Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

For hotwives and the men who adore them.
Wifedates

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Wifedates » Sat May 26, 2018 12:57 pm

I just wanted to say this thread has great avatars.

Ratko
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Ratko » Tue May 29, 2018 1:42 pm

So my gf and I were talking about other people in bedroom, be it threesome male or female or something else. Right now she says she's ok with another girl but her staying clothed and just bj and them kissing. It's unrelated to hotwifing but just putting it here as example of her thinking. As for more, she says she can imagine threesome with someone else, if we were not together. But if it somehow happened while we were together she could never look at me the same, would feel like she betrayed me, cheated on me. To her it's unimaginable and she says she will never do it. Can't separate it from those feelings and can't connect how it's just sex, those feelings I have etc to her it's just unimaginable. Also she'd feel like she wasn't enough, or our sex life, why are we in relationship etc.

I see some common themes here and with other people and would like besides time, and encouragement (but not pushing) is there anything else I should be doing?

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Dutch
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Dutch » Tue Jun 12, 2018 12:46 pm

The wife had attachment issues with her last lover, so she broke it off with him. Now she is afraid to be involved with any one else. I have praised her for her love and devotion to me and how proud I am of her.

Have any other hotwives had attachment issues, and if so, how did they deal with it?

2inUPMichigan
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Wed Jul 25, 2018 8:44 pm

Ratko wrote:So my gf and I were talking about other people in bedroom, be it threesome male or female or something else. Right now she says she's ok with another girl but her staying clothed and just bj and them kissing. It's unrelated to hotwifing but just putting it here as example of her thinking. As for more, she says she can imagine threesome with someone else, if we were not together. But if it somehow happened while we were together she could never look at me the same, would feel like she betrayed me, cheated on me. To her it's unimaginable and she says she will never do it. Can't separate it from those feelings and can't connect how it's just sex, those feelings I have etc to her it's just unimaginable. Also she'd feel like she wasn't enough, or our sex life, why are we in relationship etc.

I see some common themes here and with other people and would like besides time, and encouragement (but not pushing) is there anything else I should be doing?
Wow, her words could have come out of my mouth six months ago, seriously! I never thought I would ever be thinking about having sex with anyone other than my husband. Since we have been married 20 years I was equating sex with love and looked at sex with anyone else as the ultimate betrayal of that love. "I would never cheat on you." That was one of the phrases I frequently said to my husband.
It was a gradual change for me and the realization after complete honesty from him (of why it turned him on) during a nonsexual moment that lead to my decision to pursue being a hotwife.
Make sure she feels secure in your relationship, and that she is enough for you. If it is meant to happen, it will happen when she is secure and comfortable and not before that time. (Right now she sounds like she needs more time)

Cuckoldme
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Cuckoldme » Thu Jul 26, 2018 6:53 am

Hi Hotwife Brain Trust! :-)

I’ve tried to look through the 30 pages, or so, to find an answer to my question, but with so many posts I likely overlooked it if it’s there.
So my lovey wife is on the verge of taking the plunge this weekend. We’ve been talking about this for over a year but only the last 4 or 5 months she’s gotten to the point of actually being able to do it.
We THINK we have a good candidate lined up for her first experience and all the pieces seem to be falling into place, BUT She seems very nervous. Some of the nerves are just her nature but she’s hardly discussed it the last two days and I’m concerned she’s considering canceling. So I’m looking for some words, or wisdom, I can share with her to help her relax and understand we are moving forward together
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks!

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bbnsnuffynj
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by bbnsnuffynj » Sun Jul 29, 2018 1:28 pm

So my mrs and I have talked and fantasized about having someone watch us and maybe join us.
She loves the idea of having another cock to play with.
We have talked on Kik with a few guys but nothing is panning out thus far.
She has shown interest in trying to set something up with a friend's ex husband who she is attracted to and thinks could be fun but this is a huge leap since they don't talk all that much and some prep work will need to be done.
We had an ad on SLS but they changed up their policy for free members so that kinda sucks.
My question is, where is a good place to meet prospective guys to meet with? We could use some advice.
Thanks!!!

