I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

For cuckoldresses and the men who serve them.
wagonmaker1
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by wagonmaker1 » Thu Jun 07, 2018 9:52 am

that is great Ky, we all know u & Jaimee will make great parents, yes start your family, best to u both.

elina

Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by elina » Thu Jun 07, 2018 12:45 pm

Thanks for updating Ky,

I am so happy to see that you made it home safe, and so sad to hear about your new founds friend's untimely death. And you are so right, there are many more like him who were killed. And many more family members left behind who will never see their loved ones again while having lost all of the families property and everything. Just thinking about it puts life into a completely different perspective.

Take care of yourself and your lovely wife, and let all of the emotions that will naturally overpower you in such a situation run their course.
True love and the sharing of thoughts and emotions is so much more important than sex and games so I think everyone will understand how you feel right now.

Maybe the desire to play will come back to you and Jamie at a later stage in life, maybe not. It is certainly not urgent and not even important to even think of this now.

Regardless, I for one would truly appreciate if you would find the time to check in and post an update on how you and Jamie are doing once in a while even if "nothing is happening". I did not comment on your thread recently, it was so fantastic I was sort of felt uanable to find anything meaningful to say.

Thanks for everything you shared so far, I wish you all the best whatever you and Jamie decides to do and not to do.

sincerely
elina

BigHotMess
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by BigHotMess » Thu Jun 07, 2018 1:14 pm

I am truly sorry to hear about your friend. My deepest condolences to you, bud.

Maddie_Hippychick
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by Maddie_Hippychick » Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:29 am

Ky, thank you so much for sharing your adventures with us. You are a gifted storyteller. And, I’m so glad you made it back to Jamie safe and sound. Of course you don’t owe us anything, but I would just love it if you could tie up one loose end for us... What happens with Wade now? Will he remain in your lives? This must be hard for him. He and Jamie were obviously close. How did that conversation go?

Ky_Da
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by Ky_Da » Fri Jun 08, 2018 1:44 pm

Thanks all for the well-wishes. It’s been greatly appreciated. My company gave me the week off without incurring any vacation or personal time, so it’s been good to have some time to decompress, although, I’ve been watching the news a little too much, and that can be bad for you.

My wife has put in minimal days and so we’ve had some good time to be together. We’re heading up the coast to a nice bed and breakfast for the weekend—I’m looking forward to that. But while I’m waiting for my wife to get home, I thought I’d put pen-to-paper so to speak and share my thoughts. Maddie_Hippychick, you ask a really tough question. Truth be told, I’m not sure what’s going to happen. We invited Wade over last night for dinner so that we could all talk. It was a little difficult at first. We all felt like we were dancing around the elephant in the room and not sure how to start the conversation.

My wife was the first one to speak, but Wade politely interrupted her and asked to speak first. I’m doing some serious summarizing here, but basically, he said that he didn’t want to come between us. He thanked us for letting him be close to Jaimee and said that he’d treasure the time that they’d had together. He said he understood that I wanted to stop playing any games and that we were wanting to start a family. He was gracious and mature, and very understanding. And for the first time since I got back, I felt a pang of guilt for stopping everything. Actually, I felt a pang of guilt for helping something get started that could/would develop into something… I don’t know… something more I guess.

In the end, Wade simply said that he’d love it if Jaimee kept coming to train at the gym, but that he wouldn’t put any pressure on her to have sex or anything of the like. He was very candid and said it sucks being “friend-zoned’ but that he enjoys having us as friends and doesn’t want to lose that. One thing he said that caught me off guard was that he has a lot of acquaintances, but not a lot of true friends.

All-in-all, it was a good evening, but I have to say, there was a sexual energy still in the air between those two. They were both well behaved and no sexual innuendoes were put out there that I saw, but as close as they’ve been, I guess it’s natural for there to be lingering feelings. But with exception to last night, I’ve felt that my wife’s attention has been completely on me—and honestly, even last night she sat next to, she touched only me, she was all mine. She went off the pill a couple of days ago, and we’ve had some of the most loving and intimate sex we’ve ever shared.

