I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

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willingtoo
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I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by willingtoo » Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:11 pm

Hello everyone. I am married and 37 years old and he is 45. We have no children and have been happy for the most part of the 10 years we have been married but the Hotwife desires on the part of my husband has become a bit of a problem for us. We started fantasizing about it 5 or 6 years ago and it was fun and turned me on. He wanted to know about the guys I was with before we married and what we did specifically in bed. Over time he wanted the fantasy more and more until eventually It was almost never about us but just me and the fantasy guy. The sex has been good in our marriage overall and I often had an orgasm.

He eventually wanted us to go out to bars and have me flirt with guys which I did a few times and it was fun. We went together. He gave me a lot of rope in flirting. When we got home he wanted to know which guy at the bar I would consider having sex with if I were single. Usually I met a couple guys just fun conversation and a dance or two. I’d tell him which guy and then we fantasized about the guy taking me sexually. The fantasies were fun and they sometimes turned me on to the point of orgasm. He was unbelievably turned on and Loved it ! Took awhile to understand it (having sex with other men) was all about me and not him with other women but I believe that now. I thought it was an excuse for him to fool around. The focus is always on me and I believe him. He rarely flirts with or talks about other women. He is kind and considerate and we have some domestic problems like all couples. The sex has been good in our marriage and I orgasm almost every time. He is average in penis size and girth like 7 inches and a good lover. Basically he is a great guy and a good husband. So far so good right?


The way I see him. 6’2 and nice looking. I have researched the term Cuckold and he does not fit that criteria. He is not real domineering but certainly not submissive or into humiliation as I have read some foot guys are that are obsessed with female feet. So, sounds more like he’s into the Hotwife thing I have read about. He loves female feet and tells me mine are beautiful. He just likes me to wear sexy shoes and pose my legs and feet for him before sex. Also he in public and watch if other men notice or glance at my feet and legs. Same at the bar. During sex my feet become secondary. More like foreplay. He likes me to point my toes during sex and also wants that in the fantasies with other men. I have no problem with the foot fascination in fact he gives a wonderful foot massage any time I want and buys me any shoes I want and pedicures. Just mentioned it because feet are a big part of his sexual passion

The way I see me.. I am an average 37, 5’ 3”, year old female average in every category. Girl next door type “They” say.. People usually say I’m Cute and I agree!. I have always liked sex. I remember sexual feelings about it even pre teen. After my cousin in HS I had 3 guys and 5 or 6 in college. Virginity Lost early (Illegal but I encouraged him and I wanted it to happen ) to an older cousin when I was 16 he was 28 or so (totally resolved and I was not raped). I lean to the submissive kind especially in sex. I like the man to be in charge in bed and do things his way. Tall, assertive, confident men turn me on. Handsome not necessary. As I said, I lean to the submissive side of things.




I want to make him happy, but how far do we go with this?


Most recently he has encouraged me to flirt with a guy at work that pays a lot of attention to me. I found the guy attractive but nothing more. He is divorced and about 50. But the more we flirt, the more the sex vibes are obvious and I have found it easy to fantasize about him which drives my husband crazy and he almost explodes. We have been “flirting” going on over a year and my husband keeps encouraging it and fantasizing about it. By now husband sounds really serious about wanting me to do it. Even offering to pay for a room in a really nice hotel.

I’m in a bad place. My flirting has turned me to thinking it would be erotic and exciting and I’m being encouraged by my husband to proceed. And that’s where it is at. I go back and forth. So many worries especially what it might do to how I feel about him (husband) after.

I can’t talk about this with anyone in my circle obviously. Not even with best friends or relatives. I’m very nervous and so is my husband. Both of us are back and forth. No pressing decision right now, but is becoming more difficult every day. He and I know that we are both close. That’s why I thought it would be good to come to a safe place where I am unknown.

Just writing this makes me more clear about our relationship if nothing else.

Ideas, thoughts or information would be great!

davidm205
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by davidm205 » Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:21 pm

You will have a cascade of input shortly often conflicting.

I like to keep things simple. My advise is simple if you proceed do it because you want to, and only because you want to. To many man in general think with their little head and so many after the deed is done just fall apart with all kinds of issues when the actual realization comes calling.

Do not be pressured and only if you also feel you can keep your emotions in check and are not worried about actually falling for the new dude. If you know and are honest with yourself this may provide you input.

Hope this helps.

Regards
Dav

adtd8283
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by adtd8283 » Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:30 pm

davidm205 wrote:You will have a cascade of input shortly often conflicting.