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bbnsnuffynj
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by bbnsnuffynj » Thu Aug 09, 2018 11:02 pm

wrote:
bbnsnuffynj wrote:So my mrs and I have talked and fantasized about having someone watch us and maybe join us.
She loves the idea of having another cock to play with.
We have talked on Kik with a few guys but nothing is panning out thus far.
She has shown interest in trying to set something up with a friend's ex husband who she is attracted to and thinks could be fun but this is a huge leap since they don't talk all that much and some prep work will need to be done.
We had an ad on SLS but they changed up their policy for free members so that kinda sucks.
My question is, where is a good place to meet prospective guys to meet with? We could use some advice.
Thanks!!!
I am just starting back up after a long pause and have had luck on Fling.com. I have 2 guys I'm seriously chatting with. I was upset about SLS myself as I've used that for 15 years. and had luck.
Cool- thanks. We will have to check it out.

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by The Bartender » Sat Aug 18, 2018 12:31 pm

Hello all,

I originally asked this question in a different unique thread but I meant to ask it here for the wives to notice... So here it is...

My wife wants to go sleep with some guys because she wants to relive her college days of feeling dirty and slutty. She wants to enjoy the pursuit of picking guys and getting them into bed. She is matching up and flirting with guys on Tinder with the guys aware she wants a NSA encounter and she is married and her husband knows. She loves me too much and said she feels too safe with me to get that sense of being dirty. The pursuit and conquest is also a big part for her and she wants to feel other men want her like I do. She offered me the opportunity to go and find myself some fuck buddies too but I am actually not interested. She is the only thing I want. But I understand her wants. She also likes I am aroused by it. This will be us in it together and I plan to see pics and hear of encounters.

we agreed to these terms...

She can have 4 encounters.
No guy more than 2 times
She has to be done with it in about 6 weeks or so.
Then we have to shut it down.

Can any Hotwifes give me their feelings on this. Do you feel its better to do it for awhile and have to stop or to never do it? 
How do you think she will feel when it has too stop (your personal opinion is wanted even though you cannot predict how my wife will feel)

I know and trust she will stop because I had second thoughts initially and she hit the brakes quick. She is happy I have willingly agreed to this and I was helpful in her discovering it. She thinks that is enough for her to get it out of her system. She firmly said she would stop at the designated time and not ask for more. 
We are capable of a good sex life and I can satisfy her in bed. We have lulls and less interest sometimes but after 20 years of marriage we are rekindling sparks in new ways. Our marriage is in a great place and we are together forever. We try new things and keep it fresh the best we can raising 3 younger kids. Also... she was not a virgin when we met... she had plenty of sex with other guys until we were married.
I do understand we both might like it and we may want to continue... But for the sake of my question please assume this will be it forever.
I am too emotional about it and get rather OCD thinking about it so I don't function properly knowing it could happen. My brain needs to relax about it for a long time once it has happened.

Any insight is greatly appreciated.

Thank you all!,

The Bartender
Last edited by The Bartender on Sat Aug 18, 2018 7:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

2inUPMichigan
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sat Aug 18, 2018 5:28 pm

The Bartender wrote:Hello all,

I originally asked this question in a different unique thread but I meant to ask it here for the wives to notice... So here it is...

My wife wants to go sleep with some guys because she wants to relive her college days of feeling dirty and slutty. She wants to enjoy the pursuit of picking guys and getting them into bed. She is matching up and flirting with guys on Tinder with the guys aware she wants a NSA encounter and she is married and her husband knows. She also wants to overcome some insecurity issues she had when younger. She feels this will help. She loves me too much and said she feels too safe with me to get that sense of being dirty. This is really just sex for her. She offered me the opportunity to go and find myself some fuck buddies too but I am actually not interested. She is the only thing I want. But I understand her wants. She also likes I am aroused by it. This will be us in it together and I plan to see pics and hear of encounters.

we agreed to these terms...

She can have 4 encounters.
No guy more than 2 times
She has to be done with it in about 6 weeks or so.
Then we have to shut it down.

