"Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

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YoungBostonM
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"Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by YoungBostonM » Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:06 pm

Reading through these threads on Craigslist Boston's Missed Connections, I miss the stickied thread on the old forum.

[url]http: //boston.craigslist.org/search/mis?query=advice&minAsk=min&maxAsk=max[/url]

The gist of the threads is that a woman posted asking for advice about her husband's fantasy to see her with another man. The responses range from "he's not normal" to "he's gay."

Does anybody have anything even resembling that old thread? It would be like a beacon of light in this ocean of ignorance.

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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by Florida Hottie » Tue Aug 07, 2007 8:26 pm

I second that. I would be good to have the content of that thread reproduced.
Caroline & Ted

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nvr2old
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Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by nvr2old » Wed Aug 08, 2007 3:36 am

I agree. I think the thread went a long ways in helping my wife and I get a grip on what we were thinking about doing. We discovered that at least we were in good company. Even though the thread eventually became repititious, it was of immense value. I guess that's why it was a 'sticky'.
I have not failed...I have just discovered 10,000 ways that do not work-Thomas Edison

Boofer

Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by Boofer » Wed Aug 08, 2007 5:58 am

Yeah, that was a good thread with replies as varied as the galaxy. In the Old School of foolin around, void of internet play, you heard that a lot, the "normal" and "gay" remark. Sometimes it was a genuine inquiry and other times a put down, making a guy look superior in her eyes. Usually they would whisper it in a wifes ear, if nothing else for laughs.

If a wife is uncertain of exactly why her husband is standing down, guys can make compelling arguments about the pinkness of the hobby. It's a lifestyle similar to Capital Punishment, you can take either side and make a good case. I like that comparison, the gallows and hotwifing.

Boofer

boisehotwifehubby

Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by boisehotwifehubby » Wed Aug 08, 2007 9:36 am

I would love to see that thread too. Scanning the net off and on for years about this lifestyle I too have encountered every opinion from mentally disturbed to evolutionary normal.

I look at it as swinging with a twist. Most swingers are educated, balanced, family people with stronger than normal marriages. Sounded like home to me. Only the politics changed with another couple, where it felt better for both of us with her playing, I found it more satisfying, and she did not feel her marriage to me was threatened.

SO I addressed all the arguments against this life style.

I am latently homosexual:
No our erotic thoughts are of women, and watching a woman and man go at it is not gay, guys watch live porn all the time. The focus is the woman and her sexuality. Yes we discuss the guys equipment and body, but that is in the context of how he will look with her, no different than picking out a favorite porn movie. Do you think people watched Mandingo for the wallpaper color? Beside the porn show stars the most favorite woman in the world, the wife.

I am not "manly"
Seems many porn sites refer to this life as the husband is a shmuck. Well I do understand the mate poaching fantasy, and it is ok for the boyfriend/bull to experience it, but within the comfort of the couple. Well look at all the Hollywood studs who are rich and good looking, their marriage disintegrate in short order. Their wives are out sneaking in no time because the marriage is not what they hoped for. We HWHubs/Cucks do not need to put on airs, we can watch him do her, and know who she loves and is coming home to. We allow wifey to live free, and thus pursue her happiness, not be tied to my macho wanna be ideas. So we live in the real world more than the John Wayne hopefuls.

The wife must not be satisfied with her husband:
What nobody ever ate some dessert after being full of a good dinner? Do we eat only at one restaurant? Variety is the spice of life. Sex between spouses of most HW couples is excellent on it's own, now put hot sex in turbo. How many typical guys complain their wives are frigid and boring. Most HW's are ready, willing, and able to take her husband to the next level. Why? Because her marriage is a happy home full of love, communication and respect. Those are the elements of a satisfying marriage, which leads to sex the vanillas only dream of.

I am looking to get rid of or I don't love my wife:
This one ticks me off. If I wanted to leave her the door works just fine. Sickos who want to tape her just to show the judge are not life stylers, they are something else. What if the other guy fucks her so good she leaves me for him? Well I am glad to have this information about her sooner than later. Odds are she was looking to leave and this gave her the excuse she was looking for. (Hardcore Cucks might look for this, but again choice) Again these are not issues of the lifestyle, they are other issues before the other ever man arrived. Loving someone so much that you would risk another lover for her? Love with out freedom is slavery, and false, we love of free will. If I wanted a cheap slut to watch fuck, I could hire a call girl. No, we want the intimate meaning this life brings for us. We love her so much we trust her to go get fucked, scream with ecstasy, and try things she did not think to try with husband. And welcome her home hotter for her than the first time you had her. Yeah we do not love our wives, enough said.

