After years of fantasizing, some unlikely progress

[itsmagic1954]

Eye contact and a smile

[Long Lurker 34]

Mild update: I questioned Annie if anything/anyone had turned her on recently and she mentioned a guy at the gym. I asked her to tell me about it. She said he was very hot and looked like he had a big cock in his gym shorts. She got so worked up thinking about him that she ended masturbating and cumming in her car in the parking lot. She admitted to coming back home and cumming again on our bed while I was downstairs. Two orgasm thinking about this guys cock in less than an hour.

I love that she is able to tell me about this. I expect to get into it tonight and ask her more about it. We didn’t really get a chance to dive into all the details.

Any advice on how to better encourage her to approach this guy next time she sees him at the gym?

MOA - Simplest thing ever. She see's him doing something like a bench lift and goes over and says "I'll spot for you." An almost certainty once he's finished the set they will be talking.

[myoralannie]

Thanks guys, Annie was wiped last night so details took a backseat. She goes to the gym Tuesday night so I will broach the topic and forward the tips and see what she says.

We went to the club (non-lifestyle) over the weekend and Annie was wearing some tight blue jeans and silky blouse without a bra. Her nipples were very prominent. She looked hot. She loves to dance so she was out there on the floor for a while and it didn’t take long for this young guy to start heaping attention on her. I am sure the bra-less look didn’t hurt. He was spinning her around and she seemed to enjoy it but when she came back to the table she was perturbed w/ me bc she thought I set it up and egged this guy on. It was pretty preposterous since I was with her nearly every moment. Logic doesn’t always matter when drinking. I promised her I had zero to do w/ it but the damage was done. She didn’t appreciate my openness to her being a hotwife. This is a common tale for us.
We certainly made up over the weekend and she seems to get a re-appreciation of my desires every time we dance this dance so I am on the fence about talking about HWing so soon but I will read the room.

[myoralannie]

I posted this in Hotties but I want to keep the forum updated. Plus I have some things that are heating up.

Re-posted from the other day - I’ll try to get some more pics of her beautiful pussy.
Last night we had great session. Annie was a little inebriated. She said things like can you feel the other men’s cum in me as I was deep inside her. I asked Annie when is her pussy the most beautiful and she responded, when it is leaking another man’s cum.

I think things are going to get pretty hot for us very soon. It is obvious to me that Annie had a relationship w/ her co-worker. I have mentioned here that she blew him in her office but I did some snooping (not proud) and it certainly seems like this ‘one-time thing’ was not so one-time.
I know the office encounter happened in 2019 but I have seen texts in ‘21 in which she was planning to meet him but it fell through but the verbiage used made it easy to see that they had a thing going.

Texts like
Annie to P (we’ll call him) - “I wish you were coming back this week bc I am solo all week but we can make it work next week.” When the one visit fell through, she wrote to him “ To bad u won’t get my present (meaning gift).” Annie seems to be very playful in her texting and almost the aggressor.
I suspect they had a relationship for about 1yr and a half. I think she is hesitant to dive into w/ me bc she developed feeling and/or the sex was sooo great that she is worried how I will take it.
My plan is to confront her but not in a negative way. Tell her that I KNOW things went further and I am ok w/ it and that I suspect she doesn’t want to tell me for fear of hurting me.

I believe it is over. The texts all through ‘22 and ‘23 were uneventful and mundane. My hope is that by getting Annie to truly admit to her sexual past experiences that we can get closer and explore this.

[OZCPL]

Good luck talking with Annie. When you have decades and children invested, in a marriage, it can, in the long term, be best for all involved if it works. That is especially so for the children and grandchildren. Communication is really important and I think Annie could have a small communication problem. My wife had a big communication problem so I can, to some extent, empathise with you. My wife liked to please herself and would not admit her actions even when caught out 100%. I stuck with it and now we have the best of families.

[myoralannie]

OZCPL - it has been up and down of late. When Annie and I were playing around the weekend of 5/13, she made some hot comments but one that was unbelievable and I kind of thought it was something I dreamed up was “would you like to see a dick picture of the cock that was inside me.” This comment occurred when Annie was pretty drunk and I was not much better. I didn’t comment about it at the time bc we were in the middle of messing around. I didn’t remember it until Monday. I really wasn’t sure she said it.

I snooped again. I went through her pics and found two dick pictures of the co-worker. I was shocked and yet turned on that Annie had cock pics sent to her. I sat on the info for a bit. I wanted to confront Annie about the texts and pictures. I was hoping she would come clean after I gave her a safe landing spot. She didn’t or at least still denies that they had a real relationship or even that they fucked. She denies saying anything about a dick pic while we messed around but she obviously said it or I wouldn’t have gone looking. I know all of that is almost hard to believe but it happened…booze, too much.

