What was your starting point?

[Hallonsoda]

I am starting a new thread because I want as many answers as possible.

What was your starting point? Several decades monogamous marriage or just a few dates before you knew exactly where it would end. Or something in between?

I am curious because it seems a rock solid marriage seems to be the best starting point in this lifestyle. What do you think?

[DaveS]

We had been married 7 years when I gave my consent to my wife's request to have a poly relationship with an old flame. Our marriage was very solid (and continues to be - several years into this). As time went on, I also began a poly/fwb relationship with another woman - and our poly marriage developed a stag/vixen/hotwife accent.

I absolutely agree that a marriage must be very solid before experimenting with any form of CNM. Opening a marriage to "fix a marriage" is never a good idea!

[Tank Turner]

Hi DaveS

Long before our first time. We merely had to wait until she was ready to pull it off.

If your wife and you dirty talk during sex, listen carefully to what she says. Women will often reveal their fantasies during dirty talking.

[MarknSusan]

Our starting point was before we got married more than 30 years ago. We had discussions about our past relationships and she indicated that she had still had three guys from the past that she really enjoyed having sex with.

We made an agreement that it was ok if either one of us wanted to have sex with someone else after we got married..as long as we were honest with each other and did not cheat. We didn’t even know what an open relationship was or non monogamous was back then.

She ended up getting together with all three them after we got married and it worked out fine….and of course..we didn’t stop there and we continue to explore with others.

[Natatude]

We were married 6 years before I found out hubby wanted to share me. That was in 1994. We have been married 35 wonderful years and we do have a rock solid marriage.

[4herpleasure89]

We started very slow. We were married over 20 years before starting and things developed very gradually. Everyone is different but I’m an advocate for strong marriages and baby steps.

[SammySigns]

We talked about it and did a little bit when we were dating, but we didn't really start for real until we were married for a while.

[wordlover2000]

Hi DaveS

Long before our first time. We merely had to wait until she was ready to pull it off.

If your wife and you dirty talk during sex, listen carefully to what she says. Women will often reveal their fantasies during dirty talking.

Those last two sentences, absolutely. We had been married only a couple of years, but were a couple for several years before that (so, "longstanding"). My wife used to tell "stories" for the both of us while she rode me during sex (during which she had enormous orgasms). These stories almost always featured someone joining us in bed...usually a man, though sometimes a woman. During one of our sessions I finally said...perhaps not the smoothest of lines..."I want to do this for real. I want to watch you suck another guy's cock." She stopped dead and said, "You're kidding." I assured her I wasn't. Long story short, she became a hotwife less than a month after that.

She clearly harbored the fantasies and just needed a little nudge toward reality from my end.

[bewareoflizzy]

We were married 10 years before Lizzy took the plunge. A lot of fantasizing and pillow talk preceded her bedding the younger cook she worked with but I knew she really wanted it.

[Johnann2227]

We had been dating a couple of years and began swinging with friends on a camping tip. That quickly turned into weekly play with them and then going to swinger clubs most weeks. We have never stopped swinging and have played now over 25 years. Early in our marriage we opened our marriage to either of us having one night stands if we were out and met someone we liked. From there we got into hotwifing. Ann has had over a dozen boyfriends in the past 15 years. We classify a boyfriend as someone that she is actively dating eg. Going out to dinner, movies, weekends away opposed to a FB who she just enjoys a good fucking from now and again. She has also had a lot of FBs.

[Tank Turner]

Hi DaveS

Long before our first time. We merely had to wait until she was ready to pull it off.

If your wife and you dirty talk during sex, listen carefully to what she says. Women will often reveal their fantasies during dirty talking.

Those last two sentences, absolutely. We had been married only a couple of years, but were a couple for several years before that (so, "longstanding"). My wife used to tell "stories" for the both of us while she rode me during sex (during which she had enormous orgasms). These stories almost always featured someone joining us in bed...usually a man, though sometimes a woman. During one of our sessions I finally said...perhaps not the smoothest of lines..."I want to do this for real. I want to watch you suck another guy's cock." She stopped dead and said, "You're kidding." I assured her I wasn't. Long story short, she became a hotwife less than a month after that.

She clearly harbored the fantasies and just needed a little nudge toward reality from my end.

Hi wordlover2000,

According to what my wife has told me and what other women have told me and what I've read, most married women (over 50%) want to experience men other than their husbands. It appeared that most women in that percentage were denied their desires due to fear of their husbands' reactions.

