Rules for hotwife ?

For hotwives and the men who adore them.

Do you have "Rules" for Hotwifing

No rules, whatever hotwife wants is agreed to
266
41%
No Kissing
13
2%
No Oral
3
0%
No staying all night
90
14%
No real dating, just sex
131
20%
No bareback intercourse
63
10%
Other rules unspecified
79
12%
 
Total votes: 645

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MichaelW
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by MichaelW » Thu Aug 25, 2016 4:33 am

When we first started we had a long list of conditions and rules that I set up to ensure my comfort, security, and prevent what I felt would be threatening things. No communication without my knowledge, condoms always, no overnights, and a host of other things that soon went by the wayside. All of this concentrated around a black lover with long endurance and an oversized cock that she thought she fell in love with.

At one point after my discovery of what was going on and her confessions that followed she said that she thought they had been together in a past life, and she would have loved to have had a child by him (something he talked about, but he didn't know she had had a tubal litigation and that was an impossibility). She had told him she loved him, and he her, which cut deep.

We survived and recovered and continue in the lifestyle without the intensity we once did, and our rules have boiled down to simply one word, honesty. If you can pull that off then everything else is not necessary anyway.
Husband of a hotwife with a preference for interracial.

bjaficionado
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by bjaficionado » Thu Aug 25, 2016 7:11 am

MichaelW wrote:When we first started we had a long list of conditions and rules that I set up to ensure my comfort, security, and prevent what I felt would be threatening things. No communication without my knowledge, condoms always, no overnights, and a host of other things that soon went by the wayside. All of this concentrated around a black lover with long endurance and an oversized cock that she thought she fell in love with.

At one point after my discovery of what was going on and her confessions that followed she said that she thought they had been together in a past life, and she would have loved to have had a child by him (something he talked about, but he didn't know she had had a tubal litigation and that was an impossibility). She had told him she loved him, and he her, which cut deep.

We survived and recovered and continue in the lifestyle without the intensity we once did, and our rules have boiled down to simply one word, honesty. If you can pull that off then everything else is not necessary anyway.
Your story, very concerning, just makes a couple of the rules I have feel even more correct, like doing anything beyond oral with us both in the same room and only doing repeat visits if we both agree. The honesty is absolutely the most important thing, but once that becomes an issue, this changes from something that you do together into outright cheating, and that's a whole other issue.

I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I had to laugh a little at her assertion that they must have been together in a past life. To quote Kanye West, "good dick'll do that".
Here's my story of my wife trying as many dicks as possible.

WillingHubby
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by WillingHubby » Fri Feb 03, 2017 9:03 am

Just thought I would bump this thread because my hotwife wife4lends started it! :cool:

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SSQ
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by SSQ » Fri Feb 03, 2017 9:58 am

This really seems rather too brief to actually be of value.

There is a big difference between "whatever she wants" and then a list of silly rules about particular sex acts. I would venture to say if you are more worried about what sex acts your wife is doing with someone else, you have bigger issues.
It's all fun until someone gets hurt... and then it's more fun! :whip:

https://thehappyhotwife.blogspot.com/

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SSQ
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by SSQ » Fri Feb 03, 2017 10:09 am

Actually, I don't even like the word "rules" here. I do not believe that adults in a healthy relationship make rules for each other. If it's done as a couple, surely there are better words to use, like guidelines? But any rate, here are ours:

Give your partner your trust, honesty, and respect. Trust their judgment.
Remember your partner is someone you love, not an asshole. If something goes wrong, look at it from their perspective.
We WILL both at some times screw up and hurt each other. Treat your partner how you would want to be treated.
Don't expect things to stay the same- relationships and people are dynamic. Listen to your partner so you know how they feel now.
Remember that everyone we get involved with is a person with their own needs, wants, and desires, even if we only engage with them peripherally.
Check in with your partner regularly and see if they are getting their needs and wants met. Communicate effectively.

Honestly, the only boundaries we have that I think are of the type you name still fall under #1 for us. I think if you follow the above guidelines then you'll be OK no matter what. We've agreed that if we form a new relationship, not just fucking, that the new person needs to be introduced to the existing partner so they aren't just a faceless human. And we've agreed that we won't engage in unprotected sex without discussion. We trust each other not to do something stupid and to put the needs of the relationship first. And if they do screw something up, we'll work it out respectfully.
It's all fun until someone gets hurt... and then it's more fun! :whip:

https://thehappyhotwife.blogspot.com/

Her number1

Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by Her number1 » Fri Feb 03, 2017 1:34 pm

Zona wrote:
Cray-z-dayz wrote:We don't has a list of rules, per se, but there are some we follow.

