Not a Cuckold, but Thought I'd Share My Situation

[FNQLivin]

Dr SL, I don't think anyone means you disrespect, but of the posters here who are offering their thoughts, it's all coming from a position of support, even if it's sometimes phrased incorrectly. I remember years ago when it all started to go pear shaped, how I was one of the people advising you to step back and that she was probably feeling incredibly confused and resentful. But the thought stayed with you, you got her to do it again and now you've gone back to the bad place again (even if only temporarily).

We only see what you write and I assume you're writing the best most favourable version of events (to you). Even that makes you out sometimes as someone who can be selfish and wants things done your way, even when the person doing them for you would have rather not gone there. From where I sit, you pushed her to an emotional affair with another man, by intentionally being inadequate in bed and then when she went there, talked about betrayal and other things. It was your kink, not hers and she wasn't doing it as a kink, but because she wanted physical intimacy with someone who seemed able to provide what she wanted. That she became in some way attached wasn't her fault.

Anyway, I wish you both nothing but the best.

[drstrangelove]

Dr SL, I don't think anyone means you disrespect, but of the posters here who are offering their thoughts, it's all coming from a position of support, even if it's sometimes phrased incorrectly. I remember years ago when it all started to go pear shaped, how I was one of the people advising you to step back and that she was probably feeling incredibly confused and resentful. But the thought stayed with you, you got her to do it again and now you've gone back to the bad place again (even if only temporarily).

We only see what you write and I assume you're writing the best most favourable version of events (to you). Even that makes you out sometimes as someone who can be selfish and wants things done your way, even when the person doing them for you would have rather not gone there. From where I sit, you pushed her to an emotional affair with another man, by intentionally being inadequate in bed and then when she went there, talked about betrayal and other things. It was your kink, not hers and she wasn't doing it as a kink, but because she wanted physical intimacy with someone who seemed able to provide what she wanted. That she became in some way attached wasn't her fault.

Anyway, I wish you both nothing but the best.

FNQ, with respect, I sense that you take my emotional swings with too much significance. If I’m feeling down for a couple of days, it’s not representative of the state of my life or overall relationship with my wife. Perhaps I’m recalling incorrectly, but you tend to comment after a down moment, placing far too much weight on that moment.as I’ve noted numerous times, I often treat this space as a journal—which means I’m going to note the downs along with the ups.

Everything between my wife and I is fine.

[FNQLivin]

You should go and read your own thread.

[DoctorLuv]

You should go and read your own thread.

I think you should reread the thread. The turmoil that Dr. Strangelove experienced when his wife had an affair had nothing to do with the sex of the affair. The reality was that his wife was coincidentally making up lies about him and bad mouthing him to her family and no doubt to her boyfriend F. Long after his wife had been open about the minutia of her affair sexually, she became hysterical when Dr. Strangelove insisted on seeing the text exchanges between his wife and her mom. The reason she became so emotional was obvious. She spoke about her husband in the most vile & untrue ways.

I could forgive my wife for being dissatisfied in our marriage, and leaving me for another, whether it be a dalliance or whether it be forever. I would not forgive her if she made up lies about me to portray me as evil just to justify her dalliance or her departure.

Clearly, Dr. Strangelove has grown worrisome with others, insisting that they know the most intimate details of his marriage much better than he does. Frankly, so have I.

[Jujube]

I wish there was a “like “ feature on this site

[mf2hd82]

Still no contact from F??

[Rogueuser1]

Still hoping she finds a better guy... but also understand the pull F has on her/over her.

Take care Doc - looking forward to hearing from you again soon.

[drstrangelove]

Still no contact from F??

Nope, he’s been a ghost now for a little more than a month.

My wife and I are off on vacation and I some of the old tendencies are beginning to take hold with F out of the picture. After a few months of lots of sex, I’m starting to get more requests to lick her or her offering HJs.

We are on vacation now and recharging, but I did discuss the topic again and she reconfirmed she is open to cucking me again. For her, it’s as simple as it’s fun to do and I’m ok with it—it’s sometimes weird to think of how simple it might be from a woman’s perspective: sex is fun. On the other hand, she’s not interested in just jumping in bed with a random, so it’ll happen when she finds the opportunity.

