What was your starting point?

[LongTermHubby]

For us, it was when our youngest child went off the college and we realized being empty nesters gave us new options.

[jrobb]

As mentioned in response to questions like this elsewhere...

How did we start? It was incredibly sexy, soooooo hottt, and suuuuuch a turn on!!! But our first time wasn't like a lot of the others. There wasn't any hinting or apprehension about what to say. It was more like lightning had struck that night...

For years I had searched for whatever it might be that my shy wife might enjoy in terms of sex. She was painfully withdrawn about such things. No talk of fantasies or other such openness. But one night, much to my surprise and joy, she was loosened up enough to reveal herself to me. From the start of that moment, to being shared, took only a couple hours for my hotwife to appear.

It was a regular week night. Me, my buddy, and my petite wife had all been in the living room listening to music and casually talking over a few beers and more in the late '80's. In the course of our conversation, he told a story about how he was involved in a threesome some years ago in college.

Later on that same evening, we went out to the hot tub. After a while, when he got out to get a drink and make a pit stop, she told me, "His story really turned me on." She was clearly loosened up, and I quickly responded with an approving "Mmmmmmmm!" In only a matter of seconds, I was slipping my hard dick into her and quickly gave her a good filling.

By the time my buddy came back to the tub, she was already filled with my cum. He had barely sat down and I lifted her bottom up to where her pussy was above water and said, "Ok, I just got done. Now it's your turn." She, somewhat shocked, asked, "Are you sure? Are you sure you want to do this?" I said, "Absolutely!".

I had her balanced in my hands, floating in the water with her pussy easily visible. Her arm around my neck, my left hand under her shoulders, my right hand under the small of her back. He got down in the water, positioned his face between her spread legs, and started to eat her as I held her in place. I cautioned him about her just being filled with my cum, but he continued to tease her clit and maybe even savor a bit of my remnant. She was cooing her pleasure when he stood up, positioned his hips between her legs, and slid into her VERY ready and willing pussy.

He didn't last long, and when he took his seat again, we all sat there, in a sort of pleasurable shock about how exciting the last couple of minutes actually were. Within 5 minutes, she said, "I want to do that again", and went over to stand next to him in the tub and asked, "How long has it been since you had a blow job?" Before he could even respond, she was already sucking on him as she leaned over, got him just a little hard, and moved her ass to press against him and reached down between her legs to stuff him into her pussy. Sadly, he couldn't muster the erection, and our evening came to a close shortly after.

And that's how it started, and why for us, it took only a couple of hours, if even that, to start our hotwife life.

JR

[Dream Weaver]

Told her before we married. Took about 3 or 4 years after marriage where she tried but got rejected. Finally happened 13 years after marriage. She shut it down shortly after.

[ktcouple]

We started after 15 years of monogamy. It was a long process with small steps, including talking about exes, fantasies, watching porn together, then she having a workplace flirt that she told me about, which eventually lead to a discussion about opening up our marriage and trying out the lifestyle together. I think it's important to have a strong foundation, good communication and go with small steps, especially if the relationship was monogamous.

[Treat yourself girl]

Started off with Amy flirting with other guys whenever we were out. Turned me on like hell, and when we got to fuck later I'd be telling her how those guys would love to be in her.

The flirting gradually increased to hands on, kissing in dark corners.

She eventually became a Hotwife in the back of my old Cadillac... Riding my buddy's cock, tits in his face, while I drove us all home.

Decided she was a keeper that night.

[Shadnaster]

For us, it started before it started if that makes sense. She used to tell me about her ex's and that turned me on. It was odd. Then ... she cheated with an ex. I was crushed but again, oddly turned on. I knew why she cheated with him. It wasn't like I caught her. She came out and told me because she felt guilty. It was only a few times and never happened again.

Fast forward to maybe a year later and a guy she knew from highschool popped up in chat. I knew him. He lived 1,000 miles away. nothing was going to happen. But then, the chats started turning sexual. She let me know right away. I read the chats and said go for it. She had never had sex chats before. This guy was really good at RP and drawing things out of her. We worked opposite schedules so, she'd be chatting during the day while I was at work and, I'd read the chats when I got home. We'd have amazing sex when she got home. Sometimes, I'd log into her account while I was at work and read the chats as they were happening. So hot.

From there, it evolved to her having sex chats with random guys. Then, video chats. That was hot. She'd be in the bedroom having video sex chats with guys while I was in another bedroom watching her screen from my PC. There was my clean cut soccer mom wife playing with her pussy and making other guys cum all over themselves. This is where we did our first "cuckoldy" thing. She'd come up with rules like "You can't fuck me until I get 3 other guys to cum". I'd be even more eager to see these guys cum. I'd be giving her tips on the side in chat "Maybe if you sit up and squat down on the dildo", "Put your pussy right up to the camera and show him how wet you are", "Take the dildo out of your pussy and suck on it"....... stuff like that.

Then she met a guy online who was a swinger. He told us all about the clubs that he and his wife went to. It sounded nice. So, we went online to meet couples. We ended up meeting a more experienced couple that was very patient with us. They were willing to take things slow which, was great. We ended up meeting other couples and getting into the swinger lifestyle but ...... there's always a but isn't there? There was a lot of drama. Tough to find a 4-way connection. Plus, I thought it was so much hotter watching my wife in action.

That's when we just started looking for single guys. Sooooo much easier.