Finally, I must be insane:
So many times you hear women/men act all offended and say "leave him now, only a sicko would want you to sleep around like some slut." I bet most of them are out screwing behind someones back, they just have a power trip to be on TV trying to look important. Of course many of these negative people also say that when a woman dresses provocative she deserved to be raped and other silly statements. Some are not into the life, and that is fine. We all have the right to choose our values, not shove them down other peoples throats. Some couples use sex toys, or erotic aids to set a mood. We just go for the aid of a living person. Besides there is good evidence that we are not really hardwired to be monogamous. Women are designed to show, men are designed to watch, women can receive multi partners easier than most men. What consenting adults do that harm no one is fine. What happened to personal freedom? Yeah a happy marriage how insane is that?

BandB

Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by BandB » Wed Aug 08, 2007 7:43 pm

My wife fucks other men because that is exactly what she wanted to do.

It ain't got a damn thing to do with what I wanted. If it was something I wanted, I can tell you it would be another screwed up piece of male bullshit we read here everyday,,, or in the morning newspaper... You choose ...

I found a way to go along with it so that I would never be without her. She could have what she needed, and we could still have a family.

That is hotwifing... There is very, very, little of that here..... Yet ...

Recently,, the last real pro on this board who knew what the hell was going on said;;;; "Forget It"

Bill

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Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by 243 » Wed Aug 08, 2007 9:41 pm

I've always wanted this for a lifestyle. Early - in adolescence, I 'knew' I had to deal with the 'jealousy devil' and the early intuitive feelings I had would just drive me up the wall. Likewise, I've always been a voyeur..to have the privilege of seeing one whom you love in an ecstatic moment with another lover is simply...breathtaking.
Then too, I'm not the man I was 30 years ago (more or less) and the idea of 'cooperative' lovers for my dear woman feels very real and good. When I was 12 or 13, I began drawing figures in 3sums. My mother once found my drawings..and instead of reacting, said 'these are very good drawings..keep drawing everything you want'. I so loved her for that although we never discussed it any more. Now, I live with this extraordinary woman and truly feel that I am 'at home' with her and what we do..

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Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by Hawke82 » Wed Aug 08, 2007 9:47 pm

We both married young, and I was her first. I think part of it, was her curiousity over what she might have missed out on, and my facination with the idea. One she placed the idea in my head, it just grew, until I really wanted it to happen. Not sure why, or why I didn't feel jealous or threatened (though some jealousy came later).
Husband to verified hotwife Ladyhawke!

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bethncole

Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by bethncole » Wed Aug 08, 2007 11:02 pm

We just saw this post on BC which I guess was reposted from somewhere else, but these are the reasons why men love to watch their wives fucked by other guys. I'm gonna have to agree with about 95% of it. I'm also curious of people adding their own stuff much like the poster. Here's the link for those who are not members:

http://www.baycouples.com/swingers-forum/sf/post-4226

bethncole

Re: "Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

Unread post by bethncole » Wed Aug 08, 2007 11:06 pm

We've just posted to another very similiar thread. People should meet there for that topic :-)

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nvr2old
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Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by nvr2old » Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:39 am

I remember reading all the reasons on the original thread and exclaiming "yeah, this is why we do this!" Now suddenly as my fingers hover above the keyboard, my mind is pretty much blank. Others have said it so much better than I can. The reasons are numerous and are swirling around in my mind...pretty much in a jumbled up mess right now, but they ARE there.
What started out as my fantasy has become a very intense, hot reality for the both of us. At this time all I can do is to point out is the benefits we have reaped. She has become a very sexual woman who is filled with self confidence, and I have a rejuvinated sex drive that I figured was gone forever. We have established a level of communication that most couples would find bewildering and an excitement with each other that is pretty much unheard of after so many years of marriage. I have given up on trying to really understand exactly why I love seeing her with other men and am just basking in the fact that it is really happening to us.
I have not failed...I have just discovered 10,000 ways that do not work-Thomas Edison

