Rules for hotwife ?

For hotwives and the men who adore them.

Do you have "Rules" for Hotwifing

No rules, whatever hotwife wants is agreed to
266
41%
No Kissing
13
2%
No Oral
3
0%
No staying all night
90
14%
No real dating, just sex
131
20%
No bareback intercourse
63
10%
Other rules unspecified
79
12%
 
Total votes: 645

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wife4lends
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Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by wife4lends » Sat Feb 28, 2015 5:16 pm

So we were discussing "rules" that husband's have for their wives before they go out as "hotwives" and we've never had any that we don't agree on but most have to do with safety and where I will be at a given time. As far as other things that I can do while I am out... We don't have any except that my hubby wants me to have fun

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kristin4441
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by kristin4441 » Sat Feb 28, 2015 5:21 pm

wife4lends wrote:So we were discussing "rules" that husband's have for their wives before they go out as "hotwives" and we've never had any that we don't agree on but most have to do with safety and where I will be at a given time. As far as other things that I can do while I am out... We don't have any except that my hubby wants me to have fun
Well said i have the same arrangement

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whtboyzwife
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by whtboyzwife » Sat Feb 28, 2015 8:46 pm

We have a few rules. Number 1 - No falling in love!
The rest are "soft" rules or are open for discussion.
-must wear heels while fucking
-must wear "hotwife" anklet while fucking
-must get pictures and videos to share
-must be home by predetermined time - no excuses
-always more threesomes than singles, by a factor of two

And I have broken every one of soft rules at least once, and hubby still loves me and let's me play :D
Happy wife, happy life!

Love being a Hotwife, love my husband more!
Happily married to Whtboy69!
Afternoon playdate thread: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=35392

Lenny

Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by Lenny » Sun Mar 01, 2015 12:06 pm

I am the hot husband in our marriage. My wife likes to watch but she has been with other men early in our marriage before discovering that she was bi and prefered women. Watching my wife with a good friend was boring. She did not make love but merely allowed him to pump into her until he came. No kissing, no gentle caresses or even talking. She just did the deed to please me.

I am the opposite. I like a lot of foreplay and often would put off sex with the wives for a few dates until they were crazy with lust. Then I would take my time with them and it always worked out well. A few of the 30 wives I can remember, did just want sex but I never wanted to see them again after that. Not my thing to be used as a living dildo. What I learned is that unlike a lot of questionable posts, most wives are not looking for whatever the current fantasy online is. They want to feel desired, attractive and sexy again. Something they lack at home. Sex is secondary to them or at least to the ones I personally were involved in.

My wife and I never had rules and still do not. I find rules controlling and refuse to date a wife who has more rules than just being home before the morning or no bareback. My wife never gets jealous, I do and not in a good way. I make love to the women I am with the same way I do with my wife and sometimes even beyond that.

I am not a fan of rules in most things which is why I seldom join organizations and work on my own from home. As for secrets, most of the wives I was with had them but they were secret so their cucks never found out. Yes, women lie and are good at it. I am somewhat jaded by my own experiences and still wonder why cucks think rules and trust somehow overcome feelings of love. They rarely do and most of the women I knew ended up leaving their cucks for one of their lovers. My best friend had a fantasy about his wife and his boss. It came true one night and he was thrilled. What his wife, the mother of his two kids and woman who never kept secrets from him, did was to keep having sex with her boss during the day. On a more personal level I had one girlfriend for 6 years and got engaged to her. Caught her with another guy even though we had an open relationship. She just did not feel that it was a big deal anymore and not telling me was no big deal because she got tired of having me tell her who she could have sex with or not. Lesson learned.

My first and only time I was cuckolded ended when my cuckoldress asked my friends to gang bang her. I nodded my approval but they did not want to have sex all together. Instead she gave them oral one by one. None even wanted to have intercourse with her as they feared she may be diseased. I was called in to clean her up. That was bad enough but then I caught her having sex with one of those guys, the ugliest shortest of the bunch. Really treated women like sluts but that is what she liked. I trusted her and we went almost a full year with no problems but she knew I would not approve a relationship with a close friend so she did it behind my back. So much for trust and no secrets.

BTW, while it sound hot to have your wive taken by friends, it does not go like you think. They think less of you and call your wife a slut behind your back. They get annoying trying to get me to invite them over again and feel that they can paw my woman since they had sex with her. Never again. Live and learn.

hotwifeluvr
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by hotwifeluvr » Sun Mar 01, 2015 12:17 pm

CuckoldInAZ wrote:How can you make a rule of "no falling in love"? If they do, are you going to say "but you can't, it was a rule"? Get real, you can HOPE they don't, and they can go into it not wanting/looking for it, but past that it is a stupid rule.
The reason it is unwise is that it really just encourages the hotwife to lie, to herself and to her husband. What it means to "fall in love" is ill-defined, and means different things at different times. But many women are not going to enjoy sex and feel good about it afterward if they don't experience it as an emotional event and have warmth and affection and kind regard for their lover.

