Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[HotwifeBabs]

Hello everyone, I am hoping you may be able to help me with some advice.
Sorry for such a long post, thanks for reading! I am desperate to reintroduce it just as a fantasy back into our lives, and would love some advice from the VHW's on what my wife might be feeling, and how I might be able to reignite that spark for her in this lifestyle.

Wow, that was long but I did read it all. I agree with Farmgirl and you should try to work on communicating. What is her biggest reason? Does she not want to talk about it, is she embarrassed by it? Or is she over it?

TBH, there are things I've done in my past that were lots of fun but I don't necessarily want to do them again.

[ccbj691]

Wow, that was long but I did read it all. I agree with Farmgirl and you should try to work on communicating. What is her biggest reason? Does she not want to talk about it, is she embarrassed by it? Or is she over it?

TBH, there are things I've done in my past that were lots of fun but I don't necessarily want to do them again.

Thanks for taking the time to read!

Everytime I try to bring up the subject she immediately shuts it down. She says that she is embarrassed by it now, and that she regrets doing it, and that she doesn't want to talk about it. I think that by talking about it she thinks she is opening the door for it to happen again.

She hated the way my friend became a bit clingy and creepy, and it unsettled her, and made her not want to do it. I talked about other guys but it put her off the whole thing. Now that quite a bit of time has passed I think she is just turned off by it. But it has never gone away for me, and I would love to find a way to at least talk about it with her.

[scottamadore2]

Hey I want to ask some questions
1 why some woman say size doesn't matter?
2 does marriage or relationship suffers once woman is with bull or boyfriend
3 is it okay to get into lifestyle just after wedding knowing each other only for less than a year?
4is it okay to start lifestyle before kids?
Sidenote : we have a good communication and we always speak about matters as such with each other still I want to know from women who are already in the lifestyle about their experiences

[Statein88]

What do you ask or look for in a bull? I don't know what to ask a bull to find out whether he'd be a good candidate for my sweetie. I'm just curious.

Because of market preferences (SusieHomemaker wants Angus beef), I look for black Angus or at least black Angus dominant bulls. Then there is choosing which EPDs are important.
I want a bull that produces well-milking females but is not too heavy on milk, then she would use too much energy on milk production. Growth and carcass traits are important as are the "ranch" traits, it's a balancing act most times so no single trait gets out of wack.
We want fast-growing calves with good marbling, and ribeye size, as well as moderate feed intake with good feed conversion.
Those are just a few things I look for, along with the necessary fertility, soundness, docility, and high libido.
I could go into more depth but that is probably plenty for now

A true Southern farm girl.

[Natatude]

Hey I want to ask some questions
1 why some woman say size doesn't matter? It does to me, my husband is almost 10, that’s too large for me. I prefer around 7

2 does marriage or relationship suffers once woman is with bull or boyfriend, not for us it’s makes us even stronger her every time I am with another lover

3 is it okay to get into lifestyle just after wedding knowing each other only for less than a year? I’d say it could work out.

4is it okay to start lifestyle before kids? I don’t know, I didn’t know hubby wanted such a thing until our daughter was 5 she is now 34
Sidenote : we have a good communication and we always speak about matters as such with each other still I want to know from women who are already in the lifestyle about their experiences

[Hallonsoda]

Do you let your cuckold watch or do you prefer him to be absent? Pros and cons to each situation? Do you enjoy it more if he’s present?

[Lookingforadventure]

Do you let your cuckold watch or do you prefer him to be absent? Pros and cons to each situation? Do you enjoy it more if he’s present?

It depends a lot on my mood and how I'm feeling. Sometimes I want my husband there. I enjoy having two men want me. I like being the object of their desires and the center of their attention. Many of my fantasies can be acted on with two men present. At the same time, when my husband is there, I will always be aware of him and his needs. It can be freeing to sometimes play alone.

[Funtimes00]

How to make my nice girl feel safer to be a bad girl more regularly ? I think that she’s afraid to make me feel bad or afraid humiliate me even a little.

We are in our late 50’s. My fiancé and I enjoy a reoccurring fantasy of me watching her with a muscular much younger man.
She also goes crazy when directing me to lick her while he’s fucking her and she always wants me to blow him.