I was very clear that I was ok w/ her behavior but the lack of transparency (kind wording there) was not cool. Annie says that the texts about meeting up were just banter and it never happened. When re-reading the texts, it seems highly, highly improbable that nothing happened. Annie may NEVER give me the truth. I think I need to live w/ it bc I love her and I opened this door for her. Where does this come from in me? It still turns me on. Annie hyper sexualized and receiving cock pics and ultimately, strange cock makes me hard even writing this.

Anyway, I don’t know where this goes. I don’t know how to get to the truth and I don’t know if it will lead to future fun for my hottie and I.

I’ll keep updating if activity warrants.

[sandy691196]

It is clear that Annie is a canny, smart and complicated person. She once stated that the spontaneity and naughtiness of cheating is a big turn on. She also doesn't appreciate your liking the HW thing too much, in real time. It likely makes her insecure about your love for her and how much you value her as a partner. She has literally accused you of trying to palm her off to others, when she caught you getting too excited in real situations.

It is clear she had an ongoing relationship with that office guy. It is clear she has fucked others.. including Baltimore guy. That situation and description was too real to have been a fantasy. If it was a fantasy she could have made it sound even more artificially hot- about size, looks, build and maybe even "color".

That 5 number (at least) is a certainty. Its called strategic ambiguity in geo politics. Keeps you guessing. Placates her conscience and at the same time, gives her an opportunity for credible deniability. She started recanting when she sensed that you are getting too close to the truth and she could sense your anxiety. She knows you for 30 years for God's sake!

In another thread here, a poster started with the assumption that his wife had slept with 5 guys before they met. Then they did some 3 somes during the time they were engaged. Later after marriage and more playing, it came out that she had been cheating all along and her "numbers" were humongous! By that time the OP was too deep into it to even think straight. It was a fait accompli.

I would suggest, for whatever it is worth, you put your cards on the table about "cheating and lying". She needs to know that her past lying and cheating isn't what you had signed up for when you encouraged hotwifing. Pull the plug on HW fantasies in bed and all raunchy talk otherwise. Give the cold, hurt vibes suitable of a wronged partner. You have to de-incentivise that lying and cheating. Right now you are rewarding that behaviour. Make it clear that all fun talk is off till you feel from inside that she has squared up 100% (this turns the table on her and keeps it open ended for you).

Not my place to say it but life and relationship, comes far far ahead of kinky fun and LS..

Thanks for reading through.

[Restarting]

I would suggest, for whatever it is worth, you put your cards on the table about "cheating and lying". She needs to know that her past lying and cheating isn't what you had signed up for when you encouraged hotwifing. Pull the plug on HW fantasies in bed and all raunchy talk otherwise. Give the cold, hurt vibes suitable of a wronged partner. You have to de-incentivise that lying and cheating. Right now you are rewarding that behaviour. Make it clear that all fun talk is off till you feel from inside that she has squared up 100% (this turns the table on her and keeps it open ended for you).

Not my place to say it but life and relationship, comes far far ahead of kinky fun and LS..

Thanks for reading through.

Very well said Sandy.

OZCPL had a good comment, too.

I'd argue that a true hotwife experience is not possible without full trust. Both lifestyle and marriage depend on it. The journey to full trust and honesty encounters pain and heartache. Working through every issue can be difficult but always turns out easier and better than having unresolved feelings.

The will to achieve that level of trust must be mutual to succeed. Take the challenge. Both of you do what you need to do to trust the other with everything, no secrets, no deception. Unpunished vulnerability reinforces trust. It's a lot of work (and not instantaneous).

The destination is absolutely well worth the pain and effort.

You can have no idea the level of excitement and happiness that awaits you when you get there.

Best of luck to you!

[sandy691196]

Hi Restarting. Thanks.

Would like to read your story sometime.

[Restarting]

Happy to share!

viewtopic.php?f=47&t=71892

[sandy691196]

Thanks

[myoralannie]

Sandy & Restart,
Thanks for the thoughtful responses, I see a lot of wisdom in both. The idea of going cold turkey on the HW and naughty talk is interesting except I don’t think Annie will bring it up. Stopping the talk while requiring the truth, I’ll give it a try. I don’t see it working to get to the bottom of this all but why not, nothing else has seemed to work.
I agree that her back pedaling was spawned by some angst I displayed. It is almost like I would need to get the truth elsewhere in order to get Annie to admit anything. I don’t see that happening. I know all about the co-workers identity but I can’t go down that avenue.
Not to beat a dead horse, I opened the door to this and I don’t regret the excitement but would love to graduate to more intimacy and openness.
How did u like the pics in the hotties section?

[sandy691196]

Sandy & Restart,
Thanks for the thoughtful responses, I see a lot of wisdom in both. The idea of going cold turkey on the HW and naughty talk is interesting except I don’t think Annie will bring it up. Stopping the talk while requiring the truth, I’ll give it a try. I don’t see it working to get to the bottom of this all but why not, nothing else has seemed to work.
I agree that her back pedaling was spawned by some angst I displayed. It is almost like I would need to get the truth elsewhere in order to get Annie to admit anything. I don’t see that happening. I know all about the co-workers identity but I can’t go down that avenue.
Not to beat a dead horse, I opened the door to this and I don’t regret the excitement but would love to graduate to more intimacy and openness.
How did u like the pics in the hotties section?

