Our Hotwives

jc6morw wrote:Would you, as a hotwife, be annoyed by flirtatious advances from a man if you knew he was a cuckold-like submissive who enjoys rejection, humiliation, (and anything you can dish out) and doesn't really expect any success? Or would you not mind since he's harmless? Or would you enjoy teasing and toying with him? Or would you consider it harrassment?

It's harassment if he doesn't stop if I say I'm not interested. How is she reacting to those comments?

It's okay to have your fetish... It's not okay to involve someone non consensually. If she's into it, have at it. If not, keep it to yourself.

Mate, I don't know you from Adam but you and your wife has some serious issues to resolve. You don't trust her and that's not a good thing. And there is a world of difference between throwing your phone at someone and looking at a phone without the other party knowing

There is only ever one reason why someone would delete one side of a conversation. Though it is strange she would leave any trace at all

I love that you are on here and willing to answer questions!

I was wondering, do you think most women would love to have the freedom in their relationship or marriage to fuck other guys or girls as long as they knew their S.O. was turned on by it and it didn't affect their relationship together in a negative way?

In other words do you think most women, deep down, get turned on by the thought of fucking someone else? Just that in most relationships they can't outwardly express that fantasy.

Thanks!

eldiablo311 wrote:I love that you are on here and willing to answer questions!

I was wondering, do you think most women would love to have the freedom in their relationship or marriage to fuck other guys or girls as long as they knew their S.O. was turned on by it and it didn't affect their relationship together in a negative way?

In other words do you think most women, deep down, get turned on by the thought of fucking someone else? Just that in most relationships they can't outwardly express that fantasy.

Thanks!

Nope. I think everyone is different and wants different things. My husband often says that people who are more open sexually look down on those who aren't, and you can see that reflected in some posts here. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a monogamous relationship with only vanilla sex, and it's not simply repression that causes it. People like different things and that's okay.

SSQ wrote:

eldiablo311 wrote:I love that you are on here and willing to answer questions!

I was wondering, do you think most women would love to have the freedom in their relationship or marriage to fuck other guys or girls as long as they knew their S.O. was turned on by it and it didn't affect their relationship together in a negative way?

In other words do you think most women, deep down, get turned on by the thought of fucking someone else? Just that in most relationships they can't outwardly express that fantasy.

Thanks!

Nope. I think everyone is different and wants different things. My husband often says that people who are more open sexually look down on those who aren't, and you can see that reflected in some posts here. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a monogamous relationship with only vanilla sex, and it's not simply repression that causes it. People like different things and that's okay.

I agree everyone is different, I just have a theory that it goes against human nature to be only with one person your whole life. I am not saying that is an excuse to go out and cheat and be an asshole, or that even though people check out other people or once in awhile wonder what it would be like to fuck someone else that they should act on it. I am just saying I believe most people, man or woman, at the very least check out other people even if they are in a solid, happy relationship or marriage. It is just natural to look and want sometimes.

Given that hypothesis, I would assume that most people, man or woman, would be pretty excited to know they had the sexual freedom from their S.O. to fuck other people on occasion.

Jersey Mike wrote:

FNQLivin wrote:Mate, I don't know you from Adam but you and your wife has some serious issues to resolve. You don't trust her and that's not a good thing. And there is a world of difference between throwing your phone at someone and looking at a phone without the other party knowing

I didn't do it behind her back, we allow each other to. I just noticed the deleted messages and wasn't sure if I should bring it up. I'm not mad at her for anything, and there wasn't any deceitfulness going on, but I stumbled upon it. I'm curious as to why stuff was deleted, and didn't know if I should ask her or let it go.

I would confront her on the issue of deleting texts. What is she hiding? You have to get down to the truth like peeling an onion. It may be she likes to explore these conversations but is still protecting you from what she sees as cheating. Keep trying to get her to open up on why she is deleting the texts.

eldiablo311 wrote:Given that hypothesis, I would assume that most people, man or woman, would be pretty excited to know they had the sexual freedom from their S.O. to fuck other people on occasion.

Personally, I think that would be more in the Men desiring this then women. Cause honestly, as much as I enjoy this, it can be Very tiresome and sometimes I wonder if it is worth the effort. Most women, Yes there are exceptions, are not into the random meaningless sex. Men cheat because they want excitement, women cheat because they want the connection.

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Jersey Mike wrote:My question is this - In the beginning, I'm sure there must of been a bundle of nerves you had to go through, and because of this, was it actually harder for you the first time, or first couple of times, if hubby was there watching? I'm sure part of it was feeling safe, but any awkwardness with the guy you love watching as you go through all these feelings of nervousness, anxiety, etc.?