Wade left as soon as dinner was over and my wife and I agreed not to discuss him or the game we played this weekend. As we got ready for bed, I caught my wife wiping a tear away. It took me a lot of prying and pushing, but I finally got her to admit that she was feeling very emotional about ending it with Wade, but that she didn’t want to talk about it right now. It took me a little while to fall asleep last night. I stayed awake thinking about the consequences about playing our game. Wade’s a big boy, and he knew what he was getting into. We all did. But knowing that doesn’t make it much easier when you’re trying to end it. Our emotions don’t always do what we want them to do. My wife was feeling the difficulty of withdrawal. I knew Wade had to have been feeling it too. Several times I just thought, ‘fuck him, he doesn’t matter. It was just a game.’ But thinking that way didn’t feel right to me. I finally fell asleep feeling confused and with a waring conscience.

Then I woke up about 2 in the morning. The bed was moving slightly and I realized that my wife was masturbating next to me. She thought I was asleep, and if she reads this she’s going to be furious that I acted like I was asleep. I didn’t want to disturb her, so I just laid there and listened. She kept herself occupied for well over an hour before she finally stopped and went to sleep.

I couldn’t fall asleep after that. My fucking cuck tendencies started grabbing hold, and my mind started whirring. It took a couple of days for the shock to finally leave my body, and for me to start noticing things again. I felt like I was walking around in a haze—still do to some degree. But as I laid there, my mind started recalling everything. Coming home and seeing my wife’s new haircut. Her clothes smelled different, her skin smelled different, it was like I was with a different woman at first. I remembered walking past her closet and noticing that many of her things were still at Wades. We had sex like our lives depended on it the first time. It was like running a hundred-yard dash, we were both breathing hard and still couldn’t catch our breath. Yet, during sex, she ground her hips on me differently, trying to feel something I don’t think I could give her. I didn’t notice at first, but after only a couple of penetrations, she felt different to me. Her sex was used to relaxing and accepting a larger cock, and I wasn’t feeling the friction that I was used to.

To answer hippychick’s question… I don’t know what Wade’s going to do. It feels unfair to just be done with it, but I don’t know what another alternative there is. Jaimee and I are going to talk about this at some point, and I hope that we are able to keep a good friendship with Wade, but I’m not sure what will happen there.

It’s weird. I have this sexual drive that wants to be released and to play the game. But as I reflect on the loss of my friend and what happened down in Guatemala, I lose all sense of libido. I even lose my motivation to accomplish anything during the day. It’s like this cloud of depression just wants to hang out with me all day long. This is one reason we don’t want to talk about Wade right now, I’m not in a good place at the moment. I need some time.

DavidnDaria

Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by DavidnDaria » Fri Jun 08, 2018 2:11 pm

Hell yeah, you need some time. You could have died, Ky. Jaimee needs time, too.

Seriously, your tendencies may not pass and yeah, you might end up right back in the game, so the only thing I can say is to follow your inner voice. My inner voice has never let me down.

Have a great weekend, Ky. Reconnect.

Dave

norbertrichard
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by norbertrichard » Fri Jun 08, 2018 5:28 pm

Glad to hear that you are getting back in the grove, and trying to start a family, GREAT. Understandably its going to take time to regain the old feelings, and I am sure that Jaimee is going through a form of withdrawal ,from the way that She and Wade connected, but with time she will ajust. Best of luck as you move foward.

elina

Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by elina » Fri Jun 08, 2018 9:48 pm

Ky,

Take your time.
Allow the feelings that emerges to come to the fore without supressing and of them, just observe for now.
Maybe best to not make any "never" and "ever" statements right now.
Share your feelings with Jaimee and make Her secure about sharing Her feelings with you.
Ultimately what I think you realize now is how much you love Her and how it is important to you that the two of you will always be together. For that to happen though, you also need to figure out how you can make Her happy longterm.

Sincerely
elina

poppag
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by poppag » Sat Jun 09, 2018 5:46 am

i think i am in agreement with the statement, Never say ever or never, look how that went the last time. but i do believe that if anything came out of this experience, and you can call it karma, or just good luck. You came home safely and while Jaime may have been enthralled and seriously leaning over the edge and you were right there pushing her, when it was all said and done, Look where you are. TOGETHER, a loving happy and caring for each other couple. who value each other above all else in this world. Wade? Well he is always going to be part of the equation, whether he is like a Derrick, a cautionary tale or as welcomed and continued member of your inner circle of friends. Nobody has all the answers and while it will probably take some time to sort things out. Let the future be a journey that you and Jaime look forward to being on for a long time.

