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Unread postPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 10:52 pm 
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I’ve been with my husband for almost 7 years and we’re coming up on our 4th wedding anniversary. For about that whole time I’ve been asking him what his sexual fantasy is and if there was anything he’d like to try in bed. Because I’m a bit adventurous in bed: I’ve encouraged porn, and introduced toys and costumes. But because he considers himself “vanilla” and has been reluctant to role play and try some new positions. Each time I’d ask about his fantasy, he’d say, “you’re kind of kinky and naughty, I don’t need a fantasy.”

I’d all but given up asking him to tell me his fantasy when he, out of the blue, said, “Hey, do you have 10 minutes? I think I’m ready to tell you a fantasy of mine.” I was very excited. But I didn’t expect that he had a slide show of photos/porn to show me what his fantasy was. He told me his fantasy was watching me have sex with another man. This was NOT what I was expecting. I believe my reaction was, “WHAT?!” and my eyes were as big as saucers. The hurt look on his face and his comment, “You asked,” returned me to encouraging HEARING out his fantasy.

He explained the more he thought about it the more he realized his voyeurism – like watching porn. But always thought it would be better if I was the porn star, not the women in it. He researched and found establishments that give erotic massages and allow the husband/partner to watch. I asked him what made him think I’d ever do something like this. He responded, “Well, I thought you’d be down w/ it since you’re so naughty.”

He continued to tell me how thinking and figuring this out really turned him on. In fact, he was hard at this point. At this time I was not thinking this would evolve any more than a fantasy and have enjoyed the past month of almost daily sex. Sometimes 3x a day.

It is evolving. I am seriously considering the erotic massage. But my husband is very accepting of my wanting to take this slowly. And now we’re looking into the possibility of the HotWifing lifestyle. Again, slowly. But I love how this turns my husband on!

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Unread postPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 11:04 pm 
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Welcome to the forum. Nice intro. We also have a ladies only section. If interested see this thread:
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=23464

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Unread postPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 11:10 pm 
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Welcome. Your husband sounds like one of us, just more wary of showing this side of himself (not that we didn't go through that too at times).

Do take him seriously. He will love you more for it. And you should love him for being willing to share you and give you this marvelous opportunity to experience extensive sexual pleasure with multiple partners. He's a keeper.

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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 12:02 am 
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Welcome, and make sure to get verified so you can access he women's only forum. But, your husband sounds like.most of the men I know who have wanted to experience/experienced this lifestyle. If you all decide to go.down the rabbits hole. Make sure to be very open and establish ground rules to ensure both of you enjoy the experience. I wish you all the best of luck in whatever decision you all choose.

:-)


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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 12:50 am 
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Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2007 3:19 pm
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You stated, "But always thought it would be better if I was the porn star..."

That hit the nail on the head for me... He has exactly the same perception that I have. I can go look at porn and admire pretty women... but after a short while I get bored and head on over to my wife's folder in our computer. While my collection is not massive by any means, but it is an adrenaline rush to hear or see her play with other men... over and over... I never get's old. I do crave for something new... but she decides when to spoil me and on her terms and conditions. We are at a low point right now with graduations, life etc..., but she always picks back up. Her sexuality has exploded. I ALWAYS have told her, when she wants to stop... she can decide when. Make sure you are willing to do this for yourself as well, not just to please him. That makes it even better!

Your sex life will change forever. You may be exhausted when you get home, but expect your husband to jump you immediately.

Best of luck and hopefully we can answer your questions.


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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 1:34 am 
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zorro wrote:
Welcome. Your husband sounds like one of us, just more wary of showing this side of himself (not that we didn't go through that too at times).

Do take him seriously. He will love you more for it. And you should love him for being willing to share you and give you this marvelous opportunity to experience extensive sexual pleasure with multiple partners. He's a keeper.

He is a keeper! I'm very lucky to have a partner who treats me well and often tells me how beautiful I am, even when I don't feel it. My husband is very analytical and always needs time to "wrap his head around" ideas/actions. But I'm so very happy he finally explored his own desires and shared them. Now it's my turn to "wrap my mind around" this. Just talking about it has been exciting.

