Wife shocks me with BBC...Ch.2.Admits to more

[funfortwo]

My wife has admitted that she would not be able to have sex with her BF with me present. For her, she believes that she wouldn't be able to relax and be herself because she would worry about me rather than focusing on the moment. She has asked me if I ever wanted it to happen, and honestly, I'm not sure. In some ways it would be exciting to watch it happen but, in another way, it would be somewhat awkward. It's really our journey, but she is the person in control of it because it's primarily about her. We've had a few moments when I get to the hotel when he leaves, and she is unsure how to act. We've tended to talk about the entire date, from beginning to end, and finish with the sexual portions last. We've talked about it, and she is so concerned about how I will react and have now decided to go right to the sexual discussion, reclaim her and head to dinner to discuss the date and the deeper discussions about feelings or whatnot. I have received a few videos from her and encourage her to take more of them to help me visualize her experience. She has been a bit reluctant to take them for discretion and wondering how her BF would feel/react. I have assured her that he would eagerly participate in videos if his face isn't showing and they're on her phone. Right now, that's the plan but we take it day to day without worrying about the future plans too much.

Thanks for sharing and extremely well put. I agree with you sentiment.
I could definitely see that scenario unfolding for us as well. Love the idea of reclaiming then discussing more after.

She likes to have me part of it when we talk in fantasy and I like the idea of being there, but in reality I imagine all of us would be more comfortable with just her and him having their time alone.

I do think part of her being unsure is probably because she knows that is the likely scenario and I wouldn't be involved and she's probably worried I won't enjoy that.

I've tried to remind her that it's best she do it alone, especially initially... But my guess is if it does happen that's how it will continue as well, if it continues.

I think I would definitely be okay with that as long as there is lots of talking about it and hopefully getting videos as well.

I think at some point I will stress this a bit more If and when the timing's right.
[/quote]

We've been at this for a relatively short period of time but, I've held this fantasy for a LONG time. It took a lot of discussion over the years to get to where we are. Even though we've started to play, we still have plenty to discuss and work through. It's been a lot of ups and downs, especially after the first encounter. We continue to talk, and she reassures me that I am her number one priority. That said, sometimes angst/jealously/insecurity creep in (I am not an insecure person) and we need to work through them. On her end, she worries and that she cares about him as a person. Also, she tells me that she could never just have random hookups because for her, sex has a "connection" element to it. I don't get wrapped up in long term plans because I just like to enjoy the moments of planning and the experience itself. She meets about once a month, give or take, and that frequency seems to work for us. Initially, she met up with him a lot more and that was a mind fuck because we were new at this and didn't know what to expect. I wish you the best of luck and hopefully you guys can get this to happen. It really is a lot of fun, but a lot of work. Hang in there...

[BBCfan]

We've been at this for a relatively short period of time but, I've held this fantasy for a LONG time. It took a lot of discussion over the years to get to where we are. Even though we've started to play, we still have plenty to discuss and work through. It's been a lot of ups and downs, especially after the first encounter. We continue to talk, and she reassures me that I am her number one priority. That said, sometimes angst/jealously/insecurity creep in (I am not an insecure person) and we need to work through them. On her end, she worries and that she cares about him as a person. Also, she tells me that she could never just have random hookups because for her, sex has a "connection" element to it. I don't get wrapped up in long term plans because I just like to enjoy the moments of planning and the experience itself. She meets about once a month, give or take, and that frequency seems to work for us. Initially, she met up with him a lot more and that was a mind fuck because we were new at this and didn't know what to expect. I wish you the best of luck and hopefully you guys can get this to happen. It really is a lot of fun, but a lot of work. Hang in there...

I think my wife is quite similar in that this guy is a friend even though they were long time FWB before, She also does care for him as a friend and doesn't want to "use" him for our pleasure.

I did remind her though that he reached out to use her for his pleasure initially, So there's a strong likelihood he would be OK with being used.

They already have had that previous connection, so that's why he does seem like such a good fit.

Now what is it about this guy that got your wife to indulge after many years as a fantasy?

Is there something about him that brings out your insecurity a bit?

Thanks for your positive well wishes...appreciate it!

