Our Hotwives

Posted by request from another topic

Contracting a STD will depend more on who one has sex with moreso than the numbers of people one sleeps with.

I am 68 and my SO is 69. Both having been sexually active for the better part of our lives and never a disease. We want to know the person before we have sex with them, There is a guy I would love for my better half to have sex with. However he goes to bars and picks up any woman that will walk out with him and has unprotected sex. At least one of the ladies he has been with is a known drug user. He may have gotten lucky and never caught anything or he may be passing it on to his partners unknownigly. We are not going to take a chance with him based on his history, even if he was to use protection.

Very promising results thanks

My wife caught genital herpes (HSV2) more than 30 years ago, before we met, long before any hotwifing. It's a minor skin condition with a huge stigma. Most people who have it never have symptoms and are unaware of being infected.

After decades of unprotected sex with my wife, I took it for granted that I had it too, without symptoms, but recent testing shows that I don't. Possibly I have some immunity.

It's also true that herpes is more contagious male->female than vice versa.

We started hotwifing a few months ago, and have been up front with all of her partners about the herpes (all but one so far have also had it).

One place we have found men for her is on hswing.com, a swinging site for people with HSV.

I think the most common STD which has is 100% deadly is LIFE :-)

Just thought you all needed to cheer up after these bad thoughts.

Bumping for new respondents

Shared my ex for 7 years, she went bareback with almost every guy of the 17 who had her in that timet except for 1-2. The key is selecting carefully and making sure everyone has a recent test to show cleanliness as well! One night stands might be a different story which is why they're usually a big no no despite being hotter.

Picked up a strange urinary tract protozoa at Desire. Rare in the States, common in Europe. Easily fixable but not the paranoia. My wife is a little gun shy, pun intended, but she's getting more realistic. Even a cold can be a STD and what the hell we are all terminal.

I've been married to Cassie for almost 20 years and known her for over 20. We've been in the lifestyle since we started dating and before we started our family the rule was condoms for her friends always.

The rule for the last few years is condoms always unless he can prove that he's clean. If he proves he's clean we have no problems with him being bare.

I think it's a mix of the condom policy and being lucky to a point as Cassie has had 56 men fuck her (not including me) in her life and hasn't contracted any disease. She's still checked regularly and has not had any scares or issues since we loosened up the condom rule.

I selected NONE.

I have been into hotwife, (definitely an evolved preference), swinging, being the other guy, etc., for almost all of my relatively long adult life. So I got to thinking. Personally and for my wife of more than a dozen years, the answer is no. There was a close call, but we got tested and were negative, though a couple we sometime played with and a small circle they played with did get the clap. Guess our timing was lucky.

My very long ago X, who was a girlfriend at the time, got herpes from a couple she had an fmf with. That happened several months after we started dating. I know how painful it was for her when she would have an outbreak. She was pretty well in touch with her body, so was aware well ahead of when an outbreak coming and we would abstain until a few days after the symptoms were gone.

Herpes back then considered more of an annoyance, before it became a considered a lifetime std that would condemn your life forever, that news-media hysterically made it out to be. The only other couple we were aware of that had herpes, was a couple that was in our Lamaze class, She was the first in the class to have her child - by C-section, when her doc discovered a small lesion during a pelvic exam a couple of weeks before her due date. Our obn/gyn was aware, but she did not have a breakout during her pregnancy.

My X fucked a lot of guys, we swung together and separately with singles of both sexes and swung while we were married. We never used condoms, but would absolutely abstain during times she thought she might be able to pass it on. She and I have remained on a reasonably good basis, though haven't fucked each other for a very long time. She is very bi and has had a very active sex life with a lot of partners, throughout her life. She never remarried and her longer term relationships seemed drama filled. like out marriage.

I asked a few years ago how she had dealt with having herpes and if she had passed it on. She said she was absolutely careful to avoid sex when she thought her herpes were active, pre- or post active. She said over the years, her breakouts became much longer between, until it had been years since she had an outbreak. Her site was just at the entry of lower part of her vagina. She said it was always so painful that she didn't see how anyone could have sex when they had an outbreak. She said there was always a feeling at that spot that told her when an outbreak was coming; that would go away a few days after an outbreak had subsided. She said she did not pass herpes to anyone else. I believe her.