well wishes

mundyman
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by mundyman » Sat Jun 09, 2018 6:33 am

First and foremost let me add again how happy I am for you and Jaimee. You arrived home safely after one hell of an experience. I am sorry for your loss. Death is a reminder of how precious life is, AND how we should strive live it to the fullest every day while we have the chance. You and Jaimee both realized how important you are to each other and how much you treasure your love and life together. It would be hard enough to mentally and emotionally handle the Jaimee and Wade living together thing, but throw in a truly life and death experience and the trauma of the sudden loss of a close acquaintance, and that's truly emotional overload. Good luck and best wishes dealing with your recovery. But good for you guys. You are safe and back together.
An interesting Epilogue to your story.
If you are spiritual in nature, if you believe in karma, you could believe that someone or something was telling you that you needed to be back together with Jaimee, NOW. If not, then you could probably consider yourself lucky things worked out the way they did as Jaimee definitely did seem to be developing feelings for Wade. It sounds like you did get very close to that edge you were looking for and talking about.
Jaimee's developing feelings for Wade would be expected as you and many of us discussed earlier in this thread. Human nature being what it is people develop feelings for each given how Jaimee and Wade were living with each other. Who knows what would have developed given two or three more weeks together. I'm sure the voyeurs here are disappointed we won't get to see the Jaimee and Wade experiment to its conclusion. The story was sizzling hot, very exciting, incredibly sexy, fraught with danger, and full of emotion, and very real. But to this guy, the experiment ended at just the right time for all three of you.
That said, how incredibly fortunate you are that Wade is so level headed, although my guess is he put a good show on for you, and Jaimee. I'm sure his inner feelings mirror Jaimee's with a tremendous sense of loss. Just think, a young guy with a woman who is a sexual dynamo, into getting tied up, loves giving blowjobs, submissive, and will fuck in front of his friends. That's like winning the lottery. But on top of that your wife sounds like a tremendous person and not some crazy bitchy young girl. So as much as Jaimee is gong through separation and decompression, I'm sure he is too. Wade is just trying to be a guy and hide his feelings.
It would not surprise me that at some point Jaimee melts down and shares the feelings she has developed for Wade. Give her the chance to fully empty her emotions. You might hear some things you'd rather not, but you definitely don't want her carrying them around, suppressed and festering over time. As much as you have things to share and get off your chest, I can only imagine she does to.
I would imagine some of your conversations this weekend and perhaps moving forward will include how to keep Wade in the loop so to speak, and perhaps some type of setup where Jaimee is allowed to scratch her Wade itch. He sounds like a guy who might develop into a trustworthy FWB.
Does something tell me that given how you two are wired, and with the experiences you've had, that you and Jaimee will be hotwifing again at some point in the future. Probably not next week, next month, this year, but at some point...
Whatever happens please stay on the board. Please share your conversations and decisions that you guys have. As exciting as it was to hear about your trip down the rabbit hole, it is also interesting to many of us to hear how you crawl back out. How you reconnect, and the new reality that is your life after these two very momentous experiences in your lives.
Continued best wishes and good thoughts to you and Jaimee as you travel through this lifestyle.
Thanks for sharing.

larryt
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by larryt » Sat Jun 09, 2018 3:17 pm

Think about asking Jaimee how she really feels. If you judge that she wants it, suggest that she pick up where she left off with Wade.

Bartleby
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by Bartleby » Sat Jun 09, 2018 8:17 pm

my wife had the same reaction after she stopped with her first lover. Nice experience, but too stressful for our relationship, and too much work to handle two guys. Just like you guys, we are happy about my wife having started again.

hotwifelover31

Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by hotwifelover31 » Sun Jun 10, 2018 6:05 am

Ky, apologies for not being more timely in expressing my relief on your safe return and sorrow for the loss of your friend (albeit praying he might have been discovered alive after you departed Guatemala). Happy to hear you on Jaime are focusing on your marriage, each other and your future parenthood. At every step of the incredibly erotic and intense journey you’ve so brilliantly and authentically shared with us, from school zone to warp speed, it has been abundantly clear how much you both love and adore each other and how solid your marital bond is. This unique kinky lifestyle and its many permutations can be playing with fire, but you both have always made sure that your relationship and love for each other was being reinforced and enhanced. As you discerned when you took your last break, it’s hard to shut the craving down completely and those feelings and desires are close to impossible to extinguish. But there are many different ways are indulging those when the time and life circumstances are aligned. Good luck and, while it goes without saying, take care of your amazing sweet sexy goddess hotwife (part-time, state-of-the-art cuckoldress) Jaime!

