New and still figuring it all out

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Happyjohnson
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by Happyjohnson » Fri Dec 14, 2018 8:29 pm

Very happy for you that it all worked out so very well. 10 hours yes that would be a marathon session :mrgreen: - how did your husband cope with your absence for that long!
I just hope his angst was not over the top for him, but he enjoyed your recounting of your experiences, or do you hold back on what you give him, to not feel worse considering his physical condition.
It also puts you in a horrible situation of how much do you elaborate on your enjoyment but not make hubby feel worse that he can no longer give you that enjoyment.

2inUPMichigan
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Fri Dec 14, 2018 9:12 pm

Happyjohnson wrote:Very happy for you that it all worked out so very well. 10 hours yes that would be a marathon session :mrgreen: - how did your husband cope with your absence for that long!
I just hope his angst was not over the top for him, but he enjoyed your recounting of your experiences, or do you hold back on what you give him, to not feel worse considering his physical condition.
It also puts you in a horrible situation of how much do you elaborate on your enjoyment but not make hubby feel worse that he can no longer give you that enjoyment.
It is a very sensitive situation. I do kind of hold back so that his feelings aren't hurt. I give him the opportunity to ask questions and let him know that I will tell him as much as he wants to know.

He was asleep when I got home. I did not tell him what time I got home and he didn't ask. I am not sure if he knows or not. :???:

I know 10 hours together was a marathon session but if I can't get the next play date arranged with M in a couple weeks this play date with H will have to last me for a month. And for me that means the next time I have any hopes of having sex is a month away! So while everyone is saying wow that's a lot, remember I don't have the options that many of you have. :o

shall54
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by shall54 » Fri Dec 14, 2018 10:17 pm

Do you have any sense how your husband is feeling about how your date went. To me, him not asking any questions is a worry. You should give him a lot of attention for the next few days as this was a tremendous gift you were given!

2inUPMichigan
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Fri Dec 14, 2018 11:25 pm

shall54 wrote:Do you have any sense how your husband is feeling about how your date went. To me, him not asking any questions is a worry. You should give him a lot of attention for the next few days as this was a tremendous gift you were given!
He is reserved by nature and it isn't unusual for him to not talk about something until he has thoroughly thought it over. This is just his way, just as for someone else it would be natural to bombard you with questions immediately he would naturally hang back and think things through first.

If I suddenly showered him with extra attention he would think I was acting guilty about something or trying to hide something. He will be paying attention and therefore I will be acting the same so that he can see and understand that a simple play date has no real effect on our marriage or my feelings toward him.

2inUPMichigan
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Fri Dec 14, 2018 11:51 pm

I chose not to leave him or cheat on him even after our sex life disappeared and he chose this lifestyle as a way to provide me with a sex life even if he couldn't have one anymore. I did not agree at first but he insisted that this was a solution that made sense for both of us. We are a team and made a decision together to go forward in this lifestyle.

I understand that many of you think of this of some kind of "gift" that I should be grateful for. What is my alternative? No sex for the rest of my life? (I'm in my 50's) Or maybe you think I should cheat on my husband, go behind his back? Or should I just leave him?

I was miserable for years because of our nonexistent sex life! So this "gift" was as much an attempt by my husband to bring happiness and a sense of peace back to our home as it was to fulfill my sexual needs.

I've tried to ignore these "gift" comments in the past or make light of them but I felt the need to finally say something. My husband trying to find a way to help me cope with the situation we find ourselves in is not a gift. It is ultimately not what I want I would prefer to have him! It's a consolation prize at best.

And I thank those that have wanted to be helpful with medical advice but we have asked and continue to ask the doctors for options. At this point we have none.

shall54
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by shall54 » Sat Dec 15, 2018 12:28 am

I'm sorry if my 'gift' comment offended you, but I have to disagree a bit. He is making a sacrifice to maintain your marriage...your vows probably included 'for better and for worse'.

