Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

For hotwives and the men who adore them.
wykedjasmine
Verified Hot Wife
Posts: 1720
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 7:05 am

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by wykedjasmine » Thu Nov 08, 2018 5:32 am

alphastag wrote:My son has a college recruitment weekend at a big school in Texas. It's the same day as a college football game so all the hotels are almost booked up. My wife and I are just beginning to explore her being a hotwife and she says she's just into the 'fantasy' of it. Maybe occasional flirting and such. So when I introduced the idea of just her taking our son to the recruitment weekend and staying for a few days, she became interested. I told her she could go out on Friday and Saturday if she wanted to and have an 'adventure' if she felt like it. I never thought she'd bite, but she went so far as to try and find another hotel room. We have talked about it some more and she says she's very conflicted about going without me. She thinks it'd be fun, but she says she doesn't see herself going out by herself. Of course, I told her to at least take a sexy dress if she changed her mind. I have feelings of fear mixed with the thrill that she's interested. She says that flirting is ok, but the idea of 'going through with anything' goes against everything she has known. She doesn't say "I won't do it". Instead, she seems unsure when she says, "I can't see myself doing it." I tell her no problem. She doesn't have to do anything. Just getting something quiet time for a few days at a hotel is fine. But, if she wants to go and have a drink at a bar and Uber back she could just to feel what it's like to do it. She nods as though she is contemplating.

Am I handling this right?

A.S.
I think you are handling it well...and think she is on the cusp of going through with it soon :) So hope you are ready for the rollercoaster of feelings that may hit you soon! :)
Sexy Dominant poly hotwife

My current thread catching up on my adventures
viewtopic.php?f=9&t=58234

Plus81173
Prepubescent
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:09 pm

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Plus81173 » Sat Nov 10, 2018 8:04 am

Ok.. I know thia question has probably been asked. But what advice do you have for a wife that has been told, kind of shows a had of excitement...but still says no.

Mr517sexymexy
Prepubescent
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2018 7:34 am

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Mr517sexymexy » Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:59 am

Plus81173 wrote:Ok.. I know thia question has probably been asked. But what advice do you have for a wife that has been told, kind of shows a had of excitement...but still says no.
Yeah that’s definitely been asked a lot. I’d say, in the short time I’ve been on this site, at least 20% of the questions asked are “how to ask/tell/convince my wife to be a hotwife/cuckholdress” in some way or another!
In summary: patience, discussions outside of the “bedroom”, role play/video/stories, don’t push, except that she may never do it, LOVE, HONESTY and COMMUNICATION<—— last three being the trifecta of any good relationship and a must for these type of relationships.
This site is a treasure trove of information and is worth reading through many threads. Never boring, often thought provoking, all kinds of different and often very erotic. So it’s worth spending some time reading threads, especially this one.
And it can’t hurt to introduce her to the site and get her involved here. She can get verified and gives her access to a forum just for the ladies.
And read the stickies!

Enjoy

Iris777

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Iris777 » Wed Nov 14, 2018 6:35 am

Plus81173 wrote:Ok.. I know thia question has probably been asked. But what advice do you have for a wife that has been told, kind of shows a had of excitement...but still says no.
Like many things, for some women, this is a more exciting as a fantasy than in reality.

As has been said, trust and communication are vital. And let her go at her pace. You for things to go faster than she’s ready and at best, you’ll piss her off. At worst, you ruin her trust and it can have serious ramifications to your marriage.

If and when she’s readt, she will agree.

2inUPMichigan
VHW Admin
Posts: 6261
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Wed Nov 14, 2018 7:06 am

Plus81173 wrote:Ok.. I know thia question has probably been asked. But what advice do you have for a wife that has been told, kind of shows a had of excitement...but still says no.
In your previous thread you stated that you had an open an honest discussion with your wife. She clearly told you that she "fought to overcome her past cheating, and changed her sex life". Also that this "affected her faith walk".
She was open to listening to your fantasy and even told you if she ever changed her mind that she would come to you.