Research indicates that women fantasize about fucking men other than their husbands as often as men fantasize about fucking women other than their wives. It's a completely normal and common fantasy.

Insecure and jealous men deprive their wives of sexual euphoria. Insecure and jealous men seem incapable of distinguishing sex as a physical act of euphoria from sex as an expression of love.

My wife has told me a thousand times that while she loves fucking young studs, it's only an act of sexual euphoria. When she fucks me, we feel the mystical connection and deep and authentic love we share for each other. We know the difference between sex for physical euphoria and sex and an expression of love and strengthening the mystical bond that forever connects us to each other.

[Bobs52]

We had been married over 20 years before I confessed my hotwife fantasy to my wife. It was another 7 years until she finally acted on it. It was a one-off thing that was the perfect storm (both out of town at a high school reunion without their spouses).

Early on in our marriage I didn’t know I had this desire. In fact I was quite jealous. At the time she had a pretty big job. Many out of town trips around the US, Canada and even a couple of Hong Kong trips. Almost all of these trips were either with men or going to meet men. She “retired” quite early though and no longer takes such trips.

When I look back on all the opportunity she had if only she knew I WANTED her to fuck other men I have a lot of regret that I didn’t tell her sooner. Of course, as I wrote earlier I’m not sure even I knew I wanted it.

These days, the opportunities are very few and far between. In fact she hasn’t acted on it since. Last night at a nice dinner she did tell me in no uncertain terms that if she had the chance to fuck that guy again she absolutely would. He lives far away however and it’s just not practical. It did give me a thrill to hear her say it though, and gives me continued hope that a perfect situation may again occur and she will act on it!

[DaveS]

Hi DaveS

Long before our first time. We merely had to wait until she was ready to pull it off.

If your wife and you dirty talk during sex, listen carefully to what she says. Women will often reveal their fantasies during dirty talking.

Actually - During our bedtime stories, I had discovered my wife's fantasy of an MFM 3some and fucking other men with me present early in our marriage - and we incorporated these fantasies into our dirty talk during sex. Unlike other men on this forum, however, this was not a fantasy for me at all. While I was happy to indulge my wife's fantasy as fantasy, I would have strongly objected to any such play in real life - and I did indeed strenuously object when my wife first approached me about having a poly relationship with an old flame. However, I did eventually give in - primarily because of our age gap (I am several years older). In the beginning, I could barely tolerate the idea of her having sex with another man (and I was certainly not present at that time). Gradually, though, tolerance grew to acceptance - and finally to interest and fascination as she told me the blow by blow details of her encounters with her bf - then ultimately to my full and whole hearted participation with her and her 2nd boyfriend (the first one broke up with her when his wife became pregnant - but eventually they started fucking again on occasion - in addition to regular sex with 2nd bf).

[DaveS]

Hi DaveS

Long before our first time. We merely had to wait until she was ready to pull it off.

If your wife and you dirty talk during sex, listen carefully to what she says. Women will often reveal their fantasies during dirty talking.

Those last two sentences, absolutely. We had been married only a couple of years, but were a couple for several years before that (so, "longstanding"). My wife used to tell "stories" for the both of us while she rode me during sex (during which she had enormous orgasms). These stories almost always featured someone joining us in bed...usually a man, though sometimes a woman. During one of our sessions I finally said...perhaps not the smoothest of lines..."I want to do this for real. I want to watch you suck another guy's cock." She stopped dead and said, "You're kidding." I assured her I wasn't. Long story short, she became a hotwife less than a month after that.

She clearly harbored the fantasies and just needed a little nudge toward reality from my end.

Hi wordlover2000,

According to what my wife has told me and what other women have told me and what I've read, most married women (over 50%) want to experience men other than their husbands. It appeared that most women in that percentage were denied their desires due to fear of their husbands' reactions.

Research indicates that women fantasize about fucking men other than their husbands as often as men fantasize about fucking women other than their wives. It's a completely normal and common fantasy.

Insecure and jealous men deprive their wives of sexual euphoria. Insecure and jealous men seem incapable of distinguishing sex as a physical act of euphoria from sex as an expression of love.

My wife has told me a thousand times that while she loves fucking young studs, it's only an act of sexual euphoria. When she fucks me, we feel the mystical connection and deep and authentic love we share for each other. We know the difference between sex for physical euphoria and sex and an expression of love and strengthening the mystical bond that forever connects us to each other.

