How did things change after the first time?

[Brax1]

Guys, how did the dynamic change after your partner first took the leap and slept with someone else?

Did you look at her in a different way? Did she become more confident? Did she feel empowered? Did you feel in awe of here? Were you proud that she actually took that step? Etc

I think we are getting closer and I'm just curious. I think when it happens I will love looking at her and knowing that we have crossed that line, both physically and mentally. I think she will be feeling very powerful which will be a fun dynamic!

Curious to hear your experiences.

[SilverStag]

At first she felt a little guilty, but that gave way to a happiness and confidence that only grew from there. Once she realized that she could make this happen completely on her own terms, she became an advocate.

[snoogaloo82]

Guys, how did the dynamic change after your partner first took the leap and slept with someone else?

Did you look at her in a different way? Did she become more confident? Did she feel empowered? Did you feel in awe of here? Were you proud that she actually took that step? Etc

I think we are getting closer and I'm just curious. I think when it happens I will love looking at her and knowing that we have crossed that line, both physically and mentally. I think she will be feeling very powerful which will be a fun dynamic!

Curious to hear your experiences.

please let me know how things go for you.
you have me curious.

[Brax1]

At first she felt a little guilty, but that gave way to a happiness and confidence that only grew from there. Once she realized that she could make this happen completely on her own terms, she became an advocate.

Do you remember what she felt guilty about exactly? How long did it take for her confidence to grow?

Did you have any doubts afterwards or did it just feel natural? Were you surprised by any feelings you had?

Thanks for replying and sorry about the questions. It's just nice to hear feedback on something very few people actually get to experience.

[Tank Turner]

Hi Brax1,

From the first time we had sex which was on our first date, my wife and I have always been able to talk openly and honestly about sex without making judgments. Her first sex act on me was a blowjob. She told me that all guys loved blowjobs. Before we fucked, she told me doggie was her favorite position. I was enamored of her sexual confidence and amazing sexual skills. We were both sexually experienced. A week or so into our booty call relationship, we introduced dirty talking into our hook-ups. About a month later, I fell in love with her. She's owned me since.

My wife has most normal and common women's sexual fantasies. Years and two kids before she did it, we'd dirty talk during sex about her sucking cock while I banged her pussy doggie. It turned her on big time. She'd moan, "I wanna a dick in my mouth," while I was fucking her doggie.

Due to an endocrine abnormality, my wife has always had a hyperactive sex drive. She can become insatiably horny. When I dated her, she'd outlast me and that was when three times a night was a given for me. After less than 10 years of marriage, I could not keep pace with her libido. We continued to dirty talk MFM sex. We knew where it was headed.

One evening while we were getting ready to hit a nightclub we did at that time, she confidently told me she was going to seduce a man, bring him home with us, and we were going to fuck her. She did. My only regret was not videoing her first time.

My wife has no problem getting naked. She loves to be naked. So does her sister. A lot of women do. After we we naked in our bedroom with her new male fuck buddy lying on his back on our bed with a hard on, my completely naked wife suddenly stopped for awkward moments. She stared at his cock then at me and then at his cock while the reality of what she planned to do hit her. She straddled him reverse cowgirl and rode him to a quick orgasm. We fucked her for hours that evening/early morning.

After he left, she fell asleep in my arms from exhaustion. We talked about it when we awoke. We had extremely positive feelings about it. There was zero jealousy. I cannot describe it, but the bond that securely tethers us seemed to become stronger as though we shared a crucible together. We crossed a Rubicon, and we successfully made it to magical euphoria, a sexual Shangri-la where my wife experienced intensive, body-levitating, euphoric orgasms that seemed to cause her face to glow more beautifully.

I knew my wife had a lot of sex before I met her. She told me about some of her boyfriends and how they liked to fuck her. She told me that I was the only man she had fucked who preferred to fuck her than get a blow job. She told me that most men liked anal sex, and she was surprised that I had no interest in it. So I was mentally prepared to watch her do what she did many times before I met her.

