Newbie having problems flirting

[aztd]

Bump

[snoogaloo82]

We mostly use SLS. I definitely learned a lot this week. Meeting B twice really helped, especially meeting him by myself. I feel like the messages come a lot more naturally now. Unfortunately he doesn’t live around us and is only here 2 weeks at a time. He went home today so we won’t be able to see each other again til 12/10. I guess I will have lots of practice with messaging the next couple weeks.

as they say..."practice makes perfect" lol

[lanceHarden25]

I’ll give you the advice I’d give my teenage self. Don’t set up men (girls in my case) as something mysterious. They’ve got all the same insecurities as you do. Just talk to them - in person or online - with genuine interest in them. If you set out to flirt it will seem forced. Besides, you’re a woman, we’re already interested in you.

[Xraygirl_4832]

I’m definitely finding out that having boobs is my main weapon

[snoogaloo82]

I’m definitely finding out that having boobs is my main weapon

It's amazing what an effective weapon boobs are!!

[Xraygirl_4832]

You should ask “the good hub” how good I am getting at texting… I might of had fun last night

[snoogaloo82]

You should ask “the good hub” how good I am getting at texting… I might of had fun last night

Please do tell your side of things!!

[The good hub]

Oh, it was pretty outstanding for a newbie!! Ask her for the details!!

[snoogaloo82]

Oh, it was pretty outstanding for a newbie!! Ask her for the details!!

You two should combine your stories as we get each of you saying "you should check out the other" lol

[Xraygirl_4832]

So, Friday night my husband and I were going on a 2 trip road trip and suggested I should try messaging B. B had been playing with my boob on my Wednesday night meet up with him and I had a little bruise from his play. I took a picture of it and sent it to him and said I wish he could kiss the bruise for me. Of course he quickly messaged me he would have of if he was with me. We went back and forth, sending very flirty text messages, messaging what were are going to do with each other the next time we meet. He then told me that he had come twice on 24 hrs thinking of me and was working on his 3rd time as we were texting. It was so hot to think someone was so turned on by me…. By the end of our 2 hr ride I was all hot and bothered and he had come for the third time that day.

[snoogaloo82]

So, Friday night my husband and I were going on a 2 trip road trip and suggested I should try messaging B. B had been playing with my boob on my Wednesday night meet up with him and I had a little bruise from his play. I took a picture of it and sent it to him and said I wish he could kiss the bruise for me. Of course he quickly messaged me he would have of if he was with me. We went back and forth, sending very flirty text messages, messaging what were are going to do with each other the next time we meet. He then told me that he had come twice on 24 hrs thinking of me and was working on his 3rd time as we were texting. It was so hot to think someone was so turned on by me…. By the end of our 2 hr ride I was all hot and bothered and he had come for the third time that day.

it's amazing what words can do to one's libido!!

[Carlas husband]

So, Friday night my husband and I were going on a 2 trip road trip and suggested I should try messaging B. B had been playing with my boob on my Wednesday night meet up with him and I had a little bruise from his play. I took a picture of it and sent it to him and said I wish he could kiss the bruise for me. Of course he quickly messaged me he would have of if he was with me. We went back and forth, sending very flirty text messages, messaging what were are going to do with each other the next time we meet. He then told me that he had come twice on 24 hrs thinking of me and was working on his 3rd time as we were texting. It was so hot to think someone was so turned on by me…. By the end of our 2 hr ride I was all hot and bothered and he had come for the third time that day.

This post in a thread headlined “I have trouble flirting” …

In my humble opinion, you are doing very, very, very well.

[The good hub]

As we kinda expected, the flirting comes much easier when she knows the person a little. She has had 2 meetings with B. They have good conversations and we all message often about random stuff. It amazes us how some ppl will message us in the site and be like “hey, how are you”. Their next message will be “so tell me what you want want me to do to you”. Obviously, that was what was freaking her out and I can’t blame her. Have to get comfortable with someone first is what is working for her

[bradisalpha]

Xraygirl, First off, welcome!