No falling in love. Some may say you cannot control this, but Jewel and I feel that is a cop-out. No falling in love means that you monitor your feelings, and stop yourself short if you feel that stronger feelings are developing. Things like limiting contact, reducing texting, and sharing your communications with lovers with your significant other, so that you are more conscious of your emotional state... basically forcing yourself to be more aware of where your head (and your heart) is at. At 50, we believe this is something we can do... we're not love-struck teenagers anymore.

No sleeping over. It goes to the rule above. We feel that unless both of us is sleeping over (e.g. next hotel room), we should always wake up together. Just keeps our closeness between the two of us, but we do allow for the occasional exception. But it doesn't happen unless both of us is likewise 'entertained'. ;)

No real dating. This is not the same as allowing each other to be alone socially with a lover, but I'm referring to romantic dating. Again, it feeds into the first item. Jewel and I are each others love and life; not that we don't care for lovers... but romance is for us, not our playmates. And yes, so far, so good.

-Cray
^^^ This.

Dead solid perfect, Cray!

From reading the various posts on this thread it becomes obvious that different posters have different perspectives on what love is. That's understandable and it certainly explains why some hubbies have no problem with their wife "falling in love". That, I think, is because their conception of love for a BF or FWB is more akin to fondness or a strong "like".

But others view their wives loving their boyfriends to mean something a lot different--something more akin to romantic love, even though it may really be just NRE.

Your rules, Cray, fall almost exactly in line with what Mrs Truckstar, whom I still think is the smartest hotwife to ever grace these pages--certainly the most experienced (GOD, how I miss her!) has stated over and over here. The hotwife must be the gatekeeper to her own emotions, and just as importantly, to the emotions of the BF. When she feels emotions on EITHER of their parts are getting too strong, SHE must be the one to end the relationship.

When are emotions getting too strong? When they start impacting her marriage. That might be as early as the first time she allows herself to put her boyfriend ahead of her husband on ANYTHING, no matter how seemingly trivial. The husband is an equal partner in her adventure, and "The marriage always, ALWAYS, comes first". She might think it is trivial but he oftentimes may not. "I know that we had plans to go to a movie honey, but he invited me to dinner at a really nice restaurant. So what's the problem?" The problem, of course, is that she selfishly put her interests and that of her boyfriend's ahead of her husband. How would she feel if he did that to her?

This is a partnership. This is a partnership. This is a partnership.

Just say "No".

I simply do not believe that a woman does not have enough self-control to "like someone" or "have feelings for someone" without falling in love with them.

The Cray-z-dayz and FWBinIndy couples in my opinion have among the most sensible "rules" I've seen on OHW.

Cray, your last paragraph
Quote - Cray: No real dating. This is not the same as allowing each other to be alone socially with a lover, but I'm referring to romantic dating. Again, it feeds into the first item. Jewel and I are each others love and life; not that we don't care for lovers... but romance is for us, not our playmates.
reminds me of something some very wise husband once said on OHW (sorry, I don't remember who it was so I can't give proper credit). He said "It isn't the time she spends fucking her boyfriend; it is the time they spend together NOT fucking that worries me. That's when they fall in love." In my mind that includes the "romantic dating" Cray mentioned. But it also includes excessive texting, phoning, and even the time cuddling in the afterglow between fucks while waiting for him to recharge.
Just saw this thread. This is some of the best advice I've seen. One could look at them as rules or boundaries, whichever works. Add real honesty and you have what guildlines we like.

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Cray-z-dayz
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by Cray-z-dayz » Fri Feb 03, 2017 3:53 pm

Her number1 wrote: Just saw this thread. This is some of the best advice I've seen. One could look at them as rules or boundaries, whichever works. Add real honesty and you have what guildlines we like.
Thanks. So far, so good. I think we're in our third year of this adventure, and everything is still good. :) And yes, completely honest, full communication between husband and wife is a MUST. ZERO secrets. ;)

-Cray
I never thought my wife could be this wild. I am SO lucky.

JeffBingham

Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by JeffBingham » Tue Feb 07, 2017 7:16 am

Zona wrote:
Cray-z-dayz wrote:We don't has a list of rules, per se, but there are some we follow.

No falling in love. Some may say you cannot control this, but Jewel and I feel that is a cop-out. No falling in love means that you monitor your feelings, and stop yourself short if you feel that stronger feelings are developing. Things like limiting contact, reducing texting, and sharing your communications with lovers with your significant other, so that you are more conscious of your emotional state... basically forcing yourself to be more aware of where your head (and your heart) is at. At 50, we believe this is something we can do... we're not love-struck teenagers anymore.