One last thing: My wife has a latex allergy. She first became aware of it a dozen years ago when she used condoms at a hotel party, where she was, lets say, very popular. She broke out with hives and small blisters all over her body, that lasted for a month. Prescribed Benedryl kept her sleeping a good part of that month. We tried "non-allergenic" condoms, but they were extremely irritating to her. So we quit using condoms, begin testing, and became even more selective and careful in our screening of others. We have respectably turned down others that we would have loved to have fucked, but felt they were either a bit too careless, played with drugs other than pot or they had a "condoms only policy".

Seems latex allergies are getting more and more common. They can be dangerous and even fatal to some. Not so sure condoms, at least latex condoms, are a good choice.

Sorry to be so long. Hope ti was helpful. I am going to add herpes to our none, on the survey.

funcpl477 wrote:I selected NONE.

I have been into hotwife, (definitely an evolved preference), swinging, being the other guy, etc., for almost all of my relatively long adult life. So I got to thinking. Personally and for my wife of more than a dozen years, the answer is no. There was a close call, but we got tested and were negative, though a couple we sometime played with and a small circle they played with did get the clap. Guess our timing was lucky.

My very long ago X, who was a girlfriend at the time, got herpes from a couple she had an fmf with. That happened several months after we started dating. I know how painful it was for her when she would have an outbreak. She was pretty well in touch with her body, so was aware well ahead of when an outbreak coming and we would abstain until a few days after the symptoms were gone.

Herpes back then considered more of an annoyance, before it became a considered a lifetime std that would condemn your life forever, that news-media hysterically made it out to be. The only other couple we were aware of that had herpes, was a couple that was in our Lamaze class, She was the first in the class to have her child - by C-section, when her doc discovered a small lesion during a pelvic exam a couple of weeks before her due date. Our obn/gyn was aware, but she did not have a breakout during her pregnancy.

My X fucked a lot of guys, we swung together and separately with singles of both sexes and swung while we were married. We never used condoms, but would absolutely abstain during times she thought she might be able to pass it on. She and I have remained on a reasonably good basis, though haven't fucked each other for a very long time. She is very bi and has had a very active sex life with a lot of partners, throughout her life. She never remarried and her longer term relationships seemed drama filled. like out marriage.

I asked a few years ago how she had dealt with having herpes and if she had passed it on. She said she was absolutely careful to avoid sex when she thought her herpes were active, pre- or post active. She said over the years, her breakouts became much longer between, until it had been years since she had an outbreak. Her site was just at the entry of lower part of her vagina. She said it was always so painful that she didn't see how anyone could have sex when they had an outbreak. She said there was always a feeling at that spot that told her when an outbreak was coming; that would go away a few days after an outbreak had subsided. She said she did not pass herpes to anyone else. I believe her.

One last thing: My wife has a latex allergy. She first became aware of it a dozen years ago when she used condoms at a hotel party, where she was, lets say, very popular. She broke out with hives and small blisters all over her body, that lasted for a month. Prescribed Benedryl kept her sleeping a good part of that month. We tried "non-allergenic" condoms, but they were extremely irritating to her. So we quit using condoms, begin testing, and became even more selective and careful in our screening of others. We have respectably turned down others that we would have loved to have fucked, but felt they were either a bit too careless, played with drugs other than pot or they had a "condoms only policy".

Seems latex allergies are getting more and more common. They can be dangerous and even fatal to some. Not so sure condoms, at least latex condoms, are a good choice.

Sorry to be so long. Hope ti was helpful. I am going to add herpes to our none, on the survey.

This is not surprising. The two most effective ways to not transmit herpes are: abstaining during outbreaks, and taking suppressive medication such as Valtrex. Condoms add a little more protection but not much. Also females are half as likely to transmit herpes as men. For women who follow these guidelines, risk of transmission is close to zero.