2inUP and parklife gave very good advice.
I love to flirt and that's how I meet my guys. If in person, at the store, or anywhere around town I just make eye contact and smile, then make eye contact again and hold it a little. That normally leads to us talking.
When texting or emailing, It's a touch harder because we can't see each other. Then I will talk more, just chat, getting to know each other. If I'm comfortable with him and he with me, the flirting begins slight and small, slowly escalating as we chat over the days. I want it to be a slow build so he can't wait to text me again and again.
Don't put pressure on yourself, just chat and get to know each other. If you click, the flirting will come naturally without need to think about it.

Keep in mind that most flirting doesn't lead to sex, it's not supposed to. It's supposed to be "fun and flirty", something you enjoy and something the guy enjoys.
It helps to start seeing everything colored in a slight mist of sex, and doing what makes you feel sexy.

BTW, I posted before I read the reply by LFA, listen to her too!

Farmgirl’s advice is “dead on”.. as usual !!! “Fun and flirty” is a warm and comfortable place to be. It is contagious.. draws others.. and opens conversation that may or may not hold your same desire to go further… but, will always be enjoyable !!

Just sayin…

Brad

[snoogaloo82]

As we kinda expected, the flirting comes much easier when she knows the person a little. She has had 2 meetings with B. They have good conversations and we all message often about random stuff. It amazes us how some ppl will message us in the site and be like “hey, how are you”. Their next message will be “so tell me what you want want me to do to you”. Obviously, that was what was freaking her out and I can’t blame her. Have to get comfortable with someone first is what is working for her

It definitely seems like my sweetie's the same way. The guy always wants to move faster than the woman. And I now know that a woman wants to know what's in a man's mind as well as his groin! lol

[Lookingforadventure]

As we kinda expected, the flirting comes much easier when she knows the person a little. She has had 2 meetings with B. They have good conversations and we all message often about random stuff. It amazes us how some ppl will message us in the site and be like “hey, how are you”. Their next message will be “so tell me what you want want me to do to you”. Obviously, that was what was freaking her out and I can’t blame her. Have to get comfortable with someone first is what is working for her

It's better than the guy that reached out to me and said that he was saying hello to me because "the hot women never respond." LOL.
Or the ones who start with a dick pic and say something like "Hey slut, do you want this?"

Some guys are just clueless. You have to laugh about it.

I'm glad you found a good guy.

[snoogaloo82]

As we kinda expected, the flirting comes much easier when she knows the person a little. She has had 2 meetings with B. They have good conversations and we all message often about random stuff. It amazes us how some ppl will message us in the site and be like “hey, how are you”. Their next message will be “so tell me what you want want me to do to you”. Obviously, that was what was freaking her out and I can’t blame her. Have to get comfortable with someone first is what is working for her

It's better than the guy that reached out to me and said that he was saying hello to me because "the hot women never respond." LOL.
Or the ones who start with a dick pic and say something like "Hey slut, do you want this?"

Some guys are just clueless. You have to laugh about it.

I'm glad you found a good guy.

You really did find a good guy. He's not only a "good guy" but a "great guy"!!! He's a winner in my book! Both of you are super fortunate to have met each other as you fit each other so perfectly!!

[The good hub]

better than the guy that reached out to me and said that he was saying hello to me because "the hot women never respond." LOL.

Wait, wait, wait…lokingforadventire, am I reading that correctly??? As in you’re NOT hot?? WTF??

Ok, we haven’t gotten any that bad but at least 9 out of 10 send a few word reply. Or no reply at all. Or something involving their dick. Wish their was a mandatory training class you had to pass before responding to profiles, lol!!

[Xraygirl_4832]

Definitely agree with the mandatory training classes. J that I met for lunch on Thursday is a prime example. Showed up late, talks to me very little, and was checking out the bartender as I am talking to him. Long story short, not meeting up with him again.

[snoogaloo82]

Definitely agree with the mandatory training classes. J that I met for lunch on Thursday is a prime example. Showed up late, talks to me very little, and was checking out the bartender as I am talking to him. Long story short, not meeting up with him again.

