Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[Inquisition1]

This will be rambling so bare with me. My wife is has been with at least two black men. She was married to one guy for 10 years and they had 2 children. We got together when they were splitting up and now we have a child.

We've role played before about her being with someone other than me. And we've dirty talked about her being with me and another guy, or her with two guys while I film it. We've also watched porn together for years.

Recently when we have sex she wants me to go deeper and be really rough(not violent) with her. No complaints.

So here's were I have some questions.

The other night we were watching porn and fooling around. She was scrolling through the top female models on xvideos searching for whatever. She mentioned the name Lexi Steele then she skipped the page and picked something else. She started to go down on me and while she was i scrolled back to see the name she mention aloud. There was no Lexi Steele on the page. So I started to type lexi and her autofill completed it to lexington steele, so this was a name she had searched before. I clicked search and videos featuring Mr.(not Ms.) Steele came up. No biggie.

I put one of the videos on and the dude was pretty big and his dick was similar shape to mine just black. I said as much and she got very defensive. She went very over the top about how she doesn't like black penises. She kept fidgiting with her necklace and half finishing her sentences before breaking off and saying "just eww no" after each half sentence.

I'm not sure if she was just embarrassed because she watched this specific guy and I'd be mad(which isn't the case) or if she was being genuine.

I'm confused because she's Thai/Irish and dark skinned herself. She's always been very sexual and has labia similar to girls who do a lot of interracial films. She gets very wet climaxes quickly and likes when her vagina is pushed to the limit(extra fingers).

Do you think she has been with more black men than she let on and was worried I wouldn't be happy about it?

I'm very comfortable with our love but do you think I did something to make her worry of jealousy?

And if that's the case how do I get her comfortable telling me the truth and let her know I'm ok with it?

PS. she asked me what cuckold was a few months ago but I pretended to have no knowledge and she dropped it.

[Iris777]

My wife is a bit older than me (16 years) but relatively inexperienced -I've taught her a lot!! I broached the subject and she flat refused statins she only wants me but I'm assuming that is normal at first. What I want to know is how and when to raise the subject? I'd love to see her enjoy another guy but she thinks it's us and us only. I take it this is normal and should I give up??

Enjoy the fantasy, enjoy the role playing but if she has no REAL interest in another man, accept it. If you push too hard, you will have an angry, hurt wife who feels that whatever she does won't be enough to make you happy. I would suggest not bringing it up EVERY time you are intimate, but keep it as a part of a repertoire of things that excite her. She may move to a place of seriously considering it, but if you push, it will only cause problems

[Artimas]

SSQ wrote:
HappyHottieHubby wrote:
My wife has fallen in love with her BF. She started seeing him and said she would never fall in love, but things progressed to love. Now she says "This changes nothing. I still love you (my husband) just as much, however I love him as well (although not as much)."

She is a great wife and is working hard to make everyone happy. She has asked me what I want her to do - break it off or let her continue seeing us both.

Ladies?


There is love and there is LOVE. It's really hard to explain but it's not the same thing at all, to me. How long has she been seeing him? If it's less than a year, it's probably just NRE. Remember that she doesn't have any responsibilities with him- all they do is have fun, make love, and get to see each other's fun sides. Remember that she still loves YOU even though you guys do all the boring, relationship stuff together.

How do you feel about it? Is she still showing you that she loves you and making you feel valued and special?



My wife is working overtime to show me she loves me and to make me happy. She is trying to make everyone happy so that she can have it all. She tells me she "loves me more" but that she still feels love for him and she believes that she can make it work for everyone. I ask her what she would do if she had to choose, and she says that of course she would chose me, however she hopes she will not have to chose. She says she will end it with him upon my command, but hopes that is not what I want. I don't want to be the bad guy. I don't know how I feel, honestly - my feelings are mixed. I'm happy that she is happy. I'm thrilled with the volume and intensity of great sex everyone is having. My only concern is for the long-term ramifications. Is this just setting someone up for a big fall, or is it possible for two guys to love one woman and her to love both of them long-term? Or, should I just say "hey - this is not good - let's cut bait now before it's too late"?