Most transmission of herpes occurs from asymptomatic partners who unwittingly pass it on. Most people who have herpes do not get symptoms, and standard STD panels don't include it. (It's not part of the CDC testing protocol because studies showed that knowing one's diagnosis did *not* change their behavior. ) There are a lot of folks out there who think they are D/D free and they are not when it comes to this.

Also there are non latex silicone condoms for those with latex allergies.

FatherDom wrote:While grieving the death of my true soulmate, I married a gal that I had known many years before. We'd had a great sexual relationship, and I guess I thought having her in my life again would ease the pain of my loss. I wanted her to shave, and she obliged. She nicked herself several times, however, and I wound up with herpes. I was away on a business trip and developed a 103 degree fever at dinner with clients. I was really, really sick, and the next thing I knew were the lesions at the base of my dick. TMI, I know, but I wanted to stifle the belief that women don't pass it to men. It's a blood disease that manifests itself on the skin, and while it's overhyped as awful, the truth is the stigma is much worse than the disease. Live and learn. Oh, and we divorced after only a few months.

I'm not saying it never happens, and i'm sorry that it happened to you. I am saying that it's possible to reduce risk considerably, and the studies that have been done suggest female-male transmission rates are approximately one half the rate of male-female transmission.

sadly my wife has only been with 4 people as a HW (one of them 3 times) and we caught chlamydia. which is treatable. We arent 100% sure how to proceed because if we ask for clean tests they will want to go bareback which she doesnt want to do, especially since they might have been with another directly after the test. To bad there isnt an instant STD test, would ease our minds considerably. would love to hear any suggestions on limiting these issues as much as possible if anyone has some good links to quality info. Neither of us want to have her stop playing even if we have to screen more etc.

One person checked the HIV box....scary...it does happen.

None, luckily, and yes I would admit it if we had any issues.

My wife has been a hotwife for @ 17+ years and rarely uses a condom unless the guy insists. She gets checked often at her OB/GYN and we've never had a problem. We tend to be very selective with the men she sees, but she has been with a lot of men over the years, so I guess we've had a fair amount of luck as well. We tried swinging with other couples early on and no one was using condoms that we saw, so we kind of went with the flow. My wife insists that she is not fully satisfied until a guy cums in her. She can have multiple orgasms, but until she has semen in her, she stays pretty wound up. Her gynecologist told her that there is a hormone in semen that women absorb and can provide a euphoric or satiated feeling to some. Apparently my wife is very sensitive to it and it's a noticeable difference in satisfaction when a guy doesn't ejaculate in her.

My wife did not use condoms with any of the 9 guys she had in college either which could have been pretty high risk as well. We should be more cautious, but she really hates the way a condom feels and the whole point of our choice of lifestyle is a focus on maximizing her pleasures...

She did get lice one time from a ski rental helmet at a Ritz Carlton of all places, so does that count?? Who would have figured on that one with all the crazy stuff we have tried over the years!!!

hotwifeloverpdx wrote:One person checked the HIV box....scary...it does happen.

With 300 people responding, yes one would be expected. About one in 300 US citizens is living with HIV -- and about 12% of those are unaware.

See also the poll on STD frequency vs # of bareback partners --
http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=34022

pancuckold wrote:

hotwifeloverpdx wrote:One person checked the HIV box....scary...it does happen.

With 300 people responding, yes one would be expected. About one in 300 US citizens is living with HIV -- and about 12% of those are unaware.

See also the poll on STD frequency vs # of bareback partners --
http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=34022

You're actually safer with some one who is hiv positive with no viral load than someone who doesn't know their status. Studies have shown that partners don't catch it when the positive partner is following their meds.

Someone who doesn't know, and,has unprotected sex, may have a detectable viral load, and be more of a danger. These are the people transmitting the disease.

Allegedly, the very few studies out there have suggested that the risk of swingers acquiring an STD is not significantly different from the general population.

That may be. Note the comments on here about acquiring STDs occurring while single. The rate among swingers may be similar to the general population because a lot of people have unsafe sex with questionable partners who themselves have sex with lots of other people.

What our hotwives do is not very different from the general population, I think. We are just more honest and open about it.

hotwifecuckhubby wrote:None, luckily, and yes I would admit it if we had any issues.

