From Considering To Being Truly A Hot Wife

For hotwives and the men who adore them.
Mrs E

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by Mrs E » Fri Aug 21, 2015 1:20 pm

Husbands Kandi wrote:Update:

On Tuesday we met with the erotic massage therapist (we’ll refer to him as J). I must say, I don’t think I was truly excited till now! :D Not only is J easy on the eyes, but he seems very passionate. He talked about how he has sex differently than other people (what?) that he’ll make a spiritual/erotic connection with me, rather than fucking me (oh, oh I like that). I think this will be a most enjoyable first experience ;)

He seemed more concerned about what I wanted to get out of this experience, other than “doing this for Husband.” Which was surprisingly harder to answer than I thought it was. I love how this turns Husband on… I love that we’re having more sex… I don’t want an emotional attachment to anyone other than Husband, it’s just sex… Ultimately, I’m not going to let anyone control my sexuality but me. And any woman who says she’s never fantasized about having sex w/ someone other than her partner is a liar. Same goes for women who say they’ve never fantasized about having sex w/ 2 men…liar. So by fulfilling Husband’s fantasy we’ll evolve into fulfilling mine.

After the meeting Husband was aroused and jealous (in a good way). And I took full advantage of him! I repeated what J described would be the basic flow of “the session” and added how I would feel and how I think J will feel. Once we got back to our room Husband felt the need to reclaim me. Again the next morning! And again the next evening! Basically we’ve been having amazing sex twice a day since. Gotta love vacation!
:mrgreen:
Wow, that sounds like a great introduction. I am glad your potential first extra partner focused on your pleasure. However you choose to do hotwifing, it is first and foremost about that -- your pleasure. As you get going in this lifestyle, should you guys choose to continue, you'll figure out more of what you want to get out of it.

Also, realize, as you must as it's obvious you have read a lot on here, the transition from fantasy to reality may be quite jarring for your husband. Both of you should be prepared for this, and make sure you have time to process your feelings, and not just in bed. this is particularly true if there are some negative ones. But it sounds like you have a very strong marriage, so you should both be able to deal with whatever comes up.

And, please let us know how it goes!
Last edited by Mrs E on Mon Aug 24, 2015 12:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

Husbands Kandi

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by Husbands Kandi » Sat Aug 22, 2015 4:29 pm

elina wrote:
Husbands Kandi wrote:
He seemed more concerned about what I wanted to get out of this experience, other than “doing this for Husband.” Which was surprisingly harder to answer than I thought it was. I love how this turns Husband on… I love that we’re having more sex…
Dear Husbands Kandi,

Have you concidered the possibility that the best way to make Your husband happy is for You to focus on having a wonderful sexual experience for yourself?

I think that, on some level, most of us cuckolds/Wannabe cuckolds first and foremost wants to witness the Ladies we love have wonderful sex with someone else, and then somehow reconnect with our belowed Lady and be made to feel that we are the ones who are truly loved even if someone else may provide the Lady with a sexual experience beyond our reach.

Thanks for sharing Your experience, please continue to post.

Sincerely
elina
Hi elina,

Thanks for your post. Yes, I have I have considered this – actually it’s come up in many of our conversations but I don’t think I quite made that connection till now. And my processing of this may take on more shape as we discuss this further. I think our expectations have evolved since the first time Husband shared his fantasy with me. From me receiving a sexual massage, to watching me having sex w/ another man, but he’s always said he wants me to see myself as he sees me: beautiful and a goddess. For some of us women, this is a harder concept to wrap our head around than having sex w/ another man. And while we’re not of the cuckold persuasion, you are 100% correct: he wants to see me have wonderful sexual experiences and to reconnect after/affirming how much he loves me.

I’ll certainly continue to post. Thanks again!!

Husbands Kandi

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by Husbands Kandi » Sat Aug 22, 2015 4:41 pm

Mrs E wrote:
Wow, that sounds like a great introduction. I am glad your potential first extra partner focused on your pleasure. However you choose to do hotwifing, it is first and foremost about that -- your pleasure. As you get going in this lifestyle, should you guys choose to continue, you'll figure out more of what you want to get out of it.

