Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

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FWBinIndy
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by FWBinIndy » Fri Dec 30, 2016 6:42 pm

sherulestherooster wrote:Hi ladies,
I'm curious to know how much time is needed with a new partner for you both to have a consistently great experience. If it "depends", what does it depend on? My wife has had six partners now, and only one of them totally rocked her world on their first date. His fingering skills were magical (so I've heard). Does it take some time to get comfortable with a new partner?

Um ... it depends?? For me, if I didn't have "great" sex with someone the first time it was most likely due to feeling a little awkward in the first place. On rare occasions, I've said "why not??" and had sex with a guy that I wasn't THAT into. Those were the less than exciting partners. Each guy that I was really in to rocked my world the first time and every time. Those have also turned out to be the longest-term "other" partners for me because I have to like them as a person and enjoy their company to really feel the sexual chemistry. My personal sample size is 10; three of which were one-timers.

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by AnnesHubby » Mon Jan 02, 2017 9:41 am

mrs_hotwifecplsa wrote:
AnnesHubby wrote:My beautiful wife has agreed to make my fantasy real but it is something she says she is doing for me. I want to make this an enjoyable experience for her. It doesn't feel right. Do I go forward and set something up? I really want to share my wife and there is hope that she would like it after the mfm happened.
If she says she is only doing it 'for you', then don't expect her to enjoy it, or to want to do it again. And it could lead to bitterness and be used in future fights. She may be fine with a one time experiment, but don't expect more. A wife has to also want it for herself for it to the deep and meaningful and lasting experience and situation youre hoping it will be. She may be surprised and like it, but don't have high expectations of that. If she isn't enthusiastic about it, personally I wouldn't have her follow through with it. It could lead to more problems. The very fact that you tell her, 'honey it's ok, it's enough that you were willing to do it', may have the effect of making her think about it and later actually want to do it. This 'tactic' may seem a little manipulative, but it also shows that you love her and care about her feeling and your relationship with her. Good luck :)

This is exactly what I needed to hear. I really appreciate the advice.

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by sextiescouple » Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:33 am

Dear Hotwives, I interested in your reactions to the first time you had sex with a man other than your husband - the incident that confirmed you were, indeed, a hotwife.

When you woke the next day, how did you feel? Proud, anguished, concerned, afraid, anxious? And through the next few days, how did that feeling morph into something else?

I'll appreciate your answers.

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Bobbizhubby » Sun Jan 22, 2017 11:02 am

My wife and I are seriously considering having her try the being a hot wife. I do not consider myself a cuckold, but I have found myself becoming aroused when she talks about her previous experiences. could you address the highlights and pitfalls to becoming a hot wife.

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by funsized » Mon Jan 23, 2017 11:18 am

sextiescouple wrote:Dear Hotwives, I interested in your reactions to the first time you had sex with a man other than your husband - the incident that confirmed you were, indeed, a hotwife.

When you woke the next day, how did you feel? Proud, anguished, concerned, afraid, anxious? And through the next few days, how did that feeling morph into something else?

I'll appreciate your answers.
confused at first... its a lot to process once it actually happens

wykedjasmine
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by wykedjasmine » Tue Jan 24, 2017 4:20 am

sextiescouple wrote:Dear Hotwives, I interested in your reactions to the first time you had sex with a man other than your husband - the incident that confirmed you were, indeed, a hotwife.

When you woke the next day, how did you feel? Proud, anguished, concerned, afraid, anxious? And through the next few days, how did that feeling morph into something else?

I'll appreciate your answers.
I was a bit apprehensive at first but we had a lot of conversation before which reassured me. The guy was half my age but it was hot as hell. My reaction after..I was turned on for the next WEEK! My husband was there to watch it all unfold and I loved that. That night, my husband and I fucked much of the night then more the next morning. I could not get enough sex! Feeling was power...control...confident...invigorated...renewed...and more into my husband for giving me such an amazing experience, giving me his trust to do this! nothing negative at all.
Sexy Dominant poly hotwife

My current thread catching up on my adventures
viewtopic.php?f=9&t=58234

wykedjasmine
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by wykedjasmine » Tue Jan 24, 2017 4:29 am

