Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[Farmgirl]

I have 3 questions and I would really appreciate your honest answers.
1. What kind of aftercare do you provide for your husband
2. I know for most husbands aftercare is extremely important, how important is it for the Hotwife
3. If aftercare is important for you (Hotwife) what kind is the best.

The aftercare I provide for my husband is the same as the care I provide preplay. He is the love of my life before and after and I make sure he not only knows it, but feels it as well.
I want the same from him; to be "first", loved, cherished, supported, honored.

[Subolko84]

Thank you for reply, would you be able to share how you make him feel that he is your #1,and what can a husband do to show the wife, besides of course the basic things.

[Farmgirl]

Thank you for reply, would you be able to share how you make him feel that he is your #1,and what can a husband do to show the wife, besides of course the basic things.

It is the basic things! I put him first in my life, and he puts me first in his. Really think about what I just said. Consider what it means to actually make someone else feel they are first in your life.
It really is that simple.

[Mountainwild]

I have started talking with a few potential playmates online. I am just starting out as a hotwife and still learning. One thing I am struggling with that I am hoping others will have some ideas on or share what they do.

So before meeting a guy for a play date I want to get to know them first via chatting online and text. Then meet for a non play meeting to see a couple of thing; one make sure they match their pictures they shared, that they can still communicate in person not just via text, and if there is a connection in person.

Here is where I struggle, I don't want to always meet for drinks in a bar. I tried meeting at a coffee shop but since there were lots of people and even kids it felt uncomfortable talking about sex and expectations. But I want to first meet in a more public safe space. So where do you do meet and greets?

[Mrs L 88]

I have started talking with a few potential playmates online. I am just starting out as a hotwife and still learning. One thing I am struggling with that I am hoping others will have some ideas on or share what they do.

So before meeting a guy for a play date I want to get to know them first via chatting online and text. Then meet for a non play meeting to see a couple of thing; one make sure they match their pictures they shared, that they can still communicate in person not just via text, and if there is a connection in person.

Here is where I struggle, I don't want to always meet for drinks in a bar. I tried meeting at a coffee shop but since there were lots of people and even kids it felt uncomfortable talking about sex and expectations. But I want to first meet in a more public safe space. So where do you do meet and greets?

We met at a bar/restaurant. That way there is booth type seating and we specified that we only wanted drinks therefore we were offered a more private seating area.

[Mountainwild]

I have started talking with a few potential playmates online. I am just starting out as a hotwife and still learning. One thing I am struggling with that I am hoping others will have some ideas on or share what they do.

So before meeting a guy for a play date I want to get to know them first via chatting online and text. Then meet for a non play meeting to see a couple of thing; one make sure they match their pictures they shared, that they can still communicate in person not just via text, and if there is a connection in person.

Here is where I struggle, I don't want to always meet for drinks in a bar. I tried meeting at a coffee shop but since there were lots of people and even kids it felt uncomfortable talking about sex and expectations. But I want to first meet in a more public safe space. So where do you do meet and greets?

We met at a bar/restaurant. That way there is booth type seating and we specified that we only wanted drinks therefore we were offered a more private seating area.

Thank you! I will keep that in mind for the next meet up. I hadn't thought about still going to a restaurant and just not getting drinks.

[Farmgirl]

I have started talking with a few potential playmates online. I am just starting out as a hotwife and still learning. One thing I am struggling with that I am hoping others will have some ideas on or share what they do.

So before meeting a guy for a play date I want to get to know them first via chatting online and text. Then meet for a non play meeting to see a couple of thing; one make sure they match their pictures they shared, that they can still communicate in person not just via text, and if there is a connection in person.

Here is where I struggle, I don't want to always meet for drinks in a bar. I tried meeting at a coffee shop but since there were lots of people and even kids it felt uncomfortable talking about sex and expectations. But I want to first meet in a more public safe space. So where do you do meet and greets?

I would do the coffee shop thing. I don't eavesdrop on other's conversations, so if they choose to eavesdrop on mine, that is their problem. Maybe try a different coffee shop, I go to a lot, and have never seen very many kids.

[Newcuck614]

I had been bi-curious for quite some time and my hotwife always showed interest in me exploring my curiosity. When she finally found a bull and made me her cuckold, I sucked my first cock (her bull) for atleast a hour while they made out and fooled around.

He expressed how well I did for being my first time and she said she instantly got wet the second his cock entered my mouth. It now has become expected of me to suck his cock whenever he wants. I love it so I don't mind at all.

My question is, do hotwifes generally like seeing their cuck in the submissive/bi sexual role, willing to please the bull anyway they can?

[2inUPMichigan]

I had been bi-curious for quite some time and my hotwife always showed interest in me exploring my curiosity. When she finally found a bull and made me her cuckold, I sucked my first cock (her bull) for atleast a hour while they made out and fooled around.

He expressed how well I did for being my first time and she said she instantly got wet the second his cock entered my mouth. It now has become expected of me to suck his cock whenever he wants. I love it so I don't mind at all.