I like to keep things simple. My advise is simple if you proceed do it because you want to, and only because you want to. To many man in general think with their little head and so many after the deed is done just fall apart with all kinds of issues when the actual realization comes calling.

Do not be pressured and only if you also feel you can keep your emotions in check and are not worried about actually falling for the new dude. If you know and are honest with yourself this may provide you input.

Hope this helps.

Regards
Dav
I agree with Dave. His advice is simple and gets down to the nuts and bolts of it all.

hercuck69
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by hercuck69 » Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:44 pm

I would love for my wife to really think it about doing it, but it needs to be because she wants it. Not because I want her to. I’ll share with you my very limited knowledge.

1. Only proceed when you are ready.
2. Your marriage must be very strong with mutual respect.
3. Set rules and guidelines that you both agree with.

If his feelings are anything like mine, he will also be scared. I’d hate to know that I could lose my beloved wife because I had some crazy sexual kink. It makes me worry that she might think I love her any less. It’s not like that at all. I’m 6’ 1” and weight 225. I think this is something we could both enjoy. I wish you lots of luck.

Her number1

Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by Her number1 » Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:52 pm

Your concerns are valid and normal. These are the things that have to be talked about with you and your husband. Are you two comfortable enough with the idea of you being a Hotwife to talk about it at anytime, anywhere, just as normal conversation. Or is it talked about mostly in the bed.
At any rate, if You want to move forward as a Hotwife, do it in small steps, baby steps. As much as your husband says and thinks he wants it, it will be a shock for him once you begin. The baby steps will let him get used to reality vs his fantasy.
Move slow, talk often, and really listen to each other. Trust and openness is everything.
Done right, it can be amazing for an already good marriage.

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Samanthasman
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by Samanthasman » Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:53 pm

Your husband wants this, and that will Likely never change. It sounds like you want it too.

How to start:
- establish a set of rules for what the boundaries are
- both agree that you will do this only ONE time. A one-time fantasy

Neither of you are committed or expecting to do it beyond once.

Try it

Don’t violate any of the boundaries. This is important.

After the one-time... see how you both feel about it
Take some time to process your feelings
Only if you both say “yes” should you move forward and play again
- that might take a minute, day, hour, month, or more

If one or both of you don’t like the results (which is not typical), then it’s really not a big deal. Nobody gets a divorce or permanently changes much of anything due to a one-time fantasy - as long as you don’t violate any of the rules/boundaries.

For example if you say you will use condoms, call, do it only so many ways or times, be only out so long, send texts, take pictures, etc. and then you don’t do what you committed to, that can cause resentment.

Remember - this is a team sport!
Our threads:
Samantha Getting Started...

trdd
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by trdd » Wed Mar 28, 2018 5:53 pm

Some things are best left a fantasy. If you have reservations, make sure you talk about all of them at least twice before moving forward. Do not do anything that makes you uncomfortable or feels like too much.

What is your concern with how you will feel about your husband after?

JmDm81
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by JmDm81 » Wed Mar 28, 2018 7:02 pm

A lot of great advice here so far. It can be overwhelming. I would do plenty of reading here. The library has some good guides. They really helped my wife and I to be able to move forward. Definitely communicate with your husband, you can't do that enough! You don't have to do this if you don't want to. Don't feel pressured or obligated. My wife wasn't on board either at first. We still talked about it, and she eventually felt like it could be good thing. A few years later, we've had much success. Our marriage is rock solid. We're closer than ever. We have a deeper appreciation for each other. My wife says she's fallen even more in love with me since I started sharing her. Overall we do a better job communicating about all aspects of our life. Good luck!

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4herpleasure89
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by 4herpleasure89 » Thu Mar 29, 2018 2:05 am

Whether or not you decide to move forward, your progression thus far is very typical. We fantasized about the lifestyle for many years prior to starting. Now we both wish we had proceeded sooner. There were tense moments that challenged our marriage in many respects. But for us, it has mostly been a great thing. This web site helped a lot. But the greatest help came from meeting people in the lifestyle in person.

traycir
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by traycir » Thu Mar 29, 2018 5:19 am