[funfortwo]

We've been at this for a relatively short period of time but, I've held this fantasy for a LONG time. It took a lot of discussion over the years to get to where we are. Even though we've started to play, we still have plenty to discuss and work through. It's been a lot of ups and downs, especially after the first encounter. We continue to talk, and she reassures me that I am her number one priority. That said, sometimes angst/jealously/insecurity creep in (I am not an insecure person) and we need to work through them. On her end, she worries and that she cares about him as a person. Also, she tells me that she could never just have random hookups because for her, sex has a "connection" element to it. I don't get wrapped up in long term plans because I just like to enjoy the moments of planning and the experience itself. She meets about once a month, give or take, and that frequency seems to work for us. Initially, she met up with him a lot more and that was a mind fuck because we were new at this and didn't know what to expect. I wish you the best of luck and hopefully you guys can get this to happen. It really is a lot of fun, but a lot of work. Hang in there...

I think my wife is quite similar in that this guy is a friend even though they were long time FWB before, She also does care for him as a friend and doesn't want to "use" him for our pleasure.

I did remind her though that he reached out to use her for his pleasure initially, So there's a strong likelihood he would be OK with being used.

They already have had that previous connection, so that's why he does seem like such a good fit.

Now what is it about this guy that got your wife to indulge after many years as a fantasy?

Is there something about him that brings out your insecurity a bit?

Thanks for your positive well wishes...appreciate it!

Sometimes, she admits that maybe she is using him for sex and I remind her "don't you think he is using you for sex also? It really is a win/win scenario." I've spoken to him directly once (in the beginning when I was unsure about everything) and he is totally cool with the arrangement. He is as concerned about discretion and feelings as I/we are. So I don't worry about that as much anymore.

What is it about J that she likes? Well, initially she admitted she wasn't into black men but would intentionally go out of her way to flirt with black guys that hit on her. About a year ago she met him at a party we attended, and he was working "high end" type of security (black suit not a uniform) and she escorted her and her friend from the event. She took a picture with him and wanted to show me her escort. Her friend commented how good looking he was, and she agreed. Fast forward to a few months later and he was at another event, where he was working again, and noted that he was kinda following her to get a look. She took this opportunity to openly flirt with him, hoping that I would notice. Supposedly, this was innocent for my benefit, but she was in the bathroom and four women were commenting on how good looking he was. She's a bit competitive and loves attention from good looking men. Later, she walked behind him, pressed her boobs into his back and told him "I want to have a drink with you later." Later he told her that he couldn't walk because of his erection...lol. Well, she told me about this later and we/I was able to find him on social media and she messaged him with my encouragement. She ended up on a date at a restaurant to see if there was a connection and she came home and told me about it. In her mind, she couldn't believe that this was happening. She felt a sexual connection to him, and he seemed like a great guy/gentleman. Somehow, in her words, "stars aligned" and she found a guy that checks the boxes.

Regarding insecurity....I guess it's the entire dynamic. You read about women that become infatuated with their lovers and leave their husbands. He is a good looking, in shape, successful businessman that played in the NFL. He has a big dick and satisfies my wife sexually while she has fun with him on their dates. I guess that's a lot to take in especially initially. When you watch your wife spend extra time and effort to ensure that he is attracted to her, it brings a bit of doubt into the equation. I am learning to step back and understand that she is now enjoying the journey. She enjoys teasing me and really enjoys the aspect of how much closer we have become as a result of this/these experiences. I try to put myself in her shoes...if I had a hot woman that was totally into me sexually, how would I act? Probably the same. In our discussions, we are open and honest about how we feel, and she assures me that I AM HER NUMBER ONE AND NOBODY CAN REPLACE ME. We have a lot of history and a very strong foundation. This is only one aspect of our lives that we share together.

Like I said, we are relatively new, and I draw on the experiences of others that have walked this path before me. Everyone is different and I guess whatever works best for them is what matters. I truly enjoy the closeness it brings to our relationship and it's a lot of fun. Good luck!!

[BBCfan]

So she talked to him this week. Conversation was general but she waited for a moment to interject some flirting and suggested they have a private party.

She was a little unsure how he might respond as she hadn't really given him much feedback to his earlier requests.
  He replied he would be up for that. She told me she then felt very nervous  and said they should do it for his birthday celebration.

