Finally!!

[funfortwo]

Quick update: I just spoke to my wife and told her that our emoji was upgraded to a "flame" which indicates our story is hot! Wow, another surprise for both of us. I also told her we have almost 12K people that have viewed our journey and she was blown away! I told her to get verified and she can talk to other women in the lifestyle to bounce ideas off. She also said that after Thursday"s date, she will write on under my name giving her perspective on her date and how we got here. Honestly, I NEVER thought this would happen to us, but mostly her!! Enjoy the ride...

[Wannabee]

Bravo, well deserved. Now, any chance of photos in the Hotties section?

[funfortwo]

Bravo, well deserved. Now, any chance of photos in the Hotties section?

I appreciate your enthusiasm, but from the onset we have always been discreet. I apologize but I don't believe any pictures will be posted. Kids, family and friends would probably not approve (if they ever got out). I'm still trying to watch them myself, but I take what I can get. It's her decision, I just enjoy the ride.

[funfortwo]

Update: Today my wife is has a date with J. Yesterday, I was feeling excited/angst that sometimes appear that is accompanied with some insecurities regarding possibly "losing" my wife to her BF. She noted that I was a bit quiet and she asked if everything is alright. I talked to her about my feelings and she said, "there is no way that will ever happen...you are my number one, always have been and always will. We have an amazing future together and I'm excited for that." She did admit she is excited about the date and later in the evening, we had the traditional "fashion show" where she tries on different outfits that I think her BF will like. Since it's a pool day, she chose a sexy black bikini and I also purchased, as a suprise, 4" wedge sandals that make her butt pop out. She has a sexy black wrap to wear while not poolside. To wear to the hotel, over her bikini, she is wearing a cute onesie that shows off her legs and tits. After we decided on an outfit, she showered and groomed herself for the date. When she came out of the shower, she asked me "how do you like it?" Normally, she would have a landing strip above her pussy, but she decided to shave herself entirely bald for the first time in her life!! I told her it was hot and what made her decide to do it? She said she got carried away and didn't anticipate it being bald, but I balked and said she did it to impress her BF. She replied "well, it's for you too." Fucking HOT!!

Today is a big day as I will try to keep myself occupied while she is on her 5 hour date. To top it off, I haven't had sex or touched myself for 6 days. I woke up today with a sense of excitement without the uneasiness or insecurity. Will update with an account of their adventure!!

[funfortwo]

Update: Long Post, but have a lot to cover...

My wife went on her 6th play date with J the other day. She prepared for the date by dressing in her sexy romper and new high heel wedge shoes. Her makeup, nails, tan and eyelashes were well prepped and on point. I drove her to the hotel, but J had the times wrong and was about 30-40 mins from arriving, when we arrived there. Because we were early, I checked into the hotel, got the room keys and walked my wife upstairs to get ready. It was a unique experience to help her get ready and she told me when we entered, "this is where the magic happens!" She freshened up and put a small tape measure next to the bed on the nightstand (she has done this almost every date, but J has never noticed it). I walked her to the pool, got her set up and went to the bar and bought her a glass of chardonnay. I gave her a kiss, told her I lover her, and said to have a great time, have lots of orgasms and try to get a video.

I drove to lunch, had a workout, a short nap and took a shower while my wife was spending time with J. I drove to the hotel and parked down the street and she sent me a text to head up. I walked into the room, after her 4.5 hour date, and she was seated on a chair in the corner of the room while wearing a sexy robe. She greeted me with a "hi there" while seated and I walked over and gave her a kiss. It was a bit awkward and she said "so" and I said "so how was your day? Did you have fun?" She said it was fun and I could tell that she was a bit drunk. She said, "where should I start" and I replied, "whatever you want to talk about, it was your day, it's up to you." More on this later...