The whole tenor of this post is, you making this all about yourself...you make it seem like sex is the most important part of a relationship, because you were miserable for years...If you were so miserable, what kept you married to him??

You know best how your husband needs to be treated, just don't treat him like a 'consolation prize'.

Happyjohnson
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by Happyjohnson » Sat Dec 15, 2018 4:08 am

Just WOW! Some of the comments you are getting are beyond belief!

On their behalf I apologise to you.

You know how your married life has evolved to the stage that you are now at and the medical condition your husband has including the limitation on your sex life.

Of course he does not enjoy not being able to perform any longer and has allowed you to enjoy sex again after how long, of you not being able to get any?
I take my hat off to you for having the courage to post on a site like this, bare your soul to all and sundry and then get some very back handed comments and critisms!
If they had only walked a few miles in your shoes and experienced some of your heart breaks, trials and challenges, then yes they would be in a position to throw stones.
Please disregard the negative comments and continue to share your story with us.

Kindest Regards
Happy

2inUPMichigan
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sat Dec 15, 2018 5:39 am

shall54 wrote:I'm sorry if my 'gift' comment offended you, but I have to disagree a bit. He is making a sacrifice to maintain your marriage...your vows probably included 'for better and for worse'.

The whole tenor of this post is, you making this all about yourself...you make it seem like sex is the most important part of a relationship, because you were miserable for years...If you were so miserable, what kept you married to him??

You know best how your husband needs to be treated, just don't treat him like a 'consolation prize'.
What an obnoxious and absolutely ridiculous statement! :shock:
You obviously did not understand one bit what I just wrote. I said these hot wife play dates are a poor consolation prize. I will not allow my words to be twisted. I at no time said that sex was the most important part of marriage - you are the only one stating that. It's really hard to believe that you have read through and actually followed my thread and still question why we are still married? :roll: And did you happen to notice that you are on a message board that is called "Our Hot Wives"? So one would expect to find most discussions centered around sex. ;)

My husband is in no way making a sacrifice in maintaining our marriage and you sir are insulting beyond belief! Are you making a sacrifice in maintaining your marriage by leading this lifestyle? As has been said many times here before this is only appropriate for couples that are in a strong relationship to begin with.

I was the one posting, not him so of course it was my voice. When you make a post it is your voice not your wife's voice. Not very hard to understand.
Not sure why the need to attack someone. I did not attack you personally. I was simply making my feelings on the subject finally understood after being silent for months.

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sat Dec 15, 2018 6:14 am

Happyjohnson wrote:Just WOW! Some of the comments you are getting are beyond belief!

On their behalf I apologise to you.

You know how your married life has evolved to the stage that you are now at and the medical condition your husband has including the limitation on your sex life.

Of course he does not enjoy not being able to perform any longer and has allowed you to enjoy sex again after how long, of you not being able to get any?
I take my hat off to you for having the courage to post on a site like this, bare your soul to all and sundry and then get some very back handed comments and critisms!
If they had only walked a few miles in your shoes and experienced some of your heart breaks, trials and challenges, then yes they would be in a position to throw stones.
Please disregard the negative comments and continue to share your story with us.

Kindest Regards
Happy
Thanks Happy - you are a gentleman :up:
It's been a lot longer of a journey to get to this point than I have discussed in the open forum. The effects of prostate cancer and the necessary surgery and treatments can be devastating and life changing for couples. And yes I said "couples". Most doctors actually insist on taking to husbands and wives together before a decision is made on the course of treatment. For many it's not over after surgery. There can be follow up radiation and hormone therapy. Add all these together and you have the possibility of ending up incontinent of bladder, bowel and impotent too (and don't forget the loss of libido). But with any luck it didn't spread to your spine! No it's not a picnic and the six month PSA tests holding our breaths to see if anything shows until we finally get to the point where they can safely say "you are cancer free". But there could be side effects that will continue to show up.

If he knew that someone was insulting me by making posts like that .... My strong silent husband would tell me "You don't need them. They don't know you. Ignore it and don't go back there anymore."

