Found myself here ...
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Found myself here ...
When i first started dating my wife i found out she was two timing me. I confronted her and she finished with him, and a couple of years later we married and have been happily together now for 11 years. We have two kids, got great careers and are still very much in love. We've not spoken since about the time she cheated, but I've never been able to get it out of my mind, and over the years I've turned it into a cuckolding fantasy that i fantasise about a lot (and I've lurked here a lot). I've now convinced myself i want her to play away, but i know it's just a fantasy i get off on.
Recently, after a heavy drinking party with some mates, i blurted my fantasy out to her in bed during foreplay because i just couldn't hold it all in my head any longer. I was expecting nuclear fallout for bringing up the past, but instead i got 'sounds some fun'. I was too bladdered at the time to follow on, but the next morning i could tell she was thinking something, kinda all quiet.
That was a few days ago, and since then our sex has been amazing and every night, she's on fire. I told her how fantastic in bed she was, but it was clear she wasn't going there with the conversation (getting ready for work), just said 'thank you'. That evening i told her she was behaving all quiet, not the usual, she replied 'talk later in bed'.
We didn't talk, but she did fuck my brains out. I'm wondering if I've opened a can of worms, or rekindled something in her from the past she wants back again.
Would other contributors just enjoy the great sex, or would you push for answers and risk damaging a good relationship? I'm 37, she's 34.
Recently, after a heavy drinking party with some mates, i blurted my fantasy out to her in bed during foreplay because i just couldn't hold it all in my head any longer. I was expecting nuclear fallout for bringing up the past, but instead i got 'sounds some fun'. I was too bladdered at the time to follow on, but the next morning i could tell she was thinking something, kinda all quiet.
That was a few days ago, and since then our sex has been amazing and every night, she's on fire. I told her how fantastic in bed she was, but it was clear she wasn't going there with the conversation (getting ready for work), just said 'thank you'. That evening i told her she was behaving all quiet, not the usual, she replied 'talk later in bed'.
We didn't talk, but she did fuck my brains out. I'm wondering if I've opened a can of worms, or rekindled something in her from the past she wants back again.
Would other contributors just enjoy the great sex, or would you push for answers and risk damaging a good relationship? I'm 37, she's 34.
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Re: Found myself here ...
Welcome to OHW PlumberRob
If it has only been a few days she is probably thinking about what you said and trying to make sense of it and decide what she wants to say.
Pushing for answers is not a good idea. However it would be a good idea to tell her something along the lines of "whenever you want to talk about what I told you the other night I am ready to listen and will try my best to answer any questions you have". That lets her know it is up to her to bring up the subject when she is ready to discuss it.
In the meantime of course enjoy the great sex!!
If it has only been a few days she is probably thinking about what you said and trying to make sense of it and decide what she wants to say.
Pushing for answers is not a good idea. However it would be a good idea to tell her something along the lines of "whenever you want to talk about what I told you the other night I am ready to listen and will try my best to answer any questions you have". That lets her know it is up to her to bring up the subject when she is ready to discuss it.
In the meantime of course enjoy the great sex!!
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Re: Found myself here ...
Sounds like you could be at the beginning of a great adventure.
I imagine that you are both past just letting this lie. The can of worms has been opened and even if they don’t wriggle out immediately they know how to get out and won’t stop thinking about it.
Maybe have another night with a few drinks and bring it up again - see if she wants to discuss it, or whether she just seems to enjoy the fantasy to get her off.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
I imagine that you are both past just letting this lie. The can of worms has been opened and even if they don’t wriggle out immediately they know how to get out and won’t stop thinking about it.
Maybe have another night with a few drinks and bring it up again - see if she wants to discuss it, or whether she just seems to enjoy the fantasy to get her off.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
Re: Found myself here ...
Enjoy the sex while seeing if she's interested. Let her decide.
Re: Found myself here ...
Pop in a few MFM videos. She how she takes to them. Say you like seeing this and would not mind trying it in the future if she wanted to. Take it slow. If she wants to bring up limits or things you might not like (at first). It’s up to both. If she wants to set up a hotel and bar in the lobby or close by. Or really anything you two want and feel comfortable with. Take it slow
Re: Found myself here ...
If I were you I'd just let your comment simmer within her for at least a week. She's obviously got a lot on her mind. Let her bring it back up. If she doesn't bring it up on her own you can ask her what she wanted to talk about at bed time the other night. But you know her best and it is up to you how to follow up on this. BUT FIRST, you really need to be sure this is what YOU want her to do!!! I wouldn't mention it until you know your answer to that question, because she will most definitely be asking you if you really want her to do it!!!! Good luck!