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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 1:39 am 
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jakeandjill wrote:
Welcome, and make sure to get verified so you can access he women's only forum. But, your husband sounds like.most of the men I know who have wanted to experience/experienced this lifestyle. If you all decide to go.down the rabbits hole. Make sure to be very open and establish ground rules to ensure both of you enjoy the experience. I wish you all the best of luck in whatever decision you all choose.

:-)

Thank you for the encouragement. And, yes, sent off my photo assignment this evening. :D We've been discussing, if we do go through with this, what our expectations and parameters/rules would be so that we both get the most out of this.

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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 1:53 am 
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lat wrote:
You stated, "But always thought it would be better if I was the porn star..."

That hit the nail on the head for me... He has exactly the same perception that I have. I can go look at porn and admire pretty women... but after a short while I get bored and head on over to my wife's folder in our computer. While my collection is not massive by any means, but it is an adrenaline rush to hear or see her play with other men... over and over... I never get's old. I do crave for something new... but she decides when to spoil me and on her terms and conditions. We are at a low point right now with graduations, life etc..., but she always picks back up. Her sexuality has exploded. I ALWAYS have told her, when she wants to stop... she can decide when. Make sure you are willing to do this for yourself as well, not just to please him. That makes it even better!

Your sex life will change forever. You may be exhausted when you get home, but expect your husband to jump you immediately.

Best of luck and hopefully we can answer your questions.

Funny that you mention your wife's folder. Now that he's opened up about his fantasies, we've taken a couple naughty photos recently. I've suggested it in the past, but he never wanted to go though with it, till now. And while they are for us only (I'm not ready to share photos yet), I loved how it excited him. And it will be fun to have another "photo shoot" again. Our sex life has been AWESOME this past month. And he's even role playing now too. It's been very exciting!

I'm encouraged by your honestly and acceptance of your wife's comfort. And hope life makes time for the two of you to play again soon. And what sound advise, yes - when I'm ready to go through with this it will be just as much for me as it is for him. To be honest, this did start out by wanting to please him. But the more we talk about it, the more it excites me too. How wonderful to share something so intimate with the one person who I love and adore! And loves and adores me just as much, if not more.

Thank you again :D

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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 2:30 am 
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It was me that suggested this lifestyle to my husband many years ago. It hasn't always been plain sailing but sex after 31 years together is hot, fresh and exciting.

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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 9:16 am 
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That's great news that you finally found out about his fantasy!

I can remember being so nervous about explaining myself to my girlfriend at the time that I didn't mind her "history" rather I wanted her to make more! It's a really crazy thing to try to explain to someone because it can go 1 or 2 ways. You can either have everything you have ever wanted with the person you care about most or they will reject it and not go with it and you'll lose them.

Great for him to tell you and great for you for encouraging it! Hotwives have the best of it all they have a husband who loves them and encourages them to have great sex! It does great things for your sex life too! :D


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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 10:22 am 
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MrsTruckstar wrote:
It was me that suggested this lifestyle to my husband many years ago. It hasn't always been plain sailing but sex after 31 years together is hot, fresh and exciting.

That's awesome. If you don't mind, how old were you when you suggested this to your husband and began having sex w/ other men? You can PM if you'd rather not post your age in the forum. Thank you for the encouragement.

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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 8:25 pm 
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Husbands Kandi wrote:
MrsTruckstar wrote:
It was me that suggested this lifestyle to my husband many years ago. It hasn't always been plain sailing but sex after 31 years together is hot, fresh and exciting.

That's awesome. If you don't mind, how old were you when you suggested this to your husband and began having sex w/ other men? You can PM if you'd rather not post your age in the forum. Thank you for the encouragement.
I was 24.

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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 8:43 pm 
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This is one thread that I am going to follow. I love the way you're approaching this situation and I can only tell you that is has been the most wonderful and exciting journey for my wife and I.

It took me many years to ask her and 8 more before she took the plunge. Since then we have enjoyed an exciting time. I love seeing her with her BF.