Can any Hotwifes give me their feelings on this. Do you feel its better to do it for awhile and have to stop or to never do it? 
How do you think she will feel when it has too stop (your personal opinion is wanted even though you cannot predict how my wife will feel)

I know and trust she will stop because I had second thoughts initially and she hit the brakes quick. She is happy I have willingly agreed to this and I was helpful in her discovering it. She thinks that is enough for her to get it out of her system. She firmly said she would stop at the designated time and not ask for more. 
We are capable of a good sex life and I can satisfy her in bed. We have lulls and less interest sometimes but after 18 years of marriage we are rekindling sparks in new ways. Our marriage is in a great place and we are together forever. We try new things and keep it fresh the best we can raising 3 younger kids. Also... she was not a virgin when we met... she had plenty of sex with other guys until we were married.
I do understand we both might like it and we may want to continue... But for the sake of my question please assume this will be it forever.
I am too emotional about it and get rather OCD thinking about it so I don't function properly knowing it could happen. My brain needs to relax about it for a long time once it has happened.

Any insight is greatly appreciated.

Thank you all!,

The Bartender
Got your message Bartender :) I will do my best. Keep in mind I am a hotwife with training wheels on LOL
Many of the women talk about how they could stop if they were asked and others say that there is a point where they would no longer want to stop mainly because of all the benefits to their relationship.

I completely get that whole not being able to feel that complete sense of "dirty" with your spouse. Sometimes it is not easy to get into that mind set with the one that you live with day to day.

How does your wife think that having sex with other men for a short time will help with her insecurities? Will those insecurities resurface when she stops? That I part I am not understanding. Is it that she wants to see that other men besides her husband (who she thinks has to find her attractive) think she is hot? After she stops how will she feed those insecurities? This is something that you will want to talk through with her as this is at the foundation of why you are pursuing this journey.

Again how she feels when she stops depends on the quality of the experience and whether or not both of your needs were met.

My own path and reasons are very different so I may have only raised more questions - I hope that my response was helpful.

14U2nv
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by 14U2nv » Sat Aug 18, 2018 6:27 pm

Ok, here's one for the ladies...

My wife has agreed a couple weeks ago to go to a local (about an hour away) swingers club at the end of September. It's "hotwife" night when select single men who have been screened by the club are allowed to enter the club. Women are given a specific colored bracelet that glows if they choose to allow single men to approach them.

I told my wife that there are absolutely NO expectations, and I only want her to go if she does so because SHE wants to.

Last night I brought the subject up and asked her what her number one concern was about the lifestyle. She said that she doesn't understand my desire to share her when most men look at their role as a husband as the protector, and would never consider sharing their wives.

Now, I know how I feel, and I tried to explain it to her as best I could, but I fear I fell short. I'm not the greatest at speaking "womans language" lol... I told her that what i'm proposing is absolutely no indicator that I feel in a negative way about her. I DO have the desire to protect her, which is why I insist on being present and participating (she has no desire to play alone). My desire is based on my arousal when SHE is being pleased.

I asked her "Do you remember when we bought your new car 7 years ago? You LOVED that car, right? But after about 3 years of driving it you started looking for ANOTHER new car. Well, we just bought you another new car a couple weeks ago, and I see the twinkle in your eye when you climb in it if we're going somewhere... We've been married for 17 years, and I want to see that excitement in your eye again when you're with someone new. "

Any ideas for me on how to explain this to her so that she understands? I'm not trying to talk her into anything, I just want her to understand how I feel.

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hoosierhotwifeboots
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by hoosierhotwifeboots » Sat Aug 18, 2018 6:46 pm

No disrespect here-

It is probably not the best idea to compare your wife sleeping or playing sexually with another man to that of a new car.
That being said...I would suggest you explain to her that you are looking for another level of trust, connection, and protection. It is possible to develop NRE (new romance energy) with this lifestyle. The fact that you are both open to discussing all things related to going to the club, and playing are a great start.

For me-I enjoy the feeling of power and being desired by other men. It is just a "win win" that my husband is in this lifestyle.
Maybe you could share the emotions you would feel watching her in her pure and mighty sexual energy, and that you will be with her on the journey (no matter what or how that looks like as a couple), protecting her and loving her.

Keep sharing and communicating. :) and if you go to the club, no pressure! :) If nothing else, you'll have a great story to share when you're old. After all, life is about memories.

-All the best

14U2nv
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by 14U2nv » Sat Aug 18, 2018 6:56 pm

hoosierhotwifeboots wrote:No disrespect here-

It is probably not the best idea to compare your wife sleeping or playing sexually with another man to that of a new car.
That being said...I would suggest you explain to her that you are looking for another level of trust, connection, and protection. It is possible to develop NRE (new romance energy) with this lifestyle. The fact that you are both open to discussing all things related to going to the club, and playing are a great start.

