Hotwives who want more than just the sex

[Christinebitg]

In experience the phrase "just the sex" doesn't fully describe any actual experience we have ever had - well, except maybe one!

" ... Seeing her grow close to him emotionally makes me also feel like I’m fucking someone’s girlfriend so I think every stag has a little bull in them too." (My emphasis)

::twisted:

It's much more complicated, I'm sure - but I love fucking her "for us" after she has enjoyed letting some other attractive and interesting guy use her adventurous pussy -

For us, it works a little differently. It makes me feel more like I'm one of her girlfriends. Which is a thrill for me, to be honest. But we don't have penetrative sex anyway, for a variety of reasons, and oral sex only on rare occasions.

[Breakerhymen]

Agreed. I'm looking for friend with benefits. If there isn't at least a basic affection it leaves me feeling empty. But I wouldn't call it poly.

What exactly are you looking for? Do tell!!!

[dinoo]

=zorro post_id=72975 time=1228315045 user_id=133]
How many hotwives out there have found that after a while just having sex with other men is not enough and they want to have deeper, more emotional relationships with other men than hubby? In other words, for how many want more than just the sex?

You mean, more emotional relationships with other men than ALONE hubby. I guess.

I can't imagine that a more emotional relationship is impossible.
Or in other words, it can happen like in vanilla live. If a relationship between a couple is strong enough, it will not harm the bond they have. At least, that is my vision.

When I moved to another town to study at an university, I wanted to cut the relationship with my girlfriend, my future wife to be. My wife to become could imagine that I wanted to be free and answered "that this was a bad reason to finish our relationship.” So we didn't.
It was hard for her because I told her always about my "playgirls". And I think this was the real reason that we got so much trust in each other.

In the beginning of our marriage, she told me to have cut with a doctor to become: a co-assistant at the hospital.
I asked her why?
"Because I feel much more secure with you" she answered.
I never asked her more about this relationship. Never, because I thought it was her life.

In our HW-relationship I told my wife more times that it wouldn’t bother me if she would get emotional feelings, a common, natural and human thing. As long as our marriage wouldn't suffer under it, I always added. If she would feel that an another relationship would become dangerous for our marriage, than she would break with that lover.
Of course I was very well aware that this condition wasn't a guarantee at all for our marriage but I had much confidence in her.

In the period of our HW-lifestyle, she had two steady lovers with whom she did it unprotected. So, I thought she had developed other feelings.
About one, a colored man, she always said she didn't love him but liked to have sensual sex with him.
However, with her steady white lover, it is quite a different story.

It happened in what became "our" club.
After putting his huge and always unprotected cock into her pussy, which I wasn’t aware of, she beckoned me to come near.
She told me she loved him and that was why she put his cock into her pussy. I had to know.
She asked me to kiss her as proof I hadn't any objection to it. Of course I didn’t have so I kissed her. While kissing her she embraced me and at the same time started to ride his cock. When her orgasm announced itself, she asked me to hold her tight. “I want to cum while being in your arms. Show me how much you love me.”
In vain she tried to kiss me. She was jumping too hard but could fix her eyes to mine after I took her head in my hands. Not for long. Her orgasm was too heavy.

When he had to leave, she crawled up to me.
(Shortened version)
"You have to know I developed these other feelings to him. I really love him.”
Pause.
“You always told me not to hide my deeper feelings to another person. So I'm very pleased that you kissed me therefor. Cumming with my head in your hands, was very emotional.”
A pause.
“Having sex with him is exceptional. A better lover is almost unthinkable, I have to confess. Kiss me again if you can accept him in our, so far, wonderful life. It will become even more beautiful. I promise. I will do everything to show you what it means to be really your and his HW.“
Tongue kissing her for some five minutes followed. I wanted to let her know how happy I was for her.

From then on she felt completely liberated. Fully enjoying to be a HW for him. Enjoying every second of it.
And our marriage? That became even stronger because I became her “confessor”. She told me everything, her inner thoughts also. F.e., when I asked her what she would do if he would take her anally, she answered:
“I dreamed about it, how it would feel to have his huge dick in my ass. However, his dick is so huge. So exercises must precede it. It will take a while to get there. And you will be my trainer.”

