Long Time Lurker Here

[hotwifegoddes4u]

Today is going to be a long one for me. I have to work, then tonight is workout night with my wife (after dinner). But we will have some private time since the kids are busy until close to 10:00. Which means... Tonight is "chat with M on Skype" night for her. She hasn't chatted with him in two weeks because it was so busy last week. She told me yesterday that she had some nerves about it since it's been a little while but she thinks she can get into it.

I offered to do what I did last time and start her off with a foot rub while she chats at the beginning and then clear out to give her some privacy with M. Last time I think that worked well and she joked that she might chat more often just to get the foot rubs! The other thing she said is that she is going to ask M what he would like to see on a cam night as an indication that she is getting close to trying a cam session with him. I am wondering if he will ask her to do a short non-sexual cam session tonight. If he asks I hope she accepts, but we will see. She is very much in control of the situation and if she says not tonight, she'll mean it.

I am hoping her pussy gets really wet for him again. I plan to get the vibrator out for her tonight since we talked about that last time. Trying to get herself worked up for him with it before or during chat. That would be a nice hot step for tonight! I also made it clear to her again, that I want this to be between her and M and that I should be forgotten when she is chatting or anything else with him (should she go farther). For the first time during all of this she agreed and seemed happy! She knows she is completely free to do whatever she wants. But the past few weeks when I referred to it as "between you and M" she would bristle and say, "well I am doing this for you, and just happen to be getting a little something out of it myself". This time she actually said, "OK" and got that special smile I have seen before when I know she likes something sexually.

I have to say my mind is not going to be on much of anything else today except the Skype chat this evening. The fun is supposed to start around 7:30 PM which is when he will be available. I am hoping their chat, especially around possibly camming soon, will kick off a wildfire for them. With M, I have also been telling him that this is their thing which is why I don't want to have much of a hand in directing it unless asked. He has been asking me things less lately. And after my wife and I had some really good conversations ove the weekend, I think she is done asking questions too. She now has an idea (confirmed more than new to her) of what women do on cams, both amateur and pro. She definitely wants to look more pro she said, which I also find hot. But tonight is about her finding out from M what he'd like to see. If I am guessing right he will probably tell her something like, "anything, because everything about you is hot".

On the "me" side of the equation, I still need to work at reining in my excitement. We were talking last night, and I made the mistake of telling her that if this changed over to real life (in a very "only in my wildest dreams" way), the most I would be interested in doing would be taking some pix, video, and an MFM. She freaked out saying, "if you think anything like that is going to happen you have the wrong girl on your hands". I had to clarify that this was my limit based on things I have thought about abs not an expectation. It took a while to calm her down. What SHE has mentioned is that she is a "one guy at a time gal". So if anything does happen in real life she would be with M, and then later she would be with me. She has talked about having M snap some souvenir photos and videos so I get something out of the experience.

My main reason for telling her what I did was in trying to discuss what we would want out of a real life meet if that were to ever happen. Since she has been agreeable to talking about it, I felt freer in talking about my limits (which will always be much wider than hers). I was specifically explaining that I wanted to make clear to M that I am not bi and don't want any man to man contact and any of it would be accidental. That was what triggered the freak out. She couldn't imagine any situation where any kind of contact between him and I would ever happen. So I spent the next 20 minutes trying to explain that I was thinking from the perspective of my limits and that both he and I have no expectations of anything like this. She did eventually accept it but stressed there was no way anything like that would ever happen and I reminded her again that she calls the shots, so of course that is true.

Wish us luck tonight! I am hoping for a wild ride, but it could be tamer as she tries to pick up where she left off.

[Whosbeensleeping]

Today is going to be a long one for me. I have to work, then tonight is workout night with my wife (after dinner). But we will have some private time since the kids are busy until close to 10:00. Which means... Tonight is "chat with M on Skype" night for her. She hasn't chatted with him in two weeks because it was so busy last week. She told me yesterday that she had some nerves about it since it's been a little while but she thinks she can get into it.

I offered to do what I did last time and start her off with a foot rub while she chats at the beginning and then clear out to give her some privacy with M. Last time I think that worked well and she joked that she might chat more often just to get the foot rubs! The other thing she said is that she is going to ask M what he would like to see on a cam night as an indication that she is getting close to trying a cam session with him. I am wondering if he will ask her to do a short non-sexual cam session tonight. If he asks I hope she accepts, but we will see. She is very much in control of the situation and if she says not tonight, she'll mean it.

I am hoping her pussy gets really wet for him again. I plan to get the vibrator out for her tonight since we talked about that last time. Trying to get herself worked up for him with it before or during chat. That would be a nice hot step for tonight! I also made it clear to her again, that I want this to be between her and M and that I should be forgotten when she is chatting or anything else with him (should she go farther). For the first time during all of this she agreed and seemed happy! She knows she is completely free to do whatever she wants. But the past few weeks when I referred to it as "between you and M" she would bristle and say, "well I am doing this for you, and just happen to be getting a little something out of it myself". This time she actually said, "OK" and got that special smile I have seen before when I know she likes something sexually.

I have to say my mind is not going to be on much of anything else today except the Skype chat this evening. The fun is supposed to start around 7:30 PM which is when he will be available. I am hoping their chat, especially around possibly camming soon, will kick off a wildfire for them. With M, I have also been telling him that this is their thing which is why I don't want to have much of a hand in directing it unless asked. He has been asking me things less lately. And after my wife and I had some really good conversations ove the weekend, I think she is done asking questions too. She now has an idea (confirmed more than new to her) of what women do on cams, both amateur and pro. She definitely wants to look more pro she said, which I also find hot. But tonight is about her finding out from M what he'd like to see. If I am guessing right he will probably tell her something like, "anything, because everything about you is hot".

On the "me" side of the equation, I still need to work at reining in my excitement. We were talking last night, and I made the mistake of telling her that if this changed over to real life (in a very "only in my wildest dreams" way), the most I would be interested in doing would be taking some pix, video, and an MFM. She freaked out saying, "if you think anything like that is going to happen you have the wrong girl on your hands". I had to clarify that this was my limit based on things I have thought about abs not an expectation. It took a while to calm her down. What SHE has mentioned is that she is a "one guy at a time gal". So if anything does happen in real life she would be with M, and then later she would be with me. She has talked about having M snap some souvenir photos and videos so I get something out of the experience.

My main reason for telling her what I did was in trying to discuss what we would want out of a real life meet if that were to ever happen. Since she has been agreeable to talking about it, I felt freer in talking about my limits (which will always be much wider than hers). I was specifically explaining that I wanted to make clear to M that I am not bi and don't want any man to man contact and any of it would be accidental. That was what triggered the freak out. She couldn't imagine any situation where any kind of contact between him and I would ever happen. So I spent the next 20 minutes trying to explain that I was thinking from the perspective of my limits and that both he and I have no expectations of anything like this. She did eventually accept it but stressed there was no way anything like that would ever happen and I reminded her again that she calls the shots, so of course that is true.

Wish us luck tonight! I am hoping for a wild ride, but it could be tamer as she tries to pick up where she left off.

She's amazing! You got this.

[Christinebitg]

<< What SHE has mentioned is that she is a "one guy at a time gal". >>

That can be an interesting problem for you.

