Fantasy originated with sexual inadequacy & ‘non-intentional’ humiliation

[Gmor]

Like most people on this site, I have a strong cuckold fantasies. For me these are driven from my real-life experiences of sexual insufficiency/inadequacy often along with some inadvertent or non-intentional humiliation.

Im still a “Wannabe” as far as my wife is concerned (while mostly a ‘Wannabe’ but this requires an explanation), but I have been a cuckold in a serious relationship in the past.

A big part of my experience is that in the three most significant relationships of my life (including my marriage) I have been unable to or had great difficulty fully satisfying my partner in bed. And while in all three of these cases the women still enjoyed the sex there was always an underlying current of them desiring ‘more’ or being ‘curious’ if they might be better/fully satisfied under different circumstances. All these women eventually sought out (or in the case of my wife it occurred at the beginning of the relationship while we were just dating) a very well-endowed man (or men) to meet these unsatisfied needs. As you may have presumed, I’m smaller than average and while I realize that for some women this doesn’t matter that much, for these specific women (again, the most important three in my life) I learned that size most definitely matters.

A further part of my fantasy is that any sexual humiliation that occurs is non-intentional or inadvertent. As an example, its never the case where my partner purposefully humiliates me or get any pleasure out of this. Yet humiliation / emasculation still most definitely occurred simply through their actions (eg cheating; purposely seeking out an affair partner who was much better endowed; or my learning that in their affairs they were able to reach levels of ecstasy never possible between us). Alternatively, this emasculation occurs ‘accidently’ (eg. overhearing my wife talking to a friend about her past, bigger and far more successful boyfriend; or my realizing that the massive dildo she brought home from her girls weekend as a ‘gag’ gift, and that was never used was actually being used 4-6x per week).

I have lots of stories if anyone is interested. Happy to share.

[hubudig2]

Size does and doesn't matter for all different reasons at the same time, it's a fun mind fuck.
Were you always insecure about your size?

I'm always interested to hear about people's journeys into cuckolding, especially from a psychological point of view.
What do you think your very first realisation that it turned you on was?
Where did it go from there?

[BBCfan]

You make a great point Gmor,
In another post a guy was saying how all cucks are kind of the same, but I've felt no arousal whatsoever from blatant cheating or disrespect.

But certainly the non intentional feelings of inadequacy and humiliation ignited my hot wife fantasy with wife.

I will enjoy hearing any details you feel like sharing, as the unIntentional times my wife made me feel that way are etched in my brain and are still arousing to me.

[MelJames84]

Everyone is different, but I have a feeling of inadequacy too (smaller than average) and I want my wife to be totally fulfilled sexually…and if I can watch that happen, even better!!

[philxxo]

Everyone is different, but I have a feeling of inadequacy too (smaller than average) and I want my wife to be totally fulfilled sexually…and if I can watch that happen, even better!!

I'm average, not small, but this is exactly how I feel. My cuckold fantasies went into overdrive when I started getting older and having some erection and stamina problems. I tell my wife, there are guys out there who can do a much better job than me at this. We should let some of those guys have a whirl at it.

[snoogaloo82]

Everyone is different, but I have a feeling of inadequacy too (smaller than average) and I want my wife to be totally fulfilled sexually…and if I can watch that happen, even better!!

I'm average, not small, but this is exactly how I feel. My cuckold fantasies went into overdrive when I started getting older and having some erection and stamina problems. I tell my wife, there are guys out there who can do a much better job than me at this. We should let some of those guys have a whirl at it.

I've been thinking the same thing.

[Gmor]

Im the OP. Thanks for the responses.

Were you always insecure about your size?

I was not always insecure about my size, but rather this built up over time as I was in a series of relationships where I realized some women preferred very large men who were in turn able to better satisfy them.

I also realized slowly that I was excited by the thought of my partner being with other men. This certainly occurred the first time i was cheated on although i didnt know what cuckolding was at the time and their were also all the pain of infidelity that went along with it.

I have a number of experiences I can share about either infidelity or hearing/learning about experiences the women Ive been in relationships and their ex-boyfriends.