Does this remind any of you of the late Samanthasman?

[pancuckold]

I am very much in love with 4 women right now, sexual with 2 of them.

I didn't get here overnight, all of these relationships are more than a year old. Also note I'm really clear that there's only one I'm mostly able to spend 'living together' time with, the one I'm most attracted to, there's no way in hell I'd ever live with her.

To my mind there are no hard/fast rules about this. People on ohw consider emotional entanglement risky but I've seen just as many ... admittedly vanilla relationships busted up because one partner simply wanted sexual variety.

[SSQ]

SSQ wrote:
HappyHottieHubby wrote:
My wife has fallen in love with her BF. She started seeing him and said she would never fall in love, but things progressed to love. Now she says "This changes nothing. I still love you (my husband) just as much, however I love him as well (although not as much)."

She is a great wife and is working hard to make everyone happy. She has asked me what I want her to do - break it off or let her continue seeing us both.

Ladies?


There is love and there is LOVE. It's really hard to explain but it's not the same thing at all, to me. How long has she been seeing him? If it's less than a year, it's probably just NRE. Remember that she doesn't have any responsibilities with him- all they do is have fun, make love, and get to see each other's fun sides. Remember that she still loves YOU even though you guys do all the boring, relationship stuff together.

How do you feel about it? Is she still showing you that she loves you and making you feel valued and special?



My wife is working overtime to show me she loves me and to make me happy. She is trying to make everyone happy so that she can have it all. She tells me she "loves me more" but that she still feels love for him and she believes that she can make it work for everyone. I ask her what she would do if she had to choose, and she says that of course she would chose me, however she hopes she will not have to chose. She says she will end it with him upon my command, but hopes that is not what I want. I don't want to be the bad guy. I don't know how I feel, honestly - my feelings are mixed. I'm happy that she is happy. I'm thrilled with the volume and intensity of great sex everyone is having. My only concern is for the long-term ramifications. Is this just setting someone up for a big fall, or is it possible for two guys to love one woman and her to love both of them long-term? Or, should I just say "hey - this is not good - let's cut bait now before it's too late"?

Does this remind any of you of the late Samanthasman?

Your quote function didn't seem to be working too well, there.

I dunno, it sounds like a pretty typical poly situation to me. They were the most recent example but it doesn't mean there has to be problems. Lots of people make poly work- it's not that falling in love is the automatic death sentence that some people think it is. It's all about boundaries, communication, and expectations.

[Buttercream]

So here's were I have some questions.
Do you think she has been with more black men than she let on and was worried I wouldn't be happy about it?
I'm very comfortable with our love but do you think I did something to make her worry of jealousy?
And if that's the case how do I get her comfortable telling me the truth and let her know I'm ok with it?
PS. she asked me what cuckold was a few months ago but I pretended to have no knowledge and she dropped it.

I think it could be just as simple as she's embarrassed by being caught. Maybe it was her little secret & you caught her. We don't always behave correctly when caught red-handed.

[Iris777]

This will be rambling so bare with me. My wife is has been with at least two black men. She was married to one guy for 10 years and they had 2 children. We got together when they were splitting up and now we have a child.

We've role played before about her being with someone other than me. And we've dirty talked about her being with me and another guy, or her with two guys while I film it. We've also watched porn together for years.

Recently when we have sex she wants me to go deeper and be really rough(not violent) with her. No complaints.

So here's were I have some questions.

The other night we were watching porn and fooling around. She was scrolling through the top female models on xvideos searching for whatever. She mentioned the name Lexi Steele then she skipped the page and picked something else. She started to go down on me and while she was i scrolled back to see the name she mention aloud. There was no Lexi Steele on the page. So I started to type lexi and her autofill completed it to lexington steele, so this was a name she had searched before. I clicked search and videos featuring Mr.(not Ms.) Steele came up. No biggie.