Also, realize, as you must as its obvious you have read a lot on here, the transition from fantasy to reality may be quite jarring for your husband. Both of you should be prepared for this, and make sure you have time to process your feelings, and not just in bed. this is particularly true if there are some negative ones. But it sounds like you have a very strong marriage, so you should both be able to deal with whatever comes up.

And, please let us know how it goes!
Hello Mrs. E!! Love hearing from you!!

Even though I’ve read that hotwifing is more about the wife than the husband, I don’t think it really clicked w/ me till we met w/ J. I think the past 2 months I’ve been focused on what Husband is getting out of this. This was all started by him, after all. And I’ve loved how turned on we both get talking about it. But this week I’ve been EVEN MORE turned on about it. Thinking much about how this is/will excite me and (we’ve been having sex twice a day since meeting w/ J!!!)

The fantasy topic… we’ve talked about A LOT! In and out of bed (basically anywhere we are when others are not around). We’ve read multiple posts about how the real thing will be different than our fantasies. I’ve batted around “my best expectation” to “what if it’s really bad sex?” And possible scenarios of how we think we’ll handle the difference of fantasy vs. reality. From, “what will Husband do if I back out/don’t go through w/ the sex…” to “what will Husband do if I REALLY enjoy it and make ALL the same pleasure sounds (okay, let’s be honest, I can be loud and am a bit of a screamer) I make when I have sex w/ Husband?” In fact we discussed a post where the husband freaked out while watching his wife and bull fucking by leaving the room. And while I want to be sensitive to Husband’s feelings, he knows that would make me feel awful. And I would like him to maintain his composure till after and discuss it.

We’ve also decided that we’d like to have a few days alone together after “the first time.” So that we have time to process the experience AND enjoy one another. In fact, even J encouraged it.

Thank you for mentioning our strong marriage. J also noted this and said he could tell how much Husband loved me by how caring he looked at me (we’ve heard that before… gives me goose bumps).

I will absolutely keep you all posted. I’m just not sure if I’ll be able to wait till my birthday now!!
;)

hiker
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Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by hiker » Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:37 pm

As a starting point have you told him about any past experiences?

Husbands Kandi

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by Husbands Kandi » Sun Aug 23, 2015 8:44 pm

hiker wrote:As a starting point have you told him about any past experiences?
I’ve only recently started to tell Husband specifics about past sexual encounters/partners since the whole hotwifing thing started. He’s never been interested before and has only gotten vague details in the past, like having sex in a public hot tub or in the bathroom at a concert (this was when I was in my 20s) but nothing like I’m telling him now. He’s done well so far. Not too jealous, a little turned on.

Mark K

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by Mark K » Sun Aug 23, 2015 9:09 pm

A wonderful story so far!

54321
OHW Addict
Posts: 3195
Joined: Sun Sep 16, 2007 11:31 pm

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by 54321 » Tue Aug 25, 2015 7:03 am

I'm loving this thread. Hotwifing is obviously about sex,
but much more important, it's about love.

It's clear that you love each other which indicates that
developing into a hot wife relationship will probably
work well for you both.

Every good wish,

54321

Husbands Kandi

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by Husbands Kandi » Tue Aug 25, 2015 8:01 pm

Thank you Mark K and 54321!! We do like each other, a LOT!!! :D

Robrt
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Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by Robrt » Fri Aug 28, 2015 3:33 am

Very interesting...thanks for the posting...this helps in answering questions that we have about possibly getting started.

Husbands Kandi

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by Husbands Kandi » Fri Sep 11, 2015 2:48 pm

Robrt – Thanks! Glad we could help in our early stage here.

DrEvil – Great suggestion w/ the link in the signature. Thanks for checking our out story too!

OneVividImagination
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Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by OneVividImagination » Sat Sep 12, 2015 9:43 am

Just catching up with this thread! What an exciting start Kandi! Really enjoyed reading about your journey so far!

jaynjoy2
Experienced
Posts: 118
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2015 12:50 pm

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by jaynjoy2 » Sat Sep 12, 2015 1:15 pm

Thank you for posting here to let us see this startup from the lady's point of view.

