Are we chasing higher dopamine hits? Please advise, share

[Surrey]

I never thought i was into this, and i had watched hotwife porn before.
It changed when i noticed how much guys were into my wife.

We had a long spell where we didnt go out at all (partly covid, partly complacency).
Many times when my wife would go out, guys would try to pick her up.

Something changed when i noticed it firsthand. We were at a bar, i stepped away for a bit, and when i came back there were a group of guys around her.
She is in her late 30s, and i was suprised when much younger guys approached her. I saw her put her up ring with a "im married" type of motion with her hand, and the guys didnt seem to care.


At first it was interesting, but then i intensely started to get aroused. Its like a stop viewing her as "my wife" but saw her as a "sexual being".


My next step was to get her to dress more sexy. She's all for that (within reason, but iam trying to push boundries). This also has me intensely aroused.

Shes super conservative, but i would slowly like her to try her being a hotwife. This feels like my most intense sexual need.

But then i ask myself, why???

Am i being selfish, this is all about me.
Am i just chasing a high?
Am i just excited because this is all a fantasy? Can this even happen.

So many questions, i just dont know.
Please share anything that may help, or please share your story.

[Bluetoed]

Some husbands want it because they are thinking about themselves and how they would get off from it.

Some other husbands want it because they want their wife to experience new and different pleasures that they are not experiencing simply because culture tells us it's wrong.

There are other reasons too, but those are the two major ones.

[calicolombia69]

In my case its a validation that I did make the right choice! If just about every man in a bar, restaurant or beach is taking a look at her, then I did pick the right tits and ass to spend the rest of my life with!

Recently, its also a validation for her, that now that she crossed 50, guys of all ages still look at her sexually.

[Surrey]

50 guys, wow. Is it still fun after 50 guys or does the excitement wear off a bit?

[aleksander]

Some husbands want it because they are thinking about themselves and how they would get off from it.

Some other husbands want it because they want their wife to experience new and different pleasures that they are not experiencing simply because culture tells us it's wrong.

There are other reasons too, but those are the two major ones.

... and most seem to be in the first category. These seem to be the folks that concentrate on "how many (or how big)", "BBC", "eating creampie / sucking cock." You might say, porn visual driven. None of these topics have ever excited any of the (small amount) of women I've had relationships with.

On the other hand, it can be approached in a pushing of boundaries of society way. I do speak to my wife of how we define a relationship, not what people tell us it is. We're totally satisfied sexually with each other, we've explored every single thing two people can do to each other that we want to do. The natural progression is other people. To capture that "new" feeling. To be desired again. On my hand, to touch jealousy, but from a distance. To feel a small bit of competition, to experience her sexuality as the experience is expressed to me.

It might sound flowery, but with the right foundation and conversations (and years of talk in my case), it can be possible.

[Midnight Joker]

I'm sure porn has a lot to do with this. You'll notice yourself seeking more extreme genre, especially if you edge yourself for long periods of time. I've had a cuckold fantasy for years, yet I often feel guilty after we've had sex with a lot of cuckold talk. Yet soon after I'm thinking of her getting fucked again.

[philxxo]

I'm sure porn has a lot to do with this. You'll notice yourself seeking more extreme genre, especially if you edge yourself for long periods of time. I've had a cuckold fantasy for years, yet I often feel guilty after we've had sex with a lot of cuckold talk. Yet soon after I'm thinking of her getting fucked again.

This is the truth. I think this is largely porn-driven for most guys. I know cuckolding has always been out there, but I think it's gone into overdrive because of the porn culture that we live in. We have trained our brains to get off on voyeurism, hence the desire to watch our wives get fucked by someone else.

[Bluetoed]

I'm sure porn has a lot to do with this. You'll notice yourself seeking more extreme genre, especially if you edge yourself for long periods of time. I've had a cuckold fantasy for years, yet I often feel guilty after we've had sex with a lot of cuckold talk. Yet soon after I'm thinking of her getting fucked again.

This is the truth. I think this is largely porn-driven for most guys. I know cuckolding has always been out there, but I think it's gone into overdrive because of the porn culture that we live in. We have trained our brains to get off on voyeurism, hence the desire to watch our wives get fucked by someone else.

I think porn has increased the awareness that a lot of men find the thought of their wife having sex with another man arousing to them.

Before porn dove in the deep end with cuckolding/hotwifing, I think a lot of men had the turn on already someone in their minds, but nothing in their life had triggered it to that point for them to discover it turns them on. The triggering discovery before porn latched on to this was pretty much limited to guys who got cheated on. And a lot of them concluded being cheated on caused them to become a cuckold. Whereas the truth is they were wired to be a cuckold before being cheated on and they discovered it by being cheated on, just like porn is now making a lot of men discover they are wired to like it too.