Another man loves my wife

When a fuck buddy becomes something more.
charliegme
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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by charliegme » Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:45 pm

I have just read your story. It is amazing. Where are the pics you posted? I can't find them in the Hotties section. Your wife is amazing.

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D+D
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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by D+D » Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:49 pm

Mark, I too early on thought that I had gotten more than I had bargained for, but good communication and truthfulness solved that situation and I realized that my wife and love of my life would never hurt me. Julie is very grounded with common sense, that's why your relationship with Brian will be a very rewarding one for all three of you. She will never let you get hurt. She knows you better than you know yourself in many ways and she knows what you need and how much you can absorb. I'm happy for you and her and Brian is a very lucky man to have both of you.
Good luck. I'll be following you as always.
D+D

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by nevertoolate » Sun Jul 15, 2018 2:37 am

co-husband wrote:
Jerzeycuckhub wrote:Just my two cents here, but I've been told by many single guys who fuck married wives that they can never be fulfilled by having vanilla girlfriends. They need that added kink factor for a healthy sex life. Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, you can't put it back in again.

Also, once a woman has satisfying sex with an exceptional lover, it's hard for her to give that up no matter how much she loves her husband, The bond has been sealed between them and to give it up completely will often leave a huge void that cannot be replaced.
Jerzey yes...I agree and have found that to be true in our own experience.

I know from things that Brian has said (I believe sometimes he is talking to me through Juli) that he likes the thrill of making love to a married woman. I think his request (early on in 2015) that Juli and I abstain from sex the day prior to them meeting, was a clear signal that he understands he is having sex with another man's wife and he is also controlling my access to my own wife. (Of course I willingly agreed to this and fine it arousing).

And you're right too. Juli has already admitted to me that she enjoys the sex with him, and I know that would be difficult for her to simply give up. As you said, once it's experienced it will be difficult to go back.

Mark
Three important points stand out; the thrill of making love to a married woman, difficulty going back, and "denial."

Some times we forget, all three players here in this romantic adventure enjoy the thrill of a sexually expanded, satisfied married woman. A mixture of the forbidden, and compersion.

It would be hard for all three of you to go back because you have all enjoyed yourselves and positively benefited from the experience. Difficult to unlearn to swim or ride a bike.

Denial is a state of mind. I didn't feel slighted by allowing her to prepare herself physically or emotionally for her encounter with a lover. It's a gift of patience and respect to her and her lover. Some women are in a continuous state of desire and are truly wanton. Others compartmentalize their sexual relations.

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by co-husband » Sun Jul 15, 2018 11:40 am

nevertoolate wrote:
co-husband wrote:
Jerzeycuckhub wrote:Just my two cents here, but I've been told by many single guys who fuck married wives that they can never be fulfilled by having vanilla girlfriends. They need that added kink factor for a healthy sex life. Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, you can't put it back in again.

Also, once a woman has satisfying sex with an exceptional lover, it's hard for her to give that up no matter how much she loves her husband, The bond has been sealed between them and to give it up completely will often leave a huge void that cannot be replaced.
Jerzey yes...I agree and have found that to be true in our own experience.

I know from things that Brian has said (I believe sometimes he is talking to me through Juli) that he likes the thrill of making love to a married woman. I think his request (early on in 2015) that Juli and I abstain from sex the day prior to them meeting, was a clear signal that he understands he is having sex with another man's wife and he is also controlling my access to my own wife. (Of course I willingly agreed to this and fine it arousing).

And you're right too. Juli has already admitted to me that she enjoys the sex with him, and I know that would be difficult for her to simply give up. As you said, once it's experienced it will be difficult to go back.

Mark
Three important points stand out; the thrill of making love to a married woman, difficulty going back, and "denial."

Some times we forget, all three players here in this romantic adventure enjoy the thrill of a sexually expanded, satisfied married woman. A mixture of the forbidden, and compersion.

It would be hard for all three of you to go back because you have all enjoyed yourselves and positively benefited from the experience. Difficult to unlearn to swim or ride a bike.