She told me how they met at the pool, had some wine and swam together for about an hour and a half. Another lady arrived at the pool and began a conversation that was somewhat boring. She told J, I wanted to have time with you, and he began kissing her at the pool. She asked him if he was horny and he replied very! They told their new friend and headed up to the room together. As soon as they walked into the room, they started making out and he began removing her bikini top. J pushed her on the bed and began to eat her pussy and that transitioned into a prolonged 69 position while she began to become extremely wet. He finally asked about the tape measure, and she told him she wanted to see how big he is. He laughed, called her crazy and she measured his dick which came out to 8-8.5" and 6" around (BIG). From there he positioned her on top as she has the easiest time having an orgasm that way. She climbed on top and rode him to an orgasm while he urged her along. A few minutes later, he came deep inside of her and he rolled her onto her back and continued to thrust his dick into her. Within minutes, he came inside of her for the second time within minutes!! My wife cleaned up and came back with a warm towel and cleaned his dick up while they chatted for a bit. The music was on and they started to dance in the room for a while. J had some work calls and said he needed to finish a bit of business. After about 20 minutes, my wife grabbed some lube and gave him a handjob while his cock grew in her hand. She started to blow him, and he was having difficulty concentating on his call He ended the call, pulled her on top again and she rode him to her second orgasm and his third!! He rolled her over and put her in the doggy position and she asked him if that was his favorite position. Normally, it's not her favorite position, but she rolled over and he began to pound her from behind. It's not normally my wife's favorite position but she was feeling another orgasm approaching. J began to speak to her in Italian, (played football in Europe where he learned it) and was telling her that he loved her eyes and is beautiful. She had her third orgasm, and he came again (without pulling out) for his fourth orgasm (more on this later too). He ended up showering while she watched him clean up. He got dressed, said her goodbye and she let me know he was gone. I will discuss other stuff that caused some issues in my next post.

[funfortwo]

Another Update: Angst/Anxiety/Insecurities

Okay, here is the portion of hotwifing/cuckolding that I am trying to understand. Any help or suggestions, from experienced men/women, would be appreciated. As I said, I listened to my wife tell me what had happened once J left. L was admittedly a bit drunk and was telling me about her experiences. In her words, she feels awkward telling me what happened because of a few reasons. She has a bit of guilt because he has a long term girlfriend and apparently they have sex only once/twice a year. Nonetheless, L feels like she is doing something that she would be devastated if I were doing the same thing. Also, she worries about me and how I will view her. Even though she feels like we're all in this together, she is the one being "unfaithful" even though she acknowledges that it's fun for her and I. That said, she doesn't know how to tell me about what happened and worries about how I will view her. I told her that I want her to tell me whatever she feels comfortable with. It's her journey too and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable.

Once she told me about their date, she said "shall we take our clothes off so you can re-claim your wife?" I said yes, went to the bathroom and took off my clothes and stood in front of her in my underwear. She was on her phone checking non-important text messages from friends that were insignificant. I stood there for about two minutes and she never looked up and indicated that she wanted to have sex with me. I kinda felt insignificant and started to get dressed and she asked me what I was doing. I said, "let's go to dinner, talk some more and we can come back later and have sex then." She sensed my frustration and told me to take off my clothes and get your release (it had been 5 days since I came). We ended up having sex in missionary and I came within minutes with my wife unable to have an orgasm. That was my first thought of my insecurity. I consider myself a good looking guy, wouldn't have a problem with meeting women if I wanted to. I work out every day and consider myself in good shape but I'm not a former NFL player with a 8.5" dick lol. I guess I felt that my wife kinda made me feel like she put in a lot of work on her date, but wasn't really into me, just doing me a favor after she had her fun. (Will talk about this later).

We went to sushi and had a great meal and talked about how we both felt and how I was feeling about my insecurities. She told me that she feels awkward when I come into the room and we agreed that maybe we just talk about nothing, or just the sex, and proceed directly to our reconnection without the prolonged discussion. Once we're done, we can talk a lot more about our feelings and how the date went in detail.