I put one of the videos on and the dude was pretty big and his dick was similar shape to mine just black. I said as much and she got very defensive. She went very over the top about how she doesn't like black penises. She kept fidgiting with her necklace and half finishing her sentences before breaking off and saying "just eww no" after each half sentence.

I'm not sure if she was just embarrassed because she watched this specific guy and I'd be mad(which isn't the case) or if she was being genuine.

I'm confused because she's Thai/Irish and dark skinned herself. She's always been very sexual and has labia similar to girls who do a lot of interracial films. She gets very wet climaxes quickly and likes when her vagina is pushed to the limit(extra fingers).

Do you think she has been with more black men than she let on and was worried I wouldn't be happy about it?

I'm very comfortable with our love but do you think I did something to make her worry of jealousy?

And if that's the case how do I get her comfortable telling me the truth and let her know I'm ok with it?

PS. she asked me what cuckold was a few months ago but I pretended to have no knowledge and she dropped it.

I agree with Buttercream - she might just be embarrassed. My other thought is that she may have negative feelings about men who remind her of her ex. I know that if anyone vaguely reminds me of my ex-husband, it's an immediate loss of any interest of being sexual with them.

As to her past lovers, her past is hers and how she feels about it is also hers. It shouldn't matter about how many men, black or otherwise, she has been with but how they treated her. As for her worrying about it, have you ever, even once, said anything negative about being with a black man? Have others she's been involved with?

And the whole labia lips like those who do interracial porn, and the fact that she's always been sexual and gets wet and likes rough play? What does that have to do with whether or not she wants a black man??? Labia lips, like penis size, aren't racially specific, neither is the ability to lubricate or enjoy rough sex. That's just silly.

[Hooker]

Sorry, dont wanna be facetious, but..........why dont you ask HER? Several advantages

The obvious one is that it may give you some insights both ways to understand each other better.

It also works towards creating the habit of trust and openness or increase it if already there.

HER answers will be sooo much better than the ones we can offer here on this thread. To begin with because she's the (only) one who actually knows and has the answers.

Just be nice, forget your "inquisition" name, lol

Have fun

[vegasj360]

I’ve got a question that I’ve never been able to figure out.
Why can’t Hotwives find a good bull?
You go on Craigslist and there’s hundred’s of guys. And they don’t even care if they show their faces. AFF, 1000’s of guys. AM…. Etc., etc. etc.
I’m not a bull, but every time I go to the gym, there are plenty of guys that would love to be a bull. They’re looking at everything that walks by them.
Just got back from the Seahawks game yesterday and more guys undressing women with their eyes.
It just seems like a numbers game.
Your thoughts?

[Happymcshove]

that disconnect is a very useful part of being a hotwife for me. I get to go out and not be wife, mom, employee, sister, daughter, friend...I'm just a girl on a date. I set down the cumbersome parts of my life for a while and get to just play. it's no different than telling your family "I'm going to a movie alone tonight, see ya later!" your real world is still there when you get back but for a few hours, they aren't of critical importance. would I ignore my real life if it called while I was out and there was a true emergency? of course not, but I'm also not going to respond if i get a text from hubs asking me to pickup coffee on my way home (but I would pick up the coffee).

What I don't understand is why can't you women just drop life for a few hours and escape into sex with your husbands?

I'm not saying drop your other FBs but why can't your husband be your main FB? Why can't he be just as good an escape?

This is an honest question as I've heard similar things from women outside of this lifestyle.

[MrsTruckstar]

What I don't understand is why can't you women just drop life for a few hours and escape into sex with your husbands?

I'm not saying drop your other FBs but why can't your husband be your main FB? Why can't he be just as good an escape?

This is an honest question as I've heard similar things from women outside of this lifestyle.

HappyMc, It is often good to do stuff away from your spouse. Like guys that play Football, Go Fishing or other things. Like you say, if they like it together then keep it together. If you like a bit of 'different' and you both enjoy that - then go for it.

[Happymcshove]

What I don't understand is why can't you women just drop life for a few hours and escape into sex with your husbands?

