Not sure if I'm in the right place..

[Iahotwifeshusband]

My wife wasn’t comfortable sleeping with strangers when she first started, but eventually opened up to it. Since you both met on Tinder, have you considered her getting the app again? My wife has had a lot of success with Tinder.

She can always chat for a bit, then meet somewhere public, then proceed if and when she is ready.

Best of luck to both of you!

[mastiff]

Congratulations on your progress

[Gulfcpl]

Just thought I would provide a little update as a bit of time has gone by.

We have signed up to a local swingers website, but haven't had much time to post yet. In the next couple of weeks we will be taking some sexy photos and L will start poking around a little bit. L is also open but hesitent to go to a local swingers club, I doubt there will be much activity though.

We went to a bar last week and L was getting into finding some guys to dance with but a creep touched her in a way she didn't like and that soured the mood. I was very proud she told him to go fuck himself but we left soon afterwards.

We have had more roleplay in the bedroom. I put a blindfold on her then pretended to bring another man into the bedroom, we didn't end up going the whole way with it but it was fun and she was into it. I messed it up by talking too much next time she wants me to be completely silent while she imagines I'm her ex boyfriend, the unlucky guy never got to go all the way with her.

We have learned a couple of things that are really important. She is absoultely not comfortable with sleeping with strangers, whether she just hasn't met the right one remains to be seen. But I take her 100% at her word. The other is that the main thing holding her back is that we live in a small city, you can run into someone you know just about everywhere. She doesn't want anything to ruin her professional reputation. Going forward this will be our number 1 priority.

I believe that potentially we can find a balance though, keeping our circle small and meeting guys that respect this means she can hopefully find some reliable play mates. It's kind of at odds with her opinion that she also doesn't want to get to know these guys and just use them for sex. Anyone that can provide insight into this seemly opposite way of thinking would be wonderful. Not being comfortable to play with strangers, yet not wanting to get to know the guys she plays with. Only in a womans mind...

In our conversations around the topic she has told me that she would prefer to play on her own, she doesn't want me there. Primarily because she won't be able to relax and will be too worried about how I am feeling. While I greatly appreciate her concern for my feelings, I would prefer to be there. However, it's her rules and hopefully once we are both comfortable with each others feelings we can explore more together.

Lastly, she seems to joke and tease (test?) me on an almost daily basis with jokey "what if..?" questions. Here are a couple.
What if I came back from a weekend away and there was a nearly empty box of condoms in my suitcase?
What if a guy rang you on the phone and claimed to be my boyfriend?
What if a guy rang you and complained that I has used them for dinner and sex?
What if that guy told you he wanted you to divorce me?

She plays these off as just jokes, but I get the feeling she is testing my feelings a little. Opinions?

Anyway, this post went longer than I thought it would. I guess I had more of an update than I originally thought. As always happy to hear anyones opinions on how our situation is developing. We seems to have a pretty open line of communication on the subject now and it's getting easier and easier to talk about together.

The what if game can be fun but the what if about a guy asking her to divorce you, even though fantasy, should never be any part of a fantasy. This is only my opinion.

My wife and I have been married 42 years and from the start, we vowed that that word would never be used in our home and it never has.

Please, I’m not lecturing you but fantasy is one thing, real life is another. I hope you take this constructively. Certainly no offense intended.

Now back to this exciting thread. It’s been great so far.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

My wife wasn’t comfortable sleeping with strangers when she first started, but eventually opened up to it. Since you both met on Tinder, have you considered her getting the app again? My wife has had a lot of success with Tinder.

Tinder is actually something we discussed, but feel it adds too many complications. First her profile is open so anyone could come across it, second we have the problem of what to tell people about her marriage status. While its still a possible tool, we feel meeting people already in the LS is probably a simpler solution.

Congratulations on your progress

Thank you, it does appear to be moving towards eventually becoming a reality.

The what if game can be fun but the what if about a guy asking her to divorce you, even though fantasy, should never be any part of a fantasy. This is only my opinion.

My wife and I have been married 42 years and from the start, we vowed that that word would never be used in our home and it never has.

Please, I’m not lecturing you but fantasy is one thing, real life is another. I hope you take this constructively. Certainly no offense intended.

Now back to this exciting thread. It’s been great so far.

No offense taken I definietly hear you and probably this is something I will talk to L about should she mention it again. However in this instance I took the question in the spirit with which it was asked. I very much appreciate the opinion, I don't believe divorce should be in our lexicon.