Dinoo

[SailorGuy]

I always wanted my wife to have another lover. It was a rich passionate fantasy for a long time; then out of the blue my fantasy was fulfilled by a neighbor. An Alpha who took my wife by storm. That relationship lasted a long time, but there was something about it that bothered my wife, and that was she didn't love him, and she had always had to feel love before becoming lovers with someone. It was a great rush for her to have such a powerful physical relationship with Tom, and she may well have stayed with him longer if she had not met Joel. Joel got a hold of her heart, and that's all it took for her to break up with Tom and become lovers with Joel.
As I've written before, my wife and I became celibate with each other years ago when Tom demanded it. He was by far the better lover, and it was an easy choice for my wife. And I was thrilled to discover I loved going from hotwifing to cuckolding.
Now with Joel the dynamic is quite a bit different. For one he is older - in his mid-70s - and is not an Alpha but a Beta like me. But the key to my wife's heart ( and vagina ) is a quiet tenderness that Joel presents to her. The problem for me now is that I no longer have the thrilling cuckold experience Tom provide for us. Tom was all Alpha and had a big cock and knew how to please a woman in bed. My wife's stories of their lovemaking aroused the hell out of me. But this doesn't work with Joel. He's no sexual dynamo, nor is he very physically attractive. Like me he is on the short end of "average" down there and also like me he can't always rise to the occasion. But my wife is totally in love with him and so lives with him ( about 100 miles away ) as much as possible.
I have met him and like him just fine.
The question is: what is my evolution here? I still want the thrill of being cuckolded but my wife won't tell me stories about her and Joel, and we both know they wouldn't work anyway. I'm still pleased when she is away at is house, still a bit aroused just knowing "my wife is at her lover's house".
Yes she still "loves" me, but we sleep in separate bedrooms and have absolutely zero physical contact. I need to transition from cuckolding to polyamory I guess? But how?

[Christinebitg]

The question is: what is my evolution here? I still want the thrill of being cuckolded but my wife won't tell me stories about her and Joel, and we both know they wouldn't work anyway. I'm still pleased when she is away at is house, still a bit aroused just knowing "my wife is at her lover's house".
Yes she still "loves" me, but we sleep in separate bedrooms and have absolutely zero physical contact. I need to transition from cuckolding to polyamory I guess? But how?

The first thing I would say is that you already have made that transition. You're already in that kind of relationship with her. She is already intimate with him emotionally.

What other changes would you see that would constitute poly instead of cuckoldry?

[Nowayareyousure]

In our HW-relationship I told my wife more times that it wouldn’t bother me if she would get emotional feelings, a common, natural and human thing. As long as our marriage wouldn't suffer under it, I always added. If she would feel that an another relationship would become dangerous for our marriage, than she would break with that lover.
Of course I was very well aware that this condition wasn't a guarantee at all for our marriage but I had much confidence in her.

Wow. This is just amazing Dinoo. If and when we every travel further down the road I hope we can have something as special as what you had. It sounds amazing for both sides of the marriage. Oh..and amazing for the single guys! :-)

[dinoo]

Wow. This is just amazing Dinoo. If and when we every travel further down the road I hope we can have something as special as what you had. It sounds amazing for both sides of the marriage. Oh..and amazing for the single guys! :-)

Well good luck.
Take into account that having trust in each other and an open communication is a basic condition.
And of course NO jealously at all. On the contrary. (It is named compersion.)

Special? Yes, it was because my wife and I had a very strong bond.
It sounds strange but I was really happy for her having another man she loved.

I can remember very well that the three of us went to the (very crowded) bar to take a drink.
My wife asked us what we liked to drink. But before she suddenly squatted and, surrounded by this crowd, gave him a BJ.
When she left, this guy (a steady one who was married) told me that my wife was the most erotic and hottest woman he ever met in this club.
(A club we visited each month on the nudist evening.)
"A bonus for me is, he said, that you gave her the complete freedom. You can be proud of yourself and your exceptional wife."

Dinoo

[Des 31]

I think my 35-year-old wife's emotional bonding with other men is probably typical of many others. She has become attached to several men in the time she has been having extramarital sex with others since age 28.

Even most in this way of life don't know the medical reasons for that coming about. Seminal fluid, which makes up about 70% of semen, causes many outcomes beyond that of reproduction. Anyone can research this through googling online. Seminal fluid enters the bloodstream and ultimately makes its way to the brain. Researchers have found it causes women to want to go to sleep after sex and can reduce depression among other advantages. But more importantly to my wife is that it creates an emotional bonding with men who are fucking her, particularly after repeated sexual unions.