Ky_Da
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by Ky_Da » Sun Jun 10, 2018 6:23 pm

Hey all,

A continued and sincere thank you for the kind posts. It’s amazing what a difference a couple of days can make. I’m feeling so much better today. We decided to splurge a little and booked a B&B on the beach. There’s just something about waking up and hearing and seeing the ocean that is incredibly Zen like. My wife and I were up until early hours this morning, so she’s still fast asleep. But of course, not me, it doesn’t matter what time I go to bed, I always wake up the same time of morning.

We talked and talked and talked and talked, and then talked some more. Oh, and of course there was a lot of sex in between. I noticed something this morning, and I’m surprised I hadn’t noticed it before. When we’ve played the game, when my wife’s married pussy is being used by another man’s cock, and when I’m basically high on the angst and eroticism of it all. I’ll masturbate a hundred times but I’ll never find any real satisfaction. I mean I find intense pleasure, but my orgasm leaves me only wanting more. I don’t feel any peace, so the cycle starts again, and I watch my wife and push her into evermore crazy circumstances. I get high on it all, but I never feel like I can get enough.

Contrast that with this weekend. After several much-needed conversations with my amazing wife, and after we made love, I finally found peace. I felt like myself again. I felt relaxed and satisfied. This is why I couldn’t live in long-term chastity. I could see us playing a short game of it someday—I still owe my wife something to fulfill her wishes, but that’s a conversation for another day. What I’m trying to say is that as fun as the game is, it’s like eating a bunch of appetizers and desserts. You can eat a lot of them but in the end, you need to feast on good food in a proper meal to be satisfied. Sex, making love with my wife, is so much more than just a physical experience. I’m coming to realize that I don’t need to be Wade. I can give her what he can’t.

Yesterday, after a relaxing lunch, we were chatting about our experiences over the last few weeks. I talked more in depth about my friend Agustin and his very inappropriate, but hilarious sense of humor. Jaimee shed as many tears as I did while we talked. She’s such an empathetic person. And of course, I talked about how I felt watching the videos and looking at the pictures of her. I had to confess to her that I’ve watched some of them many, many, many times. She wanted to know which one my favorite was.

“I have two favorites,” I told her, “I can’t decide which one I like more.” She smiled and waited for me to answer so I said, “I love watching you give that other woman an orgasm. There’s something almost magical about that video.”

Jaimee smiled at me, but I could tell she was remembering the experience herself, “Looking back on it, I’m actually shocked that I did it… I can see why Las Vegas can be so dangerous. You really do start to feel like anything is acceptable. All the girls in the brothels were probably all nice, prim and proper types that simply stayed in Vegas a little too long.”

That made me laugh, thinking that the prostitutes in Vegas came into the profession because they’d extended their vacation by a night or two. “So, it’s a good thing it was just a long weekend then, and not a week or two,” I joked, “Otherwise I would have found you at the Bunny Ranch.” She gave me a confused look and I quickly explained that the Bunny Ranch was a name of one of the more infamous brothels.

Jaimee surprised me by what she said next, “Julie’s text me a few times since that night.”

I sat up, “Seriously? Does she want to hook up with you again?”

Jaimee gave me an exasperated look, “You blokes are so bloody thick sometimes,” she said, rolling her eyes, “No, she’s a lovely person. She just wanted to say thank you. She says her husband learned enough from it that he’s been able to give her more proper orgasms.”

“It looked like you gave her more than a ‘proper’ orgasm,” I commented, drawing out the word proper. “It looked to me like you blew her fucking mind.”

Jaimee laid back, gave me a wicked smile and very smugly said, “What can I say, I have a talented tongue.”

That made me laugh again, “I’ll say. From what I heard you say in the early part of the video, I didn’t think you’d get her off, but then you ended up leaving that pour woman in shambles.”