Bobbizhubby wrote:My wife and I are seriously considering having her try the being a hot wife. I do not consider myself a cuckold, but I have found myself becoming aroused when she talks about her previous experiences. could you address the highlights and pitfalls to becoming a hot wife.
Good question ! you do not have to be a cuckold to enjoy sharing your wife. The term is actually compersion ""the positive feelings one gets when a lover is enjoying another relationship. Sometimes called the opposite or flip side of jealousy." another words, you get " a feeling of joy when your loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship. It can be hot. We talked a lot about this journey before we started and communicate even after each time being with a lover. that is the key to success. Bringing someone else into your relationship is not easy. We both have to be comfortable with the person and we are not looking for one time hookups but more ongoing. will jealously rear its head...oh Yes...it is a natural response, especially at first. Jealousy does not have to be bad though, it is all in how you react and handle the jealously! :) That reaction is a pitfall, so both of you need to be on board and talking...a lot! For me/us, highlights are many. More confidence, closer to my husband, love the extra sex, love threesomes ;), love the attention and also the fact I am meeting some really cool people in general!
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viewtopic.php?f=9&t=58234

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Patrinus » Tue Jan 24, 2017 1:29 pm

MrsTruckstar wrote:
I am a Psychologist, this is what I do for a living, so yes I got that from your post, singular. When you put it all together it does shout do this for me. However, she will get her confidence back and things will improve, however she has a lot to cope with right now and throw a whole heap of menopause in for good measure, tough times indeed.

My friend, I am not disrespecting you, you asked a question, I answered it. Your response led be to think, I should point out some stuff, I have. Doesn't mean you don't love her or shower her with praise and gifts, mentally, she is more than likely at the toughest time of her life, soon she will change and emerge as a beautiful butterfly, strong and resilient again. Give her some time.

lots of love
T
Psychologist? Great. I've been wanting to ask this question of someone who actually has some education in this field. A couple of weeks ago I got it into my head that sharing my girlfriend would be fun for both of us. I'm very sexually experienced and she isn't (massive age gap). Sometimes I feel that she got a little cheated out of 'sowing her wild oats' because I came along relatively early in her life. I, on the other hand, worked in the club scene for 13 years so I had many opportunities to engage in sex with a lot of women.

There's nothing I like better than being there helping my lady get off or seeing her get off by herself. When I mentioned the three way thing she found it 'interesting' and our sex was the most mutually intense it has been for the last two years that week before she cycled down right before her monthly vistor.

As far as her pursing it that's up to her. I am not the jealous type and we even discussed our 'rules' for if it ever happened. I want to be there, condoms mandatory, etc (this was mutual by the way).

My questions are these 1) Why would I want another guy to bang my future wife? I do and the thought excites me but it goes against every moral code I was raised with which brings me to 2) Do you think the Judao Christian teachings that pervade our day to day lives cause us to feel unnecessary guilt for having fantasies or acting on them that harm no one? 3) I can't find anything to base this on other than personal experience but I know women have cycles where they're more active than men and I find that I have a monthly cycle as well. For a couple of weeks I'll be all for anything then I'll cycle down and sex is the last thing on my mind. Sometimes it's a drag because our cycles aren't in synch and, while I can perform, that's really all it is. I'm a human dildo. Do you know anything about that?

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by JRE » Wed Jan 25, 2017 5:17 am

Just curious if there are any older wives willing to share their view on coping with the physical and emotional changes that come with age.

My wife is struggling with physical problems. She has never lost her desire for sex, but back ailments that have required multiple surgeries and procedures often get in the way of physical activity. That, along with a perception that she has lost her physical attractiveness to men, is convincing her that it’s time to retire, and I know she really misses hotwifing.

She has always preferred men who were ten to twenty years younger. The twenty year gap was not an issue when she was in her forties and even fifties, but the more rapid aging process encountered with the sixties severely reduced the dating pool of forty-something men with an older woman fetish. I’ve tried to encourage her to revise her parameters to include men in their fifties…to even seventy, but she’s convinced that at that age they can no longer perform and that she already has an old husband and doesn’t need an old boyfriend.

I know she really misses the NRE of meeting someone new, as well as fun times when she had a steady boyfriend. Although she won’t admit it I’m convinced she is actually more concerned about her attractiveness than she is about physical limitations. I understand the fear many women experience when beauty begins to fade, but she is still a very attractive woman. I keep telling her that, and her female friends envy her looks, but once lost, confidence is difficult to restore.