[DoctorLuv]

Your last statement reminded me of the following quote:
"Problems can become opportunities when the right people come together." — Robert Redford

[Rogueuser1]

Hopefully you guys had a great trip and came back recharged/reenergized!

[drstrangelove]

Hopefully you guys had a great trip and came back recharged/reenergized!

The trip was great, but things have been a bit rocky since we got back. I’m trying to be empathetic to my wife, who has a variety of stress points right now, but it’s been a struggle for sure.

That said, she went to a school event yesterday and both F and R (F’s exwife) were there separately. It was obviously awkward—and presumably even more awkward for R.

When my wife shared what happened, I told her that I’m sorry she was in that situation and it’s probably for the best F is behind her now. She jumped on that and got defensive, asking if I wanted her to stop this dynamic and if so wondering why I had recently said I was open to her using Tinder.

Her defensiveness caught me off guard, so I just said I meant that maybe it wasn’t the worst thing that he ended it, but I’m still open to the dynamic on the whole. I pointed to some of F’s sketchy, negative qualities and noted it’s for the best he moved on.

She again was defensive, saying he only paused things and didn’t end them and that she was still very open to seeing him again if he reached out. I asked if she had any reason to think he would, and she said he made eye contact with her multiple times and unless she was crazy, he still seemed very interested.

The conversation then shortly after went off the rails on another topic, but enough was shared where I’m now clear on where she is: she is very eager for him to text her again and she will be upset with me if I suggest she not see him.

Again, I know where I’m writing this and many of you are likely thrilled at the idea of me being somewhat of an unwilling cuck, but I have genuine concerns about where things are with my wife right now, so I’m taking the time to really think this all through. She has a lot on her plate and I don’t want to invite more stress into our lives.

As for my sex life, we had sex once since the vacation last weekend and absolutely nothing since then. She’s clearly not interested and I’m not pressing for anything—it’s taken a long time, but I’m just not interested in pushing for sex with her if she doesn’t want it with me. Previously I’d have been hurt seeing how eager she was to see him and not me, but it honestly isn’t even bothering me right now—it is what it is.

[Rogueuser1]

Your wife does tend to get contentious about him - best to stay away from the topic. I am sure she is hurt that he brushed her aside --- it would have been better if he'd fucked her brains out until she got tired of him and called it all of. I am sure is trying to understand why he didn't want her, why he didn't find her attractive even though she was practically throwing herself at him. It's a little sad but it is what it is and probably best if you don't mess with it right now.
Hopefully she will take your suggestion and try twitter or some other method of finding a guy - I think the sooner she fucks another guy or two the better especially if she enjoys it just as much or more than she did fucking him. That would probably help her finally move on a bit from this obsession.
Hopefully you are able to continue to be supportive and understanding as she works through the pain of rejection.

[Coolcalm]

She’s in love with him is what has been happening all along it seems.

[Rogueuser1]

She's certainly in lust with him - love with him isn't the same.

[drstrangelove]

She’s in love with him is what has been happening all along it seems.

I can see this perspective. Objectively speaking, her behavior is in line with that, but what I’m trying to explain is it’s not love. She feels indignant that he is rejecting her—it doesn’t compute to her. She wants him because he doesn’t want her, not because she’s in love with him.

Regardless, the result is the same in many ways, so perhaps it’s a distinction without a difference. She’s caught up on fucking him again and she’s going to be angry/hurt if he doesn’t reach out (he hasn’t yet). My projection here is that if he doesn’t, she will, and it’ll be out of anger and frustration with him.

[Coolcalm]

She wouldn’t have this sort of reaction (and since she’s been with him) she’s had this sort of reaction-and she’s lied every step of the way. She rejects the Dr. she has no desire for him and didn’t even want a marital relationship with him. She wants the cop affair guy. It’s so obvious to anyone looking in from the outside. Even the Dr. recently admitted he’s concerned about the marriage…again…
I’m not trying to be snarky but it should be something that the Dr. susses out.
She seems to be a real awful wife-a least from what has been written about in this thread. If I’m wrong I’m be happy to apologize.

