Another man loves my wife

[co-husband]

Did a double-take to confirm it's been over 6 months since last post on this thread.

Your story is right up there with the best, most instructive, on this site.

Hope you and Julie are doing well and, obviously, would love an update.

I second this post.

CoHus - It's been a very long time since the last post, hope all is well and would like to learn of any intervening adventures.

Thank you for checking in on us.
I realize it's been a while since I last updated on our situation. Juli and I continue to do well, but there have been some changes in our situation with our friend Brian.

The short version is that Brian has now remarried.
He was single (divorced) for many years, and the last 7 he spent meeting with my wife Juli and they became very intimate lovers.
As naturally happens with an on-going sexual relationship, the two partners develop an emotional bond out of their sex. And Brian and Juli had that exact experience.

It had gotten to the point quite frankly where a decision was necessary as to how long their "intimate friendship" could continue as it was, or if something more was desired.

As as you can probably deduce, it was either continue in a much deeper relationship with Brian, or agree that it had realistically run it's course.
All three of us were part of this discussion.

So it was during that time....this was in the fall of last year (2021) that Brian began dating a woman that he had been in contact with (not sexually but socially) and their relationship developed nicely...to the point where Brian informed us of his intent to proceed with his new relationship. This was toward the end of 2021. Brian continued to meet with Juli for sex until December.
(In fact, Brian and his girlfriend were married just a week ago).

A lot of detail can be written about the transition and the feelings that were involved for us all. And perhaps I can write more about it in a subsequent post, but I'll, not try to tell everything here.

So bottom line for now is....that while extremely difficult for both Juli and Brian, the decision was made by them to end the sexual relationship that they have enjoyed with each other for so long.

Their relationship had naturally developed over 7 years of intimate contact, into a deeper relationship than any of us had foreseen when we first began in 2015.
Juli and Brian love each other. And the ending of their intimate relationship truly is akin to a divorce. A mutually amicable divorce, but the separation is as emotionally traumatic as most break-ups. It's been 6 months now since their last sex...and I've watched Juli go through the natural stages of mourning. Been difficult as a husband to watch frankly.

I always have appreciated the kind comments that I have received here. And again I will be glad to discuss more about the ending of our relationship with my wife's lover.

Mark

[Long Lurker 34]

CoHus

Other than the ending, of by all accounts, a truly great HW/BF, or in your case Co-Husband relationship, it's good to know you are well and otherwise ok.

I can certainly understand Juli being deflated, as it were. Just because the relationship was in the "LS" and especially one of the duration and depth she experienced, it doesn't take away from the emotions one would have when it comes to an end.

Others, Des31 comes to mind, have related that a situation such as this, no matter how good can only be expected to last for so long and this should be kept in mind.

Hopefully going forward, when the sharpness of the loss has dulled, Juli will once again be able or willing to venture out again. Though finding another situation such as this again will not be as easy thing to do, based on postings on the site.

One last thing. I hope to see you posting, here of course, but on other threads too, as I think you have some insight that others might benefit from. Also, ok two things, yours is a great thread which would be a shame to loose and after, six or twelve months it will fall off the board. Perhaps you would consider moving it to The Library where you can still post to it, so I understand and it will be around for longer.

All the best Mark & Juli.

Regards
LL34

[subtoall]

How sad for you all. I really loved reading about what you had together.

That said, I'm curious what the discussions regarding continuing "in a much deeper relationship with Brian" were like. What kinds of changes to the relationship was considered in going much deeper? Is this something you're willing to share with the forum?

[Mad Dog65]

Hi Mark,

I found your thread when I first joined OHW and have been an avid follower and have always appreciated your thoughtful posts about yours and Julie's journey. I too look forward to hearing more about how it all ended if you have time and inclination. Too often on OHW, we dont learn about the ending and the recovery of this kind very special of relationship. I and I think others would be very interested in hearing more.

[co-husband]

Hi Mark,

I found your thread when I first joined OHW and have been an avid follower and have always appreciated your thoughtful posts about yours and Julie's journey. I too look forward to hearing more about how it all ended if you have time and inclination. Too often on OHW, we dont learn about the ending and the recovery of this kind very special of relationship. I and I think others would be very interested in hearing more.

