Her Plan to Dip Toe in Hotwife Water

[slenderfish]

Okay, this string will be our story, blog, etc. I posted otherwise in this forum regarding her request to have a therapist for me/her/us as an additional resource and safety valve, because she's adamant to keep our marriage strong and fully together, and is uncertain about what we don't know and may encounter. I've agreed to put that into place. Here's the link:

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=59371

Also posted images in the Hotties section, to provide a vision of her and to add context to the background and the journey. Here's the link:

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=59393

So I'll just start from where we sit today, and then fill in the back story which is mostly ready also to share:

Two days ago I dug up the business card of the guy she is proposing as the first dipping of her toe into this water. She noted that she already had his number in her phone, in that she had tried to set him up with one of her friends last year. I guess I knew at some level that she could get into contact with him via these other friends, but I'd told her when she brought him up as a potential suitor, that I may still have his card and that I'd find it for her. This as an act of good faith and a reminder that I'm supportive of her foray, and to a degree to gently nudge it along.

She is traveling to his area in a couple of weeks to visit her family, and said she would set it up for while there. A meet and greet, perhaps some kissing, etc. is what she noted she is envisioning.

There is a good back story that I've started to compile, and when I post it you may gather more of the whole picture as it stands today. I hope to get this done soon, so that we may have a vigorous conversation (you and other commenters) in the lead-up, etc.

As an example, she had already booked the hotel in an area of town that is closer to her family. But the hotel she and I usually stay at, when in the area, is much nicer, is out of the city closer to a lakefront, and is more romantic. When she booked this trip it was solely for the family purpose and she went for cost savings and proximity to family. She subsequently noted that this could be the best opportunity for initial hotwife foray, and started the contacting. This past Friday I received a promo from the romantic hotel at a pretty good discount; in addition, this nicer hotel is quite close to where her potential suitor lives and is an area with a relatively active night life. I forwarded the promo to her the next morning, to see if she might suggest changing over to it.

She did take the suggestion and called the location to get pricing. She noted to me that she'd done this, but was unsure about committing to the extra spend. She tossed it back in my court to decide. Early this morning, I investigated the offer and found a better deal than she'd found, so I booked it for her. Now we have two bookings, each can be cancelled without penalty until just before her travel. The nicer hotel is still substantially more cost. We'll see how she decides to pursue this.

She assures me she has done the initial text connections to start setting this up. She also asked about some practical elements, such as how to keep this on the down-low, how to explain to the guy her situation, etc. I suggested a variety of approaches. This shows she is really thinking about it, and running it through her mind.

Should I be asking her to show me her text messages at this point? I don't want to be pushy, but also want to set the foundation that really establishes our doing this together, versus her treating as a generic hall pass. I suppose it's effectively both at this point.

She has also started the uptick in sexual interest, that I was hoping and expecting, and that many have observed comes along with the opening of the mindset. She has begun actively narrating the fantasy while we are making love, telling me how she will enjoy his interest in her, the seduction, the nervousness of intimacy with a new man, the new feeling when he enters her, all of it! She is more turned on during all of this, as evidenced by her mental and physical response.

We were at a small pool party on Friday evening and after a couple of glasses of wine, and while we were all (seven of us) in the pool and/or hanging over into the jacuzzi part of the pool, the wife in her bikini, she interrupted my conversation and just did a full french kiss makeout in front of everyone, almost to the point of embarrassment. First time anything like this in 11 years of marriage. But of course everyone knows and loves her and all we got was "get a room" as commentary.

I believe this is all showing positive momentum. Are we on the right track?

[36DDwife]

Hell yes you’re on the right track. Sounds like you’re about to join the hotwife husband ranks. Welcome!

[linkbkw]

Congrats...always good when the wife is taking initiative with planning. Good luck and you wife is incredibly sexy.

[BallSpanking]

You are the beneficiary of her newfound sexiness, or at least one of them.

[DLD]

Sounds like you’re on the right track!

