Kids in the mix

[snoogaloo82]

Hello,
We have 2 kids ages 3 and 5. How do we deal with a hotwife relationship with them about? So far they've been with Marion's mother, but they are coming to live with us soon. What age do we tell them the story behind what we do behind closed doors? Any ideas or thoughts on the topic would be greatly appreciated by the both of us.
Take care,
Marion & Rik

[Shadnaster]

We're in the same situation. We never host at home nor do we ever plan on telling our kids what we do in the bedroom.

When we had a sitter, we'd both go out and get a room. Our sitter decided to get married and move away a while back (the nerve of her). So, she started to go out alone. At first, it was out of necessity. But then we realized, we were saving a bunch of money. While I miss watching, there's just some stuff that is so much hotter with her going out alone.

[snoogaloo82]

We're in the same situation. We never host at home nor do we ever plan on telling our kids what we do in the bedroom.

When we had a sitter, we'd both go out and get a room. Our sitter decided to get married and move away a while back (the nerve of her). So, she started to go out alone. At first, it was out of necessity. But then we realized, we were saving a bunch of money. While I miss watching, there's just some stuff that is so much hotter with her going out alone.

Thank you for letting us know of your experiences. That's really helpful!! :-)

[Her number1]

There is no need to tell the kids about your sex lives.
When it came to sex and sexual things, I waited until my daughter (our oldest) began asking questions about sex, birthing, and such. That age comes early on a ranch having witnessed the animals, so I always answered her in terms she could understand. Throughout her childhood, she asked more and more in-depth questions, leading to me giving more in-depth answers.
I don't believe in shielding kids from normal things but give age-appropriate answers and knowledge, and that age is different for each child.

When our kids were young, I took them on outings and adventures so Farmgirl could play. It was a win all around.

[snoogaloo82]

There is no need to tell the kids about your sex lives.
When it came to sex and sexual things, I waited until my daughter (our oldest) began asking questions about sex, birthing, and such. That age comes early on a ranch having witnessed the animals, so I always answered her in terms she could understand. Throughout her childhood, she asked more and more in-depth questions, leading to me giving more in-depth answers.
I don't believe in shielding kids from normal things but give age-appropriate answers and knowledge, and that age is different for each child.

When our kids were young, I took them on outings and adventures so Farmgirl could play. It was a win all around.

Thank you for your help. I love that you guys lived on a farm for real. That would come in handy for our kids to learn things without any weird connotations associated with it.

[Johnann2227]

We have been swingers since before we married. After a few years we decided to have an open marriage. This worked out fine before kids. With kids it became harder but we still went swinging at least once a month and our parents would mind the kids. When our kids got to about 7 and 4 they started noticing mummy not being home at breakfast. I would have to make up lies about mummy staying at a friends house or going to the gym early. We never had any of our boyfriends to our house. It was their place or hotels. When the kids were really young some of her boyfriends would pick her up for dates. We would introduce them as friends of mummy's from work.
For a few years we really had to slow the hotwifing down as there just wasn't the opportunities with so many family things happening. When our kids were mid teens Ann was able to start dating again and move away from one night stands. We timetabled Tuesday nights and Friday nights as date nights for her. Saturday nights were for our swinging group. We told the kids that Tuesday nights were dinner and book club nights for mum with teachers she worked with. She was always home by midnight. Friday nights were girls' nights out with the other wives in our swinger group. We would tell the kids that mum was out for dinner and dancing with Aunties ###, %%%, &&& etc. She was staying at their house. On these nights Ann would have sleepovers with her boyfriends. She would always be home before 11am so that she could go to kids sport.
Last year our daughter (20 at the time) started asking questions about where Ann was. She had clicked that something was up. She thought that Ann was cheating. We had no real option but to explain that we were swingers and in to hotwifing. This took a lot of conversations and tears but she eventually came to understand that nobody was doing anything wrong. She now knows everything including our weekly swinger parties, Ann's bisexuality etc. Our son is now 18 and we have told him. After a while (and with our daughters help) he now accepts our lifestyle choices. We told our kids because they asked questions that we did not want to lie about. We didn't openly tell them. Privacy between parents and kids is important (in our opinion).

[Iamgroot]

When our kids were little, we played in our bedroom with the door locked in case they got up at night, but we soon upgraded to having Grandma watch them overnight (Grandma doesn't know her daughter is a hotwife). As the kids were pre and early teens, I would take them out to see a movie or to an amusement park, bowling, or Comic Con while my wife played alone. We also did stays at hotels when they were old enough to stay home by themselves. Now, the kids are 20 and 17. They don't seem to care what we do, and we never told them anything. It's not any of their business and it doesn't concern them. I don't think they want to know, either.