Thank you Mad Dog / Long Lurker and Subtoall....and all who asked for a reflection on our HW experience....

It really has been an amazing education in the lifestyle.
When we started I never dreamed that it would develop the way it did....and that it would last 7 years!
What began with me just wanting to experience how it felt to share my wife with another man...ended up being much more than just sharing her sexually.

When I first found the OHW forum and signed up, I chose the name "Co-Husband" simply because by that time Brian was already obviously in love with my wife...and he had even admitted such to her in person. What began as a fantasy ended in reality. Brian did become in effect a co-husband with me and was an intimate partner in our marriage.

Perhaps the details of how it all unfolded maybe was different than other couples who have done this, but that too is one lesson I learned from it. That each couple, each marriage, and each "boyfriend" is different and unique, So the wife-sharing experiences will all be unique too.

I'll try to keep this succinct and readable, so maybe if I provide some bullet points about what happened throughout and what I personally learned from the experience. When I started posting, some veterans of the lifestyle commented and cautioned about where this could end up.
At the time I confidently dismissed their advice as "not applying to me and Jul"...but looking back it was good advice and I think it's important for me to share what I have learned.

We all perhaps originally come to this site simply to get aroused from the "stories" that we read...but for anyone who actually delves into this lifestyle, it has deep effects on each person involved. It's more than just physical sex..it's also emotional relationships that develop.

1. So one lesson is that wives do typically and naturally have a more emotional involvement with their lover than the husband expects.
2. The emotional bonding grows steadily stronger over time. A multi-year relationship with a lover impacts the wife in ways much deeper than a short-term experience with another man.
3. Not only the wife grows more bonded to her boyfriend, but the boyfriend also bonds emotionally with the wife. The longer the relationship, the deeper this bond grows, and they truly do love each other.
4. This is why the longer it goes on...the harder it is for them to end the "intimate friend" relationship. It truly is akin to a divorce...at least emotionally.

5. For the husband, it's an interesting dichotomy.
On the one hand, allowing another man to have such intimate and private access to his wife is what makes the HW experience so erotic. It's like a sexual drug...the more a husband submits to the other man loving his wife, and being with her regularly and literally sleeping with her often in the marriage bed...is an indescribable arousal as a husband.

6. But also a time comes when the husband suddenly realizes that a line of no return as been crossed. He sees his wife's desire toward the boyfriend has equaled her desire for the husband. And in many ways surpasses it. Once that point is reached, it can never be undone.
(I saw Juli reach this point in 2018. She had gotten so attached to Brian that she wanted the relationship with him because she desired him...no longer simply having sex with him just for me to enjoy sharing her. But because she loved how it felt to be in his arms)

I think from that point the inevitable outcome is...1) Either the Hot Wife relationship with the boyfriend will end totally, or the marriage itself will end or be diminished to the point where the husband is no longer allowed intimate access to his wife.
They may remain legally married, but in, every other way she is also the BOYFRIEND'S wife.

7. Juli and I weathered this phase because of our long-term marriage. But a younger couple I think is at risk to taking the wife-sharing lifestyle for too long, At least if done with the same man.

I will write more later on these sujects,
I hope this has helped someone..or at least been interesting reading.
If you have specific questions about our personal experiences I will be glad to answer them tomorrow.

Mark

[4herpleasure89]

I agree with this assessment which is why I began to skid the breaks between 5&6. Like you, I have a long marriage with kids & grandkids. I also am financially very successful and he is not. My wife would not easily give any of this up but I knew some things had changed and I began to wake up from my erotic slumber.

[co-husband]

I agree with this assessment which is why I begin to skid the breaks between 5&6. Like you, I have a long marriage with kids & grandkids. I also and financially very successful and he is not. My wife would not easily give any of this up but I knew some things had changed and I began to wake up from my erotic slumber.

Thanks for sharing that. And it was my same experience exactly.
For many of the same reasons you mentioned...I never really feared for my marriage, Juli also has too much invested in a lifetime together.
But still it's an interesting experience to see that look on your wife's face that she does love another man as well as she loves you.

