Hotwife question

[Treat yourself girl]

I love Amy being a Hotwife, and she loves the freedom I give her to fuck other guys. However, she'd go crazy if I got my hands on another woman. While I'm hot to see her with other guys, she's definately not fantasising about me screwing other chicks. I have no issue with this... we are wired differently, plus Amy is my dream girl, no need to look elsewhere.

So question for the Hotwives... what are your thoughts on hubby screwing around?

[Trondheim92-94]

I love Amy being a Hotwife, and she loves the freedom I give her to fuck other guys. However, she'd go crazy if I got my hands on another woman. While I'm hot to see her with other guys, she's definately not fantasising about me screwing other chicks. I have no issue with this... we are wired differently, plus Amy is my dream girl, no need to look elsewhere.

So question for the Hotwives... what are your thoughts on hubby screwing around?

For me and us, this is a total no go
In or relationship it was my bf that brougth this up in the first place. I was not into it back then, But now i love it.
This build alot of trust between us.

That my bf is with other girls are not in our thougths at all, because thats not a part of our fantasie, But i totaly understand if sombody else have that as a part of it

[chard]

My wife was ok with me screwing around, didn't happen too often though, she got so much more extra-marital sex than I ever did. There was one time when she booked me a sensual massage for my birthday.

[MarknSusan]

My wife enjoys hearing about and watching me with other women. I feel the same about her interactions.

[Bluetoed]

I think it all comes down to how each person's body reacts to emotions they could/would feel from watching. And it's not specifically the emotion, but more importantly how their body reacts to the emotion.

For example, compersion should be a feeling both spouses feel in every marriage. If a spouse doesn't feel it, then I would question if the two are really in love. So there should be some degree of compersion for a spouse to see their spouse having sex with someone else. It may be smaller than other emotions that drown it out, but it should be there to some degree.

But it's the hormonal response to emotions that each of our body's have that can be drastically different. Many different emotions trigger the body to release certain hormones, and how much of that hormone that gets released as a response varies from person to person. A person who experiences a small release of hormones may feel nothing in addition to the emotion they are feeling. But an extreme release of hormones can make the person feel another extreme feeling in addition to the emotion.

For example, I have a hyperreaction to sudden loud noises. The emotion is it scares the shit out of me. But I also feel a wave of hormones course through my body that feels cold. It disappears quickly. My wife hearing the same sudden loud noise will react, probably with the same emotion I did, but not feel anything physical as a response like I do.

And this is the root of my desire for my wife being a hotwife. I feel compersion for the pleasure my wife is experiencing that I cannot give her. That compersion causes a hyperreaction of hormones being released in my body that is incredibly sexually appealing to feel. It doesn't take long before it is so pleasurable that I have an intense orgasm just from the thought of her having sex.

Her on the other hand, I have no doubt she would feel compersion for the pleasure I would have from having sex with someone else. But any amount of hormone release from the emotion of compersion is so small or non-existent in her that she doesn't derive sexual pleasure from watching it, let alone achieving an orgasm from it. And if she feels any other emotion from watching me, that could drown out her awareness of compersion, and even a small amount of pleasurable hormonal response. The sum of everything being considered being that she would say "it does nothing for me."

And compersion is not the only emotion that can trigger release of sexually arousing hormones. For some hotwife husbands it is the emotion of humility that triggers the hormonal hyper-response. For others it is jealousy that does. And there are probably many other examples. It's just a matter of figuring out what makes us tick.

I fully believe women can experience an extreme hormonal response to an emotion she feels from watching her husband do another woman. But not a lot of women would not, just like a lot of men have no pleasurable response to their wife having sex with someone else. It is a person by person thing, not a male/female thing.

I think men may be more likely to discover what makes them tick than women, but that may be due to social/religious influences.

[SilverStag]

My HW actively encourages my solo play....as long as she trusts that the other woman has no nefarious agenda. Consequently, I play with the wives of couples we have played with, Cecil's girlfriends and a few that I have found on my own along with some couples who invite me to be the 3rd in MFM. Cecil and I meet a new prospect together both to assure her that I am not cheating as well as take her measure as a trustworthy person. It is the same as I do for her guys.

Perhaps we had a head start because we were swingers before the idea of solo play entered our world. The idea of the separation of sex and love as well as transparency and great communication are keystone to our success.

You can follow along on my solo play under my thread "Stag Play Today" in the Stag/Vixen section here.

