New and still figuring it all out

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viking43

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by viking43 » Tue Aug 14, 2018 2:51 pm

That would work too though isn't polite. But sending unsolicited dick pics isn't polite either, so ignoring or even blocking him would be ok in my book - he asked for it himself :)

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Tue Aug 14, 2018 3:17 pm

Hubby put in his .02 when I had him read the text (including the pictures) He said don't respond at all, leave it alone and he will go away. He says I am too nice and this guy is obviously not nice or respectful.

Hubby suggested that I might want to change our profile to somehow make it clear that we are looking for someone who is respectful, not pushy and no unsolicited dick pics!

The guy was very pushy! (more I didn't post about)

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by Passion4sharingamy » Tue Aug 14, 2018 5:39 pm

Even though I still can "get it up," being that I am now 48, I am starting to see slight effects of ED...and it helps me feel better still about how my younger wife Amy (39) is free to enjoy the stamina and "hardness" of younger men if she really wants that... Even after 7 years after her first HW experience, she still has moments when she feels a concern to tell me how much she loves me, even though she "plays" with some other men for fun once in a while, but nothing more. Anyhow, there are risks...just know that. Jim
Jealousy comes from fear and insecurity. There is no jealousy in true love. If we care, we should be willing to share.

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Wed Aug 15, 2018 5:19 pm

There is a chance we might be meeting up with one of the guys in about three weeks!
Still working out the details - Oh Wow.

Now I need to figure out if I want him to be our first real hotwife experience or not. At this point we are just talking about a meet and greet with no expectations.

Debating between him and one other man for the first experience. Both are good options.

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by superb101 » Wed Aug 15, 2018 7:01 pm

Are either or both married? What attributes are you looking for?

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Wed Aug 15, 2018 7:37 pm

superb101 wrote:Are either or both married? What attributes are you looking for?
No these two are single men.
They are both very open and easy to communicate with.


What am I looking for, honestly, just the right feeling or fit. I know that may sound vague but I am getting closer to it :) There is never any hesitation in answering any questions that I ask and they are both open almost anything. :cool:

I am slowly bringing up any concerns that I may have with each one and addressing them. That will lead me closer to that ultimate decision and then look out!!!! Because once I make up my mind, the plans will be made.

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Thu Aug 16, 2018 5:08 am

Update - texted pictures to the two single guys last night.

Got a very positive response from one of the guys - he actually started sending me messages while he was still at work. So no worries from him on what he thought of me :) And when he got home the conversation heated up some


The other guy, it doesn't seem like he saw them because he is always very responsive and it was crickets on his end.

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Mr1SexyGILF
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by Mr1SexyGILF » Thu Aug 16, 2018 5:38 am

2inUPMichigan wrote:Update - texted pictures to the two single guys last night.

Got a very positive response from one of the guys - he actually started sending me messages while he was still at work. So no worries from him on what he thought of me :) And when he got home the conversation heated up some


The other guy, it doesn't seem like he saw them because he is always very responsive and it was crickets on his end.
:up:

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Thu Aug 16, 2018 6:34 am

Hehe, opening SLS I'm getting more men contacting me - even without posting any pictures!
How will I ever keep up (she says with a sly smirk) ;)

I don't get why a man would contact me and say he will be in my area a few times a year? There might also be a red flag on that one - time will tell.

Trying to enjoy the process while keeping the goal front and center. So I have possible(s) and potentials at this point with the two potentials moving forward fairly quickly.
Good thing I am good at multitasking!!

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by JaBe » Thu Aug 16, 2018 10:15 am

2inUPMichigan wrote:Thanks for the input. You are both right, I just need to tell him this we aren't a good fit?

Do I really have to tell him anything? Or just stop communicating? New to all this still.
You could just send him the text of your earlier post. You might help educate him just how much women like an unsolicited dick pic after zero flirting

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by superb101 » Thu Aug 16, 2018 5:42 pm

So hot to read. I can see you entertaining two or three men at one time in the future.

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Thu Aug 16, 2018 6:56 pm

superb101 wrote:So hot to read. I can see you entertaining two or three men at one time in the future.
:cool: Never say never, right?
The future is full of possibilities and I promised myself I would be above all open and honest with myself.

I don't want to say "coulda shoulda woulda", you know?
We shall see, whatever feels right for the both of us is the direction that we will take.