My question is, do hotwifes generally like seeing their cuck in the submissive/bi sexual role, willing to please the bull anyway they can?

That's great that the two of you are sexually compatible and have found what turns both of you on!

Each couple is different as is each hotwife. I would not say that hotwives "generally like seeing their cuck in the submissive/ bi sexual role". Being submissive does not necessarily mean that someone is bisexual those are two different things.

Not all hotwives want to see their husband's in a submissive role. And neither do they all want to see them in a bisexual role. However there are some that do. It worked out great for you that your wife likes you in that role!

[Farmgirl]

I had been bi-curious for quite some time and my hotwife always showed interest in me exploring my curiosity. When she finally found a bull and made me her cuckold, I sucked my first cock (her bull) for atleast a hour while they made out and fooled around.

He expressed how well I did for being my first time and she said she instantly got wet the second his cock entered my mouth. It now has become expected of me to suck his cock whenever he wants. I love it so I don't mind at all.

My question is, do hotwifes generally like seeing their cuck in the submissive/bi sexual role, willing to please the bull anyway they can?

There is no "generally" when it comes to things like this, each Hotwife is different. Some will like what you describe; some will enjoy that their husband gets so turned on; some just put up with it because their husband likes it, and some will not want anything to do with it at all.
When you talk of submissive/bisexual, they are two separate things. You can, of course, be both, but they're not tied together.
Being dominant, I do like a touch of deferral from my men, but I don't want a submissive man. I want a strong man that defers to me. MM play is a turn-off for me. I say this to show that we all have our ways of doing things.
You and your wife seem to have found yours.

[BallSpanking]

I do like a touch of deferral from my men, but I don't want a submissive man. I want a strong man that defers to me.

Isn't that mere courtesy?

[Farmgirl]

I do like a touch of deferral from my men, but I don't want a submissive man. I want a strong man that defers to me.

Isn't that mere courtesy?

Courtesy is never mere .

[solstice]

Farmgirl wrote: I do like a touch of deferral from my men, but I don't want a submissive man. I want a strong man that defers to me.

If he does not start out with your exacting requirements, if he is wise he will develope them.

[Farmgirl]

Farmgirl wrote: I do like a touch of deferral from my men, but I don't want a submissive man. I want a strong man that defers to me.

If he does not start out with your exacting requirements, if he is wise he will develope them.

The pleasant thing is: I've never had a real man, a strong man, not submit and defer to me. Lesser men can be too weak to do so, but not so with a real man.

Careful though, that there is a question required for this forum.

[Cuckedinsecret]

Hello, I don't have much experience on this forum, nor in the HW lifestyle (2 different sates is all we have).

My question for you ladies is, is this a lifestyle that ages well? Right now, it seems like it's super hot to think of my wife aging while playing with multiple men. Does it get more fun, more exciting or less fun and exciting? What are the draw backs and pros of aging while playing with multiple men?

[Farmgirl]

Hello, I don't have much experience on this forum, nor in the HW lifestyle (2 different sates is all we have).

My question for you ladies is, is this a lifestyle that ages well? Right now, it seems like it's super hot to think of my wife aging while playing with multiple men. Does it get more fun, more exciting or less fun and exciting? What are the draw backs and pros of aging while playing with multiple men?

The lifestyle ages as well as the couple living it. I have been a Hotwife for almost 28 years now, having started when I was 37. There are many wives older than me that are enjoying other men regularly, just as I intend to be doing for several more years. I don't see the pros and cons of ageing while playing with other men any different than the pros and cons of ageing while playing any other sport .
.

[justdreaming]

My wife and I dabbled in hotwife activities from 2006 to 2013. She had about 10 experiences with three guys. She got out of it because she felt used by the guys and felt too much pressure from me. (Yes, I know, pressuring this kind of thing is not good.)
I still have very deep desires for more hotwife stuff. She says it just ain’t going to happen, but I remember the cat-ate-canary glow to her after each of her former experiences.
How, at this point, can I hope she’ll see it in a positive light?

[Farmgirl]

My wife and I dabbled in hotwife activities from 2006 to 2013. She had about 10 experiences with three guys. She got out of it because she felt used by the guys and felt too much pressure from me. (Yes, I know, pressuring this kind of thing is not good.)
I still have very deep desires for more hotwife stuff. She says it just ain’t going to happen, but I remember the cat-ate-canary glow to her after each of her former experiences.
How, at this point, can I hope she’ll see it in a positive light?

At this point, you have to apologize and have a good honest talk. It sounds like you tried controlling, or at least wanted it your way. That left her feeling used.
There is a decent chance that if she could do it her way, without you pushing and with her in control, she might like it. None of us like to feel used. When you talk about it, listen to her, really listen to her.
Hopefully, you can salvage the situation for her by being what you should have been in the first place.

[SSQ]

I do like a touch of deferral from my men, but I don't want a submissive man. I want a strong man that defers to me.

Isn't that mere courtesy?

That pretty much is a submissive man, frankly. Subs aren't doormats.

[SSQ]

Farmgirl wrote: I do like a touch of deferral from my men, but I don't want a submissive man. I want a strong man that defers to me.