We have no rules during MFM sex. I never interfere with a sex act she's doing with another guy. She's sexually submissive by nature. As long as it's not degrading, my wife has always submitted to sex acts guys wanted. We almost always begin with her sucking another guy's cock while I'm sucking and licking orgasms out of her pussy. She cannot concentrate on giving blowjobs when she's ready to cum, so when she stops sucking cock and strokes it, I know she's ready to cum. She'll cum to exhaustion, rest for a few minutes, get on her hands and knees, and I'll fuck her doggie while she sucks cock. However, if I thrust too hard inside of her pussy, it will jerk her mouth off of a guy's cock. The point is we'll discuss strategy before we begin.

As long as you know the difference between sex for physical pleasure and sex as expressions of love, it should intensify the bond that connects your wife and you. It might help if you were to visualize another man fucking your wife before you guys do it.

[steveb713]

Guys, how did the dynamic change after your partner first took the leap and slept with someone else?

Did you look at her in a different way? Did she become more confident? Did she feel empowered? Did you feel in awe of here? Were you proud that she actually took that step? Etc

I think we are getting closer and I'm just curious. I think when it happens I will love looking at her and knowing that we have crossed that line, both physically and mentally. I think she will be feeling very powerful which will be a fun dynamic!

Curious to hear your experiences.

All of the above happened for me/us. In addition our marriage of many years has improved dramatically. I believe it’s because there are no secrets or hidden agendas.

Not to mention sex which had always been great is even more wonderful.

The only struggle for me has been working through the angst, anxiety and sometimes jealousy. That’s improved as my wife has made it known I’m her guy. Trouble is she’s not going to have sex with someone she doesn’t car for. At times that’s been threatening to me. At the same time the pluses have far outweighed the negatives.

[tiedyeHotwife]

(husbands response - me typing - autocorrect can't begin to fix his typing)

She walked in the door and said she felt "like a rock star". Clearly still buzzing from the sexual energy.
She was radiant in a way that I had never seen before.
After awesome reclaiming her - I was left staring at my naked wife, asleep. She still smelled like him.
I could imagine everywhere his mouth had been. His hands. His cock.
and I only had a few hours to get my shit in check so she could wake up with me in full control of my emotions so she could relax and process the events.
I knew she undersold how good the sex was with him. I knew she undersold how attracted she was and how easily he seduced her.
"Get my shit together" was my primary thought.

But the next day - she was still my wife. Nothing changed. But you can't help but imagine what she just did, and what he did to her.
It rattles in your head - pretty much forever.

The key is to focus on the "hot" part and keep it just a bit hotter than how jealous you are.
The cure for angst is to keep it just a bit hotter than the level of angst. Always.

Oddly, she will soon be meeting up with the first guy she fucked. Their text exchanges are explicit rememberances of that first night.
Instantly I'm transported back to my wife, naked asleep after returning home, filled with his cum (and my cum), smelling like his cologne, and salty sweat.

[OldBoyToy]

The biggest change I noticed about my wife is she became more social with people, and she started wearing shorter skirts and dresses to work. That was unusual I think for a 54 year old….

[SilverStag]

At first she felt a little guilty, but that gave way to a happiness and confidence that only grew from there. Once she realized that she could make this happen completely on her own terms, she became an advocate.

Do you remember what she felt guilty about exactly? How long did it take for her confidence to grow?

Did you have any doubts afterwards or did it just feel natural? Were you surprised by any feelings you had?

Thanks for replying and sorry about the questions. It's just nice to hear feedback on something very few people actually get to experience.

Our HW journey started differently than most on here. We were swingers (always played together) first. I was taken off-line for a considerable time (we thought it was permanent) due to a motorcycle accident. I gave her permission to play solo.

Her guilt was that she was playing and I was not. I was a bit jealous because she was going n dates and I couldn't. But I soon got over those feelings.

She felt desired and empowered by the attention she receives. She has always been an outgoing personality, but now she knows she can take it wherever she wishes it to go without concern about including me.

[funfortwo]

Guys, how did the dynamic change after your partner first took the leap and slept with someone else?