While we were eating, she told me J would be on a tour for six months next year. She was worried that if she didn't see him, he may find another girlfirend to keep him occupied. Although we talked about a sleepover briefly, I am not sure if I could handle it. I told her maybe, but I'm not there yet and consider it to be much more intimate. I also said I can't plan a date 9 months out, I kinda ride this experience in a day to day or month to month manner. She told me she said she could fly to him while he is on his tour and meet up with him or he can fly to us while we are away next summer for the night. I relayed my insecurities about that as it would be about 2 days gone with 1.5 days spent with him as a couple. Like I said, she was a bit drunk, and kept finding ways for her to have this arrangement work. I kept telling her "you really are fighting hard for this, I'm not sure if I can do it, but I just gotta see how everything goes." She understood and said she was getting carried away in the moment and agreed that it's too far out to plan. Nonetheless, combined with the fact that she wouldn't even look up at me while I was half naked, I was feeling a bit insecure.

We had a long talk the next day and I tried to put myself in her shoes. If I had a FWB that was hot, (and my wife is really hot), I would be excited to see how things progress and enjoying the afterglow of what had just happened. I also understand how she feels immediately afterward but assured her that we're all involved, and J needs to make his own big boy decisions about his life.

Lastly, we had sex a day after her date, and she asked me to get up on my elbows during missionary. That's a position that J uses to make himself, and her come. I started to do that, and she grabbed my ass (J told her to grab his ass), closed her eyes and raised her knees to her chest. She asked me to go deeper and began to have an orgasm. I could tell, at that moment, she was thinking of J and had a huge orgasm (and I did too). The next day we had sex again and she asked for me to take her from behind. I was having difficulty getting to an orgasm and said we needed to change position. She told me, you're not done yet, I'm about to come so keep going. Before this venture, she could never orgasm from behind but now she was asking for it and came with him that way. It seems like she enjoys the dynamic and gets very aroused from their sexual dynamic. I guess, I'm a bit "in my head" with all of this and feel a bit insecure. We talked a lot this AM, agreed that planning and sleepovers are not in the cards right now. We have an amazing marriage and are best friends. I enjoy that she is enjoying herself, I want her to embrace this experience, I just get worried that "maybe" she will enjoy him more (which is okay to a certain extent) but not end up replacing me. Logically everything makes sense, emotionally, I get kinda lost. We discussed how to handle when I arrive and we're both willing to try to make it more enjoyable for both of us without the feeling that she is being interrogated (lol). Anyone else out there have the same experiences that I am having? I love this dynamic and how it has improved our marriage, I just get worried about how far it will go...without crossing boundries.

Thanks again for any input....

[Abrandnewstart194]

Wow, your journey parallels the one my Queen and I have been traveling. My Queen cucked me a month after your wife became a hotwife. We took a lot of time processing the experience afterward. We had setbacks, and called it all off a couple of times, but each time, my Queen was eager to return to it. She has fucked her Bull six times now, and has been fucking him weekly since early August.

The one big difference is that her Bull is a lying, manipulative, insincere sack of shit, whereas your wife’s boyfriend sounds pretty cool.

[funfortwo]

Wow, your journey parallels the one my Queen and I have been traveling. My Queen cucked me a month after your wife became a hotwife. We took a lot of time processing the experience afterward. We had setbacks, and called it all off a couple of times, but each time, my Queen was eager to return to it. She has fucked her Bull six times now, and has been fucking him weekly since early August.

The one big difference is that her Bull is a lying, manipulative, insincere sack of shit, whereas your wife’s boyfriend sounds pretty cool.

Hi Abrandewstart194, I honestly don't think I would be able to accept the fact that my wife has a BF/FWB that isn't respectful. This past weekend, I messaged J and thanked him for being a respectful, discreet gentleman and that the arrangement seems to be working. For me, I need to feel comfortable because this arrangement works 3 ways. For me, I would need to feel comfortable with her Bull, but maybe that's just me. This dynamic is filled with ups and downs without additional drama. Congrats on your adventure!