She has given you her answer and it was "no". She was respectful of you and listened to you and you will have to do the same for her. Pushing her or trying to convince her is not the way to change her mind about her answer. If she ever decides to change her mind it has to be her own decision or she may come to resent you.
Her body, her decision.
If she is open to hearing about your fantasies then share those with her - some men don't have wives that want to hear about their fantasies.

http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=52011

2inUPMichigan
VHW Admin
Posts: 6261
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Wed Nov 14, 2018 8:41 am

coastalkid wrote:In another thread about confronting your wife/gf hidden affairs I noticed a common theme. Many husbands/bfs seem confused when they give their permission to seek out lovers with the condition that their wives/gfs tell them about it, yet many wives still hide it from them. It seems like the worst thing a wife or gf could do. I know some relationships can accept this because of previously agreeing to the extent of freedom given but most seem to want to be in on the loop. Why? Have you done it? It doesn't seem like many survive this.
I honestly don't get it either :???:

Cheating is cheating in my book and being a hot wife or in an open relationship is all about open communication. The two have nothing to do with each other - but that is just my opinion, others may see it differently.

The only things that remotely come to mind are "shame", "power control" and "selfishness" as potential reasons.

And obviously from my answer no I have never, would never and won't be with a cheat.

TrojanHorse
Virgin
Posts: 28
Joined: Wed Dec 20, 2017 2:10 pm

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by TrojanHorse » Wed Nov 21, 2018 8:38 am

Well... We have only talked about it and I don't think my wife has slept with anyone so far.. but my wife actually talked about this to me and she said that she finds cheating hot.. Having sex outside and trying to hide from husband is apparently a rush.. anyhow, so she made a deal that she is allowed to cheat on me once in her life.. but no emotional cheating, just something like a one time bang..

wifeslave
Prepubescent
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Sep 27, 2018 1:00 am

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by wifeslave » Wed Nov 28, 2018 12:47 am

How many hotwives felt guilty after their first time?

My wife wants to try it (her suggestion), but she's worried about how she will feel afterward. She's also worried about our kids finding out.

funsized
Verified Hot Wife
Posts: 113
Joined: Wed Aug 14, 2013 5:56 pm

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by funsized » Wed Nov 28, 2018 4:45 pm

wifeslave wrote:How many hotwives felt guilty after their first time?

My wife wants to try it (her suggestion), but she's worried about how she will feel afterward. She's also worried about our kids finding out.
The first time was a flood of emotions. Regret and guilt are part of that flood, so is joy, lust, happiness, sadness, etc. Take the time to process those emotions as a couple before continuing.

User avatar
Rev Nasty
Prepubescent
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2018 11:23 am

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Rev Nasty » Sun Dec 02, 2018 7:39 pm

Hello women, I hope this thread is still active, I was out this weekend by myself and I found myself looking at couples and trying to tell which ones would allow me to take over that role for her. How does this work will the woman approach me? Should I approach the woman? Let me know how you like it to go down.
Change is not the end of the road....
Unless you fail to make the turn.

Zippycup
Prepubescent
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Dec 02, 2018 9:56 pm

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Zippycup » Sun Dec 02, 2018 10:14 pm

My wife has gone from it's never going to happen too, there's a very, very slight chance that she'd be interested.

I think I'm at the most vital part of my/our journey and I need help so I don't mess it up.

I've been telling her that this is my fantasy for well over three years now. She went from being confused by it all to the point now where she openly admits that the idea turns her on.

I've lost count of the amount of times I've nearly given up, but I'm so glad I stuck with it.

How hard do I push this now, I don't think she'll bring it up as I think she's scared to admit it to herself.

I've done all the talking in bed stuff, the role play, etc. but that's not my sticking point. I think I need her to properly admit that she wants to do this before we can move forward. Am I right in thinking that?

User avatar
zoe
2 Bit Whore
Posts: 1440
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2010 7:57 pm

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by zoe » Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:16 am

Drawing upon the collective experiences and opinions ...

Do you think that a woman’s sexual satisfaction in her marriage, either positive or not, plays a role in her decision to play with others?

sadie

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by sadie » Tue Dec 04, 2018 2:51 pm

I think it's bi-modal, obviously the classic story is she's not satisfied by husband and seeks a lover to get that. I think for what most people here prefer, it's more about their sex lives are good and that fuels wanting even more.

ssanders
Virgin
Posts: 25
Joined: Sun Aug 12, 2012 5:31 pm

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by ssanders » Wed Dec 05, 2018 7:20 am

sadie wrote:I think it's bi-modal, obviously the classic story is she's not satisfied by husband and seeks a lover to get that. I think for what most people here prefer, it's more about their sex lives are good and that fuels wanting even more.
That makes a lot of sense to me, otherwise what would keep them together? I wish I wasn't as wired to crave humiliation and denial as I am. Are their any W's out there (for one reason or another) deny or avoid H, either because of erotic or practical reasons?

ssanders
Virgin
Posts: 25
Joined: Sun Aug 12, 2012 5:31 pm

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by ssanders » Wed Dec 05, 2018 7:37 am

What first attracts you to a man that you are interested in?