Understanding and talking about expectations is vital and if you do that you will have a less bumpy ride. For me, I have not set any rules or conditions. She is free to do what she wants with whom she wants and when she wants. This is part of the excitement for me.

However, she is the type of woman that needs an emotional attachment before sex is enjoyable so she has settled on having a BF. He is a regular visitor in our home and he is welcome at any time. Again, no rules and this has worked out very well indeed.

Best of luck to you both. :up:


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 Post subject: Re:
Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 9:36 pm 
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rw147 wrote:
That's great news that you finally found out about his fantasy!

I can remember being so nervous about explaining myself to my girlfriend at the time that I didn't mind her "history" rather I wanted her to make more! It's a really crazy thing to try to explain to someone because it can go 1 or 2 ways. You can either have everything you have ever wanted with the person you care about most or they will reject it and not go with it and you'll lose them.

Great for him to tell you and great for you for encouraging it! Hotwives have the best of it all they have a husband who loves them and encourages them to have great sex! It does great things for your sex life too! :D

Thanks. It's funny, b/c he's never been interested in hearing about my previous relationships. Even now he's not that much interested in hearing about past sexual encounters. Like you, he's more interested in "wanting to make more history," or rather watching me make that "history," :D Even now we're talking about how secure we are in our relationship/marriage to be able discuss this (he's not worried about me leaving him - I'd be crazy to do so, he's absolutely wonderful) and possibly pursue it.

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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 9:44 pm 
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alan137 wrote:
This is one thread that I am going to follow. I love the way you're approaching this situation and I can only tell you that is has been the most wonderful and exciting journey for my wife and I.

It took me many years to ask her and 8 more before she took the plunge. Since then we have enjoyed an exciting time. I love seeing her with her BF.

Understanding and talking about expectations is vital and if you do that you will have a less bumpy ride. For me, I have not set any rules or conditions. She is free to do what she wants with whom she wants and when she wants. This is part of the excitement for me.

However, she is the type of woman that needs an emotional attachment before sex is enjoyable so she has settled on having a BF. He is a regular visitor in our home and he is welcome at any time. Again, no rules and this has worked out very well indeed.

Best of luck to you both. :up:

Yes, we have been talking about expectations. And that's a better way to put it, b/c we're not so sure if "rules" is the right way to approach this. My husband laughs and said, "I've never be able to make rules for you anyway, you do what you like." But this is way different than anything we've ever done before. It's going to be an interesting journey together, that's for sure!!!

We'll keep you posted :D

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 Post subject: Re: Re:
Unread postPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:28 am 
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Husbands Kandi wrote:
rw147 wrote:
That's great news that you finally found out about his fantasy!

I can remember being so nervous about explaining myself to my girlfriend at the time that I didn't mind her "history" rather I wanted her to make more! It's a really crazy thing to try to explain to someone because it can go 1 or 2 ways. You can either have everything you have ever wanted with the person you care about most or they will reject it and not go with it and you'll lose them.

Great for him to tell you and great for you for encouraging it! Hotwives have the best of it all they have a husband who loves them and encourages them to have great sex! It does great things for your sex life too! :D

Thanks. It's funny, b/c he's never been interested in hearing about my previous relationships. Even now he's not that much interested in hearing about past sexual encounters. Like you, he's more interested in "wanting to make more history," or rather watching me make that "history," :D Even now we're talking about how secure we are in our relationship/marriage to be able discuss this (he's not worried about me leaving him - I'd be crazy to do so, he's absolutely wonderful) and possibly pursue it.


I was quite the opposite :lol:

Once Cassie and I had "The Talk" I couldn't get enough about asking her about her history. She got off on how much it got me off and we just went from there.


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Unread postPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2015 8:30 am 
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MrsTruckstar wrote:
Husbands Kandi wrote:
MrsTruckstar wrote:
It was me that suggested this lifestyle to my husband many years ago. It hasn't always been plain sailing but sex after 31 years together is hot, fresh and exciting.