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by superb101 » Fri Aug 17, 2018 2:37 pm

You will be unstoppable once you have your first time!

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coastalkid
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by coastalkid » Fri Aug 17, 2018 6:22 pm

2inUPMichigan wrote:
superb101 wrote:So hot to read. I can see you entertaining two or three men at one time in the future.
:cool: Never say never, right?
The future is full of possibilities and I promised myself I would be above all open and honest with myself.

I don't want to say "coulda shoulda woulda", you know?
We shall see, whatever feels right for the both of us is the direction that we will take.
This alone makes you a very remarkable woman! It's easy to use the excuse that you're too (insert your favorite reason for rejection here) to do anything new and liberating! You may have a beautiful body but I think your attitude is even more appealing!
Hope is not a strategy but it's still good to have! Especially if you don't have a strategy!
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Fri Aug 17, 2018 8:56 pm

coastalkid wrote:
2inUPMichigan wrote:
superb101 wrote:So hot to read. I can see you entertaining two or three men at one time in the future.
:cool: Never say never, right?
The future is full of possibilities and I promised myself I would be above all open and honest with myself.

I don't want to say "coulda shoulda woulda", you know?
We shall see, whatever feels right for the both of us is the direction that we will take.
This alone makes you a very remarkable woman! It's easy to use the excuse that you're too (insert your favorite reason for rejection here) to do anything new and liberating! You may have a beautiful body but I think your attitude is even more appealing!
Thanks for the vote of confidence :up:
It has been interesting that through all this I almost have to remind myself to not only check in with my husband from time to time but check in with myself. I have to review things to make sure I am being open to each possibility and not "steering the boat" too much in one direction. This whole lifestyle is new and liberating :lol:

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by superb101 » Sat Aug 18, 2018 2:55 am

I totally agree with coastalkid. There is something special in a woman when she decides to go after what she really wants sexually. Your attitude is intoxicating.

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sat Aug 18, 2018 7:33 am

Either I am reading things wrong or I just "scared off" at least one of the single guys!
It was after I sent him the pictures and he seemed to be responding well to them. I asked him for another picture of himself (only saw one that was in his profile) and he said he would take another for me. I haven't heard from him in a few days, but I can see that he was on SLS? The other thing is that during our conversation the subject of condoms came up. He says he is "hung" and that most of them don't fit right. I of course suggest magnums and he seems to take that in stride, but now I don't know?
Maybe I am reading this wrong and he is just busy? But he has always been so eager to text me before and suddenly no contact in a couple days when I can see he has been online on SLS?
I need input on this one:
Will I hear from him again?
What kind of condoms can I suggest or should I maybe buy myself to make sure I have some in case I meet him?
Could he have been just faking it about my pictures?

Yep - sounding insecure and I know it! (Especially since the other guy hasn't responded at all since I sent my pictures!)

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by sherulestherooster » Sat Aug 18, 2018 8:42 am

My wife also found her partners on SLS. It's a numbers game. Some seem like real prospects and maybe they're just pretenders. Just move on - no harm, no foul. Sounded like he was trying to come up with an excuse for not wearing condoms, I'm pretty sure they make a size he can use. Getting a few types/sizes sounds like a good idea.
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sat Aug 18, 2018 9:06 am

sherulestherooster wrote:My wife also found her partners on SLS. It's a numbers game. Some seem like real prospects and maybe they're just pretenders. Just move on - no harm, no foul. Sounded like he was trying to come up with an excuse for not wearing condoms, I'm pretty sure they make a size he can use. Getting a few types/sizes sounds like a good idea.

Thanks I was thinking it was an excuse too.
I was on a condom website last night :roll: and they have some sample packs - thinking maybe I might be worth investing in a couple different ones to have on hand.

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by ckathrill » Sat Aug 18, 2018 9:20 am

2inUPMichigan wrote:Either I am reading things wrong or I just "scared off" at least one of the single guys!
It was after I sent him the pictures and he seemed to be responding well to them. I asked him for another picture of himself (only saw one that was in his profile) and he said he would take another for me. I haven't heard from him in a few days, but I can see that he was on SLS? The other thing is that during our conversation the subject of condoms came up. He says he is "hung" and that most of them don't fit right. I of course suggest magnums and he seems to take that in stride, but now I don't know?
Maybe I am reading this wrong and he is just busy? But he has always been so eager to text me before and suddenly no contact in a couple days when I can see he has been online on SLS?
I need input on this one:
Will I hear from him again?
What kind of condoms can I suggest or should I maybe buy myself to make sure I have some in case I meet him?
Could he have been just faking it about my pictures?