[Lensman2000]

Thanks for sharing this fascinating evolution with us. I appreciate that you're not pushing your wife into anything to satisfy a fetish, but rather just opening the door and facilitating/normalizing her own fantasies.
As was said before, "she doesn't know what she doesn't know". For someone like your wife with such limited experience the better "Loving Wives" Literotica stories can be very eye-opening.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Well it's been a while, I didn't think it was necessary any longer to drop constant updates on every little conversation. So here we are.

My wife has a business trip coming up to another country in the next couple of weeks, she will be gone for 12 days. This has sparked a little bit of conversation around her maybe signing up to Tinder while she is there to meet a couple of guys, however L doesn't think she will have much time out of her busy schedule.

Last night we were cuddling in bed and she said that she asked me how I would feel about her sharing intimate moments with another man, I of course told her it was extremely hot and would encourage her. I told L that I would love to eat her pussy while she told me all of the details. She mentioned that she would be on the look out for guys to flirt with while she was overseas, we will see but I doubt she will have much time.

Then she launched unprompted into a little play by play story about her fucking a guy we met recently, he is a car salesman as we are currently looking at new cars. She told me all about his long cock, how much she enjoyed playing with it and feeling it push deep inside her. Then about how she asked him to cum on her neck as it's something she hadn't done before. All the while I was rubbing and eating her pussy.

I asked her if she would enjoy doing things with other guys that she didn't do with her husband and it pulled her out of the fantasy. She said when I asked that it immediately made her feel guilty. I cuddled her and gave her some reassurement that she has nothing to feel guilty about, that as long as we're sharing everything together then she doesn't need to feel guilty as we're both involved. I told her that I loved her and the sense of guilt seemed to pass very quickly.

This is a big step forward, usually she doesn't like to talk much during sex as it breaks her concerntration but this talking and the subject matter is something she has yet to address in such a detailed and purposeful way. She certainly seemed to enjoy the fantasy. With all the small conversations and passing comments she has made over the last few months, this is clearly something that has been perculating in her mind for a while now and I believe she is growing more comfortable with the thought. I've tried to be consistent in my answers and responses to our conversations so as not to send mixed messages.

She is being very open about men she is crushing on and talks about wanting to kiss them, which I encourage. I doubt anything will happen on her trip but the right guy could certainly open the door for her, whether or not she would walk all the way through is another story.

[Long Lurker 34]

Well it's been a while, I didn't think it was necessary any longer to drop constant updates on every little conversation. So here we are.

My wife has a business trip coming up to another country in the next couple of weeks, she will be gone for 12 days. This has sparked a little bit of conversation around her maybe signing up to Tinder while she is there to meet a couple of guys, however L doesn't think she will have much time out of her busy schedule.

Last night we were cuddling in bed and she said that she asked me how I would feel about her sharing intimate moments with another man, I of course told her it was extremely hot and would encourage her. I told L that I would love to eat her pussy while she told me all of the details. She mentioned that she would be on the look out for guys to flirt with while she was overseas, we will see but I doubt she will have much time.

Then she launched unprompted into a little play by play story about her fucking a guy we met recently, he is a car salesman as we are currently looking at new cars. She told me all about his long cock, how much she enjoyed playing with it and feeling it push deep inside her. Then about how she asked him to cum on her neck as it's something she hadn't done before. All the while I was rubbing and eating her pussy.

I asked her if she would enjoy doing things with other guys that she didn't do with her husband and it pulled her out of the fantasy. She said when I asked that it immediately made her feel guilty. I cuddled her and gave her some reassurement that she has nothing to feel guilty about, that as long as we're sharing everything together then she doesn't need to feel guilty as we're both involved. I told her that I loved her and the sense of guilt seemed to pass very quickly.

This is a big step forward, usually she doesn't like to talk much during sex as it breaks her concerntration but this talking and the subject matter is something she has yet to address in such a detailed and purposeful way. She certainly seemed to enjoy the fantasy. With all the small conversations and passing comments she has made over the last few months, this is clearly something that has been perculating in her mind for a while now and I believe she is growing more comfortable with the thought. I've tried to be consistent in my answers and responses to our conversations so as not to send mixed messages.

She is being very open about men she is crushing on and talks about wanting to kiss them, which I encourage. I doubt anything will happen on her trip but the right guy could certainly open the door for her, whether or not she would walk all the way through is another story.

MLO - You should try and discern her "type" and when you're out together give her a little nudge and a nod and say something like, "What do you think?"

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

MLO - You should try and discern her "type" and when you're out together give her a little nudge and a nod and say something like, "What do you think?"

