Just Beginning

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Mlghten
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Just Beginning

Unread post by Mlghten » Fri Feb 10, 2017 3:48 am

This is my very first post so bear with me. I have been reading a great deal about hotwifing and the thought of my wife experiencing the best of both worlds is my ultimate goal. We have a terrific relationship, however, our vanilla sexual relationship is not cutting it for either of us. We are very conservative but I think she knows we are lacking something. The thought of her with another man excites me to no end. Just thinking of her obtaining the ultimate sexual experience and sharing it with me has been on my mind for over a year. She is beautiful and I'm looking for solid advice on where to go from hear. Over the last year I have helped her dress sexier and her appearance has not gone unnoticed.

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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by allengt » Fri Feb 10, 2017 12:10 pm

Welcome to the forum. This was posted in the hotties without pictures attached. Moving to the Hotwife forum.
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D_Lited_HubWife
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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by D_Lited_HubWife » Fri Feb 10, 2017 3:21 pm

Hello, and welcome to the neighborhood! There is a great deal of good advice on here. Not to many stories from about every which angle. I would suggest reading through some of those on here, not that your story is going to work out like theirs, but some good pointers you can pick up. I would also recommend checking out the cuckold consultant. Really good stuff there as well. You seem to further ahead than me, so wishing you both the best in your journey!

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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by sherulestherooster » Fri Feb 10, 2017 4:23 pm

What does SHE think? I would categorize ourselves as "conservative", and it took years for my wife to be on board. I think the consensus would be not to rush and go at her own pace, and to communicate. "Her appearance has not gone unnoticed" - does she get a lot of second looks by men she is attracted to?

It's been a long journey for is, but very exciting!
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Mlghten
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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by Mlghten » Fri Feb 10, 2017 4:48 pm

Thank you for the responses and support. I have been encouraging her to buy sexier clothes for the past year and she has really gotten into it. She always wore granny underwear and now rarely leave home without a thong. I believe she feels a great deal sexier than before and has drawn some attention from males at work. Several months back (after having a few drinks) I brought up the topic in the bedroom. She wanted me to stop the pillow talk but became very excited. The next day I brought it up again and said i want her to feel good about herself and the way she looks. I must tell you the she has very low self confidence, however is really pretty and sexy. She responded that it would never happen however when saying this, she started bringing up all the usual concerns a woman might have.

I dropped the subject and didn't want to go too fast. She has become very receptive to talking about the men at work hanging out during work hours. She calls them her boyfriend and I play along laughing without showing any jealousy at all. This is a huge turn on. More to come

D_Lited_HubWife
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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by D_Lited_HubWife » Fri Feb 10, 2017 5:00 pm

Seems like you are both making progress. Just make sure you have expressed clear reasons for wanting this besides that it just turns you on. She has to be the one wanting this to move forward. So it's good that you aren't a source of pressure about this. Very good steps that she is able to jokingly say things like that. Seems like real potential for progress. Keep us updated for sure! :)

Mlghten
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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by Mlghten » Fri Feb 10, 2017 6:59 pm

I believe we are making progress, but I often find myself fighting the urge to move too fast. I really think she is holding her naughty side back. I have been able her to make a few comments about other men when she has been drinking, however she is quick to end the topic. The comments are very cursory and I truely believe she has it in her, but is holding it all back. She was raised in a very religious family and is fighting a lifetime of society telling her how she should be.

My wife has only had one other lover before we were married and was not engaged in the dating or the bar scene. Her previous lover had played games with her during their relationship and she later found out he had numerous lovers on the side. I have always been faithful to her and have no desire not to continue. She needs to know she is attractive to other men and that many of them would want to have her sexually. I believe this self confidence will boost the way she feels about herself. This is a big concern to me as she is stressed constantly. I think if she could let her hair down every once in a while, it will make her much happier. She and I are very much in love and I know she is my soulmate and best friend.

I will keep you posted on our progress. Again good advice is always welcome.

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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by Her number1 » Fri Feb 10, 2017 7:10 pm

Mlghten wrote: Just thinking of her obtaining the ultimate sexual experience and sharing it with me has been on my mind for over a year.
This is the only part that bothers me. Its not just you but, why jump to her having the "ultimate sexual experience".
She may already be having the ultimate or she may never have the ultimate.
Not trying to pick on you, really. Just trying to show how silly somethings can sound when you are wanting help to convince her. How you convey things to her goes a long way.
Don't overwhelm her with your fantasy and fantasy talk. Do talk to her openly and honestly, and Listen.
Discuss with her what it is she would like, find out what she wants. If you both know you are lacking something, talk and find out what that is. Move forward from there.
Being conservative is not a show stopper, my wife and are and have been at this for a while.
You are one of the biggest keys in building up her confidence. Work on building her confidence and her trust in you. Having trust in you and confidence will make her 'comfortable', comfortable will lower her stress and lowered stress helps her to want to enjoy more. It is all a process that takes time and communication and communication.