But maybe there is someone reading who is going through this who isn't as far along as I am. Someone who hasn't had the courage to post yet. Someone who knows the heartbreak of watching the challenges your husband goes through with a disease like this knowing there isn't much you can do besides be there and be supportive.

I want to show them that we can be okay and we can come out of this and find a workable solution. We can support our husbands and not lose ourselves completely during the process. We are still women and can't ignore that part of ourselves.

wannabecUKold

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by wannabecUKold » Sat Dec 15, 2018 6:26 am

shall54 wrote:I'm sorry if my 'gift' comment offended you, but I have to disagree a bit. He is making a sacrifice to maintain your marriage...your vows probably included 'for better and for worse'.

The whole tenor of this post is, you making this all about yourself...you make it seem like sex is the most important part of a relationship, because you were miserable for years...If you were so miserable, what kept you married to him??

You know best how your husband needs to be treated, just don't treat him like a 'consolation prize'.
I didn't get that sense at all from 2inUPMichigan.

Lack of sex in a marriage is very corrosive, so frustrating for a spouse that the whole marriage can go down. So OP is right to speak of her need for sex and how miserable she felt without it. OP's husband doesn't want her to be miserable - he loves her and her misery makes him miserable too. So to let her have sex with another man is the right decision for him to make, by far.

And she loves her husband. I didn't get any sense at all that she sees him as her consolation prize - he is her life partner, as I read it.

It's not a matter of 'For better or for worse', it is a matter of them jointly working to remedy the 'worse' and make it considerably better. No-one would choose worse just to prove they are sticking by their vows. What a sanctimonious martyr that would make them.

2inUPMichigan
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sat Dec 15, 2018 6:34 am

wannabecUKold wrote:
shall54 wrote:I'm sorry if my 'gift' comment offended you, but I have to disagree a bit. He is making a sacrifice to maintain your marriage...your vows probably included 'for better and for worse'.

The whole tenor of this post is, you making this all about yourself...you make it seem like sex is the most important part of a relationship, because you were miserable for years...If you were so miserable, what kept you married to him??

You know best how your husband needs to be treated, just don't treat him like a 'consolation prize'.
I didn't get that sense at all from 2inUPMichigan.

Lack of sex in a marriage is very corrosive, so frustrating for a spouse that the whole marriage can go down. So OP is right to speak of her need for sex and how miserable she felt without it. OP's husband doesn't want her to be miserable - he loves her and her misery makes him miserable too. So to let her have sex with another man is the right decision for him to make, by far.

And she loves her husband. I didn't get any sense at all that she sees him as her consolation prize - he is her life partner, as I read it.

It's not a matter of 'For better or for worse', it is a matter of them jointly working to remedy the 'worse' and make it considerably better. No-one would choose worse just to prove they are sticking by their vows. What a sanctimonious martyr that would make them.
Thanks for your support I appreciate it! And yes you truly do "get it" :D the consolation prize is the hot wife lifestyle. My hubby is my partner and will always be first in my heart and life.

wannabecUKold

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by wannabecUKold » Sat Dec 15, 2018 7:14 am

You and your husband have clearly been through some stuff and there may be more. You don't need a whole pile of shit telling you about 'for better or for worse'. I think you've been there, done that in spades together.

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SutterKane
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by SutterKane » Sat Dec 15, 2018 8:45 am