If that's really the case, she won't want to do anything with him while she considers herself to be with him. Perhaps more importantly, vice versa.

Are you prepared for the possibility of getting cut off sexually?

[hotwifegoddes4u]

<< What SHE has mentioned is that she is a "one guy at a time gal". >>

That can be an interesting problem for you.

If that's really the case, she won't want to do anything with him while she considers herself to be with him. Perhaps more importantly, vice versa.

Are you prepared for the possibility of getting cut off sexually?

Hehehe... That would happen only in my dreams. I would love for her to go exclusive with an FWB. But I also know what she meant. It is like what happened with her ex. She didn't mind fucking both of us as long as it was one of us at a time and we are not in the same room. So MFM, videos and photos are completely out of the question as far as she is concerned.

[hotwifegoddes4u]

So wow! My wife and M had a hot chat session tonight. A little over one and a half hours of sexy chat. Talking about blowjobs, what they would do their first time fucking, and they even discussed anal! She brought it up saying it was one of her "super powers". They exchanged some sexy photos as well. By the time she came downstairs she had a smile on her face and said she had a fun time when I asked.

She also asked him what he'd like to see in a first cam session. So she's getting pretty close. Maybe not as close as I was hoping, but who knows? Finally, I wanted to feel her pussy with my fingers before she went back into "PG rated mode" before the kids came home. Once again, she was very wet. In a few minutes, we'll have a little quiet time before bed and I'll be eating her out. We'll see how that goes. I hope she really likes this enough to continue even after M decides he might be out of the picture.

She did say earlier today this might be her sexual "Magnum Opus" and she'll never do anything like that again. Then she joked it could be like guacamole. She hated guacamole for most of her young life, then she tried some in college and was hooked. Now she's obsessed with it. I told her, "Yeah! Let's hope this is more of a guacamole thing. Let that be your mantra"!

[Long Lurker 34]

So wow! My wife and M had a hot chat session tonight. A little over one and a half hours of sexy chat. Talking about blowjobs, what they would do their first time fucking, and they even discussed anal! She brought it up saying it was one of her "super powers". They exchanged some sexy photos as well. By the time she came downstairs she had a smile on her face and said she had a fun time when I asked.

She also asked him what he'd like to see in a first cam session. So she's getting pretty close. Maybe not as close as I was hoping, but who knows? Finally, I wanted to feel her pussy with my fingers before she went back into "PG rated mode" before the kids came home. Once again, she was very wet. In a few minutes, we'll have a little quiet time before bed and I'll be eating her out. We'll see how that goes. I hope she really likes this enough to continue even after M decides he might be out of the picture.

She did say earlier today this might be her sexual "Magnum Opus" and she'll never do anything like that again. Then she joked it could be like guacamole. She hated guacamole for most of her young life, then she tried some in college and was hooked. Now she's obsessed with it. I told her, "Yeah! Let's hope this is more of a guacamole thing. Let that be your mantra"!

So if this does work out, after several repeated sessions, you could have a T-shirt made up with "It's a guacamole thing" on it. She could wear that in public and it's something no one would question, but could be a private turn for you.

[hotwifegoddes4u]

LOL Long Lurker! I just might consider it!

[Mr ablondemilf]

LOL Longtime! I just might consider it!

Now I'm up to speed on you and your wife's progress.✔

This was a great read because before my wife became a HOTWIFE I set her up and got her started doing real time video chatting with other men. This was in the early 90s so technology wasn't what it is today. With early 90s technology internet speed and video quality were no where close to where it is today. It worked though, and she thoroughly enjoyed it and after a couple of weeks had no problem getting naked and using her toys to get off while watching 6 men at a time jacking off to her. She was always a very wet and HOT fuck after a night of video chatting. In fact, she officially became a HOTWIFE by hooking up with one of her video chat buddies while out of town attending a continuing education workshop. Was a 2 day workshop and they fucked 3 times. She stayed an active HOTWIFE for 20+ years of our now 42 year marriage.

Thank you for sharing your wife and her adventures with us. You have a very HOT lady on your hands. I suspect she will eventually become an official HOTWIFE and will accept this lifestyle as a permanent part of your marriage.

[hotwifegoddes4u]

LOL Longtime! I just might consider it!

Now I'm up to speed on you and your wife's progress.✔

This was a great read because before my wife became a HOTWIFE I set her up and got her started doing real time video chatting with other men. This was in the early 90s so technology wasn't what it is today. With early 90s technology internet speed and video quality were no where close to where it is today. It worked though, and she thoroughly enjoyed it and after a couple of weeks had no problem getting naked and using her toys to get off while watching 6 men at a time jacking off to her. She was always a very wet and HOT fuck after a night of video chatting. In fact, she officially became a HOTWIFE by hooking up with one of her video chat buddies while out of town attending a continuing education workshop. Was a 2 day workshop and they fucked 3 times. She stayed an active HOTWIFE for 20+ years of our now 42 year marriage.

Thank you for sharing your wife and her adventures with us. You have a very HOT lady on your hands. I suspect she will eventually become an official HOTWIFE and will accept this lifestyle as a permanent part of your marriage.

The words of encouragement are welcome... Right now she is still on the fence but teetering. Her hot session last night was amazing. And completely just her and him while I went downstairs and worked. She felt weirded out by it later after spending time with the kids (both in high school) before they turned in for the night. So she didn't want to think about it or talk about it by the time we had some alone time.

She said that it still makes her think, "What the hell am I doing?! This is not the kind of of thing I do! Ugh! I should just forget it". But then she says the further away she is from it, it gets a little easier to talk about and focus on when we play. She generally doesn't like to think about it during a normal day but she has been trying what J have been suggesting, which is to allow herself to fondly remember the event for a few seconds and then go back to normal instead of brushing it aside completely.

Tomorrow night we will have some more private time in the evening and will likely focus on it more then. But I also established something recently based on new work from home schedules for both of us... "the Daily Grope". Once each workday, I will approach her for the Daily Grope and she will oblige. Trying to encourage her to do the same, but she doesn't usually have sex on the mind during a normal workday. When I do today's grope I will see if she is open to thinking a little bit about what happened last night with her Skype friend M.

[Mr ablondemilf]

She said that it still makes her think, "What the hell am I doing?! This is not the kind of of thing I do! Ugh! I should just forget it". But then she says the further away she is from it, it gets a little easier to talk about and focus on when we play.

I think most long time married women have the same feelings and questions. For a long time monogamous married lady it is big change from normal to spread her legs and allow another man to occupy her vagina. When my wife finally allowed another man to experience her married pussy at that continuing education workshop I mentioned earlier, she had many questions and concerns. It was another couple of months before she started showing interest again in this lifestyle. Once she started showing interest again I encouraged her share herself with someone else as soon as she was ready.

Shortly thereafter she did hook up with another of her video chat guys that lived about 50 miles from where we were located. She actually drove to his house for her 2nd encounter as a new HOTWIFE. After this she was totally on board for making this lifestyle a permanent part of our marriage. I personally met both of her first lovers and we all became friends and still are. She fucked those two guys for years, while also fucking others they didn't know about.

You've made great progress with your wife. She finally fucked another man and admitted she loved it. Give her time to process the experience and she will be fine. I suspect she will be looking for another hard cock soon. Buckle up and get ready for the ride. It will be fun times for both of you.

