What is at the core of our desire?

[tiedyeHotwife]

My husband describes it as -
"reliving those moments when you first met, when you were trying to seduce her and of course you knew someone else has been fucking her. In fact you know she has an entire history of sexual partners that you are highly motivated to outperform and make her yours".
"your wife was sexiest on those first dates, her pants were tighter, skirts shorter, much more cleavage because she was seducing you"
"so having your wife dress like that, fuck someone else and come home is the closest you can get to that first time rush"

In my case, on the night I new I wanted to fuck my now husband, I know I wore my lowest cut top and was happily bending over the pool table to show him the goods. Leather pants too.

And I love walking out the door dressed that sexy just to torture him now.

[philxxo]

i’m transgender. i’ve always been transgender, though i didn’t always have the language or the understanding to describe myself this way. i put this up front because it is an important aspect of my becoming a cuckold.

i had a twofold attraction to being cuckolded, initially. one aspect came from the fact that at the time of my first cuckold experience, i was married to a very attractive and sexually active woman who also had great personal power. i was not a beta male in any way, though my innate femininity was always there under a thin veneer. i like the Native American description of transness as being two-spirit. i don’t believe that acknowledging and living one’s femininity necessarily entails being beta. i digress.

i lived with a great fear during that short marriage that she would cheat on me and she did. only once, however, during an argument near the end of our time together, did she admit to having cheated. i suspect that once when she climbed atop me and straddled my head that she was feeding me some lover’s cream pie. i was in denial then, but i’m sure of it now.

at the time of our marriage, i hadn’t the understanding of being trans. i hadn’t been aware of the concept. i was pretty sure that i wasn’t gay, not being attracted to boys or men, but i also could only ever get off by imagining myself in the role of a woman. my femininity was not, however, only attached to my sexuality. it was so much more than a kink. the kink part of it was only a surface expression of what lay beneath.

though i feared that she would cheat on me and felt that i would like to hurt the lovers i imagined her having, i would also find myself unavoidably imagining her being fucked by others when i masturbated. i think that at the time it was a way for me to process my fear, redirecting it towards something i could enjoy, if not control. the loss of control was in fact deeply erotic to me, both my loss of control over her sexuality (i then had a rather primitive conception of partnership), and loss of control over my own. as much as the man in me was jealous of her lover, giving her the pleasure that i should be giving her, i was jealous of her sexuality, open in a way that my fear and ignorance would not let me be.

i had some long term heterosexual relationships after the marriage. i traveled extensively for work for months at a time. it was during a long term relationship with another powerful woman that i first became a cognizant cuck and encouraged this partner to take on lovers and to share with me the intimate details of their relationships. as with others, these experiences brought us closer together and increased the openness of our communication and trust. during this relationship i was still unaware of the language and description of transgender.

during another relationship sometime later, another long distance relationship, i encouraged my partner to take lovers. it was at this time that i learned about being transgender and it clicked perfectly, aligning with who i always knew myself to be. with this partner i explored my feminine sexuality vicariously through her and her adventures. she was the first person i ever came out to and she was fully aware of why i wanted what i wanted and cooperated fully with my desires.

i’m happy to answer any further questions. thanks for your attention.

I didn't follow this at first thinking it couldn't possibly be related. After reading through all of it I now see the connection. Essentially you are living vicariously through the woman. I totally relate to that. I don't consider myself transgender at all. I am slightly bisexual. However, I think a lot now about wishing that I were another man's hotwife LOL. How much fun and how exciting that would be. Men and women are treated differently in the dating game. I think we men naturally think how great it would be if we had total sexual freedom and just have random sex with whoever. It doesn't work that way for most men of course. If a woman is reasonably attractive and spreads her legs, she can get laid anywhere by almost anybody - married, single, young, old, any race. At least that is the way men see it, I'm sure it's not quite that simple. I think a lot of the fantasy is that we live through our wives sexuality and enjoy it. I often think I wish my wife would fuck that guy, or that guy over there. If I were a woman, I would want to fuck that guy, or I would want this or that. It's not so easy for men and we always wish for what we don't have. Last night my wife and I were talking. She is still trying to wrap her head around my wife sharing desires. She essentially said, everywhere she has been, she always has had "opportunities", even at church. Men looking at her, flirting, or hitting on her. She has always known and experienced that. Her attitude was essentially "been there and done that." So she is not really interested in playing around anymore. I was just sitting there thinking how great that would have been to have had that in my life. And since I didn't have that, I wish my wife would do that for me now and I could live vicariously through her and enjoy the ride. LOL.