[DoctorLuv]

She’s in love with him is what has been happening all along it seems.

I can see this perspective. Objectively speaking, her behavior is in line with that, but what I’m trying to explain is it’s not love. She feels indignant that he is rejecting her—it doesn’t compute to her. She wants him because he doesn’t want her, not because she’s in love with him.

Regardless, the result is the same in many ways, so perhaps it’s a distinction without a difference. She’s caught up on fucking him again and she’s going to be angry/hurt if he doesn’t reach out (he hasn’t yet). My projection here is that if he doesn’t, she will, and it’ll be out of anger and frustration with him.

It seems your wife has an immature, schoolgirl infatuation with F. I think F was more interested in revenge fucks with your wife, not sharing his life with her. Frankly, she’s not really wanting to share her life with him either. Both guys and girls can make themselves more desirable to insecure individuals by playing hard to get or at least appearing unavailable. I believe that’s F’s power over your wife. I think there is zero chance your wife would end up in a serious relationship with F. Because his life was blown up by their initial affair, I think F thinks your wife is a bit psycho and dangerous. I certainly don’t think that, but I think F does.

[drstrangelove]

She’s in love with him is what has been happening all along it seems.

I can see this perspective. Objectively speaking, her behavior is in line with that, but what I’m trying to explain is it’s not love. She feels indignant that he is rejecting her—it doesn’t compute to her. She wants him because he doesn’t want her, not because she’s in love with him.

Regardless, the result is the same in many ways, so perhaps it’s a distinction without a difference. She’s caught up on fucking him again and she’s going to be angry/hurt if he doesn’t reach out (he hasn’t yet). My projection here is that if he doesn’t, she will, and it’ll be out of anger and frustration with him.

It seems your wife has an immature, schoolgirl infatuation with F. I think F was more interested in revenge fucks with your wife, not sharing his life with her. Frankly, she’s not really wanting to share her life with him either. Both guys and girls can make themselves more desirable to insecure individuals by playing hard to get or at least appearing unavailable. I believe that’s F’s power over your wife. I think there is zero chance your wife would end up in a serious relationship with F. Because his life was blown up by their initial affair, I think F thinks your wife is a bit psycho and dangerous. I certainly don’t think that, but I think F does.

Yes, I think this is all reasonable.

[jratt85]

I can see this perspective. Objectively speaking, her behavior is in line with that, but what I’m trying to explain is it’s not love. She feels indignant that he is rejecting her—it doesn’t compute to her. She wants him because he doesn’t want her, not because she’s in love with him.

Regardless, the result is the same in many ways, so perhaps it’s a distinction without a difference. She’s caught up on fucking him again and she’s going to be angry/hurt if he doesn’t reach out (he hasn’t yet). My projection here is that if he doesn’t, she will, and it’ll be out of anger and frustration with him.

Reminds me a lot of beaten woman syndrome where they convince themselves that being in an abusive relationship is completely normal and is at least better than being alone, that the don't believe that anyone else could possibly want them so they convince themselves that they should never leave.
I'm sorry that she's so closed off to the truth and so damn quick to jump on you for it.

[Cuckedoutoflove]

Hey DSL,
I've been following your journey from the very beginning and I must admit its definitely had many ups and down for you.

Many times i wanted to comment but held back to see where you took things that were running through your always busy mind. For instance your chastity device. My wife has me wear a "HOLY TRAINER V3". Its very comfortable and because of my girth and size of ball sac she purchased the the large ring and wide sheath. With any device there will be occasional pulling or pinching. The reason I mention this is because your wife should take more control of your cock and orgasms. Long periods of you being securely locked up tight and only allowed out for showering or when she feels you deserve it. There is also a ring sold seperate that fits inside with spikes. When you start letting your mind wander to sex the spikes bring you back to reality. Amazing how fast you refocus. Remember no one ever died from blue balls

When we entered into this lifestyle it was pretty much the same as yours except reversed.it was hotwife first then cuckold. I no longer did it for her and she needed more. So it was her idea (because I was a compulsive masterbater) to get the cage. She could see i was overwhelmed with my pleasure and not zoned in on hers. Over the years she's made me wear a smaller sheath to shrink the size of my cock to prove she owns it and continues to make it worthless to any other woman but her. And I'm ok with that. I was 7" now im 4" which she humiliates me with. Making me show her best friend