[Abrandnewstart194]

Honestly, that’s just about the most difficult part of all of this - that and the fact that she has become one of his “regulars”, fucking weekly now, whereas because of distance I have to wait weeks at a minimum to “reclaim” her. He sexuality is inevitably becoming more, and more about the more frequent and more intense sex she has with him than the infrequent, mundane sex with me. We went looking for a Bull, but the guy we found was inexperienced. He assured us that he knew how to be a Bull, and my Queen was very strongly attracted to him, and other women left effusive praise for him on the site where I found him, so we gave him a chance. I figured that if he wasn’t able to understand, and operate within a cuckolding relationship, we would just part ways.

Easier said than done. He fucked my Queen so well that he ensured her body could never forget him. He played, and plays her body like a musical instrument. He knew what he was doing, and that she would never be able to stay away after that. Even though we agreed to stop playing with him after that first time, she let him stay in contact with her in hopes that we might eventually reconsider, and she could fuck him again. Once she did, her desire turned into a need, and that need became an addiction.

He never intended upon being a Bull in a cuckolding relationship, he was only ever interested in taking her as another regular in his harem. There has been disrespect, and instances of clear dishonesty and manipulation that I have pointed out to her, and even some that she noticed herself, and resisted (at least at the time, but he is subtle, and persistent), but it was this fundamental deception that is incontrovertible proof of his spectacular lack of character, and integrity.

None of that matters now. All my Queen knows is her body’s craving for the things he does to her, and she has assured me that he is now a fixture, and the pinnacle of her sexuality. She has no intention of ever not being with him. The only thing for me now is to accept, and to submit to my Queen’s addiction to a basically toxic weasel.

[Abrandnewstart194]

She was commenting, "do you like that my black boyfriend stretched me out and came in me three times?" "You made me this way, now I love big black cock!!"

The “You made me this way” is one of the hottest comments I can imagine a woman saying to her man after introducing her yo the lifestyle, and being freshly fucked by her Bull.

[Abrandnewstart194]

None of that matters now. All my Queen knows is her body’s craving for the things he does to her, and she has assured me that he is now a fixture, and the pinnacle of her sexuality. She has no intention of ever not being with him. The only thing for me now is to accept, and to submit to my Queen’s addiction to a basically toxic weasel.

Damn dude, this doesn’t sound heathy at all! Are you actually cool with just accepting it? Is she familiar with NRE?

I’ll admit that it’s not my ideal, but we have had a lot of fairly intense conversations around this. I don’t want her to do, or not to do something for me. I want absolute authenticity, I want to know, and to indulge HER wants, not to “top from the bottom.” He’s indisputably an untrustworthy piece of shit, but he pleases my Queen, and it’s my place as a cuck to accept most those things she wants that are most difficult - that’s how a cuck loves his Queen.

[Abrandnewstart194]

I’m not comfortable speaking for her, but I think it safe to say that she is aware, though she thinks I’m exaggerating, and I think she’s being charmed. The truth is somewhere in the middle, as usual.

I think my Queen is aware when thinking about it actively, but when focused on other things I don’t think she’s consciously aware, and falls into a sort of trust by comfort, and inattention.

[funfortwo]

I’m not comfortable speaking for her, but I think it safe to say that she is aware, though she thinks I’m exaggerating, and I think she’s being charmed. The truth is somewhere in the middle, as usual.

I think my Queen is aware when thinking about it actively, but when focused on other things I don’t think she’s consciously aware, and falls into a sort of trust by comfort, and inattention.

I'm relatively new at this, but from the onset, this experience was for both of us to share. I'm excited that she gets excited, I guess that's the definition of compersion. But we agreed that if any of us, J included, are not happy with the arrangement then we have the ability to call it off. It's a balance with angst, but if he wasn't a nice guy, then I would think that my wife and I would be out. When I sat down and met him alone a few months ago, I got a good feeling about him, and he really is a gentleman and treats both of us great. There's a lot of fish in the sea, I guess the stars aligned for us on the first try. Ultimately, everyone must determine what they are comfortable with. I guess that's a 1 cent analysis since we're newbies...lol

[Abrandnewstart194]

She has called it off with him twice in deference to me, and my feelings. I have urged her on both occasions to pursue her desires unconstrained by my opinion of him. She agreed, and I’m sure if I asked her, she would again try to put it to a halt, but I’m unsure that she would be able to help herself anymore unless she felt our relationship was being directly threatened.