His birthday isn't until Spring!
She then told him that would give her time to lose some weight.  That actually was quite revealing for me and I think explained why she has been holding off.

So she has gained weight since the last time they had been hooking up,  And although I am very happy with how she looks , This confirmed my suspicions that she was a little insecure hooking up with him, as she wasn't sure  If he would find her as desirable  after gaining the weight.

She has a curvy figure and for me it only adds to her sensuality, but he has a big reputation as a stud among her friends,  and she knows that he has a good choice of many hot women. I think the reality of actually hooking up with him again made her a bit insecure.

She passed it off to me that she was just nervous about the whole situation but I think more of it is related to her weight then she wants to admit.

I was a bit disappointed but was also very supportive, and related that I'm sure it wouldn't matter at all, but I do understand her insecurity.

I think just letting him know the door is open could create some opportunities before that.
I will still enjoy the fantasy with her, and be supportive and encouraging.

Can't help but being a bit disheartened as I'm not sure she'll lose the weight and she could possibly use this as a means to just put things off.

Of course if she's not lined up with it I wouldn't want her to do it anyway, but I think it's just insecurity and if it was to happen he wouldn't care and it would be awesome for all involved, especially her.

It seems likely if she was a little more secure about her appearance she would be moving forward more quickly.

I have been giving her no pressure and I think the fact that they are communicating, and she doesn't feel she has to relate back to me every little detail will give her a more relaxed and natural flow , so who knows what could happen.

[aguy4pleasure]

So she talked to him this week. Conversation was general but she waited for a moment to interject some flirting and suggested they have a private party.

She was a little unsure how he might respond as she hadn't really given him much feedback to his earlier requests.
  He replied he would be up for that. She told me she then felt very nervous  and said they should do it for his birthday celebration.

His birthday isn't until Spring!
She then told him that would give her time to lose some weight.  That actually was quite revealing for me and I think explained why she has been holding off.

So she has gained weight since the last time they had been hooking up,  And although I am very happy with how she looks , This confirmed my suspicions that she was a little insecure hooking up with him, as she wasn't sure  If he would find her as desirable  after gaining the weight.

She has a curvy figure and for me it only adds to her sensuality, but he has a big reputation as a stud among her friends,  and she knows that he has a good choice of many hot women. I think the reality of actually hooking up with him again made her a bit insecure.

She passed it off to me that she was just nervous about the whole situation but I think more of it is related to her weight then she wants to admit.

I was a bit disappointed but was also very supportive, and related that I'm sure it wouldn't matter at all, but I do understand her insecurity.

I think just letting him know the door is open could create some opportunities before that.
I will still enjoy the fantasy with her, and be supportive and encouraging.

Can't help but being a bit disheartened as I'm not sure she'll lose the weight and she could possibly use this as a means to just put things off.

Of course if she's not lined up with it I wouldn't want her to do it anyway, but I think it's just insecurity and if it was to happen he wouldn't care and it would be awesome for all involved, especially her.

It seems likely if she was a little more secure about her appearance she would be moving forward more quickly.

I have been giving her no pressure and I think the fact that they are communicating, and she doesn't feel she has to relate back to me every little detail will give her a more relaxed and natural flow , so who knows what could happen.

I’m sorry, but my imagination goes wild thinking about all the fun you could have playing off your wife’s desire to lose weight. “I think you are so incredibly hot and desirable now. Can you imagine how he and other men are going to want you once you become what you want?”

Sounds to me like both a great way to both motivate her to better eating and exercise and more intense libido in the process. Have fun!

[Mumfred]

She passed it off to me that she was just nervous about the whole situation but I think more of it is related to her weight then she wants to admit.

I wonder if about 90% of the guys on Wannabe are just guys waiting for their beautiful wives to feel good about themselves.

[Outlaw]

The big problem is people new to the lifestyle want what some of have spent decades learning
Slowly. My wife and I got married 51 years ago. We were perfect. Still are. Sex addiction binds us. I joined the navy and I was fucking every female between the Philippines and San Francisco. What I didn't know was she was making 8mm loops. It all worked out OK. Never ever talked divorce. We just stayed pals and talked..

[BBCfan]

So she talked to him this week. Conversation was general but she waited for a moment to interject some flirting and suggested they have a private party.