2UP, I'm very glad that your meet up went swimmingly! My desire is that you find a man that you can have as often as you want. Cock on call, if you will.
As to this recent unpleasantness, Some are just insensitive, others project their angst and fear on to you and some mean well, but bungle the execution. I don't think the rest of us are judging you in anyway. I know I'm not.
I have near total ED after a motorcycle wreck a few years ago. I had to plead with my wife to consider finding a Bull. She did not want this! Her condition was that I must always be there and involved with her and her Bull. Do I resent my wife's play? Absofuckinglutely not! Her getting the sex that she and her body crave is better for us both than I ever could imagine. I could have let this turn me bitter, which would have made her bitter, and made our marriage a personal hell for us both. Instead she found the internal strength to move past her feelings of guilt and feeling that this was a betrayal of our vows. I had to work hard to show her this was better for both of us than her burning away her life in form of sexual suttee to show her devotion to me. Even now, she asks how this is making me feel, if I'm truly OK with this and if I want her to stop. Hell, I'd like her to have her Bull 2-3 times a week, if not more! But she thinks that any more that once every week or two would would make her feel guilty. I'm working on sexually freeing her more so she can have what she's told me she really wants, but feels too guilty to let me see her dive in to it and enjoy as much as she truly wants too.
So anyone that thinks that you're being selfish or betraying your husband is a fool. I've seen how hard this was and still is for my wife. She would have said good by to her sexual needs for the rest of her life if I had not forced her to understand the depth of my love for her and her happiness. That being part of getting her needs fulfilled was happiness to me as well. But she still struggles with this. The only part that makes me sad is she wants more of her Bull, but holds back because she doesn't want to hurt me.
Last edited by SutterKane on Sat Dec 15, 2018 8:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
"Women and cats will do as they please,and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea"-Robert Heinlein
"Gratitude is riches and complaint is poverty and the worst I ever had was wonderful"Bro. Dave Gardner
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus!

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coastalkid
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by coastalkid » Sat Dec 15, 2018 8:49 am

First off you need to know that you are are an exceptional woman! You are careful about his heart, you don't go on and on and throw it in his face. Your faith in his love for you allowed you to believe that he wanted this for you because he loves you and wants to give the the most fulfilling life he can. Clearly he is your only TRUE lover! I know that you have shared in his heart breaking that he can't provide the sex life that he wants to be a part of for himself and you. It's obvious that the thing you will always share is your love and devotion to one another and that's something he'll NEVER have to share with ANYONE!

Second, you are very slow to condemn! You show exceptional restraint in your judgement about all things. I see it as a testament to your obvious compassion to others which seems to be an extension of the gratitude in your relationship with your husband! I feel like if were me, I would have complete faith in entrusting my heart you! I can only imagine that your husband knows this ten fold!
Hope is not a strategy but it's still good to have! Especially if you don't have a strategy!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!

2inUPMichigan
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sat Dec 15, 2018 12:54 pm

SutterKane wrote:2UP, I'm very glad that your meet up went swimmingly! My desire is that you find a man that you can have as often as you want. Cock on call, if you will.
As to this recent unpleasantness, Some are just insensitive, others project their angst and fear on to you and some mean well, but bungle the execution. I don't think the rest of us are judging you in anyway. I know I'm not.
I have near total ED after a motorcycle wreck a few years ago. I had to plead with my wife to consider finding a Bull. She did not want this! Her condition was that I must always be there and involved with her and her Bull. Do I resent my wife's play? Absofuckinglutely not! Her getting the sex that she and her body crave is better for us both than I ever could imagine. I could have let this turn me bitter, which would have made her bitter, and made our marriage a personal hell for us both. Instead she found the internal strength to move past her feelings of guilt and feeling that this was a betrayal of our vows. I had to work hard to show her this was better for both of us than her burning away her life in form of sexual suttee to show her devotion to me. Even now, she asks how this is making me feel, if I'm truly OK with this and if I want her to stop. Hell, I'd like her to have her Bull 2-3 times a week, if not more! But she thinks that any more that once every week or two would would make her feel guilty. I'm working on sexually freeing her more so she can have what she's told me she really wants, but feels too guilty to let me see her dive in to it and enjoy as much as she truly wants too.
So anyone that thinks that you're being selfish or betraying your husband is a fool. I've seen how hard this was and still is for my wife. She would have said good by to her sexual needs for the rest of her life if I had not forced her to understand the depth of my love for her and her happiness. That being part of getting her needs fulfilled was happiness to me as well. But she still struggles with this. The only part that makes me sad is she wants more of her Bull, but holds back because she doesn't want to hurt me.
Sounds like your wife and I have some common struggles. It's a difficult balancing act to find the minimum to take the edge off without looking like you are putting too much focus on sex and away from the marriage. The guilt is real and I don't know if it ever goes away. Ignoring our needs as women isn't a good solution in the long run and it is a good thing that men like you and my husband are secure enough to acknowledge that this doesn't have to destroy the relationship. Standing by as our husbands deal with the issues related to ED isn't fun either. Like anything else it takes honest communication and working as a team.
Keep supporting your wife, I can tell you from experience she appreciates it. Weathering these storms together just brings you closer together.

