solstice wrote:The bad guys comments posting by Carrie has lead me to make this observation:
I must confess to being embarrassing vanilla, so why you may ask am I an ardent follower of Carrie's and Mike's thread? Well Mike and Carrie are in my judgement a lovely couple honest and intelligent, the sort of people I would choose as friends. and of course their thread is red hot sexy!
My vanilla side shows up when I read a thread when either of the couples treat their partner with disrespect, sometimes when the husband is offended by a lover attitude to him and the wife comes down strongly on her lovers side against her husband. I know games are played, but if continued would leads me to abandon the thread. There are however many couples with a lovely attitude to their spouse as is the case in this thread,
Ahh Mr solstice, you and I are reciprocal, the yin and yang of kink ;-).
I'd have to say I'm anything but embarrassingly vanilla. To be sure, vanilla sex is still hot, however in my world its what two tops or two bottoms do when they hookup ;-).
Note the section of your post I bolded .. to be sure, respect is a sin qua non of relationship, however when either partner says it's ok to play and then sets up arbitrary limits on what that play should be like, I rapidly lose interest. The moreso when a couple is knowingly stepping into the terra incognita of BDSM or vanilla polyamorous play and some third party weighs in on whether that's okay .. you may have noticed I'm not shy about expressing my fundamental views on free will in sexual relationship.
As a queer woman I frankly find a lot of heteronormative sex unappealing, what I love about the edgy threads on ohw is that more often than not, there's a woman getting to explore her sexuality. I'm always in favor of that ;-).