This can be confused with what most refer to as "love," a term with many meanings. It isn't the same as that a woman experiences in a successful marriage, but some women confuse the feelings with just that. Knowledge of these physical and emotional effects can be a barrier against recreational sex becoming a problem in a marriage.

More is available on that topic in many online articles; but when this information has been shared here in the past, one particular member who claims a scientific background, attacked the posting as a fantasy. If that member again shows up after this posting, look it up and decide for yourself. Medical researchers have concluded these results of sex without condoms, or other means of avoiding the insertion of seminal fluid into the vagina, to be factual and undeniable.

Many women require condoms of their various partners anyway; my wife has had a tubal ligation and prefers her men wear no condoms, which is fine with me. She has avoided STDs simply through common-sense caution in choosing her men carefully.

~ Des

[Christinebitg]

I think my 35-year-old wife's emotional bonding with other men is probably typical of many others. She has become attached to several men in the time she has been having extramarital sex with others since age 28.

Even most in this way of life don't know the medical reasons for that coming about. Seminal fluid, which makes up about 70% of semen, causes many outcomes beyond that of reproduction. Anyone can research this through googling online. Seminal fluid enters the bloodstream and ultimately makes its way to the brain. Researchers have found it causes women to want to go to sleep after sex and can reduce depression among other advantages. But more importantly to my wife is that it creates an emotional bonding with men who are fucking her, particularly after repeated sexual unions.

My personal opinion is that the so-called "research" is nonsense. Seminal fluid does not cross the blood brain barrier. More likely, there are a couple of other things at work.

First, there's the release of oxytocin, the so-called love hormone. It's known to be released by your human body during orgasm. It also makes you sleepy. No surprise there, of course.

Second, there's probably a significant psychological aspect for your wife when a partner ejaculates nside her. The key word there is "psychological." That doesn't mean it's not real. But it's not caused by seminal fluid reaching her brain.

If the semen were itself causing the emotional reaction, you would not see that happening for women who use condoms 100% of the time.

[aaardvarky]

For those that are interested in the emotional dynamic of a poly relationship I have sought to capture the essence as I see it in my storyline ‘From Norway with love on the ‘Library’ forum. I would be interested in your critique if you have a moment to comment?

[Minnhotwife]

Hi all,

To quote so many wise men and women here, be careful what you ask for. My wife has been seeing other guys on a regular basis since the fall of 2020.

It’s been a slow decrease in our sex life and exponential increases in her being with other men. Probably at least 15 since we started opening up our marriage. While most have come and gone, she has 2-3 regular lovers and is growing more attached emotionally to several of them. So much so, she has ordered and is reading books on polyamory. (Must be an interesting search on her Amazon account)

At first she was dead set against any type of polyamory (actually scoffed at it and thought it too bizarre) but now she is on the verge of moving towards being in a relationship with another man. I never thought my wife would come to embrace having another man she loves but I think we are close to this situation. And these guys are both fantastic lovers who are more in sync with my wife’s preferences in many ways. She sees her main boyfriend as much as she can and has already done overnights with him and has another one planned in a month or so. Honestly, it's both hot and scary.

So, please make sure to remember relationships change and you need to be open to your hotwife developing emotional as well as physical bonds with her lovers. My wife is really interested in pursuing emotional connections instead of just FWB or swinging and made it very clear to me.

[Whosbeensleeping]

Amazing post. Thanks very much, Minnhotwife!
Edit: Looked again at her pics, and your wife's loveliness is quite something. Makes my heart beat faster for sure!

[Minnhotwife]

Amazing post. Thanks very much, Minnhotwife!
Edit: Looked again at her pics, and your wife's loveliness is quite something. Makes my heart beat faster for sure!

You're welcome and thank you for the nice words, too!


Did you see these pics, too?

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=26401&p=1291128&hil ... e#p1291128

[Whosbeensleeping]

Amazing post. Thanks very much, Minnhotwife!
Edit: Looked again at her pics, and your wife's loveliness is quite something. Makes my heart beat faster for sure!

You're welcome and thank you for the nice words, too!


Did you see these pics, too?

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=26401&p=1291128&hil ... e#p1291128

A gorgeous bottom!

[anonymister1948]

Hi all,

To quote so many wise men and women here, be careful what you ask for. My wife has been seeing other guys on a regular basis since the fall of 2020.