2inUPMichigan
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sat Dec 15, 2018 1:45 pm

coastalkid wrote:First off you need to know that you are are an exceptional woman! You are careful about his heart, you don't go on and on and throw it in his face. Your faith in his love for you allowed you to believe that he wanted this for you because he loves you and wants to give the the most fulfilling life he can. Clearly he is your only TRUE lover! I know that you have shared in his heart breaking that he can't provide the sex life that he wants to be a part of for himself and you. It's obvious that the thing you will always share is your love and devotion to one another and that's something he'll NEVER have to share with ANYONE!

Second, you are very slow to condemn! You show exceptional restraint in your judgement about all things. I see it as a testament to your obvious compassion to others which seems to be an extension of the gratitude in your relationship with your husband! I feel like if were me, I would have complete faith in entrusting my heart you! I can only imagine that your husband knows this ten fold!
CoastalKid thank you for your thoughtful words :D He isn't just my husband I actually like him too :up:
I stood by him and he is standing by me, that's what marriage is all about. We are a team and we are together through the good times and the bad. Traveling through the challenges has only brought us closer together.
People who know us make comments about how close we are, that they are surprised. I guess it isn't surprising then that a total stranger "doesn't get it" either. I do try to turn the other cheek and give people the benefit of the doubt but there comes a time when you have to stand up and set things right.

It's a sign of his complete trust that he wanted me to go solo. He ultimately wanted what would make me most comfortable. He initiated this hot wife journey and he initiated me going solo.

Wanna Be Bob
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by Wanna Be Bob » Sat Dec 15, 2018 2:28 pm

2inUPMichigan,

First, thank you for continuing to post. It is appreciated.
There will always be some who are critical, and do not "get it". It is the way the world is.

Keep on with what you are doing, and recognize that there are many of us who do "get it", understand the wonderful relationship you and your husband have, and are on your side!

2inUPMichigan
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sat Dec 15, 2018 4:05 pm

Wanna Be Bob wrote:2inUPMichigan,

First, thank you for continuing to post. It is appreciated.
There will always be some who are critical, and do not "get it". It is the way the world is.

Keep on with what you are doing, and recognize that there are many of us who do "get it", understand the wonderful relationship you and your husband have, and are on your side!
I shared what is happening on the board today with H and he had a few choice words which I won't share because I'm too polite :D
In the long run this board helps me and others too much to let a few misplaced negative comments push me away.

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by Happyjohnson » Sat Dec 15, 2018 4:15 pm

2inUPMichigan wrote:
Happyjohnson wrote:Just WOW! Some of the comments you are getting are beyond belief!

On their behalf I apologise to you.

You know how your married life has evolved to the stage that you are now at and the medical condition your husband has including the limitation on your sex life.

Of course he does not enjoy not being able to perform any longer and has allowed you to enjoy sex again after how long, of you not being able to get any?
I take my hat off to you for having the courage to post on a site like this, bare your soul to all and sundry and then get some very back handed comments and critisms!
If they had only walked a few miles in your shoes and experienced some of your heart breaks, trials and challenges, then yes they would be in a position to throw stones.
Please disregard the negative comments and continue to share your story with us.