Mark

[PANTIES]

I don’t feel there’s any issues in our marriage, but like you stated they have bonded sexually. He has changed her appearance completely. I no longer sleep with her as I have been banished to the guest room. It is what it is.

Pauline

[co-husband]

I don’t feel there’s any issues in our marriage, but like you stated they have bonded sexually. He has changed her appearance completely. I no longer sleep with her as I have been banished to the guest room. It is what it is.

Pauline

Thanks Pauline...
I appreciate your reply.

I've been curious about the kind of arrangement that you have.
I have experienced sleeping in the guest bed while my wife's lover was with her in our marriage bed.
I know there are varying decrees of cuckoldry that husbands experience, and mine was not as permanent as yours sounds.
But I admit it did give me a very strong sense of sexual arousal to willingly give up my place in the marriage bed to another man, but for me it was only for one or two nights at a time. Then my wife and I slept together once again until his next visit.

Do you mind telling me how you feel about your situation? Are you aroused by it or has it gone farther to an extreme than you had expected or preferred?

Mark

[PANTIES]

I don’t feel there’s any issues in our marriage, but like you stated they have bonded sexually. He has changed her appearance completely. I no longer sleep with her as I have been banished to the guest room. It is what it is.

Pauline

Thanks Pauline...
I appreciate your reply.

I've been curious about the kind of arrangement that you have.
I have experienced sleeping in the guest bed while my wife's lover was with her in our marriage bed.
I know there are varying decrees of cuckoldry that husbands experience, and mine was not as permanent as yours sounds.
But I admit it did give me a very strong sense of sexual arousal to willingly give up my place in the marriage bed to another man, but for me it was only for one or two nights at a time. Then my wife and I slept together once again until his next visit.

Do you mind telling me how you feel about your situation? Are you aroused by it or has it gone farther to an extreme than you had expected or preferred?

Mark

Mark,

I had been sharing my wife with a dear friend as a FWB for several years. I have wanted to be feminine all my life but kept this desire to myself always appearing as an Alpha. I would introduce myself as the husband and our friend as husband number 1A. That would get all kinds of smiles and questions asking how does that work. I would just say, I share her with him.

I decided one day I had enough as life was too short so March 2019 to told my wife I wanted to be feminine. Then I asked her FWB to become the man in her life. Shortly after that I was face time with him and my wife came in to listen to my with him again in her presence to so there would be no confusion. I surrendered her to him and he accepted his new role.

My wife was wearing a skirt and she pulled it up to reveal she was not wear panties and told him tho is yours to have anywhere and anytime you want it. He told her, the first he’s doing is shaving her. He talked her into having her pussy laser treated with me paying for the treatment. So far she’s not had it done but the thought it there.

About a month later I was told to move into the extra bedroom. I cried for month. My estrogen usage was in high gear.I’ve been using. I’ve been there ever since.

When he visits, I leave the house until I get a text to come home. I find her nude on her bed, her pussy red and swollen leaking his cum. She will tell me to clean her, that’s the only time I see her pussy.

She had spent a month at his place and I don’t hear from her except to invite me to dinner. After dinner she will shower wearing fresh make up, tank top and g-string. She sits on his lap drinking from his glass. Then she tells me, they are tired and want to go to bed. She walks me to the door, saying “ this is what you wanted “

Last year he was going to take her to southern France for two months as he and his brother own a home there but covid put a stop to that idea.

The sexual bonding as you eluded is stronger than ever when he took over the male role in her life. I just glad she can’t get pregnant. There’s no doubt in my mind she would have happily had his baby.

Pauline

[tito123177]

I don’t feel there’s any issues in our marriage, but like you stated they have bonded sexually. He has changed her appearance completely. I no longer sleep with her as I have been banished to the guest room. It is what it is.

Pauline

Thanks Pauline...
I appreciate your reply.