[Bandhubby]

If she's gone from fantasizing to the detail planning stage for a meetup with a specific man, then I'd say you're right on the threshold...congratulations!
My advice is to give her as much freedom as you can stand to, and do whatever you can to support it and make it a positive experience for her. The upgraded room is a great gesture. Maybe buy her a dress or lingerie for the occasion.
Not sure how to advise you about seeing the texts, but I wouldn't badger her about it...I would express interest but let her decide how to share the details when she's ready.
And expect some moments when you get cold feet-don't transmit it to her. She might have moments like that too, be reassuring rather than adding to her anxiety. This carries tons of variables and what ifs for her, don't let yourself be one of them.

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum Bandhubby.

[slenderfish]

If she's gone from fantasizing to the detail planning stage for a meetup with a specific man, then I'd say you're right on the threshold...congratulations!
My advice is to give her as much freedom as you can stand to, and do whatever you can to support it and make it a positive experience for her. The upgraded room is a great gesture. Maybe buy her a dress or lingerie for the occasion.
Not sure how to advise you about seeing the texts, but I wouldn't badger her about it...I would express interest but let her decide how to share the details when she's ready.
And expect some moments when you get cold feet-don't transmit it to her. She might have moments like that too, be reassuring rather than adding to her anxiety. This carries tons of variables and what ifs for her, don't let yourself be one of them.

Thanks Bandhubby for the thoughts and encouragement.

I just got the notification that she did take the option of the upgraded hotel (again, it's more romantic location on the lake and also within easy walking distance of beautiful outdoor seating upscale bars, etc.). It's also much closer to where her target lives.

Let's call him Mr. K.

She made the change earlier today, in that she cancelled the original reservation. She has not yet told me of this recent development. But it is directionally consistent with her general concept.

I'm past the cold feet elements, as far as I can tell. But I suppose one never knows until it's right there.

[slenderfish]

Okay, tonight she did mention the cancellation of the vanilla hotel in favor of the romantic one.

She asked for a bit of a heart-to-heart communication and was needing reassurance. I provided my best and was rewarded with her then adding that she has been texting something along the line of "let's get a group together when I'm in town next week" or similar. His reply was "a group or perhaps just the two of us." She shared this detail with me and noted that it seems to go against her nature to not immediately shut down this line of thinking. That is, she naturally keeps men from thinking they might have a chance and cuts off this train of thought either before it develops or as it develops. She said she feels guilty not shutting it down. I asked her to reframe her feeling of guilt into a feeling of uncertainty regarding the unknown. No reason for guilt here.

I again encouraged her by pointing out a) my appreciation for her to even consider this whole concept, let alone her actually taking even any affirmative steps; b) that I do encourage her to share the developments and her thoughts and feelings as much as she feels safe and comfortable, in that we are doing this "together"; and c) that I can assist her in the approach by reminding her she should not feel guilty but of course it's outside of her usual process and will naturally feel different, and also I can assist with the text reply to keep his interest without her coming across as too forward.

She pointed out that she is doing this for me, and I reminded her that this should be for her, that she is picking out the guy she wants to pursue, etc. and that there are these benefits that she will almost certainly be gleaning as a woman, to wit:

- The satisfaction of being pursued by a a man she finds very attractive
- The knowledge that her husband loves and supports her
- The benefit of a bit of competition for her attentions
- Some emotional lift in NRE as a welcome antidote to this Covid-19 environment
- A potential freeing of her mind and growth of her sexuality, enjoying the gifts her body provides to herself

I also summarized to her the benefits I believe I will get from it. I finally pointed out to her my raging hard-on as a result of this conversation, as an added demonstration of my earnestness.

We had a nice kiss and hug and retired for the night.

[wocka-wocka]

You sound like you are being very supportive, and that's great!

But, be clear with her, she can decide against it, slow down, etc. She has to know nothing changes in your relationship if she decides to go further on whatever time schedule she wants. It has to be " for her " and a less so for you. Be very cautious about statements like "I did this for you..." insecurities and regret can be rough..

[36DDwife]

You sound like you are being very supportive, and that's great!

But, be clear with her, she can decide against it, slow down, etc. She has to know nothing changes in your relationship if she decides to go further on whatever time schedule she wants. It has to be " for her " and a less so for you. Be very cautious about statements like "I did this for you..." insecurities and regret can be rough..

My wife has used & still uses this statement with me especially when a date goes south. It makes me cringe.

[slenderfish]

You sound like you are being very supportive, and that's great!