Rascal
Rascal
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Re: Found myself here ...
If you decide you want her to fool around with another guy, I don't see any problem proceeding in a gentle manner. Just make an offhand comment about flirting with other guys, maybe someone she met, and with a subtle hint about how you wouldn't mind if she flirted with another guy.
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Re: Found myself here ...
The first thing you need to do is to decide if this is just a fantasy that you need to put away or something you could see you both enjoying. It sounds to me like she might be conditioned well for this. She's probably not getting off on any other guy in particular but just the thought of doing it with someone and it turning you on.
Re: Found myself here ...
Any news on your comments above, Rob??? It's been 5 days, just wondering if she has said anything or if you and she have had "the talk".
Rascal
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Re: Found myself here ...
Thanks for the advice. I didn't push her, the quiet continued for a few more days, and the great sex too. I weirdly got annoyed with her, like she was using me, in the end she broke the ice. We had a long talk about our feelings. She made it clear she was pissed at me for coming home drunk and expecting sex, and was surprised at my outburst and worried that i didn't want her or something was bust in our marriage. I was as honest as i could be, told her it was a fantasy I've had for years - i can't really blank it.
There was a long silence from her, and some hurtful words too. She's only had two other sexual partners other than me, and she cheated because her friend told her to have some fun before she got stuck in a marriage. We talked a lot more, to surmise she feels cheated out of life's experiences getting hitched so young which is upsetting to hear, but she admitted she found the cheating a big turn on even though they never actually had sex.
That was yesterday, there's been nothing more said yet, but i know she's turning things over in her mind. She wants to talk more, so do i, but where this is going i really don't know. She confides in a female co-worker friend, so i know she's talking, i guess i'll just have to wait until she's ready to tell me.
There was a long silence from her, and some hurtful words too. She's only had two other sexual partners other than me, and she cheated because her friend told her to have some fun before she got stuck in a marriage. We talked a lot more, to surmise she feels cheated out of life's experiences getting hitched so young which is upsetting to hear, but she admitted she found the cheating a big turn on even though they never actually had sex.
That was yesterday, there's been nothing more said yet, but i know she's turning things over in her mind. She wants to talk more, so do i, but where this is going i really don't know. She confides in a female co-worker friend, so i know she's talking, i guess i'll just have to wait until she's ready to tell me.
Re: Found myself here ...
Yes, definitely let her think it over and she will talk with you when she is ready!!! I think, from what you have mentioned above, she will be willing to go along with your fantasy in some manner or form. That is something you two will need to talk about and decide!! Where is it going??? I think she will become your HOTWIFE in a few months or even maybe a few weeks, depending how open she is willing to let you know here desires. Right now I believe she is rolling all the scenarios of being with other men through her mind and developing her own fantasies. Be patient and be totally honest with her how you feel and want and listen to her feelings and desires as well. Encourage her to be as open with her desires and feelings as you are with her. If you can do that with her, you both will have a wonderful sexual addition to your marriage!!!! Good luck!!!
Rascal
Rascal
Re: Found myself here ...
Hope you two can sort something out.
Keep up the communication, and just try to explain to her your feelings, thoughts and fantasies.
There is a lot of fun and excitement to be had, for both of you.
But you just need to tread carefully. Take your time, and see where it leads.
Oh, and keep us informed too, if poss.
Keep up the communication, and just try to explain to her your feelings, thoughts and fantasies.
There is a lot of fun and excitement to be had, for both of you.
But you just need to tread carefully. Take your time, and see where it leads.
Oh, and keep us informed too, if poss.
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Re: Found myself here ...
I've read the replies Rob and I'm on exactly the same page as Rascal here, so won't just repeat what's already been posted.
When we got married my wife Cath was only 19 and I not too much older, too young really, and not too long afterwards she was a mother of two twin boys and only in her very early twenties. It always nagged at me that being married so young had denied her a chance to have a much wider experience of others, and probably was the maggot from which my fantasy developed properly. No need to rush things though, let her decide the pace of any progress or not.
Chris
When we got married my wife Cath was only 19 and I not too much older, too young really, and not too long afterwards she was a mother of two twin boys and only in her very early twenties. It always nagged at me that being married so young had denied her a chance to have a much wider experience of others, and probably was the maggot from which my fantasy developed properly. No need to rush things though, let her decide the pace of any progress or not.
Chris
**********************
My account of our first time, what happened afterwards and when my marriage was in trouble - link below.