2inUPMichigan
VHW Admin
Posts: 6261
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Wed Dec 05, 2018 12:02 pm

newbiecuck wrote:What first attracts you to a man that you are interested in?
Well this question can be answered many ways:
When I look at a profile what attracts me? His height (I'm tall), his smile and his eyes and then if these elements are there I read what he wrote. If the profile is empty I'm no longer interested. I'm looking for some personality and someone that can communicate their interests and what they are looking for.
If he can't attract my mind it doesn't matter what he looks like.

ssanders
Virgin
Posts: 25
Joined: Sun Aug 12, 2012 5:31 pm

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by ssanders » Tue Dec 11, 2018 6:16 am

2inUPMichigan wrote:
newbiecuck wrote:What first attracts you to a man that you are interested in?
Well this question can be answered many ways:
When I look at a profile what attracts me? His height (I'm tall), his smile and his eyes and then if these elements are there I read what he wrote. If the profile is empty I'm no longer interested. I'm looking for some personality and someone that can communicate their interests and what they are looking for.
If he can't attract my mind it doesn't matter what he looks like.
When you meet someone in person, what makes a good impression at that point? Do you know right away if someone is a good prospect, or does it take a few meetings and conversations?

2inUPMichigan
VHW Admin
Posts: 6261
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Tue Dec 11, 2018 8:35 am

newbiecuck wrote:
2inUPMichigan wrote:
newbiecuck wrote:What first attracts you to a man that you are interested in?
Well this question can be answered many ways:
When I look at a profile what attracts me? His height (I'm tall), his smile and his eyes and then if these elements are there I read what he wrote. If the profile is empty I'm no longer interested. I'm looking for some personality and someone that can communicate their interests and what they are looking for.
If he can't attract my mind it doesn't matter what he looks like.
When you meet someone in person, what makes a good impression at that point? Do you know right away if someone is a good prospect, or does it take a few meetings and conversations?
For me I only meet in person after communicating online for awhile, so I already know a lot about the person. I don't waste my time going out to meet someone unless I think there could be potential. The meeting is to see if there is physical chemistry. That does not mean that he is guaranteed a trip to a hotel room on that first meeting!
Each situation is different but it is a gut feeling, a connection. If it is there fine, if not I won't bother with a second meeting. They also have to present themselves well. You can hide that you are a jerk or creep online but it isn't as easy in person.

User avatar
coastalkid
Pervert
Posts: 561
Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 4:55 pm
Location: Central California Valley/Central Coast

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by coastalkid » Sat Dec 15, 2018 11:19 am

I know it's sort of a generational thing but, how many of you HotWives have a tattoo? Neither my wife or I have any tattoos (I'm not against them but I haven't thought of something I want for the rest of my life). I can't help but think that adorning your body in a way to be expressive or attractive has a connection to the self confidence it takes to be a hotwife. I know it's not all as simple as that but it seems the people willing to take that plunge are mentally prepared to take others. If you're not tattooed (with ink by the way) I'd like to know that too. My guess is most are.
Hope is not a strategy but it's still good to have! Especially if you don't have a strategy!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!

Iris777

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Iris777 » Sun Dec 16, 2018 2:11 pm

coastalkid wrote:I know it's sort of a generational thing but, how many of you HotWives have a tattoo? Neither my wife or I have any tattoos (I'm not against them but I haven't thought of something I want for the rest of my life). I can't help but think that adorning your body in a way to be expressive or attractive has a connection to the self confidence it takes to be a hotwife. I know it's not all as simple as that but it seems the people willing to take that plunge are mentally prepared to take others. If you're not tattooed (with ink by the way) I'd like to know that too. My guess is most are.

I have several, most not visible when dressed. They all have very specific meaning to me, none sexual. Tattoos have nothing to do with a woman’s sexuality unless she chooses for them to be. I got mine before embarking on this lifestyle because what they represent is important to me.