It’s been a slow decrease in our sex life and exponential increases in her being with other men. Probably at least 15 since we started opening up our marriage. While most have come and gone, she has 2-3 regular lovers and is growing more attached emotionally to several of them. So much so, she has ordered and is reading books on polyamory. (Must be an interesting search on her Amazon account)

At first she was dead set against any type of polyamory (actually scoffed at it and thought it too bizarre) but now she is on the verge of moving towards being in a relationship with another man. I never thought my wife would come to embrace having another man she loves but I think we are close to this situation. And these guys are both fantastic lovers who are more in sync with my wife’s preferences in many ways. She sees her main boyfriend as much as she can and has already done overnights with him and has another one planned in a month or so. Honestly, it's both hot and scary.

So, please make sure to remember relationships change and you need to be open to your hotwife developing emotional as well as physical bonds with her lovers. My wife is really interested in pursuing emotional connections instead of just FWB or swinging and made it very clear to me.

Given how this post starts, I wonder how YOU feel about being in a poly marriage? It sounds like it's not been that great so far in terms of your intimacy with your wife. If she's not giving you what you need in this marriage something is wrong. And that can lead to what is called in the poly world transitioning away but what others call divorce. How do you see your place in all this? And if she's going to be poly, where does that leave you in terms of being with other women?

[Minnhotwife]

Hi all,

To quote so many wise men and women here, be careful what you ask for. My wife has been seeing other guys on a regular basis since the fall of 2020.

It’s been a slow decrease in our sex life and exponential increases in her being with other men. Probably at least 15 since we started opening up our marriage. While most have come and gone, she has 2-3 regular lovers and is growing more attached emotionally to several of them. So much so, she has ordered and is reading books on polyamory. (Must be an interesting search on her Amazon account)

At first she was dead set against any type of polyamory (actually scoffed at it and thought it too bizarre) but now she is on the verge of moving towards being in a relationship with another man. I never thought my wife would come to embrace having another man she loves but I think we are close to this situation. And these guys are both fantastic lovers who are more in sync with my wife’s preferences in many ways. She sees her main boyfriend as much as she can and has already done overnights with him and has another one planned in a month or so. Honestly, it's both hot and scary.

So, please make sure to remember relationships change and you need to be open to your hotwife developing emotional as well as physical bonds with her lovers. My wife is really interested in pursuing emotional connections instead of just FWB or swinging and made it very clear to me.

Given how this post starts, I wonder how YOU feel about being in a poly marriage? It sounds like it's not been that great so far in terms of your intimacy with your wife. If she's not giving you what you need in this marriage something is wrong. And that can lead to what is called in the poly world transitioning away but what others call divorce. How do you see your place in all this? And if she's going to be poly, where does that leave you in terms of being with other women?

Good post and points anonymister1948!

You're right. It's been a very hard transition at times from monogamy to hotwife to open marriage to now moving towards poly. The monogamy ship has sailed and the Titanic has a better shot of reaching port again.

As Jessica Fern says, I am feeling more poly secure. To be honest, I have screwed up often as we transitioned to opening up and so has my wife. But I accept her for who she is and love our differences. I'm placing my desire for regular sex as a goal to work on while move into polyamory. I have much to learn from her former and current lovers on how to approach and pleasure my wife. My wife's boyfriends are now the experts on seducing, fucking, exploring, and dominating my wife and I can either learn how to be a better lover for her or accept the results and go from there. Why would I deny her this happiness and sexual/emotional satisfaction? Opening our marriage has really causes big changes in my wife from her wardrobe to working out more and her confidence in her body and now fully waxing her pubic hair. New toys as well as sexual adventure!!

My role has been made clear by myself and my wife. I can be okay with having about the same amount of sex with my wife as she has with other lovers and sometimes just go for quality over quantity. Or we can also go the full hotwife stag/cuck route and if so, I have plenty of support with guys on OHW to help and support me with this transition to being okay barely having sex with my wife. If I push too hard, she will find other guys for MFM, dungeon visits, and sex clubs/resorts.

And I have full consent to have sex with other women, too and already have done so with several women. It would free me up to also date and potentially have a deep emotional relationship with another woman. She should be afraid of me in this case finding another really hot woman who wants me for herself.

[tito123177]

Hi all,

To quote so many wise men and women here, be careful what you ask for. My wife has been seeing other guys on a regular basis since the fall of 2020.