[Iamgroot]

When we first started in the lifestyle, it was strictly about her getting action, but after a decade of her getting to play with me as the observer and participant, she finally agreed that if a lady wanted me or accepted my advanced, she was willing to accept it. Lo and behold, a lady asked me to play at the NYE swinger party when I least expected it since I wasn't dressed as well as my hotwife. My wife sucked me as I made out with the older woman and she watched as this stranger (I still don't know her name) went down on me! My wife told me I deserved it and she was glad to see I was happy.

[Johnann2227]

We started swinging in our early 20s and loved it. We both got off watching each other with different lovers. We then progressed to swinging and open marriage. From there we have arrived at today where we swing weekly and Ann is a hotwife and dates twice a week. I am turning 49 and between fucking Ann 4 nights per week and swinging every Saturday night I am more than satisfied. Ann is 47 and loves daily sex. Her boyfriends are saving me from an early heart attack! We still love watching each other with lovers.

[Tank Turner]

My wife has offer to bring another woman to me to fuck. I can't sexually satisfy my wife, so it'd be impossible to keep two women happy. And there is no other woman I want to fuck. We're in love with each other. Biology limits middle-aged men's performance abilities. Women in their sexual primes that can last for 30 years can fuck all day every day.

[MarknSusan]

My wife has offer to bring another woman to me to fuck. I can't sexually satisfy my wife, so it'd be impossible to keep two women happy. And there is no other woman I want to fuck. We're in love with each other. Biology limits middle-aged men's performance abilities. Women in their sexual primes that can last for 30 years can fuck all day every day.

Biology doesn’t necessarily limit men or women’s ability.

Bio identical HRT, for women. Testosterone and Cialis for men are both an amazing fountain of youth.

[Her number1]

My wife has offer to bring another woman to me to fuck. I can't sexually satisfy my wife, so it'd be impossible to keep two women happy. And there is no other woman I want to fuck. We're in love with each other. Biology limits middle-aged men's performance abilities. Women in their sexual primes that can last for 30 years can fuck all day every day.

Biology doesn’t necessarily limit men or women’s ability.

Bio identical HRT, for women. Testosterone and Cialis for men are both an amazing fountain of youth.

I have to agree, my stamina increased with middle age.

[Thebestdays1]

It was my ex wife's idea to have an open marriage, when I proposed to her. She'd been shown the benefits of such an arrangement by a married couple when they took her virginity. She had a couple of foursomes soon afterwards and as she discovered she was bi, enjoyed the thrill of seeing another woman naked too. She soon realised that she would never be able to be faithful and when I proposed, she told me that she wanted both of us to enjoy this sort of lifestyle.
It was her that suggested that I could go with her elder sister and when something did happen between us, my fiancee wanted to know all the details and said I should have gone further. Her sister came on to me the following weekend and in the 15 minutes we were together, she bought me off twice, the second time I slipped into her as I came. When I admitted what happened, my fiancee kissed me passionately before going down on me and cleaning my penis. Then she teased me about losing my virginity to her sister.
From my very first visit to her family's house, she encouraged the elder sister to sit on my lap whenever the younger sister and her family popped in to visit. After a while the sister would routinely sit on my lap, even when I was sitting next to my, by now, wife and I'd sit with my arm around her waist and she'd kiss me when she sat down and got up.
Every time my SIL and I did something more than before, my wife would get excited and encourage me to go further. The day after the SIL and I finally fucked each other properly, my wife initiated a threesome between us. I didn't know how to concentrate on pleasing both women at the same time and became a little nervous about my performance. My wife noticed this so she nipped upstairs and borrowed her sister's sex toy and proceeded to masturbate herself through more orgasms than I could have given her in a week as she watched me with her sister.
Many years later, she had a relationship with a female colleague, twice our age who was a widow, but who had, had an open marriage with her two late husbands. She encouraged her friend to come on to me during a work party and soon, we were both seeing this woman, but never together. I wasn't allowed to ask what she did when she had been with another woman but she always wanted to know what I and her friend had done.
A couple of years later, her younger sister had gone through a divorce and then the breakup of another relationship and she encouraged the sister to come on to me. Unfortunately, the opportunities for us to get together were rare and we'd either have a quick fuck or she'd suck me off. She was so beautiful and such a lovely person that I never lasted more than a couple of minutes. My wife still wanted to know all the details though.
I only had one encounter with a woman that my wife didn't originally suggest and that resulted in a hand job and my wife was just as excited, when I told her.

[Tank Turner]

My wife has offered to bring another woman to me to fuck. I can't sexually satisfy my wife, so it'd be impossible to keep two women happy. And there is no other woman I want to fuck. We're in love with each other. Biology limits middle-aged men's performance abilities. Women in their sexual primes that can last for 30 years can fuck all day every day.