She has always enjoyed a flirtatious life and had many men friends, both casual and intimate. Sex was always just another measure of friendship that she didn’t hesitate to share. Even if physical problems would limit the sex now, I know that just having more men in her life would make her happier. I also know there are many men her age who would love to have an intimate relationship with a woman like her. Though they might think they want a young woman, sharing a bed with an attractive older woman is acceptable to most, and I'm sure spending a night in bed with someone new would also do wonders for her ego and her libido. The problem is getting her to accept the idea that as we age, emotional friendship can be as important as a mind-blowing sexual relationship.

I know her health issues can't be cured on a forum, but are there any ideas how to convince her that she's still desirable?

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mrs_hotwifecplsa
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by mrs_hotwifecplsa » Wed Jan 25, 2017 9:04 pm

Desibull wrote:Do you tell your doctor or gynecologist that you have "multiple sex partners" given you are already married?
Only if you want proper medical care.

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Wisher » Thu Jan 26, 2017 1:48 pm

Wives, how blunt do you like a new guy to be? How graphic? I'm nearly 100% certain I'll never meet any of you if only because of location and planning. I doubt I'm near any of you and I don't travel much.


But if it ever were to happen, I might be inclined to be a bit blunt and aggressive. I wouldn't be interested in being friends or the 'nice guy'. I wouldn't be coming there (wherever there is) to have sex with you or make love to you. That's for your husband and/or boyfriend. I'd be coming there to fuck you. I'd expect you to do what I say, wear what I tell you, etc.

Now, I'm sure many of you would scratch me off your list right now without even replying, but I'm curious about those that wouldn't.
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mrs_hotwifecplsa
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by mrs_hotwifecplsa » Sat Jan 28, 2017 3:55 pm

Desibull wrote:
mrs_hotwifecplsa wrote:
Desibull wrote:Do you tell your doctor or gynecologist that you have "multiple sex partners" given you are already married?
Only if you want proper medical care.
Do they respond in a professional manner?
Of course. That is there job, and they can't properly do there job if they don't know what you are doing. for example, I told my GYN that I have multiple sex partners what do I need to do or know. She gave me the usual safe sex info and recommended several vaccines, which I took. She also said I should do the routine exam once a 2 to 3 times a year depending on just how active I am.

There are a few people you don't lie to or keep info from: you doctor and lawyer are among them.

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mrs_hotwifecplsa
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by mrs_hotwifecplsa » Sat Jan 28, 2017 4:06 pm

Wisher wrote:Wives, how blunt do you like a new guy to be? How graphic? I'm nearly 100% certain I'll never meet any of you if only because of location and planning. I doubt I'm near any of you and I don't travel much.


But if it ever were to happen, I might be inclined to be a bit blunt and aggressive. I wouldn't be interested in being friends or the 'nice guy'. I wouldn't be coming there (wherever there is) to have sex with you or make love to you. That's for your husband and/or boyfriend. I'd be coming there to fuck you. I'd expect you to do what I say, wear what I tell you, etc.

Now, I'm sure many of you would scratch me off your list right now without even replying, but I'm curious about those that wouldn't.
Wisher, that is more or less what we want too, but before you get to that point, you got to show that you respect us and can talk in a normal manner. Me personally, I like an aggressive assertive man who is there to fuck me, just as you described, but if we bumped into each other at the grocery store, youre not going to introduce yourself to me by saying Hi bitch let's go fuck. It's going to start off much more gentle and coy, like all meetings with someone new, then as we talk and read our body language, you discover I'm married but obviously interested and attracted, we fall into what we want form each other. Then we meet with husband, establishing expectations and boundaries, safe words, whatever. I want to see that you are a serious and 'normal' person and can carry on a conversation and know how to show respect. Once we get past that, the door closes, the clothes come off, you can lose that nice guy façade and give me what I really want, the way I really want it.. ;)

