Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[ragman59]

OK, here's my first question: my wife, Titmouse, doesn't like my name. She likes "Hornytoad" because she says I'm always horny and the lizard is so cute.

I say no one knows a hornytoad is a lizard, and who thinks a toad is cute?

What say you, ladies?

[spongeworthy]

I'll give this a try: What do you like about being a hotwife?
It's a common thread on this board so can I add a slight variation? Rank the common responses as they apply to you.
1) More sex
2) Different sex
3) Better sex
4) I like the attention
5) I like turning hubby on
6) Something else (elaborate)

[SSQ]

I'll give this a try: What do you like about being a hotwife?
It's a common thread on this board so can I add a slight variation? Rank the common responses as they apply to you.
1) More sex
2) Different sex
3) Better sex
4) I like the attention
5) I like turning hubby on
6) Something else (elaborate)

Freedom to do what I want, when I want, with who I want.

[tacoshare]

I'll give this a try: What do you like about being a hotwife?
It's a common thread on this board so can I add a slight variation? Rank the common responses as they apply to you.
1) More sex
2) Different sex
3) Better sex
4) I like the attention
5) I like turning hubby on
6) Something else (elaborate)

5,2,1
#3 doesn't apply in my situation (I'm a lucky girl)
#6 threesomes

[dannyandjess]

If I could, I'd love to ask the hotwives one. How many of you had husbands that found this site first and came here for advice? Were you angry once you found out he'd been on here asking advice on how to help you on your journey? I'm worried that, if all goes as expected, even though it is totally up to my wife and on her control, will she be mad at me for coming here for advice?

[Out4fungirl]

that disconnect is a very useful part of being a hotwife for me. I get to go out and not be wife, mom, employee, sister, daughter, friend...I'm just a girl on a date. I set down the cumbersome parts of my life for a while and get to just play. it's no different than telling your family "I'm going to a movie alone tonight, see ya later!" your real world is still there when you get back but for a few hours, they aren't of critical importance. would I ignore my real life if it called while I was out and there was a true emergency? of course not, but I'm also not going to respond if i get a text from hubs asking me to pickup coffee on my way home (but I would pick up the coffee).

What I don't understand is why can't you women just drop life for a few hours and escape into sex with your husbands?

I'm not saying drop your other FBs but why can't your husband be your main FB? Why can't he be just as good an escape?

This is an honest question as I've heard similar things from women outside of this lifestyle.

I don't know of any HW on this forum who doesn't think of their hubby as their main FB. I'm sure there are some, but I don't recall seeing any. A more accurate version of this would be "why can't my hubby be satisfied with me only sleeping with him"?

[Buttercream]

If I could, I'd love to ask the hotwives one. How many of you had husbands that found this site first and came here for advice? Were you angry once you found out he'd been on here asking advice on how to help you on your journey? I'm worried that, if all goes as expected, even though it is totally up to my wife and on her control, will she be mad at me for coming here for advice?

I can't really help you with this.. My husband didn't come here first but he was on a couple other sites first. Not sure if he got advice but I want surprised he'd talked to others & so I wasn't mad.

[Buttercream]

1) Variety of sex
2) Different guys and their cocks for sex
3) I like turning hubby on
4) I like the attention
5) Something else (elaborate) MFM play
6) Better sex

[pasfuntime]

As a possible HW, ladies.... were you insecure with the idea? Felt like your man wanted for more reasons then he shared or different reasons... As a lady who has been hurt in the past. I'm hesitant. Hubby is totally amazing, doesn't push, it's totally in my hands. . . I want to because I love him and want to thrill him. But I've always had the monogamous thought process. And as I said I wonder if there is more to his fantasy. Did you experience the same feelings? Insecurities? What helped?

[Buttercream]

Welcome pasfuntime!
I think every woman thought this... At least they did if their husband was the 1 to bring it up.
I too was completely ready to be monogamous forever with my husband. I never had any other thought about it.