To say that is not "love" is splitting hairs, and asking for trouble.

Better to acknowledge that she will likely experience some degree of "puppy love", "crush", or "new love energy". Being prepared for it, it will not come as a shock or surprise when it happens, or to be confused by it and allow it to guide her actions.

If the rule is "no falling in love", she can easily find that she has "fallen in love", and then what? In your fantasy, she will abort the connection and tell you. But it can go other ways as well. She can decide that after all, you put her in the situation.

Vastly better, in my view, to simply clarify what true love in a marriage is: actions and commitment. Feelings come and go and cannot be relied upon. Realizing this, in advance, the hotwife can understand that her wild emotional excitement is simply a crush, which would fade like any other once subjected to the rigors of a true relationship.

sidestreet
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by sidestreet » Sun Mar 01, 2015 12:50 pm

CuckoldInAZ wrote:How can you make a rule of "no falling in love"? If they do, are you going to say "but you can't, it was a rule"? Get real, you can HOPE they don't, and they can go into it not wanting/looking for it, but past that it is a stupid rule.
I think this is one of those things where it's a good goal, or at least an agreement from the two of you that your relationship takes precedence. If anyone finds themselves developing feelings then you can cut it off with them early to avoid more serious complications down the line. We've done it in our swinging time when we felt like someone else was developing more feelings that we were comfortable with, so we cut things off. We've also agreed that we'd be up front with each other if either of us were developing feelings for anyone. Our relationship is the most important thing to us, so if that happens we will cut things off.

Of course there is still always a risk that it hits you unexpectedly, or that one of you won't adhere to the agreement of your relationship being the most important thing.

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zorro
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by zorro » Sun Mar 01, 2015 1:17 pm

In general, our only true rule is that we know that sex with a partner is happening and who that partner is. No surprises or subterfuge.

We have a mutual understanding that we will play with protection, but it does not rise to the level of a "rule." That is just a mutual desire. Some might call it a rule, but "rule" seems more absolute. If she had a regular FB, he was tested, and we had confidence in him, bareback would not be off the table.

Not having feelings for a sex partner seems like a silly, unenforceable rule. It's like demanding that a guy not have a hard on at the sight of a sexy naked woman. We talk about feelings and manage them, not prohibit them. Besides, having fondness for a partner makes for better sex. And there is nothing wrong with a date or an overnight.

Close to a rule is to dump any guy who wants her to leave me. That seems to be going too far. We had one who said that who we kept going with for a while because he really turned her on. But he could not tolerate sharing her with me, so it didn't work out, and eventually he just disappeared. Not sure we would let it go that far, not because it violates a rule but it just will lead to no good outcome.
Sharing your partner is a very loving act. Double her pleasure; double your fun.
Kevin Foster, The Three Marriage Enigmas: ". . . sex with a man other than her husband is simply the most erotic sex possible for a woman."

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mrhotwifejen
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by mrhotwifejen » Sun Mar 01, 2015 3:00 pm

No rules.

enjoyherlife313
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by enjoyherlife313 » Sun Mar 01, 2015 7:51 pm

The one major rule that hubby and I agree to and insist upon is that I must experience significantly better sexual highs than I have previously -- or with hubby of course. Otherwise what is the point.

Frakkmywife
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by Frakkmywife » Sun Mar 01, 2015 8:18 pm

I know if my wife chose to have sex with another man again some of these would be in effect for us. There would be no heavy, passionate "soul" kissing, regular dating, and I'd insist on the use of condoms. Oral sex would definitely be encouraged though. I'd want my wife to suck his cock and for him to eat her pussy. A 69 would be nice.

sandy98
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by sandy98 » Tue Mar 03, 2015 10:19 am

I voted "No Rules", but the one rule hubby expects is for me not to fall in love enough with my lover that I end up leaving him.

seth1805
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by seth1805 » Wed Mar 04, 2015 4:00 am

CuckoldInAZ wrote:How can you make a rule of "no falling in love"? If they do, are you going to say "but you can't, it was a rule"? Get real, you can HOPE they don't, and they can go into it not wanting/looking for it, but past that it is a stupid rule.

Our only rules concern safety. Like I need to have a make/model of car and license plate if she just met the guy, hotel room number, address, stuff like that.

As for pictures and whatnot, I'd LIKE her to take them, but its not a rule. Fortunately she likes teasing me with them, so it works out. Any rules she enforces on any dates are her rules for herself,,,,, and her rules for me.