My very first time was solo with a guy we both trusted because I wanted to do it on my own. I wanted to "own it" per se. If I didn't like it, I would have no one to blame but me. I didn't want the pressure of doing it because my very excited husband was in the room, I wanted to do it because I Wanted to. After that, it was a bit nerve wracking because you don't know what is expected of you as the wife. Suddenly you have to keep 2 men happy. I am Very thankful that our 1st 2 guys were "pros" at mfm, so that helped a lot. Once my husband and I learned our own rhythm and desires and expectations, it actually became much easier for me to "get in the mood" because I knew my husband had my back so to speak as well as turned on and excited.

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Jersey Mike wrote:Yeah, I thought it was odd too, that's why I wasn't sure to bring it up with her. I'm not mad at her, I just want to talk everything out. Wasn't sure whether I should pursue what happened, or leave it alone.

I think considering How many times you have said this TALK TO HER!! If you don't, it will fester. Find out so that your mind will stop imaging all that could happen. Personally, I think it would be Very odd to delete only my responses yet leave the questions. If I was hiding something, the Whole Damn thing would be gone.

I'm a single male, and relatively new to the lifestyle. I have had a wonderful series of dates with an incredible hotwife, and I've asked her this, but thought that I would open it up as well to the group as a whole to gain an even broader perspective, thinking that there's no single answer to this question.

As a hotwife, what's the most important thing I should know as a single male entering this lifestyle?

Thanks in advance!

justaguy wrote:I'm a single male, and relatively new to the lifestyle. I have had a wonderful series of dates with an incredible hotwife, and I've asked her this, but thought that I would open it up as well to the group as a whole to gain an even broader perspective, thinking that there's no single answer to this question.

As a hotwife, what's the most important thing I should know as a single male entering this lifestyle?

Thanks in advance!

Have fun, treat her with respect, and respect her commitment to her husband. Be reliable, make her feel flattered, and let her take the lead in terms of depth of relationship.

And fuck her brains out!

SSQ wrote:

justaguy wrote:I'm a single male, and relatively new to the lifestyle. I have had a wonderful series of dates with an incredible hotwife, and I've asked her this, but thought that I would open it up as well to the group as a whole to gain an even broader perspective, thinking that there's no single answer to this question.

As a hotwife, what's the most important thing I should know as a single male entering this lifestyle?

Thanks in advance!

Have fun, treat her with respect, and respect her commitment to her husband. Be reliable, make her feel flattered, and let her take the lead in terms of depth of relationship.

And fuck her brains out!

Love it - sounds pretty basic to me! Thanks ever so much, SSQ

noreenandnaz wrote:know that you're entering into the middle of a complex relationship full of quirks and pre existing understandings between a husband and wife. whilst you've been invited into their relationship, know that for her, he's number one. and for him, she's also number one. even when it seems like he's handing over his wife to you, really it's not like that at all, he's not giving something to you, he's giving something to his wife and she's giving something to him in return. what that is is very personal and private to them and you may never get the chance to understand all the complex things they communicate to each other in those extended glances they share with each other.

that's how it is for us.

Wow, this is very powerful stuff. Thanks for sharing it and putting it so perfectly. You capture something that I find incredibly sexy about being with a couple.

The only thing that would make your statement more powerful would be you finally getting verified as a hotwife. It's a simple thing, just a plain vanilla photo that is not compromising at all, but it assures the rest of us that you are actually a female. I always feel that women who have not been verified have strangely husky voices. But that's just me.

Be that as it may, I have saved your comment in my words of wisdom repository. It is something boyfriends have to remember, respect, and hopefully find sexy.

We talk a lot about sharing/threesomes only during sex. Never after or before (in normal hours), not sure if she's into it or just playing it for the moment. I am also not sure to ask her, coz i'm scared she'll be angry or disappointed. How do I approach, not that I want to share but it's good to know, right?

noreenandnaz wrote:

justaguy wrote:I'm a single male, and relatively new to the lifestyle. I have had a wonderful series of dates with an incredible hotwife, and I've asked her this, but thought that I would open it up as well to the group as a whole to gain an even broader perspective, thinking that there's no single answer to this question.

As a hotwife, what's the most important thing I should know as a single male entering this lifestyle?