Did you look at her in a different way? Did she become more confident? Did she feel empowered? Did you feel in awe of here? Were you proud that she actually took that step? Etc

I think we are getting closer and I'm just curious. I think when it happens I will love looking at her and knowing that we have crossed that line, both physically and mentally. I think she will be feeling very powerful which will be a fun dynamic!

Curious to hear your experiences.

Great Question!!

We talked about this dynamic for a number of years before the stars aligned for us. Once that happened, my wife L was of the mindset that this would probably only happen once and was VERY unsure about how this would happen on a continuous basis. She met him, had a connection (admits that she needs a connection for sex) and she really liked him. After her first encounter, she was concerned about how I would react to her, and worried that I would lose respect for her. As a result, she probably had a bit too much to drink during the first encounter and while waiting for me to arrive at the hotel. We had a few more encounters and along the way and I had some mental obstacles to hurdle. So, in talking to L, she admitted she enjoys the encounters, but her biggest concern is how my reaction would be afterwards. Things have really smoothed out for us, and we had some wine and talked about how things have changed for her and us.

She admits that the sex with J is "really good" and she enjoys spending time dressing up for him and preparing for her dates. She seems to have opened herself up sexually with us and is working to loosen up with him as she gets to know him better. From my perspective, she gets excited for her dates and spends time planning it out to make it exciting for him. She has an increase in confidence knowing that someone, other than myself, finds her attractive. L, refers to J as her boyfriend and he is a former NFL player who happens to be a black man with a big dick and an amazing physique. She now admits that she enjoys the interracial aspect and says she really enjoys his big dick also (I'm just over 6" but he is about 8.5" and thick). Her relationship with J has also increased her sexual libido and really enjoys the increase in sex between us as well. In her words, it's a win/win for me, I get to have sex with my boyfriend, and it gets you really excited as well. During our discussion she said she now listens to various podcasts and enjoys Sex with Emily, and they recently had a discussion on cuckolding which was informative. She learned about this hotwife/cuckold dynamic, and it helped explain a lot about how men feel and how it can be beneficial for her as well. Lastly, we had a great relationship before and now it's been taken to a new level. The amount of communication has increased drastically and we really do talk openly and honestly about a lot of topics including our new dynamic. We have learned a lot along this journey and are constantly communicating with each other to ensure that the LS works for all three of us, but most importantly us. Good Luck, it really is a TON OF FUN!

[stevens4fun]

As with Silverstag (above) it wasn't the first threesome for my wife or myself. We'd both been married before and enjoyed a variety of experiences and simply wanted that kind of extra marital fun to continue. I was 40 and she was 30. We'd discussed bringing other men into our bedroom before we married (for once, both of us understood the need to be clear with one another about our expectations and needs).

Her first tryst one morning occured 3 months after our wedding. My wife and her new lover took the day off to play in our bed. It was supposed to be a threesome with me participating but I was late getting home from my job. They had just finished when I came home and made my way into the bedroom. As I entered the room, they were leaning against the headboard chatting, naked. My wife smiled at me and opened her legs a bit to give me a glimpse of her cummy vagina, and of course I took the bait - seconds was magnificent (but culminated fast!) with her boyfriend watching and wishing it was him. But he was spent! :-))))

Our sex life was supercharged after that first "date" in our bedroom. That was the main impact, but it emboldened my wife. She kept (as a regular boyfriend) the guy who took her that first time in our bed - it was a 9 year relationship with him, but restarted a relationship with a previous married boyfriend as well, for you BBC obsessed folks - a well-hung black guy who lived about 200 miles away. This was a once every six weeks or so relationship due to the distance. Most times she was with her local lover without me there, but she loved threesomes. It's just that with family, work travel and other "life" type events, we had to settle for what time we could get for her to see her boyfriends and most times I wasn't there. It isn't like the fantasy stuff we read here where it's several times a week, etc. for us, - an overnighter is a treat when it can be fit in.