I Can tell you this. Being locked up for long periods had changed me. I became very focused on her pleasure and not mine. Like your wife mine would get upset at all the humping, grabbing and wanting sex from her when the sex from me wasn't what she wanted. It was her b/f that she thought about. Yes I was horny all the time wanting her but that too went away somewhat. I became very focused on pleasing her like a good cuck and husband. After all she is MY hotwife and I was and still am madly in love with her. No more fighting and arguing over dumb stuff. Actually things got a thousand times better. Much more hugging, kissing, cuddling either on the couch or in bed. Alot more cuckolding and reminding me of my place. Alot more of her going to bed at night naked so relaxed cuddling and rubbing against me knowing i knew my place and she didn't have to stress the whole sex thing from me. Her Love for me became stronger and she showed me that constantly. So just a thought the 2 of you might wanna think about to relax your situation and maybe you bringing it up to her will show her how much you love her and respect that she's in charge of where she takes both of you and that theres not going to be any pressure from you. And if she pulls that line that she used a way back... becareful what you wish for... tell her i know what im wishing for and thats for you to be happy. Dont say us... make it all about her.

One last thing. Because you don't post pictures... the ankle bracelet... I purchased my wife a gold diamond tennis bracelet with a HW charm and a diamond studded key. When around family and unknowing friends she just removes the HW charm. But loves that the twinkle of the diamonds draws attention from alot of prospects when out with her girlfriends and loves that the key is right there next to the face of he boyfriend when her legs are thrown back while he's pile driving her.

Again its all just a thought. I dont want to see the 2 of you split. I've never seen her but from your description she seems quite beautiful and a keeper and i dont believes its all because of the kids. Remember to make it about HER and you will get everything you dream of. BEST OF LUCK with your continuing journey. Maybe start a new thread but take it out of the cuckold section and start it in the hotwife so she knows you feel its all about her and her pleasure. She may even end up letting you post in the hotties section, stranger things have been known to happen when you change your out look on life.

[drstrangelove]

Hey DSL,
I've been following your journey from the very beginning and I must admit its definitely had many ups and down for you.

Many times i wanted to comment but held back to see where you took things that were running through your always busy mind. For instance your chastity device. My wife has me wear a "HOLY TRAINER V3". Its very comfortable and because of my girth and size of ball sac she purchased the the large ring and wide sheath. With any device there will be occasional pulling or pinching. The reason I mention this is because your wife should take more control of your cock and orgasms. Long periods of you being securely locked up tight and only allowed out for showering or when she feels you deserve it. There is also a ring sold seperate that fits inside with spikes. When you start letting your mind wander to sex the spikes bring you back to reality. Amazing how fast you refocus. Remember no one ever died from blue balls

When we entered into this lifestyle it was pretty much the same as yours except reversed.it was hotwife first then cuckold. I no longer did it for her and she needed more. So it was her idea (because I was a compulsive masterbater) to get the cage. She could see i was overwhelmed with my pleasure and not zoned in on hers. Over the years she's made me wear a smaller sheath to shrink the size of my cock to prove she owns it and continues to make it worthless to any other woman but her. And I'm ok with that. I was 7" now im 4" which she humiliates me with. Making me show her best friend

I Can tell you this. Being locked up for long periods had changed me. I became very focused on her pleasure and not mine. Like your wife mine would get upset at all the humping, grabbing and wanting sex from her when the sex from me wasn't what she wanted. It was her b/f that she thought about. Yes I was horny all the time wanting her but that too went away somewhat. I became very focused on pleasing her like a good cuck and husband. After all she is MY hotwife and I was and still am madly in love with her. No more fighting and arguing over dumb stuff. Actually things got a thousand times better. Much more hugging, kissing, cuddling either on the couch or in bed. Alot more cuckolding and reminding me of my place. Alot more of her going to bed at night naked so relaxed cuddling and rubbing against me knowing i knew my place and she didn't have to stress the whole sex thing from me. Her Love for me became stronger and she showed me that constantly. So just a thought the 2 of you might wanna think about to relax your situation and maybe you bringing it up to her will show her how much you love her and respect that she's in charge of where she takes both of you and that theres not going to be any pressure from you. And if she pulls that line that she used a way back... becareful what you wish for... tell her i know what im wishing for and thats for you to be happy. Dont say us... make it all about her.