I came across this stat on the web not long ago. I cannot vouch for the scientific accuracy - but I wouldn't be surprised at all if the numbers are relatively accurate (and perhaps even a bit higher):

"74% of men and 68% of women say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught."

[wordlover2000]

Hi DaveS

Long before our first time. We merely had to wait until she was ready to pull it off.

If your wife and you dirty talk during sex, listen carefully to what she says. Women will often reveal their fantasies during dirty talking.

Those last two sentences, absolutely. We had been married only a couple of years, but were a couple for several years before that (so, "longstanding"). My wife used to tell "stories" for the both of us while she rode me during sex (during which she had enormous orgasms). These stories almost always featured someone joining us in bed...usually a man, though sometimes a woman. During one of our sessions I finally said...perhaps not the smoothest of lines..."I want to do this for real. I want to watch you suck another guy's cock." She stopped dead and said, "You're kidding." I assured her I wasn't. Long story short, she became a hotwife less than a month after that.

She clearly harbored the fantasies and just needed a little nudge toward reality from my end.

Hi wordlover2000,

According to what my wife has told me and what other women have told me and what I've read, most married women (over 50%) want to experience men other than their husbands. It appeared that most women in that percentage were denied their desires due to fear of their husbands' reactions.

Research indicates that women fantasize about fucking men other than their husbands as often as men fantasize about fucking women other than their wives. It's a completely normal and common fantasy.

Insecure and jealous men deprive their wives of sexual euphoria. Insecure and jealous men seem incapable of distinguishing sex as a physical act of euphoria from sex as an expression of love.

My wife has told me a thousand times that while she loves fucking young studs, it's only an act of sexual euphoria. When she fucks me, we feel the mystical connection and deep and authentic love we share for each other. We know the difference between sex for physical euphoria and sex and an expression of love and strengthening the mystical bond that forever connects us to each other.

All very well stated. My own wife had no trouble separating the lust from the love, and wholeheartedly exploring the lust with other men in ways that blew my mind. I could not believe how naturally and completely she embraced the concept and just...let herself go, sexually. But yes, it was always about pleasuring and being pleasured physically, and there was always our special love for her to return to at the end of the day, which she understood.

There's no doubt that fantasizing about others is both common and natural, as you say. The question...and this us up to each individual couple...is how far to act on it. It did make me (very) happy to see HER so happy in the act, and jealousy and insecurity was very from my mind (and not in my nature anyway). And the truth is that, beyond seeing her happiness, it was an enormous fantasy of mine to see her with other men. To this day I can get instantly hard just remembering the sight of her admiring, sucking, and fucking other cocks.

[vrmtr]

Extremely hot topic, thank you all for sharing

[Cdncuck]

My wife and I started when we were dating she was 18. I was 21. Strangely enough, she was a virgin when we met. That was a state she was determined to change. Due to her family situation, several, siblings and religious parents, as well as geographic location it hadn't happened.

I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. I had several experiences where friends had shared their girlfriends. I was enthralled by those girls and wanted one just like that for myself. We had dated for a few months. We both realized we were serious about each other. She made it plain she was more than willing to hop into bed with me but I refused. I believed if she learned the truth about the kind of woman that I aspired to she would tell me to get lost.

Finally it came to a head one night and she flat out asked why I refused to go to bed with her. At that point, fearing the worst, I told her everything. Rather than being angry or upset she was fascinated, curious and, surprisingly, aroused.

For about 6 weeks after first discussions, we had sex. A week after that, we had an mfm thing with a guy I worked with and we were off.

We made every mistake there is and probably invented a few. However, we've been together over 30 years. Once she got into it, she loved it. I loved the cream pie and sloppy seconds. Whatever difficulties we had we've always worked them out. Our sex life has been fantastic but after our experience, I would recommend couples wait until they gain some experience and maturity.

[tractorman2]

We started down this path soon after i took her virginity, married when she was 18 it carried on and has ever since. She has told me that even on our wedding day i probably was always destined to become her cuckold husband, even if then neither of us knew the term.

[Sdove]

After nine years of marriage, my wife began to explore the boundaries of our union with an intriguing proposition: the concept of hotwifing. Was it just a fantasy, or could it be a reality? The question hung in the air between us, a tantalizing possibility that neither of us could quite dismiss. It wasn't long before she raised the stakes, wondering aloud if there was someone who might not only fit the bill but also elevate the fantasy into reality.