It’s been a slow decrease in our sex life and exponential increases in her being with other men. Probably at least 15 since we started opening up our marriage. While most have come and gone, she has 2-3 regular lovers and is growing more attached emotionally to several of them. So much so, she has ordered and is reading books on polyamory. (Must be an interesting search on her Amazon account)

At first she was dead set against any type of polyamory (actually scoffed at it and thought it too bizarre) but now she is on the verge of moving towards being in a relationship with another man. I never thought my wife would come to embrace having another man she loves but I think we are close to this situation. And these guys are both fantastic lovers who are more in sync with my wife’s preferences in many ways. She sees her main boyfriend as much as she can and has already done overnights with him and has another one planned in a month or so. Honestly, it's both hot and scary.

So, please make sure to remember relationships change and you need to be open to your hotwife developing emotional as well as physical bonds with her lovers. My wife is really interested in pursuing emotional connections instead of just FWB or swinging and made it very clear to me.

That is nice! I would love for my wife to have a steady boyfriend who she is in love with, when I discovered the world of cuckolding I only wanted for her to have sex only sessions with no emotional connection, but with the pass of years my cuckolding desires have grown, and now I really want her to be in love with another man and do couple things with him, the more romantic the more exciting it is for me, I hope someday I can sleep in the couch while they sleep together and in the morning I make them breakfast while they fuck with the door closed.

[Minnhotwife]

Excellent replies everyone. We are officially poly as my wife is in love with another man. She has planned out dates with him and they are not simply in it just for sex. Still sorting through my feelings but am okay with it and happy for her.

I’ll keep anyone up to date who wants to know how it progresses over the next few months or maybe years?

I love my wife and very happy to be with her. Excited to take this journey into something beyond FWB or even a stag/cuck dynamic.

[tito123177]

Excellent replies everyone. We are officially poly as my wife is in love with another man. She has planned out dates with him and they are not simply in it just for sex. Still sorting through my feelings but am okay with it and happy for her.

I’ll keep anyone up to date who wants to know how it progresses over the next few months or maybe years?

I love my wife and very happy to be with her. Excited to take this journey into something beyond FWB or even a stag/cuck dynamic.

Congratulations! I'll be happy to know how your relationship progress.

[00rdster]

We've also changed over the course of our journey. My wife actually exchanged rings with her boyfriend/lover. She wears it most of the time and all the time they're together. They are spending the day together right now planning a trip to Mexico where they will have a commitment ceremony. I couldn't be more excited.

[Minnhotwife]

Excellent replies everyone. We are officially poly as my wife is in love with another man. She has planned out dates with him and they are not simply in it just for sex. Still sorting through my feelings but am okay with it and happy for her.

I’ll keep anyone up to date who wants to know how it progresses over the next few months or maybe years?

I love my wife and very happy to be with her. Excited to take this journey into something beyond FWB or even a stag/cuck dynamic.

Congratulations! I'll be happy to know how your relationship progress.

Thanks Tito123177!

I will keep you and others up to date. Scary and exciting!

[Minnhotwife]

We've also changed over the course of our journey. My wife actually exchanged rings with her boyfriend/lover. She wears it most of the time and all the time they're together. They are spending the day together right now planning a trip to Mexico where they will have a commitment ceremony. I couldn't be more excited.

Thanks for sharing! That’s some commitment.

I don’t think we will get to that point but excited to see how our poly marriage progresses.

[00rdster]

We've also changed over the course of our journey. My wife actually exchanged rings with her boyfriend/lover. She wears it most of the time and all the time they're together. They are spending the day together right now planning a trip to Mexico where they will have a commitment ceremony. I couldn't be more excited.

Thanks for sharing! That’s some commitment.

I don’t think we will get to that point but excited to see how our poly marriage progresses.

It's always interesting to see the different paths everybody follows here.

[Long Lurker 34]

We've also changed over the course of our journey. My wife actually exchanged rings with her boyfriend/lover. She wears it most of the time and all the time they're together. They are spending the day together right now planning a trip to Mexico where they will have a commitment ceremony. I couldn't be more excited.

Thanks for sharing! That’s some commitment.

I don’t think we will get to that point but excited to see how our poly marriage progresses.

It's always interesting to see the different paths everybody follows here.

OO

That is quite the committed arrangement you have evolved to. Is there any chance to could post, in your own thread, how you and your wife started down this path and how you got to where you are? I'm more than sure there will be interest.

[Minnhotwife]

For the other guys here with poly wives/gfs, should we create another thread, private PM group, or simply friend each other for support and sharing of experiences?

You have my consent to add me as a friend here on OHW.