[hotwifegoddes4u]

She said that it still makes her think, "What the hell am I doing?! This is not the kind of of thing I do! Ugh! I should just forget it". But then she says the further away she is from it, it gets a little easier to talk about and focus on when we play.

I think most long time married women have the same feelings and questions. For a long time monogamous married lady it is big change from normal to spread her legs and allow another man to occupy her vagina. When my wife finally allowed another man to experience her married pussy at that continuing education workshop I mentioned earlier, she had many questions and concerns. It was another couple of months before she started showing interest again in this lifestyle. Once she started showing interest again I encouraged her share herself with someone else as soon as she was ready.

Shortly thereafter she did hook up with another of her video chat guys that lived about 50 miles from where we were located. She actually drove to his house for her 2nd encounter as a new HOTWIFE. After this she was totally on board for making this lifestyle a permanent part of our marriage. I personally met both of her first lovers and we all became friends and still are. She fucked those two guys for years, while also fucking others they didn't know about.

You've made great progress with your wife. She finally fucked another man and admitted she loved it. Give her time to process the experience and she will be fine. I suspect she will be looking for another hard cock soon. Buckle up and get ready for the ride. It will be fun times for both of you.

Thanks again. I did want to clarify one point though. Her session the other night was still a chat session on Skype, not an in person meeting yet. The last time she fucked her ex was about 20 years ago. So that barrier has not been crossed yet. I have been told this stuff ebbs and flows and that is good to know, because that is what I am seeing with her. The night of her chat session this week when I tried to warm her up to some playtime after hours she was very NOT in the mood at all. She said that her chat session left her feeling "skeevy" so she didn't want to think about it at all.

But more updates... Last night, even though I stayed away from that topic as she requested, she was REALLY hot again and super wet. I figured she was thinking of her hot chat with M but knew we promised to not touch that topic until Friday evening (more private time tonight). She had some amazing orgasms when I ate her out and fingerbanged her. And when I entered her she was just slippery wet. While I was fucking her, she said, "Oh my god!!! I love how turned on I've been recently"! It took all my will power to not bring up M and her Skype chat at that moment.

After we both finished she said, "That was some pent up stuff from last night I guess. You did some good work down there"! I said, "Well... I did half the work", implying that someone else did the other half and we left it at that. I REALLY wanted her to confirm to both she and I that the reason she came so hard is because she's virtually playing around with someone else. But I knew better. We had agreed earlier in the day yesterday that if we had time to play last night it would be just between us. She wanted that and I respected it.

Fun thing... She literally just came into my home office and we had our daily grope just now. I asked her, "So do you really like how turned on you've been lately" and she smiled and said, "Yes"! We will likely be playing a little more tonight and since we have truly private time for a few hours, she said she does want to focus on the chat with M so we get the most out of it. Also while talking earlier, she said she hoped that tonight she could make up for me not getting my fair share on Wednesday. It told her, and I think she is starting to understand, that when she plays with M on Skype and gets really super turned on for quite a few days, that it brings her up to match my level of sexual interest. So the fact that we didn't get to play more than a minute or so on Wednesday was no detriment to me. The fact that she is getting toyed with and aroused by M and I, is actually a good thing for me, for her, and for M. Slowly I do think she is getting it.

As a person she is awesome. She wants everyone to get their fair share in every circumstance she is involved in and it translates to this arena as well! I am definitely enjoying this ride with her. I feel like I've been driving solo for years. When this started I told her it feels good to have her "in the car" with me while we explore. But, I also need to keep the reality check in place. She may only play with M on Skype and never do anything again. She may decide she wants to meet him and fuck him in real life. She may freak out and cut this off for some reason. To be prepared for any of that, I need to keep my mental mantra going "Let this become HER adventure. Let her drive. You're just along for the ride with the map and to provide any assistance needed". Breathe and repeat...

[Mr ablondemilf]

She said that it still makes her think, "What the hell am I doing?! This is not the kind of of thing I do! Ugh! I should just forget it". But then she says the further away she is from it, it gets a little easier to talk about and focus on when we play.

I think most long time married women have the same feelings and questions. For a long time monogamous married lady it is big change from normal to spread her legs and allow another man to occupy her vagina. When my wife finally allowed another man to experience her married pussy at that continuing education workshop I mentioned earlier, she had many questions and concerns. It was another couple of months before she started showing interest again in this lifestyle. Once she started showing interest again I encouraged her share herself with someone else as soon as she was ready.

Shortly thereafter she did hook up with another of her video chat guys that lived about 50 miles from where we were located. She actually drove to his house for her 2nd encounter as a new HOTWIFE. After this she was totally on board for making this lifestyle a permanent part of our marriage. I personally met both of her first lovers and we all became friends and still are. She fucked those two guys for years, while also fucking others they didn't know about.

You've made great progress with your wife. She finally fucked another man and admitted she loved it. Give her time to process the experience and she will be fine. I suspect she will be looking for another hard cock soon. Buckle up and get ready for the ride. It will be fun times for both of you.

Thanks again. I did want to clarify one point though. Her session the other night was still a chat session on Skype, not an in person meeting yet. The last time she fucked her ex was about 20 years ago. So that barrier has not been crossed yet.

I do apologize for that mistake, I have her mixed up with another lady on this forum.

[hotwifegoddes4u]

She said that it still makes her think, "What the hell am I doing?! This is not the kind of of thing I do! Ugh! I should just forget it". But then she says the further away she is from it, it gets a little easier to talk about and focus on when we play.

I think most long time married women have the same feelings and questions. For a long time monogamous married lady it is big change from normal to spread her legs and allow another man to occupy her vagina. When my wife finally allowed another man to experience her married pussy at that continuing education workshop I mentioned earlier, she had many questions and concerns. It was another couple of months before she started showing interest again in this lifestyle. Once she started showing interest again I encouraged her share herself with someone else as soon as she was ready.

Shortly thereafter she did hook up with another of her video chat guys that lived about 50 miles from where we were located. She actually drove to his house for her 2nd encounter as a new HOTWIFE. After this she was totally on board for making this lifestyle a permanent part of our marriage. I personally met both of her first lovers and we all became friends and still are. She fucked those two guys for years, while also fucking others they didn't know about.

You've made great progress with your wife. She finally fucked another man and admitted she loved it. Give her time to process the experience and she will be fine. I suspect she will be looking for another hard cock soon. Buckle up and get ready for the ride. It will be fun times for both of you.

Thanks again. I did want to clarify one point though. Her session the other night was still a chat session on Skype, not an in person meeting yet. The last time she fucked her ex was about 20 years ago. So that barrier has not been crossed yet.

I do apologize for that mistake, I have her mixed up with another lady on this forum.

No worries at all. There are so many great stories about what people are up to, it is hard to keep them all distinct, especially when there are similarities. I have been having a great time interacting here. Especially when people (ahem YOU) are giving such great insight and advice. I have learned a lot the past few weeks since I posted this. Much of it has helped me negotiate and handle her reactions in ways different from what I might otherwise do. And those approaches seem to be helping our journey. So all of this is VERY appreciated!

[Long Lurker 34]

HWG

"The Daily Grope" - That's a great line and concept. That is something, I think, might do well as a separate general thread for all posters.