But I also KNOW my husband inside & out! He loves me completely & is not the type of guy to try & manipulate me for other reasons. He stated what he wanted & that's all. I honestly think, if he wanted to manipulate me for other reasons (which btw, my husband isn't subtle enough for manipulating anyone much less me), he would Not do it this way.
Just telling me his fantasy is brave! He had to be afraid of my reaction but decided he trusted me enough to get vulnerable & share it with me. That doesn't mean I Had to do it, because afterall, I'm the one having sex with others, but it is a treatment in how much he trusted me by even telling me.
I just remembered, he's my biggest fan & he always wants the best for me.

[curvy_1]

Ps, we've done the porn film things, toys, even a male sex doll but she unrelenting. Time to quit??

Depending on how y'all handle it, the talking, porn, sexdoll etc can be somewhat boring and tasteless to some women. Make it fun and appeal to her imagination.

[jeffisBIGGER]

My wife has always said that my fantasy disgusted her, and that I broke her heart by bringing it up. The other morning she tells me she wishes she was making love to this other guy she met earlier in the week, she said he was really sexy and handsome. What's going on?

[Out4fungirl]

My wife has always said that my fantasy disgusted her, and that I broke her heart by bringing it up. The other morning she tells me she wishes she was making love to this other guy she met earlier in the week, she said he was really sexy and handsome. What's going on?

It sounds like you should ask her that same question?

[craven mohr]

I would like to ask for opinions on something . . . .

My current GF has done some things that I believe indicate that she probably harbors an MFM fantasy. I will elaborate.

I admitted to her early in our relationship, during a discussion about cheating, that I had a previous GF who told me she wanted an MFM. Realizing that it wouldn't be the end of our relationship, I had arranged it. I gave her virtually no detail beyond that. The point was that if communication is open and honest, there is no cheating, and I'm self-confident enough to allow it.

This discussion happened face-to-face, and then continued in email. One email from her said, "I have nothing against threesomes, . . . . but no . . ." However, she then started doing her absolute best to guess which of my friends was the lucky guy. Several times. I have answered her honestly that I no longer hang with that guy, and she won't probably ever meet him. She then kind of tried to make it someone else I'm friends with. She really wants to put a name and face on 'Him'.

One evening she was coming to visit me at my house. She was a little coy about it, but pulled her vibrating dildo from her overnight bag as we were getting into bed. It was an AWESOME night for both of us.

She *knows* how to dress sexy. Two anklets all the time. (yeah, I know that's not proof) Clothes that are very cute, and fit just right. The shoes . . .. OMG. She was a model and a college-trained dancer. The way she moves is magic.

I told her we were going to meet up with a buddy that she'd never met last Saturday eve. She showed up dressed to fuck. I expected she would anyway, but there was not the hint that she was the least bit uncomfortable. She seemed disappointed when dude flaked on us.

When we made love last Saturday eve, (and times prior) she sucks my finger just like a cock as I move mine inside her. She is a very skilled lover. She also likes my thumb in her ass as I pump her vaginally. In fact, she had her own fingers in her ass one night.

So. I realize that each one of us is unique, just like the rest ;-) It seems to me as if she just needs to gain enough confidence in 'Us' to tell me that this is something she would enjoy. I'm doing all I can to foster that confidence in her, and I never mention it unless she brings it up.

Given the wisdom and experience of the group here, I humbly ask the hotwives on this forum for a read on my situation.

[Randyroot42]

I have not posted in a while. I came upon this thread and I have enjoyed reading it.
I do have a question.
Where is a good place, either online or in person to find a hot wife?
I like to think of myself as a nice guy and would enjoy the possibility of taking things slow with a beautiful woman.
Just a date and some flirting at first.
I live in Ithaca New York and I have been unsuccessful so far in my search.
Thank you for your replies.