Couldn't agree more. My wife has "feelings" for this guy and the way she talks about him I could believe she loves him. It's possible to love more than one person. I am trying to anticipate this scenario and trust she can love her other partner and me.

FWBinIndy
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by FWBinIndy » Wed Mar 04, 2015 5:24 am

He has veto power, no questions asked, over anything - a person, a date, limits, etc.

Safe sex only (unless discussed ahead of time with recent test results)

No overnights (we have young kids and it would be awkward -might change later)

No falling in love (I make a distinct effort not to over-share emotionally so as to avoid getting too attached)

cuckdave11
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by cuckdave11 » Wed Mar 04, 2015 5:32 am

For my wife there are no rules - though maybe sometimes I wish there were!! - whoever, whenever - and with her it's always bareback because that's what she likes. I generally know by her smile when she comes home that she has been fucked. Then we have awesome sex - win all round!

hotwifeluvr
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by hotwifeluvr » Wed Mar 04, 2015 2:04 pm

CuckoldInAZ wrote:I think you are kidding yourself, but if it helps you sleep at night,,,,,, thats all that counts. :up:
While I agree that it is self-delusional, I don't think it is benign. Thinking that you can control these feelings and adjust for them can set you up for a big shocking surprise. Understanding that they are to be expected, and that they are not the same thing as real love, can help you (her) be better prepared for it when it happens. With the "rule" in place, she will be encouraged, without even realizing it, to try to deny that the feelings are happening. It does not mean your wife is not being honest with you if that should happen. It is to be expected! We each make our own choices and live with the consequences. I just hope those who think you can make a rule against falling in love will consider this carefully.

pth33
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by pth33 » Thu Mar 05, 2015 11:42 pm

We have no rules as long as it's safe, fun, and we are 100% honest with each other. I've developed feelings for other men I was sleeping with and continued relationships with a few while still staying madly in love with my husband.
167 and counting :)

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kristin4441
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by kristin4441 » Sat Mar 07, 2015 3:03 am

sandy98 wrote:I voted "No Rules", but the one rule hubby expects is for me not to fall in love enough with my lover that I end up leaving him.
I agree with sandy,you should not be restricted by rules.Nor should you allow him to think your leaving ,communication is very important

sm58
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by sm58 » Sun Mar 08, 2015 11:13 pm

Science indicates that the flush of hormones that are released after good sex ( often called attachment hormones in the scientific literature), figure very largely in the process of falling in love and that while they are elevated in your system for the following 8 to 24 hours you are significantly more vulnerable to falling in love, ..... so our only rule is to spend that post-coital time alone and together and use the post-adventure hormones to renew and replenish OUR love.. Oh and by the way, males are at much higher risk than females from the aforesaid hormones, so even if your hottie has the 'not falling in love thing' together, post-coital time is risky for FB's and Bull's too.

kirksillemale
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by kirksillemale » Fri Mar 13, 2015 5:48 am

when we started this lifestyle 14 years ago we had some rules, not a lot. but now the only rule is whoever she is with must respect her, me and our marriage.

maryann660ac
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by maryann660ac » Wed Aug 24, 2016 4:21 am

you shouldnt have sex with same bull continuously you should have it with oyjers or there is a chance of falling in love

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jw_kk
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by jw_kk » Wed Aug 24, 2016 5:32 am

No "rules" as such, but some general agreements:

- she only plays with healthy partners, screened, with recent, valid STI/STD test results when bareback (sometimes a guideline she fails to follow, but rarely)
- when going solo, she calls to check in for safety

Otherwise, she calls the shots.

bjaficionado
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by bjaficionado » Wed Aug 24, 2016 6:15 am

Surprised/unsurprised at the lack of rules by so many. Most of the rules we have are guidelines for the guys involved, but some are common sense things like letting me know where she is and that she is safe. I doubt I'll ever bend on those. The rest I think just depends on the couple more than anything else. My wife has never been the sort that wants to be wined and dined in any relationship she's had, so I guess that makes things like insisting I'm there for any dinners or out of town visits not much of an issue. But the best I've been able to tell from this forum, she's a bit of an anomaly in that regard.
Here's my story of my wife trying as many dicks as possible.

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Cray-z-dayz
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by Cray-z-dayz » Wed Aug 24, 2016 8:14 am

We don't has a list of rules, per se, but there are some we follow.

No falling in love. Some may say you cannot control this, but Jewel and I feel that is a cop-out. No falling in love means that you monitor your feelings, and stop yourself short if you feel that stronger feelings are developing. Things like limiting contact, reducing texting, and sharing your communications with lovers with your significant other, so that you are more conscious of your emotional state... basically forcing yourself to be more aware of where your head (and your heart) is at. At 50, we believe this is something we can do... we're not love-struck teenagers anymore.