Mlghten
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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by Mlghten » Sat Feb 11, 2017 5:54 am

Duly noted. I appreciate your honesty I still a tendency to revert to looking at things that I want and I know that has to change. We are going out tonight and I am excited to get this much overdue time together.

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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by bradisalpha » Sat Feb 11, 2017 6:21 am

Have a great time tonight. Maybe she will wear a sexy/suggestive outfit for you ?? You might have to subtly point out to her if she draws attention !!

Let us know how your evening goes.

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traycir
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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by traycir » Sat Feb 11, 2017 6:35 am

Sound like you re doing a good job of easing her into this. As noted here though, it has to be something she wants too. Has she asked you why you want this? I know my wife first asked me if this was a way for me to have sex with other women and if I still wanted her. From reading here these are probably the two most often expressed concerns a wife has. Even if she doesn't ask, reassuring her is always a good idea. That of course is part of the advice everyone will give you here about this: communicate, communicate, and when you are done communicate some more!
I think it is a good idea that you are moving slowly for two reasons. Some of the threads here show how much a woman can do this and resent her partner if he pushes her too fast and too much. Everyone moves at their own rate, and if you let her move at hers you may be surprised at how quickly it goes. (I was.) The second reason to move slowly is that this is like any other journey you embark on, half the fun of the trip is getting there! Enjoy your journey!
Everything will work out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, then it's not the end.

Mlghten
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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by Mlghten » Sat Feb 11, 2017 7:23 am

I did bring it up several months ago and her response was exactly that. She asked me if I wanted to sleep with someone else and if I wasn't attracted to her. I reassured her that was not the case and I have absolutely no interest in a sexual relationship with anyone but her. When asked why I wanted this, I told her about her very low self confidence and lack of feeling attractive. I expressed that if she experienced being attractive and desired by other men it would help how she feels about herself. I know she wants to feel better about herself as she mentions her appearance all the time. She often reminds me that I tell her she is hot looking because I am her husband. I can tell her until I am blue in the face how beautiful she is and she shrugs me off. I know she wants to feel good about herself. When this conversation occurred, she did surprise me with a comment about how this would happen and she didn't want to be looked as a slut. By the way, this conversation did not occur as pillow talk or while we were drinking. She later told me that I could forget it and that it will no happen. I did not engage in any further conversation on the topic as I didn't want this unless she wants it. My feeling is that she thought about it and her natural response was to say no way because she got scared. I got scared too, thinking I was moving too fast and didn't want to push.

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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by bradisalpha » Sat Feb 11, 2017 8:10 am

Just ease along.. Encourage her to dress in attractive outfits.. And point out when a guy looks at her and tell her that you must not be the only one that thinks she is hot !! She will remember those looks and might just dress to get more of them soon ????

That's step one !!

Brad
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Mlghten
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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by Mlghten » Sat Feb 11, 2017 10:53 am

I sure will. She has a very sexy outfit picked out with some new shoes. She will look fantastic. I'll let you know how it goes.

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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by jaynjoy2 » Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:46 am

If my wife agreed to dress sexier and was doing it, and appeared to be enjoying other men noticing her, I would be happy about it but not read too much into it. Some women enjoy being appreciated, but they have no intention of letting anyone touch. We called them teasers when I was a young man.

It is possible she is doing this because you enjoy it and it is arousing you enough that you are performing better in bed. That is not bad. That too can be enjoyed while she continues to attract other men.

It may be that your wife has no intention of ever letting another man fuck her. But, even if that is the case, she may change her attitude if the right guy starts paying attention and flirting with her. Be patient. Expect it to take months so that you are not checking status every day.

Try to get her in some situations where others can flirt with her. Maybe the guys at work will do some of the flirting, but I'll guess that she will be slow to play with any of them because of the comment you made about her saying she does not want this to make her look slutty.

Mlghten
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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by Mlghten » Sat Feb 11, 2017 6:54 pm

We just got home from the most enjoyable evening we have had in years. You won't believe how things unfolded. While walking into the restaurant, my wife ran into a male coworker, not one she considers a "boyfriend". As we were walking away, he was check her ass out. She did look amazing wearing wedges and tight jeans. As we were eating, I told her what the coworker which she didn't believe. it to her attention. I was able to convince her it was true, which it was and her response was "really". She seemed to enjoy the fact that this occurred. As we sat at the bar waiting for our table, a male walked by and made eye contact, paused and said hello. She responded back. I asked her if she knew the guy and she said, no. She told me it was a wierd encounter, And she didn't understand what had happen. I told her that she looked extremely hot and apparently he thought so as well. She responded with a big smile. I don't want to read too much into this, however, I think this turn of event was a big boost in my wife's confidence. She can believe the coworker checking her out was my imagination, but there was no doubt the male in the bar addressed her. I didn't mention anything more other than noting that she attracted other males and I'm not the only one who thinks she is hot. I am soooo excited about how things went tonight. She agreed that tonight was the best time we have had in a long time. I should also tell you that prior to dinner, she bought me my valentines gift. It was a skimpy lingerie and additional pairs of thong underwear. I told her the fact that when she feels sexy wearing these items, it makes me very happy. She said she knew that it would.