[suckmeoff]

Any care to answet mine (sorry on mobile) http://www.ourhotwives.org/forum/viewto ... 05#p502105

[Mrs_Butterfly]

I'll ask the question again. What makes a switch go off where a conservative hot wife becomes a very busy dating girl? this becomes a persistent theme on the boards thanks

Did you really mean "conservative hot wife" or did you mean conservative wife prior to being a hot wife? I am going to answer as if you meant what makes her finally want to play. It could be life, a certain guy, or a challenge. Typically it is something that breaks the reserve, or something that "allows" the wife to break away from being so conservative. I thought about it for a very long time, like 10 years. I was finally issued a challenge. Mr B claimed he could find someone to be a FB within the week. Of course I knew he couldn't, so I was safe to play along. Lot's of hot talk, "shopping" and by the end of the week, I took my first of many FBs.

As far as being very busy, I am sure I was very busy for several years. It was new, it was fun, it was a LOT of attention during a time that I was feeling that I was getting older and less desirable. I guess it can become a drug of sorts.

As to what makes the switch go on or off, it is just that magical something within her.

[Buttercream]

So. I realize that each one of us is unique, just like the rest ;-) It seems to me as if she just needs to gain enough confidence in 'Us' to tell me that this is something she would enjoy. I'm doing all I can to foster that confidence in her, and I never mention it unless she brings it up.

Given the wisdom and experience of the group here, I humbly ask the hotwives on this forum for a read on my situation.

I think it appears you need to talk more with her. Bring it up even if she doesn't and tell her the idea makes you hot. That you were proud to show her off and loved that she got all dressed up.
And yes, I think you have to have a firm "us" before it can enter into other things in a healthy manner.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The New Dick?

Is this (within the range of) normal for the wife to ALWAYS want the BF 24/7 and mostly just want the hubby after the BF has his turn?

I think it is somewhat normal, but not to the extent you mentioned. I think you need to woo her! Romance her and give her the things she gets with a new guy. it seems like maybe you guys do the "same ole same ole" so she is enjoying the variety aspect the most SO give her variety!! Do something Completely out of character. (Though don't be surprised if the first couple of times you do this, she reacts "weirdly" cause you are not acting like she is expecting.
Put this on you and how YOU can change the situation. Not on how to make her change.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry suckmeoff, but you got your answer in your thread. It isn't any of your business what she does. And FYI, your name is sort of a turn off. It's all about You and every HotWife knows.. it's all about Her
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Randyroot42 - If you can figure that out, I'm betting there would be a long line of guys from here following you. Most of our husbands did not "find us in the "HotWife" section of a store. They found the woman they loved, wanted to be with forever and after a trust was built, they admitted to her a fantasy and it went from there.

[SSQ]

The New Dick?

My HW of 10 years gets totally into each new BF and wants him pretty much wants him 24/7.

When I come on to her (I'm not a cuck) she's often like "honey, I love you, but I'm not too much in the mood at the moment". When the BF calls she'll instantly become in the mood. She will do him anytime and anywhere and will never say NO to anything he wants. She's submissive to him. He's on the all-you-can-eat plan.

Now, I ALWAYS get to reclaim, so the truth is that I get a lot of sex for a married man, however, it's always sloppy seconds and never firsts. Now, I do love sloppy seconds, so I'm not really complaining about anything. But, it just seems like "shouldn't she prefer me some of the time?"

Her response is "I love you, but the new dick is always way more exciting!" When there is no new dick in the equation, we have sex 3-4x/mo. When there is a new dick in the picture, we have sex 3-4x/week, although I'm always second.

Is this (within the range of) normal for the wife to ALWAYS want the BF 24/7 and mostly just want the hubby after the BF has his turn?

Yup. NRE at its best.

[happygirl622]

As the "other" man in many situations over the years, two questions come to mind.


