Cheated on before beginning this?

For cuckoldresses and the men who serve them.

Were you cheated on in a serious relationship before you thought about this lifestyle choice?

Yes, I was cheated on in a previous or current relationship before beginning this lifestyle.
306
71%
No, my partners have always been faithful.
61
14%
I don't know if I was cheated on for certain, but I got turned on by the idea it could happen.
65
15%
 
Total votes: 432

cat31
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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by cat31 » Tue Jun 21, 2011 2:41 am

Here is a post I made from last year that might give you a better idea of how this started:

"We have been married 28 years. My first time I ever felt these emotions were when we were dating and broke up for about six months. The first night she moved into her new apartment I stopped by to try to work things out with her. She had a first floor unit that had the bathroom window high on the wall so nobody could see in. She had left it open and I could hear her having sex. I can't describe the rush I felt. Every emotion from jealousy to incredible arousal. I then went around front and she had left the shade in her bedroom open about an inch and I could only see her feet and lower legs spread wide in the air as she was screaming louder than I had ever heard her with me."

One thing I did not mention in that post was the next morning I drove by and saw his car still outside. The sight of it and knowing he was sleeping with the women I had just been living with for over a year killed me but I had the biggest hard-on I had ever felt. Talk about confused!

I think after that night I was hooked.

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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by geoffrya » Tue Jun 21, 2011 9:48 am

LJ6200 wrote:Hi. I'm just wondering how many of us were cheated on involuntarily in a serious relationship before we ever thought about this cuckold lifestyle -- we expected wives or girlfriends to be faithful, and then one day find out they had been with another man. I'd also like to hear anyone who wants to share what happened, how you felt at the time, and how you feel about it now.
Yes it started with her cheatingn that was until I caught her.
In the beginning my mind was in turmoil between wanting see her all fucked and messy, and jealousy.
In the end It was me persuading her go out and meet these guys again to experience the sloppysecond senstation again and again

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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by will7268 » Tue Jun 21, 2011 10:45 am

As far as I know, I haven't been cheated on in real life, but it was the idea of being cheated on that has always driven my cuckold fantasizing. I can remember when I hit puberty and realized I was going to be smaller than average, I developed a deep fear that all my girlfriends could be taken from me (at least for the night) by much bigger guys. That fear led to intense fantasies about what they were doing behind my back, and is really still at the core of the fantasy for me.

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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by Latido » Tue Jun 21, 2011 11:22 am

Yes, I was cheated on in my very first relationship, long before beginning this lifestyle. With hind sight, I think she was and is a natural cuckoldress. She tries to stick to monogamy, but the boredom kills all her relationships. She just isn't into routine sex. She starts to feels sad, doesn't want to cheat and lie and sooner or later she ends the relationship. I am sorry we have not discussed her true feelings at the time.

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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by Eccentric Cuck » Tue Jun 21, 2011 12:30 pm

Yes I was cheated on the first time I had these emotions. Keep in mind I too was a serial cheater throughout my teens. I never believed in monogamy as a sign of love.

I was 22 years old. In deep love with the women I thought I would marry to the point of starting to save for the ring.

We had been living together for maybe 3 months. And per our Sunday routine I lay my lazy butt on the couch watching football and she went to her moms to do laundry and visit. This night it was passed 11pm when she got home. She said we had to talk. She saw an ex at the grocery store and wanted to be with him. Just like that it was over. The next thing I knew I was constanly jerking off thinking about them.

I never even heard the word cuckold until 10 years later.
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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by ncsub » Tue Jun 21, 2011 11:03 pm