Looking back, he really set the hook that first night, and has known her need would only grow with time, not fade. I’ve chosen to respect, and to cherish her desires.

[54321]

Once she told me about their date, she said "shall we take our clothes off so you can re-claim your wife?" I said yes, went to the bathroom and took off my clothes and stood in front of her in my underwear. She was on her phone checking non-important text messages from friends that were insignificant. I stood there for about two minutes and she never looked up and indicated that she wanted to have sex with me. I kinda felt insignificant and started to get dressed...

That's a hard 'no' for me.

Are you two in this together or what? For any relationship of any kind to work, all stakeholders need to be having their needs met.
You have every right to feel a bit miffed. This issue needs to be addressed.

54321

[funfortwo]

Once she told me about their date, she said "shall we take our clothes off so you can re-claim your wife?" I said yes, went to the bathroom and took off my clothes and stood in front of her in my underwear. She was on her phone checking non-important text messages from friends that were insignificant. I stood there for about two minutes and she never looked up and indicated that she wanted to have sex with me. I kinda felt insignificant and started to get dressed...

That's a hard 'no' for me.

Are you two in this together or what? For any relationship of any kind to work, all stakeholders need to be having their needs met.
You have every right to feel a bit miffed. This issue needs to be addressed.

54321

Thanks for your response. We talked a lot about it and she explained that she was a bit drunk and was conflicted about talking to me and feeling guilty about what she is doing in this dynamic. She admits that she enjoys it but worries about how she would feel if she were J's girlfriend. I guess in that regard she has a moral compass. That said, I was a bit miffed and when she was planning a possible sleepover in 9 months, I became a bit concerned that there may be more to this than meets the eye. We talked over the next two days and I was in a bit or a emotional dilemma. She has assured me that she considers him a good guy, is sexually attracted to him but that's it. In her words, "I'm her guy, forever and this experience should be fun for all three of us but most importantly me and you (us)." I've stated before that I'm in good shape, good looking (so I've been told), confident and financially secure and a family guy. Nonetheless, when you stand there half naked, and your wife doesn't even look up at you, and the text messages seem to be more important at the time, it's a gut punch to your ego (especially after she took time to watch J shower before he left). I think after discussing this with her, I came to understand how she feels. I tried to put myself in her shoes, if I was hooking up with a hot woman that rocked my world, I would probably be enamored with how that woman made me feel in the moment. But at the end of the day, I wouldn't want to throw everything away for a sexual relationship. If I/she did, I guess we didn't really have a great marriage in the first place. Learning along the way...

[funfortwo]

Once she told me about their date, she said "shall we take our clothes off so you can re-claim your wife?" I said yes, went to the bathroom and took off my clothes and stood in front of her in my underwear. She was on her phone checking non-important text messages from friends that were insignificant. I stood there for about two minutes and she never looked up and indicated that she wanted to have sex with me. I kinda felt insignificant and started to get dressed...

That's a hard 'no' for me.

Are you two in this together or what? For any relationship of any kind to work, all stakeholders need to be having their needs met.
You have every right to feel a bit miffed. This issue needs to be addressed.