[snoogaloo82]

Hello,
We have 2 kids ages 3 and 5. How do we deal with a hotwife relationship with them about? So far they've been with Marion's mother, but they are coming to live with us soon. What age do we tell them the story behind what we do behind closed doors? Any ideas or thoughts on the topic would be greatly appreciated by the both of us.
Take care,
Marion & Rik

We are both 33, turning 34 this year ….we got into this life stage in our mid 20s ….we are glad we discovered this amazing lifestyle early….we pushed having kids ..only recently we have twins who are three years old. After about 7-8 months I slowly encouraged her to get back and let’s enjoy what we can by having a family and enjoying this life ….
For us both parents help out when possible, we drop them at their place for us to go out together or I look after and she has an amazing time…specially those late night dates . Over the years she has developed active lovers, cohusband and boyfriend we trust we allow to come home or she goes to their place ..not so close ones are normally hotel paid by them …we seldom spend. At the moment , as the kids are young …not knowing much …..few of wife lovers actually come home and take over the masterbedroom while I sleep next door, watching the twins …at times I get to join or I service for mm.

Both wife and I support our needs by communicating often and sharing what our needs and wants are…at the same time balancing family life . Our goal is while we are young enjoy This lifestyle as much as possible

Sounds like a good plan. Thank you for sharing your experiences!

[snoogaloo82]

We have been swingers since before we married. After a few years we decided to have an open marriage. This worked out fine before kids. With kids it became harder but we still went swinging at least once a month and our parents would mind the kids. When our kids got to about 7 and 4 they started noticing mummy not being home at breakfast. I would have to make up lies about mummy staying at a friends house or going to the gym early. We never had any of our boyfriends to our house. It was their place or hotels. When the kids were really young some of her boyfriends would pick her up for dates. We would introduce them as friends of mummy's from work.
For a few years we really had to slow the hotwifing down as there just wasn't the opportunities with so many family things happening. When our kids were mid teens Ann was able to start dating again and move away from one night stands. We timetabled Tuesday nights and Friday nights as date nights for her. Saturday nights were for our swinging group. We told the kids that Tuesday nights were dinner and book club nights for mum with teachers she worked with. She was always home by midnight. Friday nights were girls' nights out with the other wives in our swinger group. We would tell the kids that mum was out for dinner and dancing with Aunties ###, %%%, &&& etc. She was staying at their house. On these nights Ann would have sleepovers with her boyfriends. She would always be home before 11am so that she could go to kids sport.
Last year our daughter (20 at the time) started asking questions about where Ann was. She had clicked that something was up. She thought that Ann was cheating. We had no real option but to explain that we were swingers and in to hotwifing. This took a lot of conversations and tears but she eventually came to understand that nobody was doing anything wrong. She now knows everything including our weekly swinger parties, Ann's bisexuality etc. Our son is now 18 and we have told him. After a while (and with our daughters help) he now accepts our lifestyle choices. We told our kids because they asked questions that we did not want to lie about. We didn't openly tell them. Privacy between parents and kids is important (in our opinion).

Wow! It sounds like you guys have been through it all! Thank you for the step by step progress that you guys made with your children! That's really helpful. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

[snoogaloo82]

When our kids were little, we played in our bedroom with the door locked in case they got up at night, but we soon upgraded to having Grandma watch them overnight (Grandma doesn't know her daughter is a hotwife). As the kids were pre and early teens, I would take them out to see a movie or to an amusement park, bowling, or Comic Con while my wife played alone. We also did stays at hotels when they were old enough to stay home by themselves. Now, the kids are 20 and 17. They don't seem to care what we do, and we never told them anything. It's not any of their business and it doesn't concern them. I don't think they want to know, either.

Thank you so much for sharing things with us!

[ProfessorH]

Private play, not really a “secret” a child should have the burden to keep.

Better to arrange away from home care, play at home when they’re out at school, or find a neutral spot (hotel, etc) and arrange for a sitter, assuming it’s not solo play.

If she’s playing solo, she’s meeting with a friend. That’s that. Just make sure the third is trustworthy for safety, etc.

[snoogaloo82]

Private play, not really a “secret” a child should have the burden to keep.

Better to arrange away from home care, play at home when they’re out at school, or find a neutral spot (hotel, etc) and arrange for a sitter, assuming it’s not solo play.

If she’s playing solo, she’s meeting with a friend. That’s that. Just make sure the third is trustworthy for safety, etc.

Thank you for your sound advice! Definitely will be looking into doing that.