Hi, normally I'm a lurker here but this is first post because I thought it'd be a great post to respond to. To answer your question, yes I was cheated on when I was vaguely aware of the lifestyle, but as my awareness grew I realized a cuckold was exactly what I was. I was already aware I was bi and into femdom and saw some porn I had saved of huge black guys doing little white girls so that kind of helped and she knew I was bi. She posted pictures of herself making out with a guy on myspace. I asked her about it and she kind of just brushed it off and said she was drunk and that was the first time she had been with a black guy and she'd remove the photos. I let it go finding it strangely hot. Well she kept them there and about a week later I saw her at some festival we planned on meeting at and I found her and that same guy were together. They kissed and the guy asked if I had been sucking dick lately and they laughed. Apparently she told him I'm bi. He left and she said something along the lines of "I know you enjoy the abuse" and I just shrugged it off. She doesn't know how right she was, I put on a pair of her panties and pictured myself sucking that guy's dick with her help later that night. I ate her all out a lot and even though she told me she was on the pill we'd never have sex. Then one time came along and I was at her house waiting for her to come home. She was dressed all slutty and I asked to eat her all out but she refused, but I persisted until she let me and realized she didn't want me to cause she had cum in her, but to me it was hot as hell doing that for the first time. The 2nd time this happened she said "you want to taste that black cock don't you?".

Half way in there I realized I was a cuckold.

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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by Mike W » Thu Jun 23, 2011 7:56 am

70% is more than strong, its almost overwhelming. I guess we should be blaming out cheating slut wives or us becoming cuckolds. :lol:

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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by bubbajack » Thu Jun 23, 2011 9:01 am

I think there may be a margin of over-representation of wives who have cheated in our population as compared with the married women population as a whole - but I don't think it's anything like a "defining characteristic" of hotwife marriages.

It is my recollection that studies have been done which yield some pretty arresting numbers of around 35% for all married women having at least one other sex partner during marriage. (no citation - just my memory (like wikipedia :lol: )).

I don't know if that figure accounts for the characteristic underreporting by women of their extramarital sex experiences (see "Wittol's Law" which he advanced a few days ago to the effect that women never over-report the amount or variety of sex they have had, and the corollary that they always under-report :roll: ).

Still, I would say that wives reaching beyond the bonds of matrimony for "a bit of the other" as the English say, is pretty much a garden-variety phenomenon, limited more by lack of opportunity than by any sort of feminine commitment to inviolability of the married pussy.

MY conclusion (ahem!): it happens a lot and we who settle upon hotwifing (or cuckoldry, if you insist) in response to it are making something beautiful, important and civilized out of it instead of leaving it as due to regrettable "mistakes" (or whatever) the consequences of which just have to be endured by the married couple without being dealt with in any mutual way.

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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by Sinach » Thu Jun 23, 2011 9:51 am

I think everyone needs to look at the way the poll is made. It is a bit skewed towards a large cheating population as it gives basically 3 options in option 1. Lets not read too much into it. I voted for no 1 but my current partner never stepped out on me until we discussed things and agreed to do it.

When my previous experience with a cheater happened I was mad as hell. I swore I would never be in that position again and did some stupid things like cheating myself to make sure I always had the "upper hand." I have since matured and when I spoke to my wife about her being with another guy she though it was just to make up for past indiscretions or to allow me to be free to play since she was which she now understands it is not and never had anything to do with it.

This lifestyle is just something we decided to do and it turns us both on. Why be locked into the "norm" of husband/wife sex when in reality sex is just an act committed for pleasure and love is something so much better and more meaningful.

bubbajack

Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by bubbajack » Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:11 am

Yes, Sinach - you are right: the results of this poll will not be of much interest to the National Opinion Research Council, not that it was intended as anything of the kind!! :lol:

But for me it did yield some interesting moments and memories of some very interesting moments. :roll:

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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by wifedateshubwaits » Fri Jun 24, 2011 5:24 am

My wife cheated pretty much from the first day we met. While she and I were dating she continued to see her former boyfriend and as I later learned, their sex life improved when their sole reason for getting together was for sex.

My wife convinced herself that she would be faithful once we were married, but it wasn't long before she was involved in an affair with a co-worker. That led to a succession of short-term affairs with men she met on her frequent business trips. Eventually she slipped up and I discovered her infidelity. There were angry words and some tears, but I eventually forgave her and she promised to be faithful. By this time, however, I was intrigued by what drove her to cheat on me and to my wife's credit she told me everything. The more I learned, the more I understood that she didn't really have feelings for these guys other than friendship. Hearing about my wife's affairs soon became a standard prelude to our own lovemaking and I think we both knew where this was leading. I eventually worked up the courage to tell my wife that I was okay with her taking lovers and the rest, as they say, is history.

