I think my wife might be open to playing, but I'm too shy

[bennyblanco99]

Wife and I are both in our mid 40s, together since mid 20s. I've felt so turned on for so many years thinking about sharing my wife with a better lover.

A few months ago, we were in bed making out and out of the blue, my wife said "don't leave marks, my boyfriend won't like that." I was stunned and insanely turned on. We had great sex - she and I exchanged a few barbs about this "bf" and that was that. Never mentioned again.

A few months after that, she told me about being hit on a coffee shop earlier in the day. She was reading a book and the guy apparently approached her to tell her she was beautiful and was asked her for details about the book. He asked to take a photo of the book cover so he could read it later. He did so and continued to compliment my wife. Nothing came of it, she had to get back to work and left. I asked her about it more a few nights later.. if the guy was good looking, she said yes. Was she turned on that a guy was hitting on her. She said of course, who wouldnt? It was nice. That was pretty much that, I never asked more and she never told me anything else.

A couple weeks ago, she had to find a new masseuse and told me she was going to try this guy at the clinic. Later that night she mentioned that she really hoped this guy hand big, strong hands. She told me he was black and looked pretty big in the photos she saw - not that it mattered. So she has the massage and when I get home ask about it. She says it was pretty good.. the guy found a really good spot in her neck and working it out. That was about it. The next night, I might have mentioned something about the massage and she said "he was so big, like a football player" and sort of giggled. She then said "Honestly, he was gorgeous.. like, ridiculous" and giggled some more. She said he had really soft hands and they were big.. felt good. She said he wasn't the greatest but ranked him pretty high up. She'll probably see him again.

So yea, I keep thinking about this stuff and knowing how I feel it is driving me insane. I really don't think my wife would be into the hotwife/cuck scenarios, but when I think about the above items, I start to wonder. I sort of was thinking I'd lie and tell her I had an explicit/intimate dream about the male massage guy and her and see how she reacts.

Any suggestions or advice on the above? Would be welcome and appreciated.

[snoogaloo82]

Maybe the next time you two have sex you can role play and be the masseuse. Or better yet just tell her of your fantasy of her having sex with other guys. I'm sure there are other opinions on here. Do what you think best and that which you're most comfortable with.

[snoogaloo82]

Wife and I are both in our mid 40s, together since mid 20s. I've felt so turned on for so many years thinking about sharing my wife with a better lover.

A few months ago, we were in bed making out and out of the blue, my wife said "don't leave marks, my boyfriend won't like that." I was stunned and insanely turned on. We had great sex - she and I exchanged a few barbs about this "bf" and that was that. Never mentioned again.

A few months after that, she told me about being hit on a coffee shop earlier in the day. She was reading a book and the guy apparently approached her to tell her she was beautiful and was asked her for details about the book. He asked to take a photo of the book cover so he could read it later. He did so and continued to compliment my wife. Nothing came of it, she had to get back to work and left. I asked her about it more a few nights later.. if the guy was good looking, she said yes. Was she turned on that a guy was hitting on her. She said of course, who wouldnt? It was nice. That was pretty much that, I never asked more and she never told me anything else.

A couple weeks ago, she had to find a new masseuse and told me she was going to try this guy at the clinic. Later that night she mentioned that she really hoped this guy hand big, strong hands. She told me he was black and looked pretty big in the photos she saw - not that it mattered. So she has the massage and when I get home ask about it. She says it was pretty good.. the guy found a really good spot in her neck and working it out. That was about it. The next night, I might have mentioned something about the massage and she said "he was so big, like a football player" and sort of giggled. She then said "Honestly, he was gorgeous.. like, ridiculous" and giggled some more. She said he had really soft hands and they were big.. felt good. She said he wasn't the greatest but ranked him pretty high up. She'll probably see him again.

So yea, I keep thinking about this stuff and knowing how I feel it is driving me insane. I really don't think my wife would be into the hotwife/cuck scenarios, but when I think about the above items, I start to wonder. I sort of was thinking I'd lie and tell her I had an explicit/intimate dream about the male massage guy and her and see how she reacts.

Any suggestions or advice on the above? Would be welcome and appreciated.

Maybe the next time you two have sex you can role play and be the masseuse. Or better yet just tell her of your fantasy of her having sex with other guys. I'm sure there are other opinions on here. Do what you think best and that which you're most comfortable with.

[curiouschattycouple]

Yes, take it slow. We have been dancing with the idea for years and are almost there, but it took awhile for us to both seriously consider the idea, work out the ground rules, and plan the logistics for when the moment comes. YMMV of course.

[SilverStag]

She's your wife! Talk to her. Guessing and hinting seldom work out. If you read much here you will frequently see "communicate, communicate, communicate"

[Carlas husband]

“The idea of you having sex with another man turns me on. Can we talk about it?”

[philxxo]

If she is telling you that she finds some other men attractive, then I would run with that. She may be hinting to you, or maybe just wants to share with you because she feels comfortable doing so. Either way I think it's great. I love it when my wife tells me she saw a cute guy. Sometimes she even gets giddy with happiness about it. The best thing to do, is next time she talks like that, you could let her know that it really turns you on thinking about her with another man. Go from there. You can use the dream route if you want plausible deniability, but I don't think it is necessary. Even if she reacts negatively and thinks you are a total pervert, she isn't going to leave you. I haven't read a story on here yet where that happened. She may react negatively at first, as most do, but based on what you say, she may warm up to the idea quickly. She may accuse you of trying to get rid of her, wanting to have sex with other women, not loving her, etc. So have the right answers for all of that. Be prepared to tell her why it's a turn on for you, and how it would be something you are doing together as a couple. Make sure you want this, because fantasy and reality can be quite different. And also she likely will be in the driver's seat and not you.

[bennyblanco99]

@philxxo Thank you for that really detailed reply. I need to do some studying and really understand the right way to answer her inevitable questions and doubts. Much appreciated.