For me-I enjoy the feeling of power and being desired by other men. It is just a "win win" that my husband is in this lifestyle.
Maybe you could share the emotions you would feel watching her in her pure and mighty sexual energy, and that you will be with her on the journey (no matter what or how that looks like as a couple), protecting her and loving her.

Keep sharing and communicating. :) and if you go to the club, no pressure! :) If nothing else, you'll have a great story to share when you're old. After all, life is about memories.

-All the best
No disrespect taken lol... as I said, i'm not the best at communicating in a way that a woman understands.

The Bartender
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by The Bartender » Sat Aug 18, 2018 7:44 pm

2inUPMichigan wrote:
The Bartender wrote:Hello all,

I originally asked this question in a different unique thread but I meant to ask it here for the wives to notice... So here it is...

My wife wants to go sleep with some guys because she wants to relive her college days of feeling dirty and slutty. She wants to enjoy the pursuit of picking guys and getting them into bed. She is matching up and flirting with guys on Tinder with the guys aware she wants a NSA encounter and she is married and her husband knows. She also wants to overcome some insecurity issues she had when younger. She feels this will help. She loves me too much and said she feels too safe with me to get that sense of being dirty. This is really just sex for her. She offered me the opportunity to go and find myself some fuck buddies too but I am actually not interested. She is the only thing I want. But I understand her wants. She also likes I am aroused by it. This will be us in it together and I plan to see pics and hear of encounters.

we agreed to these terms...

She can have 4 encounters.
No guy more than 2 times
She has to be done with it in about 6 weeks or so.
Then we have to shut it down.

Can any Hotwifes give me their feelings on this. Do you feel its better to do it for awhile and have to stop or to never do it? 
How do you think she will feel when it has too stop (your personal opinion is wanted even though you cannot predict how my wife will feel)

I know and trust she will stop because I had second thoughts initially and she hit the brakes quick. She is happy I have willingly agreed to this and I was helpful in her discovering it. She thinks that is enough for her to get it out of her system. She firmly said she would stop at the designated time and not ask for more. 
We are capable of a good sex life and I can satisfy her in bed. We have lulls and less interest sometimes but after 18 years of marriage we are rekindling sparks in new ways. Our marriage is in a great place and we are together forever. We try new things and keep it fresh the best we can raising 3 younger kids. Also... she was not a virgin when we met... she had plenty of sex with other guys until we were married.
I do understand we both might like it and we may want to continue... But for the sake of my question please assume this will be it forever.
I am too emotional about it and get rather OCD thinking about it so I don't function properly knowing it could happen. My brain needs to relax about it for a long time once it has happened.

Any insight is greatly appreciated.

Thank you all!,

The Bartender
Got your message Bartender :) I will do my best. Keep in mind I am a hotwife with training wheels on LOL
Many of the women talk about how they could stop if they were asked and others say that there is a point where they would no longer want to stop mainly because of all the benefits to their relationship.

I completely get that whole not being able to feel that complete sense of "dirty" with your spouse. Sometimes it is not easy to get into that mind set with the one that you live with day to day.

How does your wife think that having sex with other men for a short time will help with her insecurities? Will those insecurities resurface when she stops? That I part I am not understanding. Is it that she wants to see that other men besides her husband (who she thinks has to find her attractive) think she is hot? After she stops how will she feed those insecurities? This is something that you will want to talk through with her as this is at the foundation of why you are pursuing this journey.

Again how she feels when she stops depends on the quality of the experience and whether or not both of your needs were met.

My own path and reasons are very different so I may have only raised more questions - I hope that my response was helpful.

Thank you for the thoughtful reply! Much appreciated by both myself and Mrs Bartender!
My wife and I read it together and talked about it. It turns out I had misunderstood her regarding insecurities. She doesn't have any insecurity issues and never really did.
I had misinterpreted something in an email we had exchanged.
She was impressed you picked up on that part and focused on it and perhaps sensed a little trouble down that road in our particular situation.
I thank you for helping us discover this misunderstanding. I actually edited my original post and took out the insecurity issue.
She said that "the chase is empowering. Going after something and getting what I want is a huge deal for me".
Honestly that makes me think she is going to be happy with the results after the 4 encounters we agreed upon. I can see where doing this for insecurities is a whole different mindset.
it made me even more at ease and happy with the direction we are going.

