How many wives brought up the fantasy first?

[Gardener]

From what I have read and heard the husband is usually the one who introduces the idea of hotwifing/cuckolding. But I would really like to hear from couples where the wife has introduced the idea. This interests me because a few years ago my wife confided in me that she fantasized about me watching her with another man. I have always been into femdom (we have been spicing things up with pegging and cross dressing since we met), so I was familiar with cuckolding. But I was not prepared for how much this would excite me. I had seen cuckold porn, but I could not admit how much it turned me on when I came across it in femdom porn. After she told me about this fantasy I became very into the idea. I have shared my fantasies with her, but her opening up and showing me this side of her really turned me on.

I have no idea if we would pursue this beyond fantasy, but I'm interested to hear other people's experiences. There is a catch 22 that will likely keep us from making this fantasy a reality. If she told me she wanted to do it I would be on board and would love to make this fantasy come true for her. But I want it to come from her, that's part of the appeal for me. I feel like looks a lot of women are coaxed into this. Many seem to enjoy it once they try, but I don't want it badly enough to push her to do anything she doesn't want to do. Anyway, looking forward to see what people have to share on this one.

[Allinfun]

I wonder how often the wife bringing it up results from her interest in someone in particular (or her having already acted on it in some way).

[DavaoMike]

As I described in my initial post years ago, I met my now Filipina wife, Maricel, in Davao, Philippines while I was temporarily living there. She was my live-in girlfriend. One day, I came home early and caught her in bed with who I later learned was her first boyfriend, Arsenio, the one who had taken her virginity. At the time, she was very apologetic and crying. Arsenio seemed fearing for his life and hurriedly left. I then told Maricel that it was okay with me if she had a boyfriend as long as we never had any secrets between us and I was always number one. The rest is history. I brought Maricel to the U.S. on a fiancée visa and married her.

So, in a sense, our cuckolding relationship was her idea by her actions, but it was me who told her that it’s okay with me if she’s fucking another guy.

DM

[tosaintsfan]

Not sure she brought it up first, but the first time I became aware of the fact she may have been interested in some non-conventional arrangement happened in a sex shop.

WE were browsing in a sex shop, when a clerk asked Marla if she could be of help. Marla asked to see cock cages. Although I was aware of such devices, I never had seen one never mind contemplating wearing one. I was shocked and embarrassed at the same time. About a week later, I was wearing one. I know this is not the cuckold forum, that is how we got started in hotwifing/cuckolding.

TO

[Tank Turner]

I could never hope to remember that. We were thinking if for a long time before we talked about it. I'd go with us bring it up at the same time.

[Freemans892]

From Reddit forums, the pattern indicates that the wife will likely suggest an “open marriage”, ENM or swinging model, when moving away from their existing monogamous model.

Another scenario is where, at the start of a relationship, the girlfriend already has an FWB/FB or multiple FWBs/FBs and wants to retain them.

[IndyGreg]

My hot wife Becky brought it up many years ago. We have had a lot of fun ever since, especailly her.

[isinlarsa]

I must be drawn to such women, because its happened to me three times. I doubt I would have ever had a hotwife if she hadn't proposed it first.

My first wife and I started by swapping with a couple we were friends with from church. (That's another story.) Then she decided on her own to start an affair with a co-worker when they were alone together in the office in the afternoons. She couldn't keep a secret, and told me; but only after she had made me go down on her cum-filled pussy. We both found so hot that we decided she would continue. That marriage ended but not because of sex. We kept fucking for a while after we were divorced.

The second was my long-term girlfriend who met a man when she was taking dancing lessons. She said he was hitting on her and she was interested. We agreed it would be hot for her to take a lover, so she started dating him. He introduced her into swinging, but that's another story. Ironically, we stayed together until she decided she wanted to stop the open relationship, and find a man she could have children with.

The third was my second wife. We had been exclusive for 18 years (married 16), although there was a short period when we started dating where she also was having sex with other men. However, after 16 years of marriage when she was 44, she came to me and said she wanted to date again. She knew of my previous background, so she was pretty sure I would be on board -- which I was. That hotwife period lasted about two years.

[wordlover2000]

With us, my wife did it first...with a qualified "sort of." Out of the clear blue one day, she started fantasizing out loud for both of us during sex. This went on for quite a while and were elaborate and detailed fantasies, full of really nasty talk from her. They were always about another person joining us in bed...I'd say 75% of them were about another man joining us, and 25% about another woman. One day I told her I wanted to experience it for real. I could tell from her reaction that she was genuinely surprised, and had undoubtedly thought these were all just fantasies. She gave me a "let me think about it," but was on board something like 48 hours later. So I still give HER all the credit for breaking the ice between us on the topic (leading to all the wonderful experiences).

[rogerg]

My wife was the first to bring up the fantasy. She was also the first to suggest that we should turn the fantasy into a reality and was the one who set up our first encounter. Even now she is the one that tends to suggest new things for us to explore.