[colo_cpl]

We have pretty limited experience here, but can attest to the first time. If I were to sum up a description it would go something like this:

In the hours after; she smiled and played through the motions, kept it light-hearted, smiled, and basically said it was not that big of a deal. Then exactly 30 seconds later; “I can’t believe that happened”, “um, wow, so that happened”, “alrighty then, proud moment – I just fucked a guy”.

In the days after: I could tell things were churning in her head. Obviously the was recounting it, thinking about it. At times it was almost like snapping someone out of a daydream. Granted she is a busy person, with a lot on her plate. But this was different. If I could put my finger on it, she was also a tad more anxious. I think to some extent it was as if she was holding back a secret. It was a life-changing event, crazy wild. And yet, an event that could not be shared with family, friends, or social circles. So, she was processing it more-less on her own.

In the months after: she certainly still thinks about it. He was a one-time thing, that just happened to rock her world. When we talk about it, she mentions it as if it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, where the stars just happened to align, and pigs were at wing, for that rare unicorn to even happen. However, the prospect of doing it again seems overwhelming to her. Where to even start? Where to even find someone to fit the bill? She conceded that while it was hot and mind-blowing, she couldn’t just meet a random guy and fuck him. There needed to be chemistry, a connection, light-hearted fun and humor, nothing heavy, nothing weird. Likewise, she didn’t want the idea to be all consuming. If it just so happened that we might meet the right guy, great! But she didn’t want to put a lot of energy in to it and make it some focal point. Still, I think from time to time she imagines that if it happened once, it could happen again.

[Reno1]

The first time she fucked another guy she fucked another guy and I felt punched in the stomach. The second and third time she fucked another guy I felt punched in the stomach. Then we had a talk, and I finally told her that it actually turned me on and if she would tell me what she was doing I would be totally ok with it.
When she came home a little drunk with two guys cum in her I had the greatest sex of my life. I didn’t know anything could makes us so horny. And I have had that insanely hot sex my whole life.
This only works for guys, if you have sex with another woman your wife will be crazy jealous. It only works when you give your wife permission to fuck other guys. You can, watch, listen, join in or whatever, and you will both be insanely hot with sexual excitement. You have to know you are that kind of guy before you start. There is no turning back once you do.
You wanted the truth. That’s it.

[bewareoflizzy]

After talking about it for months, Liz took the plunge and she was filled with remorse. Her catholic guilt overwhelmed her...for a time. About 2-3 weeks later she asked if I would mind if she saw Jim again after work. I happily said "yes" and she embarked on a journey that lasted 13 years and kept me adoring her 24/7.

[Duff]

Personally I was on a sexual high for weeks! My sexual confidence was through the roof as he and I did interact briefly during the first encounter and she was ok with it, and most of all my feelings for her became stronger than ever.
She was on a high too, more confident in her needs and wants in bed. She asked for more of what she wanted and became a bit of a sexual monster, wanting sex constantly. I know she fantasised about him during sex which I had no issues with. Eventually she admitted that she had many thoughts of getting railed by multiple guys which she eventually did without me.
Our friend brought his girlfriend into the mix once they started dating and that led to lots of new adventures.
I saw a big change in her after this, her sexual confidence increased ten fold, she was open about having whatever guy she wanted and was also at ease with the fact that she was bi.

[dinoo]

At first she felt a little guilty, but that gave way to a happiness and confidence that only grew from there. Once she realized that she could make this happen completely on her own terms, she became an advocate.

Do you remember what she felt guilty about exactly?
How long did it take for her confidence to grow?

Did you have any doubts afterwards or did it just feel natural? Were you surprised by any feelings you had?

Thanks for replying and sorry about the questions. It's just nice to hear feedback on something very few people actually get to experience.

Do you remember what she felt guilty about exactly?
How long did it take for her confidence to grow?
She felt guilty about to be selfish.
From the first time on.

Did you have any doubts afterwards or did it just feel natural?
Were you surprised by any feelings you had?
No, not one doubt and yes, I was surprised I loved she was selfish because from the first moment she turned me into a watcher/cuckold.