But, be clear with her, she can decide against it, slow down, etc. She has to know nothing changes in your relationship if she decides to go further on whatever time schedule she wants. It has to be " for her " and a less so for you. Be very cautious about statements like "I did this for you..." insecurities and regret can be rough..

My wife has used & still uses this statement with me especially when a date goes south. It makes me cringe.

The bane of a hot husband's existence, but of course necessary.

[slenderfish]

Never say never, but remember timing is everything. I posted this as a reply to another string, but it really belongs here because it's the most recent chapter in our background story.

I'd lurked on this board for many years and paid attention to the debating, thinking, conjecturing and also particularly to those whose wives eventually made the mental and physical leap.

Common to all of these, in my version of summary, and also my personal experience, are as follows:

THE ONSET AND INTRODUCTION

1) Husband's fancy gets fired up (for whatever reason).

2) Husband keeps to himself for some period, perhaps years, before accepting.

3) Husband at some point decides to trust wife with this knowledge.

I'll interject here that the husband has a natural prediliction for it, and has already spend a lot of time gaining acceptance and then activation. The wife, who is probably not naturally desirous of this, is suddenly very far behind the husband and needs to catch up. But first needs to desire to catch up.

4) Wife's initial reaction may be to be turned off and resist. This adds another layer, to move to the next point.

TRANSITION AND ACCEPTANCE

5) Passage of time wherein it becomes clear this is not a passing fancy.

6) Wife desires to understand Husband's motivation, the nature of the request, e.g. "I never expected this in my marriage, what's the deal?"

7) Wife starts catching up in her head, at least to understand (and maybe not fully embrace) the point of view.

8) Wife's ideation regarding what it might be like (including commentary of "I can't see myself with another man" and "I'm not attractive enough" etc.) can actually be signs of progress.

9) This progress of ideation may include introduction of fantasy talk in the bedroom, role playing, porn videos, etc.

10) Wife's self-image of attractiveness. If she continues to discuss this, it may be a sign she's actually thought about it and her biggest hurdle at this point is her fear of rejection or similar, based on her concept of how she looks. This is time to encourage wardrobe upgrades, physical fitness training and related, hair appointments, all of it. Tell her how a beauty such as her should be getting the nice things that enhance her look and confidence.

11) Girls' nights out. This can be a very helpful element, in that she will certainly have motivation to look good for the girls when going out. She is dressing up for herself and them, and can justify the extra shine and hotness element to herself from that perspective. Sooner or later, the girls will discuss men and/or get attention from men, etc. even if she never mentions it. You can even compliment her look when she goes out, something like "Wow you look great, I'm sure all your girlfriends will be jealous, and I'm also sure you'll get attention from any men who may be around."

WIFE AND ANOTHER MAN - PROVE THE CONCEPT

12) This is the fantasy talk, the small conversations about men looking at her while you are out, the pillow talk of "if you ever, what is your type" or reference a celebrity, etc. If she can actively envision herself with another man, especially to you, it's a big sign of progress.

13) Perhaps also conversations about ex-boyfriends etc. Here you can show your support and non-judgmental capacity. If she is at peace discussing this with you, without fear of jealousy, it's a big step.

14) Perhaps encourage her to meet up with a former lover or similar, as "friend" (we know that women believe they can move a man into the friend zone) to catch up on life. You show your support and patience, non-jealousy, etc.

THE REQUEST

15) All the above can go along for many years and perhaps forever. But at some point, when you believe the time is right, you should be confident and clear. The timing of this is of paramount importance. You mention to the wife that a) this fantasy is part of who you are and clearly has not gone away, but perhaps even become stronger; b) she is the central element of the fantasy (by now this should already be clear); c) this has nothing to do with the husband getting physically together with any woman (by now this should already be clear); and d) you want to bring the marital trust and communication up to another level altogether, you are challenging her to accompany you in moving the marriage to the next level, and you ask her to take a slight leap of faith on this.