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Wisher » Sat Jan 28, 2017 4:58 pm

mrs_hotwifecplsa wrote: but before you get to that point, you got to show that you respect us and can talk in a normal manner. Me personally, I like an aggressive assertive man who is there to fuck me, just as you described, but if we bumped into each other at the grocery store, youre not going to introduce yourself to me by saying Hi bitch let's go fuck. It's going to start off much more gentle and coy, like all meetings with someone new, then as we talk and read our body language, you discover I'm married but obviously interested and attracted, we fall into what we want form each other. Then we meet with husband, establishing expectations and boundaries, safe words, whatever. I want to see that you are a serious and 'normal' person and can carry on a conversation and know how to show respect. Once we get past that, the door closes, the clothes come off, you can lose that nice guy façade and give me what I really want, the way I really want it.. ;)
The small talk, the seduction, the schmoozing is one place I have a problem. Always have. I've been told it in many ways. But I have always been Me, whether anybody else liked it or not. I got kind of messed up through life and was dealt a number of bad hands. See the 'When Life Gets Real' thread. I told a lot of the story when I first got here, but threads get purged with no responses and I guess it was too deep for readers.

My ex treated me badly, turned Pro, did a lot of bad things including theft and DUI. She basically went insane. Some sort of brain issue that caused her to be dangerous, so people avoided her. When she died, it messed me up more that I figured it would. I guess somehow I need to work through some of that and take some aggressions out on a (willing) wife, somebody else's. Not bad aggressions though; nothing that would cause her, or them any problems.


I'm not sure what all I'm trying to say ... just typing stuff. I'm not doing very well and have trouble relating to people.
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mrs_hotwifecplsa
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by mrs_hotwifecplsa » Sun Jan 29, 2017 6:53 am

Wisher wrote:
mrs_hotwifecplsa wrote: but before you get to that point, you got to show that you respect us and can talk in a normal manner. Me personally, I like an aggressive assertive man who is there to fuck me, just as you described, but if we bumped into each other at the grocery store, youre not going to introduce yourself to me by saying Hi bitch let's go fuck. It's going to start off much more gentle and coy, like all meetings with someone new, then as we talk and read our body language, you discover I'm married but obviously interested and attracted, we fall into what we want form each other. Then we meet with husband, establishing expectations and boundaries, safe words, whatever. I want to see that you are a serious and 'normal' person and can carry on a conversation and know how to show respect. Once we get past that, the door closes, the clothes come off, you can lose that nice guy façade and give me what I really want, the way I really want it.. ;)
The small talk, the seduction, the schmoozing is one place I have a problem. Always have. I've been told it in many ways. But I have always been Me, whether anybody else liked it or not. I got kind of messed up through life and was dealt a number of bad hands. See the 'When Life Gets Real' thread. I told a lot of the story when I first got here, but threads get purged with no responses and I guess it was too deep for readers.

My ex treated me badly, turned Pro, did a lot of bad things including theft and DUI. She basically went insane. Some sort of brain issue that caused her to be dangerous, so people avoided her. When she died, it messed me up more that I figured it would. I guess somehow I need to work through some of that and take some aggressions out on a (willing) wife, somebody else's. Not bad aggressions though; nothing that would cause her, or them any problems.


I'm not sure what all I'm trying to say ... just typing stuff. I'm not doing very well and have trouble relating to people.
Well, this conversation shows to me that you are an interesting and complex person, and I can understand your needs. Sounds like your opening up just fine :) And it's not so much 'small talk', as much as it is starting off slower, but still steering the conversation in the direction you want to go, to give the wife a chance to feel right about you being her next man. If she is a hotwife, and you're making her feel comfortable, she will respond letting you know she is available. Then you can move on to the heavier stuff and details of an encounter.

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Wisher » Sat Mar 04, 2017 5:21 pm

Does yer undies gotta match?!



I've seen so many pictures here of mismatched undies, it make me wonder. It looks like they reached in the drawer in the dark and grabbed whatever they got to first. You know, like guys do.



So, for those that wear any, do you make sure they match? Or do you deliberately wear mismatched sets for some reason?
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Liamjas » Wed Mar 08, 2017 10:07 am

Are any hotwives into telling their cuck hubby how much better the sex feels with the bull when he is fucking her / or when she gets back from her date with him?

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Jamie123 » Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:18 am

So my wife is now fucking her ex-boyfriend regularly. We are all heterosexual, but even as a man, I can see why my wife wants him so much. He's tall, good looking, ripped body, big cock, and he can last in bed!

Okay, so here it goes. My wife was giving me a handjob while we were discussing sex. Hot! I was hard as a rock, and I think sometimes the truth comes out when both parties are aroused! So my wife, while giving me a handjob, says somethings towards, "I could so get used to [NAME] fucking me every day!" I was so turned on, but also surprised. I immediately started kissing her deeply. While still stroking my shaft, she says, "Would you like that?" What am I going to say? The thought of my sexy wife getting the sex and cock that she needs turns me on so much.

