughts too.
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2020 2:17 am
by Robrt
Is Jen upset that Dan may not be in the picture for some time?
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2020 5:23 am
by Guhunkadorn
IMO - based on experience - DO NOT go after bio dad for $upport.
He is a loser and you want him out of your daughter's life....GONE!
Your daughter will get through this and one day meet and marry a decent guy who will want to adopt and support the child as his own.
If the bio dad is in picture via child support that will be an obstacle to deal with during the adoption process, which itself can take 1 - 1.5 yrs. even if everything goes smoothly.....seek out specialized legal advice sooner than later.
Good luck and CONGRATULATIONS.
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:55 am
by secretdatesdiary
Wow I am up to date. A lot happened I see.
Congrats on becoming a future grandpa and Jen a future grandma!
I hope Dan will understand the situation over time. Might this be the first time that he feels like a true secondary?
I feel sorry that the relationship of your daughter ended. Hope you don't mind speaking my mind (double lol).
Both had sex, so pregnancy can always happen. I hope she learns from the situation.
I don't understand relationships where it is not discussed beforehand on what to do if pregnancy or whatever happens.
Anyways, good luck on handling the situation. Mighty complex, but I have faith in you two.
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:18 am
by wannabecUKold
You are right to be there for your daughter and to have her come back home. You will love having the little one with you.
Of course Dan must play second fiddle. In due course let your daughter know more. It will be a surprise to her and she will ask questions but she has to understand that you have your lives too, are not just her parents. She might be comfortable that Jen has a sexual relationship with another man; less comfortable if she has to interact with him. Her main concern will be lest your marriage might break up because of it.
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:36 am
by js_403
Highly respectful of Jen dropping her personal lifestyle to be w the daughter.
Would it also be your need to move to your bigger house in the Biz town to avail the benefits of a bigger place, more space for your daughter and potentially prepare for a busy summer season in the optimistic case of the virus fear subsidizing.
Maybe that will also give Jen an excuse to fly back some weekends under the excuse to maintain the place and hookup w Dan.
I have enjoyed your lifestyle and you’re writing skills. I am just not comfortable w Dan exposing Jan to his Workplace. Why compromise work w pleasure/life style. Also there have been no updates from you on Dans relationship w his kids. Is he completely out of touch w them?
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2020 5:26 pm
by luckyguy3
We are back home with our daughter and her stuff. Seventeen hours each way. Took our own food with us, only stops en route were for gas, restrooms and changing drivers. Lots of disinfectant wipes and Purell used along the way. Feels good to be home and to have her with us. When we left there were no confirmed cases in our town. By the time we got back there were two. Decided to stay here rather than at our old place because of access to more and better medical facilities. Needless to say our summer tourism business is completely on hold, expecting we will lose the full season at a minimum. What crazy times we are going through, puts everything else in perspective doesn’t it?
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2020 8:58 am
by Observer1931
Thanks for your update. My very best wishes with your changing life. There are very few over fifty that have not experienced life changing events. Keep us posted as best you can.
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2020 9:07 am
by samlowen
I’m happy to read that all three of you are back home and can take the necessary precautions right now. Stay safe and healthy!
Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend
Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2020 10:50 pm
by norbertrichard1
GLAD TO HEAR THAT ALL THREE OF YOU ARE HOME AND SAFE. After your daughter has time to get over her dissapointment of her X's failure to accept his responsibility, of their union, and she gets her situation under control, planing for the baby, do you think that Jen will breach the subject of your polly lifestyle, to show her that she will love again, and it will be stronger than she ever thought it could be?