I'm not saying drop your other FBs but why can't your husband be your main FB? Why can't he be just as good an escape?

This is an honest question as I've heard similar things from women outside of this lifestyle.

HappyMc, It is often good to do stuff away from your spouse. Like guys that play Football, Go Fishing or other things. Like you say, if they like it together then keep it together. If you like a bit of 'different' and you both enjoy that - then go for it.

I get that part Mrs T. What I'm asking is why some women consider FWB sex as a treat or mini vacation but don't feel the same about marital sex.

I've dated many high partner count women. I've often been seen as the playtoy and rarely as a long term deal.

So I've heard this from women from various backgrounds that weren't in an open relationship. So your premise of something apart like a ballgame doesn't apply in my scenario.

[Happymcshove]

What I don't understand is why can't you women just drop life for a few hours and escape into sex with your husbands?

I'm not saying drop your other FBs but why can't your husband be your main FB? Why can't he be just as good an escape?

This is an honest question as I've heard similar things from women outside of this lifestyle.

HappyMc, It is often good to do stuff away from your spouse. Like guys that play Football, Go Fishing or other things. Like you say, if they like it together then keep it together. If you like a bit of 'different' and you both enjoy that - then go for it.

I get that part Mrs T. What I'm asking is why some women consider FWB sex as a treat or mini vacation but don't feel the same about marital sex.

I've dated many high partner count women. I've often been seen as the playtoy and rarely as a long term deal.

So I've heard this from women from various backgrounds that weren't in an open relationship. So your premise of something apart like a ballgame doesn't apply in my scenario.

I'm not in an open relationship. I am considering asking my girl if she'd like to be a cuckqueen but I don't think I'd ever share her.

I'm asking an honest question. I've heard several women that were single. That were not cheating. That also were not in an open relationship use the same terms describing FWB sex vs relationship sex.

I've always found that confusing.

[D+D]

The purpose of this thread, I think, is to hear from verified hotwives concerning their own likes and dislikes so that those of us who are actually married to hotwives or are serious wannabes can better understand the wants, desires, likes, and dislikes of our wonderful ladies. It's not a place to challenge them, whether one agrees or disagrees.

[Happymcshove]

The purpose of this thread, I think, is to hear from verified hotwives concerning their own likes and dislikes so that those of us who are actually married to hotwives or are serious wannabes can better understand the wants, desires, likes, and dislikes of our wonderful ladies. It's not a place to challenge them, whether one agrees or disagrees.

Nobody's challenging anybody here. JFC it's an honest question about sex and females perspective. Does everybody here have reading comprehension problems?

Also can people not get how issues here can be of help to a plain old vanilla LTR?

[SSQ]

What I don't understand is why can't you women just drop life for a few hours and escape into sex with your husbands?

I'm not saying drop your other FBs but why can't your husband be your main FB? Why can't he be just as good an escape?

This is an honest question as I've heard similar things from women outside of this lifestyle.

HappyMc, It is often good to do stuff away from your spouse. Like guys that play Football, Go Fishing or other things. Like you say, if they like it together then keep it together. If you like a bit of 'different' and you both enjoy that - then go for it.

I get that part Mrs T. What I'm asking is why some women consider FWB sex as a treat or mini vacation but don't feel the same about marital sex.

I've dated many high partner count women. I've often been seen as the playtoy and rarely as a long term deal.

So I've heard this from women from various backgrounds that weren't in an open relationship. So your premise of something apart like a ballgame doesn't apply in my scenario.

He's either a troll, or never will get it. Occasionally surfaces for drama and that's it.

Because seriously... anyone who can't understand how having a novelty is different from the same old at home, will never get it. I have a fabulous sex life with my husband. But I also have way more sex with my husband. Having sex with someone newer is more exciting. That doesn't mean that I don't like and want to have sex with my husband. But I can ALWAYS have sex with my husband, and can't always with another person.

As for HMS being the playtoy, I imagine it's because no one could stand his chauvinistic, MRA bullshit for a real relationship. Look in the mirror. If everyone here has reading comprehension issues, to your mind, the problem is you.