Her number1 wrote:Your concerns are valid and normal. These are the things that have to be talked about with you and your husband. Are you two comfortable enough with the idea of you being a Hotwife to talk about it at anytime, anywhere, just as normal conversation. Or is it talked about mostly in the bed.
At any rate, if You want to move forward as a Hotwife, do it in small steps, baby steps. As much as your husband says and thinks he wants it, it will be a shock for him once you begin. The baby steps will let him get used to reality vs his fantasy.
Move slow, talk often, and really listen to each other. Trust and openness is everything.
Done right, it can be amazing for an already good marriage.
This is really good advice. If you haven't already try having a serious discussion about this over coffee or a drink. Make sure you truly want this and make sure he understands that you are discussing leaving the land of make believe. My wife and I talked this over almost endlessly. She used to have a phrase when I would tell her these fantasies, "sounds good on paper". We finally realized the fantasy, and it was good, and is. But everyone here who is successful at this will stress three things: 1 communication, 2 communication, 3 communication. Hernumber1 really nailed it when he said trust and openness is everything.
Everything will work out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, then it's not the end.

stillcanhang57
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by stillcanhang57 » Thu Mar 29, 2018 6:04 am

traycir wrote:
Her number1 wrote:Your concerns are valid and normal. These are the things that have to be talked about with you and your husband. Are you two comfortable enough with the idea of you being a Hotwife to talk about it at anytime, anywhere, just as normal conversation. Or is it talked about mostly in the bed.
At any rate, if You want to move forward as a Hotwife, do it in small steps, baby steps. As much as your husband says and thinks he wants it, it will be a shock for him once you begin. The baby steps will let him get used to reality vs his fantasy.
Move slow, talk often, and really listen to each other. Trust and openness is everything.
Done right, it can be amazing for an already good marriage.
This is really good advice. If you haven't already try having a serious discussion about this over coffee or a drink. Make sure you truly want this and make sure he understands that you are discussing leaving the land of make believe. My wife and I talked this over almost endlessly. She used to have a phrase when I would tell her these fantasies, "sounds good on paper". We finally realized the fantasy, and it was good, and is. But everyone here who is successful at this will stress three things: 1 communication, 2 communication, 3 communication. Hernumber1 really nailed it when he said trust and openness is everything.

This is , along with most of the comments here, excellent advice. We like to call them " kitchen table conversations".
Sincere honest and open conversations when engourged organs are not involved.

I will bring up 1 red flag that we would definitely avoid....Coworkers. I realize that the availability and comfort zone seems to make this a potential partner but all the other potential issues involving someone that you see on a daily basis is ripe with conflict.

nevertoolate

Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by nevertoolate » Thu Mar 29, 2018 6:06 am

I want to make him happy, but how far do we go with this?

I’m in a bad place. My flirting has turned me to thinking it would be erotic and exciting and I’m being encouraged by my husband to proceed. And that’s where it is at. I go back and forth. So many worries especially what it might do to how I feel about him (husband) after.
The answer to the first question is; as far as YOU are willing and comfortable. This is not a bungee jumping dare, be true to yourself.

Your second statement is telling. You are not the first woman (or man) to be in that rut. The longer you pace back and forth in the rut, the deeper it seems to get. It is apparent you love your husband and want to please him, but if you sacrifice your own comfort level to please him and your first experiences are less than positive, then you may feel some resentment. Not the outcome either of you want. It seems you haven't come to terms with how you will see your husband after experiencing sexual pleasure from other men. That is reason enough to write here and talk to your husband about it. Preferably not when you have his erection in your hand, but in a non sexual setting.

Sometimes we get to the very edge of adventure and still have doubts. Sure life is short, but sometimes we just aren't ready to commit to our first free fall jump, regardless of of all the safety briefs and training.

There is nothing wrong with not being 100% ready. Take the time to talk this out.

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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by LarrynDallas » Thu Mar 29, 2018 9:31 am

Decide what you want. Don't put your husband's desires above your own. Of course you want to please him, that's the whole idea of marriage, but you are important too. Never subsume your needs before his. If he nags more than you want, tell him and, as a last resort, suggest he get counseling if his sexual quirks are interfering with your happy marriage and sex life.

If you go forward, using a coworker or friend just to satisfy your husband's fantasy can be problematic. If you want to have an affair with the coworker, understand a lot of issues can arise unrelated to the hotwife fantasy. And as others have said, Baby Steps.

HWBarb4Fun
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by HWBarb4Fun » Thu Mar 29, 2018 10:29 am

Many similarities here...

My Husband came up with the the idea he wanted us to get into swinging and as time went on and we opened up to each other about our sexual pasts, he decided he didn't want other women, he wanted to see with other men. Seemed strange but I went with it.