I'll note that the time I chose to make this request was after I'd returned from a long weekend away, on a camping trip with my son and my brothers, and while I was away the wife got a group of her girlfriends together at our house for a bit of a summer party. After people looked at their calendars, her group ended up as two girlfriends and (she kind of kept it low key to me) one guy who is going through a divorce. When I came back from my trip, there was a weird energy so I decided this could be my opportunity. I didn't push but as the days went along it came out naturally that the shindig started around 6 p.m. and it was a Sunday night, so the girls left around 10:30 or 11:00 p.m. But she didn't mention that the guy stayed longer and they drank wine and listened to music, etc. She also didn't mention that he spent the night, until it came up in conversation.

I do know this guy, he's a friend but he's also naturally a man and my wife is stunning, so it's certainly within reason that something happened.

So with this situation that looked so terrible, I chose to take it all in stride, pointing out that any other man would be insanely jealous, protective, etc. and would absolutely conclude this is certainly inappropriate behavior, lacking proper boundaries, etc. and that the assumption would be she had had an affair until proven otherwise. Our friendship with this guy should under normal standards be terminated. But I told her that my fantasy of her with another man is so strong that I actually hope she did it, and that she should merely acknowledge to me, trust me with the knowledge, and I would be supportive and congratulate her. I noted that if she denies and it ultimately turns out she had cheated, then it's certainly divorce territory. But we would be much better off in the path of hotwife. In the hotwife context, the friendship with this guy is preserved, in that this is kept between husband and wife. I pointed out that if she was a hotwife, then she would be have a clear path to have a man stay over later, after a party, even if it's not a boyfriend prospect. The key being communication, openness and honesty.

I'll point out as an aside here, that over the past five years I've been very nonchalant with her and other men, so in a way perhaps unknowingly created a path to this point, where she didn't really think it a big deal if this friend stayed overnight even without me being home. This ended up working in the favor of hotwife progress (read on).

I said to her, with all this as background, I don't relish going another 10 years with this desire as a divisive force in our sex life, kind of the "elephant in the corner" as they say. I pointed out that I am clearly able to control jealousy and emotions. I said I'd rather us take the marriage to a new place, to a new chapter, etc. She thought about it for a day or two, and ultimately agreed to start dipping toes into the hotwife water, slowly and carefully, with the provision that it can stop at any time.

It wasn't a big jump for her, given that we were already past the 14 items I noted above, past these for at least a couple of years. We were it the place of moving from non-activation to activation, until the opportunity presented itself and I jumped on it.

And that's where we sit today. She has contacted her prospect, and is meeting up with him later next week.

[BallSpanking]

Your wife seems to have proceeded with a very level head and acceptance of your wish. At long last, next week, perhaps will give you, and her, a sense of what to can be like for her to be a HotWife. I hope this fellow pushes all of her buttons, physical, emotional, and intellectual, and ravishes your beautiful and willing wife.

Keep us posted, please.

[36DDwife]

How exciting! Can’t wait to hear the progress updates.

[wocka-wocka]

My wife has used & still uses this statement with me especially when a date goes south. It makes me cringe.

The bane of a hot husband's existence, but of course necessary.

OP has to be very careful. It's not wrong to ask to try it. It reads like he's done a good job communicating and sharing.

Maybe after the first experiment she decides it's not for her, he has to honor that.

Ideally, the story goes something like, " The first time, I did it for him. After that, there was no going back." Which, might not work quite like his fantasy!

[slenderfish]

My wife has used & still uses this statement with me especially when a date goes south. It makes me cringe.

The bane of a hot husband's existence, but of course necessary.

OP has to be very careful. It's not wrong to ask to try it. It reads like he's done a good job communicating and sharing.

Maybe after the first experiment she decides it's not for her, he has to honor that.

Ideally, the story goes something like, " The first time, I did it for him. After that, there was no going back." Which, might not work quite like his fantasy!

I know one way this will NOT roll out, I can be absolutely sure of it.

This one way that will not happen is the way I presently have it in my mind. I'm planning on a bumpy ride and have tried to lay a foundation of shock absorbers and safety nets, as much as possible. But of course we'll have to adjust along the way.

Life is wild and wonderful, and the beginning of this is really on the wild side of the wonderful.

[bubbajack]

That great philosopher Mike Tyson is reputed to have said that no fighter's plan survives receiving the first punch in the face.

The same is true in my experience of watching that first bare strange cock sliding into your wife's mouth.

Not that the reality didn't turn out well for us - which it very much did!

