am now in the wannabe ranks

[snoogaloo82]

Sadly I have to say I am now among the wannabe ranks. Marion, after the Fidel incident, decided she's had enough of being a hotwife. This was a long time ago, and in the meantime she has pretended to be still interested in dating other guys. I don't know what else to say. If anyone has any experience with this please let me know as I would be very interested in learning about how to be able to take the demotion.

[mfm4bnc]

sorry :-( I am a has-been wannabe too

[BBCfan]

Honest conversation and see what happens?

If she truly wants monogamy and you can't be that guy, or you can't be with a monogamous woman, it doesn't seem fulfilling for either side to pretend to be something they can't be and not really fair for either of you to settle for less than you want.

I would say if you feel that you need this in your life then you should look for someone that's compatible, especially since you're not married and still in a long distance relationship.

Plenty of fish in the sea.
Wish you all the best.

[leggysman]

It seems like it's only been a few weeks (2 months?) since you said her FWB physically attacked her. I'd give her more time to sort out her feelings about that. If you back off the hotwife talk and let her heal and get some distance from the bad experience, you might find that she comes to a different decision. Or maybe not. She's human.

But, if she is firmly against being non-monogamous again, there's another way to look at it: she did it. She engaged with your kink and tried it. That's a big deal. It's good to be grateful about these things. If leggysandy said she was "done" I'd be sad for sure, but I'd also still be thankful for the memories she's given me. I wouldn't even consider for a moment leaving her! (but, we're married, with kids, live in the same country+house etc)

I think you should put the relationship before the kink. You're luckier than most wannabes, in that you're with someone who gave it a go. Maybe she'll come around again. Support her and have patience, friend. I hope everything works out for you two.

[Her number1]

It seems like it's only been a few weeks (2 months?) since you said her FWB physically attacked her. I'd give her more time to sort out her feelings about that. If you back off the hotwife talk and let her heal and get some distance from the bad experience, you might find that she comes to a different decision. Or maybe not. She's human.

But, if she is firmly against being non-monogamous again, there's another way to look at it: she did it. She engaged with your kink and tried it. That's a big deal. It's good to be grateful about these things. If leggysandy said she was "done" I'd be sad for sure, but I'd also still be thankful for the memories she's given me. I wouldn't even consider for a moment leaving her! (but, we're married, with kids, live in the same country+house etc)

I think you should put the relationship before the kink. You're luckier than most wannabes, in that you're with someone who gave it a go. Maybe she'll come around again. Support her and have patience, friend. I hope everything works out for you two.

[snoogaloo82]

sorry :-( I am a has-been wannabe too

thank you for your support!

[snoogaloo82]

Honest conversation and see what happens?

If she truly wants monogamy and you can't be that guy, or you can't be with a monogamous woman, it doesn't seem fulfilling for either side to pretend to be something they can't be and not really fair for either of you to settle for less than you want.

I would say if you feel that you need this in your life then you should look for someone that's compatible, especially since you're not married and still in a long distance relationship.

Plenty of fish in the sea.
Wish you all the best.

Thank you for your kindness and advice. I will take what you said to heart. Thank you again for being here for me.

[snoogaloo82]

It seems like it's only been a few weeks (2 months?) since you said her FWB physically attacked her. I'd give her more time to sort out her feelings about that. If you back off the hotwife talk and let her heal and get some distance from the bad experience, you might find that she comes to a different decision. Or maybe not. She's human.

But, if she is firmly against being non-monogamous again, there's another way to look at it: she did it. She engaged with your kink and tried it. That's a big deal. It's good to be grateful about these things. If leggysandy said she was "done" I'd be sad for sure, but I'd also still be thankful for the memories she's given me. I wouldn't even consider for a moment leaving her! (but, we're married, with kids, live in the same country+house etc)

I think you should put the relationship before the kink. You're luckier than most wannabes, in that you're with someone who gave it a go. Maybe she'll come around again. Support her and have patience, friend. I hope everything works out for you two.

Thank you for your kindness and advice! You're so very right in that she did provide me some amazing memories!

Who knows, time may heal the wounds, but again maybe they might not. We'll have to see. Thanks again for everything!!

[snoogaloo82]

It seems like it's only been a few weeks (2 months?) since you said her FWB physically attacked her. I'd give her more time to sort out her feelings about that. If you back off the hotwife talk and let her heal and get some distance from the bad experience, you might find that she comes to a different decision. Or maybe not. She's human.

But, if she is firmly against being non-monogamous again, there's another way to look at it: she did it. She engaged with your kink and tried it. That's a big deal. It's good to be grateful about these things. If leggysandy said she was "done" I'd be sad for sure, but I'd also still be thankful for the memories she's given me. I wouldn't even consider for a moment leaving her! (but, we're married, with kids, live in the same country+house etc)

I think you should put the relationship before the kink. You're luckier than most wannabes, in that you're with someone who gave it a go. Maybe she'll come around again. Support her and have patience, friend. I hope everything works out for you two.

thanks for the positive influence!!

[2inUPMichigan]

Assault is not an easy thing to put behind you.
The trust she had in him was broken and she may be second guessing her own judgment.

How can she trust it will never happen again?
The honest answer is that it could unfortunately happen. Is she prepared physically, sexually, mentally and emotionally to put herself in a situation where a certain amount of risk is involved?

It just may not be worth it to her.

Being naked in a room with someone that you do not know very well puts you in a very vulnerable position.

You do not live anywhere near her so there is no opportunity for you to rescue her if she runs into trouble.
She has to feel completely confident that she could prevent any future issues. Her safety comes before any other consideration. Without backup she is on her own.

If she doesn't have the skills to get herself out if a bad situation then she has made the best decision she can for herself by stopping play dates.

When her emotions heal more she may be interested in fantasy role play with you.

A couple months is not a lot of time to fully process an incident like that.

[snoogaloo82]

Assault is not an easy thing to put behind you.
The trust she had in him was broken and she may be second guessing her own judgment.

How can she trust it will never happen again?
The honest answer is that it could unfortunately happen. Is she prepared physically, sexually, mentally and emotionally to put herself in a situation where a certain amount of risk is involved?

It just may not be worth it to her.

Being naked in a room with someone that you do not know very well puts you in a very vulnerable position.

You do not live anywhere near her so there is no opportunity for you to rescue her if she runs into trouble.
She has to feel completely confident that she could prevent any future issues. Her safety comes before any other consideration. Without backup she is on her own.

If she doesn't have the skills to get herself out if a bad situation then she has made the best decision she can for herself by stopping play dates.

When her emotions heal more she may be interested in fantasy role play with you.

A couple months is not a lot of time to fully process an incident like that.

Thank you for all the useful information of what she is going through. I would have no idea what she is probably going through. Her and I are at odds with each other right now. Nothing to do with the incident with Fidel...it's more a monetary issue we're having. And she has asked me not to talk with her until she talks with me first. So wish us luck in that we're able to work things out. This is the first 24 hours we haven't talked with each other.