She was a little unsure how he might respond as she hadn't really given him much feedback to his earlier requests.
  He replied he would be up for that. She told me she then felt very nervous  and said they should do it for his birthday celebration.

His birthday isn't until Spring!
She then told him that would give her time to lose some weight.  That actually was quite revealing for me and I think explained why she has been holding off.

So she has gained weight since the last time they had been hooking up,  And although I am very happy with how she looks , This confirmed my suspicions that she was a little insecure hooking up with him, as she wasn't sure  If he would find her as desirable  after gaining the weight.

She has a curvy figure and for me it only adds to her sensuality, but he has a big reputation as a stud among her friends,  and she knows that he has a good choice of many hot women. I think the reality of actually hooking up with him again made her a bit insecure.

She passed it off to me that she was just nervous about the whole situation but I think more of it is related to her weight then she wants to admit.

I was a bit disappointed but was also very supportive, and related that I'm sure it wouldn't matter at all, but I do understand her insecurity.

I think just letting him know the door is open could create some opportunities before that.
I will still enjoy the fantasy with her, and be supportive and encouraging.

Can't help but being a bit disheartened as I'm not sure she'll lose the weight and she could possibly use this as a means to just put things off.

Of course if she's not lined up with it I wouldn't want her to do it anyway, but I think it's just insecurity and if it was to happen he wouldn't care and it would be awesome for all involved, especially her.

It seems likely if she was a little more secure about her appearance she would be moving forward more quickly.

I have been giving her no pressure and I think the fact that they are communicating, and she doesn't feel she has to relate back to me every little detail will give her a more relaxed and natural flow , so who knows what could happen.

I’m sorry, but my imagination goes wild thinking about all the fun you could have playing off your wife’s desire to lose weight. “I think you are so incredibly hot and desirable now. Can you imagine how he and other men are going to want you once you become what you want?”

Sounds to me like both a great way to both motivate her to better eating and exercise and more intense libido in the process. Have fun!

Great viewpoint. I agree and I'm going to enjoy doing exactly that. Thanks for the encouragement!

[BBCfan]

She passed it off to me that she was just nervous about the whole situation but I think more of it is related to her weight then she wants to admit.

I wonder if about 90% of the guys on Wannabe are just guys waiting for their beautiful wives to feel good about themselves.

I guess it is our job to help them get there as it will be a blessing for both regardless of outcome.

[BBCfan]

The big problem is people new to the lifestyle want what some of have spent decades learning
Slowly. My wife and I got married 51 years ago. We were perfect. Still are. Sex addiction binds us. I joined the navy and I was fucking every female between the Philippines and San Francisco. What I didn't know was she was making 8mm loops. It all worked out OK. Never ever talked divorce. We just stayed pals and talked..

The theme I take from this is honest open communication is paramount.

[Outlaw]

For us. We just have an open marriage. Never had an issue. We both knew we could never be mono.

[Trickydicky69]

Yes keep communicating and if there’s a difference in opinion then slow down or stop and talk through it.

[Pressingher]

I was with a Japanese elite tumbler/bikini model who was 105lbs. She never felt skinny enough. Avoid the weight loss goalpost, that's often a road to nowhere.

[BBCfan]

I was with a Japanese elite tumbler/bikini model who was 105lbs. She never felt skinny enough. Avoid the weight loss goalpost, that's often a road to nowhere.

I agree. I will attempt to make her feel sexy and desirable for him whenever I get the chance.

[BBCfan]

So the wife went to an event last week and I was away and could not accompany her.

An ex-boyfriend was there, A different guy from our candidate. She had shared quite a bit about him before, and although he wasn't as well hung was still one of her favorite fucks from the past. She had once shared that his dick felt amazing And was perhaps her favorite dick ever as far as the pleasure it gave her pussy.

This guy however was a bit of a dick as well, and so she said she would never even entertain the idea of reconnecting with this guy as she just doesn't trust him.

Turns out they ended up sitting next to each other at the event.
She said nothing happened and it was very polite only.

I must say I was still quite jealous, as from what she's told about this guy I just don't like him. He's often tried to flirt with her through social media knowing she has a boyfriend.

It was interesting just to feel the jealousy. I do wonder if she had wanted to bed him again how I would have felt about that.