Looking more pensive, Jaimee said, “I wasn’t sure that she would be able to orgasm in front of everyone. It doesn’t take much pressure to make a woman feel unsure of herself, and so much of having a good orgasm is in your head,” she explained, “but I think just from me having said that, it somehow took the pressure off. Like if she didn’t orgasm, then everyone would know why, so she was able to relax and enjoy it instead of getting all freaked out.” I say listening intently. Enrapt in the way she was telling me about the experience. “I knew she was mine when her breath started to hitch—I don’t think that pour girl’s every really frigged herself, so she wasn’t able to tell her husband what she liked.”

“That’s amazing,” I said, in true awe, “I love how you said, you knew she was yours,” I added, “I’m not sure why, but it turned me on when you said it.” I begged her to continue. I really wanted to know the small details.

“Julie’s clit is really small, and its tucked way up, so it’s hard to stimulate. It only takes a bit more effort.” She paused for a while and I was about to prompt her to continue, but luckily she continued, “I could tell she’s never had her g-spot touched, because she froze when I first touched her there… That’s when I started to get randy. It was actually fun then, I kind of got in the zone and tuned everyone out.”

“I could tell,” I told her. “That’s what I liked the most. You had her cumming over and over and over. It was honestly one of the highlights of my life.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” she said dryly. “But now you understand why I want to see you with a cock in your mouth. You got off watching me tonging a girl’s pussy. I want to see you sucking a man’s cock—it’s the same thing.”

“No babe, it’s not even close to the same thing,” I said, laughing uncomfortably. “It’s totally different for a guy.”

“Why,” she asked, “Do you think it makes you less of a man?”

“Yes, exactly that!”

“Bullocks!” she cried, “Does it make me less of a woman for licking some girl’s vagina?”

“Fuck no, if anything, it makes you hotter. But it’s not the same thing.”

She rolled her eyes at me, exasperated that she wasn’t making her point, or that I just wasn’t getting it, “I don’t think gay men think it makes them less of a man.”

“I don’t know how they think. I’m not gay, I’m not even a little gay, so I have no idea.”

“Well I’m not gay either, and I enjoy it.” As soon as she said that laugh escaped my lips, despite my best efforts to hold it in.

“Why are you laughing? I’m not gay,” she said vehemently.

I held up my hand, holding my thumb and first finger closely together, “You might be a little gay, sweetheart.”

“There’s no talking to you sometimes,” she said scornfully, but I could tell she wasn’t really mad at me. It’s that fake, faux anger she likes to throw at me—which I love.

“Yeah, yeah,” I played it off, “So tell me about the beach scene.” I told her, and when she turned almost scarlet red, I knew it was going to be a good story. Which I’ll have to write another day.

I ran out of time this morning and had to finish this up this evening. Back to reality. Back to work… For now.

sabya167
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by sabya167 » Mon Jun 11, 2018 3:07 am

Have you two talked about if Jaimee wants to continue her crossfit regimen since she was so way into it and it benifitted her so much. If yes then would it be Wades gym or a new one?
I felt it was smart on your part to bring up the pics and videos because it gave you an opening to try and get Jaimee to start talking about her feelings on Wade. You had to try. You just can't let it hang between you, and then you skillfully brought up the beach scene,throwing her off guard. But what a ruined orgasm for me at the end. I mean you touch the beach scene and then 'bang' the post ends,ha ha.
I'll take this post as the 'julie-appetiser' and cant wait for the 'Wade-main course' to arrive. If it takes time,no problems, it'll be worth the wait i'm sure.

Ky_Da
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by Ky_Da » Mon Jun 11, 2018 4:46 pm

To quickly answer a question from Sabya, yes, we discussed her continuing at the gym—we discussed a lot more about Wade and the game than I think either one of us intended. I guess we both felt like we really needed to find out how the other one felt about it all. We had originally thought we’d table all the ‘game’ talk for the weekend, but eventually, we opened up the topic. My wife doesn’t want to lose the progress she’s made at the gym, she’s really been hitting the workouts hard lately, and she’s very happy with her progress (as am I). I’ll hit the details of that conversation after I update the story about the beach video.

It was fun seeing how embarrassed my wife got even remembering the beach scene. I love the new-found confidence she’s gained over the last couple of years, and I don’t see this side of her as often as I did when we were first married—that innocent, quickly to blush side of her personality.

“We spent a lovely day at the beach,” she began, telling me a little about the people that had accompanied them—mainly gym friends. “and I wanted to tease you with loads of good pictures, so I wore the skimpiest swim costume I could find—it was bloody scandalous. It’s a good thing that mum lives thousands of miles away, if she’d seen me, it would’ve been the death of her.