That's awesome. If you don't mind, how old were you when you suggested this to your husband and began having sex w/ other men? You can PM if you'd rather not post your age in the forum. Thank you for the encouragement.
I was 24.


Mrs Truckstar's "suggesting to her husband" was like saying all Neil Armstrong did was take a little walk, Mozart dabbled in piano or Picasso did some art. It has to go down as one of the most epic Hotwifing beginnings of all time.


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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:30 pm 
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Since my first post, as many of you can imagine, hotwifing has been a daily conversation. In and out of the bedroom. ;)

As I said previously, we’re talking this slowly, but are moving in the direction of an erotic massage. In less than two weeks we’ll be out of town, on a weeks’ vacation. We’ve (or rather, my husband did all the leg work) researched and found an established gentleman who gives tantric massages and have scheduled a meeting with him. Now, don’t get too excited yet, I will not be receiving my first erotic massage this month. I want to discuss expectations and understand what to expect. However, to my husband’s delight, the plan is to receive the sensual massage before the end of the year, as a birthday gift he will give me. What a birthday gift that will be. My wonderful husband watching me being sexually pleasured by another man. Sometimes I think “I’m out of my mind.” Other times I think, “Holly shit this is hot!”

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Unread postPosted: Tue Aug 04, 2015 12:26 am 
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Take it slow jumping into the reality. But that doesn't mean you can't have a lot of fun with it until that happens.

Tell him about guys you find sexy. If you have names, all the better. Like the cute guy stocking the produce, or helping you with something at Home Depot. Get his name, and refer to him during sex. Ask your husband things like, do you think "Steve" has a nice cock? Do you think he'd want to fuck me with it? Show me how Steve will fuck me. What do you think he'd do if I . . .

Go out, with a female friend, or alone, without your husband. Whether you actually meet and flirt with guys or not, send him texts saying that guys are flirting with you. Tel him one of them is really making you wet, and ask what you should do if he makes a move on you. Tell him you think it might happen tonight, but that you're nervous and not sure. What does he think? Ask him, "What if I just give him a handjob in his truck?" "Would it be OK if I suck him a little bit too, or let him touch my pussy?" "Oh baby, I'm soooooo wet right now! Are you sure you are OK with this?"

Before you come back in the house, peel off your hose and panties and hide them in your purse and muss your hair. When you get inside, be coy about it, then rather than tell him what you did (or didn't do), put his hand there and let him feel how wet you are. Maybe even put a little KY or something to make it ridiculously wet. I don't advocate lying, even to please him. But you can tease the hell out of him saying things like, "Oh my gawd I am such a slut!"

At some point, you'll have to be honest and admit you didn't do it, to keep things on the up and up between you. But to make it hot, it's important to make it feel real, and not like "just a fantasy." How to do that without lying? Easy. When you have to eventually admit that nothing happened, say "No, it didn't happen. But I was ready for it. There just wasn't anyone that I felt really good about. And "Jane" was with me, so I had to kind of behave." Another good thing to offer is to say "It will happen. I don't know when, but it will happen. But it has to be the right guy, at the right time and place. But it will happen. Your naughty wife is going to fuck someone else. There's no turning back now!"

This kind of play not only makes for hot and exciting fun for you both, it also gives you both an opportunity to explore the aftermath of feelings. After orgasm, men often feel different. Be alert for that, and prepared to change gears if he feels angst after orgasm. If and when it happens for real, it will be his responsibility to manage that for himself, at least in the immediate aftermath, as you will be dealing with your own roller coaster of emotion.


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Unread postPosted: Tue Aug 04, 2015 9:28 am 
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Husbands Kandi wrote:
I’ve been with my husband for almost 7 years and we’re coming up on our 4th wedding anniversary. For about that whole time I’ve been asking him what his sexual fantasy is and if there was anything he’d like to try in bed. Because I’m a bit adventurous in bed: I’ve encouraged porn, and introduced toys and costumes. But because he considers himself “vanilla” and has been reluctant to role play and try some new positions. Each time I’d ask about his fantasy, he’d say, “you’re kind of kinky and naughty, I don’t need a fantasy.”