Thank you for any who comment
viewtopic.php?t=65641
My account of our first time, what happened afterwards and when my marriage was in trouble - link below.
Thank you for any who comment
viewtopic.php?t=65641
Re: Found myself here ...
Yes, we have been in the same situation, I was 35 she was 20. After ten years I asked her, in the ten years since we have been married have you meet someone who you would let get in your panties? She said yes, but I would laugh when she told me who. I said, no I won’t. When she told me who, I told her to go for it as that guy would fuck you given half a chance.
It only took her three months before he got her panties off and fucked her for two years every time he got the chance.
It turned into a hot time for the three of us.
Pauline
It only took her three months before he got her panties off and fucked her for two years every time he got the chance.
It turned into a hot time for the three of us.
Pauline
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Re: Found myself here ...
I dropped the subject until she wanted to talk. Finding the time is difficult with two kids and full time jobs, we're both usually knackered by bedtime & deep convo's aren't always on the agenda, but we did talk after a couple of weeks of awkwardness.
She (Mary) told me she feels guilty and dirty she cheated, but also admitted she has fantasised about having illicit sex and even Googled it, but made it clear it's not going to happen. I assumed that was the end of the subject, a no go, but when we fucked a couple of days ago she told me she thought about someone else. I asked who, all she'd say is 'some bloke'. That really turned me on, i think she liked my reaction.
Then last night in bed she raised the subject again, a teasing sort of pillow talk asking me what turns me on with this. I told her i love the idea of her screwing another bloke, don't know why, but i do. Whilst telling her this she was slowly wanking me under the covers, asking me questions about what i imagine her doing and how far i imagine her going. She teased my dick, and the fuck that followed was amazing. After, she joked about having fantasy talks more often.
This morning we had a quick chat, and again she told me the fantasy is nice if i enjoy it, but it's not going to happen - she wouldn't know how to play for another man, and if she did he'd be either disappointed with her body or her performance, and then she'd worry i wouldn't want her anymore or the kids would find out. I told her she couldn't be more wrong about her body, but i know she doesn't believe in herself enough.
Mary is 34, 5 foot eight, of slim build and has gorgeous big brown eyes. She has shoulder length brown hair, 34" bust, and a cute ass that looks amazing in jeans. She wears a stripe, and has a honeybee tattoo on her inside thigh a couple of inches below her pussy. She's a social person who likes to have friends, but can be shy of new people.
I'm hoping she'll overcome her self doubt, just needs time.
She (Mary) told me she feels guilty and dirty she cheated, but also admitted she has fantasised about having illicit sex and even Googled it, but made it clear it's not going to happen. I assumed that was the end of the subject, a no go, but when we fucked a couple of days ago she told me she thought about someone else. I asked who, all she'd say is 'some bloke'. That really turned me on, i think she liked my reaction.
Then last night in bed she raised the subject again, a teasing sort of pillow talk asking me what turns me on with this. I told her i love the idea of her screwing another bloke, don't know why, but i do. Whilst telling her this she was slowly wanking me under the covers, asking me questions about what i imagine her doing and how far i imagine her going. She teased my dick, and the fuck that followed was amazing. After, she joked about having fantasy talks more often.
This morning we had a quick chat, and again she told me the fantasy is nice if i enjoy it, but it's not going to happen - she wouldn't know how to play for another man, and if she did he'd be either disappointed with her body or her performance, and then she'd worry i wouldn't want her anymore or the kids would find out. I told her she couldn't be more wrong about her body, but i know she doesn't believe in herself enough.
Mary is 34, 5 foot eight, of slim build and has gorgeous big brown eyes. She has shoulder length brown hair, 34" bust, and a cute ass that looks amazing in jeans. She wears a stripe, and has a honeybee tattoo on her inside thigh a couple of inches below her pussy. She's a social person who likes to have friends, but can be shy of new people.
I'm hoping she'll overcome her self doubt, just needs time.
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Re: Found myself here ...
PR - Perhaps when you two are getting frisky and in the mood and you want to move the convo in that direction, try asking if she and "Her bloke" have been up to anything lately, in a light hearted way.PlumberRob wrote: ↑Thu Nov 17, 2022 1:41 amI dropped the subject until she wanted to talk. Finding the time is difficult with two kids and full time jobs, we're both usually knackered by bedtime & deep convo's aren't always on the agenda, but we did talk after a couple of weeks of awkwardness.
She (Mary) told me she feels guilty and dirty she cheated, but also admitted she has fantasised about having illicit sex and even Googled it, but made it clear it's not going to happen. I assumed that was the end of the subject, a no go, but when we fucked a couple of days ago she told me she thought about someone else. I asked who, all she'd say is 'some bloke'. That really turned me on, i think she liked my reaction.