"Oh my god!!! I love how turned on I've been recently!" - Just wondering, when you and your wife are out and about, does she ever comment about the attributes of some random guy who comes into view? Or what she might like to do with him?

[hotwifegoddes4u]

HWG

"The Daily Grope" - That's a great line and concept. That is something, I think, might do well as a separate general thread for all posters.

"Oh my god!!! I love how turned on I've been recently!" - Just wondering, when you and your wife are out and about, does she ever comment about the attributes of some random guy who comes into view? Or what she might like to do with him?

Heh... Thanks. I think a lot of couples who are both highly sexually charged already do plenty of groping per day. My wife loves sex, but she and I have always been at different levels of lust. My knob is always set at 11. Hers is probably more like 2-3 on a normal day when she is busy with day to day stuff. That probably moves to a 5-7 when we have some conversations about sex. And she hits the 10-11 range when we're in the middle of things. So the daily grope idea was intended to make sexuality more of a daily thing for us. Especially now that we both work from home most of the time. She doesn't seem to mind it, but I think some days it falls into the range of humoring me. Lately though...

As far as commenting on other guys when we're out. Never. I think it doesn't occur to her most of the time. She has mentioned that she has occasionally seen an attractive guy here or there, long after the fact. But she is not 100% comfortable just openly talking about it. Some of that is likely because since we've been parents we're usually not alone. Definitely something for me to work on encouraging. Still, it has never been in her nature. She was always quiet and shy about sexual interest even when she was young and single. Back in our dating days we promised to point people out to each other and she was OK with that. But I realized that there really weren't that many guys around that fit her taste (she liked super stylish pretty boy types. Think Bryan Ferry of Roxy Music or Roger Taylor of Duran Duran). So there weren't many guys to point out. Her tastes have opened up a bit over the years. Her Skype friend M is totally not the kind of guy she would have gone for years back. He hits the gym a lot and is pretty muscular, has pretty standard business casual looks, and occasionally a little facial hair. Amazingly she is still into him. So definitely something has changed over the years. Might be time to renew that promise of pointing out guys to her.

[hotwifegoddes4u]

Another couple of new minor developments. We had more time for talking this weekend (and probably more tonight along with some private time for more action too). While talking, my wife brought something up that we talked about ten to twelve years ago. Back then she seemed to be a little open to the idea of hotwifing and I told her she had complete freedom to play with any guy she was interested in. Being who she is, she said, that I also had that freedom but that she would never want to hear about it or know details since it would do nothing good for her.

Yesterday she brought that up again and re-iterated her position on it, she wants nothing to do with knowing what happened if I find someone to fool around with other than, "honey, I will be away on Thursday night to hang out with a special friend". She said that since she's been having her recent fun with with M on Skype, she wants to make sure she is keeping things equitable and offer me the same should I meet a hotwife that is interested in me. But she also said she has the confidence now that I would not leave her (and she is right, I've been there for most of our relationship). What is more interesting to me though is that she brought this up on her own in the context of discussing her recent fun. While it proves absolutely nothing, it does make me wonder if she feels closer than ever before.

The other fun development is from Friday night. We had alone time and were taking good advantage of it. She was cumming hard fantasizing about having all kinds of fun with M and playing with her vibe. I then did what I usually like to do at some point: pushed the envelope. If you've been keeping up with our story, you know that she, M and I all agreed to operate in "test mode" which means we can say and do anything we want during play time, and none of it commits us to anything. It just lifts the barrier from saying certain things out of worries around that commitment. This allows her and M to chat about really meeting in person and discussing what they want to do to each other without her constantly saying, "well, it's a nice fantasy". That helps keep from bringing down the mood for M and I and helps her practice all of the elements up to, but excluding actual plans and commitments. I think that practice could help in making the real shift happen for her in an easier way. We're all happy and comfortable with this arrangement right now.

So on Friday, while she was cumming hard thinking and talking about having M eat her pussy and fucking her and how wet she knows she would be, I told her that I had a 'non-test mode question. Over the years, I have come to know that when she is at a high level of orgasm, I can get her truest feelings on things that she would not want to talk about in normal circumstances. So I asked her my non-test mode question, "At this point, having had a lot of fun chatting and fantasizing about fucking M in real life, how close are you to ending test mode". She laughed and said, "I am already there physically. Not just now with my vibe, but even when we're just talking or thinking about it and I get wet, I know I'd fuck him if I had the chance. But, where I am not is all of my worries and concerns. What if people find out? What if the kids find out? Think about the years of counselling they would need, I would need... What if M turns out to be something I am ultimately not interested in..."

I stopped her there and said, "Don't worry. You don't need to explain all of that right now. You know how I am and how I like fantasies to be based on things that are more likely in real life. This was an attempt to get to that. Test mode is back on now so carry on." And she did, very successful I might add. As much as this might not seem like much, I think this is the absolute first time she's admitted, outside of test mode, that she is ready to fuck M. When she's said it before, it's been in the middle of an orgasm during test mode. This time, because of how the question was posed, she gave me what I believe is a very honest answer. It sounds like her. She is a planner and likes to think things through several steps in advance. That leads to her sometimes worrying about issues that she foresees as possible outcomes. So I think the main obstacle (a very large one) is her internal worries based on very normal concerns: people who shouldn't know about this activity finding out, her FWB being problematic in some way (won't leave her alone, more interested in her than just for sex, turning out to be a type of person she doesn't like, etc...), STDs, and so on.

My plan is to just talk through those concerns with her and have a plan for each concern she comes up with. For example, if our kids were to find out: The youngest is going to turn eighteen this year. As parents we are assuming that the kids will become sexually active with partners within the next year or two and will have more understanding about how sexual arousal changes your mind on what you will/won't do. Given that, if they were to find out, chances are they wouldn't say a thing either out of embarrassment, or respect for that parent/kid barrier in this realm. Honestly, no one wants to think about their parents in this way, so I think the problem would actually resolve itself. Our kids have been raised to not be prudes or libertines, but to view sex as a natural and fun part of life. So if they did find out I don't think they would even bother to address it with us.

As far as her friend M is concerned, right now she is playing around with him using guardrails and keeping it all virtual (thank goodness easier online ways of interaction exist! I still remember the 80s and 90s...). She is comfortable with that and feels safe. I think I will need to discuss plans with her for IF the day comes that she wants to exit test mode. There are things that she already let me know would be required: she wants me to come along with her to meet him (to keep her feeling safe). She wants me to escort her to his room (or I think better, a room WE get and trust) and then leave when she gives me the sign to. She doesn't (likely ever) want an audience. So I will never be in the room with her, will never be able to take photos or make videos, and MFM is out of the question for her in any capacity. She will text/call when they're done. All of that is already talked through.

Where we need to talk: I think what might address her STD concerns is requiring STD test results which seems to be something some people in the lifestyle do here. She will also likely want a condom the first time (possibly a few more times). But she did surprise me in that department with her ex when she fucked him. They dispensed with condoms after their second time together. Getting back to a hotel room set up, I don't know how close she wants me to be when I leave. Next room (if we get our own)? The hallway? The lobby? The parking lot? Back at home?