This story is from the time when I overheard my wife and was about a year into our marriage. Our sex life had already tailed off but to no where near the extent that it has today. Her maid of honour was in town from overseas and they had gone out with a bunch of friends and returned to our house for a glass of wine. I had been at home asleep but had a cold and developed some symptoms which I felt might contagious. We lived in a small two-story apartment in an old house. It was a one bedroom with a tiny ‘study’ in the front above the family room. Because I felt I was contagious I moved a mattress into that room and was sleeping in there when they got home. I also had to move some things around to make room for the mattress including uncovering a vent which allowed sound to transfer between rooms almost unabated. This is the conversation that occurred to the best of my recollection.

Sophie (my wife’s friend): “So was Neil big?” (Niel is my wife’s ex who she dated for 5 years before me and we broke up a couple of times and she went back to him during to our ‘courting’ period). I still remember when these first words were uttered; I froze and became immediately erect.
Wife: “Who have you been talking to? Yes, he was absolutely huge.”
Sophie: How was the sex? Isnt it a lot better with a big guy.
The girls both spoke for about five minutes about how much better the sex was a man with a large penis. This was incredibly erotic but also so out of place. For my wife because she would just never talk about something like this and for Sophie because I didn’t think she had sex that much. My wife was pretty specific about why he was so much better. Sophie asked her if he was the biggest and the best she had ever had and my wife responded empathetically that he was significantly bigger and better than any of her other partners (although she never compared him to me directly). She explained that he could delay his orgasm for up to 30 minutes and all the time he would be giving her super intense climax after climax.
Finally, Sophie asked my wife if I was able to satisfy her in bed. I also remember her response like it was yesterday.
Wife: No, Gmor has never been able to bring me to orgasm. Silence for a few moments.
Sophie: Is he small. More silence.
Wife: Yes.

I think about this conversation regularly.

[hubudig2]

The fantasy originated for me similarly but from the opposite perspective.
Growing up, I never considered my cock to be large (I'm a girthy 8-9 inches). I considered it to be normal sized and everyone else was small but it wasn't something I ever gave much consideration.
My first sexual experiences were with a friend's girlfriend.
He was asleep (beneath her), we were all a bit drunk and on the same sofa.
She started stroking the bulge in my jeans and she quickly got excited/aggressive enough that she accidently woke her bf up without realising or caring that she had.
I could see that he was aware of what was happening but he pretended to be asleep for everything that followed so I didn't stop her.
At the time I had no significant experiences to compare to, I was confused about why he allowed it and thought maybe this girl was just really slutty.
I'd always heard that it was difficult to make a woman cum so I didn't expect to on my first time but this girl was cumming repeatedly. I assumed she was faking it or trying to give me a porn-like experience but it turns out she was genuinely having mind-blowing orgasms.
I couldn't see what all the fuss was about, without much clue what I was doing I had managed to give this girl an experience so good that she went and told all of her friends about it. It turns out his cock was small and he couldn't make her cum, she had been craving a proper fuck.
Soon after, her friends (some with bfs) seemed to start having excuses for contacting me out of the blue, needing a lift from somewhere etc.
Each experience thereafter made me realise that I had a gift, that girls would willingly cheat for me and guys would for some reason accept it.
Having that power became such a turn on but I felt like an asshole for exploiting it. I still didn't understand that guys could be turned on by this or that cuckolding was a thing until a few years later.

[snoogaloo82]

Im the OP. Thanks for the responses.

Were you always insecure about your size?

I was not always insecure about my size, but rather this built up over time as I was in a series of relationships where I realized some women preferred very large men who were in turn able to better satisfy them.

I also realized slowly that I was excited by the thought of my partner being with other men. This certainly occurred the first time i was cheated on although i didnt know what cuckolding was at the time and their were also all the pain of infidelity that went along with it.

I have a number of experiences I can share about either infidelity or hearing/learning about experiences the women Ive been in relationships and their ex-boyfriends.

This story is from the time when I overheard my wife and was about a year into our marriage. Our sex life had already tailed off but to no where near the extent that it has today. Her maid of honour was in town from overseas and they had gone out with a bunch of friends and returned to our house for a glass of wine. I had been at home asleep but had a cold and developed some symptoms which I felt might contagious. We lived in a small two-story apartment in an old house. It was a one bedroom with a tiny ‘study’ in the front above the family room. Because I felt I was contagious I moved a mattress into that room and was sleeping in there when they got home. I also had to move some things around to make room for the mattress including uncovering a vent which allowed sound to transfer between rooms almost unabated. This is the conversation that occurred to the best of my recollection.