Now She’s always very careful in our fantasy (and reality) not to be a bad girl because she’s a very good girl who is only sometimes very naughty.

I’d really like for her to become more dominant where she chooses a particular man and tells me that she’s going to have seX with him because SHE WANTS TO HAVE A MAN LIKE THAT and that I will have to watch and wait until they are done …. or some OTHER variation of dominance.

How can I get her to do that? Just ask her? Is there a way that I can get her to do it on her own without me directing?

Ps, she recently attended a wedding as a guest with her adult daughter. Later that night she left me a voice mail, unprovoked, describing she had danced with a very cute and muscular younger man who was very much into her. She said that it got intense and she finally had to break away. This led to us talking about it on the phone and it was hot. I think that she’s going in the right direction but she was still a bit careful.

Any recommendations to help her become more comfortable being a bar girl would be appreciated.

[Farmgirl]

How to make my nice girl feel safer to be a bad girl more regularly ? I think that she’s afraid to make me feel bad or afraid humiliate me even a little.

We are in our late 50’s. My fiancé and I enjoy a reoccurring fantasy of me watching her with a muscular much younger man.
She also goes crazy when directing me to lick her while he’s fucking her and she always wants me to blow him.

Now She’s always very careful in our fantasy (and reality) not to be a bad girl because she’s a very good girl who is only sometimes very naughty.

I’d really like for her to become more dominant where she chooses a particular man and tells me that she’s going to have seX with him because SHE WANTS TO HAVE A MAN LIKE THAT and that I will have to watch and wait until they are done …. or some OTHER variation of dominance.

How can I get her to do that? Just ask her? Is there a way that I can get her to do it on her own without me directing?

Ps, she recently attended a wedding as a guest with her adult daughter. Later that night she left me a voice mail, unprovoked, describing she had danced with a very cute and muscular younger man who was very much into her. She said that it got intense and she finally had to break away. This led to us talking about it on the phone and it was hot. I think that she’s going in the right direction but she was still a bit careful.

Any recommendations to help her become more comfortable being a bar girl would be appreciated.

You should be open and honest about letting her know what turns you on, and what you would like to see. That is not directing, it is simply good communication. To have a great sex life, as well as just a good life in general, we have to tell each other our secrets and desires. Without that kind of trust, you just don't have much.

[irishstag41]

Do any of you beautiful hotwives have boyfriends who are monogamous to you only? My wives boyfriend is now. They see each other once a week. He's 31 she's 44. She only plays with me and him now. She did have other lovers but has said two is enough for her.

[Florgasm]

I am a bull to a wife who is enamored and committed to a one bull/lover relationship. She has completely stopped any sexual relationship with her cuck, though not cagged him in any way. They both know he will never be allowed to have her in any way, and is allowed external sexual adventures, even without condoms because she will not be exposed to any STDs he may get.

I have asked her if she's willing to ask him to watch, but she's consistently refused, but I want to be able to engage with her sexually in front of others. Several possibilities have come to mind:
- finding a gf to engage in FMF
- funding a bf to engage in MFM
- hiring one escort or an escort couple to have sex side by side in a hotel
- attending a swinger club but without swinging
- attend a lifestyle holiday/cruise but without swinging
- attend a dinner club/lifestyle cruise with swinging
- find a swinging couple on a platform and swing exclusively with them

What would you suggest and/or advise?

[Farmgirl]

I am a bull to a wife who is enamored and committed to a one bull/lover relationship. She has completely stopped any sexual relationship with her cuck, though not cagged him in any way. They both know he will never be allowed to have her in any way, and is allowed external sexual adventures, even without condoms because she will not be exposed to any STDs he may get.

I have asked her if she's willing to ask him to watch, but she's consistently refused, but I want to be able to engage with her sexually in front of others. Several possibilities have come to mind:
- finding a gf to engage in FMF
- funding a bf to engage in MFM
- hiring one escort or an escort couple to have sex side by side in a hotel
- attending a swinger club but without swinging
- attend a lifestyle holiday/cruise but without swinging
- attend a dinner club/lifestyle cruise with swinging
- find a swinging couple on a platform and swing exclusively with them

What would you suggest and/or advise?