But there were surprises that the plan did not fully anticipate ...

My advice is to continue making make as intelligent, kindly, good faith effort as you can to cover whatever contingencies you can think of now. Even though ...

[KyGrappler80]

Wow, exciting to see this develop. Since she is such a fashionable woman, would be curious to know what she brings to this trip. Narration or photos would be amazing.

[dorsetben]

Sounds like you have everything carefully and sensitively arranged - you couldn't have ushered her into the situation any better. I hope it works out for you both. Good luck!

[slenderfish]

Wow, exciting to see this develop. Since she is such a fashionable woman, would be curious to know what she brings to this trip. Narration or photos would be amazing.

Check out my postings in Hotties section for photos.

[wannabecUKold]

Never say never, but remember timing is everything. I posted this as a reply to another string, but it really belongs here because it's the most recent chapter in our background story.

I'd lurked on this board for many years and paid attention to the debating, thinking, conjecturing and also particularly to those whose wives eventually made the mental and physical leap.

Common to all of these, in my version of summary, and also my personal experience, are as follows:

THE ONSET AND INTRODUCTION

1) Husband's fancy gets fired up (for whatever reason).

2) Husband keeps to himself for some period, perhaps years, before accepting.

3) Husband at some point decides to trust wife with this knowledge.

I'll interject here that the husband has a natural prediliction for it, and has already spend a lot of time gaining acceptance and then activation. The wife, who is probably not naturally desirous of this, is suddenly very far behind the husband and needs to catch up. But first needs to desire to catch up.

4) Wife's initial reaction may be to be turned off and resist. This adds another layer, to move to the next point.

TRANSITION AND ACCEPTANCE

5) Passage of time wherein it becomes clear this is not a passing fancy.

6) Wife desires to understand Husband's motivation, the nature of the request, e.g. "I never expected this in my marriage, what's the deal?"

7) Wife starts catching up in her head, at least to understand (and maybe not fully embrace) the point of view.

8) Wife's ideation regarding what it might be like (including commentary of "I can't see myself with another man" and "I'm not attractive enough" etc.) can actually be signs of progress.

9) This progress of ideation may include introduction of fantasy talk in the bedroom, role playing, porn videos, etc.

10) Wife's self-image of attractiveness. If she continues to discuss this, it may be a sign she's actually thought about it and her biggest hurdle at this point is her fear of rejection or similar, based on her concept of how she looks. This is time to encourage wardrobe upgrades, physical fitness training and related, hair appointments, all of it. Tell her how a beauty such as her should be getting the nice things that enhance her look and confidence.

11) Girls' nights out. This can be a very helpful element, in that she will certainly have motivation to look good for the girls when going out. She is dressing up for herself and them, and can justify the extra shine and hotness element to herself from that perspective. Sooner or later, the girls will discuss men and/or get attention from men, etc. even if she never mentions it. You can even compliment her look when she goes out, something like "Wow you look great, I'm sure all your girlfriends will be jealous, and I'm also sure you'll get attention from any men who may be around."

WIFE AND ANOTHER MAN - PROVE THE CONCEPT

12) This is the fantasy talk, the small conversations about men looking at her while you are out, the pillow talk of "if you ever, what is your type" or reference a celebrity, etc. If she can actively envision herself with another man, especially to you, it's a big sign of progress.

13) Perhaps also conversations about ex-boyfriends etc. Here you can show your support and non-judgmental capacity. If she is at peace discussing this with you, without fear of jealousy, it's a big step.

14) Perhaps encourage her to meet up with a former lover or similar, as "friend" (we know that women believe they can move a man into the friend zone) to catch up on life. You show your support and patience, non-jealousy, etc.

THE REQUEST

15) All the above can go along for many years and perhaps forever. But at some point, when you believe the time is right, you should be confident and clear. The timing of this is of paramount importance. You mention to the wife that a) this fantasy is part of who you are and clearly has not gone away, but perhaps even become stronger; b) she is the central element of the fantasy (by now this should already be clear); c) this has nothing to do with the husband getting physically together with any woman (by now this should already be clear); and d) you want to bring the marital trust and communication up to another level altogether, you are challenging her to accompany you in moving the marriage to the next level, and you ask her to take a slight leap of faith on this.