No sleeping over. It goes to the rule above. We feel that unless both of us is sleeping over (e.g. next hotel room), we should always wake up together. Just keeps our closeness between the two of us, but we do allow for the occasional exception. But it doesn't happen unless both of us is likewise 'entertained'. ;)

No real dating. This is not the same as allowing each other to be alone socially with a lover, but I'm referring to romantic dating. Again, it feeds into the first item. Jewel and I are each others love and life; not that we don't care for lovers... but romance is for us, not our playmates. And yes, so far, so good.

-Cray
^^^ This.

Dead solid perfect, Cray!

From reading the various posts on this thread it becomes obvious that different posters have different perspectives on what love is. That's understandable and it certainly explains why some hubbies have no problem with their wife "falling in love". That, I think, is because their conception of love for a BF or FWB is more akin to fondness or a strong "like".

But others view their wives loving their boyfriends to mean something a lot different--something more akin to romantic love, even though it may really be just NRE.

Your rules, Cray, fall almost exactly in line with what Mrs Truckstar, whom I still think is the smartest hotwife to ever grace these pages--certainly the most experienced (GOD, how I miss her!) has stated over and over here. The hotwife must be the gatekeeper to her own emotions, and just as importantly, to the emotions of the BF. When she feels emotions on EITHER of their parts are getting too strong, SHE must be the one to end the relationship.

When are emotions getting too strong? When they start impacting her marriage. That might be as early as the first time she allows herself to put her boyfriend ahead of her husband on ANYTHING, no matter how seemingly trivial. The husband is an equal partner in her adventure, and "The marriage always, ALWAYS, comes first". She might think it is trivial but he oftentimes may not. "I know that we had plans to go to a movie honey, but he invited me to dinner at a really nice restaurant. So what's the problem?" The problem, of course, is that she selfishly put her interests and that of her boyfriend's ahead of her husband. How would she feel if he did that to her?

This is a partnership. This is a partnership. This is a partnership.

Just say "No".

I simply do not believe that a woman does not have enough self-control to "like someone" or "have feelings for someone" without falling in love with them.

The Cray-z-dayz and FWBinIndy couples in my opinion have among the most sensible "rules" I've seen on OHW.

Cray, your last paragraph
Quote - Cray: No real dating. This is not the same as allowing each other to be alone socially with a lover, but I'm referring to romantic dating. Again, it feeds into the first item. Jewel and I are each others love and life; not that we don't care for lovers... but romance is for us, not our playmates.
reminds me of something some very wise husband once said on OHW (sorry, I don't remember who it was so I can't give proper credit). He said "It isn't the time she spends fucking her boyfriend; it is the time they spend together NOT fucking that worries me. That's when they fall in love." In my mind that includes the "romantic dating" Cray mentioned. But it also includes excessive texting, phoning, and even the time cuddling in the afterglow between fucks while waiting for him to recharge.
:up: You both nailed it!

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leander99
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by leander99 » Tue Feb 07, 2017 10:11 am

On the cuckold forum there is a thread "Boundaries for husbands" Here in the hotwife forum we have a thread "Rules for hotwives"

I belong more on the cuckold side.
My wife doesn't have rules. We had some agreements initially, but they have faded overtime. She is mostly free to enjoy herself.

Meanwhile she definitely has some rules for me...

I should add our relationship is very solid. I have no fear I might lose her.

Wifesharing
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by Wifesharing » Tue Feb 07, 2017 10:38 am

leander99 wrote:On the cuckold forum there is a thread "Boundaries for husbands" Here in the hotwife forum we have a thread "Rules for hotwives"

I belong more on the cuckold side.
My wife doesn't have rules. We had some agreements initially, but they have faded overtime. She is mostly free to enjoy herself.

Meanwhile she definitely has some rules for me...

I should add our relationship is very solid. I have no fear I might lose her.

We don't really have rules. We practice great communication if something bothers me or doesn't feel right I say something, but in general I want her to act natural and let things happen as they do how ever they turn out. In the very begining we set things up almost over talked it and planned things that led to dissappointment because things never go fully as planned and some things are silly and the other guy really has some input as does the venue and setting.

As long as we communicate things are good. I do not flirt with or desire other woman mostly it is my thing but also because I know this was my fantasy and she does not share the desire and it would hurt her, and I would never do anything to hurt my wife.

Wifedates

Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by Wifedates » Mon May 14, 2018 7:08 am

Other then safety, our rules are simple
Honesty!!!

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tit4atat
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by tit4atat » Mon May 14, 2018 12:37 pm

To me it seems that rules diminish the fun.
Basically no rules, except honesty.
Hot kissing with a hot guy gets her pussy so wet that she wants to be fucked.
Without the kissing, how would she build up her lust?

Most other rules, similar result. I find she really likes to "date" as if there are no strings attached.
Really enjoy a connection with a guy and then the sex is so much better.