How to handle if it gets out to people we know: What I have told her before is that as far as our online presence if people recognize us, it is unlikely they just stumbled on it. They are likely members of the same site and would want discretion too. In real life, it's a little trickier. If she is meeting up with the FWB at a hotel, it is going to likely be local. That begs the question... Unless someone we know works at that specific hotel, the chances of them being there locally are pretty low. Yes they could be there for a work event, but chances are any FWB action she might participate in would be on a Saturday night which makes that possibility extremely low. So if one of our vanilla friends are there, they are likely there for similar reasons (spice up their time with their partner, or possibly an FWB situation of their own). And no matter what, at the end of the day, it really isn't anyone else 's business.

To seasoned swingers and hotwife couples all of this might sound kind of nuts. But, it is what she and I would need to work through to getting some of those concerns managed and minimized or eliminated. So... some careful talking and planning would need to be done before there would ever be a chance to exit test mode. I have prefaced these kinds of talks with her by saying that she is in charge of everything and that I am asking her these questions to make sure everything that might be on her mind is being acknowledged and addressed to her satisfaction. I stress to her that these are not plans I am making that she needs to act on, but they are considerations for things she might be concerned about so that she can feel more comfortable if she is feeling like ending test mode some day. Right now the main goal is getting her to camming with M and that is what she is comfortable with. Any discussion around these points would be just to acknowledge them and work out a plan so the worry has little to no impact on her potential decision to end test mode.

The last fun little development. The last time they chatted I had her get her vibe out to use during chat if/when she was ready. She did hit a point when she was ready to masturbate with her vibe, but she did not want to stop chatting and she wasn't sure about one handed typing. (Hehehe... I think most guys are very used to that!). So she wound up not using the vibe even though she was ready to. So I suggested a half step for her on Friday night, "You could switch from text chat to a voice only call. Kind of like phone sex". I think that appealed. She said it didn't even occur to her that she could do that and that she thinks that is a much more possible step for her to do when she is aroused. It also led to two more things that made me feel pretty hopeful about her next few Skype sessions with M. The first is that she happily said, "I didn't even think there was a halfway step between chatting and camming. But I am very optimistic about my next chat with M"!

The second and more exciting item... When this all started, M had asked if chats or eventually camming with her could be a weekly thing. She expressed to me that she didn't think so. Originally she might have been thinking once every month or so. But we had a stretch for a few weeks in February where she was doing it weekly. A lot of our timing is based on when the kids are not home. That has increased since the youngest also got a job and social life opened up due to vaccines and some level of slightly increased safety around COVID-19. But weekly is likely still not a realistic possibility. However, after my wife said she is optimistic about her next chat with M, I asked her if she wanted to chat again with him this coming week or next and she said THIS WEEK along with that smile I know so well which means, "I'm horny for M and can't wait to chat with him".

She is feeling sexier, she's admitted to liking the hornier version of herself lately, and with the suggestion of a voice only call, I would not be surprised if that happens this week and she has some mind blowing orgasms with M and her vibrator while talking to him. I am hoping M turns on his cam for her to see and that tempts her to go farther. She tends to make breakthroughs when she is in the middle of a really good orgasm. Many times when she is past the initial "I don't know if I should" phase, if she really enjoyed something, she starts to indulge in it more freely. Oddly, she won't want to acknowledge her enjoyment fully for a long time, but it is pretty obvious. That happened when she fucked her ex. It happened with anal sex and getting her ass rimmed and deeply tongued. It even happened with this experience. She originally said she would chat maybe 20-30 minutes at a time with M one every month or maybe two weeks at the shortest. Her last session with him was over 90 minutes and about 98% sex talk. I noticed each session creeping up from 30 to 45 to 90 minutes. And, if the schedules lined up for once a week, I think she would just do it. If I said let's set up a weekly schedule, she is likely to balk and bring up her wife/mom responsibilities, saying that she doesn't have that kind of time. But, at this point, I have no doubt that if M asked for a chat session every week, she would happily go along as long as we have the privacy.

The absolutely last item we discussed this week was permanence of this kind of activity (her doing sexy chat/camming with someone from time to time) in our relationship. She said that she still isn't sure what this is for herself. (This is where I feel worried but have been good at not showing it) She does expect that eventually, M is going to move on. He is younger and likely has other opportunities that are more likely to become a long term relationship than what he is doing with her. She still has some baggage about this activity in that she doesn't want to be the kind of woman who just gets into other guys easily (she doesn't have to be and there is nothing wrong with doing that anyway). So she said she is not sure if this is a "one and done" thing for her or not. She is enjoying it more now, but it still doesn't fit who she is in her mind. She is having trouble integrating this into herself. She asked me point blank yesterday, "If I only do this (chatting or camming only) one time and never again is that better than me never doing anything with another guy"? She followed up with, "If you think it would bother you more that I will only do this once, I would rather cut it off now than mess with your emotions ". (This is why I trust her so much) I thought about it and realized I would much rather have even just this experience than nothing and told her so. I also admitted that I would be very disappointed and I know she knows that, but I would still rather have this than nothing. That did seem to ease her mind a bit. She then said, "I can't say that I would never do this kind of thing again, but right now I don't know what my answer will be after this is done". So that is the little bit that still keeps my feet on the ground. She is well aware that I can spiral into my fantasies but that I have no expectations of any of them coming true until she decides she wants to make that leap. What I have on my side is that I know her well and I have seen her when she has finally come off other fences. She doesn't look back and she really enjoys herself freely as long as there isn't too deep an analysis. Right now... I just need to keep enjoying the ride as SHE drives (we talked about that in a nearly literal sense this weekend and she likes that she is at the wheel)! [Edited because autocorrect on my phone made a lot of this NOT make sense the first time around]

[Christinebitg]

<< What if M turns out to be something I am ultimately not interested in..." >>

Well, nobody is asking her to marry him. Or as my girlfriend sometimes says, "He's just 'Entertainment Guy.' "

My term for that is that he doesn't have to be Mr. Right. He just would be Mr. Right Now.

[hotwifegoddes4u]

Another small update. Last night my wife had another chat session with her Skype friend M. Unfortunately, he was a little late. She has limited time due to her mom duties. We originally planned on her chatting with M from 7:30 to 9:00. He sent a message around 7:25 saying he would be on closer to 8:00. My wife was pretty laid back about it and said that if he was busy we might be able to do Sunday. He responded by saying he definitely still wanted to chat with her AND he wants Sunday too.

This is where things get interesting. Earlier on my wife was thinking she would only do this once every two weeks, maybe once a week occasionally. But it's become mostly a weekly thing. The big change tonight was that at the end of their chat, he asked about Sunday. She said yes! No hesitation, only the comment that as long as our weekend works out as planned, she could chat with him Sunday. This is the first time she has broken her rule about it not being that frequent an occurrence.

More interesting changes in her too versus at the start. This week she updated her social media profile pic. Nothing overtly sexy, but she had a slightly sultry look on her face (that's all that was showing since she is a G rated wife and mom by day) and the picture was definitely sexy to me. She got a lot of likes for it. I think some of her newfound horniness and confidence in her looks was showing through.