2) For those that don't, why the double standard? I do understand that some husbands simply do not want to but I have met a lot that did

Tiggerdog

2) Its not a double standard. Its just not sexually appealing for many HW or it would happen. Its something you can't control... you either think about it and become aroused or you don't; its not a fairness issue. I wouldn't expect my hubby to let me fuck other men if it didn't sexually excite him. And frankly, if it didn't turn him on and enhance our own sex life I wouldn't have an interest in it anyway. It sounds odd, but for us - FOR US - the HW experience is a team sport

[happygirl622]

I’ve got a question that I’ve never been able to figure out.
Why can’t Hotwives find a good bull?
You go on Craigslist and there’s hundred’s of guys. And they don’t even care if they show their faces. AFF, 1000’s of guys. AM…. Etc., etc. etc.
I’m not a bull, but every time I go to the gym, there are plenty of guys that would love to be a bull. They’re looking at everything that walks by them.
Just got back from the Seahawks game yesterday and more guys undressing women with their eyes.
It just seems like a numbers game.
Your thoughts?

Keep in mind we think differently than men even if we have a high libido. Yes there is 100's of guy on Craigslist. Out of those hundred 20% are just down right creepy. 35 out of the 80 are married cheaters that want to meet in a motel during the week and during working hours. 5 out of the 45 have a serious drug problem. 3 out of the 40 have no car and want you to pick them up. 2 of the 37 are traveling from out of town and will be in the area next week. 10 of the 35 are too young 10 out of 25 are too old. 10 of the 15 just want to meet at the hotel room, now out of that 10, 6 are just very unattractive, 1 sent pics of 3 different guys 3 are just pushy assholes. Now if you're still with me that leaves 5, 5 guys to possibly hook up with. 3 of them will tell you everything you want to hear right up to the moment they either rub one out and lose interest, or say they are going to show up and don't. 1 will and either have the personality of a rock, talk about how great he is, have a very bad odor, rotten teeth, or all of the above. That leaves 1.
He will have, performance anxiety, Admit that he has wife and start feeling guilty about it, act with so much bravado it gags you like a cheap heavy cologne, act like he is giving you the thrill of your life as he's pulling up his pants after 2 minutes of 5 inches of fury asking you "Was it good for you?" while I'm staring at the wall wondering why I even got dressed up and what hubby got me for dinner.
Or if you are truly lucky and I mean win $500 on a scratch-off lucky you find a true gem of a man. I got lucky I found a gem and married him.

EXACTLY... Or they can't construct a sentence, or they text incessantly, they want a GF not a FB, they aren't worth two cents in bed, they have NO stamina, there's just no chemistry when you finally meet, they can't kiss to save their lives, they ask 100 personal questions, they aren't focused on your pleasure as much as their own....

HW is fun but it can be frustrating as well!

[tacoshare]

Craven mohr - talk to her.

HappyHottieHubby - Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. We all have our own personal norms. Can you live with it?

Randyroot42 - what Buttercream said. I can't say it better than that.

SFnMDW - I have one friend I'm particularly open with. If she moves into this lifestyle I think it will be more because she's kinky already and not anything I've told her.

[D+D]

You ladies are beautiful in so many different ways.

[mundyman]

In a public setting, how do you hotwives prefer to be approached??

[Buttercream]

I appreciate the societal judgement aspect of this life and the desire for privacy....but have you ever confided in a friend of your lifestyle and that interested them to move into this life?

Well.. Kinda lol. When my husband 1st mentioned this, I was lucky enough to have my Very best friend visiting in the area. I wanted to know her thoughts. Now I didn't tell her we were thinking of getting into a lifestyle, but that husband's fantasy included another guy.
She told me that she could see it, that our marriage was strong enough to handle it.
Now. 5yrs later, I was visiting her.. She & I were enjoying wine on the porch when... She mentions some of their own fantasies & she trusted that I'd know how to handle it. Let's just say, they might be heading in this direction.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a public setting, how do you hotwives prefer to be approached??

do you mean in a meeting type situation or just a random guy approaching?