I've been curious about the kind of arrangement that you have.
I have experienced sleeping in the guest bed while my wife's lover was with her in our marriage bed.
I know there are varying decrees of cuckoldry that husbands experience, and mine was not as permanent as yours sounds.
But I admit it did give me a very strong sense of sexual arousal to willingly give up my place in the marriage bed to another man, but for me it was only for one or two nights at a time. Then my wife and I slept together once again until his next visit.

Do you mind telling me how you feel about your situation? Are you aroused by it or has it gone farther to an extreme than you had expected or preferred?

Mark

Mark,

I had been sharing my wife with a dear friend as a FWB for several years. I have wanted to be feminine all my life but kept this desire to myself always appearing as an Alpha. I would introduce myself as the husband and our friend as husband number 1A. That would get all kinds of smiles and questions asking how does that work. I would just say, I share her with him.

I decided one day I had enough as life was too short so March 2019 to told my wife I wanted to be feminine. Then I asked her FWB to become the man in her life. Shortly after that I was face time with him and my wife came in to listen to my with him again in her presence to so there would be no confusion. I surrendered her to him and he accepted his new role.

My wife was wearing a skirt and she pulled it up to reveal she was not wear panties and told him tho is yours to have anywhere and anytime you want it. He told her, the first he’s doing is shaving her. He talked her into having her pussy laser treated with me paying for the treatment. So far she’s not had it done but the thought it there.

About a month later I was told to move into the extra bedroom. I cried for month. My estrogen usage was in high gear.I’ve been using. I’ve been there ever since.

When he visits, I leave the house until I get a text to come home. I find her nude on her bed, her pussy red and swollen leaking his cum. She will tell me to clean her, that’s the only time I see her pussy.

She had spent a month at his place and I don’t hear from her except to invite me to dinner. After dinner she will shower wearing fresh make up, tank top and g-string. She sits on his lap drinking from his glass. Then she tells me, they are tired and want to go to bed. She walks me to the door, saying “ this is what you wanted “

Last year he was going to take her to southern France for two months as he and his brother own a home there but covid put a stop to that idea.

The sexual bonding as you eluded is stronger than ever when he took over the male role in her life. I just glad she can’t get pregnant. There’s no doubt in my mind she would have happily had his baby.

Pauline

Wow that is intense!, aside from becoming feminine that's something I would love to do, letting another man becoming her main partner, they falling in love, the idea of she living with him for a month or more makes me very horny.

[PANTIES]

It was a long month ad I only heard from her when I was invited to dinner. That happened on two occasions. Both times I took flowers and a bottle of wine.

Pauline

[Coolcalm]

Bump

[co-husband]

It certainly has been a very long time since I have posted here. Much has changed even since my last post.

Brian has now been remarried for almost a year.
Unfortunately Juli developed an illness 6 months ago which has caused her to decline physically to a critical point.
She and I have not had sex in 5 months. She is just not physically able.

Emotionally she never really recovered from losing Brian. She loves him deeply and perhaps that emotional trauma has contributed to her physical decline. It's not the cause, but I think has weakened her ability to advance her recovery.

I'll be glad to answer questions. And will try to keep everyone informed here as well.

Mark

[Tbcpl001]

Co-husband

First, let me say that I sincerely hope your wife’s health improves. I’ll add her to my prayers.

Second, your story of transition was fabulous. My boxers were soaked as I read your tale. I hope the person that planned the book brings it to fruition.

Thank you for sharing.

[Guhunkadorn]

Ditto the previous post.

Why did Brian's first wife leave him? ( He seems like he's a 'great' guy )

Are you still in communication with Brian?

Godspeed!

[Guhunkadorn]

I was just re-reading and saw why his first wife left him.

So I am the age you where when you began this journalizing. It's great that you and Julie made a point to have your 5:00 PM sex at least 3 days/week. Something for me to think about for my own marriage; we are not sexless by any means, but nowhere near that frequency. ( an obstacle for us is two special needs teenagers )

I hope you two can get back to something resembling that sex schedule after Julie gets her health back.

[co-husband]

Ditto the previous post.

Why did Brian's first wife leave him? ( He seems like he's a 'great' guy )

Are you still in communication with Brian?

Godspeed!