I’d all but given up asking him to tell me his fantasy when he, out of the blue, said, “Hey, do you have 10 minutes? I think I’m ready to tell you a fantasy of mine.” I was very excited. But I didn’t expect that he had a slide show of photos/porn to show me what his fantasy was. He told me his fantasy was watching me have sex with another man. This was NOT what I was expecting. I believe my reaction was, “WHAT?!” and my eyes were as big as saucers. The hurt look on his face and his comment, “You asked,” returned me to encouraging HEARING out his fantasy.

He explained the more he thought about it the more he realized his voyeurism – like watching porn. But always thought it would be better if I was the porn star, not the women in it. He researched and found establishments that give erotic massages and allow the husband/partner to watch. I asked him what made him think I’d ever do something like this. He responded, “Well, I thought you’d be down w/ it since you’re so naughty.”

He continued to tell me how thinking and figuring this out really turned him on. In fact, he was hard at this point. At this time I was not thinking this would evolve any more than a fantasy and have enjoyed the past month of almost daily sex. Sometimes 3x a day.

It is evolving. I am seriously considering the erotic massage. But my husband is very accepting of my wanting to take this slowly. And now we’re looking into the possibility of the HotWifing lifestyle. Again, slowly. But I love how this turns my husband on!


I had lightly told my wife for a couple years and she always said, "No your crazy!" Well after we were together for 6 years and around our 3rd Wedding Anniversary, it happened. Hold onto your pants (or don't!) when it does, it will be a fun and wild ride for you both!

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Unread postPosted: Tue Aug 04, 2015 10:36 am 
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Husbands Kandi wrote:
Since my first post, as many of you can imagine, hotwifing has been a daily conversation. In and out of the bedroom. ;)

As I said previously, we’re talking this slowly, but are moving in the direction of an erotic massage. In less than two weeks we’ll be out of town, on a weeks’ vacation. We’ve (or rather, my husband did all the leg work) researched and found an established gentleman who gives tantric massages and have scheduled a meeting with him. Now, don’t get too excited yet, I will not be receiving my first erotic massage this month. I want to discuss expectations and understand what to expect. However, to my husband’s delight, the plan is to receive the sensual massage before the end of the year, as a birthday gift he will give me. What a birthday gift that will be. My wonderful husband watching me being sexually pleasured by another man. Sometimes I think “I’m out of my mind.” Other times I think, “Holly shit this is hot!”

Sounds like a great birthday gift. I am also sure once you get past the doubts it will be a wonderful experience for you and your husband.


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Unread postPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 11:13 pm 
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hotwifeluvr wrote:
Take it slow jumping into the reality. But that doesn't mean you can't have a lot of fun with it until that happens.

Tell him about guys you find sexy. If you have names, all the better. Like the cute guy stocking the produce, or helping you with something at Home Depot. Get his name, and refer to him during sex. Ask your husband things like, do you think "Steve" has a nice cock? Do you think he'd want to fuck me with it? Show me how Steve will fuck me. What do you think he'd do if I . . .

Go out, with a female friend, or alone, without your husband. Whether you actually meet and flirt with guys or not, send him texts saying that guys are flirting with you. Tel him one of them is really making you wet, and ask what you should do if he makes a move on you. Tell him you think it might happen tonight, but that you're nervous and not sure. What does he think? Ask him, "What if I just give him a handjob in his truck?" "Would it be OK if I suck him a little bit too, or let him touch my pussy?" "Oh baby, I'm soooooo wet right now! Are you sure you are OK with this?"

Before you come back in the house, peel off your hose and panties and hide them in your purse and muss your hair. When you get inside, be coy about it, then rather than tell him what you did (or didn't do), put his hand there and let him feel how wet you are. Maybe even put a little KY or something to make it ridiculously wet. I don't advocate lying, even to please him. But you can tease the hell out of him saying things like, "Oh my gawd I am such a slut!"