If he does not start out with your exacting requirements, if he is wise he will develope them.

The pleasant thing is: I've never had a real man, a strong man, not submit and defer to me. Lesser men can be too weak to do so, but not so with a real man.

Careful though, that there is a question required for this forum.

I find the comment about "real men" offputting, honestly. A real man is anyone who identifies as a man. Otherwise, it's just as dehumanizing as when it is flipped around.

[Farmgirl]

Farmgirl wrote: I do like a touch of deferral from my men, but I don't want a submissive man. I want a strong man that defers to me.

If he does not start out with your exacting requirements, if he is wise he will develope them.

The pleasant thing is: I've never had a real man, a strong man, not submit and defer to me. Lesser men can be too weak to do so, but not so with a real man.

Careful though, that there is a question required for this forum.

I find the comment about "real men" offputting, honestly. A real man is anyone who identifies as a man. Otherwise, it's just as dehumanizing as when it is flipped around.

I could have said alpha male, nonsubmissive man, or any of other similar terms that carry the same connotation in the context I was using it. The person I was replying to knew what I was talking about.
And no, a real man is not anyone who identifies as one.

[SSQ]

Farmgirl wrote: I do like a touch of deferral from my men, but I don't want a submissive man. I want a strong man that defers to me.

If he does not start out with your exacting requirements, if he is wise he will develope them.

The pleasant thing is: I've never had a real man, a strong man, not submit and defer to me. Lesser men can be too weak to do so, but not so with a real man.

Careful though, that there is a question required for this forum.

I find the comment about "real men" offputting, honestly. A real man is anyone who identifies as a man. Otherwise, it's just as dehumanizing as when it is flipped around.

I could have said alpha male, nonsubmissive man, or any of other similar terms that carry the same connotation in the context I was using it. The person I was replying to knew what I was talking about.
And no, a real man is not anyone who identifies as one.

Just because someone understands what you mean doesn't mean that it's an okay usage. If I say "black" everyone would know exactly what I mean, for example. It's still unacceptable and derogatory.

I think alpha male is an equally harmful trope. People are people.

I don't think it's okay to tell someone what their identity is. You wouldn't like it if someone did it to you. It's harmful and always a personal attack.

Full stop- people are who they say they are. Someone else's views on gender stereotypes does not determine a person's worth or identity.

[Farmgirl]

The pleasant thing is: I've never had a real man, a strong man, not submit and defer to me. Lesser men can be too weak to do so, but not so with a real man.

Careful though, that there is a question required for this forum.

I find the comment about "real men" offputting, honestly. A real man is anyone who identifies as a man. Otherwise, it's just as dehumanizing as when it is flipped around.

I could have said alpha male, nonsubmissive man, or any of other similar terms that carry the same connotation in the context I was using it. The person I was replying to knew what I was talking about.
And no, a real man is not anyone who identifies as one.

Just because someone understands what you mean doesn't mean that it's an okay usage. If I say "black" everyone would know exactly what I mean, for example. It's still unacceptable and derogatory.

I think alpha male is an equally harmful trope. People are people.

I don't think it's okay to tell someone what their identity is. You wouldn't like it if someone did it to you. It's harmful and always a personal attack.

Full stop- people are who they say they are. Someone else's views on gender stereotypes does not determine a person's worth or identity.

And, just because you think something I say isn't okay usage doesn't make it wrong for me to use it that way. You and I live in different worlds with different cultures. You don't get to decide what is okay for me and where I live.
The highlighted part is utter nonsense where I live, black is not derogatory, and is very acceptable.
"Full stop"- people are not always who they say they are. You can claim to be a pony, but that doesn't make you one.
All of this, I'm sure doesn't play well in your circle, but many of us don't live in that little circle. If you don't like how people from other areas speak, just don't read it.

[SSQ]

I didn't say black, actually. The board must have censored the word that I chose to use. But that certainly proves my point as to people understanding a word and it clearly being a terrible thing to say.

I will always speak up against invalidating human beings. If that is the culture, that says quite a lot.

There are members on this very message board who are trans, and many of them aren't out. Do you really think it's okay to say the kinds of things you're saying without considering the harm you're causing?

A person's personality may not be your particular cup of tea, but it doesn't make them any less of a real person.

[Farmgirl]

I didn't say black, actually. The board must have censored the word that I chose to use. But that certainly proves my point as to people understanding a word and it clearly being a terrible thing to say.

I will always speak up against invalidating human beings. If that is the culture, that says quite a lot.

There are members on this very message board who are trans, and many of them aren't out. Do you really think it's okay to say the kinds of things you're saying without considering the harm you're causing?

A person's personality may not be your particular cup of tea, but it doesn't make them any less of a real person.

So, are you saying you're the type of person that used a racial slur to get your point across, and then you want to lecture someone on what you imagine they meant, just because it didn't fit your list of chosen words and your limited understanding?
It seems to me that you were too busy invalidating an entire race of people to understand your own failed premise. So far you are the only one disparaging other people.
Are you really that insecure?