Thanks in advance!

know that you're entering into the middle of a complex relationship full of quirks and pre existing understandings between a husband and wife. whilst you've been invited into their relationship, know that for her, he's number one. and for him, she's also number one. even when it seems like he's handing over his wife to you, really it's not like that at all, he's not giving something to you, he's giving something to his wife and she's giving something to him in return. what that is is very personal and private to them and you may never get the chance to understand all the complex things they communicate to each other in those extended glances they share with each other.

that's how it is for us.

I love this perspective! Thanks so much for sharing, noreenandnaz.

Buttercream wrote: Also, realize that every Hotwife relationship will be vastly different. As the dynamic in the marriages are different. The needs & desires are different. But always be your respectful self & you'll be fine.
And often times, you may be rejected but you can't take it personal. There could be many reasons & some may not even have anything to do with you really. So keeping a positive outlook is important.

Excellent point, Buttercream, about each relationship being different. I would think that might be an easy one to overlook sometimes. Thanks for the insight!

bufaker wrote:We talk a lot about sharing/threesomes only during sex. Never after or before (in normal hours), not sure if she's into it or just playing it for the moment. I am also not sure to ask her, coz i'm scared she'll be angry or disappointed. How do I approach, not that I want to share but it's good to know, right?

If you don't want to then it's a hypothetical question and you'll get a hypothetical answer! What I mean is I guess you never know if she really would until she does.

If I was you I'd bring it up the next morning, tell her how great it was, how much you enjoyed the fantasy and how much it turned you on. Ask her if she still feels the same? And then take it from there.

It's kind of how I got into it.

Kx

I have a very simple question. Do orgasms = good sex? After my wife has had sex with the guy, I always ask her to rate him. I've witnessed guys that gave her orgasm after orgasm & she give them an "ok" or "not that good" rating. WTF? We have almost got into a few spats (nothing serious) about this. Are my eyes lying to me? True to her word she never gives those guys a second date. She says it's all about chemistry and and making a connection. Her past favorite FB would sometimes NOT give her an orgasm. She rated him pretty high because of the connection not the orgasms. My wife is multi-orgasmic. So I've seen her have intense, sweaty, animalistic like sex and not want to be with that guy again. As a sometime BBC bull I think I'm doing a great job when I make a lady have a few orgasms. Now after talking to my wife I'm having second thoughts. So do orgasms = great sex to you ladies?

bltn1966 wrote:I have a very simple question. Do orgasms = good sex? After my wife has had sex with the guy, I always ask her to rate him. I've witnessed guys that gave her orgasm after orgasm & she give them an "ok" or "not that good" rating. WTF? We have almost got into a few spats (nothing serious) about this. Are my eyes lying to me? True to her word she never gives those guys a second date. She says it's all about chemistry and and making a connection. Her past favorite FB would sometimes NOT give her an orgasm. She rated him pretty high because of the connection not the orgasms. My wife is multi-orgasmic. So I've seen her have intense, sweaty, animalistic like sex and not want to be with that guy again. As a sometime BBC bull I think I'm doing a great job when I make a lady have a few orgasms. Now after talking to my wife I'm having second thoughts. So do orgasms = great sex to you ladies?

In my experience, it is definitely possible to have multiple orgasms during a mediocre session. For example, one time I picked up a guy in a bar and we went back to his hotel room. He got me off a couple times orally, but had condom issues and ended up rubbing one out on the sly while he was going down on me. Not really what I was looking for, to say the least. Even in less bad cases there are times when an orgasm is just a basic physical response to stimuli and other times when it is mind-blowing. Surely it is the same for men - not every ejaculation is equal, right? So I would take your wife at her word when she rates her guys.

i hope i'm not asking something that's already been asked, but what do women think/fantasize about when the man goes down on her after (to the extent you do that)?

carl_drex - I close my eyes and I get lost in the sensations. No fantasizing. I like to feel it all and get lost in what's happening right at that moment.

long time lurker. Have a question for you ladies. the wife was resistant to the idea of hotwifing for the first 7 years of our relationship, however, she is on vacation now, and just texted me telling me she told a friend of hers out east that you wanted to fuck him. this was a huge step for her, she asked for my permission, & I granted it. he was initially cool that, but he later recanted when he knew that I was aware of what was going on. I think that this is cut back her confidence a little bit, and she can't help but feel rejecte think that there is a best way to proceed from this point out? Should I encourage her to find somebody else? Help her find somebody else?, I'm just kind of lostd. I don't want this to derail any momentum that we have moving forward in this. Do you think I should encourage her to find somebody else? Should I let her come back home and lick her wounds? I'm just kind of lost. any advice you could give would be greatly appreciated!