Then last night in bed she raised the subject again, a teasing sort of pillow talk asking me what turns me on with this. I told her i love the idea of her screwing another bloke, don't know why, but i do. Whilst telling her this she was slowly wanking me under the covers, asking me questions about what i imagine her doing and how far i imagine her going. She teased my dick, and the fuck that followed was amazing. After, she joked about having fantasy talks more often.
This morning we had a quick chat, and again she told me the fantasy is nice if i enjoy it, but it's not going to happen - she wouldn't know how to play for another man, and if she did he'd be either disappointed with her body or her performance, and then she'd worry i wouldn't want her anymore or the kids would find out. I told her she couldn't be more wrong about her body, but i know she doesn't believe in herself enough.
Mary is 34, 5 foot eight, of slim build and has gorgeous big brown eyes. She has shoulder length brown hair, 34" bust, and a cute ass that looks amazing in jeans. She wears a stripe, and has a honeybee tattoo on her inside thigh a couple of inches below her pussy. She's a social person who likes to have friends, but can be shy of new people.
I'm hoping she'll overcome her self doubt, just needs time.
Re: Found myself here ...
I suspect you told her this, but make sure to reassure her that she will NEVER lose you. This is about HER sexual pleasure. You just want to see her pleased above all else. Also let her know the two of you will be able to hide it from the kids.
Sounds like she is on her way. Enjoy the ride and never ever show disappointment in her or get upset if things don't end up exactly as your fantasies.
Sounds like she is on her way. Enjoy the ride and never ever show disappointment in her or get upset if things don't end up exactly as your fantasies.
Re: Found myself here ...
I think hotwife, cuckold, or stag/vixen arrangements often come about as a result of a wife having sex with another guy and her husband finding out. That's essentially how we started down this path. We were married, and my wife had a three-month affair with a coworker that I found out about when returning home from a work assignment a day earlier than anticipated.
I didn't show displeasure when she confessed but instead told her I found it exciting. The two of them broke off the relationship when he learned I knew about it. I didn't think that was necessary, but each was then uncomfortable now that I knew. I told her all I had wanted if that should come about was that I be made aware. She apologized and agreed to keep me in the loop in the future. She agreed that, having then experienced extramarital sex, it would be difficult to go back to the time when it was just the two of us. U don't want that either.
~ Des
I didn't show displeasure when she confessed but instead told her I found it exciting. The two of them broke off the relationship when he learned I knew about it. I didn't think that was necessary, but each was then uncomfortable now that I knew. I told her all I had wanted if that should come about was that I be made aware. She apologized and agreed to keep me in the loop in the future. She agreed that, having then experienced extramarital sex, it would be difficult to go back to the time when it was just the two of us. U don't want that either.
~ Des
Our hotwife history from its beginning at viewtopic.php?f=5&t=50057
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Re: Found myself here ...
Thanks for the comments guys, i'm playing this slowly, thinking about her.
Since my last post there have been some developments. Her friend at work has been giving advice, don't know what's been said. They've been for an after work drink a couple of times which is unusual, she rarely socialises with work people. Mary's gone into her deep thinking quiet mode again, turning something over in her head and again i'm going to have to wait for her to open up. A few nights ago she got herself off when she thought i was asleep, and i'm sure i heard her doing it in the shower too. I haven't said anything to her about it, - it's her private time, however I'm finding it a real turn on to know she's getting off on something. I've also noticed she's more dominant in bed, taking the lead more and wanting it more. Even if i never get to be a cuckold, mentioning my fantasy to her has made our sex life so much better, and i'm loving it!
Since my last post there have been some developments. Her friend at work has been giving advice, don't know what's been said. They've been for an after work drink a couple of times which is unusual, she rarely socialises with work people. Mary's gone into her deep thinking quiet mode again, turning something over in her head and again i'm going to have to wait for her to open up. A few nights ago she got herself off when she thought i was asleep, and i'm sure i heard her doing it in the shower too. I haven't said anything to her about it, - it's her private time, however I'm finding it a real turn on to know she's getting off on something. I've also noticed she's more dominant in bed, taking the lead more and wanting it more. Even if i never get to be a cuckold, mentioning my fantasy to her has made our sex life so much better, and i'm loving it!
Re: Found myself here ...