Way ahead of you buddy! She is very vocal about her type. L like introverted, nerdy types of guys. She doesn't respond well to the aggressive "Alpha Male" type of guys, she prefers men with intelligence and depth.

[Long Lurker 34]

MLO - You should try and discern her "type" and when you're out together give her a little nudge and a nod and say something like, "What do you think?"

Way ahead of you buddy! She is very vocal about her type. L like introverted, nerdy types of guys. She doesn't respond well to the aggressive "Alpha Male" type of guys, she prefers men with intelligence and depth.

MLO - Do you actually play that little game at all?

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

MLO - You should try and discern her "type" and when you're out together give her a little nudge and a nod and say something like, "What do you think?"

Way ahead of you buddy! She is very vocal about her type. L like introverted, nerdy types of guys. She doesn't respond well to the aggressive "Alpha Male" type of guys, she prefers men with intelligence and depth.

MLO - Do you actually play that little game at all?

Sort of, but not in that way. We will discuss men she meets outside that she find attractive. The other night was obviously the first time L fantasized about taking someones cock and certainly the first time she explicitly verbalised to me.

[ajgarcia69]

You could suggest a game for your wife to play with you while she’s out. Assign points to doing certain things. Maybe 1 point for dancing with a guy, and more points if it’s more risqué dancing. Based on how many points she “earns”, she gets a “prize” after. Prizes would be you doing chores she doesn’t like (cooking, washing dishes, vacuuming, etc.) for a week, or they can be things she likes (massage, spa day, shopping, etc.). If she feels like she’s playing a game with you and that there’s “prizes” at the end, it might help her to get out of head and re-frame her actions into something less intimidating. Obviously, big things should earn big points, like making out, groping, or giving her number/socials to a guy for messaging.

So not to high jack the thread, but this is an interesting concept. I'd be curious to hear more...

What I am envisioning if wife and I out at a club. Instead of maybe set points with a set goal, I could see challenging her. IE- I bet I could get a number, dance, kiss etc from a girl before you can from a guy. We could wing man for each other. I am 100% sure she would be more successful. We've had some bedroom talk, but nothing beyond that. I could see something like this kind of pushing it in the right direction, while still not committing to anything we can't undo if she doesn't like it. Anyone try something similar?

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

I have a serious question.

How do you stop getting blue balls? L is away for a business conference tonight and tomorrow so I told her "I think I need to masturbate tonight. I've been trying to save it for when your back but I need to get it out."

She responded that it was a great idea and that she would like me to think about her and her lover (the car dealer) while I get off. The whole afternoon at work was HELL. I had blue balls and sperm cramps, I couldn't stop thinking about her. L told me she wanted me to think about eating her pussy after her lover had fucked her and how different she would taste.

It was agony. How do you guys stop yourselves from being blue balled constantly? Especially when the mrs is out on a date, for example.

I kinda realise I'm burying the lede a little here. L has taken a massive step these last few days, she is now actively getting off on the thoughts of taking a lover and having me eat her pussy afterwards. She seems hot on the thought of being a slut a reveling in it while I bring her off afterwards.

But I need to focus at work, please let me know how to contain the agony

[whosbeensleeping]

Exciting progression!

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Exciting progression!

Thank you for dropping in!

L has been away overseas for work for the last 10 days or so. Very very busy! She hasn't even looked at any men she tells me.

Not an exciting update in itself. However, when she is back we pick back up with the developing situation as she certainly seems to be enjoying it.

[mastiff]

It seems that your wife is actively planning out how things could go after her encounter.
This sounds like an important next step.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Just a quick one as I don't have much time.

L put up a profile on a dating app last night

[Long Lurker 34]

Just a quick one as I don't have much time.

L put up a profile on a dating app last night

MLO - Well that's progress to be sure.
- I see your handle and mentally it always becomes BTO

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Just a quick one as I don't have much time.

L put up a profile on a dating app last night

MLO - Well that's progress to be sure.
- I see your handle and mentally it always becomes BTO

And just like that the profile is gone

L got a little worried because where we live is a very small country, she doesn't want anyone she might come across professionally to know she is dating outside her husband.

She teases me a lot these days. L regularly makes jokes about seeing other men, or men buying her things or talking about men she finds attractive. I think that she has come around in her own head that I would let her sleep with someone else. I've come around to that fact too, although I still get regular pangs of worry and anxiety about her leaving me for someone that could provide her a better life or her just falling completely for someone.

Indispersed throughout these little jokes of hers, she will also regularly say "I couldn't date anyone but you." Or "I don't know how I could have sex with anyone else." I've said previously that I was her first and she needs to be made to feel safe, nobody else has ever made her feel safe enough. I think in her mind nobody could, obviously I know that's not true.