The past two chat sessions she also wore something sexy. This was probably because she was planning on taking pictures and sending them to M on Skype. Last week she wore a black, very short silk kimono style robe with a sexy pair of red panties. Last night she had black panties on and a sheer, black, patterned "Cammie". She looked great both times. She also fixed up her hair and touched up her makeup for him as well.

Probably the BIGGEST thing that happened last night was that she actually used her vibrator during the chat session for a bit and got herself off. I set her up for that last week but it didn't happen because she didn't want to stop typing/reading and didn't think she could do it one handed. But last night, when they had gotten to a particularly hot part of the chat session, she told him she was going to use her vibe and needed to be hands free for a little bit. He said to go for it. So she did. Within two minutes she had a fast but hard orgasm, thinking about him. He helped by sending some live pictures that she didn't need to read...

When she got back on to chat with him, she said, "I did the thing! So much fun! I had a very pleasurable (and fast and hard) orgasm." He replied, "Really?! You were able to cum???" to which she said, "Yes I was able to cum. Quite easily." That has been on repeat in my head all night. The fact that my shy, quiet wife said, "So much fun!" about having an orgasm while chatting with another guy, BECAUSE of chatting with another guy is super hot.

Here is a sampling of some of what they said that led up to this. Their chat is definitely really hot now.

Him: You straddled on top of me in just your panties as we make out passionately. Getting deeper and hotter with each kiss!

Her: You know how wet I am because those panties don't hide it much. But I want to tease this out for awhile.

Him: I love it - you can feel how hard I am for you and I can feel how wet you are for me! When I feel you drip a little, you feel me start to get harder and throb… I ask you if we can slide those panties off so I can have a taste…

Her: Yes...that is exactly what I want to feel. I am ready to let those panties go. I feel like I am going to get my favorite treat soon!

Him: I take you by your hips, flip you on your back…slide your panties down with my teeth while making eye contact with you . I then softly kiss from your feet, up your legs to your thighs, and then give a big French kiss to your tight, wet pussy!

Her: Yes!! Please!! I love that...

Him: I kiss, lick, and slightly nibble on your inner thighs and pussy. I kiss your pussy lips, suck and lightly flick your clit with the tip of my tongue, and then lick from your ass, all the way up to your clit - my whole tongue covering you from bottom to top…

Her: You are going to love what comes next because...when I have been cumming that way before your cock ever gets inside of me, I am so beyond ready to fuck. It will make me able to stay in the zone a lot longer

That is when she said she was going to go for her vibe and had her first orgasm during "cyber" with another guy. She also got him to cum last week and last night! Here are a few of the hot things she said to him to make him cum.

Him: If we were together up in your attic right now, what would you want?? It’s your night!!!

Her: I would be ready for your cock to get deep into my pussy. I would enjoy laying on my back tonight with my legs spread as wide as i can get them and I would take my fingers and open up my pussy lips and invite you inside.

Him: How would you like to watch me grab your hips and fuck you from behind while bent over in the bathroom?

Her: Are you good and hard right now? I would love to see us in the mirror...

He said he was going to send a photo to which she replied, "If I was going to suck you off I would wear some lipstick that you would like to leave you a little reminder on your shaft. I am ready to see this photo!"

He sent it and she immediately said the following:

Her: Damn! Get me some of that! Yes...I would bend over for that in a New York Minute!

Him: Would you get on your knees for it first?!

Her: I would get on my knees. And stay there for awhile having your cock in my mouth as far as I can take it.

If only she was describing something that would happen in the near future! Whatever the case, even if this is all she ever does, it's more than she's ever done before and I am loving it!

The other little pattern I noticed is that she breaks her curfew a little now. Last night she chatted until 9:15. Cutting it very close to the point where she has to be the "good mom" again. She was saying she would probably try to end before 9:00. I told her to go as long as she wanted even if it cut into our post-chat playtime. Well... She did! That tells me she both likes this, and she was really interested in making him cum again, which she did.

When she was done she called me up to the attic for a brief playtime. Her pussy was even wetter than it has been the last few weeks if that is possible. I have NEVER seen or felt her like this. Not even when we were dating in our 20s! It didn't take me long to get hard and want to fuck her. She was busy using her vibe, an I just entered her pretty quickly. We fucked vigorously for the few minutes we had and her eyes were closed right and she was moaning and yelling, "Oh fuck! Oh my god!!! Ohhh fuck!!! Shit!!! Oh my fucking god"!!!! I pulled out for a bit to stroke and watch her some more and said, "Pretty nice, huh"? With a really big smile on her face she said, "Yeah... You were right, this is pretty good. Guess what... This IS 'guacamole'. I resisted it for a long time and now I am thinking why didn't I try this sooner"?! (She hated guacamole for most of her life, until she tried it. Now she LOVES guacamole and finds it irresistible)

If other couples' patterns apply here, this might become addictive for her. I am hoping so, because that would definitely overrule the part of her that gives her the self-judgemental feelings. Fingers crossed, this becomes HIGHLY addictive for her. I know that some folks say, be careful what you wish for, but I am certain I want a wife who is addicted to intense orgasms and pleasure with others and me! She said she could never cuckold me because she can't imagine herself hooking up frequently enough to satisfy her own needs and she wants sex more than once every month or two. So she feels it is better to fuck me and whoever else she would be with. All hypothetical, assuming she can get past her nerves.

The fact that she wants to chat with M on Sunday is a VERY good sign. A very good sign indeed.

[hotwifegoddes4u]

One small detail I forgot to mention before. Her usual pattern so far has been... On the day of the chat, a little dread (been decreasing each time), butterflies when she starts, then she gets into it and has fun for the 1+ hours she is on with him. Afterwards, she is usually going to pick the kids up from their jobs or social engagements which, for her, is an abrupt and uncomfortable shift. So she basically needs to turn off everything that just happened. That is when her self-judgy side comes out. "This is ridiculous! A woman my age playing with someone that young! I am a mom! Oh my god if the kids found out! I tell them to not play this way online and here I am doing it! What's wrong with me"!

But the time the kids turn in for the night she is getting that "skeevy" feeling (her word) about what happened and the last thing she wants to do is think about it or focus on it with me. Which is why we basically need to play as soon as she is done chatting and before she goes to get the kids. I understand all of this and just give her some close cuddle time. I think that helps her. Last week when this happened she said she felt like she was cheating on me even though I know and encourage it. So she said it's her "hang up" and she is trying to figure out how to deal with it.

Given how well last night went, I did hazard a question about things after hours and said, "This is the only question I will ask about your chat session tonight. Is that internal judgemental feeling a little less intense tonight? In other words do you feel like you're getting used to it?" She said, "Yes. It is a little less strong tonight. I think maybe you're right and I will get used to this over time". I left it at that because I didn't want her to get into anything negative around this experience.

Her usual pattern between chats is that the next night she might be up for some quiet sex between us (usually no privacy the night after her chats). The next night (if we're alone in the house) is usually MUCH hotter with her focusing on her last chat session and getting really wet and letting loose with all kinds of hot experiences with me. The weekend usually follows and we have some good talk around what's been going on. Some of it titillating, some of it logistical, some of it learning more about what each of us expects/allows and a lot of it with me trying to help her work through the conflicted feelings she has about playing around with someone else. There might be some time to fool around on the weekends too, depending on the kids' schedules. This Sunday looks like a possibility, but since she might be using some or all of that time to chat with M, it's hard to say if she and I will fuck or not. Most of the time, she feels pretty good/hot until the day of the next chat and this pattern repeats.