Denial is a state of mind. I didn't feel slighted by allowing her to prepare herself physically or emotionally for her encounter with a lover. It's a gift of patience and respect to her and her lover. Some women are in a continuous state of desire and are truly wanton. Others compartmentalize their sexual relations.
Nevertoolate...That's how it has been for me as well. Observing the process of my wife preparing her body to give to another man has never offended me nor caused me any displeasure. I feel the expected angst as would any husband, but it is a positive part of the arousal factor. To willingly allow another man to have my wife in such a total way, is unnatural for a husband I suppose, and to willingly deny myself sexual access to my own wife (for a brief period) at the request of her lover, also is unnatural but is something that I get great pleasure from. Hard to explain to men who have never done it, but that is why I have always appreciated this forum. To discuss with others who experience similar situations. Men from both perspectives. Husbands at varying degrees of cuckolding, and also the boyfriends, lovers, Bulls perspectives as well.

Mark
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shall54
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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by shall54 » Sun Jul 15, 2018 5:58 pm

co-husband wrote:And yes, if / when we start up with Brian again, and I believe we will, I do think there should be and likely will be an increase in the time Juli and Brian spend together alone. Not an inordinate amount of time, but more than just a couple of hours twice a month. I think it will be time for them to have the opportunity to grow their bond with each other
Other than frequency, how would you see Juli and Brian's bond change?

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by co-husband » Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:56 am

shall54 wrote:
co-husband wrote:And yes, if / when we start up with Brian again, and I believe we will, I do think there should be and likely will be an increase in the time Juli and Brian spend together alone. Not an inordinate amount of time, but more than just a couple of hours twice a month. I think it will be time for them to have the opportunity to grow their bond with each other
Other than frequency, how would you see Juli and Brian's bond change?
Good question Shall...
My thinking is that if Juli and Brian do spend more time with each other, that it will help each of them relax and be able to enjoy intimacy together. I think Brian already wants more of that with Juli. She has been more reluctant over the last 3 years to let go and allow herself to be "given" to that deep of a relationship with Brian. I think much of that has been her concern not to hurt me, or for me to feel that she is "in love" with Brian. So if we can get past those concerns that she has, and if she can feel that it is safe for her to enjoy Brian more as a "boyfriend" and not just a "friend with benefits" I do believe that they can have a deeper and more frequent relationship both in and outside the bedroom.

Mark
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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by ckathrill » Mon Jul 16, 2018 11:32 am

I don't know...I know love can expand to include others like with having a second or third child. But this is quite different than that. I think the more love she feels with Brian, the overall less there is for you in the context of a complete man/woman relationship. You may end of with that she loves you because you allow her to have her true love with him.

Also, perhaps part of the sexual excitement is the possibility she may leave you for him. Or, she wants to leave badly but financial/familial issues prevent that - but you are not the reason she stays for.

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by co-husband » Mon Jul 16, 2018 11:57 am

ckathrill wrote:I don't know...I know love can expand to include others like with having a second or third child. But this is quite different than that. I think the more love she feels with Brian, the overall less there is for you in the context of a complete man/woman relationship. You may end of with that she loves you because you allow her to have her true love with him.

Also, perhaps part of the sexual excitement is the possibility she may leave you for him. Or, she wants to leave badly but financial/familial issues prevent that - but you are not the reason she stays for.
Good point, but I believe that in our situation, Juli and I truly do love each other very deeply. We have well over 30 years together and a very strong marriage bond. And actually Juli and I have a very frequent and active sex life with each other. ( I think her reluctance thus far to spend more intimate time with Brian is the result of how deeply she feels about our marriage and desire to protect it.).

And I don't believe my passive viewpoint is a result of naivete'. Your point is well taken that any situation where 2 men are sexually intimate with the same woman has potential to go very wrong. And if this relationship happened back when Juli and I were in our 20s rather than late 50s, then I would be much more concerned about her leaving me for another man...but I have no such concern now.

I have seen that a woman CAN love two men at the same time, and have different relationships with each man. And with Brian and Jul, I think it's natural to allow a more rounded emotional bond to be added to their already enjoyable sexual relationship, I think is simply a natural progression. She can grow in her love for Brian, and her love for me still not be diminished.

So while I agree that your concerns are very valid, they really do not apply to our situation. Would appreciate your further thoughts.

Mark
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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by pasadena95 » Mon Jul 16, 2018 3:38 pm

You have this perfectly figured out. Your wife will not leave you, only love you more. And part of this is that loving someone else only reinforces her appreciation and affection for you. So both of you are happy, but her lover may want more time with your wife and the three of you will need to decide how to make this work in a manner that lets them increase their connection while not depriving you of quality time and sex with her. She should not have to choose between her husband and lover, but husband must never feel neglected or deprived. Not always an easy balance to achieve.