Husbands Kandi

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by Husbands Kandi » Sun Sep 13, 2015 9:49 am

OVI - Thank you so much! We're kind of at a pause right now-my first time is scheduled a couple months out :cry:

JJ2 - You're very welcome. :) So happy to be able to contribute, even though I don't know anything other than my own thoughts :lol: BTW - your in the Midwest? I'm originally from the Midwest :mrgreen:

~HK
Last edited by Husbands Kandi on Wed Sep 16, 2015 10:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

AsianWife40
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Posts: 115
Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 11:00 am
Location: USA

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by AsianWife40 » Tue Sep 15, 2015 2:16 am

Kandi - It's a hot story which I'm sure many other wives have experienced before finally taking the plunge!

Have you got the massage arranged yet? ;-)

Husbands Kandi

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by Husbands Kandi » Wed Sep 16, 2015 8:24 pm

Thanks DrEvil! The massage is not planned till December – for my birthday. But now it seems SOOOOO long away! :(
Photos…um, not sure. But Husband (Kentros) does have me in my bra as his avatar. I guess that’s a start. Something we definitely need to work on and post.



AsianWife – Thanks!!!! We met with the gentleman who will perform the tantric massage last month. The plan all along has been for it to be my 40th birthday present from Husband. And to give me time to “wrap my head around” the idea of having sex w/ another man. Well, I don’t really think I need that much time. But b/c this guy is in another city, we don’t have time to plan another trip between now and December. So it is what it is. Who knows, maybe something unexpected will pop up ;)

jaynjoy2
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Posts: 118
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2015 12:50 pm

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by jaynjoy2 » Thu Sep 17, 2015 4:58 pm

In answer to your question about location, yes, we are both from the Midwest. We grew up within 140 miles of where we live today, but have lived in many places. We came back to this area partly because of family, and also because of some things we just like about being here. I once thought I would live in the mountains, but that never really happened. We've lived on the Gulf Coast, Atlantic Coast in Florida, an Island in the Med., and briefly on an island in the Pacific. But never in the mountains.

As for avatars, I sometimes find the provocative pose is better than the blatantly exposed. Perhaps you can think about possibly teasing us a little when the time comes that you want to post something. I'm thinking you could do that very well.

Husbands Kandi

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by Husbands Kandi » Sat Sep 19, 2015 8:25 pm

jaynjoy2 wrote:As for avatars, I sometimes find the provocative pose is better than the blatantly exposed. Perhaps you can think about possibly teasing us a little when the time comes that you want to post something. I'm thinking you could do that very well.
Thanks for the pose idea and encouragement.

We've been talking a lot about taking pictures for the forum... so suggestions of what you all want to see are welcomed.

What poses do husbands like of their wives best?

elina

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by elina » Sun Sep 20, 2015 9:53 am

Husbands Kandi wrote: Thanks for the pose idea and encouragement.

We've been talking a lot about taking pictures for the forum... so suggestions of what you all want to see are welcomed.

What poses do husbands like of their wives best?
Thank You Husbands Kandi,

Preferred poses, how about

a picture taken from behind and with a low perspective, as if Your husband is on the floor while taking the picture, preferably with You wearing Your Highest heels,
either nude behind, a very thight set of pants or a very short skirt.

Another one showing you neck and cleavage as you are leaning forward.

Sincerely
elina

jaynjoy2
Experienced
Posts: 118
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2015 12:50 pm

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by jaynjoy2 » Mon Sep 21, 2015 4:38 pm

There are some very nice avatars here. As far as the non-photo type, you have one of the best, so you know how to get attention without being overboard.
Look at what others have and see what interests you. One is a photo of crossed ankles in a nice pair of shoes, another has panties around one ankle, I recall seeing one on another site that was a profile shot of a ladies crossed legs in a short skirt, and last, an unbuttoned shirt slightly opened, no bra, but only the slightest amount of her bosom showing. All of them communicate a sexiness without exposing the prize that the fortunate few get to see or touch.