I do tend to worry a little about what might happen to our bond once she realises that other men can make her feel safe in the same was I do, but I'm mostly past that. Mostly.

It seems she is 99% of the way there in her own mind. L just needs to find her unicorn at this stage. Although where we live I doubt she will make the jump (into another mans bed) any time soon. We do have plans to leave for another country in a few years though and have a baby in the meantime. So I'm content to not force the situation as it currently stands as sharing my wife was never a need or passion of mine, just a situation that developed out of love for L.

If it happens it happens, but I'll certainly keep engaging and encouraging her when she plays with the idea. Maybe it will happen suddenly, like it seems to for many other members on this site. I'll keep updating as and when there are any developments.

Appreciate all the people reading, even if you're not commenting, but please feel free to chime in with any advice or thoughts as they are incredibly helpful and enlightening.

[philxxo]

Keep the faith. I think you are most of the way there. She got cold feet. Eventually she will not have that and go all the way. She likes the idea, otherwise she would not keep teasing and joking. Just reaffirm your position each time she does joke or tease you. It's probably a case of just needing the right man show up in her life. If that fails, then the app will work.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Hey folks, I thought I'd provide a little update on how things are going.

L has had a few little crushes over the past few weeks. The most recent one is on going. A guy at her tennis club randomly brought her a pomelo and 'casually' dropped into the conversation that he had recently broken up with his girlfriend. L asked me if I thought he was into her.

What do you think fellas?

L told me that she likes sharing her crushes with me, although they are pretty fleeting. They don't usually last longer than a few days. She doesn't want to be the one to initiate flirting and none of them have really chased her yet, so she gets bored with them quickly.

L has also said a few times that she is glad she doesn't need to worry about men and dating anymore. She will oscillate between this and enjoying a little crush from time to time. This is pretty normal from what I know about hotwives in the early stages of the experiment.

We've had a few little conversations around the topic, she brings it up probably once a week. Usually in the form of her favourite "What if..." questions. She knows she has my full support if she wants to date, so long as our family remains her number 1 priority. She even told me in the car today she wishes she hadn't told everyone at her tennis club that she was married, then she would feel more comfortable being open with the men there.

A couple of other interesting developments. L has been away for work for a night or two each week, we have been playing a game while she is away where she confesses to me that she met a handsome man and was seduced by him. She role plays with me about how it happened and how they fucked, what she liked about it, etc.

Also, we're trying to expand her boundries around sex generally with each other. She wore a dress (although knee length) without panties to a dinner date the other night. It didn't really make her horny, it's the first ever time she has gone out without panties and she said it just felt strange. A good step for her though, hopefully once she gets more comfortable without panties she will begin to enjoy it.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Just a quick update.

We were talking in bed last night and L has decided she wants to go to a local lifestyle club and check it out.

We should be heading there over the Christmas break, i.e. in the next couple of weeks.

Anyone thats taken their nervous wife to a LS club before, any idea what I should expect?

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

The plan is for Saturday 23rd, we're going to visit a local lifestyle club.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Just booked our visit to the swingers club this Saturday evening.

L is pretty keen, she hasn't wavered once.

Wish me luck, I might need it.

[skoot1958]

Have a great time, take your time, do not rush in to anything, agree a simple before you go, like L playing where ear lob, mean move on, or running her finger up and down your arm mean I want them, also you do not have to play, but you can get contact details, think how you do that if you do not have you phones with you, some places do not allow phones in for privacy of everyone, be prepaid to be open minded, age, size etc. and all ways play safe

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Have a great time, take your time, do not rush in to anything, agree a simple before you go, like L playing where ear lob, mean move on, or running her finger up and down your arm mean I want them, also you do not have to play, but you can get contact details, think how you do that if you do not have you phones with you, some places do not allow phones in for privacy of everyone, be prepaid to be open minded, age, size etc. and all ways play safe

Thank you. Luckily it's quite a high-quality place from the looks of the website, not cheap to enter either. No phones is one of their rules.

We're going on a couples night as I think that will be less overwhelming for L and it guarantees lots of women for her to talk and discuss with. I don't know what will happen, if anything, but it's definitely a big step for us. I plan to tell L on the way that I'm OK with whatever she wants to do, or not do. I'm there to keep her safe and give her peace of mind, but this night is about her and she has my full support to explore however she wants with whoever she wants. Just to tell me where she is going and with who, so hopefully I can at least watch or be close by, if I'm not directly involved.