[Trickydicky69]

Your wife does seem very sensible- she’s obviously thinking about possible repercussions, not just getting a hall pass for whoever she wants. Clearly this other guy can’t be trusted not to brag about shagging her again or will deliberately drive a wedge between you.
I think your cuckold angst would be through the roof with this guy which I don’t think that would be helpful with this first time- you need a safe arrangement which I think your wife is aware of and working through it.
I’m sure when she feels the time is right, she’ll do it. Partly for you and also for herself.

[BBCfan]

Your wife does seem very sensible- she’s obviously thinking about possible repercussions, not just getting a hall pass for whoever she wants. Clearly this other guy can’t be trusted not to brag about shagging her again or will deliberately drive a wedge between you.
I think your cuckold angst would be through the roof with this guy which I don’t think that would be helpful with this first time- you need a safe arrangement which I think your wife is aware of and working through it.
I’m sure when she feels the time is right, she’ll do it. Partly for you and also for herself.

I agree with you completely. There's a couple guys that we agreed are definitely a no go and hes top of the list.

In talking, another guy came up that she admitted she would be interested in reconnecting with, but does not live in the country anymore.

Hopefully her weight loss idea and reconnected with Jeffrey definitely do still happen, but thus far I don't see her too dedicated to weight loss LOL

[Trickydicky69]

Just a thought, do you need or want to lose some weight yourself or gain some muscle?
Would it encourage her to work on the weight loss if you suggested that you both could go down the gym together?
Then you have opportunities to tell her how great she’s looking, other guys oggling at her etc.
Obviously need to handle it carefully so she doesn’t think you’re accusing her of being fat!
Or only trying to push her towards her ex.
Subtly building her confidence because presumably she probably is self conscious about the weight

[BBCfan]

Just a thought, do you need or want to lose some weight yourself or gain some muscle?
Would it encourage her to work on the weight loss if you suggested that you both could go down the gym together?
Then you have opportunities to tell her how great she’s looking, other guys oggling at her etc.
Obviously need to handle it carefully so she doesn’t think you’re accusing her of being fat!
Or only trying to push her towards her ex.
Subtly building her confidence because presumably she probably is self conscious about the weight

That's a really great idea.
I certainly could lose a bit of weight and get fitter.
Her mom's been sick recently which has taken up a lot of her time, but it has brought up the idea of us being healthier in general. I've recently started eating a healthier diet and I'm encouraging her to do so as well.

I'm away a lot during the week for business so the gym probably wouldn't work but leading by example and giving her encouragement for health reasons is an avenue that is honest.
It also deflects from my ulterior motive of her feeling ready to reconnect with Jeffrey.

I'm actually going to make that my next step by showing her me getting fit and hopefully that will make her want to follow suit.

I've also really been telling her how hot she is and she knows I'm not lying, as when I see her after being away I'm always super aroused and get her into bed as soon as possible which I know she really enjoys and feels flattered by.

I'm hoping Jeffrey will reach out to her again, as I know she really does like being pursued and desired by guys she likes. If he showed some more interest it might help her overlook the way she feels about her weight a bit.

Thank you for your feedback and continued interest in my journey.

[Trickydicky69]

Let us know how it goes!

[johnbravo69]

Thanks for that great story! I hate to admit it but if my wife and I had a MFM I **think* I would be tempted to suck on his cock just to see what it was like. I'm totally straight but if the situation presented itself and my wife was ok with it I would do it. And I'd let him cum in my mouth just to see what it was like. Anyone else feel the same way?

[BBCfan]

Thanks for that great story! I hate to admit it but if my wife and I had a MFM I **think* I would be tempted to suck on his cock just to see what it was like. I'm totally straight but if the situation presented itself and my wife was ok with it I would do it. And I'd let him cum in my mouth just to see what it was like. Anyone else feel the same way?

Thanks for your positive feedback, glad you enjoyed it.

As much as I've had experience sucking dick, I've never been interested in taking a load, always was a step too far for my comfort zone. Wierd I know.

As far as with wife, I would rather just appreciate her enjoyment of his BBC again, and not be involved except to add to her pleasure only.
Seeing her pleasure gives me immense pleasure.

Hope you get to try it though, it is a unique and interesting experience for a "straight" guy.