“It felt brilliant though, yeah. It felt so naughty being in public with so little clothes on. At first, I felt completely starkers, but as the day went on, I became a bit more used to it. Still, being that exposed and messing about in public had me feeling bloody randy all day, so I can’t be blamed for not thinking clearly,” she laughed lightly and I had an erection made of steel thinking about it. “When the sun went down, Wade gave me his jumper, but after being in the water I couldn’t get warm so Wade pulled me into his chair and pulled a blanket over us.

“He had taken off his swim costume and was wearing a loose pair of gym shorts. I couldn’t resist… I only meant to tease him, so I started touching his cock through his shorts. We were sitting way behind everyone, and no one was paying us much attention so we started to feel more daring. We were kissing and talking, and I kept touching him. After a while, I had to pull his shorts down in front to let his cock out because he started complaining that it was hurting him. That’s when Wade pulled me onto his lap and opened my legs so that his cock was between my thighs.

“I could feel him rubbing against me through the material of my swimsuit. Things started to get a little fuzzy then. Wade started fingering me and then the next thing I knew, he’d pulled the material to the side and I could feel the tip of his cock trying to enter. It was mental, Ky. I would stiffen up and push against him, and so he’d stop for a minute or two. But then he’d kiss my neck and continue to touch me, and suddenly I’d feel him slide a little deep inside me. That pattern kept up until he was all the way inside me... I’ve never felt anything like that before. It’s like my brain shut down—I couldn’t think. Suddenly I didn’t care that we were in public with only a blanket covering us.

“He fucked me so slowly it was excruciating. I had to bite the inside of my cheeks not to make any noise, but when he finally came, it felt like a fire engine hosing me down from inside. I honestly thought he was having a wee it was so much. It startled me enough that I made a noise that caught everyone’s attention. Everyone suddenly was looking at us, and that’s when the teasing started. I bloody wanted to die. I could still feel Wade’s cock twitching inside me, and everyone was staring at me… I bloody wanted to crawl into the sand and disappear. God it was embarrassing.”

I don’t think my wife has ever had that much of my complete attention as she did in that moment. She was closing her eyes and I could tell she was reliving the embarrassing moment. “What happened then?” I tried not to shout.

Running her fingers through her short hair, she sighed, “It felt like we stayed like that for a long time. Stacy tried to get everyone to turn around and give us some privacy, but the guys were all being wankers and wouldn’t stop taking the piss. Wade finally told everyone to fuck off and then he picked me. He was going to carry me to the loo… but as soon as he stood up, his cock slid out and it felt like a gallon of cum poured out of me. I made him put me down and then I ran as fast as I could into the ocean. Even with a million gallons of water around me, it took forever to clean myself up.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, “I’ve looked at those beach pictures a hundred times. I would have loved to have been there watching that.”

We talked about a number of other personal things, and I was about to ask her about her feelings and what she wants to do when she beat me to the punch. “Ky, when you came home, you said that you never wanted to play the game again, and we decided that we were going to try to start our family. But,” she hesitated for a moment, “But I see how excited you are now, and you’re pushing to know the details of my time with Wade. It confuses me. I don’t know what you want.” And there is was. She was completely right. I did say that, and now I was wanting to know everything that her and Wade had done. My cuck tendencies were pulling at me again, and pulling hard. I was about to speak when she cut me off, “Wait, I don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing you into a decision right now. You went through a lot last week, and it’s not a good time yet to discuss it. I’m only telling you my feelings right now.”

It took me a long time to collect my thoughts. I finally said, “I just don’t want to lose you, Jaimee. My head’s still a mess about the whole thing. On one hand I think I’m being a fool for letting another man have you and for missing out on that precious time with you. Then on the other hand, I get so much pleasure out of your experiences with Wade… I worry about you falling in love with him—no, that’s not exactly it. I mean, we’ve talked about this. I know emotions are part of it. I know you’re close to him now. I can see it in your face in the pictures. You’re very intimate with each other. He knows your body every bit as well as I do—maybe better now. And here I am, getting hard again just thinking about it.”

My wife ran her hand through my hair and was very affectionate as she said, “We don’t have to make any decisions right now, but I understand now that this is your nature—this is what turns you on. If you want to end it, I won’t sleep with Wade anymore. But… but I want to keep going to the gym—I don’t want to give that up.”