[runaway]

We’ve been married over 40 years and we love each other deeply. She has never been with another man - or woman - and while our sex life is great I’d like her to have great sexual experiences with another loving, respectful man who is well endowed and can last a long time. I guess I feel that she’s missed out on some of life’s experiences. I feel warm inside at the thought of her having great sex with someone else with my blessing. So I guess it’s compersion in my case.

Oh yeah, and I love worshipping her beautiful size 7 feet. She responds very vocally to having a deep, strong foot rub and her soft feminine voice is all the encouragement I need.

[safira]

sorry. trying to delete this post and failing.

[safira]

I didn't follow this at first thinking it couldn't possibly be related. After reading through all of it I now see the connection. Essentially you are living vicariously through the woman. I totally relate to that. I don't consider myself transgender at all. I am slightly bisexual. However, I think a lot now about wishing that I were another man's hotwife LOL. How much fun and how exciting that would be. Men and women are treated differently in the dating game. I think we men naturally think how great it would be if we had total sexual freedom and just have random sex with whoever. It doesn't work that way for most men of course. If a woman is reasonably attractive and spreads her legs, she can get laid anywhere by almost anybody - married, single, young, old, any race. At least that is the way men see it, I'm sure it's not quite that simple. I think a lot of the fantasy is that we live through our wives sexuality and enjoy it. I often think I wish my wife would fuck that guy, or that guy over there. If I were a woman, I would want to fuck that guy, or I would want this or that. It's not so easy for men and we always wish for what we don't have. Last night my wife and I were talking. She is still trying to wrap her head around my wife sharing desires. She essentially said, everywhere she has been, she always has had "opportunities", even at church. Men looking at her, flirting, or hitting on her. She has always known and experienced that. Her attitude was essentially "been there and done that." So she is not really interested in playing around anymore. I was just sitting there thinking how great that would have been to have had that in my life. And since I didn't have that, I wish my wife would do that for me now and I could live vicariously through her and enjoy the ride. LOL.

Tireseus, to the question of who has the greater sexual pleasure, answered: “a man enjoyed one-tenth of the pleasure and a woman nine-tenths.”

[snoogaloo82]

I didn't follow this at first thinking it couldn't possibly be related. After reading through all of it I now see the connection. Essentially you are living vicariously through the woman. I totally relate to that. I don't consider myself transgender at all. I am slightly bisexual. However, I think a lot now about wishing that I were another man's hotwife LOL. How much fun and how exciting that would be. Men and women are treated differently in the dating game. I think we men naturally think how great it would be if we had total sexual freedom and just have random sex with whoever. It doesn't work that way for most men of course. If a woman is reasonably attractive and spreads her legs, she can get laid anywhere by almost anybody - married, single, young, old, any race. At least that is the way men see it, I'm sure it's not quite that simple. I think a lot of the fantasy is that we live through our wives sexuality and enjoy it. I often think I wish my wife would fuck that guy, or that guy over there. If I were a woman, I would want to fuck that guy, or I would want this or that. It's not so easy for men and we always wish for what we don't have. Last night my wife and I were talking. She is still trying to wrap her head around my wife sharing desires. She essentially said, everywhere she has been, she always has had "opportunities", even at church. Men looking at her, flirting, or hitting on her. She has always known and experienced that. Her attitude was essentially "been there and done that." So she is not really interested in playing around anymore. I was just sitting there thinking how great that would have been to have had that in my life. And since I didn't have that, I wish my wife would do that for me now and I could live vicariously through her and enjoy the ride. LOL.

Tireseus, to the question of who has the greater sexual pleasure, answered: “a man enjoyed one-tenth of the pleasure and a woman nine-tenths.”

Personally I think it's 50% Nature and 50% Nurture that creates this behavior. It's not just one thing to me. To me it's a multitude of various things that happened in his lifetime and partly his genes.

[anneshubby2]

Penthouse Letters planted the seed. Literotica made the seed grow into an incredible large tree.

[snoogaloo82]

Penthouse Letters planted the seed. Literotica made the seed grow into an incredible large tree.