Kindest Regards
Happy
Thanks Happy - you are a gentleman :up:
It's been a lot longer of a journey to get to this point than I have discussed in the open forum. The effects of prostate cancer and the necessary surgery and treatments can be devastating and life changing for couples. And yes I said "couples". Most doctors actually insist on taking to husbands and wives together before a decision is made on the course of treatment. For many it's not over after surgery. There can be follow up radiation and hormone therapy. Add all these together and you have the possibility of ending up incontinent of bladder, bowel and impotent too (and don't forget the loss of libido). But with any luck it didn't spread to your spine! No it's not a picnic and the six month PSA tests holding our breaths to see if anything shows until we finally get to the point where they can safely say "you are cancer free". But there could be side effects that will continue to show up.

If he knew that someone was insulting me by making posts like that .... My strong silent husband would tell me "You don't need them. They don't know you. Ignore it and don't go back there anymore."

But maybe there is someone reading who is going through this who isn't as far along as I am. Someone who hasn't had the courage to post yet. Someone who knows the heartbreak of watching the challenges your husband goes through with a disease like this knowing there isn't much you can do besides be there and be supportive.

I want to show them that we can be okay and we can come out of this and find a workable solution. We can support our husbands and not lose ourselves completely during the process. We are still women and can't ignore that part of ourselves.
"2inUPMichigan"
Unfortunately those who have not suffered the consequences of cancer can never appreciate the mental anguish suffered by both the cancer patiernt and spouse.
My wife has had breast cancer 4 times now, with each new diagnosis, our worlds just crumble into disbelief and disgust that it can return once again, BUT, a brave face has to be put in place by the both of us to face our children and the rest of the world and we just have to soldier on and make the best of a "Bum" deal we have been dealt. This last occurrence resulted in radiation treatment that has knocked her around considerably, both mentally and physically, the aftermath still having effects 2 years later that will continue indefinitely.
What options do we have - make the best of still having my wife alive and with me. A lot of others are not this lucky and we willingly make the necessary sacrifices accordingly.
I sincerely hope you are able to gain the maximum satisfaction from your new sex partners but not to the detriment of your hubbies mental well being.
Your husband is a hero for insisting and assisting you into this lifestyle thus ensuring your physical and mental satisfaction and well being. How many men in this situation could do what he has done - very few I'm sure!
Heres wishing you both a happy fulfilled life going forward and all the best for the "New Year" and "New Beginnings" around the corner.

Happy

shall54
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by shall54 » Sat Dec 15, 2018 4:22 pm

Ok,ok, no problem, I will back off. I in no way intended to upset you this much. My intent was to foster a discussion around how your husband was dealing with all this. If that was inappropriate, I'm sorry.

2inUPMichigan
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sun Dec 16, 2018 5:30 am

Happyjohnson wrote:
2inUPMichigan wrote:
Happyjohnson wrote:Just WOW! Some of the comments you are getting are beyond belief!

On their behalf I apologise to you.

You know how your married life has evolved to the stage that you are now at and the medical condition your husband has including the limitation on your sex life.

Of course he does not enjoy not being able to perform any longer and has allowed you to enjoy sex again after how long, of you not being able to get any?
I take my hat off to you for having the courage to post on a site like this, bare your soul to all and sundry and then get some very back handed comments and critisms!
If they had only walked a few miles in your shoes and experienced some of your heart breaks, trials and challenges, then yes they would be in a position to throw stones.
Please disregard the negative comments and continue to share your story with us.

Kindest Regards
Happy
Thanks Happy - you are a gentleman :up:
It's been a lot longer of a journey to get to this point than I have discussed in the open forum. The effects of prostate cancer and the necessary surgery and treatments can be devastating and life changing for couples. And yes I said "couples". Most doctors actually insist on taking to husbands and wives together before a decision is made on the course of treatment. For many it's not over after surgery. There can be follow up radiation and hormone therapy. Add all these together and you have the possibility of ending up incontinent of bladder, bowel and impotent too (and don't forget the loss of libido). But with any luck it didn't spread to your spine! No it's not a picnic and the six month PSA tests holding our breaths to see if anything shows until we finally get to the point where they can safely say "you are cancer free". But there could be side effects that will continue to show up.