I'll note that the time I chose to make this request was after I'd returned from a long weekend away, on a camping trip with my son and my brothers, and while I was away the wife got a group of her girlfriends together at our house for a bit of a summer party. After people looked at their calendars, her group ended up as two girlfriends and (she kind of kept it low key to me) one guy who is going through a divorce. When I came back from my trip, there was a weird energy so I decided this could be my opportunity. I didn't push but as the days went along it came out naturally that the shindig started around 6 p.m. and it was a Sunday night, so the girls left around 10:30 or 11:00 p.m. But she didn't mention that the guy stayed longer and they drank wine and listened to music, etc. She also didn't mention that he spent the night, until it came up in conversation.

I do know this guy, he's a friend but he's also naturally a man and my wife is stunning, so it's certainly within reason that something happened.

So with this situation that looked so terrible, I chose to take it all in stride, pointing out that any other man would be insanely jealous, protective, etc. and would absolutely conclude this is certainly inappropriate behavior, lacking proper boundaries, etc. and that the assumption would be she had had an affair until proven otherwise. Our friendship with this guy should under normal standards be terminated. But I told her that my fantasy of her with another man is so strong that I actually hope she did it, and that she should merely acknowledge to me, trust me with the knowledge, and I would be supportive and congratulate her. I noted that if she denies and it ultimately turns out she had cheated, then it's certainly divorce territory. But we would be much better off in the path of hotwife. In the hotwife context, the friendship with this guy is preserved, in that this is kept between husband and wife. I pointed out that if she was a hotwife, then she would be have a clear path to have a man stay over later, after a party, even if it's not a boyfriend prospect. The key being communication, openness and honesty.

I'll point out as an aside here, that over the past five years I've been very nonchalant with her and other men, so in a way perhaps unknowingly created a path to this point, where she didn't really think it a big deal if this friend stayed overnight even without me being home. This ended up working in the favor of hotwife progress (read on).

I said to her, with all this as background, I don't relish going another 10 years with this desire as a divisive force in our sex life, kind of the "elephant in the corner" as they say. I pointed out that I am clearly able to control jealousy and emotions. I said I'd rather us take the marriage to a new place, to a new chapter, etc. She thought about it for a day or two, and ultimately agreed to start dipping toes into the hotwife water, slowly and carefully, with the provision that it can stop at any time.

It wasn't a big jump for her, given that we were already past the 14 items I noted above, past these for at least a couple of years. We were it the place of moving from non-activation to activation, until the opportunity presented itself and I jumped on it.

And that's where we sit today. She has contacted her prospect, and is meeting up with him later next week.

This list of the steps towards becoming a hot wife's husband should be placed in some permanent advice post here.
We're up to point 10 (self-image uplift), 13, 14 (possibilities to meet up with Ex) and 15 (explaining/confirming why I want it). But not gone beyond that point and may not. If any VHW can shed further light on what is going through her mind, that would be revealing.

[slenderfish]

So she'd mentioned having texted this potential, Mr. S. This was a few days ago. She noted that her text was something to the extent of "I'll be in town visiting family next week and am looking to make plans for the weekend while there, perhaps we can get a group together or something." She liked this Mr. S but recalled he had a girlfriend when we ran into him last summer at the W Hotel bar/club area. His text back ended with "or perhaps we get together just the two of us." She was a bit surprised and thought it a bit forward of him, and later asked me about it.

I said that If I were him, I'd do the same, so in my book it's a good sign. I also said that she continues to underestimate her desirability, and that she should take it as a compliment.

Then she went silent for a couple of days on the matter. As I noted in the string above, she was in her head for those days.

Yesterday she brought it back up. She was uncertain the appropriate reply, as she is not accustomed to this kind of flirtatious banter via text. I encouraged her to encourage him, and even offered to assist with tactics to reduce the uncertainty. She asked for my suggestions.

I suggested she send him a text message within the next day or two, with the following:

"Okay, I get in on Wednesday and will be running across town on Thursday. If possible, let's cross paths that day for a coffee or drink and discuss making plains for the weekend."