As time went on it seemed to get a lot more serious with him, I wanted to keep it a fantasy and saw no problem with that. He wanted "reality". I raised a lot about him. I'm 8 years older than him and started having sex at a much younger age than he did, so in total I had about 15 years more sexual experaince and a lot more partners than he did and he had a lot of sexual things in his bucket-list he wanted to experaince with me. He was very honest with me and said he felt that if I didn't help him fulfill his fantasies, he could see himself finding other women who would be more willing, and he admitted to doing this in past relationships (I was not left feeling threatened) I felt his raw honest feelings.

He always spoke from his heart, and I've always loved that about him. Sure not perfect, but for the first time (ever) in my life I felt like I was in a really safe place. Good communications, open about everything and proved his love for me each and every say.

We began doing things he wanted to try. We use to hide masturbation from each other, so we began openly masturbating in front of each other which was a lot of fun, and he's always had a thing for my fat thighs and loved rubbing his cock on them and cuming on me. Anal sex was next (I had no experience) and that worked-out find and things always went as he promised.

His fire continued burning to see me having sex with other men, so he met a guy and "interviewed him", I trusted the Intel he came back with after they had coffee a couple times, and we went on to meet this guy for dinner. Good looking hunk, confident, trustworthy and had experaince with this. My only reluctance was that once my husband watched me having sex with another man, that's not something you can undue. Ever.

So as we talked the next week I realized this was just "sex". I've had sex with a lot of different men, I have no feelings for any other men, and never needed to be in a relationship with a man to have sex with guys. I've always enjoyed one-night-stands before we married, I'm spontaneous and trusted our rules so I gave the green light to both of them.

We agreed "Roy" would come over Friday afternoon, we all had a couple glasses of wine and my husband said let's go have some fun. The three of us went to the bedroom, Roy and I undressed and immediately started fooling around and within probably 5 minutes were having sex. I was a little nervous at first, but that went away really quick and it was a lot of fun and Roy was a real stud and every time I looked at my husband he had a huge smile on his face! All was well! Roy and I had amazing sex in a number of different positions for about an hour! After he came in me, he cleaned up, hubby escorted him out of our home and hubby came in the room, I was still laying in bed cooling down. He had the biggest smile, he began feeling the cum Roy deposited in me and without hesitation we started having sex and I think hubby lasted all of one minute, probably less.

It was fun, safe and we all enjoyed it. The next day we went out for a drive and talked about it and and agreed everything was fine between us, and hubby was happy about the way I felt and said he wanted it to happen more which I agreed to. We've done it quite a few more times with no regrets.

Takeaways-

We talked about this in depth (face-to-face) with no distractions, we both made rules, we kept them, I felt safe and enjoyed myself. Do I need this in our marriage, no but would do it again. I felt zero feelings for Roy. Through this probably 9 year journey I was most surprised about how our marriage grew. We were both more open, we both pushed our boundaries, we never violated our trust and we did this together as husband and wife. If asked to do it again, with the right man and everything feels right, yes. I'm married to a great man who does everything right for me, so I feel it's only fair that if this lifestyle is that important to him, I'm happy to fulfill his desires. If I never have sex with another man outside of my husband, I'm certainly not missing out on anything.

I've never discussed any of this in our social circles; only here. So many helped us here on ourhotwives

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sextiescouple
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by sextiescouple » Thu Mar 29, 2018 10:49 am

Barb, congratulations! That's the way hotwifes and alternate lifestyles should be.

willingtoo
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by willingtoo » Thu Mar 29, 2018 12:55 pm

Thanks to all of you for responding. Can't tell you how great it is to connect with people that have the same kind of situation. I thought I was going to go nuts not having others to share with beside my husband. Your comments have been very interesting and informative. Amazing how similar we are with some of you.

I just returned home from my regular pedicure which is a time he really enjoys. He Likes to inspect and enjoy my new pedicure and usually leads to feet play then sex and of course the "Fantasy" about the other guy. He comes home in an hour or so I know it will be a pretty intense encounter tonight before we go out for dinner. The Fantasy will be front and center.

We are both very conflicted. It is so extremely sexy and exciting to both of us and neither of us at the "Breaks" to slow it down. I honestly never thought this would be something that really tempted me or turned me on beyond the Fantasy. I actually get wet thinking about it happening sometimes to the point where I tremble. Even when I'm alone. Even now when I know he will be home soon and the sex and Fantasy are sure to be explosive for both of us. We are definitely not slowing this down.