[emca753]

My first wife was initially reluctant, guilty, possibly afraid we would have an open marriage, but once she realized she had all the options and I was OK with it, well, more than OK, she loved being a hotwife

[Very Hot Wife]

The first time Becky had sex with another guy created a fantastic buzz for us both. We came away from his house feeling very 'matter of fact' about the whole experience. Went home, had great sex and knew we were hooked.

In the following days, weeks and months we tried it a few more times to make sure we liked it.

Maybe we were lucky, but there was not one moment where we thought it might be a one-off. We both wanted it to happen again and very quickly...!

She called the same guy the next day, arranged a meet that evening and he fucked her even better than the first time. It got better over time and here we are over 20 years later still seeing him, albeit socially now.

From the OP...

"Did you look at her in a different way? Did she become more confident? Did she feel empowered? Did you feel in awe of here? Were you proud that she actually took that step?"

All of the above. Can't say it changed our life, because it happened literally a few days after our first date and it was all new.

But it certainly set the scene for the next 20 something years and we're still enjoying the journey.

[luvwives999]

We had a MMF. Once she realized that I enjoyed her being with other men, she went to his apartment a few times a week to get laid.

[funkyfitter]

The biggest change I noticed about my wife is she became more social with people, and she started wearing shorter skirts and dresses to work. That was unusual I think for a 54 year old….

My wife was 53 when she fucked her first guy out of our marriage. She told me that she wasn't satisfied with our sex life and that she was tired of doing all of the work and that things were going to change. She took control of her/our sex life right the and there and hasn't looked back. That was almost seven years ago. Our whole dynamic has changed.

[OldBoyToy]

The biggest change I noticed about my wife is she became more social with people, and she started wearing shorter skirts and dresses to work. That was unusual I think for a 54 year old….

My wife was 53 when she fucked her first guy out of our marriage. She told me that she wasn't satisfied with our sex life and that she was tired of doing all of the work and that things were going to change. She took control of her/our sex life right the and there and hasn't looked back. That was almost seven years ago. Our whole dynamic has changed.

Is something to be said for letting the woman be in charge!!

[funkyfitter]

The biggest change I noticed about my wife is she became more social with people, and she started wearing shorter skirts and dresses to work. That was unusual I think for a 54 year old….

My wife was 53 when she fucked her first guy out of our marriage. She told me that she wasn't satisfied with our sex life and that she was tired of doing all of the work and that things were going to change. She took control of her/our sex life right the and there and hasn't looked back. That was almost seven years ago. Our whole dynamic has changed.

Is something to be said for letting the woman be in charge!!

My sexual deficiencies and inadequacies put her on the path to sexual freedom which turned out to be exactly what we needed.

[funkyfitter]

The biggest change I noticed about my wife is she became more social with people, and she started wearing shorter skirts and dresses to work. That was unusual I think for a 54 year old….

My wife was 53 when she fucked her first guy out of our marriage. She told me that she wasn't satisfied with our sex life and that she was tired of doing all of the work and that things were going to change. She took control of her/our sex life right the and there and hasn't looked back. That was almost seven years ago. Our whole dynamic has changed.

She fucked alot of guys the first 3 1/2 years, then Covid hit and she slowed down, only playing with 3 guys that she had been fucking for awhile. Then she hooked up with a 42yo guy with an 8 inch cock. She's been fucking him ever since.

[philxxo]

This is a fantastic thread. I will say a lot of people aren't really saying if they saw her differently after the fact. The psychological impact would be the most interesting to me. How the woman change, and did the man see his wife/GF differently? Was there more intense love and or sex? Was the couple closer? More distant in some ways?

[leggysman]

How the woman change

Happier and more excited, and having more fun

did the man see his wife/GF differently?

It just confirmed she was as adventurous and awesome as I was always sure she was

Was there more intense love and or sex?

Most definitely!

More distant in some ways?

In the beginning there was a lot of NRE with her first guy, somewhat to our detriment. But when that bothered/worried me I told her, and it was addressed (which to be fair - it was NRE, which is by definition temporary - so I was probably being an oversensitive newbie anyway).

But not more distant, no. Closer.