Biology doesn’t necessarily limit men or women’s ability.

Bio identical HRT, for women. Testosterone and Cialis for men are both an amazing fountain of youth.

Hi MarknSusan,

Why testosterone therapy and supplements for men if human biology did not cause men to suffer decreased testosterone production as they mature?

I can still get three money shots a day if we start in the morning and I do not drink. Through my 20s, I got three a night without effort.

Our friend who's a couple years older than me has ED med stamina. According to my wife, after his third and sometimes fourth money shot, he can get hard but he doesn't cum.

[Parsifal]

[S]he's definately not fantasising about me screwing other chicks. . . . [W]e are wired differently . . .

So question for the Hotwives... what are your thoughts on hubby screwing around?

Not a hotwife but I can articulate the consensus I've reached with mine on that issue. While there are many exceptions to the general tendencies we've observed, women are much less capable than men in dealing with jealousy in that kind of dynamic, and so while women are every bit if not more empathetic and able to compartmentalize in many situations, jealousy is that one drop of black paint that turns the whole vial a dark shade of grey. My wife would never allow me to play, unless perhaps I coerced her by making symmetry between us a quid pro quo of her getting to continue her own outside encounters. But no way I would put it to her like that. I'm more able to take one for the team in that sense than she is.

The harder question you raised is whether the uncompromising jealousy she would feel truly is "hardwired" or a socially conditioned response. She and I aren't certain about it being bio-determined, so we do want to explore around the edges of that problem with a little social science type experimentation - not with hubby screwing around but merely with the idea of hubby doing so.

[MarknSusan]

My wife has offered to bring another woman to me to fuck. I can't sexually satisfy my wife, so it'd be impossible to keep two women happy. And there is no other woman I want to fuck. We're in love with each other. Biology limits middle-aged men's performance abilities. Women in their sexual primes that can last for 30 years can fuck all day every day.

Biology doesn’t necessarily limit men or women’s ability.

Bio identical HRT, for women. Testosterone and Cialis for men are both an amazing fountain of youth.

Hi MarknSusan,

Why testosterone therapy and supplements for men if human biology did not cause men to suffer decreased testosterone production as they mature?

I can still get three money shots a day if we start in the morning and I do not drink. Through my 20s, I got three a night without effort.

Our friend who's a couple years older than me has ED med stamina. According to my wife, after his third and sometimes fourth money shot, he can get hard but he doesn't cum.

Hello Tankturner.

All I can say is for me and several of our friends is Testosterone therapy is a fountain of youth. If you don’t need it, that’s great. Susan is on HRT as well and I’m not exaggerating…sex is better now than when we were in our 20’s.

[WatchinginNJ]

I've had several hotwife relationships and open relationships in my life. They were all just as varied as the women themselves.

My most intense and pure hotwife relationship was completely one sided. Part of why she struggled so hard with embracing it was she couldn't get past the fact that she would flip her lid if I did the same thing. Her initial reaction was "you want to fuck other girls don't you?" We broke up for unrelated reasons, but to the end she never got past it. We went through a delayed and convoluted break up. What finally did it in? She called me at like 2 am, and when I refused to talk to her because I had a visitor, she freaked out. Meanwhile she was hooking up regularly, and telling me "it's not the same anymore". She wrote me a really heartbroken letter that she finally realized what she lost after that.

People have an amazing way of compartmentalizing different aspects of their lives that often isn't logical, but very real to that person.

[Farmgirl]

I love Amy being a Hotwife, and she loves the freedom I give her to fuck other guys. However, she'd go crazy if I got my hands on another woman. While I'm hot to see her with other guys, she's definately not fantasising about me screwing other chicks. I have no issue with this... we are wired differently, plus Amy is my dream girl, no need to look elsewhere.

So question for the Hotwives... what are your thoughts on hubby screwing around?

I have allowed it at times, but generally, I don't want my Number1 with other women. It takes a "special" woman, one that I trust, for me to even think about it.
Flirting, on the other hand, is something that I enjoy that he enjoys. I guess there is a bit of maybe...... pride, that I like about the 30-somethings and 40-somethings wanting my husband .

[Parsifal]

I love Amy being a Hotwife, and she loves the freedom I give her to fuck other guys. However, she'd go crazy if I got my hands on another woman. While I'm hot to see her with other guys, she's definately not fantasising about me screwing other chicks. I have no issue with this... we are wired differently, plus Amy is my dream girl, no need to look elsewhere.