Boofer

Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by Boofer » Thu Aug 09, 2007 7:47 am

I noticed the expression "moods" above. That probably is the best way to describe the lifestyle for Boofer. The problem is matching my mood with her mood. My wife would say, "are you getting kinky?" Yes, at times I felt kinky. I never viewed it as a lifestyle, rather a momentary thrill seeking experience. Our lifestyle was about "family" and good times together. Disneyland, Knotts, the beach, Lake Irvine, and a tight outfit in our little house wherever that might be. I always felt I could reel my wife in at my pleasure, and play monopoly by the fire.

My wife and I once moved to this quaint community in a nice big house, snow on the pines, and we had each other to ourselves. I felt like I was dressing her in a Barka, hiding her away, and I wanted man to see what a beautiful woman Boofer had in his possession. That was a mistake, but I couldn't help myself.

While riding me on top, or lounging around the pool, vacuuming the floor, or dressing for work, I wanted validation from other men. She never strived for this, but if a wife walks the catwalk enough, she's gonna realize her potential. At some point, I became a man in bib overalls, smelling like a coal oil lantern, married to a debutante or catwalk model. That said, I'll never forget her dancing to Brickhouse and watching other men applaud her from the back of the club in my overalls.

Moods, Boofer

hubbyhw

Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by hubbyhw » Thu Aug 09, 2007 7:46 pm

The bar is reset. She comes back a new woman. I must fuck her again to call her mine. Each time she is with another my balls build to explosion and when she comes home I reclaim her as my new wife.

boisehotwifehubby

Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by boisehotwifehubby » Fri Aug 10, 2007 7:54 am

hubbyhw wrote:The bar is reset. She comes back a new woman. I must fuck her again to call her mine. Each time she is with another my balls build to explosion and when she comes home I reclaim her as my new wife.
Do not want to sound like a chauvinists but yes there is that too, well put.

VirginiaHotwife

Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by VirginiaHotwife » Fri Aug 10, 2007 8:00 am

Why? Because she enjoys it.

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Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by Irwinhill » Fri Aug 10, 2007 11:32 am

One reason I like the HW brand of marriage is that it helps cure me of thinking possessively, of thinking that she's "my woman." I like R best when I view her as an independent person, who lives her own life largely on her own terms and yet, miraculously, has committed herself to going through life with me.

I think of my computer as MINE, ditto my car and my house and my career...

But when it comes to the one I love, ownership doesn't work. Before we tried HWing, I admit that there were months, even years, when I took R for granted, when I viewed her as "my wife" in the possessive, non-romantic sense of that phrase.

However, that rarely happens when she has another relationship. And now, even when she doesn't, knowing that it's possible reminds me to view R not as an object but rather as the free spirit that she truly is.

IH

YoungBostonM
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Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by YoungBostonM » Fri Aug 10, 2007 5:32 pm

Agatha wrote:I merged the two threads since they were talking about the same thing. Less double posting.

Sorry if it causes any confusion.
Thanks for merging the threads. I somehow missed the original when I opened a new one.

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Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by Willy and Jen » Fri Aug 10, 2007 7:20 pm

243 wrote:
I've always wanted this for a lifestyle. Early - in adolescence, I 'knew' I had to deal with the 'jealousy devil' and the early intuitive feelings I had would just drive me up the wall. Likewise, I've always been a voyeur..to have the privilege of seeing one whom you love in an ecstatic moment with another lover is simply...breathtaking.
I'm exactly the same here, have always wanted 3somes and was always a voyeur. I split up with my first wife due to her not wanting to share that lifestyle.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who know binary and those who don't.

shytalk

Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by shytalk » Sun Aug 12, 2007 3:50 am

If you enjoy watching people enjoy sex, (and I think most people do) and you like looking at your wife (and I certainly do) then it isn't a huge leap to want to see your wife enjoying sex.
I just wish my wife would see it as such and not as my "Problem". Reading through this thread it seems there are a great many who not only enjoy the lifestyle but are completely at ease with it. Good on you all, I hope to join you one day.

