My story

[SSQ]

What an awesome day. I love H so much.

Even after all these years, he still shows me how much he loves me and appreciates me, and wants me to be happy. And then we had really fucking awesome sex

So not only am I away from the frigid temperatures of home, but I feel warm inside too. Good times.

[FNQLivin]

What an awesome day. I love H so much.

Even after all these years, he still shows me how much he loves me and appreciates me, and wants me to be happy. And then we had really fucking awesome sex

So not only am I away from the frigid temperatures of home, but I feel warm inside too. Good times.

Lovely to hear and great that you're having a good holiday. I almost wish for some frigid temperatures here at the moment. Early 30's (centigrade) highish humidity, but no rain. 3 t-shirt day today.

[SSQ]

We're home! We had a really nice trip. Our friends joined us and while I didn't fuck them, we had a lot of great conversations and as usual really enjoyed the time we spent together with them. They've invited us and we're planning a visit out there to see them this year, where I suspect there may be more fun in their hot tub

H and I are trying to work through a rough patch, but the trip really helped. Life lately has just been a lot of drudgery- those of you with small kids know what I mean. It's pretty much always just work and much less fun. Add that to his feeling a bit distant because his work has sucked, and it threw a negative light on everything. He started to struggle with poly again, so we're working through that. Casual sex, no problem. But he gets frustrated when I'm having an actual relationship with someone. And of course, given that I enjoy D/s, that isn't something that can be done casually. So we're kind of at an impasse for now, but we both love each other and want to continue sharing our lives, so right now that's on hold while we focus on our marriage. I'm not dating anyone right now, so I don't have to hurt anyone (thankfully- I'm not sure I would have been okay with that anyway because it's not fair and it sucks).

Casual hookups are still okay, and we still look at fetish porn together, so I am optimistic we will work through this just like our other challenges in the past. He knows I can't go back to pure monogamy, and fortunately, he doesn't want that either.

At any rate... two weeks of having fun together and seeing how much we just enjoy each other's company was fabulous- just what the doctor ordered.

[SSQ]

Hate to harp on the buzzword... but so much of this lifestyle is communication. I think it fixes nearly everything, seriously. Love and trust and respect round it off nicely.

H and I had some ridiculously hot sex last night. We're still temporarily closed sexually, but I'm going to a workshop on Sunday and a play party next weekend and it's all good. And we'll get back there, I'm sure.

I just got a big box of sex toys in the mail today. Can't wait to break them out!

[Truckstar]

We are happy for you Sexy Susie - glad you guys are working it.

[allengt]

I just got a big box of sex toys in the mail today. Can't wait to break them out!

I thought that was "break them in."

[SSQ]

I just got a big box of sex toys in the mail today. Can't wait to break them out!

I thought that was "break them in."

LOL, that too

[SSQ]

And back to the "c" word, but a friend made a really insightful comment last night. I was in a sex positive chatroom with mostly vanillas but a couple of kinksters, and the vanillas were bemoaning about how to figure out who chases who, and when to stop chasing, and things like that which just didn't make sense to me.

Then a kinky friend of mine pointed out that in BDSM/kink/alternative sorts of relationships, communication is the default setting. It's assumed that you are going to negotiate and give feedback on what goes on between the two (or more) of you. It's the best way to keep things running smoothly and make sure limits are respected and needs are met.

But in the vanilla world, it seems like the opposite is true. Someone made the comment last night (which I confess I believed when I was 21, damn I used to be an idiot!) that if you ask for what you need, maybe you're only getting it because you asked. But dude, you're GETTING it. If the other person really doesn't want to do it, there's their opportunity to discuss it with you. But if you don't ask, you're not going to get, plain and simple. People really aren't mind readers, although sometimes we make good guesses.

H and I certainly had improvement in our relationship when we stopped waiting for the other person to guess what was going on in our heads like a crazy game of Indian poker and instead just TOLD our partner. They're supposed to be a partner, not an opponent, right?

So, here's yet another PSA for open and honest communication within a relationship. It really goes a long way.

[MrsTruckstar]

Very important to tell them, not there, up a bit, no down, a little faster "Oh baby"

[jane]

where you were a year ago, and where you are now amazes me!

[Out4fungirl]

Not meaning to mix this thread with your blog, but I've been dying to find out how the CL ad for the oral slave went? Are you still thinking of going this route? While I'm not fully into the D/s thing, this is hot as hell to me!

[SSQ]

Thanks ladies, nice to hear from you!