[BBCfan]

So long tiny update,
With her looking after her mum right now and me away for work we haven't been able to connect much.
We should have some alone time tonight or tomorrow, but she surprised the hell out of me last night while talking on phone.

She revealed she had reached out to him a few days ago and flirted. Said it was very spontaneous and she wasn't gonna tell me until she saw me but isn't great at keeping a secret.

Wouldn't tell me more than that and when I suggested that she could have copied her flirtation to send it to tease me, she said that would have taken away the spontaneity of it and I understood and agreed.

Actually I'm shocked, as with everything going on I know she's VERY stressed with life, and we haven't talked about it at all or have time for any intimacy.

I thought she would let it go to the wayside with everything going on, as in past her sexuality is put on hold when stressed and super busy, as is the case for most people I'm sure.

But him popping up in her mind and her reaching out to flirt is a great sign for me to see this is something that interests her and she's not doing it completely for me.

I'm glad she is potentially using it too relieve some stress or have an escapist moment of self pleasure, even in her mind.
I've been excited as hell knowing this now in a new light, and what it likely means for her going forward.

Can't wait to see how she flirted and what the response was.
I know this is a tiny thing for most, but for me this seems kind of groundbreaking.

[Long Lurker 34]

So long tiny update,
With her looking after her mum right now and me away for work we haven't been able to connect much.
We should have some alone time tonight or tomorrow, but she surprised the hell out of me last night while talking on phone.

She revealed she had reached out to him a few days ago and flirted. Said it was very spontaneous and she wasn't gonna tell me until she saw me but isn't great at keeping a secret.

Wouldn't tell me more than that and when I suggested that she could have copied her flirtation to send it to tease me, she said that would have taken away the spontaneity of it and I understood and agreed.

Actually I'm shocked, as with everything going on I know she's VERY stressed with life, and we haven't talked about it at all or have time for any intimacy.

I thought she would let it go to the wayside with everything going on, as in past her sexuality is put on hold when stressed and super busy, as is the case for most people I'm sure.

But him popping up in her mind and her reaching out to flirt is a great sign for me to see this is something that interests her and she's not doing it completely for me.

I'm glad she is potentially using it too relieve some stress or have an escapist moment of self pleasure, even in her mind.
I've been excited as hell knowing this now in a new light, and what it likely means for her going forward.

Can't wait to see how she flirted and what the response was.
I know this is a tiny thing for most, but for me this seems kind of groundbreaking.

BBCF - You should tell her to continue doing this, as a means of stress relief. Plus it will help solidify the friendship between them.

[BBCfan]

So long tiny update,
With her looking after her mum right now and me away for work we haven't been able to connect much.
We should have some alone time tonight or tomorrow, but she surprised the hell out of me last night while talking on phone.

She revealed she had reached out to him a few days ago and flirted. Said it was very spontaneous and she wasn't gonna tell me until she saw me but isn't great at keeping a secret.

Wouldn't tell me more than that and when I suggested that she could have copied her flirtation to send it to tease me, she said that would have taken away the spontaneity of it and I understood and agreed.

Actually I'm shocked, as with everything going on I know she's VERY stressed with life, and we haven't talked about it at all or have time for any intimacy.

I thought she would let it go to the wayside with everything going on, as in past her sexuality is put on hold when stressed and super busy, as is the case for most people I'm sure.

But him popping up in her mind and her reaching out to flirt is a great sign for me to see this is something that interests her and she's not doing it completely for me.

I'm glad she is potentially using it too relieve some stress or have an escapist moment of self pleasure, even in her mind.
I've been excited as hell knowing this now in a new light, and what it likely means for her going forward.

Can't wait to see how she flirted and what the response was.
I know this is a tiny thing for most, but for me this seems kind of groundbreaking.

BBCF - You should tell her to continue doing this, as a means of stress relief. Plus it will help solidify the friendship between them.

I agree, that is a great idea.
I think for her personality better to just show my enthusiasm and support and let her not feel me pushing anything, let her feel the fun and playful spontaneity of things being on her terms.

They have a very long solid friendship, it's more the reigniting of playful FWB passion between them that will hopefully build as well as the confidence for her to feel free to pursue or be pursued while in a committed relationship.
That's the new dynamic I need to be patient to allow to unfold naturally I think.