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by shall54 » Mon Jul 16, 2018 10:31 pm

Mark, have you talked with Juli about your thoughts on her being able to expand her love for Brian? Is this something she wants as well or are you hoping it will be a natural evolution with time?

Again, I know that you are taking a break from seeing Brian at the moment, but this discussion is still very hot, thank you.

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by Missthefun » Tue Jul 17, 2018 6:25 am

Glad to see this thread up and running again. Hottest story on hear. I love the evolution, and I look forward to future installments.

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by pixwellguy » Tue Jul 17, 2018 7:12 am

ckathrill wrote:I don't know...I know love can expand to include others like with having a second or third child. But this is quite different than that. I think the more love she feels with Brian, the overall less there is for you in the context of a complete man/woman relationship. You may end of with that she loves you because you allow her to have her true love with him.

Also, perhaps part of the sexual excitement is the possibility she may leave you for him. Or, she wants to leave badly but financial/familial issues prevent that - but you are not the reason she stays for.
I'd have to politely disagree. Love is not a zero-sum game. As you've pointed out, we experience this all the time. Our family can grow, and we love every new member as much as the others. And while I think everyone can do this, I think women are more emotionally qualified to do this then are men. I believe they have the innate ability to love more than one man, but our society's norms, and the attitudes of men, make this a very unusual thing to happen.

In my own case, my wife is very openly and enjoyably in love with her lover. Her love for him does not take anything away from her love for me, in fact, in the years that she has been seeing him, we can both tell that her relationship with him has deepened and improved our relationship.

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by D+D » Tue Jul 17, 2018 7:45 am

co-husband wrote:
ckathrill wrote:I don't know...I know love can expand to include others like with having a second or third child. But this is quite different than that. I think the more love she feels with Brian, the overall less there is for you in the context of a complete man/woman relationship. You may end of with that she loves you because you allow her to have her true love with him.

Also, perhaps part of the sexual excitement is the possibility she may leave you for him. Or, she wants to leave badly but financial/familial issues prevent that - but you are not the reason she stays for.
Good point, but I believe that in our situation, Juli and I truly do love each other very deeply. We have well over 30 years together and a very strong marriage bond. And actually Juli and I have a very frequent and active sex life with each other. ( I think her reluctance thus far to spend more intimate time with Brian is the result of how deeply she feels about our marriage and desire to protect it.).

And I don't believe my passive viewpoint is a result of naivete'. Your point is well taken that any situation where 2 men are sexually intimate with the same woman has potential to go very wrong. And if this relationship happened back when Juli and I were in our 20s rather than late 50s, then I would be much more concerned about her leaving me for another man...but I have no such concern now.

I have seen that a woman CAN love two men at the same time, and have different relationships with each man. And with Brian and Jul, I think it's natural to allow a more rounded emotional bond to be added to their already enjoyable sexual relationship, I think is simply a natural progression. She can grow in her love for Brian, and her love for me still not be diminished.

So while I agree that your concerns are very valid, they really do not apply to our situation. Would appreciate your further thoughts.

Mark
Having followed this thread from the beginning,, it's HIGHLY unlikely that Julie will ever deprive Mark of affection. Anything is possible, but in this case highly unlikely. Not saying that Brian wouldn't want her for his own because he doesn't have cuckold tendencies, but Julie has always protected her and Mark's relationship and will continue to I think. Brian and Julie's relationship is based mostly on raw sexually attraction and mutual gratification. Mark and Julie's relationship is based on true love and tremendous respect for one another. Expand Brian and Julie's relationship I say, but Brian better not get too possessive or he's out!

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by co-husband » Tue Jul 17, 2018 10:32 am

pasadena95 wrote:You have this perfectly figured out. Your wife will not leave you, only love you more. And part of this is that loving someone else only reinforces her appreciation and affection for you. So both of you are happy, but her lover may want more time with your wife and the three of you will need to decide how to make this work in a manner that lets them increase their connection while not depriving you of quality time and sex with her. She should not have to choose between her husband and lover, but husband must never feel neglected or deprived. Not always an easy balance to achieve.
Yes pasadena...exactly right. This is one thing that I have learned through this process, is that the relationships evolve and as long as we all three are determined to keep it within certain limits, and to set the proper priorities, it can work extremely well for all of us. We each can gain from this and I believe we have. I do think as you said, that if Juli and I are going to include Brian in an intimate relationship, that we need to consider the time that HE needs with her, as well as the time Juli and I need together as husband and wife.