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Horny Devil
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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by Horny Devil » Fri Jun 24, 2011 5:36 am

No, my partners have always been faithful.
I don't get it. How can anyone definitively know this? It's unknowable!
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cum4me2
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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by cum4me2 » Fri Jun 24, 2011 5:56 am

For some reason this thread just makes me sad... :( It's pretty remarkable to stats on this even in this small group considering how often we hear how hard the hubby has to work to convince the wife to sleep with other men. Then again this is a poll on the cuckold side of the board so maybe that's a reason why the numbers seem so inflated. I would wonder if the cheating was based on a need for more or better sexual fulfilment or for something else lacking in the marriage. Being men and thinking like men we assume it's for sex. But unlike most affairs with men where the primary need is usually driven by the physical need for sex, more sex or sex with someone else. Women generally cheat for reasons other than sex like for emotional connection that they feel is lacking with their spouse.

This poll also only takes into account the cases where the infidelity was physical or where the dirty deed was actually done. Most people both men and women cheat in their mind long before they do for real and that can be just as damaging if not checked. I also see it as having less to do with a wife becoming a "hotwife" or a husband willingly becoming a "cuckold" as it does with other problems and deeper issues within the relationship. That would just be; in my opinion a momentary stop over on the road to divorce. This is for most people here a sexual game we play for mutual enjoyment. The desire or willingness to cheat is usually about one persons unhappiness or discontent in the marriage be it sexual or emotional. For some reason they do not feel that their needs are being meet and that is extremely dangerous and this lifestyle really isn't the answer. All your doing is placing a band-aid on a bullet wound or worse yet providing ammunition for the divorce laywers down the line.
As her interest in a new guy rises so do I begin to rise...

In case anyone is wondering my new avatar is the Chinese symbol for desire, longing and craving.
I thought it appropriate given the subject in hand...

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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by SeaGirtCuck » Fri Jun 24, 2011 6:28 am

Monolithic wrote:
No, my partners have always been faithful.
I don't get it. How can anyone definitively know this? It's unknowable!
You are right there is no way anyone could, "definitively know this."
All it could ever be is the person's impression and nothing more.

I also choose, my partners, "have always been faithful", as my answer because as far as I know that is the truth.
Could I be wrong?
Of course I could be.
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Horny Devil
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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by Horny Devil » Fri Jun 24, 2011 6:42 am

SeaGirtCuck wrote: I also choose, my partners, "have always been faithful", as my answer because as far as I know that is the truth.
Could I be wrong?
Of course I could be.
Yeah, I think "Not to my knowledge" would be a better way of stating it.
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The atoms roar and strange love sings.

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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by SeaGirtCuck » Fri Jun 24, 2011 7:50 am

Monolithic wrote:
SeaGirtCuck wrote:
I also choose, my partners, "have always been faithful", as my answer because as far as I know that is the truth.
Could I be wrong?
Of course I could be.
Yeah, I think "Not to my knowledge" would be a better way of stating it.
I agree, you are right.
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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by BadboyOwner » Fri Jun 24, 2011 8:11 am

I have been cheated on in I think every relationship I was ever in. I have not every cheated on anyone. I haven't even thought of being with others when with someone in a committed relationship. I also don't think that this lifestyle is now a band-aid for deeper issues or ammunition for divorce later. It was hard getting to this place but it simply was as Sinach stated, I thought he was looking for a way to run around by telling me to. I know now it is not that and things couldn't be more fun, exciting and so naughty.

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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by Horny Devil » Fri Jun 24, 2011 10:01 am

BadboyOwner wrote:I thought he was looking for a way to run around by telling me to. I know now it is not that and things couldn't be more fun, exciting and so naughty.
I really feel this kink is much more of a guy thing to be honest - so it's kind of understandable that many women may initially be very leery (and not quite "get it").

The turn-on can easily be way more powerful than the fantasy of being with another female, from a guy's POV.

In general terms, it is very hot when a woman is being a sex tease to her S/O. There's many manifestations it can take, hotwifing is merely one of them.
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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by hotwifeluvr » Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:43 am

I never thought I'd want to be cheated on, but after years of me expressing my desire for her to be with another guy, and seeing how much it turned me on when she told me about past lovers, my wife finally confessed to me that while we were dating, during a time when we were separated for several months, she had been seeing her old lover on a fairly regular basis. That's when I discovered how exciting the idea of being cheated could be.