At some point, you'll have to be honest and admit you didn't do it, to keep things on the up and up between you. But to make it hot, it's important to make it feel real, and not like "just a fantasy." How to do that without lying? Easy. When you have to eventually admit that nothing happened, say "No, it didn't happen. But I was ready for it. There just wasn't anyone that I felt really good about. And "Jane" was with me, so I had to kind of behave." Another good thing to offer is to say "It will happen. I don't know when, but it will happen. But it has to be the right guy, at the right time and place. But it will happen. Your naughty wife is going to fuck someone else. There's no turning back now!"

This kind of play not only makes for hot and exciting fun for you both, it also gives you both an opportunity to explore the aftermath of feelings. After orgasm, men often feel different. Be alert for that, and prepared to change gears if he feels angst after orgasm. If and when it happens for real, it will be his responsibility to manage that for himself, at least in the immediate aftermath, as you will be dealing with your own roller coaster of emotion.

Thank you hotwifelover. I think we’re taking it slow and trying to just take it all in. But yes, we are having a blast right now. Just talking about the prospect of another man fucking me is exciting enough to get my husband in the mood. And we loved your post. I’ve actually been making up fantasies kind of on the fly to rile him up for playtime. I’ve created a few “characters” and based some of them on interactions we’ve had with real people. Just this week I made up a story about having to fly across country to my company’s home office for “training.” Husband has suggested I post it for everyone’s enjoyment here. I’ll tweak it and maybe share… And other men hitting on me in reality right now makes my husband SOOO happy.

But I definitely want to work in your suggestion in order to see how we handle the emotional rollercoaster. Thanks again!

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Unread postPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 11:16 pm 
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lilboy wrote:

I had lightly told my wife for a couple years and she always said, "No your crazy!" Well after we were together for 6 years and around our 3rd Wedding Anniversary, it happened. Hold onto your pants (or don't!) when it does, it will be a fun and wild ride for you both!

:D

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Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2015 5:03 pm 
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Update:

On Tuesday we met with the erotic massage therapist (we’ll refer to him as J). I must say, I don’t think I was truly excited till now! :D Not only is J easy on the eyes, but he seems very passionate. He talked about how he has sex differently than other people (what?) that he’ll make a spiritual/erotic connection with me, rather than fucking me (oh, oh I like that). I think this will be a most enjoyable first experience ;)

He seemed more concerned about what I wanted to get out of this experience, other than “doing this for Husband.” Which was surprisingly harder to answer than I thought it was. I love how this turns Husband on… I love that we’re having more sex… I don’t want an emotional attachment to anyone other than Husband, it’s just sex… Ultimately, I’m not going to let anyone control my sexuality but me. And any woman who says she’s never fantasized about having sex w/ someone other than her partner is a liar. Same goes for women who say they’ve never fantasized about having sex w/ 2 men…liar. So by fulfilling Husband’s fantasy we’ll evolve into fulfilling mine.

After the meeting Husband was aroused and jealous (in a good way). And I took full advantage of him! I repeated what J described would be the basic flow of “the session” and added how I would feel and how I think J will feel. Once we got back to our room Husband felt the need to reclaim me. Again the next morning! And again the next evening! Basically we’ve been having amazing sex twice a day since. Gotta love vacation!
:mrgreen:

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Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2015 5:16 pm 
2 Bit Whore

Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2012 7:35 am
Posts: 1299
Husbands Kandi wrote:

He seemed more concerned about what I wanted to get out of this experience, other than “doing this for Husband.” Which was surprisingly harder to answer than I thought it was. I love how this turns Husband on… I love that we’re having more sex…


Dear Husbands Kandi,

Have you concidered the possibility that the best way to make Your husband happy is for You to focus on having a wonderful sexual experience for yourself?

I think that, on some level, most of us cuckolds/Wannabe cuckolds first and foremost wants to witness the Ladies we love have wonderful sex with someone else, and then somehow reconnect with our belowed Lady and be made to feel that we are the ones who are truly loved even if someone else may provide the Lady with a sexual experience beyond our reach.

Thanks for sharing Your experience, please continue to post.

Sincerely
elina


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