No sleeping over. It goes to the rule above. We feel that unless both of us is sleeping over (e.g. next hotel room), we should always wake up together. Just keeps our closeness between the two of us, but we do allow for the occasional exception. But it doesn't happen unless both of us is likewise 'entertained'. ;)

No real dating. This is not the same as allowing each other to be alone socially with a lover, but I'm referring to romantic dating. Again, it feeds into the first item. Jewel and I are each others love and life; not that we don't care for lovers... but romance is for us, not our playmates. And yes, so far, so good.

-Cray
I never thought my wife could be this wild. I am SO lucky.

Zona

Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by Zona » Wed Aug 24, 2016 8:43 pm

Cray-z-dayz wrote:We don't has a list of rules, per se, but there are some we follow.

No falling in love. Some may say you cannot control this, but Jewel and I feel that is a cop-out. No falling in love means that you monitor your feelings, and stop yourself short if you feel that stronger feelings are developing. Things like limiting contact, reducing texting, and sharing your communications with lovers with your significant other, so that you are more conscious of your emotional state... basically forcing yourself to be more aware of where your head (and your heart) is at. At 50, we believe this is something we can do... we're not love-struck teenagers anymore.

No sleeping over. It goes to the rule above. We feel that unless both of us is sleeping over (e.g. next hotel room), we should always wake up together. Just keeps our closeness between the two of us, but we do allow for the occasional exception. But it doesn't happen unless both of us is likewise 'entertained'. ;)

No real dating. This is not the same as allowing each other to be alone socially with a lover, but I'm referring to romantic dating. Again, it feeds into the first item. Jewel and I are each others love and life; not that we don't care for lovers... but romance is for us, not our playmates. And yes, so far, so good.

-Cray
^^^ This.

Dead solid perfect, Cray!

From reading the various posts on this thread it becomes obvious that different posters have different perspectives on what love is. That's understandable and it certainly explains why some hubbies have no problem with their wife "falling in love". That, I think, is because their conception of love for a BF or FWB is more akin to fondness or a strong "like".

But others view their wives loving their boyfriends to mean something a lot different--something more akin to romantic love, even though it may really be just NRE.

Your rules, Cray, fall almost exactly in line with what Mrs Truckstar, whom I still think is the smartest hotwife to ever grace these pages--certainly the most experienced (GOD, how I miss her!) has stated over and over here. The hotwife must be the gatekeeper to her own emotions, and just as importantly, to the emotions of the BF. When she feels emotions on EITHER of their parts are getting too strong, SHE must be the one to end the relationship.

When are emotions getting too strong? When they start impacting her marriage. That might be as early as the first time she allows herself to put her boyfriend ahead of her husband on ANYTHING, no matter how seemingly trivial. The husband is an equal partner in her adventure, and "The marriage always, ALWAYS, comes first". She might think it is trivial but he oftentimes may not. "I know that we had plans to go to a movie honey, but he invited me to dinner at a really nice restaurant. So what's the problem?" The problem, of course, is that she selfishly put her interests and that of her boyfriend's ahead of her husband. How would she feel if he did that to her?

This is a partnership. This is a partnership. This is a partnership.

Just say "No".

I simply do not believe that a woman does not have enough self-control to "like someone" or "have feelings for someone" without falling in love with them.

The Cray-z-dayz and FWBinIndy couples in my opinion have among the most sensible "rules" I've seen on OHW.

Cray, your last paragraph
Quote - Cray: No real dating. This is not the same as allowing each other to be alone socially with a lover, but I'm referring to romantic dating. Again, it feeds into the first item. Jewel and I are each others love and life; not that we don't care for lovers... but romance is for us, not our playmates.
reminds me of something some very wise husband once said on OHW (sorry, I don't remember who it was so I can't give proper credit). He said "It isn't the time she spends fucking her boyfriend; it is the time they spend together NOT fucking that worries me. That's when they fall in love." In my mind that includes the "romantic dating" Cray mentioned. But it also includes excessive texting, phoning, and even the time cuddling in the afterglow between fucks while waiting for him to recharge.

Happymcshove
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Re: Rules for hotwife ?

Unread post by Happymcshove » Thu Aug 25, 2016 4:15 am

My big one is playmates will always cum in a condom. The GF that just moved to California in June but had hopes of maintaining some relationship with me just broke that rule.

She is coming back here for 5 days to have some dental work finished. She wants to have sex with me but I'm not going to fuck her now that she did that.

We can stay friends bit I don't see anyway we could even be the most casual of playmates anymore.

She's not going to like it but boundaries are boundaries and I told her It's the one thing she could never do and have me.

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