“You think you could resist? You think you could train there and resist Wade’s little dick?” I asked teasingly.

Jaimee made a little snort sound, “You’re the one with the little dicky. Wade’s cock is god’s gift to women—sorry,” she quickly apologized, “I didn’t mean to fall into the game--,”

“—Don’t apologize,” I interrupted, “I’m sorry. I was the one who started it. I’d like you to tell me honestly though,” I said, “If the whole volcano exploding in Guatemala hadn’t happened, and we’d gone the whole month as planned, what would have happened?”

My wife pulled away enough so that she could look me in the eyes, “What do you mean?” she asked sincerely, “Are you asking if I would have stayed the whole time with him.”

“Partly yes, but more than that. You’ve said that you’re willing to stop sleeping with him now if I asked you to, but if another couple of weeks had gone by with the same intensity as the first two weeks, would you have gotten to the point where you wouldn’t stop sleeping with him, even if I asked?”

The gorgeous short-haired woman sitting next to me on the bed gave me a look that I couldn’t interpret right away, “That’s a bit of a non-sequitur, isn’t it? And you know I hate hypothetical questions—but I know what you’re pushing at, and to be completely honest, I know another two weeks wouldn’t have made me say something like that. It would’ve just made it harder to break things off with him. But if I continued to sleep with Wade, I’ve got to think that eventually something like that could happen,” she looked at me for a long moment, almost like she was studying me. “That thought turns you on doesn’t it? You like that thought of me being permanently with Wade—at least part time?”

I swallowed hard and nodded, “The deeper parts of my fantasies want that, but I try to bury those,” I confessed honestly.

Jaimee nodded. Her lips pursed together tightly for a long moment, and then said, “Sometimes I think I understand this obsession, but then sometimes I realize it runs a lot deeper than I knew. Love,” she said, her tone much more serious, “you need to understand that Wade does get me off sexually, and I really enjoy the game we play, but the only way this works for me is that I have to make myself think of you, even when I’m having sex with Wade—especially when I’m having sex with Wade. I think of you watching the videos, or looking at the pictures, or even when we’re at home and I know you’re watching from close by… I get pleasure in knowing that I’m scratching your itch, too,” she paused in thought again, “Thinking of you makes sure that my heart stays with you and helps me think of my time with Wade as just a physical thing—a time when I can let my slutty side out for a while. But sometimes things get a bit too intense, and I get lost in the moment…”

“I know, I’m all fucked up with this obsession. I don’t understand it a lot of the time,” I thought long and hard about my next question because it’s one of those don’t-ask-a-question-you-don’t-want-the-answer-to questions, but I couldn’t stop myself, “Do you want to keep sleeping with Wade, do you still want him to be your boyfriend?”

My wife gave me a sharp look, “That’s not fair of you to ask me that, Ky.” I was about to ask why when she added, “You had a really hard experience last week, and I want to be supportive right now. You’re trying to cope with everything and playing the game isn’t the best idea right now.”

“I know,” I assured her, “and I am grateful for everything, but I want to take your feelings into consideration, too. It’s not just about me. I just want to know how you feel.”

She didn’t answer me for a long moment, but finally she nodded slowly, almost imperceptibly, “I feel like total shite saying this now, but yes, I still want to see Wade… bloody hell… I’ve been trying to push those feelings away, but I like the way it makes me feel. I like working out with him, I like having sex with him, I like teasing you while I’m doing it and seeing your reaction. And… and the more—rather, the longer it goes on, the more I like it. I don’t love him, Ky. Not like I love you, but he’s been good to me and I do care for him.” Again, I was about to speak but she rolled right over me, “Don’t suggest anything, Ky. Don’t say anything right now—not today. I want to go to the gym tomorrow, but I’ll only work out. We need to take some time. We don’t need to make a decision today or jump into something we’re not ready for.”

I could only nod my head and agree. Fuck I married an incredible woman.