So it is balancing act, and I am thankful to have a wife who is so wise. She has been the one to keep us centered. Sometimes perhaps too cautious, but I'd rather this progress slowly and in the right way, than to move too quickly trying to satisfy some temporary, sexual need (usually the male needs).

Thanks for your comments!

Mark
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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by co-husband » Tue Jul 17, 2018 10:37 am

shall54 wrote:Mark, have you talked with Juli about your thoughts on her being able to expand her love for Brian? Is this something she wants as well or are you hoping it will be a natural evolution with time?

Again, I know that you are taking a break from seeing Brian at the moment, but this discussion is still very hot, thank you.
Yes shall...I have throughout this experience, tried not to press Juli too much too quickly. This is one reason I appreciate this forum. I can come here, share my experience and thoughts, and honestly gain some great insights from others, which have many times helped me to make better decisions.
We are currently taking a break, but my desire for her to continue a closer relationship with Brian is a topic that I have not yet had, at least to the level of what I have expressed here. When the sexual relationship starts up again, and I am still confident that it will, I will discuss my thoughts further with her.

Mark
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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by nevertoolate » Wed Jul 18, 2018 6:39 am

Much can be written about what you are encouraging your wife to have, but it really comes down to a deep marital love for her to be happy, fulfilled, and feel loved. Life is too short not to savor good food, good friends, passion, and sex.

We overthink some times that we do these things for them out of selfish sexual pleasure for ourselves, but none of that pleasure can be experienced if we think our loved one is not happy, safe, and secure enjoying the affections of other men.

It is simply love and devotion to her happiness manifested in a very intense, different way.

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by co-husband » Wed Jul 18, 2018 8:06 am

nevertoolate wrote:Much can be written about what you are encouraging your wife to have, but it really comes down to a deep marital love for her to be happy, fulfilled, and feel loved. Life is too short not to savor good food, good friends, passion, and sex.

We overthink some times that we do these things for them out of selfish sexual pleasure for ourselves, but none of that pleasure can be experienced if we think our loved one is not happy, safe, and secure enjoying the affections of other men.

It is simply love and devotion to her happiness manifested in a very intense, different way.
Well said nevertoolate...
I agree and have also learned through our experience that the older we get, the less inhibited we allow ourselves to be (in our case, my wife included). Where she may not have considered such a 3-way relationship 20 years ago, now she is open to it, within limits of course. I agree also that often it's assumed that a husband who suggests his wife be with another man, is doing it for a totally selfish reason. And some men probably do, and even I admit I get great enjoyment from sharing her, but if Juli did not enjoy being with Brian, then none of this would be happening. And she has total veto power at any time. If she were to tell me one day that she didn't want to do it anymore, then it would all be over. (I mean the sharing, not the marriage lol)

But to see and to know my wife truly enjoys the sex with another man, is what makes it so special for me as her husband. There are many levels of enjoyment in this lifestyle....erotic sex is one, but the basis is love.

Thanks for your comments!

Mark
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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by D+D » Sun Aug 12, 2018 7:15 am

Just wondering mark, has Juli had any communication with Brian of late? Do you have any idea as to how his new relationship is working out?

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by co-husband » Mon Aug 13, 2018 7:57 am

D+D wrote:Just wondering mark, has Juli had any communication with Brian of late? Do you have any idea as to how his new relationship is working out?
D+D yes in fact, Brian has been texting Juli more the past 3 or 4 weeks. She has shown the texts to me and it seems to be fairly benign so far, but it's not difficult to read between the lines. We have had a very intimate relationship with Brian for 3 years (for Juli it's been a literal, sexually intimate relationship..for me I would call it an intimate friendship with him but of course not physically so..other than feeling his seed in my wife), so we know him well enough to conclude that his current relationship with his girlfriend is either not going totally as he prefers, or he doesn't see it continuing long-term.

I do not yet know exactly which it is, but I expect we will be having a discussion with him soon. I have been planning to talk to Juli about it and we may do that sooner rather than later. I'll write more here when I have confirmed my suspicions, but for now Brian is still dating a woman and we have taken a break from him and Juli meeting for sex.