You know your Annie best. What works with her - what doesn't. She values the relationship and intimacy with you. Hence the coy tactics and hide & seek.
You have to give the "I am hurt.. things are not OK" vibes. That won't happen just from cooling it with the hot talk. It has to reflect in other areas of life. You have to push this angle to the point that she is forced to ask you what's wrong.
Then you lay it on the line. "I have a feeling that you have broken trust.. not by playing with guys but by hiding".. Then maintaining that stance till she starts budging.
It won't happen in one sitting. It will take time and emotional discipline. Don't lose your cool and at the same time, don't cave in..

All the best

[Shiphead]

This sounds like a disaster. Annie has been cheating all along and has at least one relationship that has been going on for a while. I think the work hubby has been involved for quite a while.
She can't let you become involved because it will screw up their relationship and you will learn how much deceit has been going on.
You did miss your chance to get some info and become involved, when she offered to show you the cock Pic that had been in her pussy. You should have stopped and said "that would be so hot for me to see". She could have gotten her phone and showed you his cock. Then you two could have talked about it. What was great about it? Did she think she would ever like bigger? Get her slightly tipsy self to share things with you. You could have kept saying how hot she is and how good that cock must have felt. You should have e kept playing with her pussyand keeping her on edge and talking.
Just continuing to give her pass and accept her continued deceit is beneath you. You deserve better. But she isn't going to stop her ongoing relationships. She has a lot to come clean about.what she has been doing behind your back for 30 years.

[Dream Weaver]

Sandy & Restart,
Thanks for the thoughtful responses, I see a lot of wisdom in both. The idea of going cold turkey on the HW and naughty talk is interesting except I don’t think Annie will bring it up. Stopping the talk while requiring the truth, I’ll give it a try. I don’t see it working to get to the bottom of this all but why not, nothing else has seemed to work.
I agree that her back pedaling was spawned by some angst I displayed. It is almost like I would need to get the truth elsewhere in order to get Annie to admit anything. I don’t see that happening. I know all about the co-workers identity but I can’t go down that avenue.
Not to beat a dead horse, I opened the door to this and I don’t regret the excitement but would love to graduate to more intimacy and openness.
How did u like the pics in the hotties section?

You know your Annie best. What works with her - what doesn't. She values the relationship and intimacy with you. Hence the coy tactics and hide & seek.
You have to give the "I am hurt.. things are not OK" vibes. That won't happen just from cooling it with the hot talk. It has to reflect in other areas of life. You have to push this angle to the point that she is forced to ask you what's wrong.
Then you lay it on the line. "I have a feeling that you have broken trust.. not by playing with guys but by hiding".. Then maintaining that stance till she starts budging.
It won't happen in one sitting. It will take time and emotional discipline. Don't lose your cool and at the same time, don't cave in..

All the best

Unfortunately I think there are some women (a not insignificant percentage) that cheat because they lack commitment to their spouse, and don't want to share any details because it's a turnoff and admission of guilt. Even if he goes cold turkey with the cuck talk... she's still going to do it. I read that earlier she claimed she cheated two years earlier "for him". Give me a break - she didn't even admit it for years. He's been checkmated into the chump zone unless she commits to a serious "cuck positive" attitude, (which I'm 99% sure goes against all her instincts.)

That being said, it's his marriage and perhaps there are aspects to this puzzle I simply don't see. I hope she shows him some kindness by learning how to be honest in real time, because trickle truth will never give him satisfaction. God she's pretty, that's for sure.

[myoralannie]

Certainly not a disaster, we are in a very loving relationship that is super exciting. We have a lot of fun together sexually and otherwise. I appreciate the concern but I am not troubled by it. Just a very kinky guy that wants to be involved in every aspect of Annie’s sexuality, real or imagined.

We have not had any experiences of late worth documenting here except lots fun together in our marital bed. We still fantasize a ton and it is a big turn on. The only pics I have of Annie lately are non-nudes so I haven’t posted.

I still keep up on OHW and thoroughly enjoy this site and the folks letting us spend a little time in their heads and relationships. Thx.

[Dream Weaver]

Certainly not a disaster, we are in a very loving relationship that is super exciting. We have a lot of fun together sexually and otherwise. I appreciate the concern but I am not troubled by it. Just a very kinky guy that wants to be involved in every aspect of Annie’s sexuality, real or imagined.

We have not had any experiences of late worth documenting here except lots fun together in our marital bed. We still fantasize a ton and it is a big turn on. The only pics I have of Annie lately are non-nudes so I haven’t posted.

I still keep up on OHW and thoroughly enjoy this site and the folks letting us spend a little time in their heads and relationships. Thx.

Oh wow! Glad to hear you are happy and healthy!