I think there should be a class in school with the ins and outs of being a gentleman. So many men could use some help with that, but I think a lot of it comes from ignorance and if they only knew better how to treat a woman properly then the better off their sex lives would be.

[The good hub]

Little update after the holiday:

B is still at the top of our list but scheduling is looking like it will be a problem. So back to sls the last few days and a few messages that went nowhere until tonight. Got one with real potential. Fingers crossed

[snoogaloo82]

Little update after the holiday:

B is still at the top of our list but scheduling is looking like it will be a problem. So back to sls the last few days and a few messages that went nowhere until tonight. Got one with real potential. Fingers crossed

My fingers are crossed for you.

[whosbeensleeping]

Hoping that your two possible guys don't scare the BM out of you!

[Greg_N_Shelley]

We mostly use SLS. I definitely learned a lot this week. Meeting B twice really helped, especially meeting him by myself. I feel like the messages come a lot more naturally now. Unfortunately he doesn’t live around us and is only here 2 weeks at a time. He went home today so we won’t be able to see each other again til 12/10. I guess I will have lots of practice with messaging the next couple weeks.

Thanks for clarifying that about SLS. If you're shy in person, chatting online first is a great way to break the ice and it always helps when there's an understanding of everyone's possible intentions.

People are different. From what I gather, Farmgirl likes to flirt in person and seems skilled at seducing her picks. Shelley was always the opposite. She had no trouble chatting and flirting online, but in person she was completely buttoned up by her introverted personality. As an example, she'd often run into a guy at Starbucks who caught her interest and clearly flirted with her every time they met. But even though she found him attractive, she never could bring herself to say more than a few polite words much less hint at her 'availability'.

As everyone else has remarked, do what feels fun and most comfortable for you.

I'm glad to hear everything is developing well! I suspect the flirting matter will be a moot topic rather soon.

[MartasBoy]

My husband and I are very new to the hotwife lifestyle. We have been together for over 20 years and married for 17. He was my first sexual experience. I have only had one other that was, to be blunt, horrible. I am finding myself struggling with flirting with other men. I haven’t had to do that in multiple years and I feel like I don’t know where to start. My husband and I were friends first so flirting with him came very easy. I’m curious, are there other women out there that struggled with this in the beginning? How did you get better?

The part I’m struggling the most with is messaging. My husband says I should message what feels natural, but that’s the issue. I feel out of my element. I would love to know how people’s conversations start and progress; at this point any input would be helpful. We have met with a couple of men and feel I do much better in person.

Flirting with us men is so easy. We are easy. It doesn't take a lot of sophistication. We like being complimented, we like having our stupid jokes laughed at.

When flirting through text messages or online, a simple "lol", "that's funny", or "you make me laugh", in response to any stupid joke we make, is incredibly effective with most of us.

Saying things like, "I really enjoy talking with you." is good.

Once photos are exchanged, think of any little positive thing you feel you can honestly say about the person.: "Oh, I like a hairy chest on a man." But it's probably best to only say things that you truly feel.

Most of us men are biologically wired to feel a little rushed at a woman merely smiling at us, or hearing a woman's positive sounding voice tones, or they're laughter.
So many women find it annoying when a man tells them "Hey sweetie, you should smile more. You're pretty." But the reason we get caught up in doing that, is that our brains are biologically wired to respond favorably to a woman smiling at us.

Flirting with us is really pretty easy.

When I run in the early morning in my neighborhood, I often encounter women runners. I have noticed that most all women runners know to avoid smiling and returning s cherry "hello" to a man running in their neighborhood. It is because, all it takes is for a woman to try and be polite and pleasant, and return a smile and a cheery good morning, and one out of three guys is likely to turn around, run up alongside them and say, "So, do you run at this time most mornings?" And ruin the solitude of their run.

So women who go out for a drink by themselves, or are waiting for a girlfriend to show up, know to be very cautious and subdued about smiling at men who are friendly with them at the bar. Turn that around, and all you need to do to flirt, is flash some guy a very warm smile.