[Lugnut]

I am curious because it seems a rock solid marriage seems to be the best starting point in this lifestyle. What do you think?

That's the number one prerequisite.

In our case, we both had long first marriages. With my first wife, sharing her didn't even enter my consciousness. Same non-issue for my future, second wife. After we were both divorced we (separately . . . hadn't met each other and didn't know each other yet) both screwed around a considerable amount. We met each other and got married about a year later at age 40, and the thought of sharing her began tickling the back of my brain before we even got married.

Fast forward about five years and I started some pillow talk that got hotter and hotter over time. I asked about her past escapades and when she was sure I really wanted to hear all about it and it turned me on she told me everything. She'd been quite a slut after her divorce and I loved hearing all her stories. Meanwhile the pillow talk kept ramping up and a couple of years later she finally, tentatively took the plunge. We tried foursome swinging first, with some good, but also some "meh" results, and pretty soon figured out that sharing her was hotter for both of us.

We've been a stag & vixen couple for almost 20 years now and we've had a lot of hot, wonderful fun. We've had a couple of long-ish term boyfriends for her whom she's fucked many times, also quite a few one-offs while traveling, some of which turned out great. The effect was always great for us, regardless how the hotwife encounter went, as we'd always fuck like bunnys for a couple of weeks after. Wouldn't trade any of it for anything.

[Very Hot Wife]

Our story bucks the trend. We totally agree with the advice regarding a couple having a strong base before delving into the swinging/hotwife lifestyle. It certainly won't fix an ailing relationship.

But our adventures began within a few days of meeting each other around 25 years ago. Becky had a string of lovers when I met her. She'd recently ended a LTR and was enjoying life.

We were in bed one night, talking about her having so many active sexual partners. It turned us both on immensely and we had wild sex during those conversations.

She saw her boyfriends as just that. She wasn't looking for a life partner, just friends with benefits. Although neither of us knew that phrase at the time.

It soon became obvious that we were turned on by her sexual excesses, she was having 4-5 guys every week in addition to me. It added a totally new dimension to our relationship. Difficult to explain but it fired us up to new heights.

We still visit clubs. She still has several FWB. We still swap with couples. Our relationship is as solid as it comes.

So our story is probably the reverse of most people. We didn't have to decide if it would be right for us.

We knew from the start.

[BrunetteLover]

20 years of excellent marriage, three children in high school, approaching college.

My wife tells me she wants to go back to being a stripper.

[bewareoflizzy]

We were married 10 years before Lizzy took the plunge. A lot of fantasizing and pillow talk preceded her bedding the younger cook she worked with but I knew she really wanted it.

To expand a bit, it was me who started having these erotic fantasies about my beautiful, vivacious wife taking a lover at about the age of 32-33. We were together almost 10 years by then (married 8 years) when these strange ideas entered my mind. Very surprising since I was quite jealous whenever I saw her flirting or being hit on by any guy. Her alluring looks and sexual aura always attracted attention and I was painfully aware of it. At parties and affairs after a few drinks, I would watch her interact with the most attractive guys there and turn on her charms, making me uncomfortable and angry. She would deny her flirtatious ways but I knew better. I caught her on the phone once talking with a guy she worked with at the time a month after we were married! She also admitted giving her boss a BJ after hours at a restaurant she worked at. He had been constantly hitting on her and made her stay late one night. He locked the doors and wanted to fuck her but she persuaded him to enjoy her oral skills. He did. These kinds of experiences kept me suspicious for years after our marriage vows. Then, quite suddenly, the fantasies started creeping into my conscious mind. I found them intoxicating and powerful. It wasn't until we moved away from family and friends that I dared broach the subject. She started working at another restaurant and after we got home from their first Christmas party we attended, I asked her about her previous lover's cocks. She was shocked and she hesitated. I assured her I would not get mad. She went on to tell me about her Iranian lover who had the biggest cock she had ever seen...or taken. He did everything to her, bringing her to orgasm after orgasm. She told him she would follow him anywhere. This excited me beyond measure and she noticed. The next week when we had our date night, Liz came out of the bathroom all dolled-up in tight lingerie, stockings, stiletto heels, hair and make-up to die for. My heart pounded as we sipped wine, smoked pot, and the conversation veered into sexual fantasies. Turned on and stoned, Liz asked if she could rub baby oil on my cock. I disrobed in a heartbeat and soon she was pouring oil all over my groin and upper legs. As her hand moved tantalizingly closer and closer to my straining cock, she brought up the conversation we had after the Christmas party.

"Did you enjoy my stories the other night?", she asked softly.

"Yes, I did, I responded as her finger traced a line along the underside of my dick.

"I'm surprised. I didn't think you liked me talking about my boyfriends".

"I've been having these strange dreams and fantasies lately about you with other men".

"Does it turn you on to think of me with another man now?".

Her hand slipped over the crown and down the shaft of my cock spreading the oil all over me. My reaction was obvious as I was hard as steel.

"I never thought I would say this, but, yes. Your story about the Iranian somehow turned me on. I can't explain it".

Our eyes locked on one another's as she stroked me sensuously.

"I think you understand that I have a very high sex drive but I love you very much".

"I know you do and I love you very much, too".

"If you think you want me to be with someone else there is a younger guy I'm attracted to at the restaurant".

I almost blew my load as her lips descended over my cock and engulfed me in her wet, warm mouth.

That's how our story started.