It took us over five years from when we first talked about it until actually doing it. We have been married 34 years and for the last 19 plus years we have been a Hotwife and Cuckold couple. So give it time, keep talking, learn to shut up when you need to be listening, express your excitement at every opportunity you get. When you get an erection tell her it's because you are thinking about her with another man and let her feel how hard you are. When you talk about it tell her what you want to see. Start slowly setting expectations and keep asking her what she would like. Remember it's just as much if not more about her pleasure than yours. But most importantly, always reaffirm your love for her, before talking about this, during talking and after talking about this. Keep excited and keep it in a loving manner, you will arrive before you know it. Oh and don't freak out when the jealousy rip's through your body the first few times.PlumberRob wrote: ↑Tue Nov 29, 2022 1:05 amThanks for the comments guys, i'm playing this slowly, thinking about her.
Since my last post there have been some developments. Her friend at work has been giving advice, don't know what's been said. They've been for an after work drink a couple of times which is unusual, she rarely socialises with work people. Mary's gone into her deep thinking quiet mode again, turning something over in her head and again i'm going to have to wait for her to open up. A few nights ago she got herself off when she thought i was asleep, and i'm sure i heard her doing it in the shower too. I haven't said anything to her about it, - it's her private time, however I'm finding it a real turn on to know she's getting off on something. I've also noticed she's more dominant in bed, taking the lead more and wanting it more. Even if i never get to be a cuckold, mentioning my fantasy to her has made our sex life so much better, and i'm loving it!
Hotwife and Cum Eating Caged Cuckold Couple
Re: Found myself here ...
The seed is growing. Continue to water it and encourage it when you have the opportunity.
She already is thinking and fantasizing about it, she may now be thinking over the ethical nature of it, of how it will affect your marriage, and she will get past the ‘dirty’ feeling of it.
Turn the tables on her. Next time in bed start playing with her, ask her to go through her fantasy of it happening. Describing the man, the size of his cock, the sex they have, the positions, how rough it is, how many times they cum,
What she’s wearing, and how it makes her feel, and what you are doing while she’s fucking this guy. Are they in a hotel, his place or yours, in a car, bathroom, etc.
Getting her to go from her mind to verbalizing it will be one way for her to gauge your reaction as she shares the experience of her fucking another.
Of course your words of encouragement and leading questions about the experience are of paramount importance.
Then the ‘reclaim’ sex after she finishes her story, and hopefully cums once or more, is important and will show her how into the fantasy and her, you are.
Good luck and please keep us posted.
She already is thinking and fantasizing about it, she may now be thinking over the ethical nature of it, of how it will affect your marriage, and she will get past the ‘dirty’ feeling of it.
Turn the tables on her. Next time in bed start playing with her, ask her to go through her fantasy of it happening. Describing the man, the size of his cock, the sex they have, the positions, how rough it is, how many times they cum,
What she’s wearing, and how it makes her feel, and what you are doing while she’s fucking this guy. Are they in a hotel, his place or yours, in a car, bathroom, etc.
Getting her to go from her mind to verbalizing it will be one way for her to gauge your reaction as she shares the experience of her fucking another.
Of course your words of encouragement and leading questions about the experience are of paramount importance.
Then the ‘reclaim’ sex after she finishes her story, and hopefully cums once or more, is important and will show her how into the fantasy and her, you are.
Good luck and please keep us posted.
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Re: Found myself here ...
Completely agree. It's going to happen. You are just currently going through the process of her getting used to the thought that she can fuck someone else if she wants to. And she does want to or none of the further conversations would have happened.mundyman wrote: ↑Thu Dec 01, 2022 3:08 amThe seed is growing. Continue to water it and encourage it when you have the opportunity.
She already is thinking and fantasizing about it, she may now be thinking over the ethical nature of it, of how it will affect your marriage, and she will get past the ‘dirty’ feeling of it.
Re: Found myself here ...
I often think about how many friends and acquaintances have met, married and divorced in a few years, whereas I see others together and seemingly miserable.
When you're together for 10+ years and still she's the focus of your fantasies, that should be something that you, and her, should be proud of.
She just needs to be reassured that you're not suddenly going to be advertising for a bull next week, and have fun with the fantasy and getting comfortable opening up to each other about your respective fantasies.
When you're together for 10+ years and still she's the focus of your fantasies, that should be something that you, and her, should be proud of.
She just needs to be reassured that you're not suddenly going to be advertising for a bull next week, and have fun with the fantasy and getting comfortable opening up to each other about your respective fantasies.
Re: Found myself here ...
Subtle changes you notice, but the heavy lift for her is digesting all of this and trying to imagine her new role in life. It will take her as much time as she needs. Relish the small changes.