POLL: How long from talking to HW action

[SuperHW2021]

Let me preface this by saying I know that every relationship is different and cannot be compared to others. So this question and poll comes from a place of curiosity. I do not mean to call anyone out or cause any hurt feelings.

I have been a long time lurker here and just started becoming active in the forum since me and my wife have moved closer to entering the LS and I know there will be times we need advice.

As I have been reading some of the newer and older post it seems that most wives don't just jump on the hot wife band wagon as soon as the guy mentions it. Like mine was, they are shocked a little at first.

This is understandable as us guys think with the little head most of the time while the women think with the big one. Sorry to say that is a fact of life I have come to except.

However, there are some post on here and other places in the internet land, where it seems like the husband's mentions the LS and she seems reluctant about it or says no way. Then next week she is in the bed with a boyfriend or has one she is talking to. I just can't wrap my head around that.

From my own journey, it has been a long road and we are still not there yet but the conversations have started.

My question to all is, how long from the time you shared your fantasy until your wife was on board and actively looking/playing with another man? Wives you can also vote on how long it took you to actively look for a playmate.

[mr-nobody]

20 years.
Yep.

[kaskap79]

I knew my wife had others when we started dating and it was not a question for debate.

I just loved it, I have known since I began having sexual thoughts that I would allow my future wife to have other med.

[DedicatedHubby2013]

For us, it was a little over 2 years, though it would have been a lot sooner if her 1st guy had accepted her advances.

For other people, the wife may need more encouragement, but my wife keeps repeatedly finding herself desiring attention from new men. I mostly let my wife decide when she wanted to pursue this, though I did keep the fantasy alive during dry spells by talking about her being with other men while me made love every once in a while. Every few years she gets the itch to flirt with guys. Most of the time it fizzles out, but lately she has been really lucky, and found two great guys.

[SuperHW2021]

20 years.
Yep.

Wow! I hope mine does not wait that long lol!

[zorro]

3 months, so I clicked on 6 months.

[SuperHW2021]

3 months, so I clicked on 6 months.

I did forget the 1-6 month choice sorry about that. I'll add it

[Wittol Boy]

20 years.
Yep.

Yeah, I am halfway there myself... 10 years. We still talk about it but she says she just can't do it so it looks like I'll hit and surpass the 20 year mark.

I love her though so the desire will just have to be enough.

[SuperHW2021]

20 years.
Yep.

I love her though so the desire will just have to be enough.

I would love her if she said the same thing. The choice is all hers at this point. If she says no I can't promise I won't think about it.

[mr-nobody]

20 years.
Yep.

Yeah, I am halfway there myself... 10 years. We still talk about it but she says she just can't do it so it looks like I'll hit and surpass the 20 year mark.

I love her though so the desire will just have to be enough.

Oh man. I would hope no one would break my record. For the record we've only tried once unsuccessfully. But we're trying now so that's good news. And even if my wife never does it again the fact that she is open to it is enough for me. And we enjoy the fantasy in the meantime.

[noreaster]

Was something that just evolved over the years. I was the one that kept it alive but she didn’t argue either.

[Adabel]

Our was about 21 months...lol so I put over a year.

[zorro]

3 months, so I clicked on 6 months.

I did forget the 1-6 month choice sorry about that. I'll add it

Thank you. Much appreciated. And rescored.

[Farmgirl]

Once my Number1 was able to admit that he really wanted a Hotwife, I took a few weeks to arrange things. I had already been flirting with guys so it was just which one was serious.

[2inUPMichigan]

About 6 months from the first serious conversation to my first play date.

[natasnaikul]

It took her over 6 months to date her first bull but once she did and saw I was happy for her she really enjoys her sexual freedom

[pravus405]

It took my wife about 4 years to take the leap. She went out with a friend of hers and told her what we had been discussing. Her friend asked her "why the hell haven't you started"? That was the final nudge she needed.

[Sharing One]

I think it depends on the wife, some wives would never be a hotwife and there are others who would love the opportunity. My wife loves sex and was ready once she was sure that I was on board with the life style. However, it took about two weeks of pillow talk for her to make sure that I was ready to move forward with her and would enjoy the experience.

[Des 31]

About a year as best I recall, perhaps slightly longer. But it wasn't known to me until my wife's coworker had been fucking her for around three months almost every time I was out of town - and occasionally on their lunch hours.

After I learned about it, she has since been eager to continue with other men and with my full knowledge. Now, it has become such an ordinary way of married life, neither of us wishes to go back to the time when it was just the two of us.

[Bongomadness 6969]

We both started out as swingers early on in our realionship. It evolved into wifey being a slutwife and me getting turned on by her sharing herself with others. Lasted 30 years

[Gazmo]

Ten long, anxious and anticipatory years.

Got there in the end though

[slenderfish]

Yes this is generally a long (long!) game for many of us. Probably about eight years from when I "told" her. She did sleep with two guys as a hotwife, back in late 2020. Waiting, wondering, supporting, so perhaps she will go again. Time will tell.

Super happy she tried it out. Quite the gift.

[jw_kk]

Our situation is complicated. KK has never been happily monogamous, even from the time we were dating, through our engagement, and the first twenty years we were married. Throughout that period, she had numerous affairs, from one-night stands to more traditional physical/emotional affairs that were longer duration.

Throughout the time, starting about six months after we got married, I encouraged her to have sex with other men. I wanted to be involved, as a voyeur and/or participant. She refused to include me in her extramarital sex experiences however. In some cases I suspected, or knew about KK's infidelity, in other cases I had no idea. It took twenty years for KK to openly engage in sex with other men, as a "hot wife," and include me in the action.

[hwhjacob]

My wife was onboard with it within six months, but it took a few years to find the right guy to start things off with.

It wasn't until after the first few guys that she admitted she had a couple brief dalliances... about 20 years earlier. So I think that helped in some ways for the quick acceptance. But the long wait I think was due to her not knowing how I would react if it really happened. So when she saw my reaction at her "first" time with another man, see decided she could confess. I know I wouldn't been able to handle it back then, but hearing the details for her fucking three different guys was HOT... even 20 years later.

[herfootluvr]

Been talking about it, sometimes begging, at times in trouble for talking about it incessantly for 25+years now. Has it ever happened? Sadly no. 20 years ago she came very close. And fast forward to just a couple of years ago ( right before covid) she'd decided to fuck a hot guy at work if he made a move on her. He is married and stuck to flirting. A few months later she changed her mind about fucking him and you guessed it.. was mad at me all-over again for pushing her nonstop about it. Said she realized she was only telling herself to do it to turn me on.

Damn life can be so difficult.