User avatar
Mr1SexyGILF
2 Bit Whore
Posts: 1166
Joined: Sat Sep 04, 2010 8:56 am
Location: Rocky Mountains

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Mr1SexyGILF » Mon Dec 17, 2018 11:35 pm

Old and jaded wrote:
Old and jaded wrote:A straight question for the hotwifes. I will give some background first, sexually, I am very much the "top" or dominant rin our relationship, I am ten years older than her, and much more experienced and am constantly encouraging her to push her sexual boundaries. She is very conservative, the only lover she had prior to me is her ex husband, who was the stereotypical asian husband, not considerate in bed, DEEPLY sexually insecure, and OBSESSIVELY posessive and jealous. Theres a reason why I am giving this amount of background, as you will see, its relevant.

We have been married 12 years, have a child, and she is nearing menopause. There has been some discomfort for her regarding the number of partners I have had ( I admit it is a substantial number, I didnt marry until I was 46, lets just say I have a had a "fullfilling" life). In January of last year, I suggested that we could have a threesome with a man that I know she has a fairly deep mutual attraction with, both sexual and emotional, or if she didnt want to do that, they could expand thier relationship to include sex and dating. She flat said no to that, and I then told her that she could also see other men if she found someone that she was attracted to. I explained to her, that I recognized that her previous experience is very limited, that I dont "own" her, and I am not threatened by her exploring her sexuality further, that I dont feel it is reasonable or even sane to subscribe to a belief that any one man should be able to meet all of any one womans needs, and that we are getting older, and "forever until death do us part" is a hell of a long time, and I dont want her to move forward feeling any regrets. I also told her flat out that I LOVE seeing her come, and that given the opportunity, I would,love for her to either A) come home and talk to me about a satisfying sexual encounter, or watch her have one, or best of all, have a threeway with her and a guy she is hot for. I made it clear that it was all about her, that I am not trying to use it as cover for exploring any homosexual fantasies, and I am not looking for a hall pass for myself to fuck other women. I also said that if she did do this, the only thing I ask is that I be kept informed, and that if things got too far out of control emotionally, that I have a veto, and she would respect that and end it.
Ok, so enough background that you understand the circumstance surrounding this. Starting around late May, I started to get the feeling that she was seeing someone. Her schedule changed in a very distinct predictable pattern. She started to come home every Saturday at between 1:45-1:55 am. To be clear, she does run her own business, and it does often involve some late nights, but in the past, those late nights have been sporadic and unpredictible. What was odd about this was the consistant pattern. It is also notable in that it is a full hour later than any of the late nights she had worked previously, in the past, the latest she would ever come home would be around 12:30, and there was no set pattern to it. Prior to this pattern emerging, I have no problem believing that those sporadic late nights were legitimately work related.
This went on VERY constistantly until we left the country for a month, when we returned, the pattern started up again the very first saturday after we were back, and at that point, I talked to her about it, in a gentle and non-confrontational way, I was kind and not angry or agressive, but said " look, it seems fairly obvious to me that ypu are having an affair, I dont feel like this pattern is consistant with working late, something is clearly going on here, and I would like to talk about it." She became defensive, and said " I am working hard to make money for the family, and this is how you react? I would love to be home with you, but I am trying to build a successful business, to benefit us". After that, she started coming home between 12:45 and 12:55 every saturday night, so the time changed a little, but the distinctive pattern remained.
Throughout all this, there is no indication whatsoever that she is stepping out of the relationship, in fact, it has been the opposite, she is much more loving and engaged, and our sex life has improved a lot. She is still somewhat more restrained than what I am used to, and there is still room for more intensity, but it has improved a GREAT deal. The only thing is, on those nights when she comes home really late, she rejects any sexual contact and rolls over and goes to sleep.
Ok, so we are getting down to the meat of the matter. Around the 14th of October, this suddenly all stopped, cold turkey. I had been thinking that she had been fucking the family friend that I had suggested for the threesome, and I knew he left the country on the 25th, her period had landed on the previous weekend, so this seemed consistant. I am ok with him, he is involved, knows my kid, we are pretty friendly, I "trust" him not to try to break up my marriage.
Thing is, he was out of the country till yesterday, but it all kicked off again, with increased intensity on Nov 28th, well before he was back. On Wednesday the 28th, she came home at 12:41, on Friday the 30th at 1:20, and on Friday the 7th of December, she came home at 1:36.
On Friday the 30th, when she came home, I tried to initiate sex, I wanted to see if her pussy was dilated. She initially said no, said "I dont think its because you want sex, I think you are trying to check up on me". I told her a bit of a lie, I told her "dont be silly, a guy cant really tell that way" which would be true if it was 3-4 hours, not so true when its 15 minutes to half hour, which is what I figured it was. She is normally slow to come up to speed, and even when she is, she is VERY tight. I avoided foreplay and went pretty much straight to penetration, as fast as I figured I could get away with, without being TOTALLY obvious about what I was doing, and she was wet and wide open, probably the loosest I have ever felt her.