Thanks again!
The Bartender

2inUPMichigan
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sat Aug 18, 2018 8:44 pm

The Bartender wrote:
2inUPMichigan wrote:
The Bartender wrote:Hello all,

I originally asked this question in a different unique thread but I meant to ask it here for the wives to notice... So here it is...

My wife wants to go sleep with some guys because she wants to relive her college days of feeling dirty and slutty. She wants to enjoy the pursuit of picking guys and getting them into bed. She is matching up and flirting with guys on Tinder with the guys aware she wants a NSA encounter and she is married and her husband knows. She also wants to overcome some insecurity issues she had when younger. She feels this will help. She loves me too much and said she feels too safe with me to get that sense of being dirty. This is really just sex for her. She offered me the opportunity to go and find myself some fuck buddies too but I am actually not interested. She is the only thing I want. But I understand her wants. She also likes I am aroused by it. This will be us in it together and I plan to see pics and hear of encounters.

we agreed to these terms...

She can have 4 encounters.
No guy more than 2 times
She has to be done with it in about 6 weeks or so.
Then we have to shut it down.

Can any Hotwifes give me their feelings on this. Do you feel its better to do it for awhile and have to stop or to never do it? 
How do you think she will feel when it has too stop (your personal opinion is wanted even though you cannot predict how my wife will feel)

I know and trust she will stop because I had second thoughts initially and she hit the brakes quick. She is happy I have willingly agreed to this and I was helpful in her discovering it. She thinks that is enough for her to get it out of her system. She firmly said she would stop at the designated time and not ask for more. 
We are capable of a good sex life and I can satisfy her in bed. We have lulls and less interest sometimes but after 18 years of marriage we are rekindling sparks in new ways. Our marriage is in a great place and we are together forever. We try new things and keep it fresh the best we can raising 3 younger kids. Also... she was not a virgin when we met... she had plenty of sex with other guys until we were married.
I do understand we both might like it and we may want to continue... But for the sake of my question please assume this will be it forever.
I am too emotional about it and get rather OCD thinking about it so I don't function properly knowing it could happen. My brain needs to relax about it for a long time once it has happened.

Any insight is greatly appreciated.

Thank you all!,

The Bartender
Got your message Bartender :) I will do my best. Keep in mind I am a hotwife with training wheels on LOL
Many of the women talk about how they could stop if they were asked and others say that there is a point where they would no longer want to stop mainly because of all the benefits to their relationship.

I completely get that whole not being able to feel that complete sense of "dirty" with your spouse. Sometimes it is not easy to get into that mind set with the one that you live with day to day.

How does your wife think that having sex with other men for a short time will help with her insecurities? Will those insecurities resurface when she stops? That I part I am not understanding. Is it that she wants to see that other men besides her husband (who she thinks has to find her attractive) think she is hot? After she stops how will she feed those insecurities? This is something that you will want to talk through with her as this is at the foundation of why you are pursuing this journey.

Again how she feels when she stops depends on the quality of the experience and whether or not both of your needs were met.

My own path and reasons are very different so I may have only raised more questions - I hope that my response was helpful.

Thank you for the thoughtful reply! Much appreciated by both myself and Mrs Bartender!
My wife and I read it together and talked about it. It turns out I had misunderstood her regarding insecurities. She doesn't have any insecurity issues and never really did.
I had misinterpreted something in an email we had exchanged.
She was impressed you picked up on that part and focused on it and perhaps sensed a little trouble down that road in our particular situation.
I thank you for helping us discover this misunderstanding. I actually edited my original post and took out the insecurity issue.
She said that "the chase is empowering. Going after something and getting what I want is a huge deal for me".
Honestly that makes me think she is going to be happy with the results after the 4 encounters we agreed upon. I can see where doing this for insecurities is a whole different mindset.
it made me even more at ease and happy with the direction we are going.

Thanks again!
The Bartender
I am so glad that this lead to more clarification for both if you as you travel this path together. Communication is the key to this as you have discovered. Keep those lines open and have fun! It sounds like you are both feeling better about your decision which is great.