Even to the point of falling in love. That can also be enjoyable but a bit harder to manage.
I guess that is the the extreme case of cuckold and angst.
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=61677&p=1182099#p1182099

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Tncvegas
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by Tncvegas » Mon May 21, 2018 11:53 am

Our rules are:
1. I’m always present in the room with her (her request, although I REALLY enjoy watching and paticipating so I like this rule, too).
2. No anal.
3. Always use a condom.
4. No swallowing.

We’ve not strayed from those rules and it has served us well.

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Des 31
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by Des 31 » Mon May 21, 2018 11:59 am

No rules, but I enjoy helping her get ready to go out for her date.
Our hotwife history from its beginning at viewtopic.php?f=5&t=50057

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Des 31
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by Des 31 » Sat May 26, 2018 5:27 pm

I realized early on that setting rules would have killed any extramarital relationship. My only request is that if I'm not around to watch that she tell me all about it. That almost always ends up with our having hot sex. She loves other dicks, and that's all I wanted for her - and for me.
Our hotwife history from its beginning at viewtopic.php?f=5&t=50057

Willing2Share
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by Willing2Share » Thu Nov 22, 2018 4:43 pm

I tend to leave this up to her and she decides as she goes along in the date. If she is really attracted to the guy she would probably want to experience as much as possible

annsman
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by annsman » Fri Nov 23, 2018 2:24 am

The only two “rules” we have is that Ann tells me all about it I’m not present and also that I can stop her if I’m not happy with anything. The first rule has worked well for us and I haven’t had to use my veto so far and hopefully won’t need to.

Other than them, there are no constraints and I find it a big turn on that she feels free to do what she wants when she is with her boyfriend

SammySings
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by SammySings » Fri Nov 23, 2018 4:30 am

No raw dogging, for fear of disease and pregnancy, since she isn't on the pill. She broke that rule once and the morning after pill ain't cheap.

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McRex
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by McRex » Fri Nov 23, 2018 5:32 am

In our case, no rules have been established for the wife. She could do whatever she wanted and allow her men to do whatever he wish with her. This is anal sex, and kisses, and unusual poses, and sex in unusual places, absolutely everything. She got a lot of new experience and emotions.

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il2sw
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by il2sw » Fri Nov 23, 2018 6:33 am

I selected no rules. At first, I had thought of having some rules for her playing alone, but one day she asked me to just trust her and have no rules. I agreed. I proposed some guidelines though.

I’ve written more about that in our thread:
viewtopic.php?p=917944#p917944
Our story and pics: here

MDHotwifeHubby
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by MDHotwifeHubby » Fri Nov 23, 2018 12:24 pm

For us it is only:

1) she has to message me when it's about to happen and/or as soon thereafter as possible, and

2) she has to let me have a turn with her as soon as possible wherein she tells me all the details.

a third unspoken one is:

3) no secrets. everything on the table.

We since added:

4) emotional intimacy in the moment is okay but long-term emotional intimacy is not. We know that one has some gray area so for now we've just committed to keep an open dialogue about it and be honest with one another about our feelings. We'll see how it goes as we get deeper into things.
Me (45), her (33)
Met Nov '10, Married Dec '13, MFM swingers Feb '17, Hotwife & hubby Oct '18
Our Story: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=52075

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PnG2010
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by PnG2010 » Fri Nov 23, 2018 4:21 pm

Rules? We don't need no steekin' rules.

It's encouraging to see the majority of votes for freedom.

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jagman1957
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by jagman1957 » Thu Dec 13, 2018 2:57 pm

"Rules" place a lot of stress on the wife, and actually are antithetical to the concept of cuckolding. A cuckold is a man whose wife fucks other men. She is in charge. The cuckold accepts it, or he leaves. "Rules" imply that the wife is fucking within guidelines determined by the husband, and HE is in charge. I guess a cuckold could say "You can do x and y, but if you do Z, I will leave you," that's not so much of a "rule" but an ultimatum.

If you make a "rule" how are you going to enforce it? Tell her she "can't" fuck anymore? How exactly would you keep her legs closed? Withhold her allowance? Make her sleep on the couch? Sell her car? I mean what would you do? So YOU can have your "rule" that say's if she goes so far, I will leave, but that is the rule you have for yourself, not for her. (Thoughts?)
I am cuckold!
My avatar compares me to my wife's biggest bull.

verkitwme
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by verkitwme » Thu Dec 13, 2018 3:10 pm

Hubby know where and when I"m playing, his choice if he wants to be there (95% of the time he is)
NO PAIN or anything gross

pasadena95
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by pasadena95 » Thu Dec 13, 2018 3:30 pm

No rules, I trust her judgement and want her to have great pleasure, no need to worry( or even think) about me. This is all about her. She will share the details with me later if she chooses to.

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