How to Do It?! Next Step Advice please

[StockingHubby]

My wife did the incredible 3 years ago and became a hotwife... an incredible roller coaster ride since - just one male partner and one female partner. The guy (her first other than me in more than 20 years at that point!!) is still in the picture, but flakes all the time, plays games, has horrible communication skills - ghosts her for months on end - ugh! It's endless... they have incredible chemistry, but he is super religious and feels guilty all the time.

In short, as she recently told him, "I'm too hot for this bullshit. Suck your own dick!"

At the same time, she is a NEW person - a sexual beast actually. I'm not complaining - I get nearly all the benefit of it. But she wants a new guy so badly. This first (and only) guy fell into our laps, so to speak, so we have ZERO experience knowing what to do.

So, our situation in a nutshell is, I have a hotwife, she talks about loving to suck guys' dicks all the time, WANTS to find a new guy and dump this chump... but we're at a loss.

By the way - you can look at some of the pics I've posted - but she could literally point to any guy (except for the chump, I suppose) and he's hers... help please! What's a good scenario we should look for, or create?

We don't like super loud bars where you have to shout to be heard. So, clubs might be out unless someone has good ideas around that? I've been on lifestyle sites before - in the past, she's balked at the anonymity of it, and worries about being just a number to people. I think joining the gym would be PERFECT! (she's a stay at home mom, so could go at all different times and see what works).

Thanks in advance!

[zorro]

Bars are a great place to meet alcoholics, if that is who you are looking for.

How about going together to an on-site swing party as observers? No pressure for either of you to play -- unless your wife decides she wants to.
So often, in these circumstances the wife just has to meet the right guy. The advantage of swing parties is that everyone knows what they are there for. You go, you look, and then go home to discuss it. Or if she finds someone she likes, you play.

A rule of a lifestyle party is that no one has to do anything undesired. Just say no, thank you.

[Cdncuck]

A woman who is interested in hooking up can find men anywhere. She doesn't have to be blatant about it, just be friendly. My wife has used bars and had some success. She has also met men at the gym, grocery store, dog park the library and more.

Does your wife have any hobbies or belong to any organizations where there are men and women. My wife has met guys taking the kids to soccer and hockey for example.

Then there are the online options. We have had good results from some sites and not so good from others. The key is you have to be patient and persistent. The truth is, this is an activity that attracts all kinds of people.

You rarely meet the right guy the first time out. You will always have to weed out a few flakes.

[isinlarsa]

My wife had great success on an internet dating site (I don't believe that particular one is around anymore). You could research and find one where your wife could placed an ad. It's a lot of work to sort through the flakes, but it could offer success. The fact that your wife is already a committed hotwife puts you ahead of a lot of couples just starting out. Also, check out swinging sites.

[StockingHubby]

This is great advice... I've told my wife some of these things over the years - esp. the idea about if she's looking and receptive, guys will pick up on it.

I wish there was an acceptable "out in the open" way to meet like-minded adults and kinda' date/mingle and see what happens... I guess that's what a nightclub is for. I dunno - I'm thinking this would somehow be easier if we acted like we were single, but the catch here that makes that impossible is my wife has a tagalong dude... ME!

LOL

[leggysman]

No personal experience here, but in Slate's How To Do It (what a coincidence?!) column they often recommend "munches"

These are (so they tell us) casual social get-togethers put on by local swinger/lifestyle groups. Sounds like the kind of place you could mingle with like-minded people.

[annsman]

A woman who is interested in hooking up can find men anywhere. She doesn't have to be blatant about it, just be friendly. My wife has used bars and had some success. She has also met men at the gym, grocery store, dog park the library and more.

Does your wife have any hobbies or belong to any organizations where there are men and women. My wife has met guys taking the kids to soccer and hockey for example.

We totally agree with this. My wife wants to meet men naturally, not contrived on line or pick up places.

She has a lovely welcoming smile that attracts men she finds attractive, so has no trouble meeting men.

[SammySigns]

Men who want their dicks sucked are generally out there. A nice brewpub or tavern would be good - just have something good to eat and strike up conversations. Get to know a few people. Drop her off while you are running errands. Other places are good but harder to strike up conversations.