Sophie (my wife’s friend): “So was Neil big?” (Niel is my wife’s ex who she dated for 5 years before me and we broke up a couple of times and she went back to him during to our ‘courting’ period). I still remember when these first words were uttered; I froze and became immediately erect.
Wife: “Who have you been talking to? Yes, he was absolutely huge.”
Sophie: How was the sex? Isnt it a lot better with a big guy.
The girls both spoke for about five minutes about how much better the sex was a man with a large penis. This was incredibly erotic but also so out of place. For my wife because she would just never talk about something like this and for Sophie because I didn’t think she had sex that much. My wife was pretty specific about why he was so much better. Sophie asked her if he was the biggest and the best she had ever had and my wife responded empathetically that he was significantly bigger and better than any of her other partners (although she never compared him to me directly). She explained that he could delay his orgasm for up to 30 minutes and all the time he would be giving her super intense climax after climax.
Finally, Sophie asked my wife if I was able to satisfy her in bed. I also remember her response like it was yesterday.
Wife: No, Gmor has never been able to bring me to orgasm. Silence for a few moments.
Sophie: Is he small. More silence.
Wife: Yes.

I think about this conversation regularly.

yikes! that's so sad! i'm feeling for you dude!

[philxxo]

Im the OP. Thanks for the responses.

Were you always insecure about your size?

I was not always insecure about my size, but rather this built up over time as I was in a series of relationships where I realized some women preferred very large men who were in turn able to better satisfy them.

I also realized slowly that I was excited by the thought of my partner being with other men. This certainly occurred the first time i was cheated on although i didnt know what cuckolding was at the time and their were also all the pain of infidelity that went along with it.

I have a number of experiences I can share about either infidelity or hearing/learning about experiences the women Ive been in relationships and their ex-boyfriends.

This story is from the time when I overheard my wife and was about a year into our marriage. Our sex life had already tailed off but to no where near the extent that it has today. Her maid of honour was in town from overseas and they had gone out with a bunch of friends and returned to our house for a glass of wine. I had been at home asleep but had a cold and developed some symptoms which I felt might contagious. We lived in a small two-story apartment in an old house. It was a one bedroom with a tiny ‘study’ in the front above the family room. Because I felt I was contagious I moved a mattress into that room and was sleeping in there when they got home. I also had to move some things around to make room for the mattress including uncovering a vent which allowed sound to transfer between rooms almost unabated. This is the conversation that occurred to the best of my recollection.

Sophie (my wife’s friend): “So was Neil big?” (Niel is my wife’s ex who she dated for 5 years before me and we broke up a couple of times and she went back to him during to our ‘courting’ period). I still remember when these first words were uttered; I froze and became immediately erect.
Wife: “Who have you been talking to? Yes, he was absolutely huge.”
Sophie: How was the sex? Isnt it a lot better with a big guy.
The girls both spoke for about five minutes about how much better the sex was a man with a large penis. This was incredibly erotic but also so out of place. For my wife because she would just never talk about something like this and for Sophie because I didn’t think she had sex that much. My wife was pretty specific about why he was so much better. Sophie asked her if he was the biggest and the best she had ever had and my wife responded empathetically that he was significantly bigger and better than any of her other partners (although she never compared him to me directly). She explained that he could delay his orgasm for up to 30 minutes and all the time he would be giving her super intense climax after climax.
Finally, Sophie asked my wife if I was able to satisfy her in bed. I also remember her response like it was yesterday.
Wife: No, Gmor has never been able to bring me to orgasm. Silence for a few moments.
Sophie: Is he small. More silence.
Wife: Yes.

I think about this conversation regularly.

Ouch! That had to sting. Well on the flip side, at least you are turned on by cuckolding. I think it would be much worse for me feeling somewhat inadequate if I were not able to accept the thought of my wife with someone else. I have gotten older and don't have the sexual prowess that I once had. I am willing to accept feelings of jealousy and face them head on. My wife still won't take the bait though.

[snoogaloo82]

Ouch! That had to sting. Well on the flip side, at least you are turned on by cuckolding. I think it would be much worse for me feeling somewhat inadequate if I were not able to accept the thought of my wife with someone else. I have gotten older and don't have the sexual prowess that I once had. I am willing to accept feelings of jealousy and face them head on. My wife still won't take the bait though.

Have you tried having her read the book: The Faithful Hotwife
it has ways that you can test the waters with her without either of you having to be unfaithful with each other.
I'd definitely recommend it...it's a good read!