I have been showing off my feet at the office hoping to get his attention. My husband has always encourage me to do that. The guy has never mentioned my feet but he has complimented my legs many times. I think he does notice my feet too. I can feel when he is looking even if I'm working but know he is in view to see my feet and legs. This of course just makes things worse because it turns me on to know he is watching and likes what he sees. I'm becoming an exhibitionist I think LOL.

Curious if any of you are aware of other men into feet. Just wondering if the desire for feet and hotwife fantasies go together. As I said, I have no problem with it at all, in fact he has me convinced my feet are sexy and I like the attention.

Thanks again for helping me and I hope you all keep it up. It really has helped knowing I have people I can go to that have had the same experiences. Both the male side as well as the female.

Minnhotwife

Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by Minnhotwife » Thu Mar 29, 2018 3:24 pm

willingtoo wrote:Thanks to all of you for responding. Can't tell you how great it is to connect with people that have the same kind of situation. I thought I was going to go nuts not having others to share with beside my husband. Your comments have been very interesting and informative. Amazing how similar we are with some of you.

I just returned home from my regular pedicure which is a time he really enjoys. He Likes to inspect and enjoy my new pedicure and usually leads to feet play then sex and of course the "Fantasy" about the other guy. He comes home in an hour or so I know it will be a pretty intense encounter tonight before we go out for dinner. The Fantasy will be front and center.

We are both very conflicted. It is so extremely sexy and exciting to both of us and neither of us at the "Breaks" to slow it down. I honestly never thought this would be something that really tempted me or turned me on beyond the Fantasy. I actually get wet thinking about it happening sometimes to the point where I tremble. Even when I'm alone. Even now when I know he will be home soon and the sex and Fantasy are sure to be explosive for both of us. We are definitely not slowing this down.

I have been showing off my feet at the office hoping to get his attention. My husband has always encourage me to do that. The guy has never mentioned my feet but he has complimented my legs many times. I think he does notice my feet too. I can feel when he is looking even if I'm working but know he is in view to see my feet and legs. This of course just makes things worse because it turns me on to know he is watching and likes what he sees. I'm becoming an exhibitionist I think LOL.

Curious if any of you are aware of other men into feet. Just wondering if the desire for feet and hotwife fantasies go together. As I said, I have no problem with it at all, in fact he has me convinced my feet are sexy and I like the attention.

Thanks again for helping me and I hope you all keep it up. It really has helped knowing I have people I can go to that have had the same experiences. Both the male side as well as the female.
Thank you for the posts and for reaching out! I'm glad so many of us are being positive, honest, and affirming. As a stag, let me reiterate what others have said, please. COMMUNICATION is the make or break for this sexual practice. It must be constant and even with bad news, immediate and clear.

Okay, about feet. Yes, many men have a foot fetish (some more towards link) or just love women's feet.
I enjoy rubbing, kissing, sucking on, and nibbling my wife's feet. She is only into it sometimes. The same for going down on my wife. She doesn't always like oral but just wants intercourse. I don't know if foot fetishes necessarily go with hotwife situations but probably more like my situation. where my wife isn’t into having her feet kissed. Finding another woman can fulfill that sexual desire.Conversely, many guys I know hate touching or thinking of women's feet and for sure don't see anything erotic about them.

There are men who almost worship women's feet and even like to shine their shoes and much more.

So there's my take as a stag. If I have sex with another woman, I would touch and kiss their feet if she liked and responded positively. For sure rub them using my knuckles and thumb with hard pressure.

Have a great night.

Last edited by Minnhotwife on Fri Mar 30, 2018 12:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

Nothing2see
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by Nothing2see » Thu Mar 29, 2018 6:18 pm

Some men (myself included) don't give a hoot about feet. There are many such fetishes, but the only one truly connected to hotwifing is the wish to see your wife sexually desired and or sexually fulfilled by another man.

I second the motion to avoid coworkers.
Our story was purged from OHW years ago

Her number1

Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by Her number1 » Thu Mar 29, 2018 6:39 pm

Nothing2see is right about there being many fetishes and they aren't a direct connection to Hotwifery. But, just as he said that he and many others don't give a hoot about female feet, there are probably just as many of us that do. :D
I enjoy sight of pretty female feet almost as much as anything and it is definitely one of my weaknesses. Thankfully Farmgirl has an extremely pretty set of "come fuck me" feet!
Last edited by Her number1 on Fri Mar 30, 2018 5:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

willingtoo
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by willingtoo » Fri Mar 30, 2018 2:42 am

That's funny, my husband has said I have "Come Fuck me feet" Must be a common phrase.

willingtoo
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by willingtoo » Fri Mar 30, 2018 6:44 am

Last night went as expected. He came home and immediately wanted my feet in his lap to approve the pedicure. That quickly went to fantasy talk and how he'd love to see me under the guy in missionary position with my feet up and toes pointing. I was already moist and trembling before we moved to the bedroom for super passionate sex. We both had orgasms and the fantasy has become super sexy to me. That's when I think I am ready.....during fantasy sex. After we finish I am again full of apprehension and he too is second guessing.