The purpose of this early meet-up is to immediately ascertain his situation, whether he does have a girlfriend, etc. or is available and interested in pursuing a real date night. When together that day, she will follow up on his suggestion about "just the two of us" and confirm with him that she would like it as a true date, etc. and that he should plan it up. It's a hedge so that she can, early in the trip, get that Saturday worked out in advance, rather than stumble into it and not know. Also to answer any obvious questions such as that she has freedom from her husband when traveling and also that she would ask for Mr. S' discretion if they are to go on a date. Her home town is small enough that she would prefer word not get around that she is out with someone other than her husband. I assured her that Mr. S will almost certainly agree to these premises if he has interest in her.

Mr. S. has a friend Mr. A. and if Mr. S. is not available after all, she will ask Mr. S. to get a group together on Saturday night to include Mr. A. and then work on seducing Mr. A. Actually, this was her initial idea, and the reason for contacting Mr. S. Therefore, she was a bit surprised by the reply from Mr. S. regarding " how about just the two of us" instead of the requested group setup.

She had always found Mr. S. to be outgoing and attractive, but assumed he was unavailable. Said she would welcome going forward with Mr. S.

She also asked me about the frequency of contact that I would expect from her (I said we would discuss that later and come to a balanced approach to keep me in the loop but not in the way), and also said she has no plans to do more than kissing and similar.

She followed up reminding me that she is presently treating her "environment" with a prescription anti=bacterial and is not certain it will be fully corrected by next week. I'll note for this discussion that last Thursday I'd noticed something and encouraged her to get right to the doctor, to get the proper treatment. She usually delays "wait and see" but in this instance went right away and got the medication, the very next day. My point here is that she seems to be unusually aware of this part of her body and is taking extra care that it be ready to go. But her words are "just kissing" and "I can't see having sex" which makes me aware that she's certainly been thinking of it.

My recommended approach on the above will establish a more favorable timeline of possibilities for her, as follows:

Wed arrive in town, check into hotel, meet up with her mother.

Thu drive across town for lunch wth her sister. On the way back across town, meet up with Mr. S. and establish date night for Saturday. If Mr. S. is smart, perhaps he will suggest moving the date night to Fri.

Fri she spends day visiting her girlfriend and daughter, then goes for hair appointment. Perhaps meets Mr. S or not.

Sat during day visits other girlfriend and daughter, then gets ready for date, and goes on date.

The idea here is that she is in town until Tuesday, so if Saturday goes well, then Mr. S. might be able to see her yet again before her flight home Tuesday afternoon.

My hope is that she has a wonderful time on the Saturday date, and does agree to see him again on Sunday or Monday night, and they are able to take it further after the foundations of a) Thursday meetup to establish the fact of mutual interest, b) Saturday his pursuit and her accepting his initial affections, and c) Sunday or Monday to move it along, based on desire that may have been sparked, perhaps even "close the deal" if not previously accomplished.

I thanked her for sharing her thoughts with me and for asking my assistance in the approach. That we are doing this "together" but of course it's her foray. I gave her a hug and a kiss and an assurance that her merely considering this and talking about is is already a huge gift from her to me, and that if it even stops now I am grateful for all of it.

Any other thoughts/suggestions?

[Tryn]

When does your gorgeous wife fly out for her trip? I think a reasonable response to his text on just the two of them meeting up is along the lines of, “I’m still trying to figure out my plans. What do you have in mind if it’s just the two of us?” It’s not a overtly flirty question but will definitely open the door for him to be daring. If he goes the daring route, your wife can ask about making a gf upset.

Love the pics btw! Your wife is a hottie!!

[slenderfish]

When does your gorgeous wife fly out for her trip? I think a reasonable response to his text on just the two of them meeting up is along the lines of, “I’m still trying to figure out my plans. What do you have in mind if it’s just the two of us?” It’s not a overtly flirty question but will definitely open the door for him to be daring. If he goes the daring route, your wife can ask about making a gf upset.

Love the pics btw! Your wife is a hottie!!

Hi. Yes, that's the logic, glad you see it. If he goes daring on Thursday, then the table is better set for Saturday because expectations will be better known in advance. And, hopefully, progress from there.

Let's more clearly set up the timeline. She departs on Wednesday the 9th of September and returns Tuesday the 15th. The days of the week within that time frame are noted in my post above.

And yes, I agree she is indeed a hottie.