Since then, she has taken a few lovers, but always with my full knowledge and encouragement. But I've told her that it would excite me if she had a secret affair and hid it from me, and "confessed" it after the fact.

I think part of the excitement of this is the fact that in such a scenario, it would mean that I would never know when my wife might be with someone else. After that happened, any time my wife was out or "visiting a friend", I could imagine that it was possible that she might actually be getting with a lover somewhere. But it's not just that. There is something intrinsically arousing about the idea of her being willing and able to cheat on me, that she cannot be controlled. She is just too naughty! It's such a contrast with who she is most of the time!

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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by cum4me2 » Fri Jun 24, 2011 12:03 pm

BadboyOwner wrote:I have been cheated on in I think every relationship I was ever in. I have not every cheated on anyone. I haven't even thought of being with others when with someone in a committed relationship.
BBO this is not meant as a slight to you, please don't take it as such. Have you ever wondered...since you said in every, that perhaps I may be putting out some type of vibe that maybe you want them to step out on you? From what you said your quite loyal to whomever your in a committed relationship with, so why does each woman end up cheating on you? Did it ruin the relationship and if so did you dump her or did she end up leaving you for the person she cheated on you with? Were the affairs back than arousing to you and did you express this the her, if so what was their reaction to how it made you feel? Honestly I am just curious and not meaning to undermine what I am sure was a difficult situation at the time, simply trying to understand because I find that both interesting and somewhat amazing.

I also don't think that this lifestyle is now a band-aid for deeper issues or ammunition for divorce later. It was hard getting to this place but it simply was as Sinach stated, I thought he was looking for a way to run around by telling me to. I know now it is not that and things couldn't be more fun, exciting and so naughty.
Maybe I should have been more clear, with my situation with my current and only wife, it came damn close...to her having an affair. I stumbled upon it and happened to interject myself into the situation. It has pretty and almost caused us to split at least in that moment I thought it would. I still remember how deeply hurt I was when I found and read the emails between them. There was shocked disbelief and anger over what I felt as betrayal in her deception over their friendship. This mainly because we had always been open sexually, infact prior to hotwifing we used to swing. So sex outside the marriage wasn't exactly taboo with us. But still if I am being honest along with the rage I also felt equal parts arousal and that very much confused me.

So what I meant is that when cheating happens with either spouse and the underlying reason for it isn't examined and dealt with is a mistake. Than to move into a activity such as extra-marital sex without first understanding the reason for the infidelity is very dangerous...IMHO. The root cause of a problem, especially cheating has to be addressed before a couple should consider this lifestyle. It's hard enough on a healthy marraige but for an unhealthy one it could be self destructive. Marital infidelity is nothing more than betrayal to the marriage vows and deciet to one's spouse and family. Personally no matter how much it turned me on that she was thinking of or actually wanted to fuck another guy, I would have never even entertained the idea of allowing her to had we not gotten to the bottom of why she felt the need or desire to cheat on me. I would have first ended our marriage of fifteen years.
As her interest in a new guy rises so do I begin to rise...

In case anyone is wondering my new avatar is the Chinese symbol for desire, longing and craving.
I thought it appropriate given the subject in hand...

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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by allengt » Fri Jun 24, 2011 12:09 pm

cum4me2 wrote:
BadboyOwner wrote:I have been cheated on in I think every relationship I was ever in. I have not every cheated on anyone. I haven't even thought of being with others when with someone in a committed relationship.
BBO this is not meant as a slight to you, please don't take it as such. Have you ever wondered...since you said in every, that perhaps I may be putting out some type of vibe that maybe you want them to step out on you? From what you said your quite loyal to whomever your in a committed relationship with, so why does each woman end up cheating on you? Did it ruin the relationship and if so did you dump her or did she end up leaving you for the person she cheated on you with? Were the affairs back than arousing to you and did you express this the her, if so what was their reaction to how it made you feel? Honestly I am just curious and not meaning to undermine what I am sure was a difficult situation at the time, simply trying to understand because I find that both interesting and somewhat amazing.
CFM2, badboyowner is a woman. Her hubby is Sinach so she never dumped a woman or had one leave her.
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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by BadboyOwner » Fri Jun 24, 2011 12:15 pm

First I should clear something up I am the woman and no I did not put out some vibe to please cheat on me. It ended all relationships except the last one. The last one I was willing to stay and try to work through the issues or I guess what he thought was the issue.
It was a long time after the cheating and work to fix things that this lifestyle was brought up.
I was in NO way turned on, aroused or even remotely interested in a cheating partner until the last time but him I loved dearly and felt we had a chance to work it out. Still NOT aroused or interested in a third being in our relationship.