Dacius
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Dacius » Sat Aug 18, 2018 9:06 pm

Do you think that a man *becomes a cuckold* when something happens inside of him, or when something happens inside of his wife?

This "fantasy" that is more than a fantasy has been a large part of my sexual psychology throughout my adult life, and yet my wife is not someone who intends ever to have sex with another. And I expect she never will until I am dead. I still feel that "cuckold" is what I am, really.

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Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Jerzeycuckhub » Mon Aug 20, 2018 6:53 am

I have a question for the Hotwives out there. My wife is very attractive and 99% of the men we encounter are eager to take her to bed, many of whom she rejects. However, she had a vanilla dinner date on Saturday night with a nice, handsome gentleman. When she returned home, she confided that she would have fucked him, but he sent her a message saying he didn't think there was a "spark" between them in order to take things further. So my basic question is, How much of a hit is there to a Hotwife's ego when she is the one who is turned down? And how does it effect them moving forward?

509QueenB
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by 509QueenB » Tue Aug 21, 2018 5:24 pm

My hubby has been talking to me about this for years!! At first was not interested at all. Over time, I’ve become more open to it and now I’m very ready to jump in but I have NO IDEA how to go about it. I want to keep hubby excited so it’s fun for him but I don’t know what to do with him!

2inUPMichigan
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Tue Aug 21, 2018 7:07 pm

509QueenB wrote:My hubby has been talking to me about this for years!! At first was not interested at all. Over time, I’ve become more open to it and now I’m very ready to jump in but I have NO IDEA how to go about it. I want to keep hubby excited so it’s fun for him but I don’t know what to do with him!
:D :D Sounds like you are excited, I know the feeling!
Okay my first suggestion is to communicate like crazy between the two of you about how you see this happening. Everyone seems to view this a little bit different so as a couple you will need to figure out what will work best for the two of you.
Will you be together or separate during play? Do you both have input into the men?
What does your husband see as his role in all this?

We are still newbies and taking baby steps. If you don't already have a couple profile over at SLS I would recommend it as a way to start finding potential men - Good luck!

Make sure to get verified as a hotwife so you can join us in the ladies only section :)

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coastalkid
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by coastalkid » Tue Aug 21, 2018 7:21 pm

What goes on in the VHW section? Are there many of you there? 2inUPMichigan, you are relatively new to the VHW section is it very supportive. I understand and respect the need for wives to have a place of their own. I guess I'm curious as to the "health" of the VHW community. If I learn anything here, the best lessons will always come from what I know the least about, and that is what a woman thinks! Mysterious, just like the VHW section!
Hope is not a strategy but it's still good to have! Especially if you don't have a strategy!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!

2inUPMichigan
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Wed Aug 22, 2018 5:58 am

coastalkid wrote:What goes on in the VHW section? Are there many of you there? 2inUPMichigan, you are relatively new to the VHW section is it very supportive. I understand and respect the need for wives to have a place of their own. I guess I'm curious as to the "health" of the VHW community. If I learn anything here, the best lessons will always come from what I know the least about, and that is what a woman thinks! Mysterious, just like the VHW section!
Coastalkid - it's good old fashioned "girl talk". There are some questions women would only feel comfortable asking another woman, some issues only another woman experiencing them will understand. Some of us might not know another woman IRL living this so having someone who understands is invaluable. But that's all I can say ;)

GaryY
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by GaryY » Mon Sep 10, 2018 8:37 am

I question for you lovely ladies. My wife has a desire to be with a gentleman who is well endowed at least once while she can still appreciate it (her words). I can understand and try to support her, but is it wrong for me to not want to watch or hear any of the intimate details? My only desire (if she finds the one she wants) is to have her call me when she arrives, if she will not be home until the next day and when she departs. These are of course so I do not spend the entire day/night worrying about her safety.
Upon her return, the only things I would be interested in is if she had a good time, if her lover was all she hoped for and whether or not her desire was satisfied.
Does this sound less than supportive or uncaring? I would really appreciate your input. I would love to have her experience that "earth moving" orgasm, that I obviously have not been able to supply her these past 17 years. :???:

Mhwandi
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Mhwandi » Tue Sep 18, 2018 10:07 am

I posted this in it’s own topic, but it might be better placed here to get the input from Verified Hotwives. I appreciate all thoughts, advice and questions.