I have to say that getting her from anonymous camming on Adult Friend Finder and other sites (public camming with no interaction on her part) to one-on-one "cyber" with M in less than two months is really something unexpected. She was looking for the reason why she opened up and she says it's probably because things have been so hard (personally and globally) for the past decade that maybe she just hit her "why the hell not? Everything else sucks right now" phase. I think it might be hormonal as well since she finally exited menopause this past year. I am hoping she is one of those women who get a uptick in their libido after menopause. No need to really know the reason, but I think it might help her to accept the change she is experiencing a little easier if she did.

[Long Lurker 34]

One small detail I forgot to mention before. Her usual pattern so far has been... On the day of the chat, a little dread (been decreasing each time), butterflies when she starts, then she gets into it and has fun for the 1+ hours she is on with him. Afterwards, she is usually going to pick the kids up from their jobs or social engagements which, for her, is an abrupt and uncomfortable shift. So she basically needs to turn off everything that just happened. That is when her self-judgy side comes out. "This is ridiculous! A woman my age playing with someone that young! I am a mom! Oh my god if the kids found out! I tell them to not play this way online and here I am doing it! What's wrong with me"!

HWG

So correct me if I have this wrong:

-She 'plays' with M
-You and her cuddle
-She feels self-judgy
-Then goes and pick up kids and gets back to normal headspace.

Is it possible for you to pick up the kids and let her 'wind' down from her encounter from M less abruptly? Which may allow her to relish her fun time more and fell less self judgy.

[hotwifegoddes4u]

I can always ask her if she'd like that. But, it would only buy her ten minutes or so. What really needs to happen is she needs to understand that there is nothing wrong with what she is doing. But it's 50 years of social programming that she is fighting against. She is fully aware of that. The best she can hope for, she said, is that she just slowly normalizes this and learns to put those feelings aside. She knows that I don't think any less of her. She knows that M doesn't think anything negative about her. And we strive to keep this all private. Most of her concerns are around the wrong people finding out.

That's where I think the talks she and I have might help. She already acknowledges that she isn't a "slut" who is "ruining her marriage" even if people did find out and said exactly that about her. She agrees that I show no signs of being a "pervert" in any of my behavior, so if people called me that, it is also untrue. I think that gives her some level of internal power to build some confidence on. She has also seen how happy I have been lately. To the point where she said that I don't need to keep showing her how happy I am (I can't help it, I am SUPER happy!). So any concerns that she had about me having second thoughts or not being able to handle the reality have been dispelled. Knowing the way her mind works, I think there is a pretty strong possibility that she will hit her stride with this and it will become yet another thing she does. She actually called it her "new hobby" last night which is a step in that direction.

Right now she says that the only thing standing between her and real life hotwife action is a VERY BIG list of real worries and hangups about the lifestyle versus who she is as a person. This is something she never thought she would ever participate in or consider. And now... she is dipping her toes in it and finding that, yes, this is actually a lot of fun. That doesn't make the worries and hangups go away though. But as our experiment, so far, has proven, she can get to a head space where she is a-OK with something to the point that she freely admits to liking it. Last night was another breakthrough because that smile and her admitting that she went from no interest to really liking the entire experience is something she would not have believed before she had her first chat on 2/9/2022. So a little over a month to go from humoring me somewhat and maybe a little curious on here side to REALLY getting off hard and getting unbelievably wet and excited.

Your suggestion is definitely something for me to try. We'll see if she wants that extra few minutes to revel in the experience. At this point, since we are in uncharted territory, she might say yes. She has surprised me in a number of ways the past few weeks. Thank you for the suggestion!

[Bent_n_Twisted]

One small detail I forgot to mention before. Her usual pattern so far has been... On the day of the chat, a little dread (been decreasing each time), butterflies when she starts, then she gets into it and has fun for the 1+ hours she is on with him. Afterwards, she is usually going to pick the kids up from their jobs or social engagements which, for her, is an abrupt and uncomfortable shift. So she basically needs to turn off everything that just happened. That is when her self-judgy side comes out. "This is ridiculous! A woman my age playing with someone that young! I am a mom! Oh my god if the kids found out! I tell them to not play this way online and here I am doing it! What's wrong with me"!

HWG

So correct me if I have this wrong:

-She 'plays' with M
-You and her cuddle
-She feels self-judgy
-Then goes and pick up kids and gets back to normal headspace.

Is it possible for you to pick up the kids and let her 'wind' down from her encounter from M less abruptly? Which may allow her to relish her fun time more and fell less self judgy.

If the kids are old enough to work, why are they not old enough to manage their own transportation?

When I wanted to start earning my own money, I was pointedly informed that I would not be getting any kind of 'assistance'- it would be entirely my responsibility, no one was going to drive me around. Where I grew up, there was also no such thing as 'public transportation' so I either walked or rode a bicycle until I was able to buy a car (and later, a motorcycle when I was finally old enough to get a learner's permit because it was legal to ride alone on just the permit...yes, I bought the car and drove it with out a license, registration or insurance, not recommended but things were a little different back then).

[hotwifegoddes4u]

Bent_and_Twisted. It is probably more of a generational difference than anything else (They are both Zoomers, and although we're GenXers, we are a lot more like Millennials in the way we operate). Not living in the suburbs, we have to be a bit more careful with the kids too, especially later at night. They can both drive, but we only have two cars, neither of which is theirs. So, my wife feels better (maybe out of habit of being "mom" for all these years) dropping them off and picking them up. When they each head off to college (if that is what they choose) they will be pretty much on their own from a logistical standpoint (still reliant on us for money of course).

Honestly though, I think my wife would be more of a wreck if they went to work via car. Mainly because one or both of them might come home sooner than expected. She already feels that way when they just hang out with friends. No schedule there, so we generally don't get a chance to play when they are out with friends unless it is someplace far. We almost got caught once when one of the kids that we thought had left for the mall with a friend was still actually next door! We were just about to get undressed when we heard the side door open and the kid come running up the stairs. After that, my wife didn't want to fool around until we saw the car leave the drive and a good 15-20 minutes passed. The mall is about 45 minutes away in the suburbs, so that would give us a safe amount of time in case someone turned around.

We certainly don't wish for our kids childhoods to end so fast, but we will probably have more peace of mind for these kinds of games when they are both away at college or living with friends in another part of town. One is definitely college bound. The other... I am not so sure. Was hard getting them to even do homework. That is why they are both going to graduate the same year even though one is older. :/ It is likely we will be empty nesting in fall of 2024.

[Bent_n_Twisted]

It is probably more of a generational difference than anything else (They are both Zoomers, and although we're GenXers, we are a lot more like Millennials in the way we operate). Not living in the suburbs, we have to be a bit more careful with the kids too, especially later at night. They can both drive, but we only have two cars, neither of which is theirs. So, my wife feels better (maybe out of habit of being "mom" for all these years) dropping them off and picking them up. ...We certainly don't wish for our kids childhoods to end so fast, but we will probably have more peace of mind for these kinds of games when they are both away at college or living with friends in another part of town. One is definitely college bound. The other... I am not so sure. Was hard getting them to even do homework. That is why they are both going to graduate the same year even though one is older. :/ It is likely we will be empty nesting in fall of 2024.