[allengt]

This has nothing to do with The Truth about HWing Warts and all main but belongs in Ask a HW a guestion so moving there.

[Happymcshove]

Are you serious with that question or are you trolling?
I like eating steak but once in a while I like lobster or chicken. Get it? What does your wife say? Why does she play with others?[/quote]

He's either a troll, or never will get it. Occasionally surfaces for drama and that's it.

Because seriously... anyone who can't understand how having a novelty is different from the same old at home, will never get it. I have a fabulous sex life with my husband. But I also have way more sex with my husband. Having sex with someone newer is more exciting. That doesn't mean that I don't like and want to have sex with my husband. But I can ALWAYS have sex with my husband, and can't always with another person.

As for HMS being the playtoy, I imagine it's because no one could stand his chauvinistic, MRA bullshit for a real relationship. Look in the mirror. If everyone here has reading comprehension issues, to your mind, the problem is you.[/quote]


So say with non hotwife women who have a single FWB or maybe a harem of two the novelty aspect still applies?

I'm asking cause from my own perspective even when I had a harem of twenty plus women I looked at them all as evenly fun for the most part. ( obviously if they weren't they would be bumped from the rotation)

Then in all my exclussive relationships I looked at tge sex as equally as fun as my harem adventures.

Yes I get the whole different flavors of ice cream as I've been there done that.

What's intriguing to me seems to be the female perspective of FWB and relationship sex being different. Not only in the hotwife community but it seems across the entire female sexual landscape.

Thank you in advance ladies for your input.

[Buttercream]

Umm... Because men & women are different... LoL

[Buttercream]

Yep!

[beamish_boy]

Keep in mind we think differently than men even if we have a high libido. Yes there is 100's of guy on Craigslist. Out of those hundred 20% are just down right creepy. 35 out of the 80 are married cheaters that want to meet in a motel during the week and during working hours. 5 out of the 45 have a serious drug problem. 3 out of the 40 have no car and want you to pick them up. 2 of the 37 are traveling from out of town and will be in the area next week. 10 of the 35 are too young 10 out of 25 are too old. 10 of the 15 just want to meet at the hotel room, now out of that 10, 6 are just very unattractive, 1 sent pics of 3 different guys 3 are just pushy assholes. Now if you're still with me that leaves 5, 5 guys to possibly hook up with. 3 of them will tell you everything you want to hear right up to the moment they either rub one out and lose interest, or say they are going to show up and don't. 1 will and either have the personality of a rock, talk about how great he is, have a very bad odor, rotten teeth, or all of the above. That leaves 1.
He will have, performance anxiety, Admit that he has wife and start feeling guilty about it, act with so much bravado it gags you like a cheap heavy cologne, act like he is giving you the thrill of your life as he's pulling up his pants after 2 minutes of 5 inches of fury asking you "Was it good for you?" while I'm staring at the wall wondering why I even got dressed up and what hubby got me for dinner.
Or if you are truly lucky and I mean win $500 on a scratch-off lucky you find a true gem of a man. I got lucky I found a gem and married him.

I think this is the best post I've read on the forum so far. Brilliant! (and all too accurate).

[playpeople]

Do you think revealing this fantasy to your wife could change the way she feels about you as a person. Obviously that question will be different for everybody but I guess in general how does the wife view her husband after he tells her this. FYI, mine plays along at times but thinks I have a mental issue. LOL.

Yes for me it has changed the way I look at my husband.

How is that? My wife has had a number of men since our marital nuptials. I never even thought anything would actually give her pause to think something other of me.

[Mia]

Yes for me it has changed the way I look at my husband.

How is that? My wife has had a number of men since our marital nuptials. I never even thought anything would actually give her pause to think something other of me.

Welcome to OHW, playpeople.