I still have to write about the day that Wade’s parents showed up. It isn’t a long story because there wasn’t much time, but it’s still interesting.

ballextender3209
Experienced
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Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2014 9:00 am
Location: Germany

Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by ballextender3209 » Mon Jun 11, 2018 5:06 pm

Holy crap and thank you is all I can post!

poppag
Experienced
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Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 9:02 pm

Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by poppag » Mon Jun 11, 2018 5:31 pm

great follow up. It is so good how you and Jaime communicate and how you can be honest with each other without offending one another.

great story, cant wait for more

vmb69
Pervert
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by vmb69 » Mon Jun 11, 2018 8:20 pm

one day at a time Ky. My wife and I have had some of the same feelings, and right now I have to control the constant want to be a cuckold. She gets it, and understands. But rushing back would not be good, I would recommend to let nature take its course, just enjoy your time with Jaime, and show her that you can control it. Trust me she will still know how much you want it.

norbertrichard
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by norbertrichard » Mon Jun 11, 2018 8:59 pm

i'M VERY HAPPY FOR THE BOTH OF YOU,AND HAPPY THAT YOU TWO ARE GIVING YOURSELVES TIME TO GET YOUR MINDS, AND PRIORITIES IN LINE. THE GAME IS VERY DANGEROUS , AND FULL OF PIT FALLS, WHAT YOU TWO HAVE IS TO GREAT TO CHANCE TO FATE.

sadie

Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by sadie » Mon Jun 11, 2018 10:50 pm

Ky, it's good to hear the two of you working through this, living through the catastrophe in Guatemala is huge and I'm glad you're taking the time to re-evaluate. If I'd had time to respond the day you said it was all off, I was going to say "don't be hasty" because I knew you'd be back. That was partly confirmed when you related finding Jaimee burying her knuckle(s) when she thought you were asleep.

It seems clear you're both made for this and also that your mutual commitment is as strong as ever. One of the reasons queer people eschew the term "lifestyle" is that it makes sexuality sound like something one can put on and take off like so much clothing. Orientation runs far deeper and truly experienced sexuality is transformative. True we can choose to stop any particular thing, however the really strong sensual experiences we have change us, almost always for the better.

So take it from a queer woman who's been around more than a few blocks, you're just seeing the tip of the iceberg. Do take your time and do allow this to change you ;-).

sabya167
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by sabya167 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 6:23 am

Interesting crossroads. The vital question whether she can resist Wade's animal magnetism at the gym was not given a direct reply because she herself is not sure about that. So she wants to figure that out by firstly having a measure of her own emotions when she is in the company of Wade and secondly how Wade acts towards her,professionally or otherwise. She will then let you in on that. But i think, in all probability, they are leaning towards starting where they left off. Can't wait to hear what happened at the gym.

trdd
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by trdd » Wed Jun 13, 2018 4:02 am

Your story is like many people on the forum's fantasy. It has gone so far. Still, I am rooting for you to take a break. A medium break or a long one if kids comes along.

Your wife is amazing but pushing it too far with another man..... well, in real life there should be a limit, shouldn't there?

Bayless
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Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by Bayless » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:55 am

trdd wrote:Your story is like many people on the forum's fantasy. It has gone so far. Still, I am rooting for you to take a break. A medium break or a long one if kids comes along.

Your wife is amazing but pushing it too far with another man..... well, in real life there should be a limit, shouldn't there?
Ky. I think you and Jamie are at a critical point in your relationship and I think you can be very successful at either choice you make, but not both. If you continue the relationship with Wade, I think that you both have proven that it meets your very important needs,plus he appears to be a good guy. That Lifestyle seems to work for all involved as long as you communicate honestly.

The other choice obviously, is to raise a family. Those two options can not exist in the same setting.
Raising a young family is a full time job for all concerned. Plus another segment of the relationship with Wade is that at least with the work out friends, they know, and have likely shared with others, that Wade and Jamie are an intimate couple. Trying to explain that relationship to friends, other parents, etc. would be difficult for all concerned. Unfortunately children don’t get to choose their parents. In other words the two choices you have are not conducive to being successful concurrently, and my hope is that you will not attempt to combine the two. Take your time in deciding, but choose one, not both. Children deserve your full attention if that is your choice. Best wishes.

sabya167
Experienced
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Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2014 11:28 am

Re: I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

Unread post by sabya167 » Wed Jun 13, 2018 7:31 am

Just a random thought here. I was thinking that when Jaimee goes back to the gym, either she has to tell the people there that they have broken up and no longer together or they will expect them to be intimate like before, because somebody had taken a snap of their kissing at the gym before IIRC.
Very curious for updates.

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