Others may prefer the wide open shots, but I prefer those type photos as part of the playing scene, not the avatar.

I've expressed only one opinion, and we men are more varied on this type thing than some may imagine.

Husbands Kandi

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by Husbands Kandi » Tue Sep 22, 2015 8:29 pm

Elina…Thank you for the ideas. We’ve had very busy schedules recently and plan on a “photo shoot” soon. I especially like the neck and cleavage/leaning forward one. I’ve also been looking at the other wives’ posts to get ideas there. We’ll see, makes me just a little nervous. Hope you all like me just as much when you SEE me as you have while READING me :D

Jaynjoy2… that’s so kind! Thank you. Just the kind of compliment I needed today. (been under the weather w/ a sinus infection :cry: ). I was not comfortable posting a portion of my body as my avatar, yet I let Husband/Kentros. Go figure. I searched for some time for a red head w/ blue eyes (had to settle on green) fair skin, decent breasts, but NOT skinny! Had to settle on that one too, lol. And what you see is the result. I very much like the idea of the unbuttoned shirt. I love that many of you guys like the “less is more.”

Husband and I also have to decide if we are going to distort my tattoos or not, some or all. I only have 3 but one is on my boob and doesn’t make much sense to anyone till I explain what it represents. :?: :?: :?:

jaynjoy2
Experienced
Posts: 118
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2015 12:50 pm

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by jaynjoy2 » Wed Sep 23, 2015 4:45 pm

You're welcome.

I think that I would blur anything that could be used to identify me. Many tats are very unique and with the photo matching software today, anything with unique characteristics can be used to identify people.

Husbands Kandi

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by Husbands Kandi » Wed Sep 30, 2015 7:54 pm

Okay, as discussed and requested… Husband and I agreed on a few photos to post in the Hotties forum. It’s just a start. And I’m sure they will get better, sexier/naughtier, once I actually start to play.

We hope you enjoy them.
:oops:

MrsG
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Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by MrsG » Fri Oct 02, 2015 2:46 am

When my husband first suggested this concept, I must admit, I was somewhat hurt and confused.
Then he went on to explain his feelings...He loves and adores me and wants me to be Happy and Satisfied. He is voyeuristic by nature, and enjoys seeing me in the throes of passion. (the watching porn analogy was spot on for him). Also, He recognizes that I still have lingering self image issues as a non-reconstructed Breast Cancer survivor. he wanted me to understand that I am still beautiful and desirable, and not just in his biased eyes.
It took months of discussion and encouragement, but when our first "adventure" became a reality ... suffice it to say, it was mind blowing for both of us. In a VERY good way.

malzy567
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Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by malzy567 » Fri Oct 02, 2015 5:50 pm

I couldn't agree more with the rest of the gang !!

Husbands Kandi

Re: Considering Becoming A Hotwife

Unread post by Husbands Kandi » Sat Oct 03, 2015 7:35 am

MrsG wrote:When my husband first suggested this concept, I must admit, I was somewhat hurt and confused.
Then he went on to explain his feelings...He loves and adores me and wants me to be Happy and Satisfied. He is voyeuristic by nature, and enjoys seeing me in the throes of passion. (the watching porn analogy was spot on for him). Also, He recognizes that I still have lingering self image issues as a non-reconstructed Breast Cancer survivor. he wanted me to understand that I am still beautiful and desirable, and not just in his biased eyes.
It took months of discussion and encouragement, but when our first "adventure" became a reality ... suffice it to say, it was mind blowing for both of us. In a VERY good way.
MrsG,
Thank you so much for the post. I hope you’ll consider become a verified hotwife. The Ladies Lounge has been a great place for support. I hope you’re in good health and feeling invincible and beautiful! :D

I think we’d all like to hear about your adventures in hotwifing!! Will you start a thread? When was the first “adventure” and how long have you been in the life style? Looking forward to hearing more from you!!!!! :cool:
~HK

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