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Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by Irwinhill » Sun Aug 12, 2007 7:57 pm

Shytalk:

I appreciate your clear and persuasive explanation of why people might engage in 3-somes. Although I've been married to a hotwife for many years, we've never had a 3-some. It's almost always been when my wife was traveling for business or, occasionally, when I was gone. This approach has worked for us, but we have missed the exciting experience that you seek for yourself.

I hope that if the situation is right for you and your wife, someday your fantasy will become a reality. Strangers things have happened.

IH

sonny

Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by sonny » Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:48 pm

I am a fortunate guy who has a very attractive and well built wife; she loves sex, loves giving oral and so there is plenty to go around.

I kind of feel like a guy who won the lottery some 20+ years ago and sooooo, I do enjoy sharing my good fortune with the guy of her choice. She chose one special guy and that is where it stays for now. If that relationship goes south, I sure do hope she will choose another guy again, as this has been so good for all of us!

Sonny

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Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by odyexplorer » Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:14 am

I personally think, from reading around and a bit from personal experience, that hotwifing with only one other lover, or one who's overwhelmingly who she does or wants to see most, is one of the most or perhaps the most dangerous ways to pursue the various forms of this lifestyle.

See my most recent comment in "when the hotwife and bull fall or each other" thread of mark123 on the cuckold form. It along with the two other earlier threads of mark on the same subject, started in the hotwife forum, but was moved over by mods ass his and his wife's experiences developed. She's now divorcing him to marry her lover.

What are others thoughts?

sonny

Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by sonny » Wed Aug 15, 2007 6:00 pm

odyexplorer,

We follow "THE TEN RULES OF AN OPEN MARRAIGE" and that has been a very good decision. Each knows his ir her position and the extra guy realizes he only enjoys my wife at my pleasure and to which she readlily agrees.

Sonny

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Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by Irwinhill » Thu Aug 16, 2007 5:50 am

odyexplorer wrote:I personally think, from reading around and a bit from personal experience, that hotwifing with only one other lover, or one who's overwhelmingly who she does or wants to see most, is one of the most or perhaps the most dangerous ways to pursue the various forms of this lifestyle.

See my most recent comment in "when the hotwife and bull fall or each other" thread of mark123 on the cuckold form. It along with the two other earlier threads of mark on the same subject, started in the hotwife forum, but was moved over by mods ass his and his wife's experiences developed. She's now divorcing him to marry her lover.

What are others thoughts?
Odyexplorer:

Your comments are thought-provoking.

Both forms of HWing--having a single lover, playing the field--interest me. Both are appealing. Both have pros and cons. While presenting statistics may be useful, I see no reason to hypoe one's point of view by strong language ("the most dangerous") based on casual observation.

Now, here are my thoughts:

Thought #1. My wife of 40 years dated one man exclusively for four years. He was a good man. She loved him. She never for a second considered leaving me for him. Why? Because she made a commitment to me when we got married.

Thought #2. I fell in love with my wife the first hour I met her. I moved in with her the day after we met. We got married within two months. (We would have married sooner but I was waiting for April 1 to make a statement about my view of marriage.)

Thought #3. A male acquaintance of mine--good looking guy--had numerous affairs throughout his marriage. (He traveled widely.) One day he found a woman he liked, dumped his wife of 30 years, and remarried. My point: There is not necessarily safety in having many lovers. Playing the field could increase the odds of a spouse finding someone better. (No danger if we took that approach. See Thought #1 above.)

Thought #4. If a wife has many lovers instead of just one, possibly this increases the danger of contracting a disease. This is a danger that many people are willing to take, and it might be lessened by various reasonable strategies that have frequently been discussed elsewhere on the Forum. Still, logically, the more people one has sex with, the more chances of running into a health problem.

Summing up: I am not persuaded that one form of HWing is more dangerous than another. What is dangerous, I believe, is HWing when the wife is not fully committed to her husband. But of course the same thing could be said of monogamy. I have many friends and relatives who were in monogamous relationships that ended catastrophically.

IH

JlovesL

Re: Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?

Unread post by JlovesL » Thu Aug 16, 2007 10:38 am

"Why would a man want his woman to fuck another?"

"His woman"? Wow, that's a non-starter if I ever saw one. We are two independent souls who decided to take a ride through this life together. What right do I have to limit her joy in whatever form she chooses to find it?

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