One sultry evening, after the ritual of her shower and the careful selection of her night attire, she slid next to me under the covers, reigniting the conversation with a newfound intensity. Her eyes sparkled with a mix of mischief and curiosity as she floated the name of our neighbor, a suggestion that sent a shiver down my spine. "Could we?" she whispered, her voice a blend of daring and vulnerability. My consent came softly but firmly, a yes that seemed to echo in the quiet of our room.

She paused, searching my face for any hint of hesitation. "Are you sure?" she pressed, the weight of the moment pressing down on us. My affirmation was steady, unwavering. Without another word, she rose from our bed, a graceful figure of determination. She dressed with purpose and disappeared into the night, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the ticking of the clock.

Three hours later, she returned, her entrance marked by a quiet confidence. "Done," she announced, a single word that closed the chapter of anticipation and opened a new, uncharted path in our journey together.

[Tank Turner]

My wife is hyper-sexual by nature. She's sexually enlightened. During the first month we dated (what I refer to as our booty calling period), she told me that sex was normal and natural. The first time we had sex was on the evening of our first date. It was obvious that she was extremely sexually experienced.

Her endocrine system abnormality will periodically release of an abundance of testosterone into her system. When that occurs, she becomes sexually insatiable. She's in her sexual prime. She can literally fuck many times every day. She's always horny. When she's working off an abundance of testosterone, Katy bar the door.

While she was in college, she feared she was a nymphomaniac. Her college physician told her that there was no medical diagnosis of nymphomania. He told her that she was completely normal. He told her to enjoy her sexuality responsibly. She did.

We became exclusive a month after our first date. I could not keep up with her sex drive, and that was when I could get three or more money shots every day.

I cannot remember not dirty talking MFM sex during sex. We probably knew it was inevitable before we married.

I completely agree that that lifestyle requires an indissoluble bond between husband and wife. Open, honest, and nonjudgmental communication is essential. A wife must feel completely comfortable telling her husband about her sexual desires and vice versa. Husband and wife must know the difference between sex for physical euphoria and experiencing sexual fantasies and sex as an expression of love and strengthening the bond that unites them. If jealousy might become an issue, I'd advise against it.

Around the time we married, probably before, she told me that MFM sex was more common than most people believed. It's a normal and common female sexual fantasy. Women fantasize about fucking men other than their husbands as frequently as men fantasize about fucking women other than their wives. My wife had college sorority sisters who were into every variation of sex imaginable including orgies. My wife told me she's never participated in an orgy. I believed her. She had no reason to lie to me. She has adult friends who do MFM sex. She has at least two female friends who've done gang bangs. Both recommended to my wife that she should experience at least one gang bang.

After close to ten years of marriage, she was deeply into her sexual prime like an unstoppable freight train. When her endocrine system abnormality flared, a football team wouldn't have been able to keep up with her. I remember asking her how many men she thought she could fuck in a gang bang. She confidently told me she could easily keep six men sexually contented. She did not know the maximum number of men she could fuck in one sex session.

I was losing sexual stamina while she was gaining it by the day. I couldn't keep up with her if I had had a case of ED meds. We knew where we were headed. Then suddenly, while we were getting ready to go to a nightclub we used to frequent, she confidently announced to me that she was going to seduce a man that evening and invite him home with us for MFM sex. We didn't have a lot of time to talk about her intention before we arrived at the nightclub. I told her I'd support any decision she intended to make. She replied that I was in it as an equal partner. She assured me she would not fulfill her plan if I disagreed with it or the man she seduced.

I knew my wife fucked a lot of dudes before I fell in love with her and married her. I knew what sex for physical euphoria was. I have never had any problem with my wife getting fucked senseless my other men. I've never felt any jealousy. Our kids are my wife's world. She'd never do anything to jeopardize our family. I knew that after my two money shots that another dude could fuck her senseless all night long while I slept. When it was over, she'd escort him out the door and return to our bed and fall asleep in my arms.

I do not think that there is a transition point in a woman's life when she decides to go from monogamous wife to hotwife. I think it's a desire that women acquire very early in their lives.

[Tank Turner]

Hi Hallonsoda,

I cannot emphasize strongly enough the vital importance of open, honest, and nonjudgmental communication before venturing into the realm of multiple partner sex. Your wife and you must discuss expectations before festivities commence.

My wife and I have no rules other than the unspoken rule of respectful behavior. It is possible to porn star women respectfully. So far we're not encountered anyone who has treated my wife disrespectfully. Conversely, she has had to encourage younger studs to be more sexually aggressive with her. She has always carefully vetted men before she's invited them to join us for MFM sex. Manners and respect are components of her vetting process.