My wife has been a hotwife for @ 17+ years and rarely uses a condom unless the guy insists. She gets checked often at her OB/GYN and we've never had a problem. We tend to be very selective with the men she sees, but she has been with a lot of men over the years, so I guess we've had a fair amount of luck as well. We tried swinging with other couples early on and no one was using condoms that we saw, so we kind of went with the flow. My wife insists that she is not fully satisfied until a guy cums in her. She can have multiple orgasms, but until she has semen in her, she stays pretty wound up. Her gynecologist told her that there is a hormone in semen that women absorb and can provide a euphoric or satiated feeling to some. Apparently my wife is very sensitive to it and it's a noticeable difference in satisfaction when a guy doesn't ejaculate in her.

My wife did not use condoms with any of the 9 guys she had in college either which could have been pretty high risk as well.

My wife says the same thing about the euphoric hormone reaction from semen. She told me that all of her sex has been bareback including high school and while being a shared wife in her first marriage. Except for one time when her ex shared her with an older married man. That man insisted on using a condom. According to her that is the only condom that has been inside her.
She did get HPV during her first marriage but treated and she has not had any symptoms for years. Before she became sexually active again as a hot wife last year, we were totally open with our friend about Juli's past sexual partners etc. It was agreed that he would go bare with Juli, ejaculating his semen inside her, and we all would remain monogamous within our 3-way relationship.

Bump

According to the CDC (www dot cdc.gov/std/stats16/default.htm), the most common reportable STDs, in order, are:
1. Chlamydia. Can cause infertility and pelvic inflammatory disease.
2. Gonorrhea. Ditto.
3. Syphilis. Much less common. Killed Beethoven and any number of other historical figures.

Many other infections transmitted via sex are not reportable. I see a lot of:
1. Trichomonas. Cute little parasites.
2. HPV. Can cause benign little warts, huge nasty warts, and abnormal pap smears. Also cervical, anal and penile cancer. Prevalence >40%.
3. Herpes simplex virus. Super common, and mostly just irritating, although stigmatizing.
4. Blood-born infections like HIV and hepatitis. Obviously super-concerning but harder to catch through sexual activity than you might think.

This is a topic that I know a lot about, and don't mind answering questions.

Fortunately none...

cpeater wrote:According to the CDC (www dot cdc.gov/std/stats16/default.htm), the most common reportable STDs, in order, are:
1. Chlamydia. Can cause infertility and pelvic inflammatory disease.
2. Gonorrhea. Ditto.
3. Syphilis. Much less common. Killed Beethoven and any number of other historical figures.

Many other infections transmitted via sex are not reportable. I see a lot of:
1. Trichomonas. Cute little parasites.
2. HPV. Can cause benign little warts, huge nasty warts, and abnormal pap smears. Also cervical, anal and penile cancer. Prevalence >40%.
3. Herpes simplex virus. Super common, and mostly just irritating, although stigmatizing.
4. Blood-born infections like HIV and hepatitis. Obviously super-concerning but harder to catch through sexual activity than you might think.

This is a topic that I know a lot about, and don't mind answering questions.

It seems that the risk of unprotected oral sex is quite low.

What is your assessment on that topic?

Mr GILF

Ephraim wrote:My wife caught genital herpes (HSV2) more than 30 years ago, before we met, long before any hotwifing. It's a minor skin condition with a huge stigma. Most people who have it never have symptoms and are unaware of being infected.

After decades of unprotected sex with my wife, I took it for granted that I had it too, without symptoms, but recent testing shows that I don't. Possibly I have some immunity.

It's also true that herpes is more contagious male->female than vice versa.

We started hotwifing a few months ago, and have been up front with all of her partners about the herpes (all but one so far have also had it).

One place we have found men for her is on hswing.com, a swinging site for people with HSV.

That is likely the case. About 40% of the human population is immune. About 60% is immune for herpes simplex

I was most likely exposed to HPV. My Pap smear showed atypical cells, although the follow up test was negative. I use condoms with most men, except for long term friends whom I know well.