One last thing. Because you don't post pictures... the ankle bracelet... I purchased my wife a gold diamond tennis bracelet with a HW charm and a diamond studded key. When around family and unknowing friends she just removes the HW charm. But loves that the twinkle of the diamonds draws attention from alot of prospects when out with her girlfriends and loves that the key is right there next to the face of he boyfriend when her legs are thrown back while he's pile driving her.

Again its all just a thought. I dont want to see the 2 of you split. I've never seen her but from your description she seems quite beautiful and a keeper and i dont believes its all because of the kids. Remember to make it about HER and you will get everything you dream of. BEST OF LUCK with your continuing journey. Maybe start a new thread but take it out of the cuckold section and start it in the hotwife so she knows you feel its all about her and her pleasure. She may even end up letting you post in the hotties section, stranger things have been known to happen when you change your out look on life.

For the most part, I’ve stopped initiating sex, leaving it up to her; and for the most part, that’s been ok with that. I do my best to read signals when she’s horny as sometimes she wants me to initiate. Ultimately, we haven’t had conflict I can recall about sex recently and sex frequency is obviously much less.

I think we are both fine when we use the cage, but I don’t think either of us our interested in it as a lifestyle right now—while she was seeing F it made sense, but she’s not interested in having that control 24/7 and I’m not interested in doing it if it feels like I’m forcing it. Perhaps when she’s seeing someone again, we will explore it more.

As for the anklet, apologies if I didn’t mention it, but she now has one and always wears it. It’s sexy as hell and I notice it all the time.

Lastly, I do have an update.

I was a bit suspicious following our chat last weekend about her seeing F and I snooped. I discovered that she texted F on Monday night, just saying hi. He never replied.

Yesterday (Thursday), I pried into it a bit, asking if she had plans to reach out and she came clean right away, saying she texted him and then felt stupid and embarrassed when he didn’t respond, so she didn’t tell me. I wasn’t mad, it just stirs up old trust issues from the affair, but that’s on me and I understand her perspective.

She wants to return to the lifestyle, but she’s very clearly still hung up on him. The best thing that could happen now is him just never responding and her gradually opening up to someone new. She needs closure with him and this would do it. My concern is that he will eventually respond though. And if it’s in the near future, she’s going to want to see him. So we’ll see what happens.

As a cuck, I’m torn on it—i can see she wants to prove to him that he fucked up pausing things. Her way of doing that will be to cross boundaries and let him do what he wants. I have no doubt anal, ass eating, creampies, etc. will all be on the table as she proves to him she’s the sexy girl of his dreams. So that would all potentially be fun to experience for me, but this guy is a clear dead end and I know it’s best to move past him ASAP. I recognize I don’t have much control over it though.

[Guhunkadorn]

IMO your handling it all as well as possible.

F's behavior could stem from many logical reasons.

[mf2hd82]

This thread is like waiting for the second half of Yellowstone season 5.

[Bomerang43]

If F message her again i think nothing can stop her

[drstrangelove]

This thread is like waiting for the second half of Yellowstone season 5.

LOL. I feel that.

But it really is a dead end right now. Our sex life has really dried up lately and she has been very direct with me that she would like to see him again if he reaches back out.

He’s totally mind fucked her—it’s almost like she feels bad for not pushing more boundaries with him, taking blame for him not reaching out (not going on BC fast enough, stopping him from finishing anal the last time he tried, etc.).

I feel like it’s inevitable that he will and the result is going to be her going into full slut mode no matter what I say. I’ve just accepted it and I’m waiting for whatever happens to happen.

She also has a long work trip coming at the end of the month, so that’s always an opportunity for her to consider someone else too I guess. Regardless, not much to update on my end for now.