Yep - sounding insecure and I know it! (Especially since the other guy hasn't responded at all since I sent my pictures!)
I have been at this long enough to know when someone is not serious. "Most don't fit right" Is a lame thing to say. Move on and do not waste your time. My guess is 80 % of guys are not really serious.

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sat Aug 18, 2018 9:38 am

ckathrill wrote:
2inUPMichigan wrote:Either I am reading things wrong or I just "scared off" at least one of the single guys!
It was after I sent him the pictures and he seemed to be responding well to them. I asked him for another picture of himself (only saw one that was in his profile) and he said he would take another for me. I haven't heard from him in a few days, but I can see that he was on SLS? The other thing is that during our conversation the subject of condoms came up. He says he is "hung" and that most of them don't fit right. I of course suggest magnums and he seems to take that in stride, but now I don't know?
Maybe I am reading this wrong and he is just busy? But he has always been so eager to text me before and suddenly no contact in a couple days when I can see he has been online on SLS?
I need input on this one:
Will I hear from him again?
What kind of condoms can I suggest or should I maybe buy myself to make sure I have some in case I meet him?
Could he have been just faking it about my pictures?

Yep - sounding insecure and I know it! (Especially since the other guy hasn't responded at all since I sent my pictures!)
I have been at this long enough to know when someone is not serious. "Most don't fit right" Is a lame thing to say. Move on and do not waste your time. My guess is 80 % of guys are not really serious.
Thanks for your support. I thought it was lame too!
I really wouldn't have minded just keeping at flirty online talking with him and never meeting if that was an issue for him. I don't have to meet every man I talk to online.
So glad I don't send nude photos!

Just frustrating when we seemed to get along and now I am down to one good potential for the first time and he hasn't been in contact since before I sent my pictures. (But he was making plans to vacation up this way)

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by zorro » Sat Aug 18, 2018 1:20 pm

Try to reframe this as your husband and you allowing an extra guy to strengthen your marriage by adding more sexual energy and fulfillment to it.

Your husband's offer is a gift. My prediction is that if you do it, you will be pleased and feel closer to one another, especially if your husband is present during the encounter.

Over the years there have been many testimonies here to the powerful force that HW has had on bringing a couple even closer together and building trust and intimacy.

You will help your husband to not feel he is disappointing you, and you will be amazed at how good other partners can feel. Women were born to have multiple sex partners. Your husband is encouraging you to be true to your own nature. Take him up on it. You can always stop if you don't like it. But I bet you will happily continue.

Were I in your husband's situation I would insist on R continuing to take lovers. It is the loving thing for a man to do.
Sharing your partner is a very loving act. Double her pleasure; double your fun.
Kevin Foster, The Three Marriage Enigmas: ". . . sex with a man other than her husband is simply the most erotic sex possible for a woman."

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sat Aug 18, 2018 2:13 pm

It's always been about the two of us and our relationship.
But I still have to be the one to put myself out there and communicate with these guys to form the connections and get everything set up.
He will give him input if there are red flags and he will be there in the room during any play.

The issue now is getting to that point.
I'm not going into this looking for a one night stand because of our situation. I am hoping to find a couple men that will stick around for a little while at least on a somewhat regular basis.

I have no issues having "online" flirting connections with guys that don't go further just wish they would be honest about it. I would probably be one that would welcome that as I could practice on them LOL

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by superb101 » Sun Aug 19, 2018 4:58 am

Are you dressing any different these days?

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by ckathrill » Sun Aug 19, 2018 7:46 am

I think the proper attitude towards this is that it is a hobby - doing searches and interacting via email. And sooner or later you will get lucky and hit a goldmine! i recommend that you get a face photo from any guy. if he does not want to share that, move on. Then share your cell - it show you are serious. If he texts you, then move to stage 3. At this point I - the guy - tell him i intend to call to chat briefly. If he does not want to speak first before a meeting, move on and forget him. This KiK thing too is BS. if he want to remain that anonymous, he probably is not serious anyway. In this way you minimize the possibility of being stood up at a potential meeting. good luck !

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