I'll just say his first marriage didn't work out..and he was hurt by their divorce.
That was one reason that Juli (being the kind person that she is) agreed to have sex with Brian when I asked her to help him out.

I do still communicate with Brian and keep him informed about Juli. He offered to travel to where we live to see her. And to encourage her to recover from her illness.
I think he might sometime in January.

Mark

[Mad Dog65]

Thank you Mark for sharing your update and wishing Julie a strong recovery. Do take care Mark and get the support you need as well!

[nevertoolate]

A swift recovery for your dear wife. Thank you for checking in. You are often in my thoughts.

[Des 31]

I posted this here mainly to get some feedback. As I said I'm fairly new to this lifestyle but I love the intensity of it. I truly have never been upset to know that another man is actually in love with my wife. In fact it's a huge turn on for me to share my wife with him so intimately.

. . .

Mark

I think about one out of six men who have fucked my wife has fallen in love - in varying degrees - with her. That's a turn-on for me too. The expression between them is often, "I love you," and I'm sure that emotional reaction is even most sincere when the sex is hot. Each of us considers ourselves to have a solid marriage, so that has never been a problem for us.

[D+D]

Co-husband, update please about Julie. Has Brian been to see her? How is his marriage going?

[co-husband]

Co-husband, update please about Julie. Has Brian been to see her? How is his marriage going?

Hi D+D,
Juli's health has actually seemed to stabilize the last week - 10 days.
No more decline that I can tell. So that's encouraging.
Brian was indeed with us last week for 3 days. He flew in to visit Juli and to encourage her to get better.
She truly seemed to be lifted by his visit.

His marriage is still good and he has told his wife about his relationship with us. He told me he didn't share all of the details with his wife, simply told her that we had a "three-way, polyamorous relationship for a few years." He said his wife took it well and did encourage him to come visit Juli since she has not been in good health.

I purposely gave them a lot of time to be alone together...partly to allow myself some time away from being a full time caregiver, so I went out often while he was here...and also of course to give him alone time with our shared wife. So his visit was good for all of us, especially for Juli.

Mark

[D+D]

Co-husband, update please about Julie. Has Brian been to see her? How is his marriage going?

Hi D+D,
Juli's health has actually seemed to stabilize the last week - 10 days.
No more decline that I can tell. So that's encouraging.
Brian was indeed with us last week for 3 days. He flew in to visit Juli and to encourage her to get better.
She truly seemed to be lifted by his visit.

His marriage is still good and he has told his wife about his relationship with us. He told me he didn't share all of the details with his wife, simply told her that we had a "three-way, polyamorous relationship for a few years." He said his wife took it well and did encourage him to come visit Juli since she has not been in good health.

I purposely gave them a lot of time to be alone together...partly to allow myself some time away from being a full time caregiver, so I went out often while he was here...and also of course to give him alone time with our shared wife. So his visit was good for all of us, especially for Juli.

Mark

I so hope she gets better. I’m sorry for her that she lost Brian. It’s too bad that it couldn’t have worked out so she could have you both.

[co-husband]

Co-husband, update please about Julie. Has Brian been to see her? How is his marriage going?

Hi D+D,
Juli's health has actually seemed to stabilize the last week - 10 days.
No more decline that I can tell. So that's encouraging.
Brian was indeed with us last week for 3 days. He flew in to visit Juli and to encourage her to get better.
She truly seemed to be lifted by his visit.

His marriage is still good and he has told his wife about his relationship with us. He told me he didn't share all of the details with his wife, simply told her that we had a "three-way, polyamorous relationship for a few years." He said his wife took it well and did encourage him to come visit Juli since she has not been in good health.

I purposely gave them a lot of time to be alone together...partly to allow myself some time away from being a full time caregiver, so I went out often while he was here...and also of course to give him alone time with our shared wife. So his visit was good for all of us, especially for Juli.

Mark

I so hope she gets better. I’m sorry for her that she lost Brian. It’s too bad that it couldn’t have worked out so she could have you both.

Thank you.
They did share some intimate time together during his visit.
I purposely didn't ask them for details. But he slept in bed with Juli the nights that he was here.

Mark