Jane, I'm glad I'm not where I was a year ago. I was pretty depressed and still figuring things out. Now, from two years ago? Awesome. We had just been dipping our toes in the water in 2012. Now my marriage has changed and grown, and I'm learning what I want and how to get it. Much better

Out4fungirl, I actually got several replies that interested me. Between being sick and crazy busy, I haven't yet met any of them, but plan to meet two. I love having my pussy licked, so having a man come, take care of me, and leave would be fantastic.

I've been really involved in the local kink community lately. There are so many events and workshops going on, that I haven't had time for much else since of course I also want to spend time with my family!

[Out4fungirl]

Out4fungirl, I actually got several replies that interested me. Between being sick and crazy busy, I haven't yet met any of them, but plan to meet two. I love having my pussy licked, so having a man come, take care of me, and leave would be fantastic.

I really, really like the thought of this. If you can pull this one off you will be my hero for life.

[SSQ]

Out4fungirl, I actually got several replies that interested me. Between being sick and crazy busy, I haven't yet met any of them, but plan to meet two. I love having my pussy licked, so having a man come, take care of me, and leave would be fantastic.

I really, really like the thought of this. If you can pull this one off you will be my hero for life.

I don't doubt that I'll be able to make it happen Do I get a merit badge?

So I went to a play party this past Saturday and had a fabulous time. I helped do a fire cupping scene and really enjoyed that. I never realized how erotic fire can be. I guess it's the ultimate in control to light your partner on fire and do it safely!

But I also met a very beautiful woman. I had previously seen her at a munch and chatted briefly with her, but when I sent her a follow up email I got no reply. Apparently she didn't realize it was me, because when I flirted with her at the party she was definitely interested and I wound up with my hands on her for most of the night. It was lovely. She apologized and told me she thought I was very attractive and she would be interested in playing. I know it'll be casual, but I think it will also be a lot of fun! I am picturing her bound spread eagle, blindfolded, nipple clamps on, and lots of forced orgasms and sensual torture. Delightful!

It's also interesting. I must have done something right to be blessed with all these attractive women around me who are interested in playing or fucking. Realizing I like women in a D/s sense has been very liberating! It's odd though that I am far more insecure about my body around women than I am around men. I know men find me attractive even though my curves are on the generous side. I'm used to being flirty and getting responses back. Around women? I'm always thinking, wow, she's hot- why does she want to fuck me? I've got to think about that one.

[Out4fungirl]

Out4fungirl, I actually got several replies that interested me. Between being sick and crazy busy, I haven't yet met any of them, but plan to meet two. I love having my pussy licked, so having a man come, take care of me, and leave would be fantastic.

I really, really like the thought of this. If you can pull this one off you will be my hero for life.

I don't doubt that I'll be able to make it happen Do I get a merit badge?

You bet!

[SSQ]

Looks like I'm really back in action this year! I have a lot to write up in my blog, but I thought I'd put a brief update here.

I went to a play party at a swinger's club on the weekend, and it was a lot of fun. I was surprised that the dungeon area was so small since this was a BDSM night and not just a swing night, but apparently a lot of people just came to hook up, so the dungeon was never really packed. I decided not to hook up for casual sex, although after the two scenes I did, I was pretty turned on. One of the ladies I played with was a first timer to public play so I wanted to keep an eye on her and make sure she was ok afterwards. We did a sensual hot wax scene where she was tied to the table and blindfolded, and she loved it. She made such lovely noises and looked fantastic in the wax. Then I got to take a very scary looking (edgeless) knife and remove it, which was lots of fun it itself. She didn't know there was no edge, and when she felt it at her throat...

And then I had a coffee date on Monday with a submissive guy I had met at a previous play party. He had asked me to play, but I like to get to know people before I do BDSM with them (funny how I'll fuck casually, but not do kink without a connection. Guess I find it more intimate), so I had declined but expressed interest in getting to know him better. We had a really nice time- spent three hours chatting and time just flew by. So he invited me over to his house after a munch last night to enjoy their outdoor hot tub.

I had never been hot tubbing in the winter before, and OMG fabulous! Relaxing, and very sexy. We had a drink, spent some time just enjoying the tub, and then started to get to know each other a little better No sex in the hot tub (house rule!), but lots of kissing and groping and nibbling. We went inside and spent a little more time together before I finally had to go home. I'm looking forward to seeing him again!

[jane]

how cold was it outside of the hot tube? because I hate getting out of ours when it's like you know 55 degrees
so I stay in and get wilted.

[SSQ]

It was warmer than it's been here lately... about 23F. So it felt not quite so bad to me honestly. It's been as cold as -40F the past few weeks! The tub was at 101F so I actually felt too hot at some points.

I absolutely loved it. Wish I had one of my own to soak in every day with a nice glass of wine.