I am straighter than the I-5 between Bakersfield and Modesto. I want no part of another dude's money shot. Dudes know that we operate at opposite ends. I have never nor would I ever do "clean up" on my wife's pussy, not even on my own money shots. I am completely good and nonjudgmental if other dudes want to clean my wife's pussy. She reserves her pussy for me first. What other dudes do is up to my wife and them. I have never interfered with my wife's and other dudes' sexual decisions. I do not care nor have I made judgments about other dudes fucking her after I came inside of her.

When my wife has taken body shots (She LOVES warm cum on her tits.) she has always rinsed off before getting back in action. If she swallows another dude's money shot, she'll cleanse her mouth with an alcoholic beverage before allowing me near her face.

My wife is well aware of my aversion to other dudes' cum. Many men are unconcerned with other dudes' cum. I respect their sexual proclivities. They have respected mine. My wife loves cum and has been perfect at keeping it away from me.

If my wife is giving a blowjob to another dude, I'll never interfere until they're done. It's respect for my wife and another dude. If she's jacking off another dude which means she has her hands covered with lubricant, I'll wait until he cums and my wife washes her hands before moving in on her.

I have never participated in double penetrating my wife. In fact, I prefer another dude fucking my wife's ass if she permits him and leaving her pussy to me. I can wait until another dude deposits his money shot inside of her ass before I work her pussy again. The reality is she has rarely allowed another dude to fuck her ass. Anal sex has never done a thing for me. According to my wife, I'm an anomaly. She's told me that most of her boyfriends prior to me wanted anal sex, but she hasn't always submitted to it. She had to have been in an anal sex mood, and dudes had to have had anal sex experience. She's told me anal sex was pleasurable if it was performed correctly.

We usually commence activities with me burying my face in her bush until she's exhausted from orgasms while she strokes another dude's cock. She cannot give head and concentrate on orgasm simultaneously. Then I'll fuck her like a pile driver while she's giving a blowjob, but that doesn't always work for her. If I thrust too hard, it jerks her mouth off of a cock. Assuming I can get two money shots, her mouth will be cleansed before she sucks my cock. After my second money shot, I usually fall asleep next to her and another dude leaving her for his sexual pleasure...and him for her sexual pleasure.

Without knowing each other's expectations beforehand, multiple partner sex could become inconvenient and uncomfortable. I do know that what has worked for us might not work for others. However, the importance of communication before engaging in multiple partner sex applies universally.

[Cuckold12]

I was 22 and my wife was 19. My wife fuck my best friend right after we were married. It was a hot summer night and she was wearing a very short sundress with nothing under it. She was sitting with the dress up with her pussy showing. We were drinking when she said are you guys hot. We are hot looking at your fucking hot body. She stood up took her dress off and said that’s better and if I am nude everyone is nude. My friend and I ripped our cloths off. When she saw my friends 8.5 inch cuck she reached out and touched it. She couldn’t take her eyes off of it. She was stroking it playing with it she said I want to see if I can ride it. Are you Ok with me fucking him. My cuck was rock hard I said go for it. She said just this once. I could see the look on her face when she set on it and started to fuck it she couldn’t stop cumming. They fucked for hours I loved it. That night she became a hotwife and I was her cuckold. My friend became her long term bf. I would clean both of them up when they told me get over here. Love the lifestyle.

[little sissy Benita]

Our starting point was after the birth of second son. Smile, we want to spice up our sexlife. And at the end i was pussy free - denial - chemically castrated with a tiny 0,31 inches willie - not more her husband, but her little daughter.
Life is like a chocolate box, you don´t know what you get

[isinlarsa]

I've had several relationships that turned into her being a hotwife or hotgirlfriend. In each case, we started as a monogamous couple and intended to stay that way. However, after a while she felt the urge to have some outside activities. I readily agreed.

When the relationship ended, it was for reasons other than the fact other men were fucking her. Indeed, I think the mutual excitement we felt from other men having her extended the relationship. My first marriage and breaking up with my girlfriend had nothing to do with sex. There were other issues. My second marriage continues, even though she has ended her hotwife activities. Those are good memories.

[JR1966]

I think when they say over 50 percent fantasize about fucking another man their fantasy and a man’s fantasy are probably two different things.

I don’t think women have the same dirty thoughts as men do. At least most.