At dinner we talked about it and came to no resolution again. Actually, as usual, the rational talk evolved into more fantasy talk for both of us after awhile and we came home and had fantasy sex again. I never thought it would become so sexy to me. I actually tremble when I think of it actually happening.

I can hardly be around the guy at work. When he is near I get so nervous and am constantly making sure he has a good view of my legs and feet. I guess I want him to approach me in some way, yet I dread it. I am beginning to realize that fear has become erotic for me and I can't resist tempting him to seduce me by saying something to me. I can tease, flirt etc., but I could never be the aggressor. I want him to be the aggressor. I also realize I am definitely on the submissive side. I've always had fantasies about being seduced by an older man (even forced) since I was in my teens. If he and I were alone and he was really aggressive, I probably couldn't resist surrender at this point. When I told me husband that he almost exploded.

Anyway, no progress toward a decision. As I said in an earlier post, neither of us is at the brakes or ready to say let's go. We are in a very dangerous place. It is all we talk about recently. I's on my mind all the time and his too. We are having fantasy sex pretty much every day. Normal was once or twice a week.

Insatiable Hotwife
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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by Insatiable Hotwife » Fri Mar 30, 2018 7:04 am

All good advise, however, please heed caution involving coworkers. I'm not trying to be a Debbie downer and it's your call. I don't know what you do for a living but it can end badly for you and your coworker. I see others have stated this in the above posts as well. Other coworkers have a knack of finding things out and once the gossip starts, normally, it's too late to right the ship.

I wish you and hubs the best in your Hotwife adventures, wherever they may take you.

Becca

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Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by Tryn » Fri Mar 30, 2018 7:14 am

Thank you for sharing! Would you be willing to share your apprehensions? I would love to understand the wife’s perspective when she seems to understand her husband’s.

willingtoo
$2 Ho
Posts: 876
Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2018 3:43 am

Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by willingtoo » Fri Mar 30, 2018 7:37 am

For a long time I didn't understand his perspective. I had the fear that he was just looking for an excuse to cheat on me or that he didn't love me. Over time he convinced me that neither of those were the case. I honestly believe his focus is totally on me. He rarely even notices or comments on other women.

My concerns are:

1. Would this affect how we felt about each other and or cause a divorce.

2. What would it do to my self esteem.

3. Would we like it so much that there'd be no turning back for one or both of us.

4. Would friends or family find out about it.

5. Would there be problems at work for me especially since the guy works with me. There have been two affairs in the past where I work. Other than gossip there were no terribly negative consequences. Both times one of them was transferred to another department across town and both ended in divorce.

rypmar7

Re: I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

Unread post by rypmar7 » Fri Mar 30, 2018 7:56 am

willingtoo wrote:For a long time I didn't understand his perspective. I had the fear that he was just looking for an excuse to cheat on me or that he didn't love me. Over time he convinced me that neither of those were the case. I honestly believe his focus is totally on me. He rarely even notices or comments on other women.

My concerns are:

1. Would this affect how we felt about each other and or cause a divorce.

2. What would it do to my self esteem.

3. Would we like it so much that there'd be no turning back for one or both of us.

4. Would friends or family find out about it.

5. Would there be problems at work for me especially since the guy works with me. There have been two affairs in the past where I work. Other than gossip there were no terribly negative consequences. Both times one of them was transferred to another department across town and both ended in divorce.
My wife has been a very active hotwife for 20 years, so I will offer my 2 cents on your questions:

1. Probably affect feelings, but hopefully in a good way. Divorce is always a possibility. You are playing with fire, but that is the attraction to many. We came close to splitting up once.

2. Probably increase it exponentially, but everyone reacts differently and you may feel debased.

3. Probably at least for one of you.

4. It is likely that in the long run, someone will find out.

5. The work part is a serious red flag and that is where discovery is most likely.

You have to enter the lifestyle hoping for the best, but prepared for the worst. Again, you are playing with fire, but we have enjoyed the ups and downs of it immensely for 20 years. I doubt that helps you much.

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