If he knew that someone was insulting me by making posts like that .... My strong silent husband would tell me "You don't need them. They don't know you. Ignore it and don't go back there anymore."

But maybe there is someone reading who is going through this who isn't as far along as I am. Someone who hasn't had the courage to post yet. Someone who knows the heartbreak of watching the challenges your husband goes through with a disease like this knowing there isn't much you can do besides be there and be supportive.

I want to show them that we can be okay and we can come out of this and find a workable solution. We can support our husbands and not lose ourselves completely during the process. We are still women and can't ignore that part of ourselves.
"2inUPMichigan"
Unfortunately those who have not suffered the consequences of cancer can never appreciate the mental anguish suffered by both the cancer patiernt and spouse.
My wife has had breast cancer 4 times now, with each new diagnosis, our worlds just crumble into disbelief and disgust that it can return once again, BUT, a brave face has to be put in place by the both of us to face our children and the rest of the world and we just have to soldier on and make the best of a "Bum" deal we have been dealt. This last occurrence resulted in radiation treatment that has knocked her around considerably, both mentally and physically, the aftermath still having effects 2 years later that will continue indefinitely.
What options do we have - make the best of still having my wife alive and with me. A lot of others are not this lucky and we willingly make the necessary sacrifices accordingly.
I sincerely hope you are able to gain the maximum satisfaction from your new sex partners but not to the detriment of your hubbies mental well being.
Your husband is a hero for insisting and assisting you into this lifestyle thus ensuring your physical and mental satisfaction and well being. How many men in this situation could do what he has done - very few I'm sure!
Heres wishing you both a happy fulfilled life going forward and all the best for the "New Year" and "New Beginnings" around the corner.

Happy
Being the spouse of someone with cancer has it's own challenges for sure. You never are quite sure if it will ever raise it's ugly head again. I'm so sorry to hear that the two of you have had to fight this battle so many times!!
We too are thankful that hubby is alive but the ongoing consequences of having this horrible diagnosis are never very far from our mind. We have been warned of more potential side effects that can occur down the road.
I took care of him and continue to do so, protecting his dignity and covering for him so that the issues he has do not get exposed. (I put him first always.)
I don't look at either of us as heroes or making sacrifices. We are just a very close married couple who are doing whatever we can to support and care for each other and work as a team. We made a commitment when we got married and we meant it.

2inUPMichigan
VHW Admin
Posts: 6261
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sun Dec 16, 2018 7:14 pm

I have family in town so I will be spending time with them and won't be around as much (probably).
I will have to sneak in some time to chat with M and H when the family isn't paying attention :cool:

At least I have some hot memories to focus on from Thursday if I get stressed out. :up: :whip: :D

Her number1

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by Her number1 » Mon Dec 17, 2018 7:25 am

I'm late responding to the recent rudeness you were exposed to but, for what it's worth, Farmgirl and I believe you are doing it right. The part of your life that you allow us to be a part of is a 'day brightener' for us. Best wishes to you and your's.

Whosbeensleeping

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by Whosbeensleeping » Mon Dec 17, 2018 8:27 am

Dear 2,

I like you a lot, and for me at least you have become the moral compass and backbone of this discussion board and sometimes the only thing that makes it worth reading.
Seeing you attacked by a moralistic fuckhead makes me sick to my stomach and fills me with murderous rage.
Your eloquent grace in defending yourself is just another example of your stirling character.
Thank you for everything you bring here.

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leann
Prepubescent
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2018 11:07 am

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by leann » Thu Dec 20, 2018 9:12 am

So happy for you dear 2inUPMichigan; Awesome journey, i've read all the pages and i am fascinated about the development.

For all critical comments and their authors i have 2 words. Unfortunately i can't write down these on the board but guys feel free to PM me :D .

Keep us posted and take care of yourself.

Leann

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