So, what are your thoughts on my wife having sex at least several times per week with her ex? We totally love each other and I trust her.

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mrs_hotwifecplsa
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by mrs_hotwifecplsa » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:04 pm

Liamjas wrote:Are any hotwives into telling their cuck hubby how much better the sex feels with the bull when he is fucking her / or when she gets back from her date with him?
Yes, every time.

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by fantasyhwhusband » Mon Apr 17, 2017 5:58 pm

Just joined the forum. My wife and I have had seriously hot dirty talk while having sex about the HW lifestyle. I've read through this thread, and can't seem to find the question I want to ask. If it has and I missed it, please direct me to it.

Those of you that are established HW's, if your husband, for whatever reason, asked that you stop this lifestyle, would you? If so, would you resent him for it? If not, would you divorce him? If you did "stop", would you continue your play time on the side without his knowledge?

I ask because if my wife and I travel down this road, and for one reason or another, I can't continue the journey, is it a matter of opening pandora's box and never being able to close it again....

Thanks for your replies.

altbeir

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by altbeir » Tue Apr 18, 2017 12:10 am

fhwh welcome to the forums .

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by coastalkid » Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:29 am

Hotwives can you tell when your husband realizes that he will never be as good as your lovers? Have you experienced him shutting down but he's reluctant to say anything because it took so much work to get you there in the first place? I know for me, desiring some variation in our sex life has been a marriage long quest but I'm beginning to doubt if it wouldn't just become a new source of frustration for me.

I already am hypersensitive to my ability to excite my wife after 39 years of marriage. To have a virtual stranger ignite the passion you've worked for, been patient with, and wanted to see in your wife for so long turned on in an instant would be confusing.

I've read lots of husbands and bf's say things like, "This is a team sport", but I haven't really read much about HW's saying the same thing. Often you read from the HW's, "Well, you're the one that wanted this!", which seems a little insensitive. The stories you read here (mainly from guys) talk about how they worked to make their fantasy come true. Do any of you HW's feel the responsibility of protecting your husband's joy? Have you come to the realization that your responsibilities have changed and that you need to be careful? I know having my wife reluctantly fulfilling my fantasies would feel half empty and I wouldn't enjoy it or find it exciting knowing she was reluctant.

Have any of you HW's experienced this? What did/have you done?

Thank you so much ladies! I'm so appreciative of your input here whether it's mild or wild! It's just nice to have a frank discussion with a woman!
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by mrs_hotwifecplsa » Thu Apr 27, 2017 3:52 pm

Newhubby2this wrote:
mrs_hotwifecplsa wrote:
Liamjas wrote:Are any hotwives into telling their cuck hubby how much better the sex feels with the bull when he is fucking her / or when she gets back from her date with him?
Yes, every time.
Is it always true, or is it part of the kink for you guys?
It's definitely part of the kink for us. Guess it depends on the couple and what motivates them & turns them on.

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Mr1SexyGILF » Sat May 13, 2017 5:41 pm

Newhubby2this wrote:So we have tried to meet a few guys. Been stood up a few times. One success. She is tired of being flaked on. Any advice fromte wives? I mean, if she wants to stop, no worries. We stop. But she loved it and I can imagine the standing up issue must make her feel terrible. Idk. Any advice?
I think that you might find this thread helpful.

http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=46038

You could even encourage your wife to read it through.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Shellydawn » Sun May 14, 2017 7:19 pm

fantasyhwhusband wrote:Just joined the forum. My wife and I have had seriously hot dirty talk while having sex about the HW lifestyle. I've read through this thread, and can't seem to find the question I want to ask. If it has and I missed it, please direct me to it.

Those of you that are established HW's, if your husband, for whatever reason, asked that you stop this lifestyle, would you? If so, would you resent him for it? If not, would you divorce him? If you did "stop", would you continue your play time on the side without his knowledge?

I ask because if my wife and I travel down this road, and for one reason or another, I can't continue the journey, is it a matter of opening pandora's box and never being able to close it again....

Thanks for your replies.
Hubby did call it quits for a while. I wasn't happy about it. At all. But i got over it. I didn't play without his knowledge. He eventually said game on again though.

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