So question for the Hotwives... what are your thoughts on hubby screwing around?

I have allowed it at times, but generally, I don't want my Number1 with other women. It takes a "special" woman, one that I trust, for me to even think about it.
Flirting, on the other hand, is something that I enjoy that he enjoys. I guess there is a bit of maybe...... pride, that I like about the 30-somethings and 40-somethings wanting my husband .

Your stage of acceptance is a few steps past my wife's. I'm only now inching her into having common enjoyment with me of a special mutual attraction I have with another woman. That she's positive about that kind of thought between us is a significant development in our relationship, I think, because the trust factor must be very strong for her to resist her natural impulse to feel jealous of and competitive with another female.

[Farmgirl]

Your stage of acceptance is a few steps past my wife's. I'm only now inching her into having common enjoyment with me of a special mutual attraction I have with another woman. That she's positive about that kind of thought between us is a significant development in our relationship, I think, because the trust factor must be very strong for her to resist her natural impulse to feel jealous of and competitive with another female.

Oh, I don't know , I don't think my acceptance is any further along than your wife's. My jealousy can run pretty deep! Just with the right woman and the right time.......maybe .

[Natatude]

No way no how!! When hubby wanted me to see other men I asked him if he wanted other women? He said no, I was the best at everything and he just wants to share me. I told him good thing because I couldn’t live with him being with another woman! Grizzly is a very handsome man and women have flirted with him over the years and all I see is red!! I will throat punch someone over him!!!

[Tank Turner]

Hi MarknSusan,

Thank you so much. I appreciate it. I will look into it.

Trying to cheat human biology (aging) is futile. However, medicine can augment normal biological functions. It appears that testosterone therapy is a useful augment. It's probably safer than ED meds med use to keep up with their wives' demands. When out friend comes over, he takes an ED pill. He'll easily out last me. My wife said he can stay hard for a long time and recover with another erection quickly. She doesn't think and is close to positive that after he cums three times, maybe four time, he can get hard but he doesn't cum.

Thanks again, MarknSusan. I will ask my physician about testosterone therapy. If it works, my wife will be ecstatic.

[Lookingforadventure]

I have allowed it at times, but generally, I don't want my Number1 with other women. It takes a "special" woman, one that I trust, for me to even think about it.
Flirting, on the other hand, is something that I enjoy that he enjoys. I guess there is a bit of maybe...... pride, that I like about the 30-somethings and 40-somethings wanting my husband .

Phew! Because this 40-something kind of enjoys flirting with your husband

[sherulestherooster]

My most intense and pure hotwife relationship was completely one sided. Part of why she struggled so hard with embracing it was she couldn't get past the fact that she would flip her lid if I did the same thing. Her initial reaction was "you want to fuck other girls don't you?"

For me as a submissive, the one-sidedness of it was a big part of the eroticism. It took my ex several years to wrap her head around me NOT wanting to play with other women but letting her have a hall pass. When she started dating other men, her “body count” would frequently come into play during our marital sex foreplay. She would often emphasize that although she’d be playing with more men, her pussy was my last. It was a big turn on. It was almost like an affirmation of our kinky play that was recited regularly.

I literally have zero desire to have sex outside my relationship. Almost every woman I’ve ever known has said male infidelity was a complete dealbreaker, no excuses. Also I think the differences between the sexes matter a lot here. A willing female has way more ease and opportunity than a single male to hook up in a NSA relationship.

[Farmgirl]

I have allowed it at times, but generally, I don't want my Number1 with other women. It takes a "special" woman, one that I trust, for me to even think about it.
Flirting, on the other hand, is something that I enjoy that he enjoys. I guess there is a bit of maybe...... pride, that I like about the 30-somethings and 40-somethings wanting my husband .

Phew! Because this 40-something kind of enjoys flirting with your husband

He's kinda hooked on you ! I'm more than good with you flirting with him .

[jw_kk]

Interesting... my wife KK and I have similar asymmetry in our relationship.

She is damn near homicidally jealous when it comes to me and other women. I've been caught red-handed a couple of times with affair partners. The outcome was not pretty, in fact terrifying. In one event, KK engaged in a car chase across town, hell-bent on killing my lover Bev. She managed to corner Bev in a parking garage. Fortunately I arrived in time to intervene before any real physical harm occurred.

In contrast, I encourage and support KK having sex with anyone she pleases. This was one of the barrier issues we experienced in the transition to the hot wife lifestyle - KK was convinced that part of my motivation was to use it as an excuse to fuck other women - something that honestly never entered into my mind.

I gave up long ago trying to understand it, and just accept it.