54321

Thanks for your response. We talked a lot about it and she explained that she was a bit drunk and was conflicted about talking to me and feeling guilty about what she is doing in this dynamic. She admits that she enjoys it but worries about how she would feel if she were J's girlfriend. I guess in that regard she has a moral compass. That said, I was a bit miffed and when she was planning a possible sleepover in 9 months, I became a bit concerned that there may be more to this than meets the eye. We talked over the next two days and I was in a bit or a emotional dilemma. She has assured me that she considers him a good guy, is sexually attracted to him but that's it. In her words, "I'm her guy, forever and this experience should be fun for all three of us but most importantly me and you (us)." I've stated before that I'm in good shape, good looking (so I've been told), confident and financially secure and a family guy. Nonetheless, when you stand there half naked, and your wife doesn't even look up at you, and the text messages seem to be more important at the time, it's a gut punch to your ego (especially after she took time to watch J shower before he left). I think after discussing this with her, I came to understand how she feels. I tried to put myself in her shoes, if I was hooking up with a hot woman that rocked my world, I would probably be enamored with how that woman made me feel in the moment. But at the end of the day, I wouldn't want to throw everything away for a sexual relationship. If I/she did, I guess we didn't really have a great marriage in the first place. Learning along the way...

[funfortwo]

The more I think about it, I'm realizing that she tends to plan/do more sexual related things with J than me. She plans dates, dresses up for him and has sex with him multiple times per date. I realize that they only see each other once a month, but I noted that she doesn't really wear lingerie for me unless I specifically ask for it. Hell, she didn't even dress up for me on our 25th Wedding Anniversary after she dressed up as a librarian for J the week before we left for our Anniversary. This past weekend, she said she would wear this sexy outfit for me because she felt like I had been a bit upset about the last meeting. Well, that never happened either. I'm trying to wrap my head around this. Am I the reliable guy that enjoys this stuff but I what she is accustomed to? Do I still turn her on? Why does she have me doing the things to her that J does (that he/she enjoy) and close her eyes and fantasize about. I am just trying to stay objective and logical. Is this part of the ride and am I overthinking it? If I asked her, would she really be honest about how she feels for fear of losing everything we have? I see that she is getting a lot of attention from me AND J, wheras I feel that I don't get a lot of attention (sexually) from her. Like I said, I'm not normally an insecure guy, but these are the things that I think about. Just random thought that come to my mind. I enjoy a lot of this dynamic and some of it I can't really say I like. We talk a lot about this stuff but I think she is holding back....Any feedback would be appreciated. Where is FARMGIRL when you need her!!

[Abrandnewstart194]

It sounds like NRE is at play here. There’s the intoxicating excitement of a new relationship, and there’s also the fact that with J it’s all just about sex. There aren’t any mortgage payments, or clogged gutters, or other domestic issues attaching to him the way they inevitably attach to a person’s real life partner. He’s a real person, but he’s also a fantasy.

That said, she shouldn’t allow the escapism she finds with him get in the way of visible demonstrations of love and attraction to you. If you hooked up with a hot woman, and stopped telling your wife that you love her, or how pretty she is, that would rightly be a problem.

It’s difficult finding the right balance, especially as we learn something as new, and fraught as this lifestyle, but I’m convinced that it’s essential to its success for all parties to be focused upon the central relationship. You wife was certainly unaware of the hurt she was causing you, which is why it’s great that you seem to be self-aware, and that you are communicating with each other.

[QueenHedone]

I’ll admit that it’s not my ideal, but we have had a lot of fairly intense conversations around this. I don’t want her to do, or not to do something for me. I want absolute authenticity, I want to know, and to indulge HER wants, not to “top from the bottom.” He’s indisputably an untrustworthy piece of shit, but he pleases my Queen, and it’s my place as a cuck to accept most those things she wants that are most difficult - that’s how a cuck loves his Queen.

I totally get the feelings you have of wanting to indulge her to the max. Does she agree he’s completely untrustworthy?

No, she doesn’t.

[funfortwo]

It sounds like NRE is at play here. There’s the intoxicating excitement of a new relationship, and there’s also the fact that with J it’s all just about sex. There aren’t any mortgage payments, or clogged gutters, or other domestic issues attaching to him the way they inevitably attach to a person’s real life partner. He’s a real person, but he’s also a fantasy.

That said, she shouldn’t allow the escapism she finds with him get in the way of visible demonstrations of love and attraction to you. If you hooked up with a hot woman, and stopped telling your wife that you love her, or how pretty she is, that would rightly be a problem.

