question re: married men - poll

[inivisibletwin]

okay, i have a real question...

this morning i got a message from a friend i haven't talked to in a while. nothing bad happened, there was no falling out or anything, we just got busy. you know, life n' stuff.

a few years ago, this friend had sex with my girlfriend. they spent the night together twice. at the time, she didn't have a boyfriend, or an owner, or any of that. it was just her and i. so we were looking for another guy for her have sex with, and i knew he was single, so i hit him up and offered to let him fuck my girl. he talked to me about it for a long time afterward, as some of the best sex he's ever had.

shortly after that, he started dating some one. about two years later, my girl and i attending his wedding. that was about a year and a half ago. (timelines are rough, i dont remember exactly.)

this morning, roughly a year and a half after my girl and i attending his wedding, he messaged me. he said he still thinks about the sex he had with my girlfriend, the sex with his wife is good, but not as good. he wants to know if he can hook up with my girl again.

i have not responded to the message. as far as i know, it was sent behind his wife's back, and im guessing he would want to keep it from his wife.

i have not yet told her pussy's owner. i have not yet done anything about this yet.

if he wasn't married, there would be no hesitation. of course he could have a go... but...

here's my question:

guys, how do you feel about your wive's / girlfriend's hooking up with married men?
ladies, how do you feel about hooking up with married men?

[adamgunnauthor]

Okay, this is much too complicated a subject to be answered by only three options. (Three for husbands, three for wives.)

If my wife came to me and said she wanted to have sex with a married man, we'd talk about it. Does the wife know, or does he have a hall pass? Is he cheating, and if so, why? Is the risk of sleeping with this guy worth the possible sexy reward? How much does she trust him / I should meet him and give her a second opinion.

i always enjoy it when Mary has sex with someone else, but sometimes it's better to just say no . . .

And yes, at times my wife has had sex with married men who have hall passes and who we know are cheating.

[samlowen]

My wife will not sleep with a married man who is cheating. She doesn’t want to be part of anything that could hurt someone like that. If the wife is okay with it, my wife is. Both of us feel that cheaters suck and there are so many other men who don’t have to lie so why bother.

[Iamgroot]

My wife is exactly like that of Samlowen. She wants to have the blessing of the wife before she proceeds. It's not fair to the wife and she doesn't like a cheater or liar.

[SilverStag]

Neither my HW nor I will play with a married (note this doesn't include legally separated) person, nor a person in a committed relationship, without their spouse's specific approval. Karma is a bitch!

[samlowen]

I should have added this to my prior post...

Years ago my wife was approached by a married man (someone we both knew) about sleeping with her. My wife wasn't too interested in him but was interested in his wife. I was interested in his wife as well. Instead of saying yes or no to the married man, she countered, explaining that both of us fancied his wife and that we would be happy to have some group fun together. He declined our offer, saying his wife wouldn't be interested (we don't think he even asked her). If either of you have an interest in spending some time in bed with her, you might consider offering a swap or group sex as a way to get around the whole cheating angle. If he's serious enough about sleeping with your girlfriend, he just might consider talking to his wife.

[SSQ]

I won't facilitate cheating. There have been a couple of good threads on this recently so I don't know that it needs to be rehashed again.

[CplFL]

My lady almost exclusively sees married men. They don’t get attached to her and aren’t demanding of time like single guys. Most of the fit handsome classy men over 40 with money for dating are married. It’s the man who is responsible for knowing and honoring his agreements with his wife. My lady did not make any agreements with anyone’s wife nor does she care to get into the details about a third party agreement. However almost all the guys make it a point to say that they are on the hunt because their wife doesn’t have sex with them. My lady doesn’t believe that and doesn’t respond to those kinds of comments.

[2inUPMichigan]

You will always get polar opposite views on this question.
Always follow your gut reaction and do what is right for the two of you.
It should not matter what anyone else's answer is it only matters what the two of you decide is right for you.


Having said that for me it comes down to respect and personal responsibility.

If a man does not respect his marriage and his wife he certainly isn't going to respect me and my marriage. If he is lying to her he is lying to me too - I may just not know what he is lying about. If he can't honor his commitments to her he won't honor any commitments to me.

If I knowingly had sex with a married man and his wife found out she would have every right to come looking for me. I would stand up and take responsibility for my part in it because I take responsibility for my actions. If it doesn't bother you to have sex with a married man then it shouldn't bother you to have the conversation with his wife if she comes looking.

[c_takeme]

I just love having sex with men - married, single - even groups of them! LOL

Kisses
C

[annsman]

Our feeling is that his marriage is his concern not ours. However, Ann draws the line at her friends husband’s unless the approve - only one so far.

[afagehi7]

Our feeling is that his marriage is his concern not ours. However, Ann draws the line at her friends husband’s unless the approve - only one so far.

That's a good perspective IMHO. If she knows the wife then it becomes personal.

[VictorCharlie]

I dont have a strong opinion on the matter but we like an ongoing thing. I think an unknowing spouse adds a degree of potential drama and scheduling issues we would prefer to avoid.

[hereforthebeer]

My wife also feels that a man's marriage is not her concern. If he wants to cheat on his wife then that's a problem for the two of them to handle if and when it comes up. My wife only concerns herself with the man and what he brings to the table. She has specific things she looks for like ability to have a nice conversations. Etc.

Quite often married men cheat because they are just cheaters at heart. But other times it really is because the couple are on different planets in terms of libido. Or other issues.

I currently ave a GF who is married and her husband doesn't have a clue. For him, sex is a sprint... in 10 minutes he is in and done and out and ASLEEP! She got him to go to counseling and as far as he is concerned, they don't have a problem. She is with him still because of their 4 children... 21, 17, 14, and 9. But that is going to end at some point. In the meantime, she wants love and affection and by god and orgasm now and then would be nice too.

[Laveenguy]

My wife considers herself an "ethical slut". It wasn't always that way, but is where she has landed after many years. Consensual non-monogamy is a better choice for us.

[warmnsalty]

I do all the "hunting" for our thirds. I look for married/attached guys over singles. To us, it's his deal not ours, we don't look for boyfriends or ongoing cocks for her, almost all of our adventures are one offs. Realize we all have our own rules and ways to play, for us this works. Married/attached guys work best for us. They are way more reliable, single guys flake more often than not. When I was a single M in the lifestyle I can't tell you the number of couples who were surprised I showed up for the meet and greet drink, When we started as a couple, it wasn't long before I realized how true that was. So attached guys show up.

We are a "fuck her bare" couple, so beyond the fact that they show up, they are discreet and safe, of course you have to vet to make sure everything is a go. The fact they are fucking my wife with our without their sig others permission makes no diff to us, we just want his cock in her. I used to have great luck with CL plenty of good looking horny married biz travelers available, now that it's shut down it's been harder to find them but I keep looking.