[best_friend]

i was having sex regulary with young mothers and the best part of being in this lifestyle is the fact, that the dad of the kids is knowing what is going on, supports his wife and can watch the kids while her mother is with me.

when the kids are younger, he can also bring the mother over and they don't ask why mother is leaving the car dressed up nicely.

i once even had been in the situation, that the young mother was bringing her very young child with her. the child was in the other room sleeping, while her mother played with me. the door was open, so she would have heard something. maybe not the most romatic scenario, but sometimes you have to make compromises. the mother was still breast feeding at that time and being separated from the child for too long wasn't an option.

[isinlarsa]

I agree with most of the comments that it is better to not share with your children that their mother is a hotwife. However, in our case, we had no choice but to confront the issue with our daughter when she was still a preteen.

The first night my wife was with another man in our house, she and I agreed I would take our daughter out for the evening while she entertained her young stud in our bed. That worked for a while.

Then, unfortunately, our daughter found something on our computer which clearly disclosed that her mother was being with other men. But then fortunately, our daughter went to her mother because she was confused about what it meant, especially to our marriage. At that age, a kid's primary concern is that her parents are there for her.

So with the cat out of the bag, my wife talked to our daughter, and explained that as a woman she had certain needs beyond what her husband could provide; but that Dad was okay with the situation. (There was no need to get into that it excited Dad for other men to fuck her mother.)

Of course, their conversation went on a lot longer than my quick summary above. After a while she brought me in to join the conversation. Of course, I was shocked that our daughter knew. I was able to reassure our daughter that her mother dating other men wasn't affecting our marriage, and that we would always be together as her parents.

Surprising, our daughter took it in stride. Her attitude was that was just like Mom was, and Dad was okay with it. She did remark as she grew through her teenage years, that her mother kept herself more attractive than those of her friends. When she became sexually active at 16, she felt comfortable talking to her mother about it. That was a conversation just between the girls, although my wife kept me informed.

As an adult woman, my daughter has occasionally remarked to me about her mother being a hotwife; but it nothing we would get into a discussion about.

[LawyerWouldbeCuckold]

Private play, not really a “secret” a child should have the burden to keep.

Better to arrange away from home care, play at home when they’re out at school, or find a neutral spot (hotel, etc) and arrange for a sitter, assuming it’s not solo play.

If she’s playing solo, she’s meeting with a friend. That’s that. Just make sure the third is trustworthy for safety, etc.

Exactly. There is no reason for children (regardless of their age) to know anything AT ALL about their parents' sex lives. I think that applies to "plain vanilla", all the way across the scale to hotwifing, cuckoldry...whatever.

There are some things that are simply not appropriate for children (at any age) to know. (Just IMHO).

[little sissy Benita]

When mommy later made me her little sissy (little daughter), they thought it was funny. They found it particularly funny that they were dry and that Mommy diapered me. (they like also likeed to see that my panty diaper was wet). After she made me into her little daughter, she was on the go to meet African men without me.

As mommy falled in love with Paul (daddy), we invited him and introduce him to the kids as mommys friend. But we was surprised because the kids like him from begin.

Of course, the kids notice the relationship between mommy and him - when they kissed deeply or mommy sat on his lap - or she disappeared hand in hand into the bedroom.

The best was the kids said was this: No wonder that mommy need a new husband - Benita is a diaper baby girl and a women need real man - not a little girl

[Natatude]

We have been lucky, no one knows about our LS. However I’ve had a lover now for almost 30 years and our daughter is 34. She has always known him as my best friend! She would just go stay at Grammys when him and I would go out. My whole family knows him as my best friend and has never questioned the fact if we have sex. They just know he is a single guy and we are besties.

[Cornudo1960]

our 2 girls grew up with guys coming for dinner and sometimes staying in bed with mum, the girls never questioned the situation. I sometimes worked night shifts and one of her boyfriends would come for dinner with them all, watch tv then go to bed. Sometimes there would be another guy when I got home in the morning and we would share breakfast with the girls mum and boyfriend, sometimes wearing very flimsy attire. no issues to these days and the girls are now 42 and 39.

[isinlarsa]

our 2 girls grew up with guys coming for dinner and sometimes staying in bed with mum, the girls never questioned the situation. I sometimes worked night shifts and one of her boyfriends would come for dinner with them all, watch tv then go to bed. Sometimes there would be another guy when I got home in the morning and we would share breakfast with the girls mum and boyfriend, sometimes wearing very flimsy attire. no issues to these days and the girls are now 42 and 39.

Likewise. Our daughter is 32 and has no issues that she grew up with a hotwife mother. She accidentally found out when she was about 12 or 13, and we had to confront the issue with her.

How old were your girls when their mother started getting fucked by other men?

[Cornudo1960]

She was fucking other guys when I was 17 and she was 16, the girls were born around guys coming and going so it was very natural, they always referred to her FB's as boyfriends.