Ah, I get the picture. You may be right about 'generational differences'. I grew up small town/rural and 'responsibility' started early, and it was more than 50 years ago. I went to work full-time when I was 12, while still going to school. Different times, places, situations.

[hotwifegoddes4u]

My wife will be chatting with her Skype friend M again tonight. As I mentioned in my previous post, some interesting shifts have happened. The first is that she agreed to chat with him last Sunday. That might not seem like a big deal, but for her Sundays are the least sexy day of the week. She has errands to run and likes to plan the week out carefully, so she tends to be tired by early evening and just wants to chill in a non-sexual way. We have had to "make do" from time to time if the kids' schedules were such that Sunday evening was our only alone time. But, those sessions tend to be the least energetic of a typical week, when they happen.

So for her to offer up a Sunday evening to M was actually a big deal. The fact that she came twice with him and once with me is also a big deal. She is going to be taking some time off from him next week just because her week then will be a bit crazy with extra stuff she doesn't normally deal with. So she said that is why she front loaded with three sessions with him (last Wenesday and Sunday, and then tonight). She could easily have told him just Wednesdays and never done the Sunday. But... I think she might be starting to want this more than she admits. She definitely told me that she is looking forward to her chats with him now and it is easier for her to get into enjoying them with him. (I am super proud of her for trying this. I know it was a big hurdle for her!)

But tonight is equally as interesting. Normally they've been chatting between about 7:00 and 9:00 PM on Wednesdays. (Heh. Was supposed to be once every other week, but it's been almost weekly now!) Tonight, M has a work dinner to go to and he won't be available until 9:00. That is poorly timed with our family schedule because the kids will be back around 9:30 and won't be in for the night until about 10:30 at earliest. Amazingly, she agreed to still chat with him from about 10:30 to midnight tonight! That is also huge because she is generally not a late night person and is typically getting ready to sleep just around midnight.

She is a bit nervous about tonight because it will be the first time she has tried this with the family being home. The chances she will get into it as much as usual are probably pretty darned slim. But she is still going to try anyway. We have a small, quiet vibrator that she will try tonight if she gets to that point but the chances are low. To make it even more limited, the only place we have to play in the house is the attic. She normally comes up there with me after the kids are on their own for the night and we hang out and maybe quietly play. Since I will be there, she will also have that hurdle to overcome. As it stands, the deck is probably stacked against us having much fun with this tonight. But I am pretty sure she will work hard to make M cum again. I said I could be her photographer/videographer so she could be free to chat. She did appreciate that since she finds taking selfies a bit distracting.

Now she probably won't make it the entire 10:30 to midnight time frame. My guess is she will be starting a bit late and then probably bowing out just before midnight. Especially since today was her early day for work. If she actually does manage to have a good time tonight, that will be further proof that she is really into this more than she admits. While I am wishing for the moon, I am not expecting much just to avoid any kind of disappointment.

She does very coyly admit things to me. During her Sunday session with M, he said he liked her bra and panties when she sent him a selfie featuring them. What surprised me was that she told him that when she got dressed in the morning, she had him in mind. I found that super fucking hot. When I asked her about it, she kind of laughed nervously and said, "Well that's what I told him"! So Monday night when we had some play time of our own, I decided to ask her again when she was NOT cumming or playing with her vibe. That time she very quietly and meekly said, "Yeah... I did think about what to wear for him while I was getting dressed. I know he likes those matching bra and panties sets on me".

I cannot, for the life of me, figure out when this coy thing will stop. We both know she is enjoying herself now. She knows that I am not upset, hurt or bothered by it, but to the contrary, I am elated beyond belief and it's all I think about now. She knows that she is not doing anything wrong in the context of her relationship with me or her connection with M. I keep hoping she will get comfortable with herself being involved in this and just respond with something like, "Hell yeah I was thinking about him when I picked that outfit! I have been hot for him all day"! Probably will never happen because she still states that she is happy having this being a very small sliver of her week. Less than 1% of it, with the rest being "normal" stuff. However, the fact is, she DID put those on for him. THAT is hot! She knows and acknowledges that this is hot. I guess she still needs the illusion that she is still the "good girl" that I DON'T want her to be anymore.

I should also clarify, I am not mad about any of the above. If anything, it's an expression of my impatience. I SO want her to jump into the deep end of the HW lifestyle, and THAT desire is what I have to control. So I am venting a little here so I don't fuck things up. She has made amazing progress. In less than two months she's gone from, "We"ll see. I don't even know if I can do this ", to taking selfies for M, masturbating with M on Skype chat, dressing up for M, feeling really sexy about herself, being wet almost daily because of M, actually wearing some sexy outfits (which she stopped doing a few years ago when she felt "too old") and letting me take pictures and post them on our adult accounts, admitting that she likes the experience with M and LOVES the really intense orgasms she has been having when I fuck or eat her and she thinks of him.

So yeah... A LOT of progress and I am extremely happy about it. Just need to step back and let her do what she wants, even if it is the occasional backing away. We talked a little about the ebb and flow that folks here talk about and she agrees that is the way she feels too. But it's been growing on her, so the seed is planted and taking root quickly.

Will she cross into real life action? At this point I think the best option is for her to get really comfortable with camming with M whenever that happens. Then M will eventually ask her about a meet up. If she says yes for a non-sexual meet up, I will definitely be encouraging her but not pushing. If I am along with her (and I get the impression that is what she wants just for safety), and if she is hitting it off with M, I will definitely be plying her with a few drinks. Funny because I am a teetotaler and when we first met we had arguments about drinking. You would have never seen me encouraging her to drink. But she and I see it as being necessary for even a meet up. She said she will need some wine for her first cam session with him too.

If, and this is a BIG if, she met up with him and decided to go back to his hotel room and have a first experience, she has told me that any successive experiences would not require any alcohol at all (not that she wouldn't, but just that it would be needed). Yeah, she and I have talked it out that far recently which gets me hot as well. And we have talked that out, outside of the bedroom when she has given me the greenlight to talk about it occasionally.

One thing I know about her is that with her ex, before they fucked while she and I were dating, she told me, "No way. Nothing is going to happen" when I gave her permission. Then when she called and admitted that something happened, she held back some info. She said it was just her getting eaten out and then giving him a BJ to completion the night before. When we talked later that morning she admitted to fucking him when they woke up. Then she said, "He's gotten WAY more than he should have. So nothing else is going to happen this weekend". Come Monday when I saw her again, she sucked him off a few more times, he ate her out just as many times and they fucked quite a few times as well. So she has a habit of downplaying the possibilities of things like this happening and then goes much farther than she said she would or planned to. That is the one thing that gives me hope for some future point where she might become a real hotwife. Just meeting him for drinks could very well run into a fun night of fucking for them. Just meeting him once could turn into 2, 5, 10 times. Just seeing him twice a year could turn into seeing him once a month. Do I have proof any of this would happen? Not really, I only have what happened with her ex and what's happened with her Skype sessions with M. She has gone farther than she planned in both cases, and she also had a lot more fun than she expected out of both experiences. Uncharted territory, but with educated guesses based on current experience... Again, wish me luck folks!