New to the Board and wanted to share a brief background and get advice.

My wife and I have been married over 35 years and have a strong and loving relationship. For a period of about 8 years from the mid 90s until the early 2000s we did some soft swinging at my suggestion just to spice things up. She was very reluctant but eventually agreed to try it. So we stuck our toes in the water and went to some parties and met with a few couples. She was ok with with watching and being watched while engaging in sex without swapping partners. The only swapping that took place was swapping for massage. These massages were sensual and included giving and receiving orgasm manually. That was the boundary my wife was comfortable at and that is as far as it went with other couples. I really enjoyed watching my wife both give and receive a sensual massage with that other husbands. When we were on vacation once she got a couple massages from masseur at the resort where he gave head during her first session and she jerked him off in return. It was in our room and I assisted with the massage during the first session. During her second session I sat out on the deck while she got her massage and this time they fucked at the end of the massage and he had a condom on. She told me right after and I got an instant boner. She said it just happened and didn’t want to do that again.

That was her last sensual episode with another man and that was over ten years ago. I told her that my biggest fantasy is her being with another man or men. Like many wives, I think she thought I was saying that so she would grant me permission to explore with other women. But that is not what I am after in this. Anyway, after a long layoff in talking about this or pursuing this with her, I am back to wanting to give this a try. When we have sex lately we have been role playing that she is being taken by another man and that I am watching or she is away on a business trip and is telling me about it when she returns. I recently got a very nice more lifelike dildo which she has enjoyed while sucking my cock. Her orgasms and pleasure doing this are quite evident.

So it seems she enjoys the fantasy, but there is a big difference in liking the thought versus doing the deed. The question is, what are the chances of making this happen? Any thoughts, comments or suggestions are appreciated. One last thing, she never enjoyed the setups we had with other couples. She has always expressed the need for a more organic experience.

Thanks for reading.

UTHotWife

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by UTHotWife » Wed Sep 19, 2018 12:04 pm

GaryY wrote:I question for you lovely ladies. My wife has a desire to be with a gentleman who is well endowed at least once while she can still appreciate it (her words). I can understand and try to support her, but is it wrong for me to not want to watch or hear any of the intimate details? My only desire (if she finds the one she wants) is to have her call me when she arrives, if she will not be home until the next day and when she departs. These are of course so I do not spend the entire day/night worrying about her safety.
Upon her return, the only things I would be interested in is if she had a good time, if her lover was all she hoped for and whether or not her desire was satisfied.
Does this sound less than supportive or uncaring? I would really appreciate your input. I would love to have her experience that "earth moving" orgasm, that I obviously have not been able to supply her these past 17 years. :???:
Hello, I am only a few months into the lifestyle but can explain from our experience. If we don't know the guy well, and its a first time, we have agreed that I will text him when I get there then after a couple hours to let him know I am ok, so he doesn't worry. I normally send him another text when I leave to head home so he knows when to expect me. If it's a friend we know or I have had before I dont text or call, unless it is to send a couple pics of the action.

I always give full details afterword, but that's for fun :whip:

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Luv2watchher
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Luv2watchher » Fri Sep 21, 2018 4:23 pm

My question is rather technical, but I am hoping one or two of you Hotwives can put my give me the information I am looking for.
We have just selected my wife’s boyfriend number eleven (in her six-year hotwifing career).

My wife and I are both white and the new bf is African-American. I was born in Europe and take the view that race is merely a social construct. I also don’t believe that the males of any one race are, on average, more generously endowed than other. That said, I have seen a photo of the new bf (with his manhood in flaccid state) and he is very long. I consider myself to be at least average, and he has got a three-inch advantage on me.

Is this going to pose any problem for my petite wife? In terms of penis in vagina, surely it can’t all go in? Will the outcome be pain or pleasure?

lovebug
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread

Unread post by lovebug » Mon Sep 24, 2018 4:08 pm

Future_Hot_Wife wrote:1. What was the final thought that made you say "Yes, I'll do it"?
2. Did you have any reservations after the first time?

1. That my husband deserved what he got, if he wanted me to fuck someone else then he would have to deal with what Happened. To be honest, until the last minute I didn’t think I would actually do it.
2. Yes, a lot of reservations. I think most of us do, you can’t undo it. And I don’t think until you have done it , you understand all the ramifications.

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