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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by BallSpanking » Sat Feb 11, 2017 8:38 pm

This would be a good time to buy her some sexier clothes to wear every day.
Encourage her to flirt, and maybe even text... ;)
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Mlghten
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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by Mlghten » Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:52 pm

Thanks for the advice. I've been gradually buying her sexy clothing over the last year. Her dress and appearance has changed dramatically. She wears thing underwear every day, if you knew her before, this was a big change. I know I need to take things slowly. I find myself fighting the urge to focus on what I want as opposed to what she wants. I think about her getting fucked by another guy frequently. This is my first big step in getting advice online as we proceed through this journey. This is raging inside of me, but I know it's a slow process. I want to do it right, because I cannot bear the thought of loosing her. I hope to eventually share some photographs so you all can see how hot she really is.

Mlghten
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Re: Help

Unread post by Mlghten » Tue Feb 14, 2017 7:00 pm

I had the conversation (sort of) tonight with my unsuspecting wife. I have mentioned sharing before so the seed had been planted several months ago. Tonight I had a few drinks and developed the balls to ask my wife what she thought of the topic. She told me it was weird for me to think this was okay. She said she is devoted to just me and no one else. I told her it was about her and not me. She said she thought I should go get a prostititue and I assured her that was not what this was about. I need some advice on where I should go from here. She ended with we will talk later.

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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by Her number1 » Wed Feb 15, 2017 6:43 am

It is good that you, as you said "sort of", started the conversation. Her response, while not what you wanted to hear, was pretty normal. You said she was "unsuspecting".
Keep the dialog open and honest. Think about what she said in her response and be prepared to give her answers to her questions and concerns.
Wanting this is not weird, it is one of the top fantasies men have worldwide.
She can and should be just as devoted to you and you to her. This is not about less devotion in your marriage or less love.
When the time comes to talk more, have rational answers to her rational questions. Make Sure she has confidence in you and trusts you and your marriage. Do not push her into this, let her find her way with your support. It should take many conversations with each building that trust and confidence.

Mlghten
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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by Mlghten » Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:06 pm

Just wanted to update everyone on my progress. It has been moving slowly, but that is okay, I I want to do this right. I have indeed planted the seed regarding my desire for my wife to become a hot wife. After reading several post, I understand the common theme in developing good communication, trust and making this about us and not me. It has been very hard putting my personal desires aside and placing the focus on her. Control in our relatiship has been transferred to my wife, as she is a very dominate women. Over the past year, i have allowed her to become more dominate in our relationship, which was foreign to her in the past. She was raised in a strict Christian family lead by a dominate father who looks as women as subservient.

I have been moving slowly in introducing the hot wife concept to our relationship. She has been openly reluctant, but I haven't written off the possibility of this happening. She sometimes gives me mixed signals. I will keep you updated as thing hopefully progress.

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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by HWSage » Wed Mar 08, 2017 3:44 am

My wife is conservative as well. Conservative women are usually taught a great deal that they are either good girls, or they are not. If your wife is conservative, this may be part of what she is dealing with. It can be very hard for them to overcome what they have been taught all their life. It took me a long time to convince my wife she was an awesome good girl and that doing this would never take away from her purity or character. I explained I knew she was the sort of girl that would never cheat; told here that's one reason I married her! I explained that most women had multiple partners these days and no one thought any less of them. Plus, she would would be helping our marriage. We need a livelier sex life and most people that do this report much greater intimacy in their marriage. I pointed out that the marriage book we had read "The Three Marriage Enigmas" points out that sex outside of the marriage is the most erotic sex a woman can experience. I picked a man I knew she was attracted to, and during intercourse asked her what it would be like to feel him inside of her. Talk about a reaction!!!! Started humping my brains out.
I found that as long as I did not do it too often, that talking about it in bed was very arousing for her.

It took a while, but eventually she did do it for me and we were off to the races, so to speak.

D_Lited_HubWife
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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by D_Lited_HubWife » Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:43 am

A key too is to make sure you are setting up a proper context in her mind before you bring up anything about hotwifing. Get her thinking positively about your marriage, herself, and her own sexuality. Don't barge in to defend yourself if she has reservations, but let her know you value that part of her. Keep it up. Love hearing about couples like us that are making the slow progression forward.

central
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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by central » Wed Mar 08, 2017 4:49 pm

M1ghten,

I am looking forward to your updates as things progress and develop.

Mlghten
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Re: Just Beginning

Unread post by Mlghten » Thu Mar 09, 2017 8:50 am

Thank you for the responses and advice. I will surely keep you informaed on our progress. I'm at the point now where we are both fighting to find time together to discuss things. Planning a date night in a few weeks. So excited to work on our relationship and maybe take another baby step forward.

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