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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by hornedhubby » Fri Jun 24, 2011 12:29 pm

In response to cum4me2's interesting post about the poll indicating a high percentage of cheating wives, the first poll choice is written in a way that skews the number upward by including "in a previous or current relationship...."

I interpreted it to mean any previous girlfriend - HS, college, short-term stuff. If anything, more GF/BF relationships end because of cheating than marriages, and almost everyone has more GF/BF's in their past than marriages. So the high percentage made sense to me.

I also believe that some of us, including me, here on the cuck side of the forum probably enjoy imagining that their wife cheated at some time in the past. Part of the fantasy is imagining your wife being hot, spicy and assertive about her desires and pleasure.

I agree with cum4me's vision of the ideal HW-Hubby or Cuckoldress/Cuck relationship where all is in the open and fully shared between partners. Ideally, this style of play would carry no cheating baggage before beginning, and I'm pretty sure some of the couples on OHW are among the fortunate few in that category.
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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by cum4me2 » Fri Jun 24, 2011 3:16 pm

allengt wrote:
cum4me2 wrote:
BadboyOwner wrote:I have been cheated on in I think every relationship I was ever in. I have not every cheated on anyone. I haven't even thought of being with others when with someone in a committed relationship.
BBO this is not meant as a slight to you, please don't take it as such. Have you ever wondered...since you said in every, that perhaps I may be putting out some type of vibe that maybe you want them to step out on you? From what you said your quite loyal to whomever your in a committed relationship with, so why does each woman end up cheating on you? Did it ruin the relationship and if so did you dump her or did she end up leaving you for the person she cheated on you with? Were the affairs back than arousing to you and did you express this the her, if so what was their reaction to how it made you feel? Honestly I am just curious and not meaning to undermine what I am sure was a difficult situation at the time, simply trying to understand because I find that both interesting and somewhat amazing.
CFM2, badboyowner is a woman. Her hubby is Sinach so she never dumped a woman or had one leave her.
Opps...must've missed that somewhere... :oops: My humble apologize to all concerned. :)
But can you be sure Allen that she never dumped a woman or had one leave her, those college days were pretty crazy... ;)
As her interest in a new guy rises so do I begin to rise...

In case anyone is wondering my new avatar is the Chinese symbol for desire, longing and craving.
I thought it appropriate given the subject in hand...

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allengt
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Re: Cheated on before beginning this?

Unread post by allengt » Fri Jun 24, 2011 4:17 pm

cum4me2 wrote:
allengt wrote:
cum4me2 wrote:
BadboyOwner wrote:I have been cheated on in I think every relationship I was ever in. I have not every cheated on anyone. I haven't even thought of being with others when with someone in a committed relationship.
BBO this is not meant as a slight to you, please don't take it as such. Have you ever wondered...since you said in every, that perhaps I may be putting out some type of vibe that maybe you want them to step out on you? From what you said your quite loyal to whomever your in a committed relationship with, so why does each woman end up cheating on you? Did it ruin the relationship and if so did you dump her or did she end up leaving you for the person she cheated on you with? Were the affairs back than arousing to you and did you express this the her, if so what was their reaction to how it made you feel? Honestly I am just curious and not meaning to undermine what I am sure was a difficult situation at the time, simply trying to understand because I find that both interesting and somewhat amazing.
CFM2, badboyowner is a woman. Her hubby is Sinach so she never dumped a woman or had one leave her.
Opps...must've missed that somewhere... :oops: My humble apologize to all concerned. :)
But can you be sure Allen that she never dumped a woman or had one leave her, those college days were pretty crazy... ;)
Well I could not say but you could ask her. lol
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