I absolutely LOVE literotica! its such an unknown place for many. i think its got some amazing stories...well of course there are the duds, but then again a writer has to start somewhere! i know, as that was my case...I wrote some stories that were definitely no good, but then a couple of editors helped me out and i did much better!

[Shiphead]

Penthouse Letters planted the seed. Literotica made the seed grow into an incredible large tree.

I second Penthouse Forum. It completely changed my interests in Hotwifing. Though it wasn't called that yet.

[snoogaloo82]

Penthouse Letters planted the seed. Literotica made the seed grow into an incredible large tree.

I second Penthouse Forum. It completely changed my interests in Hotwifing. Though it wasn't called that yet.

You know, now that I think about it, Penthouse Forum did have an effect on me!

[safira]

… in his lifetime and partly his genes.

about whom are you referring here?

[snoogaloo82]

… in his lifetime and partly his genes.

about whom are you referring here?

in other words it is partly what has happened to him in his life, and partly to do with his DNA

[safira]

… in his lifetime and partly his genes.

about whom are you referring here?

in other words it is partly what has happened to him in his life, and partly to do with his DNA

who is “him”?

[snoogaloo82]

… in his lifetime and partly his genes.

about whom are you referring here?

in other words it is partly what has happened to him in his life, and partly to do with his DNA

who is “him”?

him as to whomever this may be happening to

[leggysman]

who is “him”?

him as to whomever this may be happening to

As in the prototypical husband of the OP's question, or her/they in your case, right? I don't think anyone is referring to your very particular case at this point, safira

[snoogaloo82]

who is “him”?

him as to whomever this may be happening to

As in the prototypical husband of the OP's question, or her/they in your case, right? I don't think anyone is referring to your very particular case at this point, safira

thank you...i'm not referring to any particular person, i'm referring to whomever. or is that whoever? lol

[redsamples]

Where does a man’s desire for his partner to have sex with someone else come from? Why would a man be turned on by this? Do the roots of this desire stem from a self loathing, or an unhealthy place within us? Are we repeating some childhood trauma?

Whats the biological reason for so many guys,like me, being crazy for feet? No reason comes to my mind. Cuck fantasies may be like foot fetish guys.

I have to agree, for some reason seeing her soles and toes is an important part of it. I have always had a “thing” for wife’s feet, she takes great care of them and they are very sexy. When I picture who she has played with in the past, there is always the image of her bare feet in the air or on his shoulders. I have seen this be a pretty common theme in this lifestyle. I guess it’s maybe a sign of submission or being “into it”.

[feetuji]

Yeah, indeed! This week I had a nice footjb from my wife, something she didnt to me for some time (I will recount the story perhaps in the thread "small stuff", in the Wannabe section).

[Des 31]

I really don't know with certainty. I have read many psychology articles and related materials, but haven't found any that I think fit with exactness. I'm sure it includes some combination of many reasons posted here by others, but there's something else within my psyche I haven't been able to fathom.

I gave up asking myself this question. I just like it a lot when other men are fucking my wife.

[upright]

I have come to realize my cuckold desires have been present since my late teens early twenties with the core being compersion. I recall any jealousy I did have also included a sexual component which eventually took over. Over the years I have become more sexually submissive especially to dominate men. I have also found it is a fantasy that only continued to grow. Even as a wannabe a big turning point was accepting my place especially around dominate men.

[snoogaloo82]

I have come to realize my cuckold desires have been present since my late teens early twenties with the core being compersion. I recall any jealousy I did have also included a sexual component which eventually took over. Over the years I have become more sexually submissive especially to dominate men. I have also found it is a fantasy that only continued to grow. Even as a wannabe a big turning point was accepting my place especially around dominate men.

It sounds like you have found a home here. There's so much information available here, and there are many of us who have probably experienced what you're going through so feel free to post anything you can think of be it a question or a comment. Everything cuck is welcomed here.

[upright]

I have come to realize my cuckold desires have been present since my late teens early twenties with the core being compersion. I recall any jealousy I did have also included a sexual component which eventually took over. Over the years I have become more sexually submissive especially to dominate men. I have also found it is a fantasy that only continued to grow. Even as a wannabe a big turning point was accepting my place especially around dominate men.

It sounds like you have found a home here. There's so much information available here, and there are many of us who have probably experienced what you're going through so feel free to post anything you can think of be it a question or a comment. Everything cuck is welcomed here.

Thanks!