[MrsTruckstar]

I have loved watching your development Susie, you are a hot girl for sure.

[SSQ]

Why thank you

H and I have done another check in, to make sure we are both happy and on the same page.

Interestingly enough, he requested that I remove his "hall pass". I thought he'd be happier knowing he had the option to have sex with someone if he wanted to, even though he told me he wasn't interested. I gave that to him about a year ago when I realized I was poly. I think that now when I understand myself better, I'd be more likely to compersion than jealousy, and I used to be a crazy jealous bitch

But he told me that he likes being all mine, has no plans of ever using it, and it makes him feel uncomfortable. So, I've withdrawn permission. That nice thick cock is all mine!

And as an outcome of our conversation, I've put myself back on the dating market. H and I had temporarily put a hold on me forming new relationships, although casual stuff was okay. We needed to work through what in particular was bothering him, and we're optimistic that we did.

It's not that easy finding a new boyfriend or girlfriend, especially since he/she must identify as submissive, share enough vanilla traits so we can have fun as a "regular" couple, share enough kinks that we're both happy, plus he/she either has to be poly or open to a secondary type relationship since I'm not looking to move anyone else in.

Life is complicated- it was much easier when it was just sex, but this is so much more fulfilling! Not sure what will happen with hot tub guy- I can see some things that make me believe this won't be super long term, but either way, while it lasts it'll be fun

[bubbajack]

Without saying too much about why - except that, like H, I am aware that, in addition to my wife, some women seem to find me attractive - I really do understand why just having a "hall pass" - let alone using it - could be a complicating, unease-inducing factor in my happy married life. I would not want one even if it were offered (as to which, even as a remote possibility, Hah! )

This does not mean that I am any less enthusiastic about MrsBubba getting it and giving it in whatever ways she wants and can arrange to have happen. ... Although I do insist on having full personal access to that extremely naughty and delicious used pussy - preferably right away, immediately following any such "misconduct"!!

[SSQ]

I had another date with hot tub guy last night (I'm going to call him J). LOL, I got kind of a funny correlation in my head. Lately I don't give them initials unless I figure they're going to be sticking around for a while. So perhaps it's like earning one of those varsity letters?

Unfortunately, H was out of town so hot tubbing wasn't a possibility since I had the little one at home. I had J arrive after kiddo was asleep, and we watched an old movie that we both like. I absolutely love that he is so big on physical contact like I am. Lots of touching and caressing and cuddling, even though we were still dressed and lying on the couch. It wasn't the kind of urgency that leads to anything- just relaxing and sensual and oxytocin-releasing!

It also makes me so happy that he also has a foot fetish. When I was dating A, he would spend time massaging my feet, but it was giving me service. It's a whole different ballgame to enjoy this with someone who is getting off on it as much as I am. He spent a solid hour rubbing my feet all over, sucking my toes, and nibbling at my arches. Holy crap. So good.

He had never played with a violet wand before, so we decided to rectify that We did more of an experimental sort of thing than an actual scene. I didn't put him into bondage or blindfold him, but it was a lot of fun. I think we both really enjoyed it.

I've done some re-evaluation about how I feel about secondary-type relationships. Perhaps I'll share the post I put on another website if there is interest. At any rate, instead of focusing on it only being successful if it "goes somewhere", I'm redirecting my focus to enjoying it for what it is. Perhaps one day I'll collar J, and perhaps we'll just have some fun in the meantime and wind up as friends. It doesn't matter. In the meantime, I am getting to date an interesting person and have some good times, and that's about as good as it gets since I've got a fantastic husband waiting for me at home.

But yeah... I'll admit the NRE is starting to flow.

[MrsTruckstar]

ELECTRIFYING read again, pardon the pun.

[SSQ]

Well, the NRE is definitely hitting. I must admit, dating a local man makes my life a lot easier, even if it does involve cabs at 2am! He doesn't own a car either which is a bit of a pain in the ass given how cold it is, but it's a heck of a lot better than a city that's 90 min away!

I'm really, really enjoying J's company. His submission turns me on, the foot fetish drives me wild, but he's still cheeky enough that he makes me laugh. The vanilla stuff is a lot of fun, too. We have quite a few hobbies in common that we're enjoying.

He came over again last night after kiddo had gone to bed. It was so tempting to have him stay, but I knew that was a bad idea. H comes home on Monday so perhaps I'll set up an overnight at his place next week. One of the things I really enjoy with a boyfriend is sleeping with them... leaving in the middle of the night after the BDSM and the sex and the cuddles when we're both tired and don't want to get out of bed isn't fun.

Let's just say I am really liking getting to know him

[FNQLivin]

There should be a Like button!