Mia

[GoddessBonnie]

I’ve got a question that I’ve never been able to figure out.
Why can’t Hotwives find a good bull?
You go on Craigslist and there’s hundred’s of guys. And they don’t even care if they show their faces. AFF, 1000’s of guys. AM…. Etc., etc. etc.
I’m not a bull, but every time I go to the gym, there are plenty of guys that would love to be a bull. They’re looking at everything that walks by them.
Just got back from the Seahawks game yesterday and more guys undressing women with their eyes.
It just seems like a numbers game.
Your thoughts?

Keep in mind we think differently than men even if we have a high libido. Yes there is 100's of guy on Craigslist. Out of those hundred 20% are just down right creepy. 35 out of the 80 are married cheaters that want to meet in a motel during the week and during working hours. 5 out of the 45 have a serious drug problem. 3 out of the 40 have no car and want you to pick them up. 2 of the 37 are traveling from out of town and will be in the area next week. 10 of the 35 are too young 10 out of 25 are too old. 10 of the 15 just want to meet at the hotel room, now out of that 10, 6 are just very unattractive, 1 sent pics of 3 different guys 3 are just pushy assholes. Now if you're still with me that leaves 5, 5 guys to possibly hook up with. 3 of them will tell you everything you want to hear right up to the moment they either rub one out and lose interest, or say they are going to show up and don't. 1 will and either have the personality of a rock, talk about how great he is, have a very bad odor, rotten teeth, or all of the above. That leaves 1.
He will have, performance anxiety, Admit that he has wife and start feeling guilty about it, act with so much bravado it gags you like a cheap heavy cologne, act like he is giving you the thrill of your life as he's pulling up his pants after 2 minutes of 5 inches of fury asking you "Was it good for you?" while I'm staring at the wall wondering why I even got dressed up and what hubby got me for dinner.
Or if you are truly lucky and I mean win $500 on a scratch-off lucky you find a true gem of a man. I got lucky I found a gem and married him.

Love this and so true!!

[ragman59]

I’ve got a question that I’ve never been able to figure out.
Why can’t Hotwives find a good bull?
You go on Craigslist and there’s hundred’s of guys. And they don’t even care if they show their faces. AFF, 1000’s of guys. AM…. Etc., etc. etc.
I’m not a bull, but every time I go to the gym, there are plenty of guys that would love to be a bull. They’re looking at everything that walks by them.
Just got back from the Seahawks game yesterday and more guys undressing women with their eyes.
It just seems like a numbers game.
Your thoughts?

Keep in mind we think differently than men even if we have a high libido. Yes there is 100's of guy on Craigslist. Out of those hundred 20% are just down right creepy. 35 out of the 80 are married cheaters that want to meet in a motel during the week and during working hours. 5 out of the 45 have a serious drug problem. 3 out of the 40 have no car and want you to pick them up. 2 of the 37 are traveling from out of town and will be in the area next week. 10 of the 35 are too young 10 out of 25 are too old. 10 of the 15 just want to meet at the hotel room, now out of that 10, 6 are just very unattractive, 1 sent pics of 3 different guys 3 are just pushy assholes. Now if you're still with me that leaves 5, 5 guys to possibly hook up with. 3 of them will tell you everything you want to hear right up to the moment they either rub one out and lose interest, or say they are going to show up and don't. 1 will and either have the personality of a rock, talk about how great he is, have a very bad odor, rotten teeth, or all of the above. That leaves 1.
He will have, performance anxiety, Admit that he has wife and start feeling guilty about it, act with so much bravado it gags you like a cheap heavy cologne, act like he is giving you the thrill of your life as he's pulling up his pants after 2 minutes of 5 inches of fury asking you "Was it good for you?" while I'm staring at the wall wondering why I even got dressed up and what hubby got me for dinner.
Or if you are truly lucky and I mean win $500 on a scratch-off lucky you find a true gem of a man. I got lucky I found a gem and married him.

LOL!!! Now thats funny, and so true. I remember saying something identical about a military unit I was in. Officers? out. Senior enlisted? out. Smokers? etc. etc. funny how the world turns isn't it?

(I wonder where I am in the equation)?