It’s difficult finding the right balance, especially as we learn something as new, and fraught as this lifestyle, but I’m convinced that it’s essential to its success for all parties to be focused upon the central relationship. You wife was certainly unaware of the hurt she was causing you, which is why it’s great that you seem to be self-aware, and that you are communicating with each other.

Thank you for your input and perspective. I just sat down with her and had an hour and a half discussion about how I am feeling. I told her about what you said and she admitted that it's probably a bit of the excitement but she also enjoys our time together afterward. Extremely apologetic about the texting thing, and said she understands how I felt and she would have felt the same way...In the end, she validates my feelings and admits that she could never do what I am doing (If I had a FWB/GF). She wants to ensure that I feel secure and ensure that we are both enjoying the experience. I couldn't ask for a better partner to walk this journey with. She really is an amazing woman!!

[Abrandnewstart194]

That’s awesome! I’m so happy to hear that. Communication, and mutual respect realiy are so important.

[Abrandnewstart194]

I’ll admit that it’s not my ideal, but we have had a lot of fairly intense conversations around this. I don’t want her to do, or not to do something for me. I want absolute authenticity, I want to know, and to indulge HER wants, not to “top from the bottom.” He’s indisputably an untrustworthy piece of shit, but he pleases my Queen, and it’s my place as a cuck to accept most those things she wants that are most difficult - that’s how a cuck loves his Queen.

I totally get the feelings you have of wanting to indulge her to the max. Does she agree he’s completely untrustworthy?

No, she doesn’t.

And yet he has proven himself to be comprehensively untrustworthy, and profoundly inauthentic at every single turn.

[funfortwo]

Another great night and conversation with my wife. While talking, she admitted that she enjoys the experience(s) but worries about me with insecurities that have from time to time. She wants it to be fun and exciting for both of us and said she feels bad when she talks about the sex aspect with J. I told her that it turns me on to know she had a great sexual experience but sometimes I get in my head that she is becoming emotionally attached to him. She gave me a quizzical look and said, "we have so much history together, you are my man and that would never happen...if he started to catch feelings for me, I would call it off...it's not fair to anyone involved." She continued, "I enjoy his company, I consider him a friend and I do care about him, but not in a romantic way." She asked me if I cared about her telling me about their sexual adventures while we are having sex and I told her that part excites me. We finished our wine and she started to pick out an outfit for the next meetup that will be in October. She plans on wearing a sexy policewoman costume with fishnets, hat and thigh high boots (A lot of cleavage showing). We had sex and she was having difficulty getting an orgasm while on top (hardly EVER happens but has a pulled muscle right now). She pulled me on top of her and said "I want you to come." I climbed on top of her, and she pulled her knees up toward her chest and and I started to thrust deeper. She appeared like her sexual energy changed and it's at that point that she started to tell me "I really love big black cock, I love being stretched out and feeling it go super deep." I really started to thrust into her and had a huge orgasm and she did too!! She actually started to have a series or mini orgasms after I finished, while I was breathing heavy into her ear.

I asked her how things changed and was able to have a big orgasm? I asked her if it was the talk about big black cocks, because it worked for me, and she said "not really, it was just good sexual energy because I could see you were getting deeper and more turned on." I'm not sure if I totally believe her and think she is trying again to save me from having hurt feelings. I told her it's okay if it's true, but she would not admit it. Either way, we had a great night together!!

[Pufferfish]

You two are still working through that communication phase apparently, and that's fine. It takes some boundary testing and awkward conversations to push past that stuff and really become comfortable with total honesty. You've done the hard work, now it's just a bunch of little stuff that will get better with time. Especially in regards to her opening up about stuff she'd enjoy, when everything is telling her that she shouldn't tell you that. Eventually she'll feel that she can tell you anything, but she'll have to slowly test the waters a bit before then. And she'll slowly start to understand more about what triggers your own insecurities, because it's simply a different way of thinking then how she normally thinks.