Listen to her and do what she wants .

[Florgasm]

I listen to her, and in fact would like to listen to whether she would consider/want/love to explore any of the above possibilities. In wanting to avoid any miscommunication, which we rarely have any way, I tend to prefer to ask clear questions to avoid misunderstanding or misinterpretation. Of course, if any of you had particular experiences and recommend avoiding a specific possibility, I am all ears

[thumbmanhere]

More for the cuckold side of things but have you ever spent sexy time with someone your husband knows but kept his identity a secret? This would drive me crazy.

Full disclosure, I'm still feeling my wife out so no experience yet with hotwifing or cuckolding. She's extremely conservative so going very slowly.

[Farmgirl]

More for the cuckold side of things but have you ever spent sexy time with someone your husband knows but kept his identity a secret? This would drive me crazy.

Full disclosure, I'm still feeling my wife out so no experience yet with hotwifing or cuckolding. She's extremely conservative so going very slowly.

Conservative, liberal, religious, non-religious. None of these have any real thing to do with it, it is all about how she sees herself. I'm religious, go to church every Sunday (if I'm not with my boyfriend), am church secretary, and view myself as pretty durn conservative.

Now, to get to your question: No, I do not withhold things from my husband. That would not be being open and honest, something this LS pretty much requires, as should any marriage.

[lanceHarden25]

Hello lovely Hotwives. Have any of you started by cheating on your husband and when he found out he was excited and wanted you to continue?

[feetuji]

Hi HWives! Whether is with just your husband, the lovers,etc, what kind of preliminaries (if any) excites you most?

[Farmgirl]

Hi HWives! Whether is with just your husband, the lovers,etc, what kind of preliminaries (if any) excites you most?

I love the daily calls from my boyfriend, and texts from my husband. It means that are thinking about me. Then, passionate kisses !!

[feetuji]

Hi HWives! Whether is with just your husband, the lovers,etc, what kind of preliminaries (if any) excites you most?

I love the daily calls from my boyfriend, and texts from my husband. It means that are thinking about me. Then, passionate kisses !!

Thanks for sharing that! May I ask you why the calls and messages are like preliminaries for you? Is the content sexual, romantic...? Or is just the fact that they give you attention?

[Farmgirl]

Hi HWives! Whether is with just your husband, the lovers,etc, what kind of preliminaries (if any) excites you most?

I love the daily calls from my boyfriend, and texts from my husband. It means that are thinking about me. Then, passionate kisses !!

Thanks for sharing that! May I ask you why the calls and messages are like preliminaries for you? Is the content sexual, romantic...? Or is just the fact that they give you attention?

The calls and texts cover it all, checking in about me, and him. Weather, what we're doing, what's going on in the area, and sexual and romantic. I'm a complete person, so I want a complete person: the whole package. My boyfriend is just that, as is my husband. Just a couple of days ago, another "friend" reached out to me after a bit of a break.
I am looking forward to building a relationship with him again and getting closer to him .

[feetuji]

Thanks for answer my question!

[grnlght]

Has any hotwife had negative effects from HRT such as nodules in breasts and was advised to stop HRT and if so how did you deal with the H flashes, dryness, internal thinning? And has any of you had negative health effects from lubes causing UTI's and such?

[KelliandChrisTX]

Hi! Relatively new to the forum and I'm loving all the information. My wife and I have been married for 10 years with kids. I relatively recently told her about my hotwife kink. She was actually really receptive and we have been having fun fantasizing. Our communication is great and sex life is on fire again. Our reservation about going much further comes down to how it would affect our life outside of our sex lives. I'm sure this question has been answered before, but searching this thread would take all day. How has pursuing this kink affected your relationship outside of your sex life? Does it mostly stay the same? Anything positive or negative that wasn't expected? Thanks in advance!

[Restarting]

Only positive results. All barriers to communication have been obliterated. Our trust in each other is deepened, allowing us to easily discuss anything without fear of reprisal, sexual or not. For us it has truly been a day vs night difference in our relationship (including outside of our sex lives).

[Restarting]

Sorry, I inadvertently replied on the VHSs only. Not intentional.