OK, so ladies only please, heres the question, is there ANYTHING that could account for this other than her getting fucked just before she came home? I am quite certian she is fucking someone, but I am asking this because I want to confront her with this, and if there is another reason and she WASNT fucking her boyfriend on that PARTICULAR night, Im going to be the one whos fucked. Her period isnt due till early this week, so it wasnt because menstration was imminent, and we had sex (VERY HOT sex, she has beautiful tits, she was on top, and I was watching her locket bounce up and down on top of them and thinking about her with another guys BIG cock in her the night before, and him enjoying that same view) and her pussy was a snug as it had always been, so I dont really think its something hormonal related to menopause or something.
But like I say, and I want this to be clear, I plan use this as leverage to try to finally get some honesty happening here, and if there IS another reason, even if she IS fucking someone( VERY little question in my mind at this point), if it wasnt that night, and I go "hard" on this point, I will make myself look like a fool, which will damage my chances of getting that truth to come out. Ladies, is there ANYTHING that you know of that could cause her to be like the proverbial "hot dog in a hallway" and be back to normal the next day, I need to know. If I am going to double down on four kings, I have to be sure she isnt holding four aces.
FWIW, I had a long talk with a close mutual friend yesterday, and there was also a new development with her, I have decided to continue with "softly softly" rather than to press for a resolution in terms of trying getting her to open up right now. So its no longer relevant to get feedback on the above situation. Sometimes people just need a little more time and understanding to feel safe enough to open up, more than they need an "intervention", after whats gone on this weekend, I think this is one of those times.
Your situation is quite intriguing. We would enjoy it if you would start your own thread and keep us updated as this develops.

Mr GILF
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss

ssanders
Virgin
Posts: 25
Joined: Sun Aug 12, 2012 5:31 pm

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by ssanders » Wed Dec 19, 2018 1:15 pm

What aspects (if any) help you feel closer to your hubby and are there any practices you enjoy to promote such closeness?

Iris777

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Iris777 » Thu Dec 27, 2018 7:09 pm

newbiecuck wrote:What aspects (if any) help you feel closer to your hubby and are there any practices you enjoy to promote such closeness?
That I can talk to my husband about all of this - the good, the bad, the absurd and the funny. We connect about all of it. It’s not about the size of the cock or the number of orgasms, although that does get my beloved going. It’s more about figuring out who these men are so that the whole experience is more successful

User avatar
Wisher
$2 Ho
Posts: 839
Joined: Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:05 am
Location: Your Nightmares

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Wisher » Fri Dec 28, 2018 9:32 am

Ladies Only ....


There are a lot of different threads where guys discuss wearing feminine things. I rarely see any of the wives comment in any way. Is that because:

1. You don't see those threads?

2. You avoid those threads?

3. You choose not to comment so as not to offend?

4. You really don't like it?
>>>> Obligatory Dick Pic >>>>> (And the only one I haven't blocked) >>>>

2inUPMichigan
VHW Admin
Posts: 6261
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Fri Dec 28, 2018 9:49 am

Wisher wrote:Ladies Only ....


There are a lot of different threads where guys discuss wearing feminine things. I rarely see any of the wives comment in any way. Is that because:

1. You don't see those threads?

2. You avoid those threads?

3. You choose not to comment so as not to offend?

4. You really don't like it?
For me it's just not something that appeals to me in a partner.
I have no issues with men in general choosing to wear feminine clothing but I don't find it sexy at all. No point in making comments on a subject that I have no interest in, there are plenty of other threads that do interest me. (live and let live)
So my answers are:
Yes I see the threads but have no interest
No I don't purposely avoid them but again it isn't something that would catch my interest
My not commenting has nothing to do with not offending it is lack of interest.
Really don't like? I guess I could fit here. It's not my thing! But I don't dislike that others choose this.

Post Reply