Juli and I of course continue our sexual intimacy with each other, but for various reasons, not the least of which is our busy schedules, the frequency of our sex has been markedly less than before. Also my own health is now a (albeit minor) factor, so I think we both have come to the realization that having a second man (Brian) involved in our sex life is a desirable thing.

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by D+D » Mon Aug 27, 2018 5:47 pm

Mark, as we know, Brian will not likely find what he searches for in another woman other than Juli because another man, this man, loves your wife. He will be content in the end to see her when he can.

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by shall54 » Sat Sep 22, 2018 10:40 pm

Mark, hopefully you are feeling better. Has anything changed with Brian and his relationship? How's Juli? Seems like she should also be missing Brian's 'talents'!

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by co-husband » Wed Sep 26, 2018 1:08 am

shall54 wrote:Mark, hopefully you are feeling better. Has anything changed with Brian and his relationship? How's Juli? Seems like she should also be missing Brian's 'talents'!
Hi Shall...Actually Juli and I are finishing up a busy month but have recently decided to tentatively to renew meeting with Brian in October. We've talked with him and while we do not yet have a definite date, we have all agreed to renew the sexual relationship but in a (yet to be determined) limited way.

The reason I say "limited" is because Brian is still dating the woman he has been seeing all summer. But he informed us the nature of their relationship is almost asexual at this point. He said she is a very nice lady and he likes her, but sexually she is quite conservative. He said they've had sex twice since June and each time she insisted he wear a condom, which he was not keen to do, but of course he relented.

When I first discussed with Juli the idea of her starting up the sexual relationship with Brian she rejected the idea immediately. Her reason was that she.."was not going to sleep with another woman's man". In what I consider a stroke of genius on my part lol..I replied that since Brian does seem to like this woman outside the bedroom, this may be an ideal time for Juli to supply Brian's sexual needs while he courts this woman, Juli could enjoy the sex (which I know she does) but not have the risk of Brian becoming too emotionally involved with her (Juli). This has always been the one point of trepidation on Juli's part...that is keeping Brian's emotional attachment in check.

So as soon as I made that point, to my surprise and glee..Juli agreed with me!
I have admitted here before that Juli and Brian do enjoy very good physical sex when they are together..Juli herself has admitted that to me. Brian's stamina and control has allowed Juli to reach her orgasms during intercourse which is something she and I have not been able to accomplish together (my lack of control). So I think my argument that this may indeed be the ideal time to have the sexual relationship with him won her over.

I'll keep everyone informed.

Mark
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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by Missthefun » Thu Sep 27, 2018 6:12 pm

Great news, Mark! Always great to hear from you again. Looking forward to October!

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by pasadena95 » Thu Sep 27, 2018 8:35 pm

Great news Mark. But if Brian's relationship with the other woman becomes more serious, then his honesty ( or lack thereof) about his sex life will become a factor. Maybe he doesn't really see a future with this other person. Your thoughts?

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Re: Another man loves my wife

Unread post by co-husband » Sun Sep 30, 2018 12:20 pm

pasadena95 wrote:Great news Mark. But if Brian's relationship with the other woman becomes more serious, then his honesty ( or lack thereof) about his sex life will become a factor. Maybe he doesn't really see a future with this other person. Your thoughts?
Hard to say at this point. I think there are some selfish motives going on, on all of our parts..including Juli. My and Brian's motives are pretty apparent as men. We think sexually above all, and in a rare exception I think Juli is allowing her sexuality to dominate too. But I don't think the risk is too great. If anything a renewed sexual relationship between Juli and Brian might cause his relationship with his girlfriend to draw out longer than it might otherwise. But from his description that may not be a bad thing for them in the long run.

I am confident that this woman is different than any other that he has dated since his divorce. I see in him a deeper attraction to her beyond the physical. I think he genuinely likes her and expects they can have a long-term relationship. And she seems to want sex to be something they add as the relationship deepens.

So I do think it's feasible for him to get his sexual release with Juli while simultaneously giving more time for the relationship with his girlfriend to continually develop outside the bedroom. Until the time when she (and he) are ready to add their own sexual relationship.
All of this is my own opinion based on the recent conversations we've had with Brian.

We'